Apocalypse Review

Hagan Reviews Episode 40.
Hagan watches some truly awful Rapture Movies. Part 1 of the Apocalypse Quadrilogy.
This has been re-uploaded in HD!
Want to make a request?: / diamandahagan

[@stairwayunicorn4861]

Knock knock. Whose there? Jesus Christ. Let me in, I need to save you. From what? From what I'm going to do to you if you don't let me in.

[@FuzakeTakeda]

Wow. I remember this being offered for sale during late night/early morning television religious programming. The seriousness with which this was peddled as some sort of prophetic vision of the End Times was hilarious.

[@Victorblud]

You know what I realized as well? What military would allow a news journalist into a strategic planning session complete with high ranking personnel and classified intelligence and troop movements, locations, and so on and so on and so on? Do...do these people think that "Free Press" means you can get into anywhere you want?

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

I just wanted to watch this review again, but the cissexual gynophile joke reminded me that this was the first time I'd ever heard the word "cissexual". Looking it up actually taught me a lot more about LGBT terms and community norms than I ever knew. So thanks for that. You made me a more knowledgeable person

[@DiamandaHagan]

Lovely to hear :)

[@ryandowney8743]

Block of wood vs Bowl of soup: Whoever wins we lose.

[@patrickkelmer6290]

17:34 why do evangelicals believe that rabbis wear the prayer shawl all the time?

[@raymondhamill270]

Rabbi stereotype maybe?

[@dylanchouinard6141]

Because there’s NO OTHER WAY to tell if a man is a religious Jew! There are absolutely no other religious clothing that Jewish men wear more frequently than a Tallit!

[@ZannyAisling]

honestly what annoys me most about this sorta movie after like 5 or 6 years of knowing about the genre's existence is that in the universe of the movies noone except a very very very specific subset of christians seem to know what the idea of the rapture is. i mean i'm jewish and think the idea of the rapture is frankly stupid at best and morally reprehensible at worst so i don't think g-d/god/christ/other deities would do it, but i'd still recognize the/a rapture if it happened!! its like the people in this movie never even heard of fundamentalist christianity before!

[@Linklex7]

Yeah. Kinda reminds me of how most zombie movies and shows have to pretend Night of the Living Dead never happened, cause otherwise folks would know what’s up and how to deal with it.

[@400KrispyKremes]

Great Spoony cameo. It rounds off a great review. I miss Spoony. I never would have guessed he would flush his channel right down the toilet. Eh, at least we still have Diamanda, and for that I thank God. So on that note, thank you Diamanda Hagen.

[@Tareltonlives]

+400KrispyKremes Well, when he does do videos, they're great

[@kayleighbrown459]

Guess Spoony just doesn't like reviewing any more. Everyone has to stop sometime

[@olivermarijuanajones5041]

Watch the 'down the rabbit hole' about him, its pretty grim and unflattering...

[@elinfini]

4:43 That was actually a pretty accurate analogy. Well done, mistress.

[@deloctyte]

23:35, audio goes wonky. The review itself, of course, is as great as always! :D

[@DiamandaHagan]

+deloctyte Yeah, Im sorry. its because KZbin made me remove the end creds music :(

[@Nightshift10000]

Diamanda - Excuse me, I work for Lucifer. Me - Yeah so what, I work for Cthuhlu!!

[@CynicalBastard47]

Tell me i'm not the only one hearing this. The guy singing during the title card sounds like he's shouting "HE'S A LIE! HE'S A LIE!"

[@carribob1992]

11:11 Guessing this is a reference to David Icke on Terry Wogan's TV Show.

[@Tareltonlives]

One of my favorite reviews

[@westheriault3797]

I'm having a mediocre day so I've returned to this particular series

[@Eliel20117]

can you upload your apocalypse ii review again? mirror that link!

[@TUPRBABE]

Holy shit, somebody get me Insano's number ... I want a Spoony clone!

[@adamshirk8562]

Oh and HAIL HAGAN!

[@kingextreme88]

This makes me realize why Say Goodnight Kevin hasn't covered this film yet. I'd imagine his reaction how cheesy this kind of acting would be.

[@johnockershausen3951]

Hey, where are the other Apocalypse reviews?

[@DiamandaHagan]

Blocked at some point and I didn't see a message telling me, thanks for the heads up. I've challenged and hopefully they'll be visible soonish. Usually a video is visible a day or 2 after challenge until the person who blocked it makes their decision so check back in a day or two.

[@johnockershausen3951]

@@DiamandaHagan Alright

[@kramermariav]

And a Star Trek V reference! You're awesome.

[@DiamandaHagan]

Thanks :)

[@criminallyautistic8372]

@@DiamandaHagan I love you Mistress.

[@kramermariav]

That chin...is it real? It's hypnotic...

[@matrixman124]

I love your end of the world movie reviews lol

[@cbrtMetallicA420]

I was shown these movies in bible school (cringe). Thank you for these reviews, Mistress!

[@UndeadHavoc1]

21:25 I just imagined that random guy being Charlie Sheen, and having some random conversation with himself about how he's on drugs - drugs called Charlie Sheen. I don't know why or how, but I feel like it would've made this movie worth it. I've always wondered as to why the Anti-Christ is never regarded as being a completely insane homeless man who spews out gibberish, occasionally layered with scriptures and bits of wisdom, as opposed to a politician. I also wonder that if most religious people - including those who make these movies - believe in these things, that if at any point they're concerned that they may only be presenting the most obvious situations where the sort of thing may occur, and that Lucy - should he ever be watching - would simply grow a brain and try alternative methods. Seems like the ideal message is that he'll go the obvious routes, and will be easily identifiable. But what if he wears glasses, a black hat, a red "I'm a lesbian!" tie, and reviews movies on the internet? I doubt Doug's the devil, but jus' sayin' - the possibilities :o

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

It bugs me whenever people refer to an individual, singular Antichrist. Just so we're clear, I'm not bugged because the idea of a creature polar opposite in idealogy to the popular idea of Jesus repulses me. It does make me uncomfortable that nihilism is a thing, but that's not what bugs me. What bugs me is that in the Bible's own words, "antichrist" refers to people who are against Christian religion, in the same way that "anti-establishment" refers to people who are against established forms of government. In neither case are the people being referred to necessarily evil, it just means that they are opposed to a particular ideal or belief. Sorry, just had to say it.

[@UndeadHavoc1]

Sorry it bugged you; I'm not very learned in the Bible, as you can prolly tell x3 I'd always imagined that having 'the' prior to Antichrist may imply an actual 'the' as a certain individual who stands out - for instance, 'a president' which may imply an individual who owns / oversees a relatively non-distinct company (or in the case of American government, any non-specific president over the course of time) while 'the president' implies a slightly more specific individual who can be easily identified. Not trying to be an ass or argue, I'm very very sorry if I am (not trying to be sarcastic, either), but I'll take your word for it (that It refers to the general populous, not a particular individual) :D Learnin' somethin' new every day, I tell ya :3

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

Saroe No biggie, just my pet peeve. Sorry for bitching you out like that : /

[@bigronnie9629]

Still my favorite review

[@patrickkelmer6290]

I think Leigh Lewis performance as the lead in the Apocalypse Saga can be put into the trope "took the bad movie serious"

[@jessaminehaak8253]

This Antichrist SUCKS compared to Nicolae. He doesn't even hit on the main guy!

[@WAX1138]

So when you doing Apocalypse 2, the one about vr?

[@DiamandaHagan]

Ooooh years and years ago. I did all 4 in a row. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZCXd6afhMZ4r7M

[@WikiSorcerer]

Whatever happened to Spoony, anyway?

[@mr.classified6167]

How are you not out of minions? You've killed a shit ton of them.

[@scitechian]

They reproduce faster than Orcs. That's my headcanon, anyway.

[@criminallyautistic8372]

@@scitechian I heard that it takes an Orc 3 days to reproduce. Neat.

[@Psofan220]

I thought this review was already up what happened?

[@aaairsoftmedia]

+Psofan220 yes she did already review this.

[@Psofan220]

Ok as long as I'm not going crazy... Yet

[@DiamandaHagan]

+Psofan220 Its an HD repload. Im still working on the next ep!

[@Psofan220]

+DiamandaHagan wow I didn't even notice thanks for the reply

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

+DiamandaHagan You're doing the Lord's work, mistress.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Is this a new review or a re-upload? I wish these were numbered... I

[@DiamandaHagan]

+Swift Nimblefoot Its a reupload. Here's the most complete list of movie reviews Iv done fuckyeahdiamandahagan.tumblr.com/post/141868566353/when-an-empress-gets-robbed

[@lumen8341]

That's not Comic Sans, Mis-- *is shot*

[@kramermariav]

Nice namedrop of the rules of acquisition

[@RaccoonRevolution]

It figures Jack Van Impe was involved in this trainwreck.

[@cybertek3188]

The J-Walker Lmao

[@AuroDHikoshi]

That's cute, the film makers thing Japan is a good place to show... yeah according to Wikipedia a very small number half of the country is Shinto and another 38~ is Buddist...

[@pdingdong33]

God i miss this intro 😍

[@MsDjessa]

1:39 Of course this was before God's Not Dead and other modern Christian movies.

[@AlexBabbage]

Of course Jack and Rexella Van Impe would appear in this movie.

[@ShadeMeadows]

RISE.

[@aaairsoftmedia]

wow you are doing pretty good even though a declaration of war was declared on you from an airsoft critic and a die hard otaku.

[@DiamandaHagan]

+Airsoft AL Ahh but they declared war on the evil country of 'Haganstain'. We in Haganistan are prod to stand beside the Otaku nation and hope those criminals are brought to violent justice.

[@aaairsoftmedia]

are you trying to pull a starwars mind trick on me oh evil one who would kill faceless minions just to try and find joy in her life ?

[@DiamandaHagan]

+Airsoft AL I'm doing nothing but trying to work out why it sounds like an Innocent country half a world away is under attack by giant robots. And trying to find 'Haganstain' on a map (so we can join in the attack).

[@aaairsoftmedia]

well ill give ya a hint your deep behind enemy territory (relgious nation ) in which the European Otaku union is fighting with the United Gamer Kingdom to try and make our world free so people my live as free citizens of what ever faction frees you first.

[@tyson263]

Haganstain is a place ?...huh well....what do I call bloodsplatter now ?

[@AuroDHikoshi]

Why is it either EU or UN ... why not President of the USA or somethign their side... or guy who runs Australia?

[@DiamandaHagan]

Because the EU is European and therefore godless or something.

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

Because all good Americans are good God-fearing Christians, and there's no way the President couldn't be a good, God-fearing American. ...or so the writer thinks, anyway.

[@anjetto1]

Probably because the EU and UN sound scary. I know a lot of devout Christians who think the UN are just waiting to march troops into America and take over. Or think the head of the UN is a planetary tyrant and only the USA stands apart from it. I moved to the states just after Obama was elected and people told me to leave because Pakistan was going to invade.

[@drift2196]

FIRST.....HAIL HAGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@nameless5413]

awww back when SpoonyOne was not a complete joke (yet). I miss his comedic prime.

[@ellnats]

jesus Christ woman what is all that crazy shit in your intro?

[@DiamandaHagan]

Crazy shit from movies I reviewed!