Derek And Clive - I Was Having A Wank

Derek And Clive - I Was Having A Wank

[@pilgrimoutdoors-uk6177]

Hearing this in 2024, I am immediately transported back to the mid 1980's, in my bedroom pretending to be asleep and listening to this as a kid on a muffled C90 tape that was copied over and over and passed around our 'gang' .....Fuc*ing epic. Give or take - 40 years ago. Thank you for posting this.

[@twentyrothmans7308]

How's the knob cancer coming along, though?

[@oleggorky906]

I remember one called, Joan Crawford’s Shunt if you see what I mean. She wasn’t happy about it! 😂

[@aldershot5100]

1978 for me

[@DSM9]

Just listened to this for the first time since around 1980. I was 17 then. 61 now. Pleased to say I still find it outrageously hilarious.

[@paulway9926]

me too 🤣

[@aldershot5100]

Where have you been 😂 Mind you an obsession my end is an understatement

[@jamesholmes6808]

Loved it 40 odd years ago, still cracks me up and I'm a fucking grandad.

[@antoro63]

I know all these tracks virtually by heart. Was listening when I was 14 much to my mother's disgust. This wank one was bloody hilarious. Dudley Moore's drunk away laughing always got me too 😂😂 They were the best! So much was adlib too

[@ravenaussie3760]

As a 17-year-old, I believe more people of my generation need to hear this.

[@papersplease]

A cup of tea has solved every affliction in British history.

[@ThePaulv12]

It's why they won the war mate!

[@philmckenna5709]

And a wank

[@Laconic-ws4bz]

As well as Anglo Saxon Aussies. Cheer's mate.

[@robbieballard8914]

The line "so I was coming across the picture of my dad." Always has me in stitches.

[@swirlingfudge]

So fucking funny 😂

[@miketrout5190]

@@swirlingfudge 66⁶222aa21252252q1ùUùuùùuuùuzuzùuuuuuù⁷ùùùuuùYYYAAAAAAA7AAA77A66A62WWWWWWWWWWWQ IS LLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ PP999 90999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999IN 000000P000000000000000000000AN003344PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP55PLPLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP000PP000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000032P000000000000900000000000000000009P000000ⁿ9ⁿD 0000000000000000811OR 900000000090999000000900 CLUB 21IS THE 191BEST 91122PPP222 0009000900099990

[@aldershot5100]

Mum didn't like the sick o the Album cover and told me to remove it

[@JJONNYREPP]

Derek And Clive - I Was Having A Wank. you have an optional... depending on whether Audrey's in?

[@danw1374]

😂😂😂

[@LOCOMOTIONNUMBER1]

When my parents found out I had this record in 1979, they went mad. I was 16. 35 years on and it's still f**king funny.

[@bendelrey2188]

thank fuck it wasent a 35 back then or they would of wanked them selfs silly.... extra fast right

[@gemmanewing7231]

Roadrunners

[@babujonakitaheart3025]

Yes mate I was 12 early education an all lol classic!!!!!

[@MrDiscopunk]

I remember this album was doing the rounds at school. We were walking around the corridors singing "Jump".

[@aldershot5100]

Apart from my Mum coming into my Rooom etc.She didn't mind but did it ask me to remove Ad nauseam from the collection due to the sick on the cover

[@ThinPicks]

"The doctor told me to put my knob in a toilet roll"... still laugh out loud at that line!😂

[@davidgriffiths6454]

I listened to this filth during my teens and I absolutely loved it.

[@davelingard909]

I used to listen to a tape whilst driving to and from work in the 90s. I used to be in tears laughing and I must have looked like a nutter. Brilliance.

[@stephensmith1343]

We used to quote them while at work

[@roryobrien2318]

G.B.H ... .. Great British Humour!.. Derek and Clive were comedy icons for Teens in the 70's. .. I'm 60 this year, and when i hear this madness, i'm 15 again!

[@Bellpipe41]

The 9am wank being optional always killed me, because of the implication that the 9pm wank is mandatory.

[@richardsimmons9880]

you've got to round off the day. After dinner, if time allows 👍

[@bulletproofblouse]

@@richardsimmons9880 Or even just to get those last 300 steps on your FitBit to meet your goal.

[@Disc023-ps6le]

You mean it isn't? All those years......

[@JayFab69]

Being sick in the ashtrays! Derek and Clive were brilliant because you could listen time and again, and hear stuff you missed last time. Still find it hilarious now. Rest in peace, comic geniuses.

[@JayFab69]

And Dudley trying not to laugh always killed me!😂😂😂

[@pajtimo23]

This is comedy gold, God bless these two legends.

[@richardscally694]

100%

[@BobRoss-bk8ny]

These two never fail at leaving me in stitches

[@davelewis6256]

Top class

[@k8sl]

Peter Cook had the most masterful sense of comic timing, his vocal cadence when scored is music. There will never be anyone to equal him

[@DazHousego]

well said what a guy, gives me the orn

[@davidbates233]

Daz Housego Your comment gives me the orn'

[@jeffpearson5785]

David Bates everything gives me the orn, except my wife, she's an ugly bitch.

[@hickster222]

Everyone in this comment section gives me the horn.

[@davidparry8713]

Me too, except my wife Valerie

[@peppertennis]

Derek and Clive Enlightened beings 🙏🏽

[@johngarnham5772]

This takes me back. Just brilliant! Smacking away!

[@marcushinton772]

Loved listening to these guys when I was young and to this day, Valerie does not give me the horn

[@jespernielsen8549]

... but dead popes give you the horn?

[@slaphead8227]

"You got your old one out did you?" hahahaha pure class

[@frflinstone]

This should be played in the House of Commons every day before the start of business just to get things in perspective

[@frflinstone]

Actually given the past 2 years of Brexit it should now be played every hour for good measure

[@BLINDTUBEMARES]

It's too much, it's too much fucking perspective

[@rosemarydudley9954]

@@frflinstone The House of Commons is full of WANKERS... No need to play the record/tape.

[@maxwellfan55]

...if you can get 'em out of the bogs!

[@TRUMPER007]

Pete and Dud as Derek and Clive are legendary - remember first hearing these over 25 years ago and they have never been bettered - absolutely hilarious.

[@matthewhendy5785]

“The fact that she comes back with her hair matted with spunk is neither here nor there.”😂

[@denmachan]

It’s part of the pin selling business…

[@MikeSmith10999]

That's what she says in any case and who am I to doubt it?

[@VanDeVenDerVaart]

These two were genius. My Dad played me a tape when I was a teenager and I've loved them ever since.

[@Dextrovix-42]

Sadly missed but never forgotten.

[@bendelrey2188]

trans gender with no nob but a big little clit go on mate dont give it up keep it up

[@jackthebassman1]

Morning chaps, I got up for my 4am wee this morning and this quaint little skit drifted into my puerile mind, I couldn't get back to sleep for laughing.

[@robertcotton9091]

You are not alone my friend, even after all these years my Mrs was confused by my 05.00am laughing in the bed just yesterday.......I couldn't get it out of my mind haha.. I have to face due North....

[@karenmcginley3529]

I’m so thankful to have witnessed this comedy first hand.......groundbreaking. Utterly outstanding. They broke the mold. It didn’t make television....it was too risqué. There was no social media. I listened to this on vinyl.And it was an utter privilege x

[@aldershot5100]

Great when itv London highlighted the release of Get the Horn hid in 95 96 ? Marriella Frostrop asking whether you can tax relief on an unemployed nob was priceless

[@stevetilbrook3402]

i saw the c#nt skit on TV in Australia when l was a kid..

[@lucilledelorme]

... she understood the situation.. What a blinder of wife!

[@DavidRandallCurtis]

The 2 greatest thinkers of all time! This stuff is as funny now as when I first heard it many years ago...

[@mikegoldstone6832]

My dad bought this record when I was c15 but wouldn't let me listen to it....when I stole a listen when he was out of the house my appreciation of his 'not a boring dad' went up enormously.

[@CliffLee-f9k]

I have to face north. Just brilliant. Best double act ever

[@MrJustsaysean]

over the years ive come to appreciate cook more and more. his facial mannerisms are priceless.

[@leeemery8099]

I’ve only listened to half of this, I’ll listen to the rest later. I’m off to look for my train set 😄

[@AlastairNairn-jk8he]

😂

[@smartsnco]

I’ve been listening / watching D & C since the Sixties, still a class act!

[@Paul-010]

Long forgotten humour from the 70’s. Absolutely hilarious.

[@mikebeattie976]

I was in my 20s when I first heard this now in my 70s still find it hilarious

[@alanfunt4013]

D&C should be compulsory listening for every 14 year old boy. A true rite of passage.

[@danw1374]

This was my YTS. Set me up for life it did.

[@grummpbear1879]

National curriculum English !

[@tonysherwood9619]

@@danw1374... And look what happened!

[@tariqzafar1955]

They were and are my heroes.Genius’s

[@blairsmith3199]

This was the exact age a mate and me found his dads old Derek and Clive tapes and spent hours howling. Truly the best of times

[@ThinPicks]

I said Audrey..... love..... Dudley cracks up, perfect!😂👍

[@marciavaughan8335]

These Two were Absolutely Fabulous Together...♥️🤬👍!!!! First heard this in the 80’s, then came back across it, in the 90’s🙏!!!! Suddenly I used my brain 🧠 and searched ‘KZbin’🤔🧐!!! Larfed an Larfed as much as if it was the first time I’d heard it!!!! Great Icons- No Fucking Mistake!!!! Life’s too short Peeps...🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️. Enjoy 😊 while we can!! With Love 💕 SE10 London

[@MrCatalysis101]

I'll never forget buying the cassette. Beautiful lady behind the counter which was equally memorable. "Derek and Clive Come Again" says I. "Do they!" She responds.

[@helenh9906]

I remember buying these in vinyl in the 70s - they were restricted and had to be over 18 to purchase. I later was able to get all the albums o. CD which I still have.

[@lovemussb1940]

I remember sneaking into my mum and dads room and finding this on cassette tape in my dads drawer,I was only about 10,then me and a couple of mates listened to it!

[@bedfordcrusader]

i never reaised HOW funny these 2 were....brilliant

[@AndRewUK24]

Best Derek And Clive sketch ever!!!!!!!!!!! Funny as Fuck R.I.P Peter Cook & Dudley Moore

[@Horatio-Nelson]

This has become a genuine classic! Of the 500,000 plus clicks on this piece, 450,000 odd are from me. I've worn out my click finger doing it but I've really enjoyed the frantic thoughts I've had prompted by the discussion. However, basically I'm convinced that my frenzy really derives from my profound love of toy railway sets passing through greased toilet rolls providing electrical Shocks. I've loved that since my very early childhood. Regards, Horatio Nelson.

[@alexanderSydneyOz]

here is the solution to the problem: peggo.tv

[@steveforest8385]

"You got your old knob out did you? I thought you were running in the new one"

[@CB-xr1eg]

No no I'm saving that. Oh ok.

[@Van_Der_Lay_Industries]

I always thought that it was strange that my wife came home with her hair matted with spunk after selling pins. I'm relieved to find out it's part of the business.

[@BLINDTUBEMARES]

God, your wife too!

[@skylined5534]

@@BLINDTUBEMARES So as the husband I shouldn't have my hair matted with spunk? I alwaysget things wrong!

[@DF59821]

this is genuinely the funniest thing I've ever heard xD

[@carlmcgrath484]

'I said Audrey..... Love' *Peter bursts out laughing* 😂

[@ce5890]

When the boss left the building and it was the end of the day in our cafe we would put this on full blast. Good days, big shout out

[@rogerlegends166]

I've never looked at Clement Attlee the same way since hearing this .

[@spasticatadisco9571]

Clem the gem with a moustache on his on his on his chin

[@alek350]

"It's part of the pin selling business" hahahaha :)

[@K1lostream]

3:28 😂 The imagery there is just soooo funny! I can't cope!

[@MikeSmith10999]

Being sick in the Ash trays?😂

[@K1lostream]

@@MikeSmith10999 ….a run-of-the-mill Wednesday nine-o-clock wank! 😄

[@K1lostream]

@@MikeSmith10999 Just a run-of-the-mill nine-o-clock Wednesday wank!

[@K1lostream]

@@MikeSmith10999 ….a run-of-the-mill Wednesday nine o’clock w@nk!

[@thefungoden3978]

This is the funniest thing I've ever heard.

[@chrislewis-n3v]

"the fact she came home with her hair matted with spunk is neither here nor there " just cracks me up every time

[@laur51]

"Her hair matted with spunk" I can't stop fuckin laughing

[@hirdy6]

Run of the mill!!!

[@karaloca]

Crying with joy.

[@Disc023-ps6le]

Dunno why but I've just had a tug of war with Cyclops listening to this 😂

[@Gggmanlives]

I love how you can hear him laugh at 3:36

[@t-shirtman2526]

GmanLives ! What the hell are you doin' over here?!

[@madmac66]

Yeah they totally crack each other up. Such a great partnership and such great improvisers

[@FeekyChucker]

notice me aussie boomer reviewer ❤

[@ronanmaison6361]

i realize it's kind of randomly asking but does anyone know a good site to watch new tv shows online?

[@matteoomari7739]

@Ronan Maison meh I watch on flixportal. Just search on google after it :P -matteo

[@stuartliddle7228]

Clem the gem. gives me the horn at any time. Still does it for me.

[@BadEggCymru]

I spilt my medicine!!!!

[@royferguson3909]

I split my medican ten - years on ( virtual friend ) I still smirk hope you got through the last decade .

[@rosemarydudley9954]

Yes but ... he drank it which made him feel a lot better...LOL

[@Waldvogel91]

I reckon this is one of Moore's best performances; he's so hilariously grotesque and elaborate with that bizarre train set wank.

[@YellowTissueBox]

omg these guys r the best britan has to offer!

[@moonbeam54321]

"She sells these pins to people" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@PatRibsey]

Peter cook is the funniest man who e'er drew breath

[@flipper2392]

The best thing is these are all unscripted and they were usually pissed out of their brains.Saw them live once they were brilliant. My favourites are the leaping nuns and the Tarzan interview.

[@dubbermagoo43]

I like how this comedy seems to be made by two people trying to make each other laugh and almost succeeding. Everytime a throat is scraped or there is a little "umph", I know they are suppressing a laugh. Brilliant stuff, Im from NL and this shit is bloody fucking genius. Knobs out for D&C

[@eahannan]

Where's NL?

[@philmckenna5709]

Netherlands?

[@DavidHynes-p8e]

Brilliant 😂😂

[@TwiddleJones]

North Luxembourg?

[@andrewmorton3344]

There is plenty of Derek and Clive at their worst, at their most mindlessly belligerent, at their greatest ability to offend even those that understand their raison d'etre is to utterly offend. Then there are sketches like this that make you ache with laughter.

[@mickuljatheseagull]

I borrowed the LP off a friend in the 80´s, it was so funny. There was one bit about an ant, if anyone remembers please remind me.

[@brit50ify]

Brilliant track from a groundbreaking album from 70s. I read this was all ad lib.

[@SAFeCRACKeR09]

Looking forward to 9pm Wednesday, may even indulge myself at 9am if I'm feeling particularly adventurous. Hope I'm not sick in the ashtray.

[@leegould5306]

Spankingly good comedy!

[@GelenosOak]

Going berserk.... God bless you mr cook!

[@antonioparis4845]

''Clem the gem'' hahahahaha

[@MrCatalysis101]

The sketch that introduced Clement "The Gem" Attlee as an international sex symbol.

[@ThePaulv12]

And the one that introduced Lord Longford - "I wish I'd been a mass murderer and I was in prison so Lord Longford could come 'round and give me the 'orn."

[@madmac66]

“You got the old one out? Not t the new one?” “No no no I’m saved no that”😆😆😆😆😆😆Priceless

[@arthurlewis9193]

"I have to face due north because it's something to do with the poles" (Slightly bewildered) " yeah."

[@tobylancaster8493]

This is just modern comedy from the 70s

[@patavinity7673]

The Clement Attlee part was delicious

[@markbarrett4440]

I'd gone by Terrific Vibes! 😂😂😂😂, 😂😂😂

[@MegaKopite]

Audrey...........Love

[@CERTIFIEDBABEWRANGLER]

this sounds amazing for 1979

[@TheSwitchCleaner1978]

REMEMBER THIS FROM SO MANY MOONS AGO,SIMPLY THE FUNIEST STUFF EVER MADE,FORGET ALL THE SHIT FROM NOW THIS IS THE REAL THING

[@royferguson3909]

I concure, this is ' the real deal love your truth

[@chrishollis8972]

"Clem the Gem"...... LOL

[@elainenye-evans4555]

Toilet roll obsession during coronavirus has brought me here (toilet roll I had greased out)

[@Dunc25535]

Does anyone else see this as the first ever podcast show 30 years before they were even recognised as a concept?

[@PIREPvideos]

This is a hilarious album, esp if you’re as high, and/or as pissed as they were when they recorded it.

[@josephcrawley25]

Clem the Gem!

[@merewynyard5813]

Haven't heard them for year's 😂😂

[@hughiedavies6069]

😂 Peter Cooks imagination is insane, Nobody would dare attempt to say what they said these days 👍

[@slightcurve98]

I’m so happy my dad showed me this a few years ago it’s jokes

[@dopiaza2006]

'Part of the pin selling business'

[@captainkaos1770]

I only hope some of the comments here are posted by the younger generation. Pete and dud are pure genius and the so called comedians these days aren't even in the same cosmos as the boys were. they're just pretenders to the crown

[@nancywillis5444]

Captain Kaos I love them. Feeling lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut, I put them on and put the rope and stool back in the closet. Love. Them.

[@primus7776]

Great response Nancy! Please lock that closet dear lady.

[@gor0356]

Your comments are exactly the same send up Monty Python said 50 years ago about how my grandfather suffered more than your father skit. [we had it so tough our father use to beat us to death etc].

[@tomventers]

Captain Kaos 17 and listening to this, ya cant

[@paulgilson2347]

I'm 35 and am sorta a young generation compared to when this came out.....we used to pass a tape of this around our mates at school back in the 90's, pure fuckin genius!

[@kdee8166]

"It's a free country"

[@DavidJarrold-e7j]

‘And I plugged it into the train set’ oh my god if that doesn’t make you laugh then you’re clinically dead

[@AnthonyMonaghan]

A huge...mustache? ha ha ha. Priceless

[@RadicalRoots23]

Classic British culture. Brilliant. even as a leftie myself i think this kind of humour should not be banned.

[@gj55223]

Who’s talking about banning it?

[@storm3698]

You're a leftie. Most use their right hand

[@christophermartin5607]

Wanka

[@bacreeton]

"I was yanno, pullin down all the furniture and like grabbing the carpet, getting sick in the ashtray. Yanno.. Just havin a run of the mill wank"

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

Damn, this shit will never not be funny. XD