Depression and relationship difficulties explained by Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)

[@victoriamichelle2811]

My boyfriend is definitely struggling right now with depression and PTSD, I'm doing everything I can to help and make things easier for him at home. But it's so hard. It so hard to support a loved one especially when he isn't getting help. But I also can't imagine what he is going through either.

[@bugzpudding]

Something I tell everyone as someone who isn’t getting ‘help’: I only want you to hold my hand as I walk thru my fire. Do not try to put my fire out. Just be there :)

[@49ersfoldem]

@@bugzpudding I like that

[@Babba16]

Maybe you break up, that shock COULD get him out of his hole, worked for me

[@kaeylibee7880]

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday , tomorrow was supposed to be our anniversary.. she's going through a Major Depressive Disorder episode in which she is back on her medication and supposed to go back into therapy... I still check on her everyday even though she told me that she fell out of love for me but we can still be friends and she hasn't deleted our memories (that's besides the point) I check on her by sending her a message hoping that she's meditating and drinking her meds to becoming better again and I call her (in which she never answers but I purely understand) because I've also been going through depression and we deal with it differently. And have realized that the things you love, you love them no more when you're in an episode. NB I'm also working on my own personal health and bettering myself too in the process. Does anyone think it's okay to do what I'm currently doing (checking on her because I still care about her) ? Any advice on what I should do and shouldn't do maybe ?

[@coelho2795]

@@kaeylibee7880 give her space, but make sure that you’re there for her and at the same time don’t stuck your life because of her. I know it’s difficult, I’m currently going through that.

[@MediCali951]

took the words right out of my feelings and thoughts. The struggle is getting people to listen , hear, and understand it and not blame and judge you . People cry for help and understanding, at least that means you haven’t lost full control of yourself. But when they quickly judge, assume and abandon you it heightens . It’s like a hamster on a wheel going super fast but you want to get off and it’s still going to the point of loosing conscience

[@Vladimyrful]

This man summed my life up under a minute.

[@MalinmedM]

Wow this explains everything in such a great way. I instantly felt YES! Thats it! Why has no therapist ever seen this profound shame and unlovableness inside me and helped with that?

[@___erika]

They need you to come back, they get paid by the hour … jerks.

[@aslmad1]

But then what? This video didn’t offer any solution

[@rositareyes8583]

I hope your feeling better but what helped me was putting all my burdens on God. He promised to those who trust in him and have faith he will disappear all pain. I am a testimony to his word and promise.

[@ms.trinaq.2612]

He so simply explained this and I went...Thats it. I have said in my journal writing and to therapists.. I just feel worthless and have abandonment issued. And it shows up in EVERY area of my life..even spiritually. Man.

[@rositareyes8583]

@@ms.trinaq.2612 prayer prayer trust in God all pains and future desires. God created you he loves you. You are worth gold to him. He made us with such love and he wants us to be happy to learn to forgive as he forgave those who abandoned and betrayed him. Our blessed Mother turn to her for comfort she is our mother.

[@robinkorch-schwing1435]

I wish there were more people/doctors/family members that understand what you just said. Depression, Anxiety with Panic attacks and PTSD with multiple traumas and SI are no joke. I feel like I’m trying to make others comfortable and try to hide something that is a part of you. I will be starting Ketamine therapy as a last resort. Not covered by insurance Which adds another stressor. I might be well at hiding it one day by crying somewhere safe and next day unable to hold it in. Then I’m asked but you were fine yesterday, or go for a walk and shake it off. I even had the providers I worked for tell me things like anxiety can’t cause physical symptoms. I beg to differ. But the frustration of family and former coworkers truly make you feel like a freak and abandon you. Sadly insurances are covering less and less because they are trying to recoup money d/t influx of people needing help. I am 56 and am completely unable to work as an RN or anywhere for that matter. Now unemployed, it has put strains on my marriage. I spontaneously cry and get asked, why are you crying which makes me so frustrated. I am putting these horrible experiences out there because we need to take away the stigma. My husband is embarrassed of my mental health issues and even though I know he doesn’t understand it makes me feel soooo alone. I just hope that anyone reading this can that relates in some way knows your not alone. We have to just try and get help and those who think they can, share your experience and if that is too much for you I understand. I know I went on a rant but the warmth coming from this channel helped me feel comfortable. I will pray for kindness and understanding for those who are suffering! THANKYOU for listening!

[@catonthemoon2084]

Hi Robin, have you started ketamine treatment yet? If so what do you think 🤔

[@ishikagupta3491]

It's ok and if one can have diabetes , one can have depression too.

[@luismagdaleno9856]

You did not go on a rant. You were very good at expressing your situation. I am going through similar situations with my partner. Yet, what she doesn't understand is that I have had my enormous share of traumas that, I could not see how anyone can survive them. I am currently trying my best to stay motivated, because for no true reason, my eyes get watery and well I feel useless. I know I may not be the best partner because of how I am with her, (always arguing for no real reason). I hate myself every time. I wish at times, I would disappear from existence 😔 😪 😞 😭 sorry, but ima go take some sleeping pills to help ease the pain. Much love 🧡 ❤ and ✌ thanks for reading this.

[@andy-kj1ky]

I relate to what you just said and you are not alone. Thank you for helping me feel less alone too

[@DungTran-br3so]

Hi. My partner has suffered traumas, depression, and anxiety. I love him dearly and want to be there for him, listen, understand and help him overcome. I read and watched about mental health illnesses, and trauma, and understand what needs to be taken care of and healed. We had a lot of arguments recently. Everything I said seems to be filtered through a negative lens. I start to feel frustrated and I don't know what to do. One of you said it's okay to have diabetes so it's okay to have a mental illness. I completely agree with that. But at the same time, it is so hard to treat, with no clear direction and method to heal compared to a physical medical problem. It is hard for a partner to know what to do in this situation. Not like you can easily know that I can take care of my diabetic partner by cooking him healthy meals, carrying a sweet in case his blood sugar is low, etc. And my emotions and my actions don't cause diabetes to get worse. Sometimes I can't keep myself alert enough to know it's just because of his depression and anxiety. I start feeling bad and questioning myself about what did I do wrong. I just wanted to vent out after an argument today. And he said that if being with him caused me pain then we shouldn't be together. I think your partner is trying to understand and help as well. He/she may just don't know how to deal with it. I hope you can also understand for them even sometimes they did it wrong. And let them know how you need them to support and may be let me know as well

[@cadymacon]

This is incredibly, incredibly helpful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@nurasyura6175]

When he explain about the core becoming depress make me cry bcause that is what I feeling right now..feeling shame, worthles & unlovable..always need a validation from others to make me feel accepted..I use to be rejected by many people make me affaid to open up..😢

[@craigpercoco3013]

Hi Nur .. can I chat with u..

[@gabby9808]

I cried also ….. Im all that … nobody understands me . 😢

[@ToThoseWhoVanished]

The need for love n validation is met, and yet hopelessness and unhappiness persists. Biological functioning of the brain has a part to play in depression.

[@49ersfoldem]

I know that’s right. It’s seems all we can do is hold.

[@aslmad1]

Can you count your blessings that your loved and validated ? Can you be glad that your bills are paid? I’d tolerate depression if basic needs were met

[@ltahoe9257]

​@@aslmad1easy to say much harder to do.

[@271India]

This is so relieving. I feel like I've just done a therapy session.

[@subtropical1228]

anybody else cry real tears watching this

[@KB1983.]

this is my life for so long

[@varnishyourboard]

Two years after getting dumped I can't move on and be okay with being alone. Feeling love and acceptance is a powerful drug and I wish I could rid myself of longing for her. CBT, Antidepressants, TMS and DBT have nothing to alleviate the stress of wanting something I have no idea how to get

[@Baby420-k8i]

are u better now?

[@varnishyourboard]

Better? Slightly, sure. Still suicidal but finally crossed the threshhold of "only her". I'm doing Ketamine therapy now and it's making me realize that even if I never find reciprocal romantic love again, we're still capable of divine conection to friends and family.

[@asadzeethree2726]

@@varnishyourboard. Watch when you fully get over her, and you'll be asking yourself what was all that nonsense about. YOU WILL COMPLETELY GET OVER HER ONCE YOU’VE HEALED I PROMISE YOU! You're more in love with who you imagined her to be in your head, rather than who she truly was. She wasn't as special as you believed her to be! Most girls would have filled that gap in your life, and it just happened to be her!

[@varnishyourboard]

​@@asadzeethree2726Thanks for the reply. I'm still desperately working on being okay with being alone and been off all SSRIs finally. In recent months, I've actually had another women "take up that mental space" for a few weeks but of course that attraction wasn't mutual so I'm considering going back on SSRIs as they REALLY helped to numb myself in wanting what I can't have. Gonna give it a few more months, then something will need to change.

[@BodyOfMyGuitar]

EXACTLY!!!! Thank you!

[@friedflowers678]

These are brilliant!!!!!!! God bless you 🙌🙌🙌

[@S3113jshb]

My BF has PTSD. His parents fought a lot when he was little. Well, we had a fight and I yelled at him. I apologized right away. It’s been a month and he’s still not really talking to me. He admitted that he’s fallen into a depression. He told me I can call or text him. I’ve talked to him at least once a week. But I think I’m going to hold back a little. I want him to miss. I’m so sad about this and it’s hard to function everyday. 💔😢

[@emilyb5557]

Sounds really hard 😪You might find useful info on Thais Gibson attachment videos/her PDS - it's helped me loads.

[@JosephLopez-vg4lv]

That’s a toxic attachment, if you can not function. And If he can’t get passed it, he can not handle a mature relationship. Yes you should not have yelled at him, but he should forgive and forget.

[@jayhannieee]

same as me...

[@Bodangers]

He needs to go to therapy and you need to learn to communicate without yelling

[@gillywillybythesea]

Thank you. This is really helpful.

[@lucyice4208]

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[@ifeomamaduako2563]

Hey can we talk

[@promisemaliwa3214]

I love the way this man is describing me ☹️

[@alexh6235]

My girlfriend said she can’t listen to me talk about my depression, so I close myself out and she then gets upset because I’m so distant, so I can only talk about simpler things, I can talk about my bad day but can’t talk about my bad life

[@sayaya1304]

this was extremely helpful thank you so much doctor

[@nikkisolo9080]

Great video!!

[@youngboy24jg]

You know something I've been dealing with some feelings emotions and I'm so tired of my people making me feel like I'm the one whose being disloyal but they get to do whatever they wanna do and start talking about me to they're friends and that's so fuccin sad asf ❤️🥺 that's why I have an suicidal thoughts and I feel like I don't belong to the world at all 🥺💔

[@271India]

@Jamil G please hold on and do some self therapy like looking in the mirror 3 times a day and tell yourself how much you love and understand yourself and how much you’re worthy of being alive. Shake off those negative feelings. You’re on this earth for a very good reason.

[@johnc5776]

@Jamil G - very sorry to read about your problems, especially the suicidal thoughts, they can be very painful. It is important not to act on your thoughts, luckily the thoughts change over time, sometimes I just breath in and out slowly until my thoughts begin to change. Second it isn't clear to me when you say people are making you feel disloyal - are you saying that when you express negative emotions (maybe about parents/friends) that others say you are disloyal to your family or friends? It sounds like you also do not like people talking behind your back. What Greenberg is saying in the video is depression is a symptom or result of the primary or core feelings of not being validated (as in - you are important/loved/good) or I'm a failure/unworthiness (shame based). When others say you are being disloyal or talk behind your back, does this bring up another more core emotion - anger/rage, ..... Take care, I hope you begin to feel better.

[@aslmad1]

@@johnc5776 and if it does bring up a “core” feeling, then what ? How to fix the core feeling?

[@fredo5540]

My wife have anxiety depression and she always think that she is wrong everytime we have an argument or disagreement. I’m tired i feel like I’m gonna mental breakdown and sometimes i want to end my life because I can’t handle her.

[@prajnajois4065]

I'm sorry to hear how difficult it's been for the both of you... Although love and validation (social support) is extremely important to deal with depression, it's also necessary to work on it with the help of a professional. Hope you're able to try and get professional help for your wife!

[@MikeyBAAZ]

I'm a 40 male all I need is a woman and I set I cried yesterday for 2 hours like the song by Elton John "I want Love." I do have Bipolar 1, GAD, PTSD, and have never had a woman in my life, and people are going to criticize me for not having one maybe I had a girl like a friend but never a relationship. That's what I want, I just don't know how to play the game. The worst people that criticize are polacks. It Hurts (being alone)

[@doinamatei2028]

I do not know who you are, but there is no game to play because in a game someone always will lose. I can flirt, have a boyfriend, and generally have a partner whenever I want, but that does not mean I have love. Like you, I have always wanted love and craved it and the more I want it the more I do not have it. I loved of course, but I have suffered and been rejected and betrayed. The only thing: do not be desperate. Just talk to girls and tell them the truth without being ashamed. I do understand that this is hard to do, but it is not worth it to be stuck. I want to say that everyone has a situation and nothing is perfect. Good luck!

[@priyankanahata8247]

My husband had major heart attack few months back, and after that he's totally changed person, sometimes he's very happy, and sometimes he's just pissed off. Before the attack he loved cooking, we would go out in Sunday's, he would play with my son, but now he just stays alone in one room doesn't interacts much. I don't know what should I do. Can anyone help me how to deal and support him.

[@craigpercoco3013]

Hi Priyanka . Can we chat

[@amixedgoddess]

Loving him through it all smh I wish I had more advice this is a really painful experience for you both. Sending love and prayers your way.

[@aslmad1]

That is sad. Sounds like he is scared to death literally. His whole view of life has changed. Had the doctor told him it is safe to do certain activities?

[@newtonmoon]

Thank you for the great series. One question, if emotions are temporary, how can we get to the underlying emotion?

[@aslmad1]

Who says they are temporary?

[@newtonmoon]

@@aslmad1 It's in the literature. I don't recall the particular paper.

[@angelwing4977]

I'm feeling better already

[@noorb9857]

Can anyone help me find a website about how to deal with a depressed person ? I really need it

[@DanneyTanner]

I believe my issues I suffered from pTSD as a baby I don't remember exactly what I need to cope with To feel better

[@jolynborja405]

My fiancé is dealing with depression right now 😢 😪 we're LDR, it's so hard 😭😭😭😭

[@text4999]

Talk to me I have some tips to help you get out if it

[@Fiskgyrl2]

He gets it.

[@EricAmoah-f5t]

Please my girlfriend sometimes reassured me of her love but I still feel insecure and trust issues please I need help

[@dalefox6284]

This is me 😭 just lost my family because of it 😢

[@TerapiaCarrillo]

the best

[@Travelingnurse27]

More helpfull sir

[@jyotidaiya3770]

Please muje btaye muje break up krna h 😭😭😭😭 us ladke n or uski family n muje hmesa stress diya h 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@lisalizzy2617]

Just Break up man.

[@luulsheikh3801]

Indeed

[@tahseenthedream]

I’ll be there at 6

[@thefemmefatale9634]

I’m depress rn and Idk what to do after failing two courses in my business course. I wanna die

[@lochan8180]

2021 was the hardest, darkest time of my life. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually BROKEN. But now I feel genuinely GRATEFUL and BLESSED that I had to go through that phase because GOD has graciously REVEALED Himself to me in miraculous ways. I am fortunate that He allowed me to know Him at a very young age, but this year is so much SPECIAL because of what WE (yes, GOD and me) have been through last year. He showed me how POWERFUL prayers truly are when I started to focus on WHO HE IS rather than who I am, on WHAT HE CAN DO rather than what I deserve. The experience was MAGICAL. He showed up BIG TIME and assured me that HE is indeed a LISTENING and RESPONDING GOD. Oh how my faith has skyrocketed as a result! Now more than ever, I have very bright HOPE for my future because I experienced first hand how RELIABLE God is. And for that I will forever be grateful. GLORY BE TO GOD, MY EVER FAITHFUL FATHER. ♥️♥️♥️ To everyone who's struggling right now, please know that JESUS LOVES YOU. HE DIED FOR YOU. He wants to help you and give you peace. Please surrender your burdens to Him and allow Him to move in your life. "Because he loves Me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. He will call on Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (Psalm 91:14-15) Please hold on to this bible verse because WHATEVER GOD SAYS, HE FULFILLS. ✝️

[@Ang3la990s]

Nah it's just science

[@tracymcgrady1056]

Amen!

[@rodalynsecretario]

Real

[@taleilooker1316]

This is mad, unraveling and dissecting and communication can help relationships

[@MissChocolateTraveler]

I wish I could stop

[@joycegoes266]

Do you have depression? I want to pray for you

[@Hysagd]

❤

[@rolling-my-eyes1491]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@franklynOse]

This just explains my life. I just lost interest in everything

[@aslmad1]

Then what?

[@JNA946]

Ketamine therapy

[@BerylMalago]

Ooh do not take out your life due to being unable to handle your depressed wife, now that u understand she is just depressed you are well to go

[@AmericaFirst1963]

The greatest need for any couple is to make Jesus Christ the center of their relationship. That’s how God Almighty designed it to be. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit, given to everyone that trusts Christ as their Lord and Savior, that transforms marriages. EFT is fine, but incomplete without Jesus as the focal point.

[@marywolfe6598]

I agree with you. I do have Jesus as my savior but we still need people.

[@amylin9547]

No.

[@korraandasamisato4037]

@@amylin9547 I agree with you

[@Jordandacosta25]

Really

[@AmericaFirst1963]

@@Jordandacosta25 really what? Do you know Christ?

[@Yimibro0.18]

How can I make him feel he’s worth it he’s important 🥹 I feel horrible that he says you don’t even notice that I’m like this’ and I feel horrible that he tells me that am I doing something wrong? I don’t want him to say it’s all about you and not about me and I want it to be more than him than me