Your Gender Transition is More Than Just Surgery!

[@kaiyachidester8326]

I appreciate this topic. I had surgery this year, and I dislike it when other transgender people refer to my surgery as "going all the way." I don't feel like it was the end of my transition. I still have a lot to work on adjusting to my body. While it was the hardest part of transition to arrange, I don't feel like it was the most important step. I don't feel like it has made me more valid as a woman. I am glad I went through it, but it has made my feel more isolated in the transgender community between the jealousy of people who want it and don't have resources and other people who have, but don't realize I my social transition is more important to me than the surgical one is, so they just assume I don't need support any longer.

[@TylwythTeg_NZ]

You've just described my exact experiences!!

[@danirichard470]

Dr. Z. I love listening to your videos. I when full time in May 1996 and was post op in September of 1998. So much of what you say I hear back then from other therapist. You are well experienced and give excellent advice. Much has not changed in ensuing decades.

[@JaneChristensen-x3o]

I was feeling quite feminine after a few years on hrt, living full time for nearly that long, so I was honestly quite surprised at how much additional internal development occurred post srs, in late 2023. The surgery gave me confidence, and that translated into being more active socially, and it is really that social interaction with people who only see a woman before them, that is kind of like finishing school as far as transition goes. The process continues still, 14 months after surgery, but already I have trouble remembering what it was like living as a man. I love the person I have become, and I could never have felt or said that prior to transition. Those who have chosen to stick around, and the new friends I am meeting as a woman sense this energy and love to be around me. This impacted every single old relationship, that is the price paid for success in this endeavour. Difficult as that was in some instances, in my opinion the inner peace derived from the new sense of congruence which had been absent all of my life prior, has made the journey well worth the effort and the painful moments. I feel very fortunate to have lived in a place were the greater community accepted, and supported me throughout transition. This, I think is crucial, and I can see how not having social supports/ government supports would make it difficult to achieve internal integration.

[@RicardaLelliott]

That you have been absolute helpful, I’m listening! Keep going covering topics not always easy to define! ❤

[@CharleyHays]

I have learned so much from your videos and courses, Dr. Z. My transition started 5 years ago and I did even recognize it; it started to open my mind to the possibility of being trans. I have had more than my share of mental health issues over the years. I was desperately seeking psychological and emotional transition while any physical changes would be a bonus. I started on HRT a couple months ago and it has been life changing and I am at a level of peace that I never knew was possible. I am in a place where I never think about self harm, when it was a daily occurrence before. Dysphoria has decreased to a manageable level. Thanks for this video and for letting me share.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi and I am so glad to hear you are doing well.

[@LeahT6317]

Great topic! I like the fact that you stated everyone's Journey is unique. My friend who is trans also gave me the courage to come out she has spent the last few year on HRT and waiting for the right time for her to go forward where our experiences vary is her journey is a slow and steady pace. Where with me the last 2 1/2 year has been surgeries and even this coming February I have voice feminization surgery scheduled. She was down and I had to remind her everyone's journey is different it isn't about keeping up with others. While I been lucky to find out my insurance covered a lot in regards to surgery my main growth is having female friends who treat me as an equal and being invited to spaces I wouldn't have access to before transition. The growth I've had in those areas have given me equal satisfaction as the surgeries. I've gone from trying to fit in to focusing on being the best version of me. Yes there are a few more surgeries I want but they aren't the main focus any more. I think part of the danger of following other transgender figures online is you tend to try and go at their pace and do things they've done because you see them looking flawless and enjoying life. I think you have to remember most go back to being normal people and dealing with issues we all do once that video or post is done. ♥💯

[@EvaCher3465]

Well, I already had this weird conversation with another transwoman, who claimed that my final decision not to go to FFS was wrong because hormones did not change facial bone structure, etc. My final decision was always about whether I could achieve a pass in front of others and for myself. And because I think I achieved both of these goals with HRT, I do need this surgery. Of course, FFS can make me more beautiful, but in the real world, I take into account the cost, my abilities, and what I already have, and I would say I am pretty happy to achieve beauty just with makeup now, as the majority of cis-woman do too.

[@robynrox]

For me, bottom surgery had been in the back of my mind probably for 20 years or so. I held back for some time though before making the decision to put my name forward for it; there are risks associated with it, and I now know having gone through it that I've been one of the lucky ones. But honestly, that's an area that nobody sees. It was the right decision for me, but it's impossible to tell in advance. I don't want any other surgeries. The whole thing was for me about silencing the voices in my head that said, "What if?" Now I know what if, and I'm satisfied. Within my circle of trans friends, many say they don't want bottom surgery, and that's great! One of my trans friends had facial harmonisation surgery (I think that's what she said it was called) in Spain, and she already looked great, and now still looks great. Really pleased for her. But I don't think that will ever be my path. There isn't just one route to Rome, as it were.

[@paicina]

you put this in a lovely way! and i do agree that surgery is one of the most important thing in a lot of trans minds, mine as well. but you are right, if i don't think about the other aspects of being me. then i will feel no different. also thank you for the help you have been giving!. i am not safe to come out and that began to take a toll on me. it got really bad, but because of your videos that made me feel so much better, i began coming up with a whole list of plans on how to get out of my bad position and begin trying to be me. and no matter what the outcome is, you have gave me hope!!🧡🧡🧡

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best, Baby steps!

[@kevint5149]

All your content is so good but this one in particular seems so appropriate these days w social media, vloggers etc. Btw Dr Z I got a Blahaj ikea shark that’s so popular in our community and so I named it after you, “Natalia” ❤️

[@DRZPHD]

I love that! A shark named after me, super special.

[@marti7343]

I am an older trans woman. I struggle with knowing if FFS will help me pass and alleviate my dysphoria. There are things about my body that I cannot change. I am tall and very broad. If surgery will not help me pass and blend in, what is the point. I have bottom dysphoria. I would love to have GRS, but it is such an ordeal and at my age what is it going to do for me in terms of my gender presentation. I really doubt I will ever find a boyfriend. If that were to happen, GRS would be more sensible. It may give me more confidence and that is important. If I were younger, these surgeries would make a lot more sense. With that said, I am glad to have started my transition and am happier for it.

[@Mariposa907]

Thank you. This measage arrived for me exactly when i needed to hear it. i feel the social pressure for FFS comes more from cis people these days, since the culture is turning more conservative and there's a lot more pressure to conform. Society truly is becoming more invalidating and more unsafe now. And Id wish you could address that more. Its difficult to know: like would i be getting FFS for my intrinsic dysphoria or to get by on society more safely and easily? Because i didn't really care about passing as cis until this election happened. But in truth, my internal transition has been getting a lot more difficult lately because it's getting harder to make affirming social connections with cis women these days. And that dysphoria has been putting me into existential crisis, making me want FFS more than i did before. Its super confusing, so i'd appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thanks!

[@josephbelisle5792]

I am still figuring this out. But I do know that no one point in transitioning is key or the end of transitioning. I do want SRS but i know it is only a step. Or not having SRS means you are not transitioning right. There are 8 billion humans on the planet and there are 8 billion different ways to exist. Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. We all spent so much of our lives being someone else because of family, religion, norms, society, etc... . Find yourself. Be yourself. Its a journey. Not a destination.

[@marradka2584]

What do I do when my friends say things or treat me like I’m male? (I was MTF)

[@SusanWillan]

Why does HRT estrogen cause fluid retention

[@ma-sa1986]

Ask your doctor

[@DRZPHD]

Suggest discussing medical needs with your medical provider.