Defunctland: The History of the Worst SeaWorld Ride, Submarine Quest

[@giagia7734]

That Legoland ride is definitely a direct slap in the face for Seaworld

[@andreimanila0718]

Seaworld: Submarine ride with game Legoland: ACTUAL SUBMARINE RIDE WITH REAL FISH AND LEGO FIGURES! Seaworld: 👁👄👁

[@willywonka3050]

It almost seems too good to be a Legoland ride.

[@jongon0848]

I honestly gotta give them credit. They managed to please fans and also troll Seaworld. That's pretty impressive

[@SuperNuclearUnicorn]

@@willywonka3050 you better take back that Legoland disrespect right now or I'll scatter 2x4 bricks all over your house

[@willywonka3050]

@@SuperNuclearUnicorn I was a huge legoland fan when I was younger, and the park was in better shape. But the park is sadly in a state of slow decay because the rides and decorations aren’t getting maintained enough.

[@lazyhammerwieldingpenguin2247]

There's something so pitiable about the fact no one knows for sure when Submarine Quest closed. It's like it died in its apartment, and people only found out months later after burglars broke in to steal the tv.

[@Ripcookiethief]

Nah, the landlord finds out when the rent is late

[@AntonioOliveira-ed5yt]

This is weirdly specific, and extremely accurate LOL

[@TitanosaurusFan75]

I haven't seen that analogy before but I will definitely use it.

[@DarkDesperado25]

Fucking hell, not sure you can bury an attraction harder than that.

[@keybyss98]

More like “Only found when its smell and flies slowly seep into neighboring apartments”.

[@Hansen104th]

You know you’ve screwed up when Legoland has actual fish in their ride and you don’t, and the name of your theme park is literally Sea World.

[@andrearosario8512]

True observation, but I honestly think SeaWorld would have been skewered if they had live animals. Not sure how Legoland got away with it.

[@cattibingo]

@@andrearosario8512 most fish are not as sapient as mammals?

[@eatatjoe]

Also there's an irony in that Merlin Entertainment actually gives a shit about their animals.

[@belisauriusfish9406]

@@cattibingo I wouldn’t call it an issue of sapience. Orcas just don’t handle captivity all that well. The fish present at Legoland handle captivity much better in comparison, so once they’re used to the presence of the ride, they live a fairly low stress life. Getting fish used to things is actually a much bigger part of aquariums than some people realize, be it feeding schedules, checkups, or guests. Sorry, I realize I got a bit off topic.

[@FelipeJaquez]

@@andrearosario8512 people care more about orcas than crabs I guess

[@Eira_99]

"this was only a problem when the ride was operating" is the most insane back handed compliment ever.

[@abigailowens3907]

"He's only abusive when he's sober" -The Matchmaker song in Fiddler on the Roof I'm pretty sure

[@booberfraggle]

@@abigailowens3907You’ve heard he has a temper- he’ll beat you every night! But only if he’s sober… so you’re alright! 😊

[@PuppetMasterIX]

"My condition is only a problem when I try to breathe."

[@dumbumbumbum8649]

“Dozens of guests who had waited minutes” That was the most casual burn I’ve ever heard

[@KentuckyFriedMantis]

OMG HI BILL CYPHER JDJGHFKJHISDUJKWDJDIJWDW

[@dumbumbumbum8649]

@@KentuckyFriedMantis hi, pathetic human thing

[@letsmakegames947]

Yellow Dorito

[@KentuckyFriedMantis]

@@dumbumbumbum8649 :(

[@s.m.2523]

I'm sorry, I don't quite get how it is a burn ? Because they only waited minutes instead of hours ?

[@vabvaab]

You can feel the soulless powerpoints that led to this

[@drosera88]

In Ben Stein Voice: "Now if you would direct your attention to slide 52c, you will see the graph representing the entertainment per rider sigma value that we calculated using the formula outlined in appendix 3 section 2."

[@tacticalnuke5673]

@@drosera88 The investors were shown a graph of the riders' entertainment going up. Unknown to them, the graph was actually flipped upside down.

[@alexmijo]

@@drosera88 nah they weren't that precise

[@D3xt3rity]

You can just tell some middle manager in this design construction used the word “synergy”

[@yoced8213]

Where dozens of guests waited minutes

[@RichJordan3]

"Dozens of people who waited minutes to see the new attraction". This may be my new favorite line.

[@missmoanypants]

It’s a pretty savage line. 🤣

[@RichJordan3]

@@missmoanypants it's now up there with the Submarine ride was neither a sub nor marine

[@otakunthevegan4206]

Sick burn.

[@WasatchWind]

There was more salt in this episode than in the ocean.

[@benjaminveksler3793]

HEY I WAITED LIKE AN HOUR TO GO ON IT IT WAS ACRUALLY PRETTY DECENT

[@draculactica]

God I love that they essentially said, with no prompting, "hey guys this ride isn't gonna let you harpoon the animals in our aquariums"

[@shadophaxx2401]

Tbf I wouldn't put it past seaworld...

[@MikehMike01]

Would’ve been a better ride

[@fabiomcmuffin]

There must have been some idiot manager somewhere who thought that’s what it was going to be when he heard “dark ride”. Then when he was told it wouldn’t be, he insisted they specify that in the press release

[@outlawscar3328]

@@MikehMike01 I'm a little upset that I can't disagree with you here.

[@SuperfieldCrUn]

I'm guessing that they were afraid that people would assume that it was a shooting thing if they led with "it's an interactive dark ride", since that's what most interactive dark rides are.

[@stevenstice6683]

They promised those children an epic dark ride, but all I saw was... *CHEAPY* *THE* *CHEAPSKATE*

[@sallystandish7105]

Is this a spongebob reference?

[@MysteryMii]

@@sallystandish7105 Yes. Episode was Krabby Land.

[@sallystandish7105]

@@MysteryMii I love the krabby land episode

[@joserivas-sf5ej]

@@sallystandish7105 lhnjjj r

[@XwX1001]

"The children? I don't care about the children! I care about their parents' money!" - SeaWorld (probably)

[@420alfonzo6]

SeaWorld ride developers: "We're called SeaWorld right? So how about we put people underwa-" Joel Manby: *"PUT EM' 15 FEET IN THE AIR AND TELL EM' TO PLAY A MOBILE GAME."*

[@IsmailofeRegime]

Yeah, the screen stuff makes it look like a gimmick to distract from how unspectacular everything else is.

[@kira-dk2mx]

I don't understand how they could shell this out without thinking that maybe people would want to go see real fucking fish instead of a bunch of screens in broad daylight.

[@lunahetfield]

U forgot in the blazing hot sunlight becoz the ocean is about the sunlight

[@netherwolf3012]

@@lunahetfield I mean, if it was a "shallow" portion or something, might work, but not whatever the hell it actually ended up being.

[@BotAurelionSol]

Is that a british tank reference?

[@gracier1123]

The fact that seaworld had to go out of their way to say “no you will not be trying to murder the animals on the new ride” really says something about the public’s view on Seaworld

[@crazyfire9470]

It’s damn sad

[@TheChoujinVirus]

because they pussed out. They could have spent money on making a better environment for the orcas and they could have fought the ocean board's demand. Instead they kowtowed because of a bunch of whaleaboos

[@Jonathan-fb1kj]

@@TheChoujinVirus They always treated their Orcas in general like absolute trash. Hell if oyu look into it you'll find out how they even managed to get the Orcas in the first place which is actually depressing.

[@shaggster2360]

@@Jonathan-fb1kj yeah man

[@agentblackbird9435]

@Olivia 757 Same. I’ve been to Busch Gardens Williamsburg and I completely forgot they were owned by the same company. I like Busch a lot and I hope at some point they can branch off from Seaworld.

[@GazMic100]

The clever part about the Lego ride is that the carriage is top-hung supported on a track and dipped below the surface making the viewing windows underwater but all the complicated ride mechanics are above and in the dry. blow a few bubbles around as it decends, fill the tank with things to look at. Brilliant!

[@dharmallars]

Hey, sounds a lot like the original 20,000 leagues under the sea!

[@Shadowwand]

They could even add in hydraulics to help tilt the ride vehicle to simulate diving.

[@Valhalla05]

Like the 20000 leagues ride at Tokyo DisneySea. Neat.

[@jaknil]

Also much cheaper to build safely than a tunnel through a tank. Think emergency exits, power failures, fire or leaks.

[@MissBeeBonnet]

And much safer for the animals too! I like that every video I’ve seen of the legoland ride not only shows both kids AND parents excited and engaged and actually learning, but that a lot of the animals actually seem to be comfortable enough in their environment to come up to the ride car windows and check out the humans too, which suggests that they’re being pretty well taken care of (a stressed or sick animal will usually hide when possible) and have primarily positive associations with guest interactions? And I think that’s wonderful! That everyone in that tank, from guests passing through to the tank’s residents and the staff in charge of taking care of them and their homes, can have a positive experience thanks to smart design and engineering that takes all these parties’ needs and safety into consideration. 😊

[@Person-lk1vs]

i love how the lego park designers completed roasted sea world by saying “hey remember that submarine ride? let’s do that, but make it actually good”

[@Alpha0727]

Walt Disney did the same thing with Submarine Voyage. In the late 1950s, Walt Disney was furious that CBS was trying to get into the amusement park game with the Pacific Ocean Park after he originally went to them to help fund Disneyland in 1953, saying they didn’t want to be associated with something that sounded low-class as a Coney Island clone. CBS’s POP was creating a submarine walkthrough based on the USS NAUTILUS, but a modern version, not the one from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. In response, Walt Disney created Submarine Voyage with 8 actual submarines, produced by one of the world’s leading submarine shipyards. So, during the Cold War, Walt Disney had the 10th largest submarine fleet in the world and they were all stuck on a track in a small lagoon in his amusement park.

[@welcomefire]

I am a fan of stealing ideas to do them right when the original source can't be bothered.

[@Sonofavenger]

@@welcomefire Basically fanfiction and fanart in a nutshell. Source material didn't do it, so we will damnit.

[@Brunosky_Inc]

Sounds appropiate; they did the same with the Star Wars prequels!

[@welcomefire]

I do remember the lego star wars videogames being better than the prequels, yes.

[@survivordave]

"Let's bolt an iPad to a ride car. " "But won't the iPad distract people from the ride?" "Now you're getting it!"

[@ToastyMozart]

It's like some idiot executive thought "Kids like the ipads, put one on a ride!" with no thought as to how it'd actually improve things. If they were trying to seem "high tech," why not do something actually interesting with said tech? Give the kids cameras attached to the cart and have them take pictures of sealife as they pass by to "document" them and have the computer award points via image recognition like a real-life Pokemon Snap.

[@cryw1092]

@@ToastyMozart That actually sounds really cool. If that Nintendo Land thing is still around, maybe that's something they could do, if they haven't done it already.

[@anSealgair]

@@ToastyMozart An actual great idea for a ride from a KZbin viewer. It’s not a good look for a company with this much resources.

[@elizabethhicks4181]

@@anSealgair I read that comment and actually went “YEEESSSS” Okay, now you can actually make this an immersive totally black shoot em up dark ride using cameras instead of guns. That would be incredible. Can’t believe they didn’t consider it.

[@ZootWorld1]

@@elizabethhicks4181 Amazing how a couple random people on KZbin can come up with a much better ride than a boardroom full of executives.

[@tutti-frutti1429]

When the most well-received ride of your new land is a SWING RIDE, you know you built a pretty sucky new land.

[@DunnCarnage]

Swing rides are great though. If I'm building a theme park, day one, swing ride, guaranteed hit and guest sponge.

[@spellinwaiting5290]

@@DunnCarnage One of my favorite flat rides for sure.

[@juliagoodwin9510]

Hey, I love swing rides! Edit: I might have jumped the gun on this comment, sorry about that. 😅

[@PelicanOfDeath]

@GamerBear Yeah because they're great.

[@planescaped]

They're not saying swing rides are bad, they're saying that they are run-of-the-mill and standard. 08/15

[@alvivaashdown8133]

As someone who rode Deep Sea Adventures at Legoland, let me tell you it was incredible. There were fish everywhere and they all seemed so peaceful and curious. They didn't really go up to the submarine but they didn't care either. They just idly swam wherever they wanted to with no regard for the massive metal things that plodded through their territory. The submarines were going slow enough that even if they hit a fish the fish would be startled at most. It was such a relaxing enjoyable experience and I pity the people who rode Submarine Quest instead of this masterpiece

[@bradup]

I rode it relatively recently, it was something I doubt Submarine Quest could have ever achieved

[@marcostheblinkedscout1309]

That sounds very nice I wish you didnt need a child to enter legoland

[@FatherTime89]

I'm an adult who played with Legos as a kid, and I'd happily go to a Lego themed amusement park but the impression I get from Legoland is that the whole park is geared exclusively towards the younger than 13 demographic (and accompanying family) and that there's nothing for childless adults or thrill seekers. Is that your experience?

[@mqzd24]

@@FatherTime89as someone who’s been to legoland, absolutely. i once went on a trip with extended family when i was 17, and the most excitement i had was watching the kids get excited haha. that being said, the lego sculptures are really neat! and lego sealife is also pretty cool too 👍

[@SkigBiggler]

@@marcostheblinkedscout1309you don’t, only the discovery centres require a child. And they’re basically just themed chuck-e-cheese, not really worth your time if you’re an adult

[@benhaworth9937]

Props to Kevin for waiting for the perfect moment to reveal the absolute insanity of setting a deep sea ride in the open air. I was just as wonderfully baffled as the guests likely were.

[@barbararab6390]

Nothing says deep sea more than a car ride under the sun

[@Cyromantik]

They could've just gone with the Emerald City approach and handed all riders blue-lensed sunglasses.

[@sv32099]

I mean it'd be cool if they set it up to contrast our normal everyday life under the sun versus the cold dark depths. But no they just put two t.v.s in elaborate stands and looped a CAMOUFLAGED octopus

[@ryancarrell3186]

"It was neither sub, nor marine, as it was 15 feet up in the open air." Brutal.

[@Shenaldrac]

Pfft, who wants to be under water? Fish pee in the water! Do you want to be in fish pee? Of course not. The solution is to have the ride as far from water as possible!

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

@@Shenaldrac at least in the water you're safe from breathing in people's farts and recycled air. 😟 I'd rather deal with fish pee than the rest.

[@thefog13]

No, it is sub. Sub-quality.

[@JackTheSpades]

I'm so used to Defunctland being about old attractions and parks that them mentioning Covid hit me like a slap to the face.

[@ianfinnigan264]

With how massively the parks industry as a whole was affected, it was inevitably gonna come up in one of these. I just didn't expect it to be so soon

[@KillerOrca]

Time marches on, failures continue to this day.

[@austinreed7343]

Not to mention PETA’s deathblow to SeaWorld.

[@DisgruntledDoomer]

Let's hope that in a few years it will sound even weirder and more dated!

[@gracehaven5459]

Too real

[@Choppytehbear1337]

Why not make a dark ride that travels through an actual aquarium? I'm 25 and I would ride that. It's unique and probably actually fun for all ages.

[@lbr7897]

The Seas at Epcot at Disney World does that! It has a tunnel that goes through the aquarium, and instead of being on a tablet, there's animations projected so they look like they're in the real aquarium. It's pretty cool.

[@SquirrelASMR]

Ripley aquarium near me has a super slow automatic floor old people can stand on in a water tunnel. It's cool looking but slow and full of babies and seniors though. I prefer the dark places though

[@twistedyogert]

And it's not predictable either. You could ride it twice in the same day and you'd never see the same things twice since the animals in the tanks are always doing something different each time.

[@jaymartin8273]

Totally! Like those walkthrough aquariums! I'd ride that!

[@elisemayesem]

It's not exactly a dark ride but the aquarium in Houston has a tunnel ride that goes through the shark tank. There's also a fake shark that shoots water at riders

[@SgtZima]

This must be one of the saddest rides I’ve ever seen. They’re literally trying to distract you with an iPad.

[@0v_x0]

Which are best used in direct sunlight, of course

[@SgtZima]

@@0v_x0 That's why they make the screens extra glossy.

[@NickanM]

@@SgtZima That surface is excellent when you want to check your makeup.

[@SgtZima]

@@NickanM Or to check if you were drooling after waking from your nap.

[@vaillville3438]

Love these comments

[@CoolattasLab]

Obsessed with the super sarcastic dad filming who keeps making silly comments and pans the camera down just to show himself pressing the blue button after the door is already open

[@jackrambit9637]

“Wow look at this amazing experience that cannot be replicated” a man to aspire to be

[@Saint_Magnapinna]

A true man of culture.

[@Movetheproduct]

not that funny.

[@godregretsme6955]

@@Movetheproduct 583 people disagree with you

[@ajck]

he's lmg vids on youtube

[@LK04888]

The fact that the part of the ride meant to be the Twilight zone of the ocean, which has NO coral and really no plant life whatsoever, is shown with a bunch of fake coral.. well it sure is something

[@eschelar]

It's almost as if the people making the ride were totally disconnected from the subject of the ride. Like "let's put some cars on a track and pull random buzzwords from a hat and insert shoddy examples of that... Or whatever..."

[@FatTibbySuccubus]

Goes to show how little these people actually care about marine life!

[@ingridc0ld]

Actually there is coral that lives in the mesophotic zone which is basically a part of what is colloquially known as the twilight zone. There is little known about the coral, however, so making a ride with them in it is pretty foolish, if you ask me.

[@timothymclean]

Coral reefs are famous for not needing sunlight for their zooxanthellae. A poor fit for the twilight zone, a worse fit for The Twilight Zone, yet oddly apt for the twilight zone in The Twilight Zone.

[@seigeengine]

@@timothymclean An alternate world where the bottoms of the oceans are intensely lit, and the surface is always dark would be an interesting setting. I am now writing this down in my collection of ideas I will never use.

[@carolyns4519]

Never rode it, but it sounds like one of the rides of all time. It had seats, movement, and ran on a track. It was certainly an attraction.

[@Awesomeasumpta13]

It even had eeeeeeels!

[@kjnodwell]

Bahaha😝

[@goatdeer8403]

This was a very funny joke the first time people said it

[@lunarvision]

SeaWorld just needs to close already. It’s a relic of lazy Western corporate blah.

[@bloodyhell8201]

​@@Awesomeasumpta13eeeeels, honey!

[@gayflower900]

11:34 “That octopus was totally camouflaged!” Yes, octopi have a special stealth mechanism where they use the glare from the blinding sunlight to keep you from seeing them on the TV screen

[@cemarz]

Evolution!

[@HerrHick]

I see, so that's why you usually see both tentacles and mysterious blinding light camouflaging girls in anime. Those japanese animators sure know their marine biology !

[@jamesharding3459]

@@HerrHick Every goddamn comment even tangentially involving tentacles or tentacled animals, and some variation on this fucking comment gets made! I'm not mad, just in awe. Ok, maybe a little mad.

[@timothymclean]

@@jamesharding3459 I find it irritating. Not all anime is hentai, guys.

[@jamesharding3459]

@@timothymclean But a lot is

[@JennyNicholson]

They could've saved all the money from the ride and just had a stage where the parade eel danced around

[@Emplordxiii]

A wild Jenny Nicholson appeared! Hello!

[@IVR02]

Maybe they could've even brought the bubble guy in to join the eel... then again, there probably wouldn't have been enough room in the budget for both.

[@BrowncoatFairy]

Maybe they spent the scenery budget on a black market animatronic pilot boy character.

[@AhriOfAstora]

Would love Parade Eel DIY video

[@ValkyrieTiara]

I don't know why I'm surprised to see you here. I really shouldn't be.

[@stonexl]

This ride existed from 2017-2018, well into the era of social media and smartphone cameras, yet nobody knows exactly when it closed. That alone tells you all you need to know about how much of a crap people gave about this thing.

[@RetraCarteR]

For that matter, we don't even know for sure if it DID last into 2018.

[@CJ-42070]

@TransCube how is that tribute video going?

[@bernlin2000]

I'm impressed it could rack up such long wait times, when I can't imagine most park goers had any interests in going on the ride (especially without young kids). But I guess that's what happens when it apparently is only sending in 15-20 people at a time lol.

[@CJ-42070]

@@bernlin2000 maybe people wanted to ride to see how bad/boring it was.

[@JSChronicle489]

Maybe it was because Seaworld had a horrible reputation at the time.

[@brandonamison8950]

“Dozens of guests who waited *minutes* casually walked inside….” Bro, you are a wordsmith!

[@Leprechaunproduction]

I want to see an adult version of this ride where you get on a US Navy attack submarine, only to have it leave the harbor and grind its way over dry land while you frantically tap buttons to see if you can launch your thermonuclear missiles while that annoying paper clip from Microsoft Office keeps asking if you need some help. It'd be the greatest ride ever.

[@hobbified]

Nuclear missiles on an attack sub? Nah.

[@sc885]

Underrated

[@iR-80]

And then Phil Swift comes and challenges you to a battle to see if you can sink his Flex Tape boat

[@notgray88]

"It looks like you're trying to launch an ICBM. Would you like help?"

[@LanceThumping]

I'm 10000% in support of an entirely parody themed amusement park. The entire park could just be a beautiful nightmare of amazing clusterfuck rides like that. The entertainment would come from both the abstract weirdness of the rides and the mockery of the failings of other parks.

[@l1z4rdon7]

“Let’s go under the sea!” Immediately opens door to 100 F California summer heat and drags you outside.

[@cieldesu]

LMAO underrated comment

[@alexander1485]

you mean 100F Louisiana summer, come on, its like being under the ocean with all your sweat.

[@Took48]

Poopee

[@Dayllan]

I just wanted you to know that I have work in the morning but instead I'm laughing my ass off at your comment

[@jamesrav]

never 100 at Mission Bay, rarely reaches 80. I used to own a small boat, even on July 4th for Sea World fireworks we often had to wear jackets or have a blanket. But the main point - outside "underwater" ride - is pretty dumb. I guess it's too risky to have built a fully enclosed 'tube ride' with screens and moving animals like Disneyland would have. That would be like a submarine. Seemed like wayyyy too much focus on the touch screen aspect. I guess the pitch was "kids love their tablets and phone!! . Forget about showing a realistic animatronic octopus 3 feet away, that's so 1960's"

[@ilikebirds7748]

I don't think I've ever laugh this hard at a Defunctland episode. Like, this was _peak_ sarcasm and I can't get enough "The next zone was the sunlight zone, where guests saw _EEEEEELS_ "

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

Link: OoOoOoOoH, EeEeEeEeEeLs

[@iKnowaNoah]

My personal favorite was "... casually walked inside the new world of exploration, discovery, and conservation- by apparently immediately trampling the plants due to lack of fencing."

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

@@iKnowaNoah Press F for those plants T.T

[@jessepadilla2400]

EEEeeEeELss

[@r3ked272]

EEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS

[@emilyofjane]

Shoutout to the guy who filmed the ride, 10/10 best ride commentary ever

[@garythecyclingnerd6219]

I have never designed a ride or marketed a ride and I’m 100% confident I could have made a better sea world ride.

[@mikekromer2669]

We all could

[@timewizard7868]

LMAO

[@mellamojeff458]

literally anyone who played rollercoaster tycoon can design a better ride

[@hazonku]

Right? Slap a big fish tank in the middle of a traditional large dark room ride, put something in the middle of the tank to block the view to the other side while still allowing the fish to move freely, then just make a clover leaf shaped track that takes you out to fluorescent reef & shipwreck scenes in the corners, and turns back in to each side of the same tank dressed a little differently on each side. THAT easy. Cue the swelling orchestral music as you "dive in" to the room from the outside, and "surface" again as you exit. Put some baby entertainment in line cue so folks know what they're getting into, have some fake interactive Blue Clues style character on the iPad. DONE. It wouldn't have even been to far outside of the scope of the carny company they hired for this abomination.

[@BanaDoyabad]

I have done it dozens of times. It's really not that hard ( _granted they were all in Rollercoaster Tycoon_ ) but my guests were very happy damnit!

[@missybarbour6885]

Activists: You're abusing these animals! Kevin, grabbing the microphone: AND YOUR PHOTOSHOP GAME IS WEAK!

[@aggieswholovemusic8441]

This actually made me burst out laughing thank you!

[@dragongirl89115]

Seaworld, not giving a shit about their animals or their rides apparently!

[@marcusblackwell2372]

This is comment no.1

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

@@dragongirl89115 they never have and never will. 🤠

[@sassycreator2795]

WHO’S KEVIN???

[@TheRyderShotgunn]

"the deep, blue...blinding sunlight" that made me actually burst out laughing

[@NTMonsty]

I guess they tunneled so deep that they reached the fucking Mantle.

[@funkywunkyyy]

11:12

[@tiagoferreira400]

its meme worthy

[@funkywunkyyy]

@@tiagoferreira400 Maybe just the picture without the audio

[@Eltrotraw]

I facepalmed when I got to that part of the video. The designers didn't think socal sunlight might be a problem with screen glare and the atmospheric clash?

[@brianpatenaude2321]

Kevin seems legitimately annoyed with this one, I feel like he actually went on this ride once.

[@tacocat318]

Personally I feel like seaworld just has that effect on people.

[@pikachucetthesecond4296]

​@@tacocat318 They piss off everyone (especially people who like Orcas-like ME)

[@darealconman]

"Guests began their expedition into the majesty of the deep, blue... *blinding sunlight."* I'm dead LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣

[@mariic2]

So are Sea World's shares.

[@mclarenspeedtail8988]

Lolol

[@TheSongwritingCat]

Truly baffling ride design. I've never thought about how jarring this would be because... people just don't do this.

[@marrqi7wini54]

UTA!

[@_JustJoe]

@@mariic2 😭

[@merrittanimation7721]

It's funny that an amusement park based around aquatic life's ride got shown up by a submarine ride for an amusement park on based around toys. It's like if Sea World had better lego dioramas than Legoland itself.

[@skittykay]

I think the whole aquarium in SD Legoland is actually really cool. I've gone to the aquarium and skipped the actual amusement park on several occasions. They're doing something right there IMO. Probaby because that Legoland branding is so established as opposed to SeaWorld which seems to be floundering (haha).

[@MuscarV2]

"an amusement park based around toys" is such an incredibly bad, idiotic and disrespectful description of Legoland.

[@OccidentalAvian]

@@MuscarV2 It's a land of legos, which are toys. I love legos but it's an apt description

[@hollowneedles]

@@MuscarV2 it's overgeneralizing but essentially correct. It's a park designed for amusement based around toys and is run by a corporation which makes that line of toys and wants to get as many people as possible to buy those toys by using a myriad of marketing methods and mediums with a bottom line of making money off of Marcus.

[@RikFTK]

@@hollowneedles Actually, the Legoland parks are not run by Lego. They are run by Merlin Entertainment, who have rights to use the Lego name. They also operate all the Sealife centers around the world, which is why they were able to produce a quality aquatic ride at most of the Legoland parks.

[@kell2883]

“Wow! That octopus was totally camouflaged!” Well yes…the blinding sunlight made me barely see the screens

[@wonderlandious]

Bro, Knotts Berry farm did a ride similar to this, a steam punk ocean themed dark ride. And let me tell you it was so, so much fun! There were robotic sea creatures, steampunk aliens to shoot, and it was an *ACTUAL* dark ride! Step it up SeaWorld, step it up.

[@Shark_Builds_Bro]

That was Voyage to the Iron Reef. It was rethemed to Knott's Beary Tales in honor of Knott's 100th anniversary in 2021.

[@wonderlandious]

@deanfinder5195 ahhh thank you! It's been several years since I went, so I couldn't remember the name. Still, it was loads of fun! (Did they ever change it back to Voyage of the Iron Reef? Or is it still Knott's Beary Tales?)

[@Valhalla05]

​@@wonderlandiousIt's still Knotts Beary Tales. And annoyingly, they changed the guns from a standard trigger to the Toy Story Mania style Cannon pull...thing. In my opinion, that kills the ride more ways than one.

[@wonderlandious]

@Valhalla05 Damn it Knotts, ya had a good thing going with that ride! Yuck, way to take the fun factor out of the guns :(

[@Austroid]

This ride was the equivalent of giving kids an ipad while in a movie theater.

[@Now_This_Is_Podracing]

Pffffft, perfect way to put it

[@coastercrafter1productions300]

Or they can download better games instead

[@chris-hayes]

Except the movie theater had no roof or walls, and the seats moved at 1 mph through the parking lot.

[@EWOODJ]

@@chris-hayes A drive-in where the cars keep moving.

[@jvanhest]

Native San Diegan and proud former SeaWorld employee and even I can’t find anything redeemable about this. You would have been better off taking the iPad in the theater option.

[@jeeppeep9689]

Love the fact that there are rumors someone died on this. what would they die from? being sandblasted by an octopus?

[@IsmailofeRegime]

Link's voice causing the guest to go insane and punch a hole in the touchscreen to make the bad noises stop.

[@stevenstice6683]

Their last thoughts were, "I want to get off Mr Bone's Wild Ride."

[@lunahetfield]

Ismail XD

[@alexah3256]

Boredom? Or maybe sun stroke?

[@yosh9192]

They sat in the top left seat and got unlucky

[@rosebyanyname]

Kevin's unimpressed monotone was working overtime this episode

[@mindyschocolate]

😂😂😂

[@missybarbour6885]

King of deadpan

[@engr.Lim.D]

Eeeeeeels

[@andrewduong2740]

Kevin is _scathing_ today

[@krikeydial3430]

They need to start executing charlatans. This ride is a scam and nothing else.

[@fabiomcmuffin]

“The Eel from a discontinued ice show at Busch Gardens” how do people figure this stuff out lol

[@keith_5584]

You can enable the developer settings panel at any church if you ask a priest. Under that menu its, enable pedantic captions. Just check with your partner first, reading their real emotions is a double edged sword...

[@Protato_Gamer]

@@keith_5584what?

[@Hypogean7]

@@keith_5584 What?

[@johntiseo7052]

One person goes "hey I remember that" loud enough to be documented and the pieces fall into place from there for the researchers.

[@gavinthecrafter]

This video was expertly paced. The whole time I was thinking, "this ride actually sounds really cool, it can't be that bad, right?" And then the reveal of what the ride ended up actually looking like...

[@Danomight]

The pacing of this channel's content is truly what makes it special imo.

[@shainecorwin8709]

The Legoland ride is the exact thing the SeaWorld ride promised to be, including an eye spy minigame on screens that's almost identical to the one in the SeaWorld ride. The whole ride is the best kind of plagiarism

[@rockettbennett]

@@Danomight Yea that’s why it’s one of my favorite KZbin channels!

[@teal_panda_84]

@@shainecorwin8709 plus real sea creatures. So innovative 😆

[@katherinesmallbean3594]

I am shocked they didn't have some sort of blue screen or tent over the outdoor sections to give it all a blue shade. It would've looked dumb on the outside, but still!

[@kyogrefan2648]

Funny how the company that focuses on selling small pieces of plastic ended up doing a better ocean themed dark ride than the ocean themed company

[@dakotahrickard]

Well, I mean, current trends suggest the ocean IS small pieces of plastic at this point, so there's sort of a common denominator there. ;)

[@feribaddie]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH HOLY FUCK THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST COMMENTS IVE EVER SEEN IVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10 MINUTES

[@shainecorwin8709]

Fun fact: the aquarium connected to Legoland that makes the ride possible is a fucking amazing aquarium. Despite being very clearly aimed at kids with a scavenger hunt element and talking fish mascots on low quality TV screens, the aquarium features some of the most incredible design I've ever seen. It's small but features a winding, intestinal pathway giving you many great angles of the best tanks. Also it's run by an animal rescue nonprofit so all the profit from merchandise and ticket sales go back into rescuing and rehabilitating a lot of the sealife (and other animals too, when I went they had a snake they were using as an animal ambassador as well and talked about rescuing all sorts of animals because nobody else could) there and then releasing them if they can be released. I went in pessimistic, just expecting a tacky dimly lit look at some small sharks in inhumane condition, but honestly it's just absurd to me how much better of an aquarium Legoland is than SeaWorld lol

[@shainecorwin8709]

god i sound like im trying to sell it to you, i just really really like that aquarium

[@neutronicsha]

@@shainecorwin8709 pfahaha, no don't worry, that's really cool! :D thank you for letting us know, i was actually genuinely interested so i appreciate it!

[@be_epbop]

I love how Kevin is always riding the lines between documentary, storytelling and shitposting

[@aburnoutfailurewithsomemem3085]

And damn he does it perfectly

[@be_epbop]

@None None because it's entertaining? I don't live my life hating the world?

[@thejonguy3248]

A powerful rat named CHALES ENTERTAINMENT CHEESE.

[@Davidpoland2005]

didnt see any shitpost, also 6:09 fortnite harpoon gun

[@TheGoblinPrince]

@@thejonguy3248 hehe.... chales

[@ZessXXify]

I think the weirdest thing about the added game feature is that it would have you looking down and away from all the sights that the ride featured. Seems like a lot of the budget went into something that could have been a stationary activity.

[@KingOfElectricNinjas]

And all of that into what basically ended up as a shitty video game. It feels like something where they spent tons of money and time reinventing the wheel when an actual video game developer coulda farted it out in couple of months, and would probably actually listen to playtester feedback.

[@catscanhavelittleasalami]

It's like they were embarrassed and tried to distract people with a screen.

[@maxcapron4656]

I worked at electric eel over the summer, and at one of the positions they had us work (grouper) you could see the deteriorating remnants of this ride. One time a guy asked me where the ride was and when I told him it was closed, he said, “good, it sucked.”

[@Opalstarrr]

LMAO

[@MovieFan1912]

Man, when even the workers at the park consider it to be a failure, you know SeaWorld done goofed.

[@ChiefScarneck]

Kevin's deadpan delivery is priceless. "Deep. Blue. Blinding Sunlight."

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

"EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeels."

[@cicifuentes5685]

"Dozens of guests who had waited minutes for the land's opening casually walked inside..."

[@gravymakes]

“WOOOOO EEEEEEEELSSS”

[@rhino202]

"Dozens of fans who had waited minutes"

[@MrTigroz]

Can you imagine waiting 2 hours and 10 minutes for “Eeeels.”

[@alexah3256]

Seriously. Those things looked like tapeworms in teal.

[@liuuuuuuu]

@@alexah3256 Teeeeeeals

[@0v_x0]

Findin' an entrance where they can. Eels. 🎹

[@skipthefox4858]

@@alexah3256 tappppeeeeewwwwwoooorrrrmmmmssss

[@lunahetfield]

nobody nose loool

[@Frenchylikeshikes]

I remember going to Sea World in 2016. Saw that huge orca in what seems like a gigantic aquarium to us, but is merely a pond to him (or her). The tank was completely empty. Nothing in it to even try to decorate, just blue walls. No rocks, toys, plants (even fake) or whatnot. And the orca just endlesly swimming in circles from one end to the other. I swore to myself that day I would never ever give any money back to Seaworld, and I'm planning on fulfilling that pledge.

[@gator9339]

I remember going to Sea World on a school field trip in 2004. We got to spend the night and sleep inside the Shark exhibit. At the time I thought it was pretty cool but now looking back I feel bad for those poor Sharks being in that little enclosure, and also they made us dissect a baby squid and pull out it's ink sack. One cool thing about that trip was that I got to ride on "Journey To Atlantis" a week before it officially opened to the public. I haven't been to Sea World since and I probably won't be going back anytime soon.

[@andysee6996]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure all of SeaWorld's orcas are gone by this point.

[@eldritchermy]

i used to go to seaworld almost all the time in the summer when i was a little kid and looking back on the memories, it seems like the set for a horror movie. just IMAGINING the animals swimming or walking lazily and miserably gives me goosebumps. thank god we stopped going.

[@gotgunpowder]

"I think orcas require the same level of enrichment as human children, because I am a braindead bleeding heart who is vulnerable to emotional manipulation by CNN smear pieces and don't bother to do any actual research before I boycott things" Utter clownery.

[@crazyfire9470]

@The French on the hill “relax, take a deep breath”

[@toximan2008]

It's like that episode of Ed, Edd, n Eddy where they build a fake rocket ride for the neighborhood kids that "goes around the world," only to have the Eds on the sidelines showing terribly-drawn landscapes on a sideways treadmill

[@IsmailofeRegime]

That would have probably been a superior experience to this.

[@ihvojd]

Atleast the Ed’s are a bunch of kids with whatever they had around the neighborhood and it’s impressive. This is a theme park with billions on hand. Idk what there’s excuse.

[@gabe_s_videos]

The funniest part is that was based on an actual amusement park ride (I think Kevin talked about it in his Coney Island episode).

[@OwnFall420]

@@ihvojd There’s no excuse

[@Nawimgood21]

Best comment. But at least the edds would have charged only 50 cents for the ride

[@gtlance101]

"The first show scene is supposed to show the twilight zone, a place so deep that no sunlight can reach it. SeaWorld of course decided to represent this with a coral reef in broad daylight with screens occasionally displaying an octopus"

[@evamiller4886]

This is especially bizarre because coral reefs need sunlight to survive. Doing the coral as an outside set piece like that could work on it’s own, but turning around and claiming it’s the twilight zone?! So much for teaching kids marine biology

[@Mxmusicaddict]

@@evamiller4886 I taught better marine biology by screaming obscenities while extracting small, angry crabs from a little tank behind the children's learning lab at the true lord of the dance of San Diego aquariums: Birch Aquarium at Scripps.

[@bigmouth1011]

@@Mxmusicaddict I really appreciate this description of Scripps. Thank you.

[@Daedwartin2]

@@evamiller4886 Actually, there is actually coral reefs going into the abyssal zone, known as deep-water coral. So having coral in the twilight zone(Which BTW is defined as starting at the depth where only 1% of sunlight penetrates and ends at the point where no sunlight penetrates, meaning it isnt actually a place no sunlight reaches) is perfectly valid. However, they are 1: rarely that viberant and 2: not in broad daylight usually.

[@evamiller4886]

@@Daedwartin2 Wow, that’s amazing! I had no idea. Although I don’t think the exhibit does a good job of conveying that idea either, even though it could be a way to get other adults interested and learning too...

[@thisisacallforhelp3484]

The sudden shift in music as the ride is revealed to be almost entirely above ground in sunlight. Magnificent.

[@justanotherperson7774]

Your profile pic is magnificent

[@MachineD3vil]

Epic music and then, womp womp

[@TheRenofox]

That was my favorite part too.

[@ChrisDelChris]

I never thought I could get secondhand embarrassment from a theme park ride but here we are.

[@starzzzy22]

I know the title said this was a bad ride, but even I didn't expect it to be that bad. All they had to do was make this a dark ride in a dark tunnel or something. That would have solved 1/4 of the problem.

[@rolando90s]

Smart move

[@bruhsauce644]

dark ride in a dark tunnel? more like a bright ride in the fucking sunlight

[@oneghost1257]

Love the sense of comedic timing that guy taking the ride video has. "PUSH THE BLUE BUTTON TO OPEN THE HATCH!"

[@boarder6246]

The last lines before the credits had me laughing too x] Also the water cannon that just sprayed the person in the front left of every sub was hilarious x]

[@alexdasliebe5391]

@12:20

[@dharmallars]

Also something about how he gives a scathing criticism of the ride without ruining it for the kid he’s with is so cute

[@boarder6246]

@@dharmallars That was truly masterful!

[@SquirrelASMR]

He didn't have a choice the door opened that fkn fast, that's probably how it goes for all riders.

[@BreakingPintMedia]

The ride reminds me of something a creative grandpa would build around his backyard using scrap parts over the course of 2 decades in the hopes of earning a small mention of it in the local newspaper someday.

[@mrlaz9011]

At least it would have the excuse of being the passion project of a single person. A multimillion dollar corporation somehow thought this was enough.

[@martz8342]

this is such a specific yet accurate insult 😭

[@wildwomanofthewoods]

boomer heaven...

[@Nobody-zl3kk]

@@mrlaz9011 funnily enough it is an insult while saying something really wholesome, imagine how much of a failure something has to be for a wholesome scenario to be used as an insult!

[@mrlaz9011]

@@Nobody-zl3kk that's the true magic of submarine quest!

[@giogarcia7623]

Thats so wild! I WORKED THERE at the Skytower at Seaworld San Diego from 2017-2019 during the entire building, testing, and subsequent constant breakdowns and eventual shutdown of that god forsaken ride. I remember the day the ride opened up and they let employees be the first to test the ride and it only was operational maybe 1, 1.5 hours. Also the stories the mechanics told about the lawsuit and accident were INSANE!

[@giogarcia7623]

I know I am very late to the party here, but I can attest as a former employee that there was DEFINITELY some form of injury that was the final nail in the coffin for Submarine Quest. I only have my personal memory and my talks with the company mechanics and the photos they may or may have not have taken of damage to the cars.

[@namasteavl]

So what happened?

[@LMGVids]

This is by far the greatest dark ride ever built, thanks for making a great video, Kevin!

[@Lpkiwi]

This is the best dark ride ive ever been on the touch screen barely worked! It was all part of the great experience 10/10

[@purplegill10]

Oh hey, you're the guys in the vid

[@MrReganomics1]

*Disaster transport looks at this post judgingly*

[@amandagrace31]

“Guests began their journey into the deep, blue... blinding sunlight.” *im deadddd* 🤣🤣🤣

[@Fr0styEmper0r]

"The twilight zone is so deep that the sun can't pass through...Of course, the ride represents this in broad daylight."

[@samueld8413]

And it was perfectly in sync with the ride footage

[@Xmetalfanx]

the sarcasm was strong in this video lol

[@CalmClamFam]

11:09 Here’s a time stamp of it

[@signodeinterrogacion8361]

@@Fr0styEmper0r Later on, guess saw EEEEAAALS

[@_Matsimus_]

The narrators voice is purely amazing lol. He sounds sarcastic even though at times he doesn’t mean to be. It’s perfect for this video lol

[@T-h-a-t_G-u-y]

What a minute what are you doing here

[@lucasfragoso7634]

Ahh I see papa mat is a fan of defunct land

[@angelical5386]

"in epic fashion" killed me lmaooo

[@angelical5386]

& they even got a bubble guy!!!

[@Isarai1705]

He always means it

[@Nobody-zl3kk]

Sea World perfectly recreated Mr.Krabs kids playground from that one episode, you know the one.

[@sharkinator7819]

Krabby Land to be exact

[@Ecstacy333]

@@sharkinator7819 thank you for mentioning it, i remember watching it forever ago and sometimes it would come up in my mind but i never knew what it was called

[@Mushy_240]

SeaWorld really hit us with the “ I don’t care about the backlash, I just care about distracting the public “

[@e5858]

In Japanese, there is a term, “Kodomo-damashi”, which refers to badly made entertainment or illusions. It literally means “child-fooler (or child-fooling), and this seems perfect here.

[@beavis2678]

Weeb

[@e5858]

@@beavis2678 No, I’m just Japanese

[@lqu]

@@e5858 Weeb

[@thejman5683]

@E Kinda reminds me of the phrase Kuso-Ge which literally means “Shit Game”

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

After this ride opened, everyone was saying "Omae wa mou shindeiru" which means "You are already dead"

[@TELMEman]

Y'know, when Kevin said "This scene is supposed to be in the Twilight Zone," for a split second I didn't realize it was actual terminology for that part of the deeper ocean and legit thought he was sarcastically remarking that riders have crossed over into Rod Serling's Twilight Zone.

[@Grace-ir8er]

_Kevin Perjurer, a documentarian of the defunct, caught in a world of reused ice show props and bubble guys meant to distract from the atrocities committed by a park stained with the blood of captive beasts. Like the others locked into the ride vehicles embarking on a quest into the world of the submarine, he is paralyzed with mortal fear. But it isn't the possibility of encountering one of the creatures of the deep that has him unable to move. It's the blinding bright nature of the paradox inherent to this seeming world of darkness that holds him in the brilliant light of terror, a total contradiction of a ride's intent and it's course of construction that could only be found in...The Twilight Zone."_

[@HallowsAuto]

I absolutely lost it when the guy pressed the blue button to open up the hatch a full 5 seconds after it opened.

[@zaklewis7619]

I feel bad for Bubble Guy, the opening was supposed to be his big break, now its a dark mark on his record.

[@Codraroll]

Quick reminder that this ride debuted almost half a year *after* Defunctland did. It's like the channel has come full circle, reporting on the demise of rides that hadn't even opened when the channel began broadcasting. Then again, given the nature of some of the attractions featured here, I guess this is to be expected.

[@Aedrion-]

"It was meant for children." Let me interject here briefly to say 'Fuck that' to that statement. 'For kids' shouldn't translate to 'it's crap with distractions'. As a kid, I loved real immersive rides, that went balls deep into the theme. That underwater ride at Legoland is the perfect example. But because kids' standards are lower due to them not having seen a lot yet, guys like that think it's okay to do the bare minimum to keep them for being downright bored. Should have sent him deep sea exploring with a brick around his ankle. XD

[@AcesnEights698]

Yup. Kids know a shite ride when they see one. Slug around on a goofy car, stare at a few screens while pounding on an iPad? Oh boy, sign my six year old self up!

[@Anonymous58815]

"It's A Small World" is meant for kids and it's still a joy to ride after all these years

[@mrlaz9011]

Walt Disney would have slapped him in the face for saying that shite.

[@Shoxic666]

Yes! This excuse if "it's made for kids" is why we have a generation of intellectually stunted, unimaginative, drooling trend sheep for kids. Everything of quality is kept from them.

[@N94able]

Just to throw another point in there. Kids have fortnite on their phones. They don't care about your app game/theme park ride. Its not a selling point in any way shape or form.

[@EzraM5]

Well, that was definitely one of the sadder stories Defunctland has talked about. Like, not tearing up sad, but like, the kind of sad where you see someone not having a great day in not the best way, and you can only just smile nervously and leave quickly.

[@Undrave]

Feel bad for the Meet the Deep crew having to hype this thing up with all their heart.

[@foxyfoxington2651]

The kind of sad that comes with a bubble guy.

[@ThePondermatic]

This was several people's genuine best effort. And in return, their careers were ruined. That just, ugh. It feels awful.

[@eatatjoe]

The fact that SeaWorld closes at 9 and the illusion of being underwater only works *AT NIGHT,* really kills it for me.

[@Ratchetonater]

@@ThePondermatic “So, can you explain this 16 month gap in your resume?” “Uhhh.. sabbatical.”

[@fabiolagarcia1308]

The sheer monotone voice laid with occasional sarcasm just makes this perfection.

[@BoxOKittens]

11:09 I laughed way too hard at that. So anticlimactic. A shift from the cool deep sea theme to blinding sunlight and concrete. It would be sad if I wasn't so busy laughing.

[@KathySage234]

l.m.a.o

[@Pneumonia-Nakey]

It was more of a mental and physical flashbang

[@celldh0825]

Imagine geting Taiyokened on a goddamn dark ride lmfao

[@BaileyVogtOut]

The inspirational music followed by the dodo music really brought the whole moment home. Hilarious

[@broadwaybrook2319]

"Into the majesty of the deep, blue,...BLINDING SUNLIGHT." My favorite line. "Neither sub nor marine." I can't believe this ride even existed. It couldn't go for the effect like the Submarine Ride in Disneyland. A shame that all that work (even if it was lousy work) was put into nothing

[@steve293]

Simple: they hired the wrong manufacturer (Chance Rides) with zero experience in innovative rides. That company makes rides you typically see at a county fair. Asking them to make a truly immersive experience is like asking WalMart to create a boutique shop. EDIT: I'd also like to add it's not coincidence Chance Rides was picked while Manby was CEO. Considering your standard amusement park rides offered at Herschend amusement parks (i.e. Dollywood) I'm sure his relationship with them started there.

[@XanthinZarda]

My first thought was, "Dollywood? You mean forgotten has been entertainer Dolly Parton?" To which it turns out, yep! And she's aged about as well as someone who went to the botox clinic. I know Tennessee is hard pressed for a cultural identity outside of singers, but _c'mon._

[@Canalan08]

@@XanthinZarda I mean, Dollywood's actually a good amusement park and Dolly Parton does all sorts of charity efforts. Don't know why you're ripping on her.

[@JohnnyDeppLoveSickne]

Um Dolly Parton is amazing and an incredible person. Also Dollywood is fun. She’s hardly a has been.

[@kevinsymonds2123]

Although that would presume that Seaworld had absolutely no input in the design etc. Which we know is not the case. They can only design and make what is asked for.

[@RobertAshburn]

Honestly I didn't even know chance did modern dark rides... probably why it cost so much. imagine if they went ahead and built the orlando jeep one... ouch. then again we have our penguin pucks closed.

[@AH-be6bu]

I can't imagine a more horrible submarine experience than this.

[@BobPagani]

Are you absolutely sure about that?

[@twizzm.]

Yeah your comment didn't age well with that titanic sub happening a week later lol

[@vanapotamus6348]

This comment aged well

[@JackgarPrime]

I can imagine at least one...

[@heirofaniu]

@@twizzm.That was mercifully short.

[@AlexYadaYada]

How the hell does a Lego theme park do a better submarine ride than a theme park that prides itself as an ocean conservation company?

[@Abyssinian121]

Money. Lots and lots of money, better engineers and better project management. Also, maybe looking at nearby failures of a similar concept and doing the opposite.

[@KingHarambe_RIP]

I’m guessing Legoland actually had many more resources to pull this off since Lego as a company wasn’t hemorrhaging money and goodwill at the time. It also helps that they could have made some adjustments late in development based on Submarine Quest which opened a year earlier but construction was probably underway before SQ opened.

[@staringcorgi6475]

They could've made a submarine ride and call it a day

[@TheSolarWolf]

Because Legoland is a far bigger and more renown park then Sea World

[@lttree8698]

@@TheSolarWolf in the theme park world no, but the company and capital behind the park (lego) is a lot larger and more powerful

[@graytlo]

It is quite sad, as the idea of turning SeaWorld into a more ride-oriented park was not a bad idea. Just horribly demonstrated

[@ReverendTed]

Compelling attractions are expensive propositions, which is a difficult hill to climb when your company is in dire straits. Can't really even count on corporate sponsorships when you have a very public image problem.

[@MacenW]

I agree, the one time I went to SeaWorld for a school field trip everyone in my group we're too scared of going on actual rides, so we just saw animal shows, and it was the worst theme park experience of my life. The food was good

[@galahad6300]

There are more good ideas than bad ones. Its just not often enough that the people with the power to execute these ideas manage to succeed.

[@TomDufall]

It's also a shame as there were some good components but the overall experience was just too fundamentally flawed. I agree with their decision that combining screen-focus and fast rollercoasters isn't a good idea (motion sickness, competing for attention, etc), but I think I would have gone for some kind of capsule with video screens and tilt control, like a plane simulator or, if possible, some hybrid of that that also enables seeing some actual sea life. As this video pointed out, bright sunshine was never going to make for an immersive (and screen-driven) experience and fixing that would require putting the whole thing at a box, and even that might not give enough content to make the ride good.

[@nick1635]

The CEO had the right idea to turn Sea World from an outdated animal prison into a theme park with rides. SeaWorld has to re-invent itself for modern times.

[@alexbobroff]

I had the great misfortune of riding this a few years back. I am very glad that it received a proper post-mortem from you lol.

[@urbplay]

Well that ended up well

[@Mxmusicaddict]

I moved about fifteen miles inland in 2015 so wasn't even aware this existed in San Diego until now. Apparently that's how bad it was.

[@Rivercoon]

A proper post-mortem would have included high explosives.

[@thegeek0017]

This has to be one of the funniest episodes of Defunctland

[@thegeek0017]

12:50

[@malxredleader]

I love how in this episode you can just hear in Kevin’s disdain growing like a slowly erupting volcano

[@Undrave]

If you hide the title and show someone (who doesn't know SeaWorld) the first ten minute or so, they would feel the giant 'BUT!', like a metaphorical sword of damoclese, just hanging over the whole thing due to Kevin's dry sarcasm. Like ,things seem to be going well, but you can't wait to see how they messed it up...

[@harrywithanh]

What's interesting is that a version of the Lego submarine ride actually had a version at Legoland Windsor in the UK that opened in 2011, so Seaworld literally had NO excuse when they had a perfect example right there

[@willausterman3104]

Not to mention Tokyo DisneySea's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2001), Disneyland's Submarine Voyage (1959), and The Magic Kingdom's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Submarine Voyage (1971) had all been very popular with guests as well as being excellent executions of a submarine dark ride. There were so many great examples of how to do it, dating back over half a century even, and they still screwed it up!

[@stevenstice6683]

@@willausterman3104 And the Disney parks used real submarines on their rides. They had the tenth largest submarine fleet during the Cold War.

[@Sinstarclair]

@@stevenstice6683 still baffles me how Disney and Pepsi had bigger Fleets than Actual Nations

[@khyronbradford]

That Lego submarine ride in Windsor is amazing and still holds up!

[@rjd1922]

@@stevenstice6683 Technically the Submarine Voyage "submarines" are just boats with the riders below the water level.

[@zfalcon44]

I love that you highlighted the kid on the rendering and gave it a second to sink in. Another classic example of a well-timed personal touch of humor in a comprehensive documentary about a defunct attraction.

[@mindyschocolate]

I made a comment just for that kid. I also appreciated the humor.

[@nubzors]

Who is that kid? He never seemed to address it afterwards.

[@RikFTK]

@@nubzors He was talking about the kid's facial expression of utter confusion.

[@CuteCuteJames]

@@RikFTK Thank you, I was also confused.

[@stevenarvizu3602]

“Dozens of guests who had waited for minutes causally walked inside” Most brutal take down in one sentence I’ve ever seen

[@SalivatingSteve]

12:30 they literally just slapped up 6 flat screen TVs. It looks like the TV wall at an electronics store lol.

[@gonzoengineering4894]

They look unsynced to boot

[@MovieEggman]

Thought I was looking at the TVs section at a Best Buy with the store’s lights turned off.

[@lornsumm3249]

Seeing the previous parts of the ride, I'm just glad they didn't use a car store floaty

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

14:41 "ExCiTeMeNt OvErLoAd!!!"

[@jaymarcase9737]

@@lornsumm3249 hahahahaha

[@quintinflower1317]

"this was only a problem when the ride was operating, which it frequently was not" honestly that sounds like a good thing at this point

[@missybarbour6885]

Clearly, since they decided it was better off closed lol

[@Cho_Random]

The entertainment industry seems to forget that children aren't the ones who put money in their wallets. That's ultimately up to the parent. I feel that is one of the biggest reasons why Ocean Explorer recieved very mixed reviews. Most of the attractions seemed to appeal more to kids and giving the parents nothing to enjoy their already expensive trip to Sea World.

[@StarlightPrism]

Still, parents are willing to pay if the kids enjoy the experience enough, even if the parents themselves don't. For the parent, it's more about spending time with the kid. I'm guessing the ride wasn't very engaging even to children.

[@BDNeon]

@@StarlightPrism At the very least, it shouldn't make the parent miserable. A slow haul through the hot outside air with minimal shade and NOTHING that's remotely entertaining to you? That's a recipe for misery.

[@lilpicnicattac9207]

@@StarlightPrism yeah but since there’s already options for both the kid and parents to have fun at places like Disney or sixflags, Hershey kingdom , etc why the hell would they come here

[@westrim]

I mean, there was the beer.

[@mrn234]

Even as a 6 year old i would have asked what this kind of bullshit is.

[@DarkOmegaMK2]

They should've sold T-Shirts at the end of the ride that said: "Yes, I boarded Submarine Quest! Yes, i was very disappointed!"

[@elvastan]

"I rode Submarine Quest and all I got was this stupid shirt"

[@allebaba1966]

The California coastal commission approving The Blue World project, but only on the condition that they end their orca breeding programs, is the most fucking baller move they basically forced their hand even when Seaworld pulled out

[@mrodriguez16ks]

At least Sea World knows when they have a bad ride on their hands. Universal is gonna have that Fast and the Furious ride for another 15 years.

[@chazzwozzio]

God help us all

[@shinyagumon7015]

What you don't like screens and reused footage from a bus tour?

[@thedrewster0408]

Turn down for what *insert ride vehicle appearing in the queue.

[@MysteryMii]

They should just shutdown the ride part and just keep the queue open for tours.

[@badtriceratops1867]

“ride”

[@Someguyhere111]

Sea World: "It will not be a shoot-'em-up dark ride." The one grizzled fisherman who retired years ago: "Ye've raised me hopes, and dashed 'em quite expertly!"

[@CowboyLuigi]

Such an injustice! SeaWorld ought to cater to our retired grizzled fishermen, too! I, for one, advocate for a shoot-'em-up dark ride, aptly named "The Ocean Hunter," which may or may not be inspired by an arcade game of the same name.

[@stevenstice6683]

Aye. Me hopes and dreams were dashed. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at them.

[@hamishstewart5324]

I see that sea world truly cares about conservation. Let’s go protect these wonderful creatures by blowing their brains out with powerful assault weapons.

[@ethanedwards5294]

The failure of the Submarine Quest is actually quite simple... It's a submarine theme ride in the air.

[@everett6072]

Submarine quest was neither sub, marine, nor a quest.

[@Cenentury0941]

Next they'll make a Hindenberg ride under-water.

[@The_Greedy_Orphan]

I wouldn't say its the worst submarine adventure ever though....

[@ethanedwards5294]

@The_Greedy_Orphan oh I know it isn't...

[@Roozyj]

The only way to make a submarine ride in the air make sense is if you give it some kind of fantasy theme and let people look at fairies or aliens or a steampunk themed airship dock.

[@anthoollio6869]

this seemed like the kind of ride that would break families up after their kids begged to wait in line and dad got mad, so their family vacation was cancelled early.

[@Mxmusicaddict]

That's it! Back to Winnipeg!!

[@TwoMarshmallows1]

@@Mxmusicaddict lmao

[@jalapeno1119]

Too real

[@Saint_Magnapinna]

What did I FUCKING tell you Susan? I knew he was gonna fucking hate it! now hes fucking crying all the way back!

[@gracehaven5459]

@@Saint_Magnapinna ooof as someone with a mom named Susan whose parents would fight alot I felt that lmao!

[@ravendevino6419]

I feel it's really sad and telling that "improve animal welfare" was the SECOND option in response to a documentary exposing animal abuse at SeaWorld.

[@timothymclean]

It's cheaper to unleash a salvo of PR strikes than to actually fix problems.

[@AbsolXGuardian]

Well yeah if they actually cared about animal welfare, they wouldn't be an *amusement park*, they'd be a zoo/aquarium that provides a home for animals that wouldn't survive in the wild- either mentally or physically- or are part of captive breeding programs. Then they do animal shows to help fund the venture and provide enrichment to their residents. If the leadership of SeaWorld ever actually cared about the animals, Blackfin never would have needed to expose them. The only way SeaWorld would change their tune would be through a forceful change in leadership, replacing them with people from the actual zoo industry.

[@jojoprocess2820]

Haven't watched the documentary but I can imagine they exaggerated lots of shit or just straight up made up most of it, people get completely riled up when you clip a dog's ears so can't imagine how much bullshit was spouted in the documentary so I don't exactly blame them.

[@johnny_joestar_toenail2548]

@@jojoprocess2820 5 people died it's not "made up"

[@ravendevino6419]

@@jojoprocess2820 Well yeah, cause clipping a dog's ears is needless animal abuse in most cases.

[@shayla4007]

“wow.. look at this genuinely unique experience that cannot be replicated” said sarcastically by a clearly very bored parent pretty much sums up the ride

[@matthewbowen5841]

There was, briefly, no more expensive way to sit your kids in an abnormally slow golf cart and have them play with an iPad.

[@andrew3606]

@@matthewbowen5841 It would've been cheaper to buy an actual golf cart and ipad than buy seaworld tickets I'm sure

[@killerkitten7534]

The reveal hit me like a brick covered in lemon juice. Up to that point I thought “wait, it’s underwater and goes by animals. That sounds incredible. How could it go wrong?” Oh how naive I was…

[@MatecaCorp]

I was living near SeaWorld at the time of this disaster, and it was beautiful to watch it unfold. That said, the worst thing about the whole debacle was that this garbage ride stole funds that would otherwise have been used to greatly improve the quality of life of animals trapped in a horrible situation.

[@StarlightPrism]

It's highly likely that the Blue World expansion wasn't going to happen regardless.

[@KillerOrca]

@@StarlightPrism Fits SeaWorlds overall thought process. Bottom line, yeah?

[@emmaobrien1376]

@@KillerOrca Hey now, SeaWorld donates an entire 1-5% of their profits to conservation activities. They *clearly* care about wildlife!

[@gibbcharron3469]

@@emmaobrien1376 Except for the wildlife in their parks, apparently.

[@CZsWorld]

Submarine Quest walked so Iron Gwazi could... not open.

[@_congrats]

Someone I know was just there and got to see it...sit.

[@Naiobia]

Hol up they STILL haven't opened it?

[@snackboxone364]

*excuse me wdym they still haven’t opened the ride?*

[@fo-ef8qo]

RMC gonna repo Iron Gwazi and Intamin gonna repo Pantheon lol

[@joshs2734]

Not quite related but, it's awesome that, in the end, Blackfish was actually successful at shutting down the orca program. Also, couldn't they have put the ride in a tunnel? At least then it'd be dark like you were underwater. Nothing makes me feel like I'm deep under the ocean's surface, surrounded by water and under heavy pressure like....being out in the air under hot, blinding sunlight.

[@kevinbhieey9188]

While Blackfish played fast and loose with a lot of facts - as well as apparently lying to the trainers, and editing their interviews so they appeared to support the documentary's agenda - it did directly result in stopping the horrid breeding program at SeaWorld. Unfortunately, it also helped turn this ride into a shell of its original idea, as well as making sure all SeaWorld parks wouldn't have the money to give these animals better living conditions, at least not if they wanted to remain in business. So... yay?

[@Jeremy_the_unfallible_n-a]

every seal begs to differ..

[@Jeremy_the_unfallible_n-a]

@@kevinbhieey9188 ikr even the name of their fiIm utilizes human raciaI tensions 😂

[@jadedheartsz]

Blackfish was full of lies and it sucked

[@lot110]

@@kevinbhieey9188 Animals are not play things.They should have never been caged period!!

[@Vince__]

“Up to this point, SeaWorld’s main response to the outcry had been to attack the documentary, the filmmakers, and the interviewees, but this only made matters worse, so the company pivoted to improving the living conditions of its orcas.” You don’t say, huh?

[@thatswhatshesaid2777]

That's honestly the worst thing about this whole fiasco other than the ride being poorly made. They went with THAT over actually trying to fix the Orca's life.

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

And they failed at that, too

[@possracc]

and then they didn’t even actually do it.