DM Calls DnD Party Transphobic | r/rpghorrorstories

[@igormachado2194]

Counterspelling someone in the party to save hostages is actually a pretty awesome character moment for both of em. If the sorcerer was a good player, he would see this as an opportunity to develop a very interesting storyline with this other player.

[@marioreyes7971]

I'd give inspiration for that!

[@Michaeljack81sk]

Story 1: DM sounds like they spend too long arguing on social media or just likes manipulating their players. The only correct move is to leave in a hurry

[@tell-me-a-story-]

I think he just made it up later to have something to be mad about.

[@paulman34340]

Very likely "Jacks" is meant to be the DM "self" in the game and the moment the other didn't engage in the way he wanted, he took the classic "asshole" route Social Medialites love to take and acted like he had a "gotcha" moment (their SO annoying with that obsession of "Gotcha" thinking they'll get 15 minutes of fame catching a "ism" in the act! But when they can't find one, they'll entrap and make it up if they have to, in order to "look like a Hero" cause they ain't a Hero, their a FOREVER Loser Zero who want to FEEL like a Hero even if for 15 Minutes and at other's expenses! It's why the "Victimhood" mentality runs rampant! And I call them FOREVER Loser Zeroes cause the moment they let that mentality take hold in their brains, their enslaved to it and Sunk Cost mixed with Tunnel Vision become DOMINENT in them! Only a SUPER Rare few EVER break the mold and even RARE MORE they do it quickly before they do SERIOUS damage) and proved them all transphobic! When all he did was reveal HIMSELF to be a Intolerant douchebag who just WANTS to be offended and if he CAN'T find OPPRESSION (something his type will actually NEVER WANT when they DO find it, the point of finding it is to be under the SAFETY of "the oppressors are in the minority" because if they DID find it, they'll find out WHY it was called a BAD THING and HELL ON EARTH for those who ACTUALLY suffered/suffer oppression when they can't say "I quit" and run back to safety!) then he'll make it the hell up! He can also just be an asshole wanting to take advantage of this type of behavior simply for the LULZ (Real life Trolling is NOT a very smart idea as at least being RICH AND CONNECTED and doing it on Social Media means LITTLE will effect you other then bad will towards you! There's a reason OTHERS not so, stay anonymous! Real Life Troll leaves you without even people who TOLERATE you and they KNOW who your are, so you can't slick back into the shadows of anonymous! You have your fun being ass, and then act SHOCKED you lost friends! Stupid is as stupid DOES!

[@Michaeljack81sk]

@@tell-me-a-story- Yeah, that tracks, either way thats one DM to be avoided

[@littlegiantj8761]

Probably projection

[@ArcCaravan]

​@@tell-me-a-story-I'm guessing DM was just mad about the party's name for the NPC and made up the deadname backstory to guilt/manipulate them in revenge.

[@deniseg9210]

Story 1:If Jack hates being called Jacks why didn’t he oh I don’t know ask the PCs to not call him that? Does the DM think it would be unbelievable for someone to correct people on the pronunciation of their name? Does he think people would know immediately what they should be called?

[@reinathefox6600]

Not to be that person but I think Jax would be spelled with an X.

[@deniseg9210]

@ well the op of that story spelled it as Jacks.

[@ArcCaravan]

Almost like the character didn't care until DM retconned the NPC to have the mispronunciation be a deadname.

[@AzureKyle]

Yeah, the DM decided to sit there and let it stew before getting all pissy and passive-aggressive about it, retconning Jacks to be his dead name. He should have politely told them the first time they said it wrong. Also, you're not transphobic for unknowingly using someone's dead name, especially if they don't tell you not to do so. Purposefully misgendering, yes, but not addidentally dead naming.

[@crazyratlady3115]

Also I don't have a deadname, so maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like claiming a new name with literally one letter of difference from your deadname, would defeat the purpose of deading a name in the first place?

[@JKevinCarrier]

"Deadname": It's hard to figure what the DM is hoping to accomplish by gaslighting the party that severely. Leaving is probably the best option, since they're bound to pull similar shenanigans in the future. Personally, I would start calling the pirate every incorrect name I could come up with -- Jerry, Jonah, Jasper, John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith -- just to see how much I could annoy the DM before I left. But that's just me. "Counterspell": If you're going to consider anything that one player does to thwart another as "PVP", then the Sorcerer is just as guilty. "How dare you take away my agency by preventing me from taking away everyone else's agency!" is a pretty weak argument.

[@ArcCaravan]

@@JKevinCarrier "Deadname": I'm guessing the goal was getting an excuse for petty revenge. Just a bad DM victim blaming the party to get away with crimes by calling them "consequences of party's bad behavior".

[@GarkKahn]

Hey! Don't mess with Lil Jacques! He's our friend! Tell them Joachim!

[@AmaryInkawult]

Oath of Conquest isn't just being a ruler, its about being a leader. And to be a good leader, you must listen and engage with others.

[@Green-Raccoon777]

Oath of Conquest is a Paladin who can quote Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" by memory, and apply it to their lives.

[@DaMuss-e2w]

Most rulers even dictators usually have to start somewhere, often taking orders from someone else, Adolf, Stalin, Idi Amin, Gadafi, the list goes on. Even many hereditary rulers don't usually start in the job right away. a relative holds it before them

[@AmaryInkawult]

@@DaMuss-e2w yeah, prior to popular belief, Hitler didn't fall out of the womb with his hand in the air and a hatred for all things Hebrew. He had a life to have before world war two. Also, fun fact. He didn't kickstart the war, that was on the Japanese when they invaded China. He just jumped into the fire when he got pissed at the German war debts from the first world war. He was a late doomer.

[@DaMuss-e2w]

@@AmaryInkawult I am referring to his rise to power, he was a lower ranked soldier and a failed artist before that, even before he became leader of the party he was lower down the pecking order so he had a long time of taking other peoples orders.

[@AmaryInkawult]

@DaMuss-e2w oh yeah, he rose through the ranks with the intent to lead.

[@oneandonlymario659]

Re: the misunderstood NPC Name Don't wait. Leave. Write the DM a letter/note so they know why you're leaving though. If you just dip, they're going to assume their ridiculous accusation was true. Either way, I wouldn't trust that DM to do anything other than put your characters through a social wringer.

[@penguinmaster7]

why i'm leaving: fuck you basically the only way to deal with these people.

[@zackkatian3436]

Don't bother with the note. People like the dm are so hard set in their victim mentality that they'll just see the note as you denying your true phobic nature.

[@madisonshay]

I'm trans and even I think the DM's deadname thing is ridiculous. Players didn't know the NPC's name and when they were told they apologized, pushing that further is just DM trying to manufacture drama

[@zakuraRabbit]

Players mishear NPC names all the time... that's something you just gotta accept as a DM, and don't treat it as a freaking hate crime especially when he never bothered to correct them.

[@Godzillapuffy]

Or just do what I took from my dad. Give players a spelling of the name in chat or on paper. These people show the consequences of not talking to other people for years.

[@zakuraRabbit]

@@Godzillapuffy Yea I've had DMs do that too. They either spell it out or write it in our Discord Chat (All my groups have one even the in-person one because its good for planning and chatting between sessions)

[@ArcCaravan]

Story about Jack Scrimsgaw sounds like DM hated the joke and decided to lie about his mistaken name being a deadname to guilt trip the players while getting petty revenge. A retcon that just makes things look worse than they were.

[@shadenox8164]

Literally just had to correct them once.

[@GarkKahn]

DM even acts as if it was corrected during session 1 But still players joked until 4th

[@CooperAATE]

That's not how Conquest works... or Oathbreaker, for that matter.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Wait... How is Jacks a deadname of Jack!? ITS THE SAME NAME WITH AN ADDITIONAL LETTER!!! IT'S EVEN GENDER NEUTRAL SO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET PISSED OVER A MINOR MISTAKE!?!

[@AmaryInkawult]

Also does this DM also get pissy when people have to spell out "Jack's" when describing objects!? This whole thing is an incredible reach just to fuck with the party.

[@RioDrake]

Maybe they just wanted a reason to openly hate, who knows.

[@octogen1282]

Also, characterizing trans people as reacting this way to being deadnamed, regardless of circumstance, perpetuates a negative stereotype. Quite low from the DM, if true.

[@duskgaming18]

Sounds like the DM would blow a blood vessel in their head if they perceived someone as saying "Zach" instead of "Zack" or vice versa

[@WTFisTingispingis]

​@@octogen1282I know a lotta trans folk who would probably be like "yeah this is an overreaction".

[@randlroosevelt]

His character is chaotic good, of course their character would prioritize saving the villagers. Even if it means having to counter spell an allies spell and pissing them off.

[@AzureKyle]

Exactly. And stopping someone from casting a spell that could kill innocent people is not PVP. If he attacked him after counterspelling, sure, but the act of counterspelling isn't.

[@justinmargerum2559]

Or even just "not evil." Too many players think "neutral" means it's okay to kill multiple innocents if it's convenient, probably because D&D doesn't define its alignment system very well. Pathfinder 2e does a better job and makes it easier for a DM to say, "yeah, that's actually pretty evil; unless you want to commit to that alignment shift, maybe don't drop a fireball where you know it'll cause more innocent casualties than the bad guys will."

[@NotYourEcho]

" *You committed a hate crime in my D&d game* ! " This is someones obsessive real world paranoia manifesting itself in a world of make believe, and at the gaming table.

[@Rogue_kat]

I don't play DnD but the oath of conquest story that doesn't sound like taking orders. Being hired as a mercenary to protect something sounds more like making a deal between two people. You give me money and I do this thing.

[@AvatAR42420]

The DM in the first story is just overreacting and trying to punish the players for a minor mistake with a backstory that was probably made up on the spot. The NPC probably wasn't even trans to begin with, the DM is just pissed they misheard the name. What a psycho. As for the Oath of Conquest story, that DM I think just wanted to do a "gotcha" because just listening to what someone said to do does not contradict the conquest oath at all. That's like saying a king who listens to advisors is not a king. It's adversarial DMing, and even if he thought following another's orders conflicted with the oath, warnings and atonement would come way before becoming an oathbreaker.

[@yakuzajoe]

Didn't sound like an overreaction. More like intentionally forcing drama for the sake of being abusive.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Mana Pool Story. That would be kind of a twist on how Dark Sun did magic. But definitely something that should have been discussed before character creation.

[@adiveler]

That actually could be balance if the amount of mana and mana-regen take into consideration the sum of everyone's intelligent stats!

[@vodostar9134]

I like the "magic causes fatigue" idea. I would make it clear to the the players before character creation though.

[@FailedPoet444]

That's the main mechanic of spellcasting in Shadowrun

[@SmilingMatthew]

Story 1: "Pal, you better tone down this bullshit or I'll start to refer to him AND you as "Jackass"!"

[@Crimzon_Nova]

The guy was asking for it.

[@ArawnNox]

That first story is insane. I'm in the final stages of playing that exact campaign (Skull and Shackles). Scrimshaw is not a trans character (in fact, the first trans character in the early PF modules is in Wrath of the Righteous). The DM made all that up to... what? Guilt trip the players for using a misheard name? I'm just totally baffled by this. Add to it, Scrimshaw isn't even important after the first leg of the adventure.

[@D2and2D]

Was gonna say this! i;ve ran it twice and dont remember that character being trans at all. Wrath of the righteous is where the first one i remember is! aswell as in another supplemental book but i cant remember which one.

[@lemmejustreadthethings]

I came to make a comment about the possibilitiy thart the DM migh thave actually said Jacks Grimshaw in the introduction to the character as his deadname and none of the players picked up that the DM went onto saying his new name is Jack Scrimshaw. But I see this comment and realise this probably never happened lol.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Chess Story. I have heard of players doing other games mid-session, but never a DM. I would have bailed. This really just ticks me off as a DM.

[@adiveler]

Yeah, and usually when players are doing something like that, they aren't doing it in the front of everyone's faces!

[@AtelierGod]

The most I’ve done during a session is use games with character creators to make the character I’m going to play.

[@FateWeaverGM]

Story 1 just sounds like someone wanted an excuse to virtue signal.

[@BlueTressym]

Counterspell: That's what happens when you "It's what my character would do." Sometimes another player character will do the same. You can't have it both ways. Oathbreaker: Yeah, that's bonkers. Also, why do so many people not understand the difference between oathbreaker and Oathbreaker? Breaking one's oath makes you an oathbreaker but you can repent, take a different subclass or even change classes. The Oathbreaker subclass is about turning to the Dark side and embracing evil, not just doing an oopsie.

[@elvacoburg1279]

Story 1 - it would only be transphobia if the players knew that the pirate was transgender (which is not stated as being so) and they knowingly used the pirates dead name despite having been told the new name. Just saying someone's name wrong does not equal transphobia even it they had been told that the pirate was transgender. I hate it when people do things like this, as it reflects badly on actual transgender people. The Paladin/Oathbreaker story - the DM sounds like a number of DM's that I knew back in the late 80's/early 90's who saw it as a challenge to "corrupt" paladins, and by "corrupt" I mean find the smallest thing to insist that the paladin had broken one of their vows, to make matters worse, this was back in 2nd edition AD&D, which meant that such a paladin would be stripped of all their powers, effectively becoming a fighter!!! After a few of these, no one would play paladins and the DM's had the nerve to wonder why!!!

[@Raymond13557]

4:50 Bro didn't make a mountain, he made mount Everest!

[@ShinoharaMiyu]

Trans woman here... sometimes we chose names kind of similar to our deadnames, yeah, but nobody does it like this? Like, yeah lots of trans people will sometimes just take a masculine/feminine version of their given name if they like their birthname while others will chose something completely different. Nobody will say "My name is Jack, my deadname is Jacks with an s though!" and be mad about that? Not every trans person changes their name but what kind of fucking transition name change is that? I'd be honestly annoyed if I saw another trans person throw a fit like that... DM just wanted to virtue signal and be a dick, I think.

[@finnmchugh99]

Yeah it's the equivalent of changing a username by adding a 1 at the end or something. In addition I agree as that's not how dead names work as they can be similar like starting with the same letter or similar syllable sound but then take a different direction. Dana and Dante, Samuel and Samantha or just be more different Dennis and Deborah or Robert and Rebecca. Or like with one of my close friends, they can be completely different names. Joanne and Keith, Morgan and Judith, etc. Essentially babbling aside, having a character with the only difference in name is an S is just something that shouldn't be a big deal and the DM didn't turn that molehill into a mountain, they turned it into Mt. Everest.

[@adiveler]

The last story with the shared mana pool could work, if the amount of mana and mana-regen are determined by the sum of all player's intelligent stats! Which I guess the DM didn't really think through.

[@AzureKyle]

Even then, it should still be something the DM mentions and the party agrees with.

[@AtelierGod]

With a sorcerer, Druid, cleric and wizard their intelligence stats collectively aren’t likely to be very high since half of them are wisdom casters and another a charisma caster.

[@adiveler]

@@AtelierGod Alright, then take from any character the primary stat used for casting.

[@thepanelbiter9915]

13:05 my players try to stop each other all the time from doing something stupid/in-character. I think what matters most is the intention & delivery.

[@AzureKyle]

If being Oath of Conquest meant you couldn't take orders from everyone else, then the subclass wouldn't exist, because a DnD party is always taking orders from someone, that's how quests work.

[@marybdrake1472]

That DM was outrage farming in a big way. There was nothing vaguely transphobic about it. I say the whole table should just get up and leave. Story 2, NTA. The sorcerer using an AOE in that situation was the wrong call, period. Counterspelling the fireball was the thing to do.

[@AzureKyle]

I wouldn't say it was the wrong thing to do, it was very much within his character to do so, just like op was within their character to stop them. It could have been a great RP moment of conflicting ideas between party members, but the player just got pissy.

[@KatarnandKanos]

I've never heard of a trans person changing their name to one that is almost identical to the one that would cause them dysphoria and stress. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the DM doesn't know anything about trans people and is weaponizing their experiences and struggles to get back at his players.

[@fluidwolf]

Honestly feels to me that they just made crap up because they were annoyed the players misheard them and figured claiming the character was trans was an easy way to give themselves the moral high ground in the situation

[@HexisVonSpade]

i have seen this, like from noah to nora, as a friends example first in my mind. some people want to keep their name, or they change it to something else with the same "essence" as their birth name, or they change it completely. but, yeah, the DM was way over-reacting, and if the NPC were a real person, there would have been a quick correction or short calm conversation at the very start. I would agree with you that (a) the DM has no idea what he's talking about, but also, fluidwolf, on (b) messed it up himself and was spending that time trying to figure out how to make him not be the one at fault. (yay for projection) the mental backflips and hoops this dude must have jumped through probably fried the few brain cells he had left lmao

[@GundamAngelicDevil]

Counterspell story: definitely argue your case then also opt to leave the table because clearly "You're the problem /s". They think you're at fault? Tell DM to retcon that bit of the story but they're dealing with the consequences without you nor your character.

[@ShiKageMaru]

Stpry 1 Dm is the person that says "oh, so you hate pancakes!?" If you say you like waffles. That's the exact kind of person I keep shouting about. They make assumptions and judge everyone else based on their own internal mental rules that they just made up.

[@duskgaming18]

The Oathbreaker story was BS. Yes, Conquest is meant to be a leader, but it doesn't say "Do not take orders from others" The Tenets are: Douse the Flames of Hope - Basically don't just defeat your foes, shatter their wills Rule with an Iron Fist - Once you *are* in a position of power, never let any dissent go unpunished Strength Above All - Basically, make sure you are the top dog both metaphorically, and in terms of strength. If someone mightier comes, you either get stronger to meet the challenge or get GG EZ'd

[@alphons1456o]

Copying my comment from the oathbreaker post: Yeah, leaving this game was the best choice. God knows what other choices he'd make arbitrarily. "YOU, DRUID! YOU LOSE YOUR MAGIC!" "Uh...why?" "DRUIDS CAN'T TOUCH METAL! GOLD COINS ARE METAL! ALL YOUR SPELL SLOTS ARE EMPTY!" "YOU, CLERIC! YOUR HOLY SYMBOL BREAKS BECAUSE YOU'RE KILLING PEOPLE!" "I'm...a war cleric? Battle's our thing...?" "Y-YES, BUT YOU NEED TO BATTLE WITH WITS!" "YOU, BARBARIAN, YOU'RE NOT MURDERHOBO-Y ENOUGH! YOUR RAGE ISN'T RAGEY!" "I'm roleplaying a thug who worked for a criminal enterprise. He's not a rager so much as he's--" "I DON'T CARE! IT'S CALLED RAGE, NOT PHILOSOPHY! REROLL A CHARACTER!" "YOU, ROGUE!... Rogue? Everyone...? Where'd everyone go...?"

[@bethanyhutter5433]

The rogue did it right. No notes.

[@DaMuss-e2w]

@@bethanyhutter5433 hope they pickpocket dm as well

[@sailorsloth8183]

Oathbreaker story: Wtf did the DM want OP’s character to do? Just sit on the ground, cross his arms like a petulant child and watch everyone (including himself) get mauled by the gnolls, because the leader of the caravan had the audacity to ask that he do the job he was hired for? Nothing in the tenets of Conquest says you cannot serve under others. You just have to seek power and rule with an iron fist from whatever position you attain. The description of the subclass even mentions some Conquest Paladins go as far as serving under archdevils. Following the orders of the caravan leader could be very justifiable for a Conquest Paladin because a job well done means money, glory and connections, which you will need in your journey to gain power and conquer.

[@finnmchugh99]

Yeah... otherwise it grinds any campaign to a halt. Turning OoConquest Paladins into stereotypical edgy moody teens "Ugh you don't tell me what to do, you're not my Dad!" It's like Sauron, he wasn't always the Lord of Evil...infact he was the no.2, the lackey, the right-hand intern to Morgoth and ehen he was imprisoned in the abyss, Sauron swooped in and gained power.

[@stargateproductions]

I mess up names all the time as a player and DM. People got to chill da fuck out lol

[@SageTigerStar]

on the Counterspell'd Fireball: I actually think that it would make for a pretty epic scene in an anime or video game. Your edgy party member attempts to take the "easy way out" by casting their big F-U spell with little care for the innocent lives it may snuff out...closeup shot of the Sorc's eyes darken as he weighs his option but decides it's the best course...as the fireball begins to form, OP's character takes notice and counterspells - the sparks in the sky fizzle out, eyes locking for a moment with the stunned Sorc as they're both pushed back into the fray to finish off the fight...afterwards an In-character argument ensues that stirs up a bit of distrust with the Sorc from the party over his lack of empathy for the townsfolk...forcing the Sorc to not only question where his loyalties lie, but also some reflection, maybe changing how he approaches situations like this later on, and becoming a more solid team player in the process. Who am I kidding tho, haha, murderhobo gonna murderhobo. :P

[@deepseastonecore3017]

You’re one in a million, my friend. But let’s be real, you’re also a little bit weird. And that’s why I love you. Happy Birthday!

[@megatronjenkins2473]

Dude, my birthday ain't til March, but I appreciate it!!!

[@ThatMakoGuy]

We had two games going. a main game (which has been running for 2 years) and a side game. The side game was to give the main DM a break and let him be a player. During the second session of the side game, the main dm disappeared. As in, We never saw him at the table again. We all tried independently and together as a group to get him to come back. He left because "we showed more interest in the side game over the main game." We started the side game because he asked for a break and wanted to be a player.

[@megatronjenkins2473]

If a certain monster started a business ferrying travelers to their destination for coin, it could be called gelatinous cUBER. You're welcome.

[@finnmchugh99]

Or if a lich made a spectral coin currency for the undead he'd call it Crypt-o Currency XD

[@xlodvig]

Oathbraker story: I can so much relate to that. You see, I always played ChN characters mainly because this alignment comes with freedom of doing various stuff without being called on that. One time I wanted to do something new, so when I got invited to a game, I rolled up lawful good priest. I really was excited to play and try to make my character be a beacon of light for those who are in need. So we start session in a tavern and encounter a couple on the run from local landlord. They say, that said landlord wanted to take the girl for himself so they ran. A couple of hours later to the tavern came search party. They asked if we've seen a fugitives. Party members straight up denied, and I avoid this question (don't even roll bluff check). When we decide to chase search party in order to interfere with their pursuit DM goes "ok priest, you do not sense your god anymore, you've lost your spells and also change your alignment to neutral". "Wait. What. Why?" I reply. "You've lied and broke the local law so you're not lawful anymore". "But they want to kill seemingly innocent people" I try to defend myself. "That doesn't matter, now you are not a priest anymore" was the reply. That game didn't go anywhere and that was my first and last attempt to play Lawful Good character.

[@marcusreading3783]

I do like the idea of using a different system from spell slots, espesually if they can regenerate more than slots, because it always feels a bit restrictive and silly, but a party wide pool seems more than a little silly. Espesually if its at the DMs discression.

[@RagnarokAvatar]

Last story: OP dodged a huge bullet!

[@deathmetalparrot172]

Story 1: At 2:24 OP says "according to this new backstory" which implies DM changed it on purpose. It's one thing to tweak NPC backstories for the sake of the plot or flesh out the character more, but it seems like DM is angry about something in real life and it's bleeding into the game. Also if calling the character "Jacks" was considered a hate crime in this game, you'd think DM would have mentioned it from the beginning. Personally I would talk to the other players and probably leave the game but call DM out on the bullshit

[@mastersouth531]

For the first story... I have this NPC, a gnome bookkeeper, called Matilda, Sometimes I'd get it wrong and say Mildred, even the notetaker would confuse the name, sooooo NOW SHE'S BOTH!

[@TigerKirby215]

Regarding the Fireball story: Should you counterspell the party's spells? Probably not. Should you actively kill innocent people the party are trying to save, even when they ask you not to? Also no. Sorcerer used a spell, Warlock used a spell that costed a lot more for them then the Sorcerer (less spell slots.) I think this is a good roleplay moment, but also a moment the Sorcerer should recognize isn't good for the party.

[@kevinsullivan3448]

In story one it sounds like the DM really is a Dumbgeon Monster trying to be hip and cool, or he is mentally ill. Story two, the OP made a good choice to bail. Story three, any good spell caster should have counterspelled the fireball as murdering the hostages because it is more convenient that just killing the bad guys is an evil act. Story four, bad DM is bad, no cookie. Story 5, the DM should have explained how the spell pool worked in session zero (which is what session zero is for) so that the players could choose how many and what kind of casters the party has. Transparency of home brew rules is important in any game. Only a bad DM (again, no cookie) has to hide mechanics that are not RAW.

[@samuelsalvatore4511]

the problem with the counterspell story is that the op didn't seem to bother to explain his reasoning BEFORE casting counterspell, it sounds like the argument started only after the fight, but in my opinion op shouldn't have waited so long, they should've said "hey, my character is completely against this action, if the player really wants to cast fireball there, it only makes sense that i would cast counterspell it", whether that was a bad action or not is debatable, but this just seems like the most basic role-play.

[@NereidAlbel]

Counterspelling "fail the quest" is absolutely reasonable, especially if the PC is any form of "Good" aligned.

[@Bigryguy95-epic]

Conquest: I don’t think it was because the DM didn’t want an Oath of Conquest Paladin but rather they wanted an Oathbreaker edge lord character in the darker story

[@zerothehero6100]

Irregardless of everything else about the first story, I know some trans people do take names that sound similar to their birth name after coming out, like going from Alex to Alexis, but I feel like you're really setting yourself up for failure if you change your name from Jacks to Jack. The most charitable interpretation of the first story is that the DM immediately got it in their head that the party was deadnaming their character, then just held onto that unfair grudge without ever saying anything until they got to the point they wanted to punish them.

[@nnickplays9713]

I sometimes have trouble with names, I was trying to get their PC's name right... I remember one jerk going "DM I won't listen or do anything unless you get my name right" in a very smug way especially when they know im trying to get it correct.

[@DunantheDefender]

First story actually sounds like some made up bs where someone wants to make a story where "the DM" is being so comically unreasonable about identities and throwing labels around as to be ridiculous.

[@DM_Bluddworth]

I would have conspired with the rest of the players to have our characters kill the NPC “Jacks” and then all quit the DM’s game, and start our own.

[@jaquanepatterson2537]

while the using magic causing exhaustion could work. The DM made several bad decisions regarding it, first off he didn't even inform the players, then from the sounds of the way he implemented it, made it so much more punishing than what spell-casting could ever be worth. The DM made it so its not within the players control to quantify the risk/rewards factor of using spells, he doesn't make a spell usage to exhaustion table or anything, just using his own call outs which is nonsensical and unfair in almost every sense of the word. Good on OP for noping out of that mess, and it's greatly understandable why the players opted out of magic too.

[@riptide3340]

Story 3: As far as the “official” answer goes, OP is fine since the DM ruled it to be ok. If I were OP though, I’d want to have a conversation to see if there’s a deeper reason why some players don’t like it, and have a conversation about expectations. I think a more specific boundary than “no PvP” would help, especially since the group is already jaded from another player doing similar actions.

[@SailorSpiral]

Why.... why would someone even change their name from "jacks" to "jack" like how would he handle someone saying "oh that is jacks hat" etc 😂

[@Kagira2006]

Most likely the DM in the first story is a transphobe themselves and is doing it because "hurrr this is how they actually act about names :D " ontop of being mad about his players getting the name wrong

[@Pyrrha312]

Yup. As a trans woman myself with an actual deadname, the first story seems either a fake psy-op made to laugh at us or the DM making fun of trans folks.

[@Oh_Its_That_Weirdo]

Quite possible, yes. At the very least, he's ready to weaponize faked SJW-ness to make a social dynamics power move. He may not be consciously, actively transphobic; but his action has so throughly bad implications that *if* he does see himself as an LGBT+ ally, he's a fake one and needs to correct his attitude, *hard*.

[@amberg3893]

If counterspell is PVP, then attacking innocents around a good aligned character is pvp.

[@thehowlinggamer5784]

Honestly I'm on op's side in the counter spell one. In my group, there's a player who I refer to as our chaotic gremlin because he's always trying to play up his characters and doesn't seem to care how how much damage is done to other players along as damage is dealt to whatever we are facing at the time. I.e., we were all on gryphon/hipogryph mounts going after a manticore when he let off a thunder wave, sending me nearly flying off my hipogryph and practically crippling my mount. And, just on our last session, he wanted to keep fighting a group that had downed him, and dropped half the other players to below half health. I was so tempted to cast spike growth on him just to get tge point across.

[@crazyratlady3115]

Pro tip for DMs: If you want me to say your NPC's names correctly, don't fucking mumble when you're introducing them. If it's important, enunciate.

[@jeydomo]

Story1: id apologize, hopefully make amends and move on. But seeing the DM try something like revisiting the same drawn out "you did me wrong" instead of initially fixing to avoid it is a them problem, and i now personally will start mocking you on purpose out of spite. If you have something to say, say it, dont try to let things go be passive about it like its not an issue and then try to be this sudden morally superior champion of it and that the group is the heinous villains you paint them and wish them to be. Be realistic. You let it go on to twist it in your favor. Pathetic.

[@Oh_Its_That_Weirdo]

Can't agree to that. Sometimes, apologizing is enabling. I'd refuse to give an apology and calmly tell him that the only one who needs to apologize is him, himself. Most likely, he never actually felt offended, and is just pulling a power move. And even if he was offended, his behavior is unacceptable - it's *his* priblem either way, and I'd refuse to give him an inch to try and make it mine.

[@DaMuss-e2w]

That DM playing chess and doing other stuff while hes suppose to be running the game, all he had to do was charge for the game and he would of just been like Triple AAA gaming studios with live service games when it comes to respecting players time.

[@DruidGoblin]

1: As a trans woman, even I say that was forced AF, why change the name to Jack from Jacks if it causes dysphoria? my name isn't even remotely similar to my deadname. 2: OP didn't do anything wrong, IF his character is any good alignment, they would want to save the hostages from a reckless team mate.

[@Jidayun]

The paladin story is why my oath is to never play paladin with Randoms.

[@Mailed-Knight]

The counterspell story is a very interesting one

[@andrwblood9162]

That 3rd story... Sounds like that table needs an another sesson zero or some other kind of above table talk to figure out what No PvP means in that campaign. Potentially, the DM could say it was their call and it'll be their call next time. Though... communication between the players need to happen to be able to play together. Cooperation can field better results.

[@axelwulf6220]

Everyone is in a hurry to make Paladins Oath Breakers, as if that's the edgiest thing..... Oh....

[@do3807]

Story 1: So, if DM believes the players are truly transphobic, then why not kick them? I'm thinking DM is just being messy for no reason.

[@solan7978]

What?!?! What fantasy world has "hate crimes"?

[@GarkKahn]

Story 1: Ok... I still have no idea what's going on Now i interpret his-her-its-my-your-our-their name as jacques Oh and also, Never sail to Australia, where Jack is the common name for strangers 😂

[@CooperAATE]

I miss back-to-back Doge

[@CorvoThePlagueDoctor]

Want to cause people to gain a prejudice? Because that kind of behavior is what causes prejudice to form.

[@candleeyed]

first one... i could see the DM actually having "Jax" be Jack's deadname, or an old name he went by, and just going about it the wrong way. because as a trans person, that's like... the only way that could possibly make sense.

[@candleeyed]

okay 8h of sleep later that was clearly just an excuse to be a dick to their players. live and learn

[@Arlesmon]

For story 2. We all know that no d&d is better than bad d&d. But as den of the drake said, bad d&d is better than boring d&d, becuase at the very least with bad d&d you get a cool horror story and some dumb stuff

[@animelytical8354]

Counterspelling out of nowhere us fine. But expect them to not like you in game

[@ArcCaravan]

Same can be said for fireballing allies.

[@Psycopathicus]

I think the 'magic pool' idea COULD be interesting, if used well, but it would need some hard and fast rules on it, not just 'at the DM's discretion'. Make it something that you can measure and mess around with, use strategically, that sort of thing, not 'well, you tried to do something cool with magic, so now I'm punishing you'.

[@magiclakey19]

Subbed to u.. I’ve never played DnD but always watched others play n always wanted to. Great channel n keep up the gd work 😊

[@sauvagess]

"I feel like OP kinda glossed over their parents forbidding DnD because they got a message from God. That's just nuts." First time experiencing the Satanic Panic, Doge?

[@KhanjoOfEthiopia]

I kind of actually need the full Jack lore, why did their parents name them Jacks? why did they transition from Jacks to Jack, as opposed to any other name?

[@tod557]

FLOOFY DOGE!

[@shadowpoet4398]

Ohhhh wow. This would NOT go over well with me. He'd learn a thing or two about freedom of speech.

[@miket3827]

The counter spell is both good and bad. Both sides are kinda correct tbh. But the last story I thought had a cool new magic system. The problem being that the players didn’t know. If they knew, they would’ve focused more on half casters, non-casters, and had a single maybe two dedicated full casters. So that’s honestly on the DM for failing to communicate. Frankly I’d love to run or play a magic system like that! But.. I’d need to be told ahead of time.

[@ArcCaravan]

Counterspell on a party member sounds no worse than fireball hitting allies. That magic system sounds annoying unless there's more to it than punishing the party for using their abilities the way the official rules say they can.

[@waltvonkeisel5610]

Tbh its people like that DM who are the reason people outside of the LGBT community don't take it particularly seriously and even clown on it and give them a bad name.

[@Oh_Its_That_Weirdo]

Spot on. If he actually thinks of himself as an ally... he ain't, and shouldn't be accepted as one.

[@lorienninavah6696]

Counterspell story, this is an interaction that should have stayed in game, not out of game. The action to counterspell didn't harm or kill anyone, so I would say it isn't pvp. After that, it should have been a character development moment between the characters themselves, and not contention between the players.

[@octogen1282]

First story sounds like either the DM (if true) or the poster (if fiction) has some pretty awful opinions about trans people tbh. Reactions like this don't really happen IRL, at least in my experience, because people can usually sense why you said what you said and react accordingly.

[@ArcCaravan]

Looked like DM just used transphobia as a smoke screen to hide how this was all petty revenge over a gag he didn't like.

[@octogen1282]

@@ArcCaravan Definitely looked like that

[@codymarshall587]

Surely the name was Jax vs Jack

[@bradywomack9751]

DM says it’s not PvP and in this case it’s not PvP. Not PvP. If players are too upset on this may they would be happier playing a Single Player Shooter. If god tells you anything about D&D get a bigger god.

[@clarehidalgo]

2:02 I would have spelled it Jax if I had misheard it instead of Jacks

[@Wrathura]

Nah nah nah. If the group has decided to adhere to no pvp, then no pvp. There are no exemptions to that. Deal with the death of npcs, dont try to stop it with action against another player. Sorry, you agreed. You're the problem if you break the agreement.

[@karisasani7006]

The issue is, in this case it could also cause them not to be as in good standing with the village if that went off and if there was more clarification on what it meant to be no pvp, it could be considered more reasonable. In this case, the player using counterspell was doing it because they knew that it wouldn't cause the villagers to be as angry

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

Counterspell seems so weird to me, I feels like you should have to roll for reaction time or reflexes or something, does counterspell have that roll? I don't think I've ever seen anyone roll to react.

[@ArcCaravan]

Reactions are their own category of turn economy seperate from action and bonus action. In exchange for counterspell being used for a reaction, no other reactions can be done like attack of opportunity.

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

@ArcCaravan Oh ok, that makes sense, thanks.

[@monikasernek1177]

I know it was mentioned in just a throwaway line, but if D&D is satanic - What are other ttrpgs then?

[@Manorbis]

I think scifi ones are "scientologists" but I'm not sure...

[@Phantomcuffs]

DM in the first story needs to get a slap across the mouth for that character bleed. For the record, Jack is not a real person. Jack doesn’t have any feelings about being called the wrong name. Jack does not exist. People need to cut this crap out acting like drawings are sentient beings hello

[@Manorbis]

Paladin, "yeah, a bit standard" what the crap, why hate on paladins? you don't need to justify playing a class that's in the game.

[@ArcCaravan]

Calling a paladin standard isn't hating on them.

[@Manorbis]

@ArcCaravan the tone of the statement would imply otherwise...

[@ArcCaravan]

@@Manorbis No more than every class.

[@vortega472]

Ah Simba, what wisdom lies behind those eyes? Hey Doge, I don't think we've seen Alice in a while, just asking. Love me some Alice.

[@crypticwander421]

To be fair D&D isn't Dragon Age Failguard.

[@Manorbis]

Did I miss it, did they even know the character was trans?

[@ArcCaravan]

DM didn't reveal that until multiple sessions into the campaign. And based on other comments, Jack isn't even an original character DM owned. He was a module NPC who wasn't transgender so the deadname argument seems more like DM spiting players over a mispronunciation.

[@garrettbriscoe2329]

Yea that’s like calling a sexist racist republican for getting someone’s name wrong 🙂

[@DaMuss-e2w]

You learn something new every day. If you had told me that a dead name exists I would of thought it might be something like a Death Name in my culture. When a significant person dies, sometimes people are given names to do with that event, that do not make a lot of sense out of context. Like Coffin, or Bury, often they are just a short form of the name, and they don't translate well either.

[@blesper3415]

Me after just hearing the premise of story 1. "It's going to be a madeup story to villify progressive types" Me after hearing story 1. "Yup, seems like I was probably right."