Dennis Regan - Comedian -Second-String Theory - Football

Dennis Regan talks about his high school football experiences in this episode of That Darn Dennis.

[@jamesmay2631]

Always like your stories. I can see what you are saying. Reminds me of early Bill Cosby and his football story. Great storytellers are very enjoyable. Thanks~

[@DennisReganComedy]

Wow. That's high praise. Thanks.

[@davidcochran6291]

@@DennisReganComedy your story reminds me of my short-lived football career. So as a freshman I wanted to play football on the school team. First let me say that up to High School I had tried to make a Pop Warner football team but I was always too small for my age and weight to be able to play. However that all changed in High School because there were no restrictions. Still at 4'9" tall and 68 lbs. I didn't cut a very intimidating figure out on the field. Getting a uniform to fit me was another problem. The only helmet that would fit me was the smallest helmet fitted all around inside with 1" thick leather pads. It had been purchased as a joke or as gift for the coaches six year old son who loved being with his dad on the sidelines. Then there was the jersey which is supposed to be short-sleeved. Not mine even the smallest they had ended up being a long-sleeved. Then the pads well you can imagine. The only reason the pads stayed on my shoulders was because of the jersey. The piece of resistance to this wardrobe, the pants. The shortest pair of uni pants....you know the rounded part at the bottom of leg that was supposed to end at the bottom of my knee, ended at the top of my ankles. To top this whole business off was explained in the old saying, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". I got in one game as a defensive back which highlighted my one small talent. On the other teams third play I outran their wide-receiver to the end zone. I didn't seem to be able to pull the trigger on cutting off the wide receiver and trying to make the tackle on the receiver who stood 5'8" tall and weighed 160lbs and was yelling at me I will f*%k you up if you try to tackle me. When we got to the end zone he looked at me and said, "hey cousin, when did you get to be so fast?" It was then I recognized that the other player was my cousin Mike. He then said, "I wouldn't have yelled at you if I knew it was you". To which I said, "well now you know why I was running that fast"!! We both laughed at that. My coach didn't appreciate my reasoning about not tackling my opponent. Well the next week I was playing half-back in practice and on a delayed pitch to me going right as I turned up field I was met by our 2nd string outside linebacker who you would have described as 'country strong' well my impressive 4'9" 68 lbs. ran face to somewhere below his face and his 178 lbs. at full throttle. When I came to, my coach was yelling at the linebacker saying, 'you know how small he is, couldn't you have slowed down and just caught him"? It took a couple seconds for him to understand what the coach was saying, they said you could see the bulb in his head actually come on. They carried me off the practice field and being this was my third time being knocked out that season, coach and I decided I should maybe try again next year. That brought to a conclusion my football career. I graduated High School at 5'2.75" and 110 lbs. I am 72 and still waiting for that promised growth spurt. Mine was more like a growth dribble.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Great stuff, David. I love how you dealt with your smaller stature. You have a toughness of spirit that few people have.

[@davidcochran6291]

@@DennisReganComedy thanks for taking time from what has to be a busy schedule to write your note. I started out following your brother and then I saw your double comedy program and fell in love with your timing and delivery. When you talked about staring out the window and then being brought out of your reverie by the teacher asking you a question. Reminded me of myself in elementary school. Then the Peloponnesian people won the Peloponnesian War is a classic underachiever answer. I'll quit now because I'm afraid you'll think I'm some sort of stalker instead of the 72 year old house bound curmudgeon I am. Keep up the fun.

[@jamescox6376]

You are one of the best comedians out there. Your brother also. How weird must your family life have been to produce two very funny people. Thank you, Glarbsttentenford!!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, JC.

[@DennisReganComedy]

I accidentally deleted this episode when it had 28 views. So, however many million views it has... please add 28.

[@mysnellvilleblog]

That Darn Dennis Duly noted! Everyone should be forced, possibly by law, to reply here in order to confirm they have read and understood your instruction.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Agreed. 🤓

[@monkeychicken27]

Just laughed so hard at this comment my ribs hurt. Haven’t even seen the video fully.

[@YeshuaWon]

+28 Thank you for another belly laugh!

[@apove1814]

😂😂😂

[@garymcaleer6112]

"Blew my knee out in Kindergarten." Classic Dennis. He's the master of surprise jokes.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thank you. 🤓

[@ricardofranciszayas]

Dennis, you’re a genius. I saw your standup on DryBar and your rhythm, technique and writing are astonishing. Thank you for your brilliance.

[@DennisReganComedy]

You are very kind and generous with your praise. Thank you , Ricardo!

[@Spitfireseven]

We all contribute to the team one way or another. Like they say, it's a team effort.

[@hepgeoff]

Love your comedy! You and your brother Brian are our all time favorite comedians! Saw you and your brother perform live in Costa Mesa, CA a few years ago, and it was non-stop LOL all night!

[@DennisReganComedy]

That’s nice to hear. Thanks, Geoff.

[@wsearp]

You should have worn a helmet when you played high school football....LOL.... Love your humor and the humor your brother shares with us as well....

[@tr6725]

WOW.....LOL 🤣🤣🤣! You literally had me crying 😂! That was the funniest football story outside of that Snickers commercial when the quarterback got hit on the field and after he woke up, thought he was Batman!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, TR.

[@janbrachat1345]

Great Story. I'm torn between beleiving every word and "no way, that's impossible. They wouldn't do that." Also. I can really dig your deadpan delivery in "King of Stupid Questions" and "When you're not the smart kid at school". Wished there was more material (DVD, Netflix etc.). Keep it up.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Jan, Thanks for watching and for your very nice comments.

[@MrWally430]

Dennis. I have no idea how I missed this one. It had everyone in stitches. I love the tombstone. Lmao. Wally

[@societyofsin]

You deserve many more subscribers. Great stuff

[@JustAboutAnything66]

Reminds me of my days playing elementary school basketball. But I didn't mind sitting on the bench so much. The school didn't have enough uniforms so my parents had to buy mine. I wore a pair of green silk Everlast boxing shorts and a New York Jets half sleeve jersy.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Awww... sweet.

[@NotFromConcentrate]

Your channel is pure gold. Keep it up man!

[@SSHS78]

I'm just getting caught up on these and really enjoying them. I look forward to future installments.

[@DennisReganComedy]

SSHS78 Thank you. I appreciate the support. There is much more to come.

[@gareth2250]

Please keep these coming!

[@kingdom2472]

By any metric 'failed in kindergarten' is an all time classic and among so many of his stories that arefavourites. .I'm more impressed that Dennis actually responds to the fans here. The football story reminds me of my son and his high school and small college football coaches..absolute morons...my son broke his foot being tackled in college and the equipment manager was the only one who came to see him in the hospital... 'too busy'

[@DennisReganComedy]

I guess I have to respond to this. Lol. Thanks for the compliment, K2.

[@maureeno9382]

Perfect visual aids. I was crying by the end of this. The headstone!

[@DennisReganComedy]

I’m glad you liked it, M.O. Thanks for watching... and commenting.

[@PhaseConverterampV]

McClintock sounds like you real stud. It’s not your fault D, at least your helmet got to play.

[@garymcaleer6112]

Hey, Dennis. I just came back to you once again. "Feels like the first time." Just wanted you to know that I just bought pajamas just like yours...from Walmart. They were discounted because they didn't fit me. But the long sleeves keep my hands warm. But I have to roll'em up to wipe.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Welcome back.

[@johnclark1469]

.”..happened to be falling in that direction ...and saved the game” omg LOL climax to that picture of hobbling taped up McClintock who could not be kept out of the game. Yup- , see that coach knew what he was doing after all! Lol great perspective from a benched player w a crazy coach

[@TheCollegeActivist]

Such a great story

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks Michael.

[@meesterSmeeth4182]

"I had no idea I was in such great shape." Haha nice!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks for watching, White.

[@maureeno9382]

sublime!

[@fredcrook8228]

Blown out knees are no joke. I was at band camp once and blew out my knee. I didn't play an instrument or anything, in fact, I wasn't even in the band. I got on the wrong bus and twisted my knee as I stepped off. Bad day all around.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Oh, man. Sorry to hear that, Frederick. I hope it doesn't give you too much trouble these days.

[@fredcrook8228]

I think I forgot to put a ;) or a :D in there. :D

[@randygerman2176]

Dang, good stuff, man. Sure is a tuff break playing behind such a legendary player!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Yeah man, That Darn McClintock. 🏉

[@FRWHELAN]

It was your helmet that won the game! You should be proud.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Hooray for me! Thanks for watching.

[@harmonyfem]

loved it!!! thanks!

[@pastorofmuppets8834]

Wow we must have the same KZbin suggestions! Just finished watching this myself

[@DennisReganComedy]

I didn’t think KZbin suggested my stuff to anyone.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, MM.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, Cee.

[@thewoodys_surf_instrumental]

Is that the Zenith Space Command your using? I was so happy as a kid in the 60's when we got that because up until then I was the T.V. Remote Control for the family. Wonderful story and visuals I laughed the whole way through!!!!

[@deborahfairbanks4012]

Yes! My father was a tv repairman! He worked for Zenith! I am glad you brought it up!!

[@thomasmartinscott]

You should've had that gizmo when I saw you live, cuz the whole Show was in Black and White!

[@theopiner402]

You seem like a down-to-earth guy, I like that in a celebrity. Also, nice egg-beater drill!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, Ian. But I think of myself as more of a super-celebrity. 🤓

[@onpsxmember]

This and the Trukk Truck. Good stuff. Found you over Dry Bar Comedy and came for more. You're really good, you just need more material. Also checked out Brian, but he gets too loud at times. Do you got any special/half hour/hour online that can be bought with paypal?

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thank You. I don't have anything like that. I have a special on a subscriber network called VidAngel. And I'm working on some other stuff.

[@mysnellvilleblog]

If you need more material, you should just watch me cook dinner sometime. It’s a comedy of errors. I’m like the Our Four Marx Stooges Apple Dumpling Gang, only there’s occasional cursing. But you wouldn’t need to report on that. I need a sportscaster to do a play by play of my cooking fumbles. New Material? Naw, you’re stuff is evergreen...unfortunately candle shops still exist.

[@DennisReganComedy]

I’m on my way. Thanks.

[@thorganic4506]

Im dating McClintock's sister, she's a beast!

[@thinkinoutsidethebox9078]

Hey, I don't know if u remember me but I just wanna say Thanks for lending me the helmet!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, McClintock.

[@MissMcPhoebe]

That Menace McClintock...

[@shannonbowman5990]

😊 “ Some guys have all the luck”

[@WeilandFreak]

Funny stuff!

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, Sandie.

[@peterandolph7628]

Wow, what a coincidence….I tore my ACL doing the hokey pokey in kindergarten.

[@DennisReganComedy]

That is quite a coincidence.

[@scotsman6712]

My favorite part is when you hit the remote and everything changes to color.you're very funny.you should go pro.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Dennis Baird - Thank you. I’m considering it.

[@apove1814]

🤣😂😂

[@coreydallmeyer67]

Bahaha Hilarious

[@EricVirtueable]

This story lmbo.

[@DennisReganComedy]

TYVM, EV

[@MichaelPotterinMichigan]

Great stuff. Thanks for the fun, especially with all the nonsense going on with the NFL. If you think about it there is a lot of humor there....maybe a future bit lampooning the NFL?

[@DennisReganComedy]

Michael Potter - Thanks, Michael. And thanks for subscribing.

[@andrewrobertson3894]

Hahaha 😁

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thank you , AR.

[@YeshuaWon]

+ 28 from down here

[@purpleorchid5110]

You were a handsome kid.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, Purple.

[@CraigerAce]

How about you trading me your Ritz tin for my Saltine? No, not a tin, just a Saltine.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Let me ponder that offer for a bit.

[@janoahtindell8999]

Lol🏈😎😂

[@DennisReganComedy]

Thanks, JT.

[@jimanglin7987]

A person has to have lived a portion of this story to exaggerate it into comedy vs tragedy.

[@DennisReganComedy]

Kaboom. You are correct, sir! Thanks for the comment.

[@UFCaccesslimiter]

God..what fucked up Coaches. Its H.S Ball, shit. Utilize all of your resources available. Smh. A battered up Player one game away from requiring a body cast, still plays ahead of you. Haha