Dietitian Reacts to "My 600 Pound Life" (I finally need to talk about this…)

[@EvaOstrava]

I never understood why they always had to include footage of them showering or bathing. It seem so degrading…

[@rosehubbard5957]

Apparently TLC offers them more money to do so.

[@Laura-tv2dx]

I've seen this argument before. I've landed on the side of they have autonomy just like anyone else. Just like you can't tell a stripper it's morally wrong for them to show their body. You can't tell the people on this show they can't show their body either. Even though it may seem like voyeurism to us. The participants have a agreed to show their bodies and exchange for money and they have that right. I hope that makes sense.

[@mushy470]

@@Laura-tv2dx if tlc offers them more money it's probably because that means it'll get more watchers. That just means it's the general public demanding this degradation

[@Laura-tv2dx]

@@mushy470 Yes. But at the same time we're not supposed to shame adults for consensual sexual activities and preferences. I just feel like if you say this is wrong, then you have to keep the same energy for other similar situations. And then we could just end up moralizing any sort of sexual act or preference that is degrading in *our* opinion.

[@mushy470]

@@Laura-tv2dx I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm not saying it's wrong or right. I'm just saying that it's really the watchers who demand to see that stuff. It's not the network just doing it randomly to be degrading. They only show it because people want to see it and that's quite twisted

[@kristinkennedy3499]

Really every person I’ve ever seen on there experienced trauma in early years- I wish they’d give everyone on the show a therapist and registered dietician on day 1

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I wish they did that too!

[@92Sunbird]

I’ve noticed in more recent episodes the little Dr guy does get them set up with a therapist.

[@LindsayB1997]

They do get a therapist if thy say they are struggling but most refuse to go or won't do as the therapist said but I think they do get a dietician

[@MeredithDomzalski]

@ashoftomorrow My understanding is that many obesity docs recommend losing 5-10% of body weight, not getting to "normal" weight because that won't be sustainable, and even losing some weight and cycling less will give people better outcomes.

[@GFAprodite]

He Usually Does It After Their Second Appointment-After One Month, When He See Them Struggling To Lose Weight y They Tell Him Why. A Dietitian Provides Them With Their Meal Plan.

[@faunstudio]

Roxane Gay wrote: “I began eating to change my body. Some boys had destroyed me, and I barely survived it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to endure another such violation, and so I ate because I thought that if my body became repulsive, I could keep men away.”

[@Pearlygirl0]

That book was devastating. She’s an incredible author

[@xDuchessGabriellex]

@@Pearlygirl0 what book is this?

[@friesxnxcoke]

That break my heart for her.

[@angelaferguson2305]

I know two women personally that went through the same thing 😔

[@faunstudio]

@@xDuchessGabriellex it’s called Hunger by Roxane Gay. One of the most impactful memoirs I’ve ever read

[@jessicalillard-waugh283]

Abbey, I wish I could hug you right now. As a morbidly obese person who experienced immense childhood trauma and has also had weight loss surgery I agree with every point you made. When I was 24 I was approved for and had weight loss surgery. I was almost 500 pounds. I had to see a psychiatrist to be approved but there was no followup care. I went from being able to use food to cope to being a sinking ship overnight. I lost weight but developed other risky behavior. My mental health seriously declined. Its 15 years later and I have gained weight back, have serious medical issues, but I am working on my mental health. Audiences of these shows need to understand these are real people, they are desperate, and are under the impression that loosing weight will solve their problems. It doesn't. I wish our Healthcare system provided adequate care for people in this situation. I would have loved to have been provided adequate mental healthcare, dietary education and support, and screenings for o Other weight gain causing health issues but instead my insurance would only pay for the surgery. And I was told I was lucky. We can and should do better. Everyone deserves the chance to be healthy and happy.

[@jlh5310]

I wish I could hug you and let you know that you’re loved 🥰

[@jessicalillard-waugh283]

@@jlh5310 thank you!

[@jessicalillard-waugh283]

@@emilyd7119 I will have to check her out. I didn't have sleeve surgery and my surgery experience was probably much different then those who are currently in the process but it can't hurt to take a look. Thank you!

[@lynncrf]

@@jessicalillard-waugh283 Jessica, I totally agree about other physical health conditions causing weight gain. A friend of mine has lost 220 lbs by fixing her thyroid (going on T3), treating her insulin resistance, and figuring out food sensitivities. We originally met on a health forum. However, no doctor rescued her. I told her about my experiences with weight gain from these issues and then she researched it herself. It angers me that so few doctors investigate any of those things in obese people.

[@jessicalillard-waugh283]

@@lynncrf I had my thyroid tested 1 time before surgery and it was fine. Turns out I had thyroid cancer. Now I have had surgery, radiation, and am on complete replacement. I also have Cushings disease from an adrenal growth. These conditions have greatly contributed to my weight problems. I am glad you were able to help point your friend in the right direction.

[@JenniferHernandez-rv1oc]

Obese to beast did an interview with someone who used to be on the show. He said that a lot of the drama is staged and everyone gets the surgery in the end, even if they "failed" the diet on the show. But at the end of the day these are real people who want the surgery and this show might be the only way. The American health system is sad.

[@Emily-hd9sm]

Yeah I know some people argue that the individuals on the show chose to be on the show themselves so it's not exploitative but you have to consider the health concerns that being obese can present and how expensive care can be in the US and realize that financial incentives can be coercive to those who don't have financial security

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes, that’s true too. Thank you for sharing

[@locarobles50]

I agree with this too .... inused to watch this show all the time. I felt sad for those who are on it and thier families because it must be so hard. However, what you say is very true as well the health care system meant to help you cripples you and thats not cool.

[@MsAntigonaki]

Damn, that is horrible to have to go all of this in order to get a surgery that you obviously need

[@valariewillis6815]

These shows are also Higly edited for the response you are feeling....

[@esmereldapinchon1422]

I feel like this show is like Hoarders. It’s something that people might stumble upon or tune into and it’s like a scare to see how bad things can get. I personally stopped watching because it’s always kind of dark and negative to see people suffering so much. Huge degree of human suffering. As you say, exploitative.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes, exactly

[@Brynwyn123]

Precisely. My dad is a hoarder and let me tell you, that kind of shit (often without any useful therapy attempts at all) doesn't help and actually often makes it worse if they hoard because they were traumatised by depravation as kids (my dad hoards because he had nothing as a child and the idea if it happening again terrifies him). Same with shaming people who already eat to deal with their feelings of shame etc, you're just distressing them more with zero safety net.

[@teachergirl41]

One encouraging thing about Hoarders is they have an on-site psychiatrist or licensed clinical psychologist throughout the process, as well as aftercare.

[@teresamckeown5594]

You are right. I lean the other way - super clean and freak out when things are not just right in my opinion. People saying “just throw it way-it’s just trash” doesn’t take into account her it is a mental issue.

[@maddyG7414]

Agreed, I sometimes feel like people watch it almost to make themselves feel better because they aren’t at that point- at least from what I’ve experienced with people I know who watch it. Personally I just find it really hard to witness.

[@dia9491]

I’ll never forget it when a doctor told me, “just stop eating, you fat cow.” I had been working so hard to lose weight. I’d lost 20 pounds when I went into the doctors office. I was so excited when they weighed me. The weight loss was about helping the pressure on my brain. It can help. He said that because I didn’t lose enough weight in a month(20lbs was not enough). Not only was I heartbroken by his words but I felt like giving up. I fired him. I never went back to him for help. I realized that he couldn’t help me. I saw someone else and within 6 months, I went into remission. If you’re being treated like that, please see someone else. You deserve hope and you deserve understanding. You deserve to be treated like a human being.

[@sasak369]

What the fuck? 20lb in a month is huge.

[@JenniferJohnson-v2w]

I had to fire a doctor because of that too. I went to see him to talk about PCOS and how to improve symptoms. He was rude, condescending and told me to stop eating.

[@dia9491]

@@JenniferJohnson-v2w the doctor I fired also told me to stop eating. Did you get help from the new doc?

[@avapilsen]

The doctor is the cow. Fuck that

[@UdoADHD]

This channel is so needed. When I became an RDN, I wanted to produce content like this but it was just too much. So glad we have an RDN doing the work!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much, I’m so glad it’s helpful!

[@BethanyxJean]

I honestly believe that doctors who are older and have been in the practice longer are not trauma informed. For years I have seeked different primary care providers because I went to several to get help with my mental issues and my weight. Every time they would just tell me to lose weight and all of my problems would be solved and dismissing what I was saying about what was going on with my anxiety and depression. The closest I got was being given an anti anxiety medication and this doctor kept saying "how good it was for weight loss because it helps to suppresses your appetite" I gave up until a heart issue that sent me to the hospital this past December. The ER doctor was the first one to listen to me about my health struggles and didn't judge me. She was pretty young. Early 30's at least. She suggested the primary care doctor she actually goes that has helped her alot with her issues that were incredibly similar to mine. Well I took her suggestion and oh my goodness this doctor is incredible. My blood pressure was high and his first response was to try a medication because he saw that my family history had high BP on both sides. His conclusion? It was passed down to me. Not because I needed to lose 50 pounds. Actually he hasn't made a single remark about my weight even though I told him that it was a goal of mine. He encouraged me to do it for myself because he said that it has to be something I want. Not him. He is also a younger doctor in his early 30's. This is also the first doctor to truly give me help with my mental health. He tried out a medication and it worked for me. Not because it was for weight loss. And when I am struggling he is always a great listener and referred me to a great therapist that is really helping. And to my surprise now that my mental health is starting to improve, weight is starting to come off. Why? Because he is trauma informed and knew exactly what I needed.

[@toomanythings]

I am so happy for you! I hope you continue to find comfort and solace in having people in your life who understand how this works. Thank you for sharing!

[@BethanyxJean]

@@toomanythings thank you so much

[@denedene5451]

Can you not make excuses for DOCTORS BEING ASSHOLES?....alot of Dr's are stuck up and think they know everything and a ton of them are lacking bedside manner..the saying of which has been around for over a hundred years SO STOP ENABLING THEM TO BE RUDE. THERES A CERTISN WAY TO SAY THINGS

[@BethanyxJean]

@@denedene5451 I was trying to put it in a nice way in saying they were assholes. Thats why I stopped seeking the help of any until this year. The ones I saw before my current one were absolutely awful. I was just trying to say I now realize that some of it was a lack of trauma knowledge, of course as well as a lack of bedside manner you described.

[@yashasaur]

Thank you for sharing ❤️ very moving, I am currently in the process of finding a new doctor and therapist

[@ashdawson7418]

I absolutely love when you do reactions like this, it is entertaining and educational!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you, I’m so glad!

[@watermelondreasymone7144]

@@AbbeysKitchen can you make a video on the show “1000lb sisters”?

[@Mrslovett007]

TW: binge eating, ED I am guilty of watching this show. I thought it would help my binge eating and "scare me straight" but it oddly did the opposite...I no longer watch the show.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I’m so sorry it was triggering for you

[@515aleon]

I can understand why it would not help you. The concept of "scaring someone straight" is a flawed concept. I think that the whole show really is an idea of "scaring people into good behavior". See those obese people, you could be like that if you don't improve. I have never heard of that working.

[@Elizabeth-sp6ps]

Much love fellow fighter 💖

[@Mrslovett007]

@@AbbeysKitchen thank you!! I appreciate it!

[@Mrslovett007]

@@515aleon agreed!

[@esoteriquefille]

This production company is gross. They scouted me through a reddit recovery thread and wanted me to participate in a new show about people struggling with bulimia. Now I think I better warn the thread to stay far far away from these people.

[@cadiza315]

OMG. Good Dodge.. I can’t imagine how damaging working with such an uncaring group of people like that can be while you’re trying to fight something that’s not easy to deal when not in public

[@esoteriquefille]

@@cadiza315 So damaging! Luckily I would never expose myself in that way but other people might not know of the dangers, especially young vulnerable people who want to be on television. I put out a warning letting everyone know who this company is.

[@Phoenix-he1mm]

Lmao

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Wow, I’m so sorry. I hope you are doing better now ❤️

[@julianamoore4521]

As someone who suffered with bulimia in the past all I can tell you is that the journey to recovery is not always smooth but it's totally worthy ! I'm glad you are taking the steps into recovery :) Those shows used to trigger me SO MUCH it makes me mad to even think about it now days

[@kirstenwilliams9246]

You’ve made me realise how undignified it is that the show makes people shower naked for shock value only. Who in their right mind would want to be on tv naked? Let alone if you hate your body already. This is terrible, I feel for the people being exploited.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I do too, it is very upsetting!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

For sure, this part of the show is extremely upsetting

[@treefrog1018]

Pfft. The only people who need to be filmed naked in the shower is consenting accountants. 😏

[@peacechickification]

@@treefrog1018 you’ve got a fetish for financial management? 😂

[@j-bq5nc]

thank you, abbey. so often, people write off obese people because they think, "they are doing it to themselves. if they want to lose weight, they can just eat less. so few people understand the mental disorders that come along with obesity. i was 350 pounds less than a year ago and am now 275. sure, eating better and working out is causing the weight loss. but i had to mentally heal before i could even begin to consider losing the weight. i consider my increased mental health a bigger achievement than any weight i could ever lose.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes totally. Thank you so much for sharing your experience

[@kimk.9168]

@jo jo I'm trying to also heal the way I talk to myself and I just feel like I'll never get there. I have a therapist and she's helping me but I'm just scared. I feel like a big reason why I eat more than necessary is because of the scarcity mentality my mom has put in me because she talks so morally about food. But sometimes I get really scared I'm just a teenager who doesn't know anything. I don't know, is there any advice you could give me? I'm sorry if this is a lot, I've just been struggling more than normal with my self esteem these days.

[@j-bq5nc]

@@kimk.9168 i am only 18 and also struggled with eating due to my mother. she tried to control my eating so much that i began hiding it and forcing myself to eat as much as possible when she wasn't around. my advice is simple: wait until you are ready and do it for yourself. i tried to make myself lose weight so many times because others wanted me to. it never once worked. but one day i woke up and told myself "i am ready". i got a gym membership, downloaded My Fitness Pal, and started that day. i haven't looked back since. the time will come to you when you are comfortable and ready, i promise. do not force anything on yourself. good luck :)

[@jessicah3450]

@@j-bq5nc Good job jo jo! A lot pf us with disordered eating grew up with parents like your mom. Not all of us realize what a problem it was by 18. Good luck on your health journey.

[@Stettafire]

I think same is true for underweight people. If I had a pound everytime someone just said to just eat more.

[@Mezog001]

Finally someone has talked about trauma and it’s relationship to body weight. Hug.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

❤️❤️

[@runlolarun8957]

@@AbbeysKitchen Sadly this is not the standard. I think really only a small percentage of mental health clinicians follow your thinking. It's unbelievable. Thank you for this.

[@dewilew2137]

They literally talk about it on the show.

[@ecstaticbutter9164]

Gosh you do SUCH a good job. Seriously, I’m always impressed with your channel! Science, evidence, logic, empathy, kindness. If only most of the world had these traits 😔.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much!

[@maukegarcia1213]

Abbey thank you so much for talking about this, it's very important we start addressing the traumas that lead to this rather than shaming people❤️ you are so kind

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much ❤️ agreed!

[@scottiemomma2314]

I love that someone finally touched on this. When I was younger, I loved TLC for their shows, but they have become increasingly more exploitative and distasteful over the years. I have watched a couple episodes, and it feels wrong to capitalize on someone else’s pain or struggle. I’m disappointed with TLC for playing on the vulnerability of people who have to fight their demons with every meal. Anyone who has struggled with weight or food must understand on some level. Also, thank you for making the connection between trauma and addiction…it is underestimated in our extremely judgmental society.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes for sure, I agree. Thank you for sharing your perspective

[@zulekhahassan1293]

A really compassionate and nuanced analysis abbey. “Morbid obesity” has a real impact on the psychological and physical well-being of the individual, (issues in mobility, access to clothing, issues with skin health and hygiene.) It seems that body positive activists ignore this demographic and their REAL concerns, arguing that diet culture is the reason why they have them. Health professionals have also ignored them, their psychological needs, and the importance of addressing childhood trauma and other underlying mental health issues, and also bypass other ways to improve their quality of life that are not invasive surgeries. It is sad that a show like this, which denies them of any dignity, is perhaps the only way, even with all its issues, of having access to targeted healthcare.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much. I agree, that part is very concerning!

[@alessandrocoppede3066]

Funny, because it's precisely this show that taught me (morbidly) obese people often are in that situation because of trauma and are not really at fault.

[@Cybele1986]

I think another thing worth mentioning is the relationship between the subject and their “enabler”. A lot of these people are in destructive co-dependent relationships with the person who ostensible “facilitates” their lifestyle,

[@makeuprehab9943]

I agree with you. And these patients are non compliant from the very beginning. I understand they try and change eating habits and start and active routine even before they’re considered for surgery; but ultimately there’s always pushback from their therapy sessions by the patients. The way I see it, if these people were drug addicts instead of food addicts they would be in rehab and quit drugs to detox right?? You can’t “therapy” a morbidly obese person into not eating unhealthy food nor moving everyday. I think Dr. N is doing the best he can to help them. But for sure the production company depicts the show in a way that makes us really not like the cast members. At least for me, I always get the impression that they have ZERO motivation and that they just want a quick fix surgery to lose weight.

[@einah6310]

I've notice this too. This ppl usually has bigger issues to address and their weight is usually not the biggest one. A lot of them are in co dependent/toxic relationships, untreated childhood trauma, self-esteem, self-love, abusive behaviors... I could go on and on about the problems I've seen just watching a couple of episodes here and there.

[@alessandrocoppede3066]

Dr now always addresses that, it's often the first thing he talks about

[@neen42]

@@alessandrocoppede3066 he talks about it, but it doesn't do much good with most of them.

[@alessandrocoppede3066]

@@neen42 I'd say that's their responsibility. He can't imprison them in a clinic until they're healthy. And if they evad him, he calls their house, so it's not like he surrenders easily

[@LeannefunkE]

I’m sooo glad you brought up Dr. Nows bedside manner! No one ever talks about it but he’s so snide with his patients sometimes, like there’s a difference between “telling it like it is” and making unnecessary rude remarks that probably make those patients feel embarrassed.

[@eqqies3196]

I truly believe that watching this show is a form of self harm for people with disordered eating, I had to cancel hulu bc I couldn't stop watching this kind of thing

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I completely understand, it is very concerning

[@lauralogan4380]

agreed, when i was the most unwell (anorexic) i couldnt stop watching this sh**

[@GetOfflineGetGood]

I was actually super relieved when Hulu removed all but the first couple seasons. I was definitely in a self harm habit with it

[@ChippedPaint16]

Agree. I used to follow health media about recovery so i could fantasize about doing the reverse and i would romanticize this unhealthy distorted version of myself, knowing it was wrong

[@ohleander02]

It is. I have a rule: hard pass on these kinds of shows. It's a rule I don't break unless I'm watching a review one KZbin. I watch other reality tv instead like cooking or say yes to the dress. 🙂

[@MissRomanticKitty]

One of the participants was interviewed on the Obese to beast podcast. He said that some conversations were scripted and were not real. The need for ratings seems to prevail with this program.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Interesting!

[@einah6310]

I think that's one of the biggest problems with this "reality" shows they make ppl believe this is true when most of the time is just scripted and acted.

[@dreenyan]

As someone who is medically considered morbidly obese, I really appreciated the empathy with which Abbey approached and discussed the subject. Although I can't say I understand what it's like to be close to or at 600 lbs, there are definitely things she was talking about that I can relate to very deeply and it means so much that she properly educated herself on the subject before discussing it. Thank you for being amazing, Abbey :)

[@dewilew2137]

What is "medically" morbidly obese?

[@Sebster-jg1bd]

@@dewilew2137 BMI >35/bodyfat>40%

[@rachelp6516]

Love how you discussed trauma-informed care, it is very emphasized in my social work studies but unfortunately not enough in the medical field, even though it is all interconnected!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

For sure!

[@sintara8442]

I feel like i have to tell this.. I used to really believe people like this deserved it because they were lazy and too stupid to take care of themselves (i know). After watching some of the episodes though, i began to understand and saw the trauma and sad truth.

[@robertmoore2049]

There’s a tv program in the UK called “Fat Doctor”. Not a very nice title, but the doctor, Shaw Summers really is empathetic towards his patients. He’s like the Mr. Rogers of bariatric surgeons, kind and understanding. He truly treats them as valued people (which they are). He truly has wonderful bedside manners. I hope you’ll get to watch some episodes of this series, Abby. (Unless you have already.)

[@andreakoroknai1071]

the doc in Supersize vs Super-skinny was very nice too

[@robertmoore2049]

@@andreakoroknai1071 I like how Dr. Christian celebrated when his patients did great.

[@andreakoroknai1071]

@@robertmoore2049 I think that program was much more ethical, honestly I think British TV just is, I've heard this from other Americans as well about other shows when you look at the differences between the US/UK versions. apart from Dr. C being a really nice guy, I liked how they showed the other side as well with the super-skinny cast members so it wasn't just omg look at the fatties. American culture has such a toxic relationship with food, weight, and appearance, that I think we just don't have over here in Europe (I was born in the US and now I live in Hungary)

[@sherryemiller]

I would like this show a lot more if there was more success stories. Most episodes make me very uncomfortable because they don’t get them the help they need and expect them to lose weight and blame them when they don’t. Dr Now make me super uncomfortable.

[@kararoche2419]

Yes! I wish they helped them a bit more on a daily basis like therapy, more nutrition support etc. Unless they just don’t show that? They just are like “lose XX amount of pounds and come back”

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I know, it is difficult to watch

[@jessicah3450]

I know, it is important to have a team post op that has your overall health as the priority, and is there for you whether you lose or gain weight along the way. Bariatric surgery gets harder to maintain further out from surgery, but most surgeons are just concerned with getting people past healing from the actual surgery. The initial healing takes a year. Retraining how to eat now with the new anatomy and how to have a better relationship with food takes years. Being a bariatric patient from what I believe to be a good team of medical professionals, I don't like Dr. Now, and his patients are more desperate than the majority of patients my surgeon and team treated. It's just so sad. Obesity is so complex and 90% of treating it has been mental, that takes a lot of one on one work and education since everything diet culture tells us got us obese in the first place.

[@tenaturner3942]

Several things here. She says obese, but she is really talking about super morbidly obese people. There is a huge physiological difference. Body systems to control hunger break down at high weights. That is the primary reason they are hungry all the time. That needs to be emphasized in the show.

[@Tesis]

@nimbleneedle That;s why I think it is important when doctors actually open to having open and transparent (but of course empathetic) conversations with their patients who suffer from this. A GP should be able to kick off the process of addressing the complexity of the disorder that runs at different physiological levels as well as on psychological level. But empathy and good bedside manner is crucial in such cases precisely because these people can't just "stop eating", an unsympathetic doctor can push the patient to the opposite direction.

[@avapilsen]

Nah. I was born with shitty hunger cues. I was a skinny kid but ate for like 4 kids. One of the main complains I had as a child was that I was always hungry even after eating, but my parents never did anything about it. Food tasted very good, and I was always hungry even though my parents fed me a good amount of food and provided me a decent healthy amount of food. The quality of food I ate only started showing on my body at 14. I started to gain weight and ended up being 230lbs at 24 (I'm 5'1). I definitely developed BED, but it had nothing to do with trauma (granted, I have psychiatric disorders, and food definitely gives me a dopamine hit, so that's part of it, but it definitely isn't the whole story). I got a gastric sleeve 29 days ago and already lost 33lbs, but I feel like we need more research on people like me--maybe some people are just born with metabolic dysfunction or have it early on in childhood.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Thank you for covering this in such a respectful way. I've noticed that informed consent seems to be a huge issue with weight loss surgery. I know a handful of people who weren't given the full list of possible side effects/risk factors and ended up worse off after the fact. It's heartbreaking to see people go through that.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Wow, that is very concerning!

[@colleenfrances]

I'm currently going through a weight loss program through public healthcare (I'm in Canada) with the end goal being weight loss surgery. They pretty much drill every single aspect of surgery into our heads and they're really informative about the whole process, but the wait times are INCREDIBLY long. Also the cost of surgery in the US is crazy high, so a lot of people fly to Mexico to receive the surgery which is faster and cheaper. But unfortunately since it's so quick, a lot of patients jump right into surgery without a lot of preparation. I spoke with a surgeon in Mexico and he pretty much approved me on the spot. While with the public weight loss program it's been years and I just recently got approved for surgery and people say it could be another 2 years or more until I actually get the surgery. It's quite frustrating though because my mental health has been a huge barrier to me and I feel like a failure. The surgery will be useless to me unless I can get my mental health and eating disorders in check. Since I started at the clinic I lost 40lbs and since covid hit I gained it all back. I can't get food off my mind and I'm constantly losing the fight against my cravings. I speak to MULTIPLE dietitians and therapists on the regular about my eating habits and nothing has "clicked" so far. They encourage me to take baby steps and I can't even do that.

[@rozchambers]

I used to watch this show when I was in college when things like Hoarders and Intervention (also very problematic) were popular. While Dr. Now can seem harsh at times, if you watch an entire episode he is actually patient and empathetic with people, and will not move forward unless a patient begins therapy to address underlying issues. He talks in depth directly to the camera about why therapy for each specific patient is necessary so as not to cause more trauma or undo the results of the surgery. But like on Hoarders and Intervention, so many of the people on the show refuse therapy or aftercare because they’re so deep in their dysfunction and don’t “believe” in therapy or understand that they need help that isn’t physical. So many of the cast members go to one or two appointments and are very dismissive when the therapist starts helping them connect the dots. Skepticism about psychiatry is a real problem in the US. I come from a dysfunctional family and was finally able to commit to therapy to undo trauma after I moved away from my hometown. But my very dysfunctional parents continue to “not believe in therapy” and bumble toxically through life repeating the same mistakes and harming themselves and others. You can’t force someone to confront their deeper issues, and the brain will protect itself from the pain of digging things up. So people avoid the very thing that will help them. But I do agree with many points about why this show is exploitative and I stopped watching years ago.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

Dr. Now usually doesn’t recommend therapy unless the subjects struggle to meet the initial weight loss goals. To me this should be recommended at the start of the program. I feel like it’s always clear on these shows that trauma and mental health issues are at play but addressing them is never acknowledged as just as key to treatment as the weight loss surgery.

[@rozchambers]

@@pisceanbeauty2503 It’s definitely probably for building suspense/drama because it’s a tv show that they don’t just assign a therapist immediately. Which is wrong, which is why I no longer watch shows in this genre. People shouldn’t have to resort to going on tv shows (due to our insane healthcare system etc) when they need serious help, but I just find it interesting that even when people agree to the therapy, there’s serious resistance toward it and those that keep going have the better outcomes. He’s also in several episodes recommended therapy after the first visit. I think in later seasons the network realized the ratings were higher if the contestants struggled more, I.e created more drama.

[@RibbinOpinion]

@@pisceanbeauty2503 It's for drama. Many MANY bariatric surgeons will not move forward without therapy nowadays. This surgery is a huge deal and many people consider it a quick fix, a magic pill. The therapists and doctors work together for the patient's overall well being and to make sure they are ready for everything before, during, and after. Now, with that said, there are people who don't want the therapy and just the surgery. They think they are "fine." You can't force someone to go to therapy, but you take their surgery away from them if that's one of the stipulations to get the surgery in the first place. If you compare the first season to now, my God, it's day and night. It was supposed to be a one-season mini-series only, but it blew up overnight. I think the editing is garbage, and I think they need to focus more on the mental-health aspects, absolutely, but very few of these patients are willing to spill their guts on live TV.

[@JCej]

I needed a psychological evaluation for my weight loss surgery - it was not only a requirement for the surgical program itself, it was a requirement for my insurance that was footing the bill for much of the procedure. As Abbey said the surgery itself is a $15,000-30,000 procedure and ongoing therapy is also expensive. I think many people who go on this show do so because they're at rock bottom, so to speak, and view it as a final option toward getting the surgery.

[@looli1327]

I genuinely believe a reality show that honored the participants, focused on psychological healing, and highlighted heartwarming empathic storylines would do really well. I would want to watch someone who's been through so much crap finally get unconditional support and competent help🤷🏽‍♀️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes that’s possible!

[@bhadgyaledds3333]

Abbey I love you you are an angel your compassion towards plus size people is amazing I have never seen a skinny person think like this before

[@jsdhgkaYRT1]

I’m soooo grateful that you are so well educated and compassionate. I’m a social worker and I work with people who have experienced trauma every single day. You hit the nail on the head about the need for trauma-informed approaches to weight loss/counselling. Obesity is not a “personal/individual” issue, it’s a “social” issue. Obesity is also highly correlated with poverty (a SOCIAL issue). I hate this show. You did a fantastic analysis.

[@elena7834]

You got a like from me when you talked about how one might view their larger body as a protective suit of armor. I haven't been able to vocalize that feeling but that's exactly the kind of masking I've been doing, in addition to the clothing I've been wearing, but I'm starting to learn boundaries + body positivity from within that helps with it.

[@josi-elaine]

Thank you so much for this Abbey. I appreciate you humanizing these precious people who deserve love.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you, I'm so glad the video is helpful

[@danaanhalt964]

Thank you so much for posting this! As a mental health care professional, I've always been profoundly disturbed and saddened by the inhumane, counterproductive and downright abusive treatment of suffering people on this show. To a trauma informed therapist, many aspects of the show seem like nothing more than cruelty for the sake of ratings...not a true attempt to facilitate healing.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes exactly! I'm glad the video was helpful

[@SoundOfaSoul]

Dear abbey, I am Caroline and I have suffered from anorexia for a long time. I know you always say we should not be watching your videos but to me it is very helpfull. You are SO respectful towards people no matter what they eat and you are always telling us that eating enough food is good and it just really makes me very confident about how I eat. About eating 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and also about sometimes eating more if it feels good to you and your mental health. I love the relationship you have with food and the confidence that you have. You seem to be a great person. Thank you for being on youtube and sharing yourself and your advices with us.

[@AngelicaGarcia-ec1vt]

Thank you, Abbey, so much for making this video. ... it means a lot. Human kindness goes a long way. We need more decent humans in the world like you.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much ❤️

[@litoreggie]

Actually, some people just like to eat a lot. I think being hard and honest sometimes is what’s needed.

[@joybeavers5945]

Yes they live with enablers who never tell them no

[@janetslater129]

But there's a difference between being hard and honest and being a jerk.

[@user-xm1od9nb1m]

How do you know? Change comes from within. Many studies have shown that ”being honest” (I’m not exactly sure what you mean exactly though?) only and not discussing psycological aspects gan trigger ober eating even more

[@elizapearl9928]

Aren't they seen as "only obese people" because the point of the show is to highlight the fact that being this obese has impacted every facet of their lives? Like every hobby or goal has been hampered by this struggle

[@Cybele09]

I know right.. kinda hard to showcase much of one's "person" when they're bed bound and only watching tv and ordering food.

[@imamajesticseahorse2548]

It's sad but true. They are heavy to the point that they can't function.

[@Spectra651]

I was thinking the same thing, and later on after they do lose weight and are able to function more normally you *do* see them picking up hobbies and going outside and enjoying their lives more, something they literally couldn't do when they were housebound and too obese to walk without severe pain or running out of breath. I realize that there's a degree of exploitation with any "reality" TV show, and this one is no exception, but I've always thought this show was one of the least exploitative in that it doesn't glorify or glamorize what these people are dealing with, and I've never gotten the impression that the weight loss surgery they received was a "magic bullet" one-and-done solution. If that was the case the show would *end* on that note, but it goes on to show that, despite the surgery, these people still *do* struggle with eating less and exercising, and it's not always easy for them. And even though I haven't watched the show in awhile, I'm almost certain I've seen at least a few of them in therapy afterwards, talking about the issues that caused them to become morbidly obese in the first place, so I feel like that criticism, that the show never tackles the mental side of their conditions, is somewhat inaccurate. Rather than portraying these people as "just obese" and nothing more, I've always thought the opposite whenever I'd watch the show. It portrays the people living with debilitating obesity as not simply lazy, or lacking willpower, or as the butt of some joke, but as real, sympathetic human beings with actual feelings who are worthy of our compassion and understanding. You *want* them to succeed exactly for that reason, because they deserve a good, happy life inside a healthier body, one that doesn't hurt whenever they try to walk, or causes them so many health complications.

[@imamajesticseahorse2548]

@@Spectra651 very well said! I agree with you 100%. The comments I have seen for this video don't seem to grasp the fact that these individuals' weights have impacted every facet of their life. I saw a lot of people saying, "Why do we need to see them shower? It's exploitative." And yeah it partially is, but it also demonstrates something as simple as showering is borderline impossible for these individuals to do. The whole body positivity and HAES movements seem to have caused everyone to put rose colored glasses on when it comes to the realities of being overweight. I had commented this on another thread, Abbey gets upset in the video because Dr. Now uses the "tough love" approach and while I get that that can be really upsetting to people, from what I've seen he tends to go harder on the people who lie to him and make up excuse after excuse. These individuals are addicts, which it is not uncommon for people who have an addiction to lie or manipulate to get what they want. You can only use the kid gloves for so long before patience runs out. Given that this is his specialty, he views these people as being in critical condition, that it is life or death for them. Again, you can only extend the hand so many times before you say, "If you don't want help then I am not going to help you."

[@jessicah3450]

But other chronic illnesses make people home bound and bed bound too, yet they are not put on a tv show to fund their surgery.

[@fizzimajig]

Thank you! You highlighted all my issues with this show. I stopped watching it a long time ago. I started initially watching as someone who had 100+ pounds to lose and wanted motivation because I always saw it as a possible outcome if I didn’t change my ways. I realized as I changed and lost that 100 pounds with sustainable changes and self care that the somewhat cruel exploitation these people went through for a life saving surgery and that therapy seemed like an afterthought instead of the 1st part of treatment bugged me and and was something I couldn’t support by watching anymore. I also disliked the shaming from Dr. Now. He would always act shocked that they didn’t just stop eating and hey way they did. It’s so deliberately obtuse and ignores the deep emotional issues these people are dealing with.

[@marisoto9873]

Something about how Abbey speaks is so classy. Also your videos are amazing and so are you! I’ve found your channel recently and I can’t stop watching your videos!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much!

[@steffanievillegas7613]

Yes! Classy but not at all elitist!

[@cynthia-n9w]

It's why there are so many Cdns on who anchor American news channels.

[@laurenmm2011]

i love how respectful and straightforward you are when approaching this kind of content !

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much!

[@natalie5334]

Wow, You've handled this issue so well! As a European I was always puzzled why Americans are so obsessed with watching obese people struggle in TV shows... It's been only quite recently that the obsession with this topic reached Eastern Europe and Russia with franchises of these shows infiltrating here. I don't know any normal person who truly enjoys watching how fat people feel miserable and unhappy...

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you! I know, it is very concerning

[@SofiaYasmin]

I agree, I live in France and whenever a show talks about obesity, the reaction are mainly empathetic and encouraging, whereas in the US these kinds of shows trigger a judgmental apreciation from viewers. I would say that both the christian culture - "gluttony is a sin", and the liberal/capitalistic ideology - "if you want to lose weight you have to commit to it" combine into this absurd fatphobic culture, where nothing is actually done to change the actual factors of obesity and the blame is put on the individual...

[@realSimoneCherie]

Wha?! Nothing like exploitative British TV.

[@danielle8861]

To be fair, since Brexit, Europeans are not longer required to call the English “European,” thank goodness.

[@Stettafire]

@@danielle8861 dude, thr UK is still a part of Europe just not the EU, grow up

[@strangersontheinternet]

I watched the 💩 out of this show back when I was in the pit of an eating disorder... Now that I‘m better I do watch a episode maybe every 2-3 months...but I prefer the „1000LBS Sisters“ TLC show because it’s more about the people and it’s about 2 people and not only one per episode:)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I'll have a look at that one

[@sarahcuellar2450]

Thank you thank you thank you 🙌🏽 this show upsets me so much for some many reasons. Many of which you touched on. Glad to see it is not just me. I always appreciate your well thought and well articulated discussions. I hope this sheds more light on the dangers and insensitivity of the show

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I understand, it is very upsetting!

[@briannahjewel]

As an aspiring bariatric RD, I definitely agree with almost everything you’ve said here! The only thing I don’t fully agree with is your comments about the show being fatphobic. It’s just my opinion that the labeling of things as fatphobic is VERY subjective these days. For example, I’ve seen people say that an informational graphic about obesity is fatphobic. I don’t think sharing evidenced based information is fatphobic at all, BUT like I said, I think calling things fatphobic is a slippery slope because it’s subjective. The general population does not desire to become morbidly obese, but I don’t think that it’s JUST everyone being fatphobic (of course some people are probably genuinely fatphobic). It’s because many of us see the struggle and potential health ramifications that come with it. Regardless of this, even though I don’t personally want to be morbidly obese, I still believe that EVERYONE is deserving of respect and dignity no matter where they are in their journey. Just my opinion! The show definitely has its issues (I never knew about the gross treatment of some of the cast members!), but in large part it’s what’s made me really interested in bariatric nutrition care. I think weight science AND psychology is very interesting and this show, and seeing people in my personal life, struggle with obesity has really inspired me to help learn more about the struggle and help them. It’s SO important that the psychological trauma that can trigger obesity be addressed ALONG WITH weight loss, otherwise just losing weight isn’t solving the real problem. It’s only a bandaid and eventually, all bandaids fall off. As usual, great video! ❤️🍋

[@Tired_Night_Owl_in_the_Woods]

Hi, Briannah! Your lemon drop here😳 For me, "fatphobic" in the case of this show is that they practically freatern the audience "do not be like them, it is bad, you can dead". 🤔 I am happy I do not watch TLC!

[@briannahjewel]

@@Tired_Night_Owl_in_the_Woods Hi my lemon baby! Like I said above, I think it’s very subjective. What some think is fatphobic, others may not. You kind of proved my point with your comment. You and I have a different perception of “fatphobic” because it is indeed subjective! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@carochan86]

Hi Briannah small world :). I agree wit you 100%

[@trishna_6815]

Treating overweight and obese people as less than human is so completely normalised in most of society that is often very difficult for people to actually recognise fatphobia. It is framed as 'just about health' or 'just reality'. It has taken me a long time to really recognise it. This show is pretty much the definition of fatphobia.

[@anandaclark7010]

I don't think the show is fat phobic. A lot of people are saying fat people aren't treated like human beings but I know a lot of overweight people, majority of of U.S. is overweight I doubt most of America aren't treated like humans. The government has never rounded them up and enslaved them or massacred them.

[@kamila6200]

i was just waiting for you to react to this one :) Great work Abbey!!! and btw, as someone who used to suffer from eating disorders for 20 years i really appreciate you having so much class talking about all the hard , delicate and sometimes complicated things. 👌👏👏👏

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I’m so glad my videos are helpful for you!

[@Erin-bc9ys]

Thank you for discussing the people on this show as though they are people. That is not something everyone does and it is so dehumanizing. I really appreciate your holistic approach to understanding weight and dieting. These videos have helped me so much in understanding my own relationship with food, as well as learning ways I can begin healing it❤️

[@nflama]

Ehhh.. unpopular opinion but I disagree with some of this. As a formerly obese person who lost 100lbs, I made a thousand excuses for why I couldn't do it, why it was hard, and still do to this day when I want to "get around" to losing 10lbs. These people are going to Dr. Now for help but then not taking accountability for their half of the work. Abby if you were working with a Diabetic who kept coming to you and still ate peeps every day for breakfast and wasn't doing what they could within their power to set themselves up for success, would you want to continue working with them? Honest question- because medical providers can and absolutely should have boundaries. These patients are going to Dr. Now as a last resort to lose weight and he, in turn, expects that they prove that they have the self control and commitment to be able to undergo weightless surgery. Yes, it is not all about those two things, and the psychodynamic aspect of this is just as important. But I've watched enough episodes to know that Dr. Now will tell someone to go to therapy or work with a therapist to overcome their eating issues. He will even confront people when he knows that they haven't been working with their therapist. I think some of this is sensationalized drama, but I don't think these people are being abused and not getting adequate support from their healthcare team.

[@AnniK243]

I kind of agree with you on this. My partner lost 40 kg and is finally in his BMI mainly because I encourage 5 a day fruit and veg and eat healthy and then have a treat at the weekend. It's really difficult for him at times but self improvement and motivation is key.

[@Salty_Siren07]

I went to school with Amber Rachdi and she’s such a sweet and kind person.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

❤️❤️

[@lovibond555]

Finally someone who reacted to this show with some decency! Thank you for this extremely informative video.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

So glad it was helpful!

[@vintagemel6358]

I wanted to give you a standing ovation through so much of this video. That show is nothing but a modern day circus sideshow. It's sick.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you so much. I agree!

[@THICCpikachu]

I had RNY in 2017, I’ve kept off the over 100lbs I’ve lost. I was on 800-1200max call a day after surgery. This show sets them up for failure, I needed a lot of mental health help to change my relationship with food. I ended up developing a secondary ED, orthorexia, after the surgery and I was healed. I’m talking hours agonizing over 100cals because I was aiming for 1200 or less. These people need so much more support to be successful.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Agreed. Thank you so much for sharing your experience

[@THICCpikachu]

Thank you for the great video, you said so much that was spot on in my experience.

[@cveti2095]

Oh man it's always amazing, almost scary how powerful our mind is and how mental health actually affects our life but also how our life affects our mental health.. 😅

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Totally!

[@cadiza315]

Oh Abbey, thank you for this video. It really reinforces my quest to incorporate dignity and compassion into my health transition. I am morbidly obese myself, and I am currently fighting to change my habits and relationship to food into something more healthy. I’m trying my best to transform my health without surgery, but still consider it an option. I just hate shows like this or that make obese people kind of the modern version of a circus freak. The dismissive attitude of the “ no bullsjit” doctor is some thing that I have run into many times. It is so unhelpful.. I go out of my way to avoid shows like this. Because ouch. Part of healing myself, is to become compassionate to myself, and I’m really glad that the experts I have chosen to help me out have steeped themselves in compassion. Your empathetic way of framing childhood trauma as a major factor of adult obesity, really got through to my head. It’s one of those things that you know, but don’t know till you KNOW it? ( hope this makes sense) Also I would love to hear your thoughts about programs like over eaters anonymous?

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you for sharing, I’m so glad the video was helpful for you ❤️ I’ll have a look at that show as well

[@madamel.6756]

@@AbbeysKitchen Overeaters Anonymous is not a TV show, it’s a recovery program for people with BED or compulsive overeating based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (the 12 steps). There are meetings all over North America I think. I would also love to know what you think of their approach. It's the opposite of IE as far as I know, because you have to admit you are powerless over certain foods (sugar) and abstain.

[@teresamckeown5594]

Thank you for this. I do believe 100% that Dr. Now DOES care about his patients and helping them.

[@teresamckeown5594]

I think English not being his first language doesn’t help either.

[@sylviaspath]

I agree, he has dedicated his lifes work to helping these people, and has been one of the only, if not only surgeon who was ever willing to attempt operating on people over 500 lbs. Semi recently, he has had other surgeons in the room with him to teach them how to perform the surgery on people over 300 lbs, it seems other surgeons have been too scared to try, and rightfully so, it's a difficult procedure to do.

[@patriciahartley7750]

I agree Dr. Now does care about his patients and it being a reality show it definitely is scripted like all reality shows. Those people who sign up for this show know exactly what they are getting into. They also have probably watched the show before signing up and do know what is expected out of them. This might sound mean but I don't care how much trauma your childhood was I just can't fathom how anybody can get that morbidly obese unless it was some kind of thyroid or medical issue causing them to gain so much weight. It seems like most of these people just like to eat a lot of food and that's all they think about.

[@AlastorCane]

Gosh i hate how normalized this is to the point that one (me) watches it and didn't even think about all that. ughhh Thank you so much for this Video - the last years i definitely started to open my eyes and avoid quite a handful of shows that seemed so meanspirited towards the people participating - "good" television being more important, numbers more valid and worth than a person's dignity, mental health and than to protect a person - making them feel safe and heard. It's so bad...so sad too - so so glad that my eyes are being opened over and over again, also through people like you who take the time to explain what's wrong with certain shows and approaches.

[@bethwilliams8748]

I like watching the episodes of those who have succeeded as I just had wls myself recently. They do give them therapy which is very important. Also I think it’s good for people to learn the relationship between trauma and weight gain.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

For sure, thanks for sharing your perspective

[@alessandrocoppede3066]

@@AbbeysKitchen I think you should really revisit your video. The parts where you talk about childhood trauma or that dr Now doesn't care, or where you say it doesn't show them as people, or that it portrays bariatric surgery as an easy fix, clearly show that you haven't watched enough episodes

[@medinar5]

This is so important! People clearly see that anorexia or bulimia are mental health diagnoses but binge eating disorder is stigmatized and people don’t often even consider it as a mental health issue. Thank you for making this video and educating us. We are all people and we are deserving of empathy, kindness and care, not shaming, stigmatization and cruelty because of how we look.

[@wurdnurd1]

Ngl, when I was in GNC looking for flavored protein to add to my oatmeal, I saw they had Built bars for sale individually (buy xx get one free), so I picked some up. KZbin SPONSORSHIPS WORK AGAIN...

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I hope you enjoy them!

[@danielraymond2846]

As someone who has last a significant amount of weight (went from 359lbs to now >249 lbs) I really resonated with the “wearing the weight as a suit of armor” concept… I definitely have had to process a lot of emotions bubbling up both negative and positive. I also have tried to remedy this by strength training to keep more of that “armor”

[@sadiecowan9413]

Thank you for this video! Do you think you could do a video about how to start trusting and accepting your body after weight gain? I am in eating disorder recovery and had to gain a pretty substantial amount of weight and I'm having a very hard time trusting my body enough to work on eating intuitively. Or do you have any recommendations for other resources?

[@MrKONEWKO]

Im not a professional, but Id like to share with you: it just takes time, so keep that in mind! I'd focus on all of the benefits, at least for me, I had a lot more energy, didnt feel sick, and wasnt constantly depressed and anxious. That was a big motivating factor. And it does take time getting used to, but focusing on those positives can help the time go faster and keep you from thinking in terms of body shape.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I will put this on my list to discuss in a video!

[@Amber-ws2nl]

Absolutely LOVE your talk on trauma and dysregulation. Tough love is really just “motivational” shaming

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you, I’m glad that was helpful!

[@ashleighhuman266]

I have never considered watching all these kinds of shows but I enjoyed the video because it helps me to route out thoughts and beliefs we’ve been taught and forced to grow up believing. Whenever we saw an obese person my mom would say “how do they let themselves get like that. It’s such laziness”. Your videos really help me to identify and counteract thoughts about people and what they are going through. When I see obese people now, my natural thought is empathy and concern for what trauma that person might have gone through or not, or even just to see past the external. In every case, no matter who we see, we need to see beyond the exterior.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad my videos have been helpful for you

[@geekjenah3324]

I’ve been waiting for your reaction on this 😶 Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I hope it’s helpful!

[@crystolgerding]

I’ve actually never seen the show. I can’t say I’m surprised by what you brought up. But it’s heartbreaking. As a health coach, one of my most important missions is to help others understand they are not broken and that struggle doesn’t make you weak. 💙

[@xikristinxo]

I used to love all the shows on TLC, but I'm starting to realize how harmful and toxic they really are.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I understand

[@autumnfeldpausch5539]

Many "reality" shows are. I do not like TLC, they are shameful

[@marilynbara6330]

Abby - I want you to know how much I enjoy your videos and benefit from them. I have learned so much from you and I feel so supported by you. I’m so glad you’re doing this particular video and calling out a show that probably never should have aired in the first place. Thank You for ALL you do!

[@lilithz]

trigger warning for insensitivity to BED, but i'm still thinking about when i went to my doctor and said that i might have binge eating disorder and he said to me, verbatim, "just stop eating, whats the problem? ... just go to the gym and count calories."

[@jillianwickham31]

I’m sorry to read this. That’s not ok.

[@janetslater129]

I hope you dropped that doctor like a hot potato. You deserve all the help and support you need.

[@sattheer1493]

I LOVE this video! The way Dr. Now talks to his patients is so upsetting and it’s even worse to see so much of the Internet love it😞

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I know, it is very concerning

[@sansan89894]

What do you want him say ? I’m proud of you because you got fast food into the hospital and refuse to accept that you overeat ????

[@brih9613]

loved this! really opened my eyes on how horrible and exploitive the show is, thank you so much for educating everyone.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I’m so glad it was helpful!

[@miimakakku3722]

Personally this show has been able to help motivate me to think a little about my eating habits and exericise routine (and losing some weight in the progress) AS WELL as actually making me realise I might benefit from going back to therapy. I see the problems (mostly the lack of therapy at the very beginning, and how they show participants showering... which is just sad to see) but I really do think this kind of show is much, much needed to give people (like me) a wake up call.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Interesting, thank you for sharing your perspective

[@rachelbuchanan2861]

I think the same is true of "My 600-lb Life" as is true for all other weight loss media out there: if it's triggering to you, don't tune in. That sounds kind of crass, but I hope people understand what I mean. I totally see the exploitative qualities of the show; I don't necessarily condone watching people as they struggle to perform basic human functions like getting out of bed and showering, nor watching people gorge themselves on massive amounts of food. I do, however, still see value in shining a light on the complications that come along with super morbid obesity--that is the clinical term for bariatric patients in this weight category. Yes, these are real people with real lives, but the unfortunate truth is that these people are *dying* as a result of their food addiction. The tough love approach might not be ideal for individuals who have been victims of sexual/emotional abuse, but they *need* an intervention, or they might not live long enough to make peace with their trauma. I've watched nearly every episode of the show and Dr. Now sets up pretty much everyone in his program with a therapist because he *does* understand that psychology plays a primary role in long-term success. I agree that a therapist and RD should be standard in every patient's treatment, but I also think we miss out on a lot of that meaningful footage simply due to network time constraints. Maybe Dr. Now's bedside manner doesn't appeal to everyone, but I can tell that he truly cares about his patients. He meets them wherever they are in their journey, no matter what size they are, and offers them the help that very few other doctors in the world would offer.

[@imamajesticseahorse2548]

👏👏👏 agreed. Abbey misses the mark with this one. Dr. Now is the way he is because like you said, these people are addicts. It is not uncommon for addicts to lie, to manipulate, to be sneaky to feed their addictions. I think Dr. Now looks at these individuals as people who are lucky to have the opportunity to get life-saving surgery and he is not going to waste his time with the people who don't want to take it seriously.

[@michaelaf6580]

So you don’t think that there’s an issue that they found them in the shower naked? Or threaten them that they won’t get the surgery sooner if they are not doing everything right. That is manipulation and a tool of humiliation. Can’t you see that the show is dehumanizing?

[@andinkify]

This!! ☝🏼I wish more people saw this video. The fact that they have to include the shower scene, the shots taken from the angle that would make them look bigger, the way dr. Now speaks to them (and how the viewers praise himnfor that), and how he only sometimes suggests therapy when it's just as important as loosing weight... This show don't have their participants best interest at heart.

[@hawtwheelz]

thank you for talking about this

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I hope it’s helpful!

[@lmilligan6344]

I work with people battling addiction. I have fully agree with you on them having past trauma and using things to cope. A trauma informed practice is definitely the way to go

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Interesting, thank you for sharing

[@amydebuitleir]

There's a New Zealand show called "The Big Ward" that handles this topic far much more sensitively and helpfully. I've only been able to see the first two seasons, but I assume that they continued in a similar vein. No one is shown naked or in a demeaning way. We get to know them as people.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I’ll have a look at that one

[@AMortalDothApproach]

You might like the UK version "Weight Loss Ward" as well!

[@TheCookinCamper]

You should review every single flavor of BuiltBar lol...obviously not all at once lol...BUT DO LIKE A MONTAGE OF TRYING EVERY FLAVOR, and talk about which ones you like, and which ones you don't like...Since starting to watch your videos I've wondered if each flavor has different nutritional benefits, or more or less calories, etc.

[@happyme7513]

1.the show doesnt go in detail because they dont have time. Its just 1 episode per person 2. Their size is 600 so urgent care is needed asap 3. Now therapy is given to the patient. Its up to them to go to them 4. Dr. Now seems rude but tbh he is spitting truth specially to the silly & manipulative exsuses patients come up with 5. There are only 10 ppl outta 100 6. Shower scene is useless & used as shock value 7. Its not quick fix patients are put on life style changes first

[@its_not_true]

Thank you for this beautifully intelligent and kind video. ❤️ I wish more people understood the emotional aspects of weight struggles.

[@Princessusch]

Ok omg this is a serious topic and everything but I totally lost it at the "well" and A WELL 😂😭

[@aticowico]

This show gave me hardcore body image and weight issues that I'm still dealing with in my young adult life. thank you so much for covering this show

[@pidohuntress7385]

When I was dealing with flashbacks of my sexual abuse, I would often crave chocolate because my brain was trained to associate chocolate with the abuse being over.

[@brittney3156]

I'm so sorry 💚

[@jamienathanschrock-lunn9143]

I had gastric bypass surgery 4 years ago. I went through s*xual abuse as a child and had been almost 400 pounds for over 30 years. I went down to 130 pounds within a year with no mental health care offered. It took me years to deal with the loss of food as a coping mechanism and to adjust to the way others suddenly treated me so differently. Just had my third skin removal surgery. Honestly if not for seeing the show I would never have looked into surgery or changed my life. It saved my life at 42.

[@crm14250]

I'm kind of surprised you didn't talk about the low calorie diet people on the show are told to stick to. It always seemed crazy restrictive to me, and I always wondered if there was a medical need for it or if it just sets people up to fail.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I can put it on my list to discuss this in a future video

[@crm14250]

@@AbbeysKitchen Oh cool thanks!

[@avapilsen]

I got a gastric sleeve 29 days ago. While I wasn't required to endure a low-calorie diet before surgery, people with a higher BMI tend to have fatty livers. Many of them need to lose weight to decrease the size of their liver, giving the surgeon easy access to the stomach. After the surgery, patients naturally lose weight due to hormonal and metabolic changes in the body (yes, we start to eat less due to these changes); this is a natural consequence of the surgery.

[@abbypierce4196]

I so, so, so much appreciate the tact, nuance, and compassion that went into this video. Thank you for doing what you do.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you, I’m so glad it’s helpful

[@MarcusTSMarcus]

I would love to hear you talk about the obesity rates in the US especially among children.

[@chrisanderson6330]

This is the first time I’ve ever seen one of your videos. Thank you for bringing up the mental health component of weight loss. I have a friend that was frustrated with her insurance company who is willing to pay for the bariatric surgery but not for a psychologist/physiatrist. She told me that she would not be able to maintain weight loss until she could deal with what she went through.

[@WatermelonPocky]

Can you do a review of Nicole Collette? I just love her energy and the way she talks about food. 😊

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I'll have a look!

[@laurenb1038]

Thank you for talking about the need for trauma informed providers. So many physical health problems stem from trauma. It’s absolutely necessary for providers of all types to be trauma-informed.

[@Salix_nigra]

I love your videos and I get so much out of them including this one but I love Dr.Now. I understand what you said about data backing a softer approach but they are so close to dieing and not even being able to walk or drive doesn't even snap them out of it. They go in there and lie and he is trying to break that cycle of them lying to themselves. He sends them to therapist to deal with coping but many of these people are so far gone from reality due to their trauma and constantly relying on food to numb everything. Yes, they have had hard lives but they will never get out of it if they don't confront reality see how dangerous their situation is. I feel like people need to see this is were denying reality for too long can lead you. You are 100% right about the shower scenes though. My 600 life has helped me better understand how they can get into this state and I have great sympathy for them and mental issues they face. Life is really hard and we are all just trying to survive.

[@meggiedoesbooks9604]

I’m really glad that you’ve addressed this! I grew up and developed binge eating disorder and while trying to over come this I had a very unhealthy relationship which made it much harder! So I really appreciate this video a lot.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad the video was helpful!

[@myneoangel4299]

Every time I watched this show, I remember being upset that therapy was not the FIRST thing they did. Every single one of them had some terrible event happen to them of which they were CLEARLY struggling with, and without therapy, there was no way weight loss could happen long term. How do they look at these people struggling so much and not offer the help they so desperately need?

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I agree!

[@angiem7725]

I try to look at the positive in everything so this show just helps me see what can happen if I gain that much weight, it honestly motivates me to exercise and eat healthy

[@Elizabethselby]

As someone who has struggled to maintain a normal weight most of my adult life, obesity is now being looked upon as a metabolic disease.

[@BStop22]

I totally agree with you on so much of this. That doctor telling those people 'so, chocolate is more important than your health?' NO, of course it isn't more important. But an addiction doesn't make you think rationally about it. You just eat the junk food, then mentally punish yourself and feel depressed later. So, him saying these things doesn't help anyone. That man is a horrible doctor.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

For sure. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this

[@abigailewolff656]

“Let’s go fruity with some carrot cake.” 😂 what is fruity about carrot cake? Lol

[@nicolec8413]

Lol she replied to the comments above and below and skipped this one 🤣

[@abigailewolff656]

@@nicolec8413 it wasn’t meant as hateful 😂 I just thought it was a funny thing she said

[@malenixius]

Carrot cake usually has raisins and dried fruit in, right? (At least the asda carrot cake I usually get does)

[@nicolec8413]

Okay raisins in carrot cake, fair enough 🥰

[@jessicah3450]

My stepdad made a pretty awesome carrot cake with pineapple, raisins, and shredded coconut. Some walnuts are good too.

[@marielle7505]

Wow. This is such a respectful video. You should be proud of it.