DM Brings SNAKE FETISH Into DnD | r/rpghorrorstories

[@sentientbottlecap]

Story 1: This guy is an animal HANDLER. He should be arrested for how he treated the snake or at least fired so he doesn’t hurt anymore animals.

[@starofjustice1]

And wedgied for good measure.

[@EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE737]

He'd probably like it-​@@starofjustice1

[@saikotamagachi7884]

All he did was put the snake in his lap.

[@tophatcat1173]

​@@saikotamagachi7884 look if you don't see the problem with what he did then that sounds like a you problem.

[@saikotamagachi7884]

@@tophatcat1173 I was semi distracted listening to the first story, let me relisten

[@Omnywrench]

Speaking as someone who has a lot of weird fetishes: How fucking difficult is it to keep that shit to yourself? I've seen a lot of stories like the first one here, where the DM goes full-on "Dare you enter my MAGICAL REALM?" with their players, and it baffles me how they either don't notice or don't care how uncomfortable they're making everyone else involved. See, the thing is, simply having weird fetishes isn't a bad thing. Even if you're into something with gross or immoral themes like diapers or vore or even rape fantasies, it's still just fantasies; it has no bearing on your actual morals. The real problem in these stories is the lack of consent between the DM and the players. If you want to discuss or indulge in fetishes with someone else, you need to be certain that they're cool with that and that you're both in a space where that sort of thing is accepted, be it in your own home or an RP chatroom or whatever. Hell, if he wanted to run an NSFW campaign full of Yaun-Ti sex and everyone was cool with it, that'd be totally fine! Although from what the story is implying, the DM is also using his pet snake as a personal masturbatory aid, AKA he's committing actual bestiality. That there is definitely illegal/immoral and he should not be allowed near any animal ever again.

[@solosynapse]

Yea, he needs to be reported to the police, the SPCA, and his employer.

[@bigboybastard7162]

As someone who owns a pet snake, i dont know how the hell you use a snake to beat off. I dont want to try to figure it out, but that just seems implausible cause they will just straight up bite you at that point. Sounds like ge has a type of garter snake as well, so they do carry some very mild venom. All in all, snakes are friends, not pocket pussies

[@draconicfeline6177]

I think it's a combo of fetish and the lack of proper socialization and empathy that leads to the "clearly everyone feels the same way I do they're just not brave enough to say it, I'm a hero." He thinks everyone secretly feels the same way as he does. So messed up.

[@draconicfeline6177]

That or he's into making them uncomfortable

[@TheLaughingDove]

As someone with weird fetishes and knows a lot of people with weird fetishes, sadly the answer is that the only ones you actually hear about are the fucked up subset who reveal them, ykno? By nature, you're not gonna hear from or find the ones that actually hide them well because they're hidden. Snake guy is a real spectacle though, jeeeesus. Huge fucking yikes.

[@byronsmothers8064]

About story 3: OP's punishment didn't even have anything to do with the heroic sacrifice, the GM left a single flaw in his overpowered big bad, and seemingly got upset that OP's weak and broken(damaged) character found it, so the cronenberg fusion was their petty payback.

[@SaturnSenshi3105]

I’m worried he works with animals. Sounds like a Kero the wolf if you know what I mean. Edit: oh god it is

[@monikasernek1177]

Does he still try to get popular again.

[@SaturnSenshi3105]

@@monikasernek1177 kero? Yeah he tries

[@monikasernek1177]

@@SaturnSenshi3105 So far I remember doesn't he try to be a vtuber and has a voice modulator?

[@Xalerdane]

I have no idea what you’re talking about. Am I better off not knowing?

[@monikasernek1177]

@@Xalerdane Yeah - maybe. Just know his "fans" are still defending him and while he's "not as bad" as the other guys whose chats got leaked - he did bad things to his dog.

[@brianvance1178]

I’ve got a Minotaur fighter character with the gladiator background. He literally fights for the entertainment of the masses. Despite his scary appearance, he’s a pretty chill dude outside of the arena

[@andrewbyrne2173]

I’m a-mazed by that.

[@brianvance1178]

@@andrewbyrne2173 taking this bull by the horns will be a big mistake

[@andrewbyrne2173]

You may be talking bull****

[@Keiji555]

Chivalric knights did exist. In fact, they had the code quite ingrained into their heads. Why do you think they held people like the Black-Douglas, or King Arthur as paragons of knighthood?

[@tefnutofhoney2832]

Even if they did exist, they werent the majority. Just like bushido, chivalry is put up on a pedastal when 1: it wasnt as glamorous as modern interpretations. 2: it just wasnt followed when inconvinient.

[@Keiji555]

@@tefnutofhoney2832 It did exist, and it was made to be the majority. It was set in place by Kings because their nobility were too much out of control and brutal, and it was implemented and pounded into knights and samurai's heads to behave in an honourable way. Why do you think when people like the Black Prince and Oda Nobunaga were so shocking at the time? Because they tossed the rules away, when at the times there were rules that you followed in war, and it was to limit horrendous events. Why do you think people like Mitsuhide Akechi turning on Nobunaga was so shocking at the time, when you had the other generals that were fed up with Nobunaga, all put together their militaries without consulting with each other? It was a race to Nobunaga, who slaughtered Mitsuhide's mother, which is why he is really debated, as attacking women and elders was a big no-no. 1) It may not have been as glamorous, but it was made to limit the brutality. It was like the Geneva Convention of the times, and it was followed strictly. 2) It isn't black and white (As many who try to subvert and misconstrue it.) as what many may think it is. Why is it that despite the invasion of Korea at the orders of Hideyoshi, why Kiyomasa isn't as popular as Sanada Yukimura? Yukimura was set as an example for Samurai to follow, and was also popular and had shrines dedicated to him in Korea, for his noble actions. Stop being subversive and edgy, and try to look at it fairly. Just because the elite and those in charge say that these codes of conduct are to be slandered and blackened because they don't want gentlemanly and ladylike behaviour, doesn't mean you have to swallow the propaganda wholesale.

[@solosynapse]

​@@tefnutofhoney2832That doesn't mean that everyone who picked up a weapon was a chaotic evil psycho. And historical accuracy doesn't mean anything in a game with dragons & wizards.

[@kyriss12]

If I remember right such warrior codes usually only applied to people of equal or greater social status, and it was often followed by the letter if not the spirit (in other words a warrior might not be able to tell a lie, but they certainly knew how to twist the truth.)

[@Juju2927]

Whenever someone use the "Historical accuracy" argument for DND, I always want to scream at them "When the fuck dragons were historically accurate ?"

[@Drakid13Re3kt]

This is what i tell them when they question my inclusion of a 2012 honda accord

[@nokh3382]

⁠@@Drakid13Re3kt To be fair, the inclusion of a 2012 Honda Accord isn’t really a historical issue but rather a setting issue. Unless you’re playing a game with a more modern or comedic setting.

[@patjacksonpodium]

Snake story - 1) Snakes aren't poisonous. They might be venomous, though. 2) Yeah, vemomous snakes (if it was venomous, which I wonder about because that would be crazy to have sitting on your junk) shouldn't be handled like that. Depends on the snake and its temperment, but that's pretty dumb, especially around people who arent comfortable. 3) That aside, most snakes arent scary. They're little silly noodle babies and they don't mean any harm. At least if you are a responsible pet owner, which this guy does not seem to be. Just wanted to give some justice for snakes in the comments. Once you wear a 5 ft python like a scarf or on your head like a hat and they are just chilling and booping their little snoot around your face giving you snake kisses...its hard to be afraid of them anymore. Although I know some people just have phobias they cant get over, they really arent scary, guys. ❤️🐍

[@CyberSaurian]

I agree. Snakes are some of our ancestors' most adorable predators

[@stefankroon4615]

Plenty of snakes are poisonous, for the record. If it hurts you if you eat it, it's poisonous, and a good number of types of snake venom is poisonous in this way. There's even some snakes that have defensive loison like toads do.

[@patjacksonpodium]

​@@stefankroon4615Fair enough. I stand corrected. However, in the context of the situation they clearly should have said venomous though, as I assume they were worried about being bit and not "What would happen if I ate this thing?"

[@heatherharrison264]

Some snakes, including garter snakes, eat poisonous amphibians and incorporate the poison into their bodies, rendering them poisonous. Garter snakes are also very mildly venomous, but not enough to harm humans. I love snakes, and I would be overjoyed if someone brought a snake to an event like this, but people need to realize that fear of snakes is rather common, and it is not a good idea to bring a snake without getting everyone's consent first. It sounds like this DM loves snakes way too much, and not in a good way. I don't even want to think about what he does with them in the privacy of his home. This DM is definitely a person to avoid, and he should not be allowed around animals either. Maybe one day, he will end up in prison for acts too horrific to describe here.

[@madelineu7971]

There are a few species of poisonous snakes too. I think a species of ring neck is both poisonous and venomous.

[@g40oz]

For third story, they're taking advantage of you. Just leave and don't bother if the DM try to convince you to stay.

[@joshuawiener5003]

That group strikes me as the types to call you a big baby when you don't want to endure a bad experience. You know... Avoiding stress and pain. A normal human reaction.

[@KOBULT92]

For the leg amputee story- your path is simple. "Hey DM, I'm bored with playing the father/son cronenburg freak. Give me a a way to fix it next session or I'm out for this campaign"

[@AyoxinBlake]

For real. People are way too damn soft and don't stand up for themselves.

[@Daman3tm]

One of my favorite characters I ever played was a Barbarian who was a huge coward and avoided all conflict until he gets cornered and has no choice but to rage and fight his way out.

[@alphons1456o]

Story 1: I would have had nothing else to say except "I'm not playing in your game anymore" and "I hope Timmy bites your eggs and makes one pop" Story 2: "Fighters being chivalrous isn't 'historically accurate'!" Buddy, we're in a land with elves, dwarves, dragons, giants, and that 2002 Honda Accord with 0% APR and no money down. History don't mean shit. Also, there's nothing wrong with playing a character that goes against the grain of what a class is. Be a chivalrous rogue, or a cold and cunning barb. Story 3: Everything feels a bit like bullying from the DM. From suddenly bringing in a strong BBEG that only the bard can injure in order to have the BBEG "punish" him, to the jokes at his expense, to the idea that the DM would do retcons to guilt-trip OP back into the game. I know it probably seems a lot worse because this may have been over the course of sessions while we're seeing it all laid out in one swoop, but it all adds up, and honestly, I don't know if anyone in this group is on OP's side at all. Story 4: DM introduces a new "AMOGUS" mechanic, which leads to power imbalances, then ignores criticism that it may be bad? Yeah, just leave. Story 5: Just because your players figure out the plot twist doesn't mean you're a bad storyteller (mostly; if you can't leave clues subtly enough, then that's a problem). And trying to change to a new plot twist to subvert expectations is shit writing practices

[@shipper-of-heart8898]

Always makes me laugh when people try to take a medieval setting and go 'HISTORIC ACCURACY' (mainly when women/POCs are involved it feels like-at least in other media) while a dragon flies by and there's a magical duel between a giant rock golem and a gang of wizard elves, tabaxi rogues, and orc barbarians

[@Drums_of_Liberation]

​@@shipper-of-heart8898even more hilarious is when the screaming historical accuracy is a weeb who is playing a samurai like how they're portrayed in fiction and not like how they were in reality.

[@alphons1456o]

@@Drums_of_Liberation Right? Weebs like to say that the bushido was the samurai code of conduct, when in reality, it was just an excuse they would make up

[@AmaryInkawult]

​@@shipper-of-heart8898I mean, you tell me how a beholder and a flump impacted the black plague

[@AmaryInkawult]

​@@Drums_of_Liberationit's even funnier that during the samurai period, there were cowboys, pirates, and a French revolution in progress. So it would be historically accurate to have an adventuring party of a cowboy, a pirate captain, a French revolutionary, and a samurai.

[@jacent.4982]

That obsession with snakes in the forst story was fucking terrifying. Including interests are a good thing(our DM occasionally brings in dinosaurs since most of us have studied or were hyperfixated on them at some point), but what the DM did crossed so many lines.

[@alicemilton8756]

Thirty years ago if you said the internet would be used for an anthropomorphic dog and his pet cats to share D&D war stories we would have agreed that it’s the best possible use of the information super highway

[@yomin2162]

I'll take story-sharing anthropomorphic dog over a DM with snake fetish any day.

[@zakuraRabbit]

Snakes can be pretty chill pets... But for they're not the type of pet you should bring over to your friends' house without warning (actually don't bring any pet over without warning, allergies are a thing you know)... or at all really.. I have a pet reptile (though gecko, not a snake) and I don't bring him places, cuz it would just stress him out... (the host for our DnD game also has cats so... not a great match) But sitting there with a snake on your lap, describing snake sex... I uh... that guy should not have snakes...

[@BlueTressym]

Snake: Nope, nope, nope, and this is from someone who likes snakes. Fighter: "Historically inaccurate." *sigh* This again. It's not often I see someone complaining about someone not being murderhobo-ish enough. If anything, it seems reasonable for a skilled warrior to be less pointlessly aggressive then some others might be, given the likelihood of them having been involved in actual conflicts and potentially having witnessed or even experienced the consequences of needless violence. Cronenberg: OP, if people were ruining your mood by carrying on with 'jokes' that made you uncomfortable, you are not the one ruining the mood if you call them out on their bs. There's no good reason why everyone else should get to have fun when it's at your direct expense. GM royally screwed over OP here. As for the guilt trip, if they're the kinds of people to do that, you have nothing of value to lose by quitting. Doge is right that it's worth trying to talk it over but given what happened last time, I'm not optimistic. Traitor: WTF? OP is certainly not overreacting, especially given that the GM seems to have decided to do this without any consultation and regardless of how everyone feels about it. Not to mention how nonsensical the premise is; if the PC in question has done nothing traitorous, or even considered doing so, how TF are they a traitor? Yeah, this is just straight-up bad. Story Cange: Yup, called it. No idea why the GM thought his 'story' would be improved by using OOC knowledge to intentionally screw everyone over. Why punish people for being clever? Then, you get the gratuitous insults. I'm glad OP left.

[@aikotitilai3820]

Poor snake in the first story

[@siobhanroberts2329]

I hope someone called the animal sanctuary to let them know this guy might be abusing the snakes. Normally I just roll my eyes at people who think they have a god given right to be horny on main all the time, but in cases with actal live animals and children involved, someone needs to do something other than posting on reddit about it.

[@JoeyDieselComedy]

Story 1: As soon as they saw the weird facial expression on D.M's face...they should've ended it right then and there. It would have saved their love to play D&D.

[@silaswhitener3742]

Technically, he is right. The snake is not poisonous. However, it is venomous. 😆

[@Remoniq]

Story 1: That went beyond what I expected....

[@gimok2k5]

Your bribery with cats will not get me to comment, like and subscribe. Mostly because I already subscribed ages ago. :P

[@shadiafifi54]

I dunno, they always get likes from me.

[@LEGIOXIII13]

I won't like one of these till i see a cat.

[@reddinareddika3624]

If what the DM in story 2 said is true, he probably made up an excuse to let him leave the table because people complained about something. It's just too weird.

[@seeker4924]

Imagine going to grad school, working at an animal sanctuary, AND having a specific interest in reptiles, and STILL not know that poisonous and venomous are not the same thing. Like that's gotta be super embarrassing

[@IGN_OFFClAL]

Couples at the table can be so annoying. Your partner does not get special treatment. ... ... regardless of how warm or cool thier blood is.

[@Acornsgo]

Don't say couple in this situation please

[@SpenceSession]

Story 3: Remember, OP is a Bard, a social class. And the GM just said 'nah, everyone is grossed out by you now' on top of taking control of him randomly. If what OP says is accurate, it feels like it was targeted. Who knows why, but it does seem that way. Maybe the GM was mad about him mentioning a prosthetic leg?

[@ArcCaravan]

Only way I can think of DM having a reason is just wanting nightmare stuff, maybe even planning to add more to other party members.

[@Pixelkvist]

0:28 Awww, that was a really cute cat!!! 🥹 Liked and subscribed!

[@bandwagonbuzzard1617]

Story 2 is giving me serious "one side of the story" vibes. The lack of detail, description of OPs playing style, and unexplained 180 on DMs response to nonstandard PC personalities just don't add up.

[@andrewbyrne2173]

Yeah, I think OP may have caused that 180. However we’ll never know.

[@Theokal3]

..... Wow. I am myself a *huge* fan of reptiles and snakes especially, and even *I* think the guy from the first story is going too far with this. At first I thought he was just making too much of an overfixation on it and not varying his stuff (I do tend to do a lot of reptilian-themed characters or powers in my games too, but even I try to vary it a bit with other animals there and there, otherwise it gets monotonous), and even bringing the actual snake at the game while... certainly unusual initially seemed just like a weird but harmless quirk as long as he respected the other players not wanting it close (well... except for the snake being poisonous, wtf?!). But the fetish thing and SA scene are where I draw the line. This is just as creepy as when furries do it with wolves or cats.

[@PhiSigma42]

Story 2: Why do people care about historical accuracy in DnD? It's a fantasy setting and not real life. The DnD fighter class didn't exist in real life, so you can't go off history for how they should act anyway.

[@starofjustice1]

Pretty funny, innit? Goblins and mages are historically accurate, right? Dragons and kobolds are historically accurate, right??

[@sethtruesdale1848]

With the Cronenburg story something one of my previous DMs drilled into me hard was that players get attached to their characters looks , and one of the fastest ways to piss them off is to force a change of appearance on their character without warning or permission. Especially for something that extreme I don't blame the player for wanting to nope out of that with their character becoming a horrifying monster with seemingly no way to resist or cure this condition after the fact.

[@dinodemi7562]

If a snake owner tells me their VENOMOUS snake "isn't that poisonous" I'm getting tf out of there because I am NOT safe

[@Derginator]

Leveling up players at different levels is horrific DMing

[@arnoldschpeiker7887]

The creepy thing to me is he keeps talking to the snake so affectionately. Snakes have no external ears and are devoid of emotion. Any ‘bond’ most reptiles have with humans is closer to tolerance for the heat-generating food-giver.

[@seto_kaiba_]

Devoid of emotion is definitely not true. Although I highly doubt it’ll form a sexual bond with a human. Some animals will (mostly birds or dogs) 🤢 🤮.

[@justinmargerum2559]

Story 2: What?! It's not "historically inaccurate" for a martial character to avoid unnecessarily escalating conflict, it's exactly what the wiser soldiers across most cultures actually learned to do--or at least the ones who became leaders and lived to write books on the subject. Also, it's FANTASY dammit! There's no point in even playing D&D if the DM has zero imagination! OP had a great idea I wish more players would explore: challenging player class tropes while making sure they still share the spotlight and otherwise fit in well with a group. Barbarians don't have to be big dumb brutes with hair trigger tempers, bards don't have to be perpetually horny, rogues don't have to be loner edgelords, etc. It would be one thing if the character was proactively annoying or was a constant thorn in the party's side but this was just stupid.

[@nnickplays9713]

For the fusion bard, I completely disagree about talking to the DM about it. Just wipe away the PC. He's not that important, and he's only half OP's PC anymore. Sometimes you just gotta know when to fold them. Just say "I don't wanna play as him anymore." and just tell him I'm gonna make a new PC. "I'm not having fun with him anymore." Or just leave the group.

[@cyberspinosaur1145]

*hides my 16 snakes*

[@timothyswanson8773]

Kitty high as a kite is a wonderful pallet cleanser.

[@fred_derf]

To the OP of the second story, your DM (and potentially the other players) are in the wrong for gate keeping you. You weren't playing your fighter wrong.

[@amarvelousgeek222]

Based on the way he was handling the snake, I'm guessing if it was venomous (not poisonous) it was likely a very mild, rear-fanged venom that's harmless to humans. Many common pet snake species have a very mild venom that causes a mild irritation to humans, just some itching and a tiny bit of localized swelling, like a mild mosquito bite. Hognose snakes are a good example- very common pets, but with a very mild venomous bite.

[@black69071]

"It was I Rogue.. you would've never figured out my true identity. Johnson Smith!"

[@Blackscar2]

For the cronenberg story, definitely explain that you are no longer enjoying playing your character, but If reconing isn't a choice, just simply make a new character, feel free to explain the character is "no longer around" and you're now playing a new character, but hopefully your dm can just come up with a way to separate your character, and healing them.

[@ArcCaravan]

Making a new character sounds best here because it was said this was the finale of his story.

[@shanegibbens]

Actually knew a girl in college (2004) who was like the guy, she had a boa and got off on it being on her naked body....the dorm found this out onmy after cops where called and she was dragged out in a towel screaming after her snake

[@shanegibbens]

Her roommates where the ones that called the cops after noises of distress heard from the room....

[@seto_kaiba_]

🧢

[@vortega472]

First story - ewwwww! Thank Yoda for kitty palate cleansers - but remember little buddy, never get high on your own supply.

[@Jean-Luc_Renard]

There's no such thing as a poisonous snake. Some snakes are *venomous*, but none are poisonous. Here's how it works: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous. A professional snake handler should know this. I personally met a professional snake handler on a field trip, and she corrected one of my classmates who referred to "poisonous snakes." This guy should have never been allowed to handle snakes in the first place. Story two: I will never understand the people who insist on "historical accuracy" or "realism" in a game with magic and/or superpowers and/or aliens and/or supernatural phenomena and/or monsters and/or any other elements particular to speculative fiction. Missing the point is a monumental understatement.

[@Denkono]

More players and DMs need these stories published with video and/or audio tapes for our collective enjoyment of witnessing train-wreck-like drama

[@shipper-of-heart8898]

Story 1- Someone needs to report the dude to the animal sanctuary just to be sure he doesn't work with snakes since who knows what he'd try when nobody is looking (unfortunately if he gets a pet snake im not sure what could be done about that) Story 2- i doubt anybody in the party was complaining about OP's character, i think it was just DM being salty. Also how do people keep arguing 'historic inacuracies' in a game called dungeons and DRAGONS, a game where magic is legit, beings like orcs and tabaxi exists, and somebody can die because they stubbed their toe too hard Story 3- that seems a bit tricky-I feel like the DM should've warned OP about it, and it does sound like a terrible time to try and play that. Maybe try and ask DM if there's a way to undo this or if in the next town there can be a temple where it can be undone. But it may be best to leave that game.But I can't help but feel this was intentional/railroaded since DM said OP would probably get disfigured, but agreed on a prosthetic, and then a stronger villain just happened to appear and only OP could damage them Story 4- yeah that sounds pretty bogus to suddenly pull an Among Us and go 'oh yeah there's someone trying to sabotage you,they go up 2 levels : )' and then proceed like normal Story 5- ngl, i was getting very confused throughout about how it was a changed story. I mean pretty scummy to randomly kill off the fighter and then say 'ok, you cant come back : )' unless it just meant the character and not the player since the player should at least be allowed to see the rest of the campaign (also the whole 'victim's blood' was weird like- fighter related to the dead best friend? was it their blood that was specifically needed?). Seemed like the DM was weirdly simping over the Rouge and not explaining how the random character was able to do all that stuff like avoid the traps and mind read

[@BlueTressym]

By 'Changed Story', they mean that OP's guess was right and GM didn't like that they'd guessed right so changed the ending to one that didn't make sense (because it was pulled out of their backside) and used the OOC knowledge of what the PCs had planned to make those plans fail. Some GMs take issue with PCs guessing the answer to a mystery correctly, which feels odd when that's the point of a mystery plot. It just seems to bring out a weirdly adversarial streak in GMs, even ones who are usually more collaborative.

[@thewolfstu]

9:25 valid. Historical accuracy *Really* doesn't matter in a *Magical universe that share no history with our own.* XD

[@justinmargerum2559]

Intro: For the Kitties!!! Story 1: It's one thing to get all Steve Irwin with snakes; I'm cool with that. But weird r*pey snake fetishes and forcing that stuff on players? Absolutely NOT okay. Can't blame OP for being repulsed with D&D by association; I'd have a hard time watching reruns of Steve Irwin raving about snakes for a while after that. Nice kitty save!

[@informitas0117]

I have had the players figure out who the villain is, and you know what I did? I down played their suspension and changed nothing. They followed the clues and figured it out, they deserve to feel smart after that! It was *still* a great reveal at the end and very emotional when the villain realized he was doing bad things and sacrificed himself so the players could flee the evil he made, but that's another story. Point is, don't knee-jerk a whole other ending, especially after a long campaign (The videoone was just 11 sessions but mine was 2 years).

[@eddy_malouempereur_du_cong6536]

I hope the snakes are ok

[@starbird3939]

Cronenberg So OP’s dad died anyway, got cronenberges with OP, and OP is now a freak show who also has to deal with jokes off table. I think this a table who likes to bully OP and i hope OP realizes it and leaves

[@draconicfeline6177]

Yeah.... I think that bullying is the right take here.

[@theofficerfactory2625]

Intro: Hello Lucky. Or Nipsy. Or the 3rd one the I keep forgetting their name. Sorry. Story 1: Oh boy, this is gonna be spicy. DM probably has autism with his hyper-fixation on snakes. Uh... (Mashes Emergency Eject Button) Nope, I'm wrong. I personally find reptile people to be off and that... whoa! DM license incinerated! Story 2: Oh god. "Muh realism" strikes again. DM license rejected. Story 3: That title, ooooh boy! At the least, OP and DM could talk it out. Story 4: Uh, ok. That title. Da heck, DM. What was the point? Story 5: Okay, that title. DM license revoked.

[@kainslegacy78618]

That was Nipsy in both case.

[@Xylarxcode]

The thing about writing a mystery/secret into your campaign as a DM is that it's very risky and can often lead to the situation of players figuring it out before you're ready to reveal it. After all, you are but one person as a DM and your players are a group of however many people. You've got 3-5 brains working together against your one. Sure, you have the benefit of all the behind the screens knowledge, but they have the benefit of outnumbering you and thinking in ways you might not. Anyway, when that happens, you're might feel kind of stuck, but it's best if you don't think about it as a defeat. You can continue the story as you originally intended it, but there's a chance the players will be less invested now that they've figured out the big secret and when you finally do get around to 'revealing' it, none of them will be surprised anymore, which is a rotten feeling. Or you can rewrite the mystery/secret and put a new twist in it, but if you do that, then there's a chance it won't make much sense with the rest of your set up anymore (if you've done a good job tying everything together, at least) and will leave your players confused or even angry because your new 'twist' will feel like it came out of nowhere, since you didn't make any set up for it and any good secret/mystery needs a little build up. In my experience, it's best to just continue the story as you originally planned and try to be happy for your group that they're paying attention to your campaign and are invested enough to try and figure out the secret. Make the mystery/secret less of a campaign priority (maybe even have an NPC say something like: 'I'm sure by now you've figured out that X equals Y'), so that the players know that the relevance of this mystery is of less importance now and you're ready to move on to the next thing. Just make sure to still reward them properly for their actions, notetaking and congratulate them for figuring it out before you were ready to reveal it. Put your ego aside and just be glad you have players that are invested in your story and move on.

[@OverstuffedDragon]

The halfling turned into a cronenberg horror show does have an rp possibility of changing the character's bard act. Circus freak definitely has opportunities in the context of a traveling carnival, and the ravenloft book has a section on a shadow realm side of a carnival that can get the party out of Barovia...

[@quizzlie]

The DM in the second story didn't want characters. He wanted skills and abilities in humanoid form.

[@justinmargerum2559]

Story 3: It's not at all unreasonable to not want to be forced to play a mangled character with significant mechanical nerfs and debuffs that include the periodic chance of losing all player agency. It's a rare player indeed who would be happy to play under those circumstances. It would be fair to ask if the DM genuinely thinks that's something that would motivate a player to keep playing. Having the villain graft the leg of OPs father on to his character (correctly) to replace the lost one in a mock show of pity could be interesting; it's narratively profound and motivating without being mechanically crippling or altering the player's agency. Reducing his character to an abomination who can't even reliably maintain control of what diminished abilities he has left just sucks.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Snake Obsession Story. WTF did I just listen to?! No way I would put a poisonous/ vemonous (I don't care which is correct at this moment) near my happy place.

[@lev9032]

someone save that poor snake

[@MortusVanDerHell]

Story 2: The guy may be a history major, but as someone who has studied history himself (specialising in ancient and medieval history with a particular focus on military history up to the Napoleonic era), I would disagree that fighters must always and everywhere be martial and aggressively looking for fights. In fact, warriors are actually much less interested in letting a fight really break out than anyone else involved in the conflict, because they are the ones who know that - as soon as the hostilities become physical - they will be among the first to die. Nobody wants to die and the idiots that are always portrayed in the films (the ones who run in head on and then lash out wildly - which in itself is simply historically wrong) are the few psychopaths that the commander could find who don't mind 1. killing other people (which is not a given - in fact, formations are always structured so that those who are inexperienced and therefore most likely to have scruples are in the front line so that they have to fight) and 2. don't care about their own survival. Therefore: the DM here is talking bullshit. OP's fighter is quite historically accurate. ...and now that that's cleared up, let's talk about "historical accuracy" in a world with magic and gods...

[@AvatAR42420]

Story 1: Call the ASPCA! Turning D&D into a surprise fetish game is bad enough. Doing weird stuff with a snake at the table is criminal. Story 2: "Historical accuracy" is an excuse that does not hold water for several reasons. One, people have different personalities and just because you are trained for melee combat, it does not mean you are always down to bust some heads. Two, fantasy is not reality. Your D&D session MIGHT be based on a real historical setting, but magic and monsters and most things that are staples of the D&D world never existed in ours. Most settings just do the generic vaguely European mishmash and call it a day. Three, even if it was a real world setting, player enjoyment comes before setting minutiae within reason. A level headed, combat adverse man who knows how to fight is not that out there. It is not like he is asking to pilot a Gundam or something. I think this was some other issue that the DM is obfuscating with the player or the character. Much like claiming other players have problems with them, then revealing it is only them. This sort of passive aggressive BS really ruins groups.

[@cobaltcouatl1476]

Me. The DM who likes snakes. Also me. The DM who may or may not have made all of their yuan-ti based on various snakes I researched for fun. Me. Nitpicking. No this guy didn’t have a poisonous snake. If it was colorful, and it was venomous which it was. It was probably a hog nose morph. The snakes that are poisonous are quite hard even for experience reptile keepers to own because of their diets. But oh my gosh! When that dude put the snake in his lap? Right DM. I walk into the Ophidian orgy and start reenacting the holy Thursday massacre. Thank you and good night. Don’t give us herpetology lovers of bad name.

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

While personally I’d have enjoyed the first campaign to some degree (not the fetish stuff but I do love snakes) I’d have drawn the line at a poisonous animal at a table of people who don’t know how to handle one. And that’s not even mentioning the fetish and SA stuff because the fact that that’s quite obviously beyond not right quite obviously goes without saying. I honestly shudder to think about what DM would be doing with that real snake in his private time. Someone call someone on that guy and tell the animal sanctuary.

[@Theokal3]

Same. At first I just thought people were overreacting at him bringing the snake, but then the "he's not that poisonous" part got me pause. And I love snakes too, but seriously...

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

@@Theokal3 yeah, like I said I for one would never randomly have a poisonous snake around people that don’t know how to handle being around one.

[@shipper-of-heart8898]

Also the whole 'putting the snake in his lap' was very uncomfortable when you could tell DM was probably getting off to the snake people SA scene and telling the snake in his lap 'dont move'

[@skullton3292]

For the first story, I'll admit that I like fantasy Snake Girls as much as the next guy but holy shit that guy is fucking sick. That poor snake.

[@casualsleepingdragon8501]

I'm concerned for his snake Like, if this is what he does in company, what does he do wiþ that snake in private

[@RobsRandomRoms]

Toe beans always get the thumbs up from me ^....^ Thank you Doge for all your wonderful content

[@shadiafifi54]

Kitties ALWAYS get likes.

[@chancesmith2788]

In story one I would just tell the dm that my character lost the will to fight and that the dads back then just make a new character

[@samuelsalvatore4511]

from 0:58 to 3:13 the story sounded like op just had a phobia of snakes and that was it, dm didn't seem that weird in the slightest lol (except for the lords trying to f*ck the party) but then we reached the second half of the story, which was probably the only part that actually gave away the dm's weird fetish for snakes

[@GarkKahn]

5:53 I would say it was GAME OVER for them

[@sherylcascadden4988]

So.... All fighters HAVE to be murder hobos? How stupid.

[@thewolfstu]

4:00 to quote a wise philosopher: Bro, wtf?

[@DarthX4]

story 1: having a snake obsession and having yuan-ti stuff in dnd, sure why not (them noodles be adorable). Pure-blood who have high charisma being lewdly portrayed, you are on tin ice. making everything fetishy, you get bonked with the no horny bat. adding goblinating, outside of limiting it to a game where it's only implied and people were warned beforehand, you deserve to be on a watch list. As for having your pet snek around, if it was your own pet in you terrarium that players are already aware of that would be the same as having your cat or dog around, an unknown snake that you pretend to be venomous is a whole other thing. goblinating the pcs; not just the no horny, you get the bat. story 2: not being an asshole not accurate...what the actual frell, is the dm english and only fed propaganda... figthing only in defense was the very teaching of the Church and many people actually followed that teaching and were praised for it. dm is a failure (and do not understand alignement because this is normal LG behavior). story 3: the fusion could have been an interesting concept storywise, but 1 there should have been a way for the player to nope out 2 the player should have had a fairy control mechanic that include him controling the father 3 there should have been some advantages namely that he can't be flanked 4 be presented with an option to end this. op ahould present these points and say that it is unfair that his character can just be taken away for no reason and now fully sucks so unless there is an agreement to remedy this he has no reason to stay since he can't play anyway. story 4: dnd forces pvp and bs, op should talk to the others about giving dm an ultimatum: retcon the dumbassery or they all leave. story 5: i kind of expect that "dm" to be a paid one, this is on par with hollywood and isekai in term of writing not to forget being such an asshole to figther and rogue.

[@laazkoh8099]

Playing a "Chivalric" fighter is too much of a boy scout ? Ok... DnD, Xanathar's Guide of Everything, page 30 Fighter subclass: Cavalier "The archetypal Cavalier excels at mounted combat. Usually born among the nobility and raised at court, a Cavalier is equally at home leading a cavalry charge or exchanging repartee at a state dinner. Cavaliers also learn how to guard those in their charge from harm, often serving as the protectors of their superiors and of the weak. Compelled to right wrongs or earn prestige, many of these fighters leave their lives of comfort to embark on glorious adventure."

[@masked_memory2280]

Story 3: Okay- I got my character similarly disfigured, but like- the DM made it incredibly clear that I would have that happen, and it was a consequence of my own actions- not forced- what is wrong with some people?

[@Ra1neeee]

i appreciate the cat

[@Candymanic]

Was that Nipsy literally covered in catnip? :3

[@TheFuriousScribbles]

I guess the "historical accuracy" complaint isn't about some weird excuse for the NPCs to behave horribly. So... small silver lining, I guess?

[@TheDuelManiacs]

I for one would be very happy about a pet snake at the game table, i love snakes. That said, DM was a huge creep and shouldn't be allowed near animals. 😊

[@runicspyder]

I hope they reported the guy in the first story. Those poor danger noodles he have sound as if they are being sexually abused.

[@7thsealord888]

Story #1 - Liking snakes is fine, but, yeah, this was on a whole new level. Which could still have been okay - *IF* the DM simply recognized that others did not share his ..... er, enthusiasms. Honestly, I think the Players were much too polite about this, and should have walked the moment the SA came up. Story #2 - Nothing wrong with the Character concept. Not all Fighters are bloodthirsty meatheads. Just like not all Rogues steal anything not nailed down, not all Bards are sex maniacs, and not all Clerics are annoying Holy Book thumpers. Classes each have their own abilities, but how a Player chooses to make use of such is entirely their choice. I'd add, anyone expecting "historical accuracy" in D&D clearly doesn't know squat about actual history. There is very very little in D&D that even slightly qualifies as historically accurate - quite aside from little things like magic and monsters. Moronic group, put nicely. Story #3 - Seriously messed up. Yeah, I fully sympathize with OP here. Doesn't matter what the group thinks, this just isn't fun and there is no point in staying under those circumstances. If OP is THAT concerned about them believing he is forcing another retcon, refuse that option and simply walk. Story #4 - This sounds like something the DM pulled out of his @$$ and inflicted on the Party, because he thought it'd be cool or something. Not what I consider a healthy environment for game-play, that'd only encourage PvP, general back-biting and disunity in the Party. Serious talk with DM called for. Walking a definite possibility.

[@dracone4370]

What do you think a party of Doge and his cats could look like? Please include subclasses and the levels you think they would all be at.

[@shipper-of-heart8898]

The games were at DM's house,so he brought the snake into his own home

[@Martin_Dimirag]

Traitor Game story updates " Update: I sent my DM this thread, he said he "didn't agree with any reddit DnD nerds" and "the levels thing only matters if you're just salty you aren't the highest level, it's not that big of a difference honestly" and that "it's your fault you couldn't convince everyone to believe you, sounds like a skill issue" And then when I told him it's not something I'd really wanna be a part of, he said we should all vote on it as a group. The group we are playing with has 2 people he's known for 6+ years that I just met, so that's just a kinda awkward situation I'd rather not be a part of. I told him this and that I'd be down for next session probably if this wasn't gonna be an issue next game and he hung up on me. The DM is a good friend of mine, but he seems very upset Im not willing to just stick it out even though he knows I agree with none of what happened and have mentioned to him in the past that I do not like playing a campaign where people are different levels, and i feel like he did it again this session just to spite me and got mad when i didnt go along with it. He literally just sees it as me whining and bitching, so I'd rather just not be a part of it. He may have even been able to convince me to stay but he literally hung up on me when I mentioned I might not be playing anymore lol. If you're reading this, love you Matt, just make better rules that everyone agrees with next time. 2 Update: he changed the rule and said he would like me to come play again, thanks guys lol "

[@Mikami_The_Bard]

Cronenberg story - Well... With a SPOILER knowledge of the CoS I can say it was gross what happened to his character B U T I think DM wants to put his story into Deva story? When I hear what happened here, maybe it's a motivation to help the mutated one in the city and also find a cure.... Maybe

[@hatientacetlen4246]

There'sss sssomething sssusss about the firssst DM.

[@AtelierGod]

If I’m understanding it correctly that guy either the poisonous snake brought it to someone else’s home? I’d call the police.

[@ArcCaravan]

I'm pretty sure it was the DM who hosted the games at his place.

[@mistermoneyman300]

I just liked for the cat

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Fighter Story. It sounds to me that DM was a one trick pony type. Historically the Chivalric Code was started around 1200 and developed from there. And a Chivalric Knight is definitely a Fighter with some window dressing.

[@g40oz]

Last story, classic DM vs Player scenario... 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@ChaosCounseling]

I understand having issues with characters who refuse to fight because there too much of a Boy Scout but op said there still willing to fight just not start one

[@RatMan34]

For Cronenberg, is there no way to reverse the damage and fit what happened to the character? I dont play dnd so I'm just wondering.

[@kainslegacy78618]

That 3rd story though. “They would accuse you of guilt tripping them to get your way”, isn’t that exactly what “they” would be doing were they to declare that. Excuse me, buddy, but what you’re describing is textbook gaslighting and bullying behaviour. Your feelings are valid, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Learn to stand your ground. If anyone dismisses your concerns, you’ll know they can go F themselves.

[@neonshark4716]

The first guy is a “snake expert” but says that snakes are “poisonous” instead of “venomous”. Yeah that’s obviously fake.

[@l0stndamned]

1st: I'm of the belief that pets at the gaming table are a bad idea at the best of times (too much of a distraction), and this is clearly not the best of times. Players should have called the DM out then and there rather than just "loosing interest". 2nd: Something seems of here. I agree that leaving is probably for the best if the DM is acting like this, but suspect there's more to the story. 3rd: The DM sounds like he's railroading this stuff in to be edgy and combative. Leaving without the possibility of compromise is the only way this isn't just going to happen again somewhere down the line. 4th: I'd leave if a DM did something that stupid. The "hidden traitor" thing can work if both the DM and the traitor player are willing to put in some work and the possibility of pvp stuff has been okayed for the whole group, but just dumping it on the group like that sounds like a DM ego-trip at the expense of player agency. 5th: Kinda glad the friend wasn't the problem this time :) . DM clearly cared more about having a gotcha moment than a solid story.

[@YouW00t]

Story 1... Heck

[@ElectBeef]

God dammit Norman

[@doan2300]

... did the cat roll around in rice? cats, eh *facepalm*

[@micometer]

Black cat best cats. :3

[@tenshyklonik]

Why the hell a lot of horror ttrpg story these days have to be with Fear and Hunger things? Man, the disfigured bard is a F*CKING MARRIAGE of that game

[@RubyGalaxyYT]

new music? That's a nice change.