A Sociopath Explains Sociopathy

[@Keepitkind7]

I was in a third world country with a friend. We walked past a beggar on the street (they were everywhere). I was so terribly sad-empathetic. My friend went across the street, bought food and gave it to the man. As we walked away, my friend said something funny. I asked, "Aren't you sad?" He replied, "Nope. It's a fine day...but who's the one who bought him the food?" I realized my FEELINGS were of no help that hungry beggar. Love is a verb at its best-an action. You don't always have to FEEL it. Lesson learned to my emo self. I applaud you Patric in your journey.

[@aaryantiwari1793]

This relates a lot Hello there you are now talking to a sociopath If you want to be enlighten you can reply

[@thegoodlightllc4093]

1000 percent. It goes back to the old saying that our actions are what matters.

[@eusouguriaaleatoria]

True

[@briannab4770]

Brilliant anecdote, thank you for sharing. I think I can get narcissistically wrapped up in my INTENTIONS, but I don't think they matter much. Actions are so important. We don't have to suffer to love.

[@vero9348]

You've learnt something everyone learns at 3yo good for you!

[@Argelius1]

Kudo’s to Patric for being SO articulate about concepts that are so challenging to explain/describe. I learned a lot. Thanks, Katie!

[@Roswell33]

I am fairly certain that the only great therapist I ever had was a sociopath now that I've seen this interview. She was SO much like this woman. It saved me as my mother was a smothering narcissist and so the emotional space and non judgment she afforded me was extremely healing. I am so grateful for both of them :)

[@dryan6793]

Both my parents were, and now my neighbor is.

[@_Odinn_]

It makes sense for a sociopath to become a therapist. It'll always be interesting to hear about experiences, so it would push back the boredom.

[@Ladyinred001]

@@_Odinn_I think my previous one, was too!

[@GoGreen-l7e]

I have an older sister like this. I'm 60 and I just figured it out a few years ago. Most of my life and my parents have lived with shame and less than from her neglect of empathy. The lies covered up the real issue and the rest of the family would think we did something wrong because she did not care for us. But she would quickly cover her tracks and do the pretend thing covering up her dirty deeds. When I found out who she really was my anger at her was uncontrollable. During my elderly moms illnesses the destruction from stealing, not helping with care giving, etc just put me over the top. I have disconnected from her. For me the years of deceit and destruction of our family , I just can't forgive. She was born this way. Still not understanding what category she is in, but when I look back at 50 years of her life it all adds up to me. Yes more work needs to be done because family destruction is enormous from this disorder as much of mental illness is

[@surlypiratewench1969]

Please, just for yourself, forgive her. “ she knows not what she does”. That seems unfathomable to most people. I am bi-polar 1. I’ve spent my life regulating my emotions . I’m not always successful . I feel things 10x deeper than normal people. I hate it. You can’t see mental illness so people forget. Then when I react strongly ( and I’m on meds) it’s very off putting. I’m so sorry Your pain is palpable. I wish you healing and many blessings.

[@jammasterjay4298]

I can empathize with you my sister was like what you described

[@GoGreen-l7e]

@@surlypiratewench1969 she's forgiven but I can't be around her as she can't be trusted. Her daughter and her husband have also been conned and protected her behavior as they benefitted from it . She is 74 but still very dangerous. Financial exploration from a family member is devastating. She also never paid retribution for the last theft which is not a reconciliation for a relationship. Sad when she's gone her only grandson has no family on either parents side from her behavior. Everyone else pays for her crimes. My new boundaries do not include someone who can't be trusted.

[@surlypiratewench1969]

@@GoGreen-l7e I’m terribly sorry. My own mom is a sociopath and she’s destroyed our family. What a horror to live through. Please take care of yourself 🥲

[@Kari.F.]

Sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism and so on are not mental illnesses. They are personality disorders. Those disorders can cause mental illness in the people around them, though.

[@SarahJames-i9d]

I worked with a sociopath. She managed to go up the corporate ladder pretty easily with zero competence but lots of schemes. She decimated morraly the entire department but managed to Inspire so much fear nobody would complain openly. Interesting enough She was favourite in the eyes of senior management She played the role of such a kind and well-intended person in their eyes that is capable of very strong-willed decisions. She had a different face towards us, though. Its still a chilling experience..

[@JillianSiobhanMal]

I’m glad u shared ur experience, the amount of ppl in comments (depending on the channel) championing a sociopath is concerning. They either are one themselves, the comments are bots (getting hyper realistic these days), or have never had any experience with one. There are a lot of sociopaths in powerful positions. Having had experience with many of them in LE, they are to be avoided at all costs. Your empathy will be taken advantage of at some point if ur around them long enough.

[@Joshdifferent]

@@JillianSiobhanMal💯

[@michaelanthony6539]

@@JillianSiobhanMal Absolutely. Your kindness and compassion is immediately determined to be a weakness.

[@louwinters508]

I know one. Can't stand the guy. He's very low functioning though. Can't hold down a job. Yeh know you can tell he's a sociopath. Even before we saw the diagnosis Anti social personality disorder. It's the ones you can't tell who are more dangerous in some ways.

[@kolimarie]

Thank you for talking about the similarities between sociopathy, borderline, and narcissism. As someone who is diagnosed as BPD, that’s such an important distinction!

[@puertoricanpapi1356]

BPD is bullshit you just can’t control yourself.

[@donsandrano1429]

True! I have it too! 😓😓😓

[@donsandrano1429]

I have BPD too

[@camillewilkinson4343]

I am so appreciative of this interview. I find Patric's open-ness and Katie's deft empathy and journalistic prowess really helped me to see, and understand aspects of this personality 'curve', so much better. It sheds a light, also to personalities in general in the components of how we each/all experience ourselves in the world. I might seem like I am a bit over-applying my sense and perspective regarding these insights as explanations... But I feel it is a start in how we/I can even more compassionately appreciate one another, even relate to one another. Thank You to both of you for this conversation.

[@seacatMEOW]

Thanks for sharing and informing! Keep up the good self-work. These types of conversations help inform the uninformed and can transform society in a positive way.

[@debbiebaddeley6159]

Oh my goodness! What a wonderful discussion with Patric. She was amazing at explaining what sociopathy is. Thanks to both of you.

[@Tiffany-d3r]

I cannot thank you enough for this interview. Both in marriage and children, this enlightened my understanding of the person I was married to for 12 years AND the similar traits that are apparent in one of my children (I will be sharing this with his therapist and soon Children’s Hospital where he will have an assessment next month). THANK YOU sincerely. - Tiffany

[@raygordonteacheschess5501]

Who did you turn down for that winner? Like attracts like.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@raygordonteacheschess5501wow, such a narcissistic/socioptahtic comment. Fascinating, in its way.

[@tiffanyvanlengen]

This video is my first dive into sociopathy. I have recently started to develop a very deep friendship with someone (not romantic but truly connected friendship). We have had long deep conversations about things that I can't just talk about with anyone. Recently, he told me he is a sociopath. He has repeatedly told me that having a connection with someone isn't common. I don't think I fully understood until I saw this video. When it was said that there's a graduation or something like that and they don't have a certain connection and they have to fake it I got chills. He almost said the exact same thing to me. This is giving me perspective as to being patient and respecting the strangeness this might be to him. He is 15 years younger than me and it's a very unique kind of friendship. I don't know the background or the details as to why he knows this. I automatically connected the statement with the label psychopath. Instinctually , I thought my line of thinking didn't make sense. This person that I am generally referencing has a heart and there are a few other descriptions to his personality that confused me as to my understanding of a psychopath. When I listened to him describe his grandmother or certain memories or experiences he was passionate about I was lost; I thought maybe he had no idea what he was talking about and he's just talking out of nothing. Now I get it. I am an abstract thinker. I'm a mathematician and I see beauty in strange things. I wonder if that's why we have a connection. I don't put obligations or expectations on societal issues when it comes to each person. I look at people individually and I look into them. I watched another one of the videos where it shows the five common things sociopaths do and he does all of those things. I have been in therapy throughout my whole life and I am not a sociopath, but I'm aware. I understand how different people grow up with different life views and Life experiences. His mom was awful to him. I was very supported and loved. When you speak of it as being taught certain social behaviors the example came at me like lightning. He is very aware, literate, and intelligent. He described things to me as if he doesn't feel things the same way other people do. This helps me take things into consideration for him. Not everything that we see on the surface of a sociopath is fair to read. This video is fantastic. Well done. It gave me a great understanding of what sociopath means. I love that you both went in there immediately with the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. Thank you!

[@sueveleke455]

I finally feel like I understand this and my child better. Thank you for being brave enough to provide this insight.

[@sk.n.9302]

Thanks Patrick & Katie. My ex husband was a narcissist but now I think he might have been a sociopath. For a long time (7 yrs) he was able to make choices & control his aggressions but this triggered chronic depression. During year 8, he broke down, started drinking & passed away as a raging alcoholic 10 years later. My hope had been that he would have been able to more logically plan his life like you have yours. I think you give so many a positive path by sharing your story. Pls keep going.

[@cherylrleigh1912]

A narcopath is a person who exhibits traits of both Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). The term is a combination of the words "narcissist" and "sociopath" or "psychopath". Narcopaths are also known as malignant narcissists and are considered to be among the most dangerous and psychologically disturbed people.

[@GinaHarrisToo]

Donald Trump. Vladimir Putin. Roger Stone. Meghan Markle. The list is endless.

[@stacysharlet3486]

And my mother. They are the worst!

[@AnimosityIncarnate]

Sam Vaknin, simultaneously giving insanely good conceptualizations and insanely bad information out in the same videos. These people are LEGIT like the riddler irl 😂

[@raygordonteacheschess5501]

The disturbed people are those who say "you've got issues" to people who protect themselves.

[@nolord2563]

@@GinaHarrisTooMeghan Markle 😂😂😂 are you delusional?

[@jabbermocky4520]

There is a distinction between sociopathy and psychopathy. But it doesn't matter much when you have been victimized by one or the other. Both psychopaths and sociopaths will do serious harm to others if they can. Deliberately. That's what they share in common. Unless you are a trained psych professional it's best to avoid both personality types if you want to stay safe and sane.

[@RM-xf9gi]

I love this lady.

[@yesitschelle]

You're right. The distinction is pretty huge to 1 in 20 people, though, who have one of those. 5% is a lot. Imagine if they were getting treatment before they grew up? Imagine if most of them became stable and safe?

[@JamFlava1]

Wrong AGAIN. I am diagnosed with ASPD and schizoid by age 27, I am 34 now. I don’t harm anyone….Why would I invest my emotions and hurt people when i don’t care about them? What do I get from it? Boosting my pathetic ego so I can feel better about myself? Sigh….Our true nature is indifferent, callous, cold, lack of empathy, limited empathy it depends on the person and emotionless at times but more in muted way. And that women who claim to be one is not an sociopath at all….I can read my own breed who has truly ASPD. We basically don’t care about humanity or society at all even It collapses. We don’t care. Right term is ASPD not sociopathy….All we know is we’re different than neurotypical individuals, which you call ‘’sociopathy’’ but we call to ourselves ‘’indifferent’’ ASPD individuals are intimidating, callous, predatory looks. Let’s face it, do you sense something off about her? I don’t think so, she is plain normal, that’s why. If she was an real ‘’sociopath’’ you can feel the aura there is something off. Most ASPD individuals have a cold presence, predatory stare. Like I said before, I can read my own breed.

[@JustWhatWatch]

​@@yesitschelle It is untreatable. Therapy just makes them better manipulators.

[@yesitschelle]

@@JustWhatWatch Evidence? If it's a single anecdote, that won't compete with serious research.

[@michaelspurling4376]

I find it amusing that the lady with the milkshake in the Mercedes might also have been a sociopath but her wealth allowed her to just get away with doing the bad things.

[@artiste335]

Definitely a sociopath. No concern about others, no concern about the environment, etc. Despicable.

[@SheCat1964]

I have suspected my youngest daughter of sociopath or BPD traits. Since she was little, she seemed to not get emotion. We would have family movie night every week and watch some disney or something with my older daughters. We would all be either crying or making oh my gosh comment, during intense moments, and she would look at us like we were from another planet. She would keep asking what what? Many times i would pause the show and explain to her what just happened.I thought at first maybe she was just zoning out and missing. At that point everything else seemed some what normal She seemed loving and empathetic. As she had grown older she has said and done some very cruel and unkind things, with zero remorse. If i bring something up that has hurt me deeply, no matter how recent, she just says bro when are you going to stop bringing that up? She is 19 now. She went through her worst faze when she was 13 to 16. She even made me very sick once by adding some strange salt to my coffee. When she finally admitted to it a year later she sad i was acting salty so she thought it would help. My acting salty was telling her i was warn out from driving her every day to her friends house, i was very weak from covid and took a long time to recover. I had to wake up to go get her every night. So i said look can we do this every second day please? She turned to me in the car and said i cant wait till you are old enough to dump in a nasty nursing home and leave you there. I had also just been through a hypotensive crisis and put on meds and was still recovering from nearly dying from covid. I could not taste. She put all this salt in my pot of coffee and my blood pressure was too high and i felt awful for days. I could have had a stroke, i have already had one TIA. I have had her cats poop rubbed on my head, glass jar thrown at my head. Shoulder checked into the wall as i walk by. Then found out i had cancer, I had to go in and have a section of lung removed. She brought home 2 cats from her bf, when they broke up, and they were peeing all over my house. I told her i cant come home and recover breathing that all in, it has to be cleaned up. It could damage my raw lung. Nope not a care. I had to stay locked in my bedroom. It does not help her father is a abusive narcissist and alcoholic, who has also filled her head with absolute garbage. Things she has accused me of, were either things hes done, or i can hear the vile lies coming out are from his mouth. When she was around 14 before the worst started, i tried to get her help yet again. I found a new lady psychiatrist at the hospital, i thought my daughter would like, she had a hard time connecting with other councilors in the past.. At that point she felt something was wrong with her. The damn Dr refused to even see my daughter, because i had said i thought she might have bpd. She was not diagnosed with anything. I even begged this drs receptionist 3 diff times. The answer was no.And if she acted out again to call the cops. I will never forget/forgive that, as my daughter ran away shortly after that, for over a year i was not even allowed to know where she was living. This all crushed me because she was my youngest and my baby. And yes i spoiled her way too much. I was making good money when she was younger, and i could afford nicer toys and things. Her sisters kinda resented that. She also did not have chores like my older girls, she had health issues younger too. I babied her. Now what is in her head, after i started geting older and sick, and had to stop working, that i was a neglectful rotten mother. Her father is her fav parent now, He will buy her pretty much anything she wants, if he has the money. He never paid me a dime in child support. He has recently convinced her i was stealing money from her. He has her convinced the child benefit i got, to help support her needs and every dime of it was used to her care and needs, was supposed to go to her, for her to use as she wanted. She may now have caused me some issues with my income. Because of the cancer and other health issues, i am now on government help. Because of her mental health issues they allowed me to keep her a dependant. But they did not give much more for her basic needs and i certainly could not afford to feed her cats. Her father had her contact my social worker and claim i was not paying for enough. I went without proper food so many times to make sure she had healthy things to eat. And she has expensive taste. So now im waiting for that hammer to fall. Wow geez i just wrote a short novel.

[@Arete37]

This deserves a long, expert answer and I hope you get one!

[@Karunda86]

I feel for you as I know what you are going through. My husband is a malignant narcissist, if I wrote down what he had done to me I doubt it would be believed. My daughter, now 22, told me three years ago she thought she was a sociopath, she was correct. These two are working together against me. She is callous, cold, vengeful, a liar, a manipulator. Everything she accuses me of is what she has done to me. He lies to her and she lies to him about me. It’s toxic to say the least. I cannot leave, I have nowhere to go. She has told so many lies about me, it is character assassination. I’m living a nightmare that I can hardly believe. I wake in the night in a panic, I am highly stressed. It is difficult for outsiders to understand what I am going through. To overhear her tell him to throw me out has been a punch to my heart. He has lied about me to his family, his boss, his friends. She has lied about me to her friends, her boyfriend, his parents and family. It’s destroying me and they laugh about it to each other, it’s amusing to them.

[@SheCat1964]

@@Karunda86 I know you feel stuck. But you have to get away. Even if its for a few months to clear your head. Watch HG Tudor. The man maybe a monster but hes the reason i knew what happened to me. He gives you the insight to the evil prospective and motives. If you do not get away it will only be worse. Please for the sake of any anity you have left, and you do have some left because you know whats going on is wrong. Find someone you can talk to. And document everything. Written or recorded.

[@valeriewa2255]

@@Karunda86I hope you get help, you cannot live like this😢I’m just discovering I have someone in my life like this. It’s scary to me, I’m not sure what they are capable of🥺

[@raygordonteacheschess5501]

They get emotion: they're just bullies who respond only to superior force.

[@jsschneiter]

Sociopath's hate being labeled intentionally cruel or mean, but regardless of intent, lack of empathy absolutely results in callous behavior. That being said, to have healthy long-term relationships, the sociopath has to acknowledge how their behavior hurts feelings - the issue is not that they hurt someone, its that they often won't credit / acknowledge that they did anything to the person who was hurt that may require time, conversation , and commitment to move past.

[@Alias_Reign]

I totally disagree with the first part of your comment. I couldn’t care less what I’m labelled by others, especially outsiders. People in my circle would know if I am cruel or mean from my actions. Empathy also isn’t a prerequisite to avoiding callous behaviour, there are plenty of evil people who have empathy and plenty of good people who feel none. The second part of your comment is simply describing how everyone has to engage with interpersonal relationships and not just a sociopath. Plenty of non-sociopaths fit the final part of your second paragraph and me, a sociopath path, doesn’t. To talk about myself a little in an attempt to illustrate my point, I enjoy philosophy; I have a grounded meta ethical foundation and I know right from wrong as much as, if not more than a person who relies on deriving their morality from empathy potentially confusing feelings, intuitions, and emotional responses with moral responses to situations. When you read: Aristotle, Kant, Moore, Spinoza, or any of the greats, its clear emotions have hardly any consideration in meta ethics. Sure, there is greater probability for a sociopath or a psychopath to be a bad person but that’s due to the lack of a personal safety net which most people are born with, along with a juvenile, uninformed world view, more so than an inherent quality. The confusion isn’t helped when every person who gets in a relationship with someone who hurts them, labels that person as a sociopath or a narcissist, simply because they hurt them. No, that person was probably just an arsehole. There’s many more arseholes in the world than sociopaths and narcissists.

[@carolaltman1107]

Her terrific command of language allows her to explain herself beautifully

[@eliz49]

Such a gift

[@patricialavallee8286]

And explain away any issues if called on the carpet at a job. Make the ones above them think she's right, we're wrong..explain it all away. As they eye their job... Snake in the grass Very often people who are they're bosses are afraid of them, and when employees go to them with complaints avoid the employees under this, " manager." Snakes 🐍 in the grass

[@patricialavallee8286]

​@@eliz49 it's not a gift. Gift of BS. Crazy like foxes, and a nightmare to work under

[@ReptillianhybridSam]

Being a diagnosed psychopath, it was seen as the most logical sense because you realized you're able to see bird eyes view of the situation with multiple undertones and codex to each individual person. I could tell your whole life story just by the way you sway your arms or the amount of muscle pressure you exude in certain movments.

[@katinabotten]

At least one nice thing about her 😝

[@kez-chick5647]

This was so interesting, as I’ve always been Taught that, All Sociopaths and Psychopaths are Narcissistic but not all Narcissists are the above. And that Psychopaths are born that way and that Sociopaths come about by there environment. It shows me that, if you get a child into therapy early enough, they have a greater chance of learning and fitting into society.

[@RiMarBrown]

If you look- Robert Hare’s work, which all work on us is premised on- was very unscientific. Part of that lack was the fact that the small sample size was almost entirely under 25, male, and incarcerated for violent crimes. Most of us are estimated to never even be diagnosed. We are impulsive as hell so it’s not that we just aren’t getting noticed on accident. We are almost never going to be diagnosed after age 30 though- and usually it will be due to some trouble we’ve caused and a court order. So, we aren’t going to be cooperative under those conditions & the assessments use very basic (to us anyway) psychological tricks to sus out information. You don’t have to be very intelligent to see someone using one of your tools poorly and understand what they are trying to do- and then to screw with them for your own amusement. We aren’t narcissists. They need you to mirror the lie for them so they can believe it- their self esteem is entirely reliant on outside reinforcement. We aren’t impacted by how others feel about us regarding our esteem. We care about how it will impact us regarding our goals and desires. All of cluster B is confusing for people without the perspective we have come to through various routes. The easiest way I could relay it to someone without it is to take the situation and then get pragmatic. And I mean very pragmatic, weaponize pragmatism.

[@bmac6645]

Learned a lot from this facinating discussion. Thank you!

[@AlgaeliASMR]

the minimization of the amount of harm caused by these sorts of people is honestly insane

[@60clow]

Great interview Katie! Thanks for sharing! So brave for Patric to share her story. 🥰

[@rfernandezlorain]

Had zero knowledge in this area. How incredibly interesting and enriching. Thank you for sharing, and making me a little smarter a bit more understanding today. ❤ to all affected.

[@artiste335]

What an excellent interview! Learned so much from Patric and Katie's superb questions and wonderful interviewing style was perfection. I think Patric's sister and her husband have helped her tremendously. She is certainly a pioneer in this field and will likely help many people in the future.

[@nettwench]

Katie you're still the best interviewer in the business!

[@AvaJochheim]

Thank you for this interview. It is very interesting to me and helpful!

[@jessicahahn6300]

Interesting, because there are people on the other side of the social emotion bell curve - who feel those social emotions *way* too intensely.

[@BBFCCO733]

That's bpd and usually are victims of these douchebags

[@Mo.1988]

@@AM-ll2nino

[@Quixotefriendly]

As sociopath and a mother, I’m proud of how she states her anger of hurt over her children is greater than what she may lack.self developed logic does reign higher than others morals and I understand that greatly. My children are very loved but it comes from being a great teacher than what I am, giving your children more than you had is common. Love and loving is always subjective so I do believe her since I know I am also affectionate knowing what you lacked your ability to give is driven further to create normalcy. I feel that all are given gifts to know, and ability try with what they are given and those who don’t understand simply won’t. Some of us our trying and thrive. Some people have been hurt and want to see us villainized, but simply it won’t hurt the same.

[@MorganNGoodman]

How does it feel to be a female sociopath because we are taught that women are sweet and good and you’re bad

[@plantlady5369]

Pat you may not care about my feelings but I care about yours and I'm so happy that you are learning and trying and also helping and informing other people. You are redeemable and even pretty cool.

[@maryhumphrey9455]

I’m proud of you for searching for answers. I’m reading your book and it is eye opening and informative and I hope it will inspire more research which needs to happen in our society for understanding and help for all who are isolated due to our differences. The serenity prayer comes to mind ✨💐

[@Nicana68]

When she describes what she felt when she stabbed a classmate with a pencil, not once did she express any remorse or concern for that child's pain or fear. The whole interview was about how SHE felt and never about anyone else.

[@always-ask-why]

Exactly!!! I don't care if she has bad intentions or no intentions - I don't want to be around her or know her. If the person she stabbed in the neck has lifelong complications from the stabbing, naturally she would not care in the least. I'm happy she isn't actively hurting people but sociopaths are bad and I think of them as more animal than human.

[@angelagladstone8863]

To be fair, this interview was about her and describing what's it was like growing up with sociopathy, so...

[@justbeingme003]

@@always-ask-why Most sociopaths are dangerous people and are to be avoided at all times. Sociopaths don't feel empathy for others but want others to be empathic towards them and they will use you. They are very manipulative and do not feel guilt if they've done something wrong. At the end of the day, they only care about themselves and what they can get from other people. It's like a game with these people and they just want to win over others. And yeah she may not be hurting people as of now, but if she lacks empathy and guilt for wrongful actions then she's just as bad as people who do commit violent crimes.

[@emilyau8023]

That's the point. I have ASPD, and I only understand cognitive pain for others. She also mentioned that.

[@emilyau8023]

​@Purplerose200 why even watch this if you're going to revert to your bias instead of being open minded that not all people with ASPD behave the same way?

[@cherylrleigh1912]

One aspect often overlooked in these discussions is that, while sociopaths may indeed lack empathy towards others, they often exhibit an abundance of empathy towards themselves. Their inability to empathize with others does not extend to themselves; rather, they frequently prioritize their own well-being and interests above all else.

[@michaelspurling4376]

Sounds like you are describing a Republican.

[@zaitunpeace]

Exactly!

[@stusidewalkrider2620]

An amazing discussion. This is groundbreaking stuff.

[@mariaverroye9510]

Katie…….Id love for you to have Dr Ramani on your show. Y’all could do a dive into malignant narcissistic sociopathic personalities (tDump).

[@DemocracyFirst2025]

She’s had her on. That’s how I discovered her.

[@emilyau8023]

Ramani has a very black and white view of ASPD, and because of that I don't like her.

[@yesitschelle]

I have my own reasons for having the wrong emotions, and I think there's a third option. As long as I cognitively understand how the people around me feel, I can express that. Say what I think it means to them, "This is so exciting, are you happy or overwhelmed?" "This must be a hard day for you," etc. People like being understood.

[@BloomByCC]

I adore that Patric is so open about her sociopathy! So fascinating and we need to talk openly about all aspects of beyond human. Thank you! How crushing that Patrics feelings are so obtuse and hazy, she wants to reach them but they're like balloons constantly out of reach. 🎈🎈🎈

[@lj9524]

Thank you both for this excellent conversation on these mental health issues. So important in so many ways.

[@itchythescratchygirl]

I really appreciate this conversation. So excellent to get a glimpse into another world.

[@janetomes]

She stabbed a child in the neck...I can't warm up to this person at all and will she do it again? She said it in such a cold manner...my ex is a sociopath and they make my skin crawl

[@emilyau8023]

That's fine, but this is when she was a child and children all have ASPD traits which is why they diagnose ASPD at adulthood cause it's not fair to say that them as a child is the same as them as an adult.

[@emilyau8023]

She was a child. She didn't have control like she does now.

[@emilyau8023]

She was a child. She didn't have control like she does now.

[@BBFCCO733]

Yep, she's using her charm to pull in suckers, which are usually her victims. They all do the same things. The truth is in action, not nice words!!

[@natatattful]

@@emilyau8023most kids know not to do this

[@barryglennon1442]

Hmm so as someone who survived a relationship with a sociopath… unfortunately I believe this to be nothing more than a clever move to sell more books, create more fame for herself, use that as leverage to manipulate more people to further her own wealth and status.

[@JillianSiobhanMal]

Yup! I’m so glad some ppl see that, but I too know how I gained that perspective. ☺Blessings to you. They can do SO much harm.

[@barryglennon1442]

Blessings to you too. All will be ok 😌

[@trillythagr8259]

Every author goes on a press tour to sell books. What's wrong with that?

[@barryglennon1442]

@@trillythagr8259intention.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

But you give no arguments for that.

[@lizzien5846]

Really fascinating interview!

[@cassandratq9301]

Doesn't sound like "the lessons landed". If the only people she can identify/emphasize with are people exactly like her, that really means she is experiencing only her own distress.

[@palmer5555]

I’m listening to Patric’s audiobook right now. It’s a bit of a spoiler learning she marries David but I’m glad they made it. Where I am in the book right now they are going through a very tough time. Most people would be throwing in the towel & breaking up. I’m glad to learn they stick it out & continue to grow individually & as a couple. I also must say how lucky Patric is just by the family she was born into - white, middle-to-upper middle class socioeconomic situation, parents who were emotionally & financially stable, even though they divorced when Patric was young. They were not perfect human beings but they were able to provide an environment where Patric could (sort of) safely figure herself out. Many young people with sociopathy are not given this opportunity. She hasn’t talked about this at all in the book and I hope she does at some point. Her born-given privilege definitely gave her a leg up.

[@gracenurse3365]

Absolutely. Most people cannot acknowledge their own privileges.

[@samhartford8677]

She acknowledged that right in the beginning of this conversation.

[@artiste335]

Definitely true. Also, her sister and her husband have been very healing for her.

[@lukeworldwide]

What an amazing and really important conversation. Unrecognised and untreated sociopathy and psychopathy is bad for those individuals, and is occasionally CATASTROPHIC for society. I really feel that the psychology profession has let society down by not improving the very low general understanding of this issue. Thanks Patric and Katie for this fascinating and important conversation. 😊

[@natatattful]

Just occasionally? Definitely not occasionally.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@natatattfulActually, it’s sometimes beneficial to society.

[@Destroymaster100]

she's awesome for being real. i have a hard time as a sociopath to even talk to anyone. i like that she speaks out. its hard. we're not crazy animals.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

Of course you’re not. Our understanding of these things is still in its infancy. For now, it is easy for people to project their own flaws onto sociopaths/narcissists/borderlines. Whereas numerically the most evil that’s done in the world (think Nazism, say) is done by ‘normal’ people.

[@cassandratq9301]

Essentially, outing herself as a sociopath has relieved the pressure of pretending. That doesn't mean she's actually healed. She herself acknowledges that the "urge" (pressure) is still there.

[@Calle.Hutch..]

She has done really important work to find ways to actually want to do good and actually feel empathy towards others. We all have urges, some of us struggle more than others, and I know some neurotypical people who act atrociously and are propped up by people around them. Sociopathy does not inherently make a person evil just like being neurotypical does not make a person good, and the negative stereotypes around it are what is holding sociopaths back from coming forward and taking the steps to heal. This video gave me a tremendous amount of hope because I always knew it was possible to connect the bridge over the lack of understanding that sociopaths have toward pro-social behavior, but there wasn’t anyone trying to do it. You have to meet them where they’re at to understand where they’re coming from.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@Calle.Hutch..Agreed.

[@cherylrleigh1912]

Our understanding of the prevalence of sociopaths and psychopaths remains obscured by limited research and the reluctance of individuals with these traits to seek treatment. A significant portion of the available research is conducted within prison populations, leading to an erroneous assumption of their prevalence primarily within such environments. However, it's imperative to recognize that sociopaths exist across various societal contexts, not solely within the confines of correctional facilities.

[@jerrydeanswanson79]

Morning Katie. Thanks for the discussion. And Hello from Wisconsin.

[@Sarah-gk5wo]

Thank you Patrick 😊 it's nice to finally find answers.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

This is exactly how i feel. Hurting others isn’t meant to hurt them it just feels like releasing pressure or needing to do it because it feels good

[@i.ehrenfest349]

Do you feel bad afterwards?

[@janellemarie93]

I laughed so hard when Katie said what if I just got up in church and started screaming! 😂😂😂 I feel the SAME way Katie.

[@deblarosa1703]

Thank you for the WONDERFUL insight in being able to add to my self education. I am very touched and impressed with the degree of vulnerability and transparency relayed. Thank You!

[@cassandratq9301]

It's important to acknowledge that she admits to engaging in criminal behavior.

[@cassandratq9301]

It's more than "mischief". (She basically said that when she was in the music industry she engaged in theft. Go back + listen carefully.)

[@Hellokitty002]

@@cassandratq9301what did you expect? One of ASPDs giant warning signs is literally disregarding laws and rules. Of course at least once in her life she’s going to do something that is “illegal” or “wrong” because she wanted it or it benefited her.

[@ko-dd5cp]

I’d be so curious to hear Patrick’s take on HSPs and if this is the opposite end of the sociopathic spectrum!

[@siyandadlamini496]

True

[@i.ehrenfest349]

I’m no expert. But I would say not. I think the opposite of sociopathy is empathy. I’m clearly a HSP person, and I feel empathy and can feel it strongly, but much of the time I actually disengage from the world because it’s all too painful. I have a friend I regard as very highly empathetic. When she sees a child cry she automatically cries, too, she can’t help it. That doesn’t happen to me. I’m very much not sociopathic and live with deep feelings and anxieties. But my friend is definitely more empathetic than me.

[@dannybrashear5857]

I question if sociopathy can be called a disease if it provides an individual with an advantage for survival. As a biologist, I see an evolutionary advantage for such an individual in a world without the rule of law. History is full of sociopathic societies that overwhelmed others with their superior skills for warfare because it is much easier to terrorize others if you don't feel terror yourself. I think that our current political climate may be giving us a glimpse into just how prevalent sociopathy is in our society which suggests it is much closer to 25%. The prevalence of sociopathy may actually be what tips the balance between having an advanced civilization and the intermittent periods where chaos rules. Evolutionarily speaking, the superior individual is the one that most effectively spreads their genes and has nothing to do with how advanced a civilization is unless the rule of law prevents sociopaths from thriving.

[@janedoe1146]

Great observation, so well articulated! Everything you stated makes sense and is what i've been struggling to understand about society these days. And i agree, it does seem like there's a huge population as you stated at 25%. Thank you!

[@kmhkennedy]

Yeah I would say not. Social relationships and community are one of humanities foundational survival traits. We built our society (note society) on communal living, shared resource etc. we have countless examples of the ways we learnt to “trust” each other, handshakes to show we don’t have a weapon etc. etc. and people who put that trust at risk are a detriment not a benefit. The masking behaviors have developed as a result of the seemingly innate knowledge that sociopathic behavior fundamentally put the individual at risk of being ousted from society. Masking is not the disorder itself but a symptom of it being hidden. We won’t know what the disorders actual innate symptoms are until the mask is fully removed. So we can’t know what the benefits and drawback are. Also because we don’t know if it’s hereditary we don’t know if it is a gene that can be passed on or not. I would argue that all societies are sociopathic given that a society cannot feel emotion the same way an individual can. It’s by nature diluted by the differing perspectives of each individual who makes up that society. One person might feel anger why another feels sadness. For a society to reflect like an individual there would have to be a singular focus of opinion and emotion. Sociopathic society, is a term that really encompasses the overuse of buzz words, directly against what this interview was talking about. Multiple person disorder society, narcissistic society, bi polar society. It’s a little bit goofy. Also, what stops a sociopathic society from cannibalizing itself? If each individual struggles to empathize (without treatment) with the person standing next to them, and there can only be so many kings and winners in a society I would think a civil war is more likely for “sociopathic society” than any form concerted effort to over throw a neighbor

[@angelagladstone8863]

I have similar thoughts about ASD, HSP, ADHD to name a few. I can definitely see an evolutionary advantage and necessity to have a wide spread of talents and characteristics within a tribe as a basis for survival. You need the level headed thinkers, the ones that notice a tiny stick cracking, the hunters with boundless energy, those in tune with the mood of a group...

[@Bar_Bar27]

Sociopathy is a behaviour of the cave man. It's not an evolution, it's going backwards in evolution

[@RiMarBrown]

We are…. Definitely well adapted to using what is available in the most pragmatic way possible. We just tend toward extremes & will always prefer to use too much force than not enough. We make great leaders in that we are very naturally drawn toward similar views as are in “The Prince” by Machiavelli but we have little desire to deal with people who aren’t going to cooperate if we have our hands tied by things like HR. I incorporate others into my sense of “self” in attempt to be more economical with others as a resource to be spent. The result is that the people I have reason to align with in a situation get treated to the same unflinching focus regarding all things other as I have always used for myself- and sometimes that means those people can’t believe I went overboard & don’t call me again unless they want the problem solved “no matter what it takes.” There are far too many of us & no reason for us to seek to help others outside our personal sphere of influence that isn’t defeated by the contrasting overabundance of neurotypical emotive insanity we see every day. Most of us aren’t going to be noticed if we aren’t noticed by age 30- and once we have matured past the youthful part of life and our brains are fully developed we usually get told we are displaying behaviors and describing mental instances that contradict our diagnosis; we are accused of duplicity even when we are being genuine. Unlike most humans- if we encounter an issue and fail to over come it we try a new tactic immediately. After several attempts with no success despite novel approaches, we cease entirely. We are far from insane. Still, I’d say we are definitely disordered even thought I don’t think any of us would say we suffer- or be willing to let someone even attempt to fix us. Study us, help us study ourselves- sure.

[@HomeFromFarAway]

some of the psycopaths I have heard in interviews talk about just not "getting" fear as an emotion. and the brain anomalies seem to point to the fear response being diminished

[@GiovannaLoureiro__]

This interview is wonderful!!!

[@anthonyarroyo6174]

The way she talks about karmic consequences really resonates with me. Because often (as diagnosed ASPD myself) it’s not easy to pretend that you have a conscious directing you to do “what’s right” like most people are naturally born with. Instead, in my opinion with other individuals dealing with the same thing can rationalize their intentions through spirituality.

[@anthonyarroyo6174]

You have to create your own rule book in order to survive

[@tg_5565]

Important information and perspective. Invaluable. Thoroughly engaging. Thank you.

[@terencecampbell4770]

I was born an orphaned foster kid and counseled most of my life..things didn't start to feel better until I came to realize these people invent disorders then analyze them so they can have a job-"Its all psychobabble rap to me"-Alan Parsons

[@ThirdEyeThrifter]

Great interview… I learned a lot. Thanks to you both.

[@ShittyEditing]

Thank you so much, i found out 2 months ago. Ive felt so unhuman. You showed me human. Thank you

[@GinaHarrisToo]

Great interview! I have the book in my queue. Even more eager to read it now.

[@MinSuAlbion]

First of all, this interview was amazing and really eye opening for me personally. Listening to childhood of your experiences and things you went through almost felt like you were talking about me. Even tho I come from completely different place, with completely different social background, culture and gender. I apologise in advance if some of the things I say are wrong or difficult to understand, English is not my native language. Our childhoods almost feel as a mirror image from what you talked about and experienced. However I feel latter on I have taken completely different path in life. Because i never was open about my issue to anyone and I barely done any research on the case because every time I did all you can find and see were basic quiz with no real help and everyone who ever talked about it always said “don’t interact with sociopath, they are evil, they lie manipulate and they can care only about them selves. Few things you said: sociopaths often share similar symptoms or behaviour of anti social disorder and personality disorder. In my personal experience the reason why is the way we learned when we were young and the way we dealt with our issues on or own. I have a lack of emotions, first tool I have is follow and closely monitor people around me and just simply copy them, from classmates to tv shows in really young age (4 - 6 years old until now) I was aware of my issue and wanted to go under radar so I always copy someone and learn from them. And for anti social behaviour. I always tried to be normal and not stand out and people not discover me. I always found it easier to lie to less people or manipulate smaller crowds. And every time I jumped into bigger groups of people or just social environment my head just goes through such a mess to understand how the hell I should act that I simply shut down and try to say as little as possible. So in the way, the way we kept it to our selves and the way we dealt with this problem on our own, caused external problems. I never dealt with my issue, I only oppressed it. However, it has hit me really hard in my life in many many ways. I have really bad things I have done and ignoring problem and operating it is really not the way to deal with it. I hope there is more research about it and instead of us going through our lives as little children and trying to understand how to help ourselves more experienced people would be our support. That’s why I am really thankful for your job and chance for me to understand myself better.

[@pthornton102652]

Katie, you made me laugh out loud - for real - when you talked about sitting in church, and your imagination started thinking about what would have happened if you did something crazy. Only recently, I had similar thoughts while on Corporate Zoom Meetings with over 100 Attendees. Cheers!

[@JigsawBell]

One of these people used to work at my job. This woman knew her job was in jeopardy, so what was her solution? Instead of doing her job as told, (without permission)she brought in her teenage daughter to work. Literally, she was having her daughter sit at her desk and doing her job. She believed, that if we saw that she had a daughter, she could not be fired. She was fired immediately.

[@wendyfilice7274]

Such an interesting interview. Thank you so much for sharing.❤

[@tartgreenapple1]

Its interesting how many comments are from a place of stereotypes and common "knowledge" (which may not be accurate). Many obviously didn't listen. This illustrates the stigma of many mental/neurological conditions. People think they know things, they dont and they help perpetuate a (bad) cycle. I appreciated this discussion. It was very interesting and thought provoking and I wish more would listen. I would like to point out that "neurotypical" is not necessarily the opposite of sociopath as she uses it. I'm neurodivergent but I didn't fit under her definition which seemed to be simply, sociopathy. Being "overly" empathetic, I hardly related to those unfeeling situations. The masking, though? I can definitely relate. I'm simply pointing that out as clarification, not a criticism. I think she's super bold and brave to put herself out there like this. I really hope that her book, her story, etc can help to change people's minds on health stigmas, jumping to conclusions and abelism. Thank you to both of you!

[@emilyau8023]

You seem like a very smart person. I have ASPD, and so many try to dehumanize me and accuse me of doing things I didn't when they don't know me. It's interesting how some neurotypicals want to view themselves as superior to neurodivergence, but I have met the most cruelest neurotypicals that could be even worse than someone with ASPD.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@emilyau8023 I don’t have aspd, but I tend to agree with you. It’s as if people are happy to project all their worst traits onto sociopaths, so they don’t have do anything about the nastiness in themselves. And there’s plenty of that.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

That’s odd, to me - you have a lot of empathy, but you do mask? I wonder why? Or could it be that you have some degree of high functioning autism?

[@Yappington69]

I needed this

[@melissawilliamson8871]

Thank you Katie. This was fascinating. You have exceptional skills 👏.

[@jbricks3358]

I’m curious if there are any IFS experts here willing to apply the internal family systems paradigm to socicopathy.

[@sharonhearne5014]

Two of my siblings plus my mom have sociopathy, I think, although my mom may have been a full blown psychopath. My sibling is highly intelligent and seems well versed in imitating normal human behavior but hides episodes of compulsive sexuality and normal conversations appear to hide narcissism and repressed aggressiveness. As in the instance presented this sister abused a younger neighborhood child for no apparent reason to the point where both sets of parents had to intervene or a lawsuit or youth incarceration was imminent.

[@patrickthestar132]

I have antisocial personality too, people misunderstand a lot of times and usually I don't disclose. I'm not a monster, but i have the potential to be really cruel if someone crosses me, for the most part I see it as having different motivations. Life can seem a bit meaningless at some point when I see myself missing out on stuff, but even if i have this thought I end up not caring. I'm quite impulsive(have adhd too) but meds take care of that. I usually conform to the world or people around me because it makes things easier for me, going completely against the current is just not a good place to be. If you are nice to me though I will be nice to you and you can be sure I don't do it because I feel obliged to or because i care deeply about you, I ACTIVELY CHOOSE to be nice to you in return, which is meaningful I believe. I see a lot of people doing or saying things only because it is expected of them or they are driven by some emotion, for me it's a conscious thought to do something nice idk if that makes sense

[@RiMarBrown]

It does; but, I was diagnosed almost 20 years ago so I wasn’t who you were trying to relate it to. I agree, also. We can’t just let our emotions lead for us- we are doing it for ourselves or we are doing it because we cognitively made a choice to do it despite it benefiting us not at all. Without the emotive feedback from “doing good for others” that most people seem to rely on, we can do things selflessly in a true sense. They are always getting something out of it, even if it’s just that feeling.

[@totizedger]

I have come to the conclusion myself that i might have ASPD or NPD as i have this empty feeling inside me constantly and my emotions are very weak, if i look back to how i was during the later years of my childhood i can see the signs but what does confuse me is that i remember that my emotions were strong in the earlier years of my childhood so i guess i haven’t always been this way. I feel i need to receive attention by other people often or i will feel empty inside and i have had grandiose thoughts too. I am trying to just fit in and treat other people with respect and empathy even though i only seem to have the cognitive empathy. I really wish i could have the emotions and empathy of a normal person because life really feels meaningless

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@RiMarBrownThat makes some sense - yes, we usually do good because it makes us feel good. (Although I certainly also do it when I really, really don’t feel like it. Sometimes, anyway.) But it’s inherently true, biologically, that we all always ‘get something out of it’s. When you do something good, why do you do it? Surely there’s a reason, it’s not random.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@totizedgerThat sucks. I don’t know what that’s like - I never feel empty, I feel too filled with emotions, it’s very hard. Do you think something happened to you as a child, that changed your brain? Like a fall when you hit your head, or an illness that impacted the brain?

[@totizedger]

@@i.ehrenfest349 Yes i haven’t always been like this but i have hit my head on the ceiling and lamps a couple of times in my life as i’m very tall and also a guy that bullied me punched me in the head so maybe i got brain damage or something but i really don’t know why i have become like this but i really don’t want to live like this not feeling fully present and having my emotions so flat. My childhood wasn’t perfect as my father used to compare me to others often and i felt like i was never good enough for him so i started trying to make my father proud of me but i feel that i never got the appreciation fully. My mother is a fantastic person and i feel way closer to her than my father, she was always comforting me and supportive and she is an extremely empathetic person and i really am very grateful that she was there for me but i’m afraid that i will never be able to feel love or true empathy towards anyone i’m just doing what’s right and be a good person and i do feel the need to protect everyone in my family especially my mother for everything she has done for me. I never have violent urges or want to create chaos which is what people with ASPD usually have so i really don’t know what’s wrong with me

[@justrosy5]

I'd like to know where the following fit in with all of this: 1a) Autism 1b) Aspergers 2) Borderline Personality Disorder (in relationship to the rest of these) 3a) Narcissism (In relationship to the rest of these) 3b) Boomer/Joneser Generation(s) 3c) GenX/Millennial Generation(s) 3d) The parent/child relationship between both sets in 3b & 3c 3e) The remaining generations and all the relationships between all the generations, etc. 4) Bi-Polar 5) Our nation's economics, from our workforce to homelessness to our prisons 6) What our politicians are doing to improve everything for everyone affected by all these things in the US.

[@gracenurse3365]

Good luck! I’m sure you can figure all that out by bedtime!

[@chrishagreen3988]

42

[@Flowergirl7x7]

"Boomers" & "Generation X!" Don't talk silly 🙄😌🙏🏻🇬🇧 That's ridiculous. Nothing to do with this. & Millennials are Far worse re Entitlement

[@sincerelyme-777]

We need these insights in our House of Representatives and country. Sounds like an important platform to me!

[@Poppy-yx8js]

I have a sister I think is a sociopath. I don’t know her well. She’s a half sister. I feel sorry for her. She doesn’t have any remorse for terrible behavior and seemingly no insight into how bad her behavior is.

[@Poppy-yx8js]

In addition to that I was targeted by a sociopath for 30 years- I thought she was borderline but I know now I was wrong. I found out things she was doing behind my back that caused permanent harm to me that is really awful. It’s difficult because they seem to make justifications for the harm and be able to convince more uneducated people they are victims.

[@Poppy-yx8js]

And I know Patric from someplace. I know this face.

[@emilyau8023]

If she doesn't become smarter like me, she will be a low functioning one.

[@BRAVEONPRECIOUS]

Well, we have at least 5% of the population classified as Sociopaths (I personally believe is more than 5%) so this interview and her work is certainly useful to broaden our understanding of many behaviors we cannot accept and / or understand.

[@justwatching1985]

Adding all the narcissists and other cluster B people, my guess is it’s 40% of the population. And then we have people growing up in toxic systems copying their behavior. It’s a mess …

[@marthapond7070]

She is very brave and her journey demonstrates immense empathy. Her understanding of herself as with all people is her salvation. Imagine having to try to act differently from your essential self as a child? Maybe the shame created some of the sociopathic emergence.

[@coopersmom8339]

I think Patric should have her own podcast with an interview her husband as well. I would love to hear about her husband's unconditional love and efforts to work with Patric to get through their end of relationship. I can give huge credit towards her husband who's always been willing to listen and working with Patric for many years. I think it's crucial for people who have any type of personality issue need an opportunity to meet and work with a person who truly like, understand and have the other feel fully accepted regardless of who they are. Normally we all should have this from our parents being fully loved, accepted when we grow up, however, there are significant population who lack of this essential love from their parents. I have no doubt Patric's husband must've been nurtured by down to earth loving parents. This interview helps me to understand more about people who have sociopathic behavior. Thank you.

[@aktchungrabanio6467]

For the love of god DO NOT STAY IN A RELTATIONSHIP WITH A SOCIOPATH.

[@shari9055]

What made her so angry with the littering woman? Was it jealousy because she was so brazenly acting out her own sociopathy herself? It wasn’t because she empathized with the planet, right? Or others who are impacted by the litter. And then so much glee and laughter over doing it? She just said she doesn’t experience pleasure after hurting people, this story is inconsistent with that.

[@emilyau8023]

Okay. We can feel anger and disgust. I'm disgusted by slobs and people who don't respect the planet cause I live on it. She also says she cognitively understands this by looking at it through her point of view. But also her religious views mix into that as well. In the context, she's saying she doesn't get pleasure. It's a release of built-up pressure that builds up again and again. That should answer your question.

[@RiMarBrown]

I think it was more “is this one fair to play with?” Than anger. I do similar- I enjoy when I see someone being wontonly cruel, arrogant, or anything else negative that causes most neurotypicals to grumble when they see it and are just too…. Whatever they are that stops them from confronting the negative. It means that I can mess with them and most people won’t care at all. Granted- I don’t look for it I just find it amusing & will stop to mention it when I see it. If they don’t take the bait I go on my way, if they react brazenly and I need a distracting bit of entertainment then they just agreed to play with me.

[@hearsayfiles]

I only felt after a life long of probing pushing from my narc mother, anxiety, walk this way talk that way, your no good you don't do as I say, you don't care about us you have no empathy or same mindednesss and feelings. I felt so distant and had of course low self-esteem from that. so I felt just anxiety. later on when I got the self-esteem back and the help I minimally needed I finally felt confident, just after making more money. I got the praise back from my parents so to speak. their shame from being an asp Tourette kid I internalized as anxiety. it's away now so exhausting. always finding a mask. I love stillness in me today. edit, it led to not hating people but just feeling nauseating from the social pushing im just not feeling.

[@Arete37]

Parents who only see their kids as being some kind of reflection of themselves, that hurts. You feel like they don't see the real you, and you don't know who you are because of that. Glad you found peace.

[@mpetry912]

Great topic. Listening with interest. Great glasses !

[@jamespoulin7186]

I take lithium and quetiapine, and have been for close to 8 years. As a result, my symptoms regarding impulsiveness and aggression were cut by close to 70%.

[@Stevexnycautomotive]

No one is perfect and every one is far from it.

[@Kari.F.]

That's very true. However, being a flawed human is VERY different from being a perpetually destructive force in other people's lives. Sociopaths and narcissists can seek help and do a lot of hard work and introspection to overcome their personality disorders, like this lady has done. Statically, very few of them have the self insight necessary to admit to themselves - let alone anyone else - that they need it.

[@RiMarBrown]

I was diagnosed aspd almost 20 years ago- high probability of psychopathy and after what I think was an fmri they determined I had no abnormality and so Secondary psychopathy aspd. In the first 2 minutes… This is the first time after I stopped seeing my diagnosing psychotherapist that I heard someone even get remotely close to describing us. I’d like to see this woman do a study dealing with those of us who have grown from our youthful disdain of others. Hearing her try to put to words what is in our heads is… well it is nice to see someone else have the same issues with it to be sure; and it somewhat makes me concerned she will succeed well enough to make neurotypicals a threat to us. We scare the sht out of them and they will be a problem before they are a help.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

I wouldn’t worry about that too much. Society turns against certain groups of people with the reliability of a clock. Remember when borderliners were target number one? Right now borderliners are almost forgotten, and it’s narcissists. In other times it’s gay people. Atheists. Immigrants. Whatever. I think it would be good if society got better informed about sociopathy, so they would recognise the signs, but I don’t see it happening any time soon. A society informed about sociopathy and narcissism would not elect Donald trump. The information is literally everywhere - absolutely anyone could know. But what do they do? Elevate him to the highest position in the land, if not the world. We’re a long, long way from people understanding psychopathology.

[@Keepitkind7]

Oh my. I've had that exact same feeling in church a few times. It's entertaining to think of the reactions to a scream. Would never do it and reminds me of the control we have and how were all mostly doing OK as a society...mostly. Brave of Patric to tell her story.

[@KingLulzington]

47:12 that was so real.. you have to rely on the external to navigate

[@dianayoga2010]

I am reading it. It is beautifully written. Bravo for this jewel.

[@iUnderstand]

22:05 Although faking it is exhausting and frustrating, I think it is necessary to keep relationships intact. It makes sense to temporarily compromise myself in order to make others permanently feel better (or to at least make it so they are comfortable with my reaction, and to avoid giving those, 'is this person not happy for me,' thoughts to the people I will be dealing with again at some point).

[@Arete37]

But wait. If you felt like you SHOULD demonstrate your feelings of sadness about your ferret dying, wasn't that feeling of a need to respond like others because you needed a sense of being one of-- us? You wanted to fit in? You did care about the feelings of others as long as they related to you, maybe. This is a great video, I'm learning a lot. I'm a therapist. And I do feel like I've been in the presence of true evil twice. People who took pleasure in the pain of others and whose goal was to cause them distress. I could easily imagine them killing someone.

[@emilyau8023]

Hello, I have ASPD, and I will be honest and say yes I personally just wanted to fit in. But I never will.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

There’s caring about the feelings of others and there’s caring about the feelings of others. Someone may care to fit in, care to have friends and support, care to appear normal - which, to me, does not equate to being truly concerned about the inner experience of the other person. I’m not a therapist and I’m not aspd, so I’m just speaking from the heart - as much as there are people trying to vilify sociopaths, I think many people like you and me strain ourselves to see kindness and empathy in sociopaths or in deep narcissists. It is hard for us to believe that someone may have only a very limited capacity for such feelings. And next thing you know, we’re a victim to one of them, because we so much want to see the good. I personally don’t believe Patric is a ‘bad’ person at all. But I also think we shouldn’t romanticize her. She wants to be a decent person, I believe. But she’ll never feel your pain, or anyone else’s.

[@Poppy-yx8js]

I would like to know why sociopaths gaslight people and try to make their victims feel like they are the ones with a PD.?

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Same. What a devastating issue to be accused of not caring when you do and it's the sociopath that doesn't care. Especially if it's a parent or spouse.

[@CrashBoomBang78]

Because it shifts the blame away from them and prevents you from recognizing what they are doing as abuse.

[@emilyau8023]

I have not done that since elementary school

[@dareal5401]

Its toying for fun tbh

[@nolord2563]

Idiotic thread

[@gkamericanprincess]

Patric never describes her trauma or abuse she received that caused her to become sociopathic.

[@ChristineMcPhee-qe4rw]

I'm truly fascinated by this conversation, and do plan to read this book. I am particularly interested in the link between psychopathy and temperament (I work in early child development). Two other questions: - do sociopaths use their foreheads less, since they have flatter affect, or did Patric have botox to her forehead - does she see overlap between sociopathy and FASD?

[@taylorblue8141]

Very interesting discussion. Thanks Katie & Patric for this excellent interview. Learned a lot. Keep up the research and writings Patric. Katie, I agree with Patric - you are level headed and always bring an open mind and thoughtful perspective to your interviews. Thank you both for sharing. Stay safe. 💙💙

[@cherylrleigh1912]

Sociopaths exist because there's a necessity for their unique traits. Highly empathic individuals, while deeply attuned to emotions, may not always possess the emotional resilience required for tasks that necessitate a lack of empathy. This contrast sheds light on why leadership roles often find better alignment with individuals who possess such traits.

[@jannetteberends8730]

I have Alexithymia, I don’t really experience my emotions. That makes empathy difficult, because that’s an emotions. But there are a lot of people that like to discuss their problems with me. A friend told me once why. She said that everyone is having pity, but I analyze and discuss the problem. And that also.helps. So everyone has its place and function in this world. I’m a person that likes to analyze problems, and like to entangle them. (I don’t solve them)

[@budawang77]

Sociopathy is not an accepted term amongst psychologists. There is no real distinction between sociopathy and psychopathy, except perhaps one of degree. Psychopathy is best seen as a spectrum disorder with highly empathic and altruistic people at one end and people with no empathy (psychopaths) at the other end.

[@maracuja888]

All sociopaths are narcissistic, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Cutting is usually associated with Borderline.

[@jasminegandara1603]

THE MILKSHAKE!! 😂 Karma delivered! But seriously, this was so informative thank you

[@alexandern8hgeg5e9]

1:25 If they behave the same, maybe they are the same. Also the difference is meaningless if they behave the same. 1:40 There is no easy way to differentiate between someone pretending to have learned to have an emotion and someone who actually has this emotion. 1:55 Which might or might not be true. I think the actual difference is habit. If you are like that, stay away from "bad habits" or you will end up in prison.

[@cassandratq9301]

The numbers are so much larger than is acknowledged. Both psychopaths + sociopaths are cunning + adept at disguising their condition. How can we possibly accurately estimate the numbers?