Depressed, Alone And Desperate

[@InfinitusYT]

This video is getting a lot of attention it seems so it may take some more time for Me to get to all of Your comments but I will read them all and respond accordingly! Thank You all SO MUCH for all of the kind words and support so far it truly means the world to Me, YALL ARE SO AMAZING!!!

[@HonestlyHolistic]

I don't have any friends but I know what it feels like to not be able to talk to anyone, even with my partner and I know she is there for me, but it's hard to let that feeling of loneliness go sometimes. I am glad this video is getting attention and you can get the support you need. :)

[@lorgnetteify]

Me too Im glad you reached out! We care!

[@freeman37]

You are not alone. It is a greedy, disgusting world out there and there are few people that are actual humans. Mostly robots.

[@InfinitusYT]

Society is a program. I agree 100%

[@stevo6891]

I completely agree!! People definitely suck. I found out I can only depend on myself not others

[@AlbertoGarcia-qr7qg]

I agree

[@goodstuff1977]

My brother , life is hard for a man , and trust me there are millions of people out there who feel the same as you , I know you feel low and think your life is meaningless but it’s not , it’s just in your head …..I know it doesn’t help me just saying that because for you it’s very real , but I want you to know there are people out there who truly care about you and love you , life is never as bad as you really think , I have lost many people that I love , I’ve been rich and Iam now poor , but my mind is strong , I was a drug addict and a criminal and changed my life twenty years ago , life is not about what material things you have , life is like ebs and flows , ups and downs , but for as long as you have breath in your lungs life is good , many people in the world have a lot less than you and live a really bad life , women will come and go and you will find somebody your only young you have a hole life ahead of you , make a choose of what you want and strive to make it happen , whilst you feel low in your mind you will always stop yourself from getting better , Iam here to talk whenever you want I promise you that , I know these things are easy for me to say now , but I have been were you are now , but thing can and will get better you just need to push on through what your feeling ….i love you my brother even if you don’t believe it

[@ItsLanceYo]

Hey man, keep in mind that it’s not just you. Everyone is feeling this way due to the economy and ways we are being manipulated through social media. The best thing that has helped me is to eat as clean as possible and work out regularly. I used to avoid it because it takes time, but then realized it was taking more time for me to feel like doodoo. Strength training at least 4x a week and cardio 2-3x a week. I don’t even have a gym membership, I do it all outside. Give it a shot!

[@InfinitusYT]

Absolutely, health is wealth as they say. I need to be more physically active for sure.I Just have some physical limitations right now due to injuries and a hip surgery that makes things a bit harder than it used to be. Appreciate the understanding and encouragement man!!

[@user-wp5qo6qg7q]

@@InfinitusYTRunning, water, sleep, etc.

[@FrickinCCDeVileV]

🎯💯

[@5002seven]

The fact that you have this channel mean that people want to listen.

[@user-jz6to8md3c]

And can relate.

[@somethinggood-sy1ed]

26 is so young! I'm 44 feeling the same way

[@user-jz6to8md3c]

Im 56 and feel this way there is no age limit.

[@VictorMartinsPT]

43 and same. Sending love to us all ❤️🙏❤️

[@alexandrabellerose3550]

counterproductive comment telling depressed younger people it's just not going to get better and that's all you got to look forward for 20 yrs. At least people don't sugar coat/gaslight which is cool, but give guy some solutions. When I see 30 40 50 yrs old saying same stuff, then I ask myself what's the point of struggle, I will age and just have same struggles what quality of life is that

[@yroc2553]

31 and felt all of this for a long time

[@tazpoochie]

63 and the same

[@Epoch-vu8cj]

"What INSPIRES you to get out of bed in the morning?" "My bladder"

[@InfinitusYT]

😂😂 same

[@bigchief2331]

Times are seriously tough at the moment. I know for a fact the majority of men feel exactly the same. I'm 31 and more lonely and lost than ever. I don't know what the point of anything is anymore. I wake up feeling totally empty and it persists all day. Only thing that helps is going for a 5k run every day. But once I am home, the loneliness and despair is unbearable. I can't watch TV or play games anymore. Nothing brings pleasure and everything feels like a waste of time. I have no one to talk to. There's no sense of community anymore, and no third places. I am so lost.

[@InfinitusYT]

Really sorry to hear You are struggling so much, I'm glad You can go on runs to distract Yourself but yeah coming home to an empty house can be incredibly depressing and I understand how You feel like You can't enjoy anything like You used to. But remember there is always a way out of the dark, the path may be hidden but if You stumble around enough You may find it and slowly work Your way to a happier and lighter place in Your life. Don't give up!!

[@Natty183]

You night not be able to it right now, but with so little distraction you could make tons of progress on the protocol described in The Secret of the Golden Flower. Maybe whatever it is that guides has just cleared the field for you? There's free audiobooks on KZbin. You might like learning the backward flowing movement at especially this time in your energetic cycle.

[@lovecadiz]

nothing brings you pleasure…… its because you can’t find “ pleasure “ outside of you. Look inside of you and dont expect anything. Just watch…!!!! Hope you understood my message. Big hug from Europe🙏❤️🙏

[@InfinitusYT]

@@lovecadiz cheers!

[@MrSemro12345]

I'm in the same situation as you chief, it's worse for me, I almost fell into depression.

[@elyksteeley1181]

I just turned 30 and you pretty much described exactly how i feel

[@elainetaylor6561]

Hang in there. I went through hell in my twenties and would not go back for anything . Parents split and anxiety and panic attacks took over my life . I used Ashwagandah and turned to helping animal rescue groups . I think volunteering is imperative . People need people so do animals. People need to be of service and even elderly people are desperate for companionship. There are so many people quietly feeling this way. It will get better but you need to have some faith and reach out to be of service somewhere. Dog walking Spca Soup kitchens Care homes Look up volunteering in your area . It’s amazing what this can do for you too!!

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank You for the suggestion I will try to look into volunteering, the biggest problems are no transportation and no stable income at the moment.

[@justmadeit2]

I’m 49 and completely lost in itfe, long term unemployment, not even been looking for work because of my issues, depression, insomnia. I’m scared of how low and out of control things have gotten. I exist instead of living. Peace of mind is everything and I hope to find a better way, one in which I can find peace of mind. Life and just being a human can be really hard

[@RamaWick]

Hang in there, you are not alone, there are “many” of us out there. Be strong, you can do it, Peace

[@justmadeit2]

@@RamaWick Thanks ✌️

[@damonroberts2862]

We’re right here with you brother… vids like this make me feel so much less alone.

[@InfinitusYT]

I'm glad that it helps, makes me feel better I always am worried some that these kinds of vids will make people feel worse but it seems to have the opposite effect mostly. Which is great!!

[@debbieporter6581]

I so get how u feel. I always think I wouldn't wish the way I feel of how I have to live on anyone. Even someone I disliked. It's terrible to have no one to reach out to. My days are so lonely I have no friends. Is sit in my apartment t alone day after day. I'm much older than you but I can understand how u feel. Please take care.

[@InfinitusYT]

I am sorry that You are having somewhat a similar experience as mine, I hope one day We can find ways to overcome these issues together. We are not alone. Please take care of Yourself as well, thank You!!

[@ShowMeWhatINeedToKnow]

Few things: Male loneliness is a new epidemic - it's very common these days - VERY, VERY, COMMON. A lot of guys have zero friends and they are good people and well adjusted - not weirdos or anything. There's simply a problem with modern society. I feel like it's almost by design. And I'm in the same boat. At least more men are talking about it, which is brining light to the issue. It does suck to lose your last friend which you feel you could talk to anything about, who was a female. Same thing happened to me - don't know why she dumped me as a friend - it hurt a lot and was really confusing. I know it's hard but try not to compare yourself to others. When you do you are invalidating your unique journey and experience. And what we consider success is a human construct. Try not to get hung up on it if you can. All I can say is you just have to put one foot in front of the other - and if you keep doing that new ideas, doors, and opportunities will eventually open. Just perhaps not on the timeline you want them to. BUT things CAN change relatively quickly as well - you just never know. Keep moving forward man. If baby steps is all you can do right now, then just do that. All you can do is your best.

[@InfinitusYT]

I appreciate it I will continue taking steps towards a better future for myself and those around Me. Everyone should open up about stuff like this more and maybe things would be done to make it better. Problem is most people don't know what the problem even is or that it exists at all, what causes it or the right ways to fix it. But together we can spread awareness!

[@timcepin3386]

I’m severely depressed and desperate, too.

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear it, I hope You can find some way to get better!

[@RamaWick]

Hey, hang in there, there are many like us, you are not alone, you are strong. Peace

[@notcountingsheep3361]

It's liberating once you realize all you'll ever have is yourself. Your dream of finding someone who understands you, well, they will die, most likely before you do. You'll then be left with yourself again. Accept yourself so you're not relying on other people to accept you. It's obvious what you're struggling with, surgery can't fix it, it's not the most important thing in the world. Let it go and get some sun, breathe, stop fighting against the universe. It will all lead you back here anyways, no matter how hard we all try.

[@thehypest6118]

That part about getting your needs met really hit home with me, I've spent all week rolling that around in my head before I saw this video, it's horrible understanding that you have these fundemental human needs but find yourself completely incapable of getting them met, I think honestly I know this is thrown around a lot these days but a huge reason is the hugely atomised and antisocial culture we live in, the isolation you are very rightly feeling, that I feel, that we are all feeling isn't invalid and it's not because we're just weak and incapable of dealing with lonliness, it's because our core needs aren't being met, same as how you get progressively hungrier the longer you go without food, it's not wrong to be hungry and it's not wrong for us to feel alone, it took me ages to arrive at the point you made about how, I can be alone some of the time yes but i just want to be "not alone" some of the time as well to balance it out, I'd had that completely gaslit out of me altogether, we all desire a deep connection with a community because that's how we as humans are supposed to live, we're not meant to be left alone to rot and collapse under our own isolation induced problems, I see you mate, I feel you, you are not alone in how you feel and it won't last forever, but it's so painful to endure whilst it's happening

[@InfinitusYT]

I really appreciate Your comment, We can't allow our sick society to convince us it's not normal for people to need deep and positive social interaction regularly. Much love, and thanks for watching!! ♾️❤️

[@kirielle]

Thanks for opening up, its not easy but youre not alone. Your feelings are heard by many. Youre helping People by showing your real self its precious. Dont feel ashamed to be honest and for needing human connection its only normal. I wish you the very Best

[@MrSemro12345]

Loneliness is one lethal "drug". I've been like this since 2020.

[@CT-pv9gu]

Dude you’re 26. You’re still young. I’m 30 and I tell you that life doesn’t get easier. You really start to slow down when you get to 30… you can’t do the same things you used to. But I’ve gotten wiser, and I can say NO more - which is a great power. Life is so weird but so good as well. Even the bad stuff is good!

[@rickynorris1694]

I dealt with anxiety for years. I finally got on meds and feel much better. If I didn't do my avid walking, I don't know what I would have done. We all get depressed, just hang in there. Things always get better. I am single and love it. You are a nice-looking guy with a brain, get out there, and meet people. If you lived in Raleigh, NC, we could hang out. Start power walking. It is a big stress relief. My nephew is 39 with a good job who lives with me, so it's no big deal these days to live with family. Just remember, someone is always worse off than you. You don't have to look far to find it either. At least you are physically healthy with a roof over your head and food to eat in a climate controlled home. 😊😊

[@InfinitusYT]

Thanks for Your comment, I want to be more physically active it's just hard for Me, You may not have seen my previous videos I got injured at a warehouse job and ended up getting hip surgery done which just made things a lot worse unfortunately but it's not an excuse to not try doing anything. I want to do some swimming if possible actually this summer while the pools open maybe that would help for sure! So I guess I am healthy but physically I do struggle to exercise due to injuries and such. Appreciate everything You said here though You are absolutely right!!

[@Polecat-qz5om]

@@InfinitusYTi have a back injury I get it

[@provisionalhypothesis]

This post brought to you by Pfizer.

[@pianodesu]

Thank you for sharing. I think its common for people to feel alone if their parents separated. We often feel disconnected because our parents felt disconnected in their life and they did not managed to heal it fully so they often pass it further as transgenerational trauma. Blessing from Poland

[@InfinitusYT]

Absolutely I definitely feel like I'm having to heal from things I personally didn't even experience firsthand like My Dad has passed alot of trauma onto Me from his own life less so from My Mom but that's still there too. Appreciate the support!! Cheers

[@nexum1676]

19, going through the same shit, therapy helps (sometimes) love y'all

[@InfinitusYT]

Much love, We can get through this together I believe!

[@donot-vw9fx]

i’m 19 too , been dealing with this since i was phew 15-14 ? on a scale of 1-10 (10 being therapy changed ur life) how much did therapy help you?

[@nexum1676]

@@donot-vw9fx like a 5, it doesn't solve fundamental issues like money and poverty. But you can feel better after being heard

[@karlabarla123]

Hang in there, man. I just came across your video randomly, and felt the need to comment. I'm at the height of my depression, so I can relate to what you're saying. Just know there are lots of people out there who are going through the same thing, and it's never too late to change your life for the better. Depression is no joke. It's been the most brutal experience of my life. I like to look at it this way; what happens from here on out, is up to you. You have been given the opportunity of a fresh start. Your life right now is not set in stone. Things can change, but I know it's nearly impossible to imagine that when you're in the worst of it. xx

[@InfinitusYT]

I will, thank You for commenting! Sorry to hear You are at the worst of it right now. So many comments from people going through similar things does help me feel less alone. You are right there is still so much to try to do still and things can always get better if You want them to and work towards it the right ways. I'm glad we can relate.

[@KidVll]

I resonate with so much of what you said. And I too have had so few emotionally honest conversations. Im guilty myself of always trying to downplay or obfuscate what I'm going through to avoid vulnerability. I've been like this forever. Obviously something horrible happened to me while i was young to make me never feel comfortable opening up to anyone.

[@sylviaderby3822]

Having counselling is definitely a step in the right direction. It has always helped me in life. Just be gentle and patient with yourself and do not beat yourself up while you are down. That happens because of the depression. The changes suggested during counselling take time to put into practice. But first you need to build your self confidence up again slowly. Give yourself plenty of time ! 26 is still so young. Also volunteering could be a great way for you to get out the house, meet or help people and realise that there are people happy to have you around and share their life and feelings with you. But that first step has to come from you. Wishing you lots of positive thoughts and courage to take those first steps

[@alexandrabellerose3550]

I feel guy needs luck more than cope mechanisms than counselling/crying about it. One right opportunity can do a lot for a while for person's wellbeing e.g. getting lucky and getting decent income some way getting lucky meeting people who actually care and not there to just use you I done all that you listed counselling, forcing to go out/volunteer, help people, exercise, medicines and so on. Still in the same place, to actually have change in your life something must improve substantially in love life/income/friendships/maybe developing some unique skill. All of that is mostly roll of dice if it will happen rather than hard work/being positive. While true 'getting out there' you have better chances for good roll, it can be fruitless for some people.

[@sylviaderby3822]

@@alexandrabellerose3550 Yes, having luck is also key. But if people just sit at home nothing will ever change. A positive mindset can help to go out and meet others with a similar and caring outlook more easily. And sometimes new contacts and new ideas that bring about new opportunities and a change of luck. Like the old saying goes, nothing ventured nothing gained.

[@alexandrabellerose3550]

@@sylviaderby3822 ->But if people just sit at home nothing will ever change. I said that at the end of comment, my point is yeah trying can help you - it just doesn't work for everyone though it's a fact. Sometimes it can be even counter productive - meeting people give you more distrust/traumas/maybe even get beaten or robbed if unlucky. Sometimes you have to look objectively if you want to be hopeless optimistic or cut your loses from disappointment of trying same thing over and over again. I guess dude can choose which mindset he wish to adopt and deal with consequences that each carry.

[@oongieboongie]

We have a conception of ourselves, these are based on memory, memory is faulty and based on the past which doesn't exist. You are here right now.

[@InfinitusYT]

While this is technically true, the past doesn't exist anymore. but the present moment is what everything before it has led up to and I am not sure We can fully appreciate the present moment and take advantage of it if We just forget everything that ever happened to us. there are plenty of good memories that I would not want to forget no matter how many crappy things have happened to Me too.

[@pinkmoonrabbit2072]

"the past doesnt exist" is a lie. that is an unhelpful platitude meant to bludgeon and invalidate feelings, not properly deal with them. What we know about trauma so far proves this. The body keeps the score as a famous trauma book says.

[@oongieboongie]

@@pinkmoonrabbit2072 Buddhism is western psychology plus 2000 years. Yes the body keeps the score but philosophical and spiritual practices get us out of those states, along with psychedelics and the refusal of noble lies such as "free will". The more we can get into a deterministic mindset the more we can accept ourselves.

[@oongieboongie]

@@pinkmoonrabbit2072 I'd advocate anyone to have a philosophy that mixes Buddhism with genetic determinism. This would allow for proper forgiveness and acceptance (in my experience) of people who have done you wrong as well as what you may have done wrong as well. I should have probably put more philosophical context behind my original comment to make it seem less callous, but it still stands true.

[@LOTTIE.91]

I, too, have been fighting depression for quite some time, I am 32. My mom and dad seperated when I was 9, it hit me very hard. I was in a toxic, awful relationship for over 6 years from the age of 17 that still effects me after years away from the situation. December just gone, I broke my ankle/leg and I am still recovering from that and have been feeling very lost and lonely in the house, take eachday as it comes, you are never alone in your situation. We ALL as human beings make mistakes, or go through injuries etc along the way throughout our lives. We also go through alot of trauma and pain throughout life - It's how we cope after the trauma and pain that will define our future and our minds. If you made mistakes with your ex partner, that is okay... Learn from your mistakes, hold yourself accountable from them, accept what was and is now and move forward. If you don't do this, you will never find closure or happiness. Keeping yourself busy is key, go to work, leave the house even to just go for a walk for some fresh air in nature will potentially make you feel connected and involved. It seems to me that you are feeling very secluded from the people in your life, please don't feel you are not worthy, find the will to speak up and connect with people around you, make new friends if you feel the friends around you aren't there for you. Go to potential groups in your area if there are any... Social clubs etc. You are NOT alone, you are 26 with a full life ahead of you, there is ALWAYS happiness around the corner, you have the potential to find it. Bad/hard times don't last forever, keep that in mind... ❤

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear about Your own struggles with depression, it can be hard but You are totally right we all make mistakes all You can do is learn and move forward. There is so much left to experience in My life and I will do My best to get better and get my life back on track, thank You for Your amazing comment! 🙏

[@LOTTIE.91]

@InfinitusYT Sending you lots of strength from the UK, my friend. 🇬🇧 Forgive yourself for any mistakes and keep yourself active and strong minded. Your past does not and will not define you ❤️

[@Pika0294]

30 yr here, mental wrecked for 15 years. Mostly isolated cause I get exhausted by too much social interactions and impulses. Out of work for over a year now and living of health insurance. Makes me feel even worse to be a failure to society by not having some university degree. Last year attempted to yeet myself. No idea how to continue, had 2 rehabs and 5 yrs of therapy and medication altered my personality to schizoid. Constantly worried about health and death cause I never started to live this life. Gym and exercise is my only thing but injuries that flare up here and there lead to all or nothing and deeper into the depression. Sorry for venting but I needed to.

[@InfinitusYT]

Hey, nothing to be sorry about! I am sorry You have been going through this for so long. I am glad that Your attempt at taking Your life did not succeed however horrible life may seem there is always a chance things could get better. hang in there, We can do this together!

[@Pika0294]

@@InfinitusYT Thank you so much! You seem like such a kind soul. You are absolute right about that, there is always a part of me who believes that I can turn this life around, it's just those moments when you feel trapped that can become unbearable.

[@lonestar8312]

I am a 41 year old man that is totally alone from shyness. I have been struggling with depression for years but as of lately my depression has never been this bad. I would say in the last few months I feel so hopeless and restless with life.

[@InfinitusYT]

Really sorry to hear You are struggling so much and for so long, I know how shyness and anxiety can prevent You from having people in Your life but just know You can always slowly try some things to overcome those problems and it will get easier. Hell if anything try making a KZbin video or two and see if that helps, it definitely does for Me just might take some getting used to.

[@CodingAbroad]

I’m a simple English man living in Sicily. I think the problem we have in our lives is connections. I wasn’t meeting anyone in the uk and so I moved to somewhere which is more friendly and inviting. Life has improved immensely

[@BestMentalism]

focus on doing what makes you feel alive. everything flows from that - making friends, being interesting in conversations, finding a mate, etc

[@glowsack2909]

Scary how relatable this is haha. Just showed up in the algorithm 😳

[@InfinitusYT]

Gotta love that algorithm 😂

[@guitarguru_]

Hey just a reminder that you ARE loved! God loves you no matter what. People will fail you, they’ll let you down but God truly never will. I hope that you would seek Him and ask Him to reveal Himself to you because He can! He has a future for you and plans for your life!, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ You were put here on purpose for a purpose. God bless you :)

[@fatmarmelade]

It is just so exausting sometimes. I do hope sometime soon you will live your best life ever to the fullest. I believe in you. 🌟

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank you so much! Life can get very tiring but I am not giving up!!

[@roderickcortez138]

I'm 45 and in the exact same place. Been in this place for about 15 years now. The problem is that society simply doesn't care about men. I don't know how we fix that.

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear You've been struggling so long, longer than Me. If more people would try to understand each other and people were open about how they are feeling I think slowly things could get better but right now yeah, most people don't care about Men's emotions or mental health much. I wish more people understood and were there for each other to help change things. But we all need to be the change we want to see, it's everyone's responsibility to become and do better! 🙏

[@Natty183]

Society didn't care about anyone. Why am I hearing this everywhere right now? Lol I'm a 43 year old woman and I live in my Suburban. I was almost un alived in a truck stop bathroom because I looked homeless. No one cared. I try to rent a room I become prey to sexual and criminal predators. I was a scapegoat in a narc family system, have CPTSD and was kicked out by "family" three days after a radical nephrectomy. No one cares about anyone, it's not just men. I just finally realized there is no help. If I return to family they try to screw me over and the help doesn't help and they don't even know me, or stay living in my car too afraid to have businesses dealing because everyone is a thief and a liar... I just don't care anymore. I'm too tired to care. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable that I'M homeless. I don't care that no one will help, I don't care and I'm just going to keep going but so with the delusion that these are "people."

[@LeonelAndres1998]

Your not alone brother, hopefully one day we all find peace and happiness

[@keanuebuama9154]

I’m 25 and also in the same exact situation as you right now. Tbh I don’t know what to do. Losing my life isn’t so bad idea at this point.

[@InfinitusYT]

I know how You feel, but there is no possibility of things ever getting better in death!

[@leetbus]

Take care lad, very brave, there is a beauty in expressing yourself with no filter.

[@user-qb9pr3zi8g]

Hi! I'm in the search of job no and there are so many awful things behind that haunts me so just know we're here not alone! There's a quote: dead end is a way to yourself Means we need to fix smth inside, have this time and conversation with yourself Then whrn you'll make a step towards your new self God will put your broken parts of soul together! Stay patient ❤

[@InfinitusYT]

thanks for Your comment! Every day life seems to keep showing Me that when You have nobody else by Your side, look inward and pay attention to Yourself when no one else will and that will help! I think I neglect Myself a lot because I have been neglected so much by others but it's time to change that!!

[@febee5285]

Many people feel this way, but are not open about it. I wish you all the best, you are not alone with this feelings! ❤️🙏

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank You! I am starting to feel less alone and better because of comments from people like Yourself!!

[@aknudsen93]

You are not alone and are still so young. We all make mistakes when we're young and even when we get older so don't beat yourself up about the past. I am seeing a therapist and he said that many people are feeling this way now. First the pandemic hit and now with the economy it's been tough.

[@InfinitusYT]

I am beginning to realize these issues are incredibly widespread and I am absolutely not alone, so thank You so much for helping me to understand that. I'm glad You are getting help from a therapist I am currently getting counseling myself thanks to My Mom and it helps! I will try to be more positive and kind to myself in the future. Thanks for Your comment.

[@Jesamisus]

In the same boat, I don't see any point in continuing this life. Money? Materialism? Being famous? These things don't drive me. Connection does, 26 years of living and that hasn't been attained. So many fake friendships and bad relationships. Met a decent lady for once that made me feel loved and wanted only for someone to get in the way of that. I'm just done, I've fought hard. Ain't gonna keep it up and find myself being 60 feeling the same way as I do now. What a nightmare

[@InfinitusYT]

Totally understand what You are saying, after You've been neglected and mistreated so much You have to draw the line and set boundaries, Even if that means being alone more we must find ways to be happier on our own before We can truly be happy around others I think.

[@Cymricus]

I moved in with my dad when my parents got divorced even though he was terrifying and abusive and also cheated. My mother was neglectful and broke and never at home. My teen mind justified it as “mama can’t handle me anymore,” because even I didn’t understand why I did it. At 30, I realized the belief that my mother hung the moon wasn’t really true and that she has never been able to show me affection. Took a long time to realize it’s not her fault that she is cold, she’s just neurodivergent and I was expecting too much from her. Anyway we seem a lot an alike so I just wanted to comment in solidarity. some of us just have to accept that we are more emotional and negative than others but that life will still go on and over time we do the best we can

[@richiesspeedshop82]

Dude trust me, youre in a perfect position to go in whichever direction you want to go. You have so much freedom.. A lot of men dont have that option and live a life of quiet desperation

[@MUNKIB]

Me too...Years of it. hope you find your way x

[@InfinitusYT]

I hope We both do!! Thank You.

[@HuanLinParkour]

I feel you but the only difference from me is that I will always stay single and I will never have kids or be in a relationship since my passion is more important. As long as I'm making the best out of my life and doing what I love is all that matters. Life sucks and it won't get better but we all have to never give up and just try to hang in there as much as possible since we only have one life. There is nothing after death and you're not alone in this but don't forget that there is way too many bad things and negative things in life than good. Nothing will ever get better since humans are the only problems on this earth. I never worry about what anyone thinks because I know that one day we will all die and nothing will even matter. 💯

[@rob6972]

I know what you're feeling. I have no friends and been threw some crap with people in the past and not trusting anymore. TRUST ME I feel everything you feel. I know there must be others that need someone that needs a true person in their life that are real and not in the games but can't meet anyone. I live alone and with no one around all my family is gone and I'm the only one left and being alone and no family it's even harder.

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear all that, it's difficult to navigate loneliness and isolation in today's society but with the power of the internet anything is possible. I hope You can find some new relationships to fulfill Your needs soon. Living alone is sooo hard

[@brmadden895]

I wish I could give you a hug. But on a more serious note... I struggled with depression throughout my 20's. I actually lived at home with my parents until I was 29, unemployed with very little to my name. I eventually finished college, got a job, moved out, and gradually put myself back together. Nobody else can truly understand what it's like to be in your shoes, because nobody's ever been in your shoes except for you. But whatever you're going through, just know that there's always light at the end of the tunnel, even if that light may seem dim right now. You have a lot going for you. You're young, intelligent, articulate, likeable, and quite attractive. When the right person comes along, you'll have no trouble getting her attention. Don't lose sight of the bright future you have ahead of you.

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank You, I am glad You were able to get through those darker times and got Your life together. It's true only the individual understands themselves fully others can only attempt to understand from their unique perspectives as well. I appreciate the kind words/compliments very much. I won't give up!!

[@mattd6200]

You would be surprised how common your situation is especially in the 2020's. I know what it feels to think that everyone is sailing through life while I'm stuck in the dirt. A good psychiatrist and medication has really helped me (but it's not for everyone). I've also been through some ex-girlfriend pain similar to yours. It lingered for way, way too long, but I eventually got over it and so will you. I still have horrible anxiety around most people because I always assume they are looking down on me and because I think this automatically, it quickly becomes true. I know I have to be less hard on myself. As corny as it sounds, self-love isn't something you give yourself if you are behaving the right way. Self-love and self-empathy should be unconditional and only then will I project a healthy self-esteem onto others. So far this realization is working like a miracle. Bad days will come, but with self-worth it's much easier to bounce back. Good luck in your search!

[@Robert-kz1zx]

Gen x here and just lost my mom..been thru heartache and loneliness especially being only caregiver for last 7 yrs..learn to be alone takes time..u can feel alone with many...Take in the Now..not the past or future..learn to find happiness in being alive...very young...roof over ur head..ur mom is there..my mom had dementia...you're biggest purpose for Now may be the path ur on..find it as the adventure it is..Don't care what other people think..they don't live ur life..peace bro

[@InfinitusYT]

sorry about Your Mom, I can't imagine what that's like quite yet. You are probably right that this is the path I must walk to get where I need to be I should enjoy the ride. much love thanks for being here, peace!

[@pilargomez3247]

Hi, I don't usually comment KZbin videos but the way I felt reflected on you it truly amazed me. I literally wish we could hang out and talk in person and be there for you and try to enjoy things as a team. I send you a huge hug and I wanted you to know that a human in a remote spot in the planet feels almost exactly the same. Lots of love, you deserve so much better (hope it won't take so much longer).

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank you so much!! 🙂

[@steven1671]

This dude looks like he’s about to start a fight club 🤓

[@InfinitusYT]

😂

[@Digital_souvenirs2005]

Oh to hear this is just ahhhhhhhhhh I thought I was the only one but you described just how I feel. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[@InfinitusYT]

WE ARE NOT ALONE!!

[@milindasenora]

I get how you are feeling. I was a caregiver to my mom and now I care for my father. I am stuck with him. You are young, I wish I could tell you the right words to give you hope.

[@nothin5841]

Well man. You can share the things you learnt rit here so that ppl like me who are young could learn

[@InfinitusYT]

That must be difficult, and don't worry about giving Me hope that's My responsibility! Thanks for commenting!

[@chrisstones3488]

At least you have your mum, there's no greater love then a mothers love. There is nothing wrong with living with your mum, i know lots of people who do.

[@InfinitusYT]

Absolutely she is amazing. I have to keep telling myself that it's okay and that I do deserve to be here.

[@lilman0820]

I am so sorry you are going thru this .We all need someone to express our emotions with that understands . I am alone as well and my dog hears it all and always understands and i fell better just venting . Never be ashamed that you have emotions and feelings that is a good thing . People say men don't cry That is just crazy Nothing wrong with showing you have feelings .You are still young and we all make mistakes and learn from them every day and it don't stop because you age . You will find your person one day when you least expect it .Don't give up on yourself my friend Go day by day and try each day to better yourself in some small way even finding something to smile about .I would chat with you any time your a very likeable guy and you have a good heart .

[@InfinitusYT]

I really appreciate Your kind words, thank You so much!! I have learned a lot these past few months and years especially. I am slowly starting to overcome My fears of opening up to people through these videos and even if I don't really talk much about this stuff with people in real life at least I am building a community on KZbin here that I can express these things to and know people relate and care. I think My main issue is that in My life there isn't always someone that is available for Me to talk to or even that I am comfortable talking about these kinds of things with much. My Mom is the only person that is trying to understand and help Me truly and while I am grateful I can't put everything on Her so I have been doing counseling and trying to express myself more through videos which I can make anytime I don't have to wait for people to have time for Me to do this so its a very good outlet for Me personally. Thanks for Your continued support, much love!!

[@user-bb5nk9tg3e]

My very dear friend.I feel so much for you.I think you need to go to your doctor.When you are so depressed.This is a cry for help.I send you all my blessing s.Don’t feel shame and guilt.Life can be hard for years.Been there too.Deep love from Norway♥️

[@InfinitusYT]

I agree, I wish it was easier to see doctors for Me at the moment but virtual counseling is about as much as I can get right this moment. Definitely in the future. Much love!! ♾️❤️

[@user-bb5nk9tg3e]

I woulld recommend anti-depressiva and even Quentiapine( are those available in the US)I I claimed those, and I got much healthier mentally. The thought process stopped, and the quality og life became better.And we simply need something else than our extreme suffering to manage even to get up ftpm the bed in the moring

[@user-bb5nk9tg3e]

What has also helped me, is that I started with D~vitamins.Due to spending a lot of time indoors, we don’t get the vitamine from the sun.This can cause depression anxiety , and mental issues.It is also a hormon. The doctor can prescribe the medication.Talk to your therapist on the topic too Vitamins and minerals are so important to our health

[@InfinitusYT]

@@user-bb5nk9tg3e thanks for Your suggestions, I will definitely talk to doctors when I can. vitamins are absolutely important and i probably havent been getting enough lately either.

[@gemcool16]

I’m currently going through some mystery issue/illness that is ruining my sleep. I’ve been to a and e with huge panic attacks. I’ve made mistakes and I look back and get that same feeling. Please don’t beat yourself up for not having specific things. There are no “shoulds” but I understand the pressure or society to have achieved certain things by a certain age. Making choices as a child during divorcee etc is so much more complex than we can give credit to. Children make decisions based on what is happening at the time, some of the nuances don’t all stand out. I stuck by my Dad when I should not have, he turned out to be so much more abusive than I even knew. Please please don’t beat yourself up for not knowing it all. You’re right about being lost as a parent, we’re all just guessing; there’s no rule book. I’m sorry you feel this way. Depression is as deep as it is dark. I’m hanging on by a thread through my suffering at the moment. Honestly I’m terrified. Hang on in there too. You are worth it and so am I, even if we don’t always feel like it.

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear about Your mystery illness, I hope You feel better soon! I will try to be kinder to myself about the decisions I've made when I was just younger and naive. I won't give up on Myself, and I hope You don't either. Thanks so much for the kind words it means so much!!

[@InfinitusYT]

I can get scared sometimes too, but the greatest prizes are always behind the biggest challenges.

[@z1mvad3r]

I feel this. Im in a similar situation. Not with the injuries but mentally and emotionally. I feel stuck and alone too

[@peacelilly739]

You're expressing yourself. You're being heard. You're being seen. You are a very courageous person for sharing your thoughts and feelings in this way. I'm here for you. We all make mistakes. Some of us learn from this. You're doing great. Should have....Would have....Could have...and comparison to others is not helpful, in any way. You are an amazing human being. 🍀

[@InfinitusYT]

I appreciate it, thank You!! 🙏

[@user-xh9oq5zn9y]

you're not alone. I hope a better future for all of us

[@Jennifer-ly6pj]

Hi there. I'd like to make two points that I hope are helpful. If you're 26, you've only had your adult brain for about a year. Please consider forgiving yourself for whatever transgressions took place before - you are literally a different person from then and will continue to grow and evolve, treating younger versions of yourself with more compassion as time goes on. Two, I'm very sorry for the emotional burden you've carried being between your two parents. The optimism and innocence of childhood kind of disappears with things like that, and you can't help what you're aware of. Also, things like pain and loneliness feel embarrassing, so we keep them private. I imagine most people struggle to forgive themselves for things they don't talk about, but you wouldn't know. This is brave of you to share, wishing you good things

[@InfinitusYT]

I really appreciate Your comment. I am trying my best to be kinder to myself for mistakes and situations like family and relationship issues. I wish it was more normalized for men to open up about things like this but that's why I am doing it and it helps to vent without putting it all on My Mom and the people close to Me.

[@Malachi_Padilla]

This is so relatable. Honestly, I still have feelings for an ex that I left in 2020. Like you said, it feels embarrassing to admit, but it’s the truth. Wish I could help bro.

[@Moomintravel]

😊 You are not alone 😊

[@PreciousHuddle]

I related to a lot of the stuff you said. Thank you for being brave enough to upload this video for the rest of us who feel the same as well. I hope things turn out for the better for all of us.

[@InfinitusYT]

You're so welcome, I know things will get better if We just stay positive and work towards something good!

[@gratefulagoraphobe]

I recently started documenting my journey here. I have debilitating mental health issues that have dominated me for 20 years. It's very hard to be open about stuff like this. I've always been very embarrassed and ashamed of my problems. You are not alone ❤

[@InfinitusYT]

I'm glad to hear You have started to document Your own journey, I think many people could benefit from doing so. We can do this together!!

[@gratefulagoraphobe]

@@InfinitusYT Absolutely ❤

[@camerons6466]

In the 1960s 1970s and later people hung out together Back then they had hippies Now we got gen z Go watch the movie the warriors Go watch assault on precinct 13 Those are some 1970s movies Your going to notice groups of people People who can relate to each other and enjoy each other’s company

[@Tom10158]

Hang in there brother. Your story moved my heart. You will be ok. Keep reaching out

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank you, I will!

[@therodentryresistance95]

I've been feeling lonely for like 10 years now. As someone said before in one of the comments, i wish one day we could all find peace.

[@InfinitusYT]

It seems like it never ends sometimes. But We need to be more open and honest about this stuff or things won't ever change!! One day I Believe will all find peace one way or another.

[@farragoprismproductions3337]

I'm 19 and I feel the exact same way in a somewhat similar situation. Trust me, a lot more people feel pathetic about this situation than you think like holy fruck. Not on you though. Stay safe. These feelings usually arise when I'm just getting out of bed. I haven't found a way to deal with them, but I think it might be a new norm. oh no. I think this is not only a you problem, but anyone would say that. Don't take my word for it, but I think this is a systemic problem I believe, associated with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. All the doomers and gooners and perhaps groomers are literally the worst aspects of society in terms of these needs not being met. L + ratio? Yeah I guess, but just remember that, for now. Also, one self-quote of mine that applied to me when it came to loneliness. I'm not you, but maybe this is for you to see for yourself if it applies the same: *"Many people don't have their loneliness satiated because they don't help satiate others'."* And yeah, we're doomed. *_Guitar rift_* (edit: I still struggle with loneliness as of writing this. But I touched based with someone on discord. Perhaps it'll go somewhere)

[@kengineer12]

Hey!! I’ve been living alone since I was 17 years old. My friends can not relate with the abuse and the stuff I’ve been through. I am 18 years old now, and I feel just like you. Keep your head up, life sucks a lot, but take part in the small moments. Make a schedule. Don’t busy yourself but definitely look toward the things you can do, you can take a walk. You can make the videos you’re doing now. You can do things. ❤

[@InfinitusYT]

Congrats on being out on Your own it takes a lot of strength and courage to maintain that for sure, I am doing everything I can do keep myself busy and move towards a better life. You are so young You should be very proud of Yourself for what You have accomplished!

[@brianamars7]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Meditation has helped me a lot.

[@InfinitusYT]

It all will pass, I definitely need to meditate more I haven't done it enough!

[@123lowp]

@@InfinitusYT Sam Harris's meditation app is pure gold. Sam will grant a subscription for free with no questions asked if you request it.

[@Mick-ke1kv]

I'm in ireland but I feel your pain. Sending love and good wishes

[@InfinitusYT]

Cheers to Ireland from the US. I love Irish accents lol

[@dmarkel92]

Hey Brandon, I don’t know how you got shuffled into my algorithm, but I know how you feel and I have been there. I think first you should try not to find your identity and self-worth in others…that is a bottomless pit. You are more than who rejected, or pushed you out. Rejection always brings direction. Don’t be afraid to start all over again and do something completely different. Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself. Some of the greats didn’t discover their gifts or talents until they were well into their 30s or 40s…so you are just getting started. I don’t know your religious beliefs, but I’m a firm believer that we don’t truly know who we are until we invite Christ in our lives. I implore you to read the book of Romans to understand who Christ really is and what he wants to do through you.

[@InfinitusYT]

I will consider looking more into Christ, I just have never really been religious and not much of a reader lol so it's hard. I appreciate Your kind words and advice. Thank You

[@dmarkel92]

@@InfinitusYT Amen brother! Well if you don’t get anything else, get Romans 10:9: if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is lord and believe God raised him from the dead you are saved. He’ll change your life!!! Be blessed 🙏🏾.

[@caffeinatedhuman4035]

Life pathways out...how to spend your energy (1) Life in hindsight... (2) Alot of people say the magic words...if I had a time machine (3) What would I tell my younger self to do? (4) The problem with that is people engage in fantasy thinking (5) So the question is what was the average looser ability to realistically change? (6) Sometimes life is about actions (7) Sometimes life is about inactions (8) You are not "Obligated" to follow the mainstream for your life. (9) You seem to have "Issues" (10) My suggestion to you is "IF" you had a bad childhood (11) If you do not have many happy memories (12) Do not have children (13) Im not saying having children is bad (14) But having Children is a life long intensive commitment (15) It is something that requires spending energy. (16) Your best bet is to be a good\great uncle instead of a parent (17) Then you can spend time fixing your self. (18) Only interacting with other people children "When you have the energy" (19) Which will may their children want to be around you more. (20) The parents love it as well (21) Who doesnt love a free baby sitter and some time off? (22) Its the best of both worlds (23) Now that also comes with problems getting a partner. (24) Most woman want children (25) Alot of them have them (26) Then end up break up with their original partner... co-parent (27) Finding a woman who does not want children is hard... (27.1) However that is what I suggest you do (28) Spend your time focusing instead on making money. (29) Getting qualified (30) Getting a job.... (31) So long as you stay off the things that could turn your life negative. (32) No drug...No drinks...No cigarettes... (33) Also remember...try not to get to addicted to Tv\youtube and video games. (34) Good generic advice from a random nobody. (35) I am not a winner in life (36) I am not average in life (37) I am still a bit of a looser.... (38) By not having children I did damage control (39) I could have been more of a looser than what I already am.

[@InfinitusYT]

I appreciate Your insight, I will do My best!!

[@deonbeattie3343]

Omnia tempus habent, et suis spatiis transeunt universa sub caelo.

[@scome98]

First don't be embarrassed. I feel society has become very complex in some ways (by design?) and is failing many. We are hyper connected everyday, yet more disconnected than never. We all struggle in the early days of our adult lives as we try to forge a path forward. The connections and people we meet help us navigate for the path we walk. But sometimes, a reset, a few step backs are necessary to change the course for the better. I just stumbled across this video and feel extremely sad for you. I don't know anything else about you but the first 6 minutes of this video. I'd like to reach through the screen and help or understand more and cheer you up, show you some paths, some ideas, share some experiences, understand more. Everyone has a unique experience, but it seems lately that this is becoming a norm, a trend. Something is broken. We need to work together and help each other. How can we connect?

[@InfinitusYT]

I completely agree, maybe I will try linking to My Instagram on my channel and people can try to DM me that way. I'll let You know when I do, just stay tuned! Lol

[@chadmarcel5963]

I think you will be OK - you seem very intelligent, are well spoken, and also appear to be very self-aware of what’s bothering you and what you need to do to feel better. Please don’t be so hard on yourself and feel guilty or ashamed for having these feelings - they are valid and need to be taken care of. I’ve felt ALL of what you’re describing and still struggle sometimes. It doesn’t happen overnight, but try to be good to yourself - practice self care and self compassion and some patience with yourself - you will get to where you want to be! Just trying to think of something you can do - it seems like you don’t feel in control. Do you have a big Hobby/Passion/Something you just Love to do? Maybe you can start a group/be the group leader - even if it’s online - of other people who share your passion - great way to meet new people/friends and it will be a distraction and give you some meaning. Maybe start with the Meetup App? Just one suggestion :) I’m so sorry you feel so sad .. but You’ll Be Fine - HUGS!!!!!

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank You for the kind words and suggestions, KZbin is My passion so just making videos and them being seen by people on the platform is giving Me more motivation and hope. I will try and foster a great community here for everyone involved. as the channel grows in size I will start looking into things like maybe a reddit and a discord for people to meet and talk to eachother more easily. much love!! thanks for being here.

[@chadmarcel5963]

@@InfinitusYTHey - feel free to reach out anytime 😊

[@dorojessy6932]

Sometimes you just need a connection to unload.

[@LEONARDO-xs2ke]

If you have lot of free time. This is heaven. You can meditate a lot

[@InfinitusYT]

true

[@RamaWick]

Hey, how’s it going, just passing by to let you know you’re not alone, there are many of us, you are not fighting this alone. Hang in there, I can relate to all you’ve said, stay strong. Peace

[@leon_.ro2000]

You're not alone. ❤

[@monotumn]

🧡

[@DoctorDerp6969]

hang in there man

[@InfinitusYT]

I will!

[@jennylee-d1s]

I love your voice, Brandon. It's unbelievably soothing. I just came out of 13 years of depression and suicidal thoughts. One day, I was laid on my sofa having suicidal thoughts and to interrupt the thoughts because I thought my thoughts were going to make me k*ll myself, and so I kept saying "help me God, Please help me God" repeatedly, and suddenly I felt the mighty presence of God and His Love surrounding me and then I experienced a deep mental peace, and then 4 days later I was thinking 'hey, I've not had a suicidal thought for 4 days', and then two weeks later, the same, then 1 year later (around about now since I was healed in a minute by God in April 2023). God healed 13 years of suicidal depression in about 1 min and it's never come back. I'm not talking about the biblical God though, I'm talking about the God in a book called 'A Course in Miracles'. It really was a miraculous healing. I sincerely wish the best for you. I feel a deep compassion for you and your condition because I've been there, in the pits of despair and complete darkness. It was a dark night of the soul for 13 years. Do you believe in a higher power that can heal you? Sorry if that's a weird question. No worries if you don't answer, I understand. I only ask just in case you do believe and wanted to try and ask for yourself to be healed. Sorry if I sound crazy. It's not something I tell just anyone as they either think I'm weird or won't believe me, but it's the absolute truth. Lots of love, Brandon. Take care of yourself. 🤍

[@InfinitusYT]

I'm really glad that God came through for You, I believe in a higher power but it also flows through Me so I know that gives Me the power to overcome these things on My own as well. Hope that makes sense, I am not really religious but definitely spiritually inclined. I lean more towards Buddhism at the moment.

[@valerykalkey]

I'll keep it simple, you are still young and have enough time to change course of your life. The least helpful thing to do is comparing yourself with other people's achievements, because that can really drive you mad and into a doom spiral but it can also be a motivating factor for some people. It's really individualistic based on your personality and phenotype, some people feed on other people's success and it drives them.. for other's it's a reminder of their own failures. The world is huge, if your life feels stale or you feel sheltered then going on a trip to a different part of the world can really open your eyes to new perspectives and it can be a humbling experience. It's not a huge investment, and can open the door to new possibilities and outlook on life. Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to breathe a moment. Best of luck.

[@valerykalkey]

Developing a daily routine of healthy eating, plenty of sunlight and sleep hygiene and some kind of physical activity will go a long way towards fixing mental health. There is alot that happens under the hood biochemically in our bodies, so disrupting those things chronically will absolutely wreck your health physically and mentally. Speaking from experience, it's so much easier to do preventative measures before everything goes downhill significantly than trying to pick up the pieces of your life after it's been shattered.

[@InfinitusYT]

Thanks for Your understanding, it would be a breath of fresh air to do some travelling and take You guys with Me for sure.

[@lorgnetteify]

It's the money. I'm going through the same. Situational money depression. You can't build relationships; friendships; can't do nothing because it's a security thing. I mean it could be something else, but I've been monitoring triggers since a recent episode begun and it leads to financial insecurity. I'm not young anymore like you, I hope you can figure something out before you get to my age though.

[@alexandrabellerose3550]

Money is important to be functional in this life, but it won't turn mentally damaged person into healthy person. If you have genetic flaws, environmental traumas it will take much more than money to overcome it.

[@lorgnetteify]

@@alexandrabellerose3550 Do you think it helps a little at least over a long period of time? Like I feel everything will improve somehow. I have many genetic flaws unfortunately but I've come to accept them a long time ago. Thank goodness. Acceptance is healing.

[@InfinitusYT]

Income is a lot harder to maintain when You have physical and mental health issues but yeah if I had some money I would feel a lot more secure and be able to do a lot more for myself which would improve independence and confidence. Just a function of society really.

[@user-wp5qo6qg7q]

Hang in there man, talk to a therapist, seek help, lots of water, Same here, anger, enraged, obsessing over work. Trying to have a good balance. Having a mental break down. I understand your depression. Can’t be understood, dealing with criticism at work. Trying to balance life, work, hobbies, etc. Family not understanding at times. Quite unnerving.

[@InfinitusYT]

Sorry to hear it, I wish people were more more caring about each other's struggles instead of just saying things like oh we all have problems welcome to the club and deal with it etc etc.

[@jjmack6563]

I understand your pain 😢 But you are so young yet. Im 55 and have been alone since being put in care at the age of 14. I don't want to leave my dogs but i don't want to be here anymore either.

[@InfinitusYT]

I am sorry to hear You have been dealing with this so long. I hope You can find some things to keep going for. by care do You mean like foster care? that must be difficult to deal with. We can find ways to alleviate our loneliness together, don't give up!

[@jjmack6563]

@@InfinitusYT yes I was in foster care till I got my own flat at 17. Bless you 🙏

[@summerchildmid90s]

I'm sorry, this is long. I am where you're at. Unemploymed, I dropped out of college twice, and have had horrible experiences with a lot of people. All this, is some of it. Got diagnosed with severe depression in 2018, at 22. The people I message, or call, they almost never answer. One is in a bad relationship, and the other three who are in different states, have fully independent lives. I have no clue how they did it. I've been going to therapy, and have been on meds for a while, too. I understand the embarrassment. Mental health is such a stigmatized thing. It's ridiculous, because now that people know about it, a lot of them wear a diagnosis as a badge of honor. It really sucks, finding someone and connecting with them and then the connection dies. I haven't worked since March 1st. I dropped out of college twice and wrecked my, and my mother's credit. The job thing, I've had a lot over the course of 9 years. And I've been put on a psych hold 3 times while I was literally, at work. I so understand the embarrassment of living with your mom. I still live with mine, and I just turned 28. I was first molested at 5, then again at 13-14. I feel like since you live with your mom, she has forgiven you on some level. I've moved around a lot. When my mom had my brother, it was 1991. She was 20, and married my dad in '89. My mother is gay. She was raised in UPC. Being gay and UPC is not great. Anyway, she thought that my father was a stable, sane person (he's not), and married him thinking it was good for her, and God. Then, in 1999, him and my mother separated. My mom moved herself, my brother and I, halfway across the country to Topeka. She came out like, a year later and got into a relationship with a friend she had made FROM A CHATROOM. And this woman who I will call T, she had severe anger issues. In fact, a lot of my childhood trauma came from that arduous, 6 year time period. There was a lot of abuse. When they separated, we moved, again! To Ohio, with a woman who will be referred to as S. She met them at the same time (in '99) in the chatroom. T was a very jealous, and controlling person. She did not like that my mother was friends with S, and has been jealous for years. The night they separated, it all came to a head and she broke my Mother's nose in front of me. There was a lot of blood... S, however, she is..man...if there is things I would NEVER wish upon someone, those things are schizophrenia and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. S, had the latter. Her and Mother were together for 3 years, plus a 5 month stalemate. In 2011, my Aunt was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. S got mad that she wasn't center stage anymore, and tried to tell people she was faking. Like...wtf, who says that without any credibility? My Aunt now lives with a permanent colostomy. The 5 month stalemate is when my mom flew out to the bay to take care of my Aunt, and then S got real angry, and said she was kicking me and my brother out. So, my mother panicked and flew me and my brother out. The whole time we were there, S kept harassing my mom for 2 months until she gave in and we flew back. Then, at the 5th month mark, S steals my Mother's phone and tries to blackmail my Mother by sending a nasty message to everyone in her contacts. Anyway, I'm going to fast forward to now. I am on 6 medications. Depression wasn't my only diagnosis. I was also diagnosed with ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, PTSD, and OCD. The meds are alright, but my problems are complex and also require intense therapy. The therapy has helped, A LOT. I'm in dialectical behavioral therapy, I've been doing it on occasion since 2020. I finally realized how to utilize the skills that get taught in the therapy sessions.

[@InfinitusYT]

Hey, I read everything and Jeez I couldn't imagine going through all of that. That's a lot of co-morbid disorders to be diagnosed with all together that must have been hell before starting treatment. I am so glad therapy and meds combined are making a difference for You!! I have an online diagnosis at least for ADHD but am currently untreated at the moment so I hope one day I can find a good doctor that can help Me with meds if needed and especially some more specialized therapy as the counseling I am getting now, while good isn't exactly able to do much than just talk with Me.

[@InfinitusYT]

You are incredibly strong to have gone through all of that and pursued all the help You are receiving now!!

[@jonathankgakgo3575]

I can relate to the feeling as a men... as much you have done mistakes it's not all your fault... the world is messed up...men are mistreated and a lot of damage has been done by society...but this too shall pass. David Goggins saved my life when I felt hopeless. Good luck

[@colton_936]

You are exactly like me, 😂❤🫶 27 and single for 4 years, Crohn’s disease, and I am just starting a new job after not working for the last year living with my parents. I’m digging myself out of the hole of loneliness too. You will get through it if you go through it. When I look back at the hard times I wish I would have just taken more time to enjoy them for what they are.

[@user-jz6to8md3c]

I have crohns also.

[@InfinitusYT]

I'm glad You can relate with Me, I can't imagine dealing with Crohn's. Glad You got a new job that's a sure confidence booster! We got this brother!! I am trying to stop worrying so much and just live and work through the present moment instead of ruminating on the past so much. And not living and being totally alone all the time helps so I am grateful to My Mom for letting Me stay here again even if things aren't ideal for Me it's better than the alternative that's for sure!

[@jacc2512]

Stay safe brother, I know it's really tough cause I just went through a depressive disorder a while ago, just find some small things to do to keep up with your life. Cant advise much but I suggest you talk to a therapist or seeking mental health service if applicable. Wish all the best!

[@InfinitusYT]

Thanks, I will! It's not easy but I am getting counseling at the moment which has been helping and making videos and such helps a lot too. Thanks for the support!

[@Pete23269]

life is hard But we're Harder! 💯💪🤙 Let's get it man! I had to change My mindset 💯

[@awakelingsignals]

Be gentle with yourself, friend. Be gentle. Big hug

[@InfinitusYT]

Trying to man, I think I am doing a lot better at being kind to myself because I used to be so negative but I understand myself so much more than I did back then and that allows Me to treat myself better! Appreciate the hug 🤗🫂

[@awakelingsignals]

@@InfinitusYT on behalf of your past and future self, thank you for putting in the effort and energy to be more understanding and helping us heal.

[@user-ht3di4iz2l]

Maybe you could try out a Bruderhof community or join a church/church group.

[@gregdescant4121]

5:03 Im so sorry youre not feeling well.i really hope things start getting better for you soon.i dont know how you feel but i hope you feel better soon

[@InfinitusYT]

Thank You Greg. I am feeling better now. just gotta keep working on moving forward.

[@petermackillop4599]

No job, no money, no girlfriend, parents paying your way through life -- I'd be pretty depressed too. I'd also be motivated to get work, any kind of work, to make money and start saving. If I were your parents, a condition of living at home would be for you to get a job within a certain period of time. No job by a certain time, you have to go. This may mean taking a job or multiple jobs you don't like, until you can find job(s) you do like. And then working your butt off. Time to hustle, young man. You'll be perpetually depressed if you continue to let your parents pay your way through life.

[@sonnykruger3506]

I don't know why this showed up for me, but I have Faith everything happens for a reason. Don't give up. 26 is very young. You've got a lot of life left to live. When it comes to love, you'll find it when you least expect it. As for having people to talk with, I suggest joining some groups of things you like. For instance, I love comics and have found some amazing friends I chat with every day because of groups I joined on Facebook.

[@InfinitusYT]

I believe that too, definitely not giving up anytime soon. I know love will come at the right time. Thanks for the suggestion, I haven't been using Facebook a ton lately but maybe I'll give it a shot sometime!

[@sonnykruger3506]

@@InfinitusYT Happy to hear it!

[@Wonderman62]

B...I heard gluten can have effects similar to depression and ADHD.....Care..Eileen...

[@InfinitusYT]

Thanks for the heads up!!