Dismantling Masculinity: The Transition That Terrifies People!

[@ma-sa1986]

So much truth in this video, I’m living proof! I delayed transitioning due to how important passing was (and still is) to me. I am ex-military, tall, and was muscular and quite masculine looking. I just hit one year on HRT and now I “male fail” pretty frequently, I don’t always see her but a lot of people do! Just last week I met up with a friend who I haven’t seen since pre-HRT, he walked right by where I was sitting without noticing me even though I was in “boy mode”, I yelled for him and he say “OMG I swear I thought you were a girl sitting there!” So it does happen! Now I’m at the point where I’m worried about social transitioning… I NEVER thought I would get to this point, especially when transitioning the way I looked and in my mid-30s. My mental health is so much better too! HRT has literally been a lifesaver for me.

[@phinks5368]

This gives me hope

[@ma-sa1986]

@ you got this! ☺️

[@VladaDudak]

Yes sometimes someone can be super lucky. I’ve never been super masculine from my perspective however after 3.5 years of HRT, I’m sir’d daily pretty consistently. So HRT is working differently for each person.

[@kingnapikkingoficeland7856]

ma'am, these videos are what helps me power trough the days while i'm not yet capable of transitioning. Really love the content!

[@DRZPHD]

That’s great! I also suggest signing up to trans femme newsletter which features weekly tips and guidance.

[@Chloedawnknauer]

Any you'd recommend

[@andiephd]

I always saw myself as too masculine to pass. However, just this week I heard something that knocked that idea right back to where it belongs. I started HRT in April of 2024 and began to social transition full time 5 months later in September in which I have been living full time as a woman. Well, I visited my Dr this week, the last time I saw her was 2 1/2 months ago. I was talking about how important it was for me to achieve passing in the future for two reasons: because I just want to look like a woman and secondly for safety. My doctor tells me that my transition has been remarkable. She said that I pass without a doubt - my facial features have softened, my movements are different, I walk and talk different- I’m a different person now. By letting go and letting my feminine side free, it has really transformed me. I still have a long way to go, my breasts are only a B cup, I still have belly fat I’m trying to lose in order to get that hourglass figure and that voice needs lots of work. But I am really happy with my progress; especially as a late bloomer - I’m a proud 64 year old trans woman. Thank you again Dr Z for all of your content 💜💜💜💜

[@Girlsforever1982]

I just need to take you with me wherever I go.. Merry Christmas 🎄

[@mx.lucyfur]

Little steps, even experimental ones, can definitely shift the mindset some. I went to a solstice celebration this weekend in my most fem presentation yet. It wasn't high fem, but it definitely was an outfit that expressed the classy, powerful lioness of a woman I know lies within. As I socialized, I definitely felt more of my true self come out. In that space, it didn't matter that my appearance reads as more masculine. To just channel that energy and express it was empowering in ways that help affirm moving further with transition is the right thing to do.

[@SpiritoftheWoods863]

Resistance is Futile. Once I stopped resisting and setting impossible standards, life became so much better. That doesn't mean I love Audrey Hepburn any less, though. 😊 Merry Festivus all!

[@liquidintegrity]

I’m feeling happy 😊 ❤ I accepted myself, I have connected to my body in such a way I am coming to feel it fully, never felt like this before. It’s amazing - thank you doc!

[@PostalHeathen]

I worried about that at first, but chose to move forward anyway. As I was, I was unhappy at the very core of my being. I saw a choice between rolling the dice, moving forward and maybe be happy, or else stay as I was, knowing that I would never be happier than I was then. I took the chance, and though I've been on hrt less than three months and I'm still figuring out who 'she' is, I'm already far happier and more confident than I've ever been.

[@Discoveryjourney-dc7bn]

I started with HRT a couple of weeks back, and suddenly I have started feeling good. Maybe just cz, i started doing something for myself without letting my worries overpower it

[@macschomo]

Transitioning starts in your mind and ends in your mind. It's a spiritual idea. Accepting what you are is the difficult stuff. I'm intersexed, living as a man, but at the age of 61 it's enough. Since 3 years I am most of the time a women and I increase this time till my life is a complete one... ThanX to your videos. It helps a lot.

[@hasegawataizo4069]

You got that right! That's because it's all delusion and fantasy.

[@nicoleshort542]

Thank you for the advice Im 37 and I’m not exactly the most masculine I do have parts of myself I still don’t like but I’m happy I started my HRT and I’m getting my orchiectomy soon my first year of my medical transitioning has been so amazing

[@Uomostrano]

Yesterday, after 7/8 years I shaved my beard. I was smiling when doing it, seeing the smooth skin under it after so much time. Taking little steps surely helps. Sure, it's not all fun and games, I do have a problem watching my jawline now, but it really felt like something I HAD to do.

[@alisabristleface]

I had similar feelings when I shaved my arms recently

[@acash93]

Dr Z, thank you for your comforting words

[@Eden-is-Here]

If you had showed me who I became through not even two years of transitioning before I started, I would have broken down in tears. But I think most of us have trouble imagining how much we end up changing through transition. And also, how we're not going to look like Sophia Loraine or an anime girl, but like our mother or our aunt: and that is such a nice feeling.

[@BobbiFarren]

Sophia Loren? Definitely The Italian bombshell. But gosh....I feel dated. Marissa Tomei comes to mind as a generational equivalent. Enjoyed the education and your insights as always.

[@DRZPHD]

lol that “dates” booth of us 🤣

[@1Adventurerider]

I am suffering from defeatism due to masculinity and internal transphobia. I don't know how to break this cycle.

[@brenner3990]

Yeah, same here sister, its horrible

[@TransIntrovert]

What helps me is not trying to look at the whole masculine package. That can be overwhelming. Just adding little bits of femininity little by little are really affirming. Shaving arms, adding clothing components, nails,etc, lip gloss, these really do help. Still a long way to go myself but they do help. 💖💐🏳️‍⚧️

[@mx.lucyfur]

If you have the means for it, a therapist definitely helps. They can help you unhook from the internalized transphobic voices and learn to manage the thoughts, feelings, and bodily reactions that pull you away from exploring and expressing further. Modalities like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Internal Family Systems Theory can help you take the power back from those internal voices/parts.

[@bjmaynard01]

@@TransIntrovert Seconded. Baby steps. Paint your toenails no one will see, let your hair grow out a little. Shave legs/arms/etc., get your ears pierced, wear women's underwear and sports bras under your clothes, buy with and play with makeup, even just curling your lashes and using mascara will drastically change your eyes. Depends on your level of comfort and what you can get away with, but each and every tiny little step along the way always feels like a victory and helps you connect to her. HRT is a game changer. I think as long as I can I'll just keep presenting male and be a dude on estrogen. The brain noise is basically gone, and there are subtle changes that are so affirming.

[@Ginaviz]

Great vid. You are always so inspiring. Thank-You!

[@hasegawataizo4069]

If this video was a book, the Germans would've burned it.

[@gregorymeiring285]

Thank you so very much. All the information you share is so important to so many of us.❤️

[@hasegawataizo4069]

This is the kind of information that the Germans burned in the late 30's.

[@hasegawataizo4069]

Why? So you can use the women's restroom, feeling like you're lying to yourself just a little less? "It's MAM!" 😂

[@TonusFabri2024]

When I go with my feminine side, I feel dissonance from my beard, to which I've grown rather attached over the years, Or rather, it has grown, attached to me. My LGBTQ daughter reassures me, 'It’s a beautiful new age where you can mix and match whatever gender expression salad bowl makes you happy. Not everyone will “get it” but that’s a them problem, not a you problem.' For me, it's not so much about relieving dysphoria as finding what sparks my joy.

[@SheHulkBuilt]

DR. Z, since you stated early on that you mostly focus on trans feminine patients and advice, what professional can give trans masculine advice?

[@s.4760]

I got back on my regular dose of hormones after micro dossing. Unfortunately I'll probably just be androgynous or gender fluid. Time and money are the only thing holding me back. But it's interesting that since I've been on MtF hormones, I feel more masculine. Please explain that psychology to me.

[@MutedNyan]

I have a more masculine jawline

[@hasegawataizo4069]

Because you're a man.

[@josephbelisle5792]

So do many women.

[@SusanWillan]

Can you tell me why estrogen HRT causes me terrible fluid retention when I take it i started in 2018. And nothing but trouble

[@marradka2584]

It’s listed as a side-effect, sometimes called edema. Also other types are common from progesterone like fluid retention in the breasts and belly. Talk to your healthcare professional if it it is a problem for you. Sometimes exercise can help, or slight medication tweaks, or it could indicate some other health problem (that the estradiol making visible but was already there)

[@nhatan2511]

you should consult your medical provider for detailed information like that. Hope you get better.

[@Lostcause1974]

Yes. This has been one of my main concerns, even while transitioning.