Discerning the Bondage of PEOPLE PLEASING

[@sagenosnibor9173]

"Trying to keep someone happy is not love." 👏🏾 Say that again!

[@maryannkinley5802]

My goodness. This is me. My friend at church always said she didn't understand my need to fix everyone. I'm realizing this. Thank you for this

[@Portiab_]

I’ve had to stop and start this video a few times because it’s so triggering to know I’ve lived my life this way for so long and believed the lies from manipulators when I wasn’t “pleasing enough.” Dear God thank you for the deliverance!

[@wakichunu]

@@Portiab_ hi, how have you changed over the time since you watched this video? Do you have any advice on where to start working towards not being a people pleaser?

[@gina1126]

I was badly bullied in middle school for about 5 years. I am in my mid 30s now- wow this makes so much sense. I am a total people pleaser because I want people to accept me and not judge...it all connects...thanks, Mark! Now I can work through this in therapy haha!

[@karissaetheridge5665]

Wow yea, I have the same story.

[@hayyyitstay]

Same!! It’s so comforting to know that I’m not alone in my journey! God bless you brothers and sisters in Christ 😊🙏🏼

[@Portiab_]

So inspiring to read this comment because yes!! Lol Thanks for sharing!

[@marcylcrockett5058]

Your ministry is a true deliverance ministry! May the Holy Spirit continue to use all your broken places to heal others like Christ allowed himself to be broken so that others could be healed.

[@shawnboahene5231]

Boy did God give this to me at the right time

[@LorenaDeLaCruz_7]

Me too!

[@rayyjayy274]

I'm honest and I admit this has been a problem for me my entire life! I'm ready for this one big time!

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

For me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@julietreagus7043]

You're not alone, that's most of us to sum degree.

[@joyonyedim5472]

That song from the beginning is everything ❤️❤️

[@hayyyitstay]

This video is so helpful. I need to replay it often. For me, people pleasing tendencies started with my mom. She’s always been codependent and essentially just a broken human being. And growing up, I would be the one to “protect her” and nurture her. And I ended up suppressing and neglecting my own needs. It robbed me of my childhood and now I have so many repressed emotions and resentment toward my mom. AND I STILL ATTEMPT TO PLEASE HER. Every time I’m talking to her on the phone I end up tending to her needs and trying to fix her. It’s so annoying. I see all of the signs, Mark! Pray for me! Lol

[@Kintsugi979]

Your mom may not be a codependent. She sounds more like a narcissist. They come in many forms. I was a people pleaser too. Had a narc for a mom so I was programmed to please hee and I went into the world believing I was not good enough to love so I people pleased w/ everyone. I had other narcs in my life too. One almost broke me. God used the break/Crack to shine His light into it so I was able to wake up to who I really was. A child of God and deeply loved. "Be still and know I am God" are powerful words. It's in the stillness that we meet Him.

[@gabegibby6515]

Mark droppping knowledge bombs!!

[@EllieLain]

Wow. This has so many mind blowing nuggets. Thank you. I want to break free of this so badly. Wasn’t even aware I’ve been living this way until a chronic health crisis.

[@rebekahferreri1522]

I’m sorry I don’t have money to give right now but this is the best counseling session I’ve ever had. Thank you!

[@davidbramlett8193]

I thought I did majority of my work in this area. I saw painful growth when it comes to be a people pleaser. But lately.... goodness gracious! People pleasing plus traumatic memories have bombarded my heart and mind that last few months. This video helps identify some of my current struggles.

[@LG-br3fe]

Thank you for sharing. You are very understanding and compassionate and you are well aware that this healing journey takes time I have lived under the tyranny of the fear of people and people pleasing bondage for mrost of my 52 years on Earth'. It has cost me everything and affected every area of my life. Rebuilding has been most challenging but I am digging deep. Some days it feels like progress has come to a halt and the temptation to give up is always staring me in the face. I have no close friends and all family members left long ago. I don't go to church much anymore because I was a part of the SDA church, which is very legalistic and works oriented. I was severely wounded spiritually because of the wrong doctrines I was taught about God. I am in a place of isolation and wilderness right now and it's really just me and Jesus I have prayed over and over for the right connections and still God hasn't answered that prayer as yet. He knows why and I think to an extend I know why. He wants me to depend completely upon him and not those around me, but it's the most difficult thing I have had to do being alone. Please pray for me to find within myself the ability to love and accept myself unconditionally and for my treasure and purpose to be revealed and for the right doors of opportunities to be opened to me so I can fulfill my true purpose. God bless your ministry, Mark.

[@ethanmoon3925]

I spent a year in a customer service call center - the worst possible environment for a pleaser. Huge anxiety constantly. Tried but couldn't keep people happy. I thought I would get used to it but never did.

[@RTYWLive.Forever]

Where are we supposed to work 😅

[@ethanmoon3925]

@@RTYWLive.Forever I'll tell you when I find out lol. But the job I switched to has bookkeeping and errands that may not be fun, but don't make me anxious.

[@RTYWLive.Forever]

@@ethanmoon3925 oh nice ❤️

[@sabinedobler139]

Listening to this for the second time. Won‘t be the last time. Thank you for this video.

[@nicholasdriessen9959]

In just moments of listening to this, and reading the ebook has made a significant change in my day and perception! Thanks brother

[@Isytrice07]

This video 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😭😭😭😭. This is something I’ve struggled with a LOOOOONG time and really want to be free from this. Again, thank youuuuu for another SOBERING video.

[@karissaetheridge5665]

This video completely blew open my whole world. Goodness... as if all your other videos haven't been completely relevant for my life. This one pretty much, yea. Wow. I almost skipped past it too. But something told me to just check in and see. Thank you, God.

[@elizabethlaine7474]

I was recommended to watch this by a friend who has found it great on her recovery journey .... it is very good and helpful. Thank you

[@jesuslovesme2023]

Once again your right, so much of this is me. Thankfully, I have worked on some of these things for about 10yrs, and I can say now Praise God not ALL of what you spoke of is me ANYMORE🙏🙌😇Thankyou Holy Spirit for changing and healing me, and for putting people in my life line Mark who help along the way 😊

[@ladyesther]

All of thee above. He's angry...I need to make him happy. No...just need to sit with the emotions. I am not a pretzel.

[@roderickreed491]

You damn right about not answering the door for drama Big Mark! That’s a good word lol😊

[@SwaySzn]

I can’t thank enough for this message. 26 and I keep telling the lord I’ve felt trapped.

[@mikem4883]

Mark. You are incredible. Thank you.

[@LG-wm1nw]

Pastor Mark, once again you hit the bull's eye! Thank you for these teachings. You have no idea how God has used you to bring healing into my heart. I was a woman that was truly bound by so many of the same if not all the things you struggled with and now for the first time, I can honestly say that light has penetrated the deep, dark places of my heart. Lasting emotional, mental, spiritual and even physical changes are taking place! "For everything, there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1. My time of healing and restoration has truly come. It's been a long time coming (I am 51) but God's timing is always perfect. Pray that God will use my pain and healing journey to the benefit of others because it's my desire to see people live whole and free. I praise God for your ministry!

[@diannepoznanovic6977]

It takes time to believe who you are in Christ and know how much he loves you. Once you can get that in your heart it is moving to think of how much he loves you. Powerful. Then you can accept yourself warts and all and then love others.

[@violeta-sabinaciobanu559]

Mark this is absolutely essential for me to hear. I give thanks to God and to you for having the courage and for doing the work you did that allows you to use this amazing gift that Papa(God) gave you - to speak truth and touch our lives. I also greatly enjoy your amazing sense of humour Thank you so much!

[@sparklefarkle6950]

Thank you for pointing out the obvious in my life that I have had such a difficult time seeing. SO much in my life has been about pleasing people and NOT love- 51 years old and I have BIG things to allow God to change in me!

[@rayyjayy274]

Brother from another Mother!

[@BrianHart-i6h]

Thank you so much for your very in depth insight. Blessed ! Be blessed my brother from another mother!!!

[@angelaroubique333]

Thank you for walking by faith and for taking the time to make these videos. I’m a people pleaser and have been my entire life. I’ve gotten better over the years but still struggle with it. God bless you ! ✝️🛐💟

[@margaretgrosskreuz8687]

Oh Mark. I can so relate Thank you for taking the time to share this. You and Melissa are amazing ☝🏼❤️🎯

[@alexandriarcollins]

Your ministry is truly a blessing Mark & this message yet again is very timely🙏🏼 God has been working on me in this area. I’ve realized that I have to face those uncomfortable feelings & tell ppl the truth. & it is SO freeing when you do it‼️

[@margaretgrosskreuz8687]

Alexandria. YES it is. Maybe it'll get easier and easier?? Congratulations on your progress 😊

[@alexandriarcollins]

@@margaretgrosskreuz8687 yes I’m sure it will😊 & thank you🤍❕

[@daughteroflight8624]

You are the uncle that I never had in my life and I'm so glad that I have access to all your resources. I'm highly blessed. 🙏 Thank you so much. 😊❤

[@rckc.1719]

there so many times i wished i had just said NO.....wow

[@Just_PassingThrough]

I feel so attack 😂 lol this was such an eye opener. Bless you brother for the powerful message. Makes me think back to all the times I've been in certain situations.

[@terrahillman151]

People pleasing is a survival skill I.e. Fight/Flight/Freeze/FAWN. Plus, it’s primal-as a herd community-if we were exiled, and kicked out the community, then exfile = death in our minds. So we people-please to not get exiled.

[@LG-wm1nw]

We people please because we're broken by a sinful world.

[@ruthblack9721]

You PREACHED !

[@BDJ82]

I would like to thank you so so much for the way you are putting everything is really opening my eyes I'm 42 and have been dealing with this my whole life thank you again my brother in Christ may God bless you !

[@robertstacey5351]

As always heart healing and calming. Thank you dear brother

[@Mfbhealingministry]

So good. Thank you. Excellent.

[@thefreedomsquad456]

Wow! This has really helped shed light on things for me.

[@tracyc6576]

Hi Mark, thank you so much for this teaching. This has been an issue in my life for so long. I’m hoping for more in this area.

[@nicholasdriessen9959]

Always so insightful and helpful mark!

[@LinaGQ]

Such a great video thank you so much for helping unpack this. I’ve been on this healing journey as well and God has done already so much in my life but I find that I somehow still need professional help but then I also remind myself that God can do the impossible and I just keep pressing on to him .

[@nicholasdriessen9959]

That’s a good word for me right now!

[@Mary-sg6kd]

'Mary is people orientated RELATIONALLY' what a quote that hit the bullseye for me.

[@emilynelson3504]

Profound message! The inner life vs performative Christianity. Being able to receive love can actually be an act of humility vs the pride of not having needs It's so true that it can be easy to throw yourself into serving if it's an area of life that feels "successful" to you, when other things that maybe should take priority aren't going so great...nothing wrong with serving, but are you following where God is actually leading or is it just compulsive? Thanks so much Mark.

[@JoeCisneros]

"Savior of the moment" @ 46:40

[@iw9338]

Yes, yes, ues. God showed me my helping is Not always helpful. Staying in my own lane. God is so good. Pause, pray and mind my own business 😊

[@taylorplayer50]

Thank you so much for this video brother!

[@torasacramento4905]

For me - this started with my Mother - who was a good woman but was stuck raising a troublesome toddler (me) during the time my Dad was in Vietnam. As a very young child, I learned to "side step" things that would make my Mom go ballastic or worse, make her cry (How does a toddler deal with THAT? At that age, I was supposed to have the ultimate rights to these types of tantrums). Very scary when you are small and learning your place in the world. I am now 61 and no matter what kind of counseling i've gone to, no matter what the Bible says, I STILL can't stop people pleasing to those I care about -- it is exhausting... Technically I KNOW I am a beloved child of God, but I still find myself believing that my feelings and opinions don't. matter...

[@diannepoznanovic6977]

this is so powerful and I can see myself. But it is good. I have needed to hear this and have better bondaries and stand back and see if this is something I should help in or to sit back and wait and see. Very good talk. Powerful in fact. Thank you.

[@iw9338]

Yes, gave it my all and burned out. Dont attend church now. Praying for healing 🙏😅

[@Barnabas70x7]

I kind of think, everyone has a people pleaser aspect of themselves to some degree. It was interesting to hear you say you can do nothing for certain people you are having difficulties with but today as I was meditating on this actual thought, I came to the conclusion that it is important to pray for those individuals, not only because you may desire to pray a particular thing but more importantly to keep your focus of God our Father rather than the thing that is bothering us about that individual. This keeps us Spiritually healthy from bitterness or some other issue not healthy Spiritually speaking. I am appreciative of your ministry thanks.

[@andreamichelle1]

Excellent teaching!

[@regenaupsher5300]

This brought up a whole bunch of other stuff for me. I acknowledge that not only am I a people pleaser, but I can be really mean because I don't want to be rejected. Mess!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@nccrchurchunusual]

1:15 As Christians, Figuring out what to do, how & when to do it etc is trial & error, probably more so for those raised in dysfunction. So many folks have no family help or council, yet they wanna do some thing for The Lord. Hopefully, amongst all the ppl pleasing & other subconscience stuff going on- The Lord uses that service for His Glory and some people heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ or were ministered to in some way. Seems a few OT prophets had depression and certainly trauma, but the Bible does not say much about these mental issues in most of God's servants- Paul, Moses, Joseph etc. As some one who did some pretty far out things for The Name of Christ- I just gotta give that service over to Him trusting His Providence. May The Lord bless this ministry too.

[@christinawills7896]

Thanks!

[@jenn_jean_kent_artist]

So much truth.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was so wrapped up when l was young

[@dagrnning4456]

Takk!

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

When l was very very toxic l was so wrapped up in toxic situationship l have slowed down doing that crazy mess

[@Kileyannbb]

Thank you so much I knew I had this problem but I didn't realize the extent of it! I really appreciate you this has helped me immensely I really it means a lot that you put this out there❤ thank you for showing me that I can hop off the hamster wheel!!!! ❤❤❤

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was a people pleaser it was roading my life

[@trevorm1837]

TIS THE SEASON to revisit this series 😅

[@rckc.1719]

thank you again

[@coffeytnmilk7]

Living on an empty tank…..so true.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

From people pleasing a lot of chaso two being alone is so difficult little bit

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It was throwing me off when l was people pleasing l was so pulled by what people were saying l didn't know what to do l wasn't living right years ago l was living in a box now am living in a clean apartment complex building now this has affected me alot

[@kimmymichele12]

Yes people pleasing can make you work good. That can wear you out

[@fearitselfpinball8912]

Hi Mark. What do you think about strictness/discipline? This year I made the decision to set aside more time for daily reading and praying - I started exercising… the year is almost over and I have better relationships with my wife and kids-I’m fitter: I did the right things and it worked. At the same time, I’m dogged, in a way, by the desire to ditch everything (the routines) and run. I can flip sides and view things differently. The disciplines are a constraint (are legalism or something like that). I want the emotional freedom to be myself and ditch my own high standards. When I do it leads to sin often… There’s a tension I don’t understand between the need to have a passion for discipline and the desire to be unencumbered by ‘doing the right thing’. I think it’s probably grief…

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

There's power in loving myself l just don't know if am ready l hide my brokenness

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Educationing myself is so hard

[@oyinkana8644]

Your great

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I think it's also two drop my pride for Jesus

[@adrianacarpenter]

It's so easy to confuse the inability to say no with being a good servant and pleasing the Lord! I've come into this mindset that if someone asks me to do something and I say no, God is frowning on me.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I really should abide there's a lot of things l need to get delivered from a lot of things one day l was rooted in the crazy things

[@Jesusandmentalhealth]

Super server Sally serving soup and salad...😂😂

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

That drama is very familiar to me

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I feel like l have been heavy burdens when l really should let go of

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I got bad anxiety when l really should relax

[@messenger8854]

Wow I work in the political field and it's tough not to people please and remain rooted in Christ

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

pleasing people was driving me crazy

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was putting my value in the wrong things and l was investing in things was little bit weird

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It was hard to be myself when l was people pleasing before

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

That hamster wheel 🛞 was crazy

[@shawnboahene5231]

How do you ask mark questions directly?

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I don't know how to humble myself right l didn't have healthy boundaries years ago some people used to cross my boundaries having boundaries probably make me look more attractive l do seem little bit off

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It was throwing me off when l was people pleaser at once l got lost in that trap

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It's hard to pump air in a broken place

[@gunpowdertea2553]

I'm am busy. I do a lot of stuff. I was neglected and faced continual disapprovement. I'm a people pleaser. I have poor boundaries. I have trouble saving no. I can not maintain healthy relationships with a girlfriend. How do I get better?

[@marktdejesus]

Watch the episode on Healing the Heart of a People Pleaser

[@cathypeth1394]

@@marktdejesus do you do individual counseling?

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It's hard to be in board with everyone

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It was tuff people pleasing

[@Dave_The_Beatmaker]

@ 1:02:22 LOL THATS SO ME!

[@Dave_The_Beatmaker]

had to repeat that several times xD xD

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was marinating in people pleasing before

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It has affected me little bit still do little bit

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I'm trying to grow in education it's hard sometimes l think 🤔

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I really need some heart healing one day