Derealization - My Experience

[@v1diu]

This genuine style of video is a breath of fresh air. I'm confident that you'll grow well past 25k with your incredible filmmaking skills along with the ability to turn these generally avoided topics into entertainment. I'd like to see more snippets of your journal entries in your videos because those were truly beautiful. Good luck and great job.

[@State-Of-Mind]

yoo that's so kind - thank you!

[@Colors_Unknown]

This is something that isn't talked about as much as it should be. Derealization is no joke, and I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better now. I've struggled with similar issues before, and it's cool to see your experience with it. Personally, I find that having goals and passions that I deeply care about helps me the most, even if in the grand scheme of things, they don't matter. I also liked the part you mentioned the cars honking. I feel like that could be applied to so many dumb things people get caught up on and put there energy into when It doesn't matter at all lol

[@State-Of-Mind]

yeahh ideas of "absurdity" and "meaninglessness" really have two sides, it can either be a foundation for following what you really want to do in life, or it can lead towards the feeling that nothing's worth doing at all. Simone de Beauvoir said that we create our own realities through participation, i think total engagement in whatever life is, is what distinguishes between the two

[@mr.morgans2305]

@@State-Of-Mind I have alot to say , firstly thankyou for making this and all other videos ,loved them. speaking about myself i also kind of felt some of what you feel, like equalness of good and bad , and feeling this decentralization few times a week for about 2 years now. I have two questions (hopefully you read this comment) 1) I know that only two solutions exist to this , of finding what you really like or feeling that nothing's worth doing.I am 17 now and am more inclined to the nothing side , but i am scared to accept it so I make myself believe that i have a fake "goal in life " , to help the days pass by smoothly . its not really anything serious just a little depressing for me its kind of a routine at this point. I just want to ask are there any sources i can refer to about this (a book?). also please suggest some philosophy books too (it will help pass my summer vacation) 2) You talk of realising the equalness and meaningless of good and bad. after realising this for the first time have you acted/thought/done something either consciousnessly or just with the flow (subconsioussly) that contradicts this equalness. maybe no one will read this but it helped clear my thoughts abit . Writing really is a gift from "GOD".

[@ronan8807]

Just found your channel from the Sirianni method video and I have to say I was weirdly surprised to see you've made a video about this. I've personally been struggling with depersonalisation/derealisation as a bit of a 'disorder' for over a year now and it's certainly one of the most bizarre and existentially horrifying things I think the human mind can go through. Nevertheless, its a weirdly beautiful experience and I've come to slowly accept and recover from it over the past few months (I only experience it now as a byproduct of severe stress and anxiety, so I guess this is just how my body copes with bad things now which is fine). I hope you continue to recover and that it doesn't mess with you too much into the future, but in the case it does just remember that it's just the brains protection mechanism from stress and what it perceives as 'life-threatening danger'. You mentioned your heart racing when you experienced derealisation and that you have a history of anxiety (unfortunately people with anxiety often suffer from derealisation), which even if it doesn't necessarily FEEL like you're in an anxious state, this weird dissociative effect really only comes on in response to that. Regardless, keep up the amazing work with your channel, I really can't wait to see what else you're going to make in the future!

[@Followthewhiterabbit0101]

You do not experience it as a byproduct of severe anxiety and stress.. you experience it as a byproduct of a past highly traumatic experience and you need a lot of self awareness to find out what it is and only then you can start to work on it.

[@Thatguy-kn9xu]

I used to experience this for a couple of days after panic attacks. The best way I could describe is that the world felt "fragile". It felt like if I moved to fast touched, gripped something to hard, or breathed to forcefully, everything would break.

[@ramanandh1261]

Man you need not have to say subscribe and like. This is much beyond that. What you are doing at your 19s is way bigger than what i am doing now. This is a channel i never hoped would exist in youtube or any other platforms! Thanks for your efforts, pls pls do more videos. These are gems i can collect!

[@Zines]

Only couple minutes in and the fact this exactly describes what I live and tried to explain to people who weren't believing me makes me scared. I did not do any meditation and the origin of mine is still unknown but it is powerful.. It happened randomly when I was 11 in the matter of a second and it never went away, I went to sleep thinking it would go back to normal when waking up because it felt horrible, but it never went away. I want to realize again so badly.. I think I'm daydreaming too much, I've always been daydreaming too much so it might be the reason but no matter how I think hard it never goes, it feels like being sleepy without being tired. It's so awful and weird.. I discovered your channel recently and thank you so much for your work, you're amazing keep up everything! I will always be of support ❤

[@nivetha0086]

New subscriber here.. Im a mother in postpartum phase.. Really stressed out, anxious searching around youtube something to try something to heal myself. Came across ur channel, binged watched all your videos. I used to meditate during my school and college days, but somehow i dint continue doing it. I realized i should start now. Thank you so much. I genuinely wish u good life..keep up the good work.. U ll reach heights.. ❤

[@TaraCresswell]

I am so grateful today for this video. I experienced a huge breakdown last year and am on my healing journey with the support of professionals including a holistic psychotherapist who has encouraged me to explore the spiritual awakening. Sometimes now when I am low or fearful I lean into the voyage of discovery using meditation rather than looking for escapes. Today I have exchanged a research into my diagnosis of derealisation for the story you have shared. Your wisdom and courage has moved me deeply and shifted my perspective and it’s just great. Thank you and best wishes for your amazing life.

[@JonathanNathaniel454]

Your videos have this very pure and natural looking lightning which makes it very relaxing to watch, i just discovered this channel few days ago and it brings my back to my childhood just how life felt back then. This is definetly something i will be watching alot and trying to learn some things myself too. Thanks

[@shitoaierutqjndfv]

Dude, thank you so much for sharing all of this. It answers so many of my own questions and it is really comforting to know someone else has had the experience of going from bliss to a completely unexpected reorienting of reality. Its nice to know that its actually just part of the experience and there’s nothing “wrong”.

[@bennash2731]

Your videos are of insane quality man. The attention to detail and the lighting (examples 6:33 and 3:28) are so good. Well done. I hope your channel can reach a further audience because the content is amazing. I recently learnt of meditation and downloaded an app called Medito. Thank you for the videos.

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy thanks that's sick

[@luke-bu6zy]

Great video, I felt very similar after doing psychedelics but never put it into words or tried to actualize what had happened. Your videos would make great podcasts

[@JasonSpitz-i9d]

I had similar experiences with meditation. Although it seems freeing to be detached to such a great degree, it can become dark. We have to eventually come into contact with where we stand and the darkness and light which are within us. The darkness can engulf, and nothingness leads to no resolution. Nothingness should never be the goal, but rather attachment to God,the source of our life. When we can unite with Him, we see life in the divine plan and how things fit together. Rather than life becoming a meaningless nothingness, it becomes a meaningful journey toward union with the creator. Highly recommend looking into Catholic Christian Theology. Although meditation seemed to give me freedom, it left me in an uncertain and somewhat terrifying state. I didn’t find the answers I was searching for until I looked for them in God. God bless man, hope your journey leads you to truth!

[@nidhi0211]

You have an incredible skill of storytelling. You are saving lives, my friend. Keep doing what you do!

[@refrizor]

Thanks so much for these videos! Lately my life has been at a standstill and watching these have genuinely given me so much encouragement to keep pushing forward and to take action, it's been so helpful and rejuvenating. & I'm glad you ended up being alright, but man I relate with the derealization, definitely one of the weirdest things that has happened to me mentally, mine started from stress last year and it was so relatable when you mentioned you felt separated from your body! for me it felt like my body was free falling through earth's orbit but my mind was somewhere else, psychology is crazy but its so awesome that you took so much out of those experiences! Thank you again and can't wait for the next episodes!

[@State-Of-Mind]

man! thank you so much! it's always so sick to hear people connect with the videos and im glad to provide some encouragement 🙏

[@mookdavis3083]

I'm on a similar journey my guy. Meditation is seeming more and more like my way of figuring things out, but procrastination is a b. I'm rooting for you and hope you achieve what you are journeying to.

[@State-Of-Mind]

thanks so much man, meditation only exists in the present so start here and you won't need to worry about procrastinating:)

[@Iei.a]

3:37. "emotions arise naturally, through the organic processes in our body" We need to eradicate pre-notions and stereotypes dominated by our emotional side. Neutrality from what others deem uncomfortable/comfortable, pleasurable/unpleasurable

[@State-Of-Mind]

yess very well said

[@VirtuaFighterREUPLOAD566]

Thanks for sharing your experience.When I was 13 years old I was sitting at the back of the class while teacher were providing a lecture of a new topic I was started think about life and death and soon after I felt like I was watching a video of life and I was so scared and even screaming in front of every one and almost had a panic attack this happens several times time My principle even inform my parents to take me a therapy appointment after when my explaining the doctor what I had he said this is a derealisation is a disorder that Unintentionally start to create your dream in eye making it feel life is unreal he gave meditations,exercises,and even strategies 1 deep breathing:when it happens again try take a deep breath and hold it 10 second 2.touch a various stuff when you taking a deep breath touch a item bed desk car wall and even a particular person 3 read words While touching,look at gadgets clock tv and spread the words out loud

[@chayman123]

Another amazing piece. Thanks for being honest and genuine. Love!

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy hell yeah bro 🙏

[@dxrknight6631]

Your videos are something else. Can't wait for the next one!

[@State-Of-Mind]

hell yeah it'll be coming soon!

[@KenDay]

Thank you and bless you.

[@Siyassingh]

All your videos have incredible editing skills, so glad im here in your early growing stage because I know this channel is going to grow a lot, love the information you pass on, a genuine content creator who doesn’t gate-keep, I do think you should post on social media to grow your channel, people NEED to know about this channel.

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy thanks sm

[@bizenbizen5028]

The quality is amazing and the topics are acsually interesting. So please keep doing your best.

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayyy thanks sm!

[@deepakravlar-tw6jg]

I'm first viewer l always waiting you unexpected concept of new thing I respected your effort and work

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy thanks man

[@krishnagoyal3598]

I just joined your channel and loving it 😁and that ''Sirianni'' method for memory was amazing I am using it and it helped me a lot in remembering the stuff for my medical exams.

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy that's so sick thank you!

[@jacobcampbell7279]

Honestly I’ve felt the same for quite a while now. Not really the extreme but it’s definitely there. I feel it every single time I go to get ready for bed. It’s really depressing and I’m working through it. Hopefully I can figure out a solution. I’ll just have to push through and research some fixes.

[@shashankn4523]

It's always a good day when your video's release

[@State-Of-Mind]

aye thank you

[@shashankn4523]

Welcome brother 😊

[@parthagarwal869]

Ah it is true that the biggest mysteries to be resolved are inside of us. I am new to beginning. I try to meditate for 10 min in morning and before sleep. However, my mind keeps wavering and it sometimes happen that I go into a spiral of negative emotions. But, most meditations are good. Thanks for the video.

[@simplydenzvlog]

Thank you for sharing idol.. so nice to share....

[@ilianysdeltoro1456]

If you need a friend or a prayer, Im here for you.

[@gabrielprasenaraj]

really amazing! love ur filmmaking!

[@State-Of-Mind]

ah thanks so much

[@lofifriend5237]

I also tried Zazenkai, but I can't hold more than 5 hour, in starting of this process our mind thinking a lot about previous stuff, but when we starting focusing slowly slowly our mind start emptying and, from there the real things start happening to you, specially the watching white colour board/ blanket is worst part, Watching your channel give me whole another experience I mean the learning parts, and the way u explaining and presentation is so good 👍

[@mulepati]

Looking forward to it!

[@stan.1337]

you are the best KZbinr keep itup bro one day you will become famous, can you remember my name when you become famous?

[@jakeEDITsyt]

Amazing video man! I love taking a deep dive into my mind and psychology and you've made it into a brilliant video form, well done! Also what lens did u use, it has such a unique look to it?

[@State-Of-Mind]

ayy thank you so much, I use all Sigma lenses aside from the Helios 44-2 which is by far my favorite lens I found at a flea market in Italy. In this episode, I also remember doing some work in post to change the way the lens falls out of focus haha

[@vividchilling2492]

This video scared me lol, but medatating for 10 HRs sounds tough and maybe not a good thing, I dont really know because I havent tried it. But thanks for this video I feel like it helped me understand the dangers of being too complete, feeling like you have done enough, that nothing matters anymore just because thats what you feel like. I nice quote I like is " I want to be strong, Not to be strong " its from miyamoto musashi, basically to never stop trying to get stronger, whatever that means for you though, that way you can also seek strength and never be done. In moderation of course whatever that means for the person.

[@9JB-1]

I go in this state , when the weather changes . Sometimes when in a crowd of people . I just feel small and I feel everything is in slow motion and it really takes a while to go . I didn't know how to describe it I'm still struggling it comes and goes.

[@ODENIKUL]

hello I jus binge watch your all videos and they are so informative and entertaining. I just want to ask can you make a video on journal I am right now confuse about that

[@rwbymoon3181]

Thank you! You have changed my perspective of thinking! I acknowledge that from your videos, I have learned how to try and try again untill you win:) May I ask, what is your MBTI?!

[@tadeaspaule9816]

Hi, thank you for the video! Really had me on a cliffhanger with that last one, glad everything resolved okay. What is your meditation routine nowadays? I'm especially curious about time of day & how that affects the overall flow/dynamic of your day

[@State-Of-Mind]

i meditate mostly in the middle of my day now, but also still twice a week from 5am-8am at the Zen temple. After that retreat, i generally stay sitting in meditation for an hour on my own - wish it was more and some days it is. It definitely improves the flow of my day considerably!

[@taylahstorey1179]

I like your videos. can you post about how to process. It's kind of hard to not control breathing while focusing on it. ..

[@State-Of-Mind]

i always end up focusing on a specific area of the breath - for me, the point between where you feel air flowing and where you can't feel it anymore. however it's seemed to me like zazen is less about focusing and concentrating and more about monitoring and noticing. I'd love to post a video on how to meditate once i feel more confident in my understanding haha

[@Hk09609]

@State-Of-Mind I dont know much about meditation and all since I'm just 17yr old.But there are things I learned about the world and reality and all about which I wish I never should've learned that in first place....And I think meditation will take me deep down into the questions for which I'm still seeking answers.....I just wanted to know were there things you learned from meditation which you wish you never learned??

[@LikaShagashvili]

I think i have this, because i feel alienated, like i'm not me. And i have been like this for 3 months. I know around is reality, but something inside tells me you are wrong! How long will it be before i get back to my life? I am 14 years old, that's how i think if a person approaches me on the side, he is not. No emotion either. I am very afraid, i think i'm going crazy or just like that. I also lost the joy of life.😓😭😭😭

[@ronit6235]

U should see look for Advaita and vedanata

[@Midnitexowboy]

At least you have great hair

[@Taffre]

Have you ever red the bible especially the book of revelation and the book of enoch its unreal its hard to believe start there it gives you a different point of life take my word for it. God bless you

[@spiderlordskater2787]

bruh... in zaza?

[@Tristan_Willcox]

Is derealzation a bad thing? You describe it in not a positive light, but if the meditation you were doing was supposed to put you in a state of "non-judgement", then why was derealization a bad or unpleasant thing? Shouldn't it just have been neither good or bad? I believe your negative experience of derealization points to the fact that we actually do have a purpose, things do have meaning, and that trying to convince ourselves otherwise is wrong. Think of the word "derealization" "de-real" its anti-real, and whats not real is associated with negative feelings because we long for whats real, true, beautiful, purposeful. I would love to talk more with you about this because when I see others go through this it makes me really sad, nobody should have to go through this.

[@State-Of-Mind]

ay yeah that's well said. At the end of the video I said that "i don't think this needed to be a bad thing". You're exactly right that we choose how to view confusing experiences. The zazenkai was back in November and I was very much a beginner at that point which - before speaking with the monks, meant a lot of confusion. To tell this story I wanted to depict my arc of at first viewing this experience as "bad" but then realizing that it IS helpful to be disoriented sometimes in order to affirm or change the path you're on

[@Vopraan]

Nothing is really "real". Everything stems from nothing. However, tell me: What is fake if what is, exists? Also, what exists that doesn't exist?

[@muz8710]

W

[@4sername]

It is called depersonalization not derealization.

[@refrizor]

really sounds like he was experiencing both depersonalization-derealization