DnD Player "SPEED RUNS" One Shot | r/rpghorrorstories

[@rommdan2716]

- "My character gets into their broom and fly away from the island" - "Perfect, they get out of the island and out of the campaign, now it's your turn to get out of the table"

[@BlackRainRising]

be like "if YOU die at my table, YOU are out... not anyone else, just you... oh look YOU died... how you ask? You don't know, you're dead and off my table, but for the rest of you as he flies away something manifests in the clouds and swallows any flying creatures... now continuing on after it fades away..."

[@mrosskne]

Wow, you guys really suck at DMing. I would have improvised something on the spot and there wouldn't have been any problems.

[@pogggaming4470]

@@mrosskneskill issue?

[@DragonClapper1855]

​@@pogggaming4470Sounds more like they're a problem player that's used to people or DMs accommodating their selfish choices.

[@viennasavage9110]

Thats just petty tbh. Out of the campaign is fair since the character escaped by fair means, but kicking them from the table just because they found a solution you didn't think of is an arrogant thing to do. It sounds like you're less suited for DM and should just become a writer who makes their own independent stories at that point.

[@AmazingAutist]

7:00 I honestly have to clap it up for that first time dm. It is so refreshing to see not only a player, but a dungeon master, that has an actual spine. A fully calcified human spine. They won't come back, they weren't overstepping, they were very clear and concise and very firm on their boundaries. They made sure that other players got their chance to speak. They didn't evolve into arguments with that one problem player and instead just moved on or shut him down. Honestly I'm so happy to hear this props to that DM and that game I'm sure it was not mediocre at all.

[@kolyasoul3343]

If a black cat brings bad luck, what does a vampire bring? Bat luck

[@CooperAATE]

Neck pain

[@SIS3W3N]

VD

[@mrosskne]

hepatitis

[@GarkKahn]

What does a bad joke bring? Getting hit with a bat

[@dylanmalone14]

Boo

[@Theokal3]

"He had the bard interact in 'private' ways with him" I KNEW IT!

[@millennialboomer6780]

I feel like life debts should be something the person who was saved offers willingly in their graditude, not something that the savior should coerce them into

[@starofjustice1]

That's called "slavery"

[@valivali8104]

​@@starofjustice1 by blackmail.

[@bossked1563]

What, you've never played KotOR 2 where the villain coerces a wookie into serving you when the wookie would rather just die? Obviously it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, I'm surprised more heroes don't do this!

[@GarkKahn]

True like gifts If you're forced to give me one then it's not a gift, it's closer to paying taxes

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

My swashbuckler rogue recently had his own life debt story. I was chaotic stupid and it nearly got him killed. I rolled a nat 1 on my first death save, on my next term he desperately said “Gods, if one of you save me I’ll become a cleric.”. Dm rolled a 1 on a divine intervention dice (as a level three swashbuckler I obviously can’t do that but DM liked my little side story so he agreed to it). Dm then said if he rolled a 75 on his percentile dice I’d be back as a cleric. He rolls 90 + (don’t remember the exact number but it was in between 90 and 99). Originally I only agreed to take my 4th level in cleric but the percentile roll was so high that I agreed to just switch classes and since I was brought back from death saves DM and I agreed that i’d pick life cleric. Because of the debt I’m not allowed to go back to my former life (meaning I’m not allowed to take rogue levels, my call not the DM’s). I deliberately gave myself very few combat options except for word of radiance which at level 3 only does a max of 6 radiant damage and life cleric comes with spiritual weapon which at level 2 does 1d8 plus 5 (I maxed wisdom) plus I have a +2 strength modifier because my dm let me have a returning dagger, I tied my rope to the hilt making a Scorpion kunai, when I make an attack roll with it, the target and I make contested athletics rolls, if I win “GET OVER HERE!”. I made that when I was still a rogue so the dagger itself did more damage than it does now (I now have +0 in strength) but I love the gimmick so I kept the weapon, I deliberately picked Life domain because I wanted to be a support character anyway so I don’t care about losing 5 points of damage.

[@phoeberia2734]

The first story is a fun example of when someone tries to bs their way through a first time DM not expecting them to have a backbone XD

[@LathamSupreme]

Starting gold will NEVER afford a broom of flying.

[@evolution031680]

I can relate to the last story, as I was definitely “off” in my group’s last session (I’m the DM). I lost track of whose turn it was (a few times) during a large battle, mixed up which monsters had been damaged, completely forgot about an NPC’s turn altogether several times, and argued over the rules with one of my better players on more than one occasion, which put a damper on the rest of the session. My group usually has great sessions, but that one was definitely “off.” It’s weirdly comforting, though, to know that others have had similar experiences. It’s just frustrating when you spend so much time preparing, only for everything to just fall flat on the big day.

[@tarvoc746]

11:49 - "What kind of hero rescues people just to force them into servitude??" - The Shield Hero. XD

[@Soulessnight4]

Was so confused why the bard offed herself… then the ‘will kill herself if she dies’ and just… like yeah that’s not surprising what a prick

[@chrisrudolf9839]

The dwarf player in the second story certainly was problematic, but there is also some blame on the DM's side for enabling him. Unless the bard's culture or religion actually had a preestablished strict tradition of life debts, he could just have the bard politely tell the dwarf to stick his life debt nonsense where the sun doesn't shine. While it makes sense that the bard was initially greatful and willing to aid the party who saved them, they could and probably should have taken their foot down when the dwarf demanded that magical contract that made the bard essentially his property and even forced her to die in case he should die. Hardly anyone in their right mind would go along with that.

[@BlueTressym]

I was thinking exactly the same. It's an unfortunate truth that too many GMs let all of this go on. To be fair, the fact that GMing requires a certain amount of assertiveness and willingness to put one's foot down when PCs pull this kind of thing is too often left out of advice and guides for new GMs. Still, I hope GM got better at saying "No," to stuff like this.

[@dango2917]

Right thats probably why the dwarf did it because the DM let it go on and he felt it was okay.

[@maxg1891]

Thank goodness that Dwarf in the second story didn't try that life dept stunt on a PC.

[@BlackRainRising]

in 3.5, Broom of Flying is a medium wonderous item, market price 17k gp... starting gold doesn't even come close

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Thank you. In Pathfinder it is also 17000 gp.

[@Nyghtking]

Someone commented, in 5e it's between 101 and 500 gp, so while possible to be able to buy one from character creation you would have to roll extremely lucky on your gold dice, and thats even if the dm decided it was available in the first place.

[@Klaital1]

@@Nyghtking In 5e there actually is no set prices for any magic items so it's entirely up to the DM how much a magic item would cost, if you could even buy them in the first place.

[@EnraiChannel]

I do wonder why it's so common to have these "I don't know them, I don't trust them" players who try to solo in D&D. If you aren't going to play as a party you can always just day dream.

[@Nbird16]

If I were DM in the first story I would of been like "Your character flies off into the distance till he is a speck on the horizon. Make a new character."

[@G94Nick]

Dude made bard end herself when HE died. Guy is a prick for sure

[@valivali8104]

None of bard's actions made sense; party saved her, not dwarf, and she had no reason to write contract. DM was gutless...

[@JetstrussySam]

@@valivali8104Dwarf is part of the party so it sorta makes sense, DM did a but of a dumb move tho

[@valivali8104]

@@JetstrussySam but why only one member, who neither did main work in saving her nor was leader?

[@JetstrussySam]

@@valivali8104 yeah, that’s where the DM being gutless comes in, lore wise the sense it makes is fuck-all.

[@7thsealord888]

Story #1 - Yeah, That Guy got every chance to stay, and he still failed. Story #2 - I put a lot on the DM for allowing the 'life-debt' nonsense in the first place. I really do NOT like PvP but in this case, for this individual, I have few problems with what the party did - ESPECIALLY considering what they found out about him afterwards. Story #3 - What the DM really needed to do was say - "Uh, guys? What's the hurry? If you want to do this high-speed, fine, but you'll miss out on a lot if you do so." Maybe toss in extra encounters or developments to discourage short-cuts. Last Story - The Wizard Was An Idiot. Enough said.

[@kylecline5975]

Poor bard hope they could resurrect

[@bw344]

Me and some friends were playing a campaign a friend designed, we accidentally managed to avoid combat through a combination of stealth checks and choking. Kicked a door open, found the guy we were supposed to kidnap, and our dm started laughing his ass off. He said that he was frustrated we got the easy route but congratulated us on our luck.

[@anahitaart7701]

I just watched a few of the DnD Doge videos and I’d like to apologize on the behalf of all sorcerers cause we seem to be the problem quite often 😭

[@marybdrake1472]

OP did a good job a s first time DM. You do not put up with that behavior at all. There is no way sorcerer could gotten a boom of flying with his starting gold. While I don't know how much that costs, but I can say there is no way you're buying that at level one.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

In Pathfinder, a Broom of Flying is 17000 gp.

[@marybdrake1472]

@@sherylcascadden4988 Ouch. Um, I knew it. 😅 That is really expensive and I can only imagine it is not much different in D&D.

[@Changeling]

In D&D (according to RAW) the Broom of Flying, being an uncommon item, would be anywhere between 100 and 600 gp depending on what you roll on the price table in Xanathar's Guide to Everything (1d6 x 100). Starting gold for a sorcerer is 3d4 x 10...I suspect the problem player used the minimum price for the broom and gave themselves the full 120 starting gold.

[@marybdrake1472]

@@Changeling That seems about right. It's still cheating like all hell though.

[@Changeling]

@@marybdrake1472 Absolutely. I could understand misreading about getting both starting gold and starting equipment from a new player, but this was not that. And anything that involves buying a magic item should have the DM involved in it.

[@iank472]

The DM in the second story adds to my conviction that one of the most important skills a DM needs is the self confidence to stand up to players. You have to walk the line between letting players have fun and curbing the more *extreme* behaviours.

[@Fatherofheroesandheroines]

As a father, I can tell you that the Sorcerer was acting like a child. So, OP gave him too many warnings, he should have been gone after the first one.

[@sunzi42]

"Sorcerer" was "Cartman" from "South Park". The Dwarf was a psychopath.

[@2212blackstar]

…so cartman from South Park then? 😅 be honest the things cartman has been shown to do in their show. if the bard was Kyle or any individual he’s antagonistic to he’d do these things

[@vortega472]

It's Thursday cringe, have you hugged your Baby House Panther yet? Seems like the DM in the first story was an effective way and it shows they have a backbone. I just think they will get better with time.

[@dracone4370]

Once again, I think it could be amusing to see Doge's cats turned into what is basically a party of Tabaxi.

[@mikec1222]

Sorcerer was wrong, but nobody is above 'being argued with'

[@polymphus]

entirely based on the title: an insane character who is convinced they can "speedrun" reality and keeps grinding against random walls and doing little backward jumps would actually be hilarious. Like a warlock and your patron is The Level Developer. When he casts a spell he's turning on the haxx.

[@robertwildschwein7207]

Amoung the crowd, you spot a handsome figure in nice robes.

[@Warriormon87]

"Fine. Ill just say silent for ever." Is something my 4¾ year old would say.

[@ClipperHorizon]

Broom of Flying is an Uncommon Item, so RAW should cost between 101 and 500 gp, depending on availability. Sorcerers should get starting gold of 3d4 x 10gp (average 75 gp), so it's technically possible to get over 100gp IF he rolled at least 11 (out of 12 max) and IF a Broom of Flying was available (wherever the character was starting) for almost the minimum possible price. I also might impose conditions on the broom (say it was damaged or old and unreliable), like they can use it for a max of 10 minutes per day in 1 minute increments, or it occasionally twitched violently and they have to make a check to stay on. Keeping in mind that RAW a character gets EITHER starting equipment OR starting gold, but not both, if a player of mine desperately wanted to start with a Broom of Flying and had a VERY GOOD character/backstory reason to do so I might allow it, but I would rule they start with the broom and the clothes on their back, period.

[@RolyatSille]

I’d probably flavor it so that the broom’s magic was failing and flying on it just acts like casting Fly. Put Sorceror in a state of Concentration, focusing on stabilizing the broom with their own magic. Additionally, probably have it so it only lasts 10 minutes before you have to choose to get off of it for at least 8 hours to not stress the broom or consume a spell slots it keep it going. 3 level 1s, 2 level 2s, or 1 level 3 for the 10 minutes or more time for higher level spell slots. Sorceror can make and eat spell slots like crazy, so make it something engaging that they have to think about, taking on this risk for a decently powerful starting item. A flying speed is a VERY strong ability, so it’s got to come at a high cost. Plus, it could make for a whole narrative side quest where the Sorceror can work on repairing the broom by gathering different rare materials and getting help from different casters to restore the broom to its former glory, one that’s better than your typical flying broom.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

If the dungeon master does not see the dice getting rolled, they have not been rolled.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

I play Pathfinder mainly, and a Broom of Flying is worth 17000 gp in that system.

[@seebassteterismaster7879]

@@sherylcascadden4988 If I remember, You also need to become proficient with the fly skill to properly fly or else you plummet to the unforgiving earth when ANYTHING happens to them.

[@viennasavage9110]

Whats the point of participating in a story as a player that doesn't let you deviate from the traditional plan?

[@bonbonthebattleswine7444]

"One of my players murdered all the other players in real life" "I suggest you talk to the player and let them know that killing people is wrong and if the player doesn't like that kick them from the table"

[@paulzumback7611]

Liking because kitty reminded me of said functionality

[@Random_Chiroptera]

Lichling? Suped up Flame Skull? This is called a Demilich.

[@Doodle1776]

The second story is another great example of a good mix of a crappy player and a crappy GM.

[@solarchos4352]

0:15 - .....LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY!!! nnnnnnnnnnnnJEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIINS~!!!

[@sapphicmoonwitch]

This could be cool for a dedicated speedrunning group but not without that being established

[@CooperAATE]

For the last bit's wizard section, I 100% agree with the wizard player. If you write a Flaw on your character sheet, but you literally never play into it, then... do you even have a flaw? (The answer is "no," btw) Playing into your PC's personality (you know, the one you chose) is exactly what your character should be doing, because it's *who they are*. Thy are supposed to learn from their mistakes and grow, but they have to actually make the mistakes for that to happen. Just sounds like the party (and DM) were salty she didn't make the 'optimal' move tbh. Good job, wizard, you played your character.

[@cmhsky]

That's not a sorcerer. That's Waldo

[@jamesgotchall7205]

I let each character start with I uncommon item at least because some characters just have problems with their characters working the way they want. I have I monk I run and they have the Hand wraps of Unarmed Proficiency, but instead of being uncommon, to start they are just armwraps the monk wears to protect their arms

[@greasysmith3150]

Im hoping for sonic music for the speedrun

[@FirstnameLastname-bp2pg]

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead.

[@paperBurrito-se1dj]

I’m scared of that dog

[@CooperAATE]

My streak is broken, but i had a nice date instead. Worth it. Hello, Doge

[@barriehannon6857]

i like the word Crypt

[@Preaplanes]

Should I make a reddit post about the time I was stuck in a group with a guy who wanted to play an elf girl? Who was 12? In human years? And was a pr0$titute? The character, not the player? Who kept trying to use mind effects to do the male members of the party? Because good lord, is that a horror story. I quit that group pretty quick, but not as quick as I should have because 2 sessions was WAY MORE than enough. /shudder

[@DnDDoge]

If you'd like to post it to my subreddit, I'd be sure to take a look!

[@deepseastonecore3017]

Micro machine man bard or lawyer Warlock

[@kolyasoul3343]

I will go with the lawyer Warlock

[@MK_ULTRA420]

​@@kolyasoul3343 Saul Goodman with Patron Yog-Sothoth _"Your Honor, I did not cast those Eldritch Blasts. They each came out of a portal nearby me that just so happened to hit them. You cannot prove that I was the cause of the victims' deaths, and if I had any idea of where those blasts came from I would tell you."_

[@reesescup69]

Woohoo I got it Edit: had to get that message so fast I couldn't say anything. Love you doge thank you for making Monday's and Thursdays way better

[@TylerChristofferson-bi6ri]

I can't even seem to find a group on discord to play with how do these guys seem to be able to play

[@poiuppx]

Cripes, the one-shot story hurts. I think we've all had that session where, even with the best group, the stars anti-aligned and everything went sideways in and out of character. That said, considering the mood after the one-shot, I would argue Wizard was extra-wrong to pull something so inherently disruptive. There's a time for that, and ideally, it comes with at least a thimble-full of table buy-in beforehand. When the DM is already bummed their big holiday one-shot just got featured on Games Done Quick involuntarily, you don't do something that will drag the players into argument and you sure as hell don't keep the argument rolling forward for a literal half hour.

[@Wintercide]

The wizard with the flaw, seems to be playing their character. Yes it's something to over come, but in order to do that properly you have to face the consequences of it. Otherwise it's pointless fluff and doesn't add to the character. Also they may have been 'inspired' by the paladin from the one shot.

[@BlueTressym]

That's a fair point BUT they still need to acknowledge OOC that they realise that was a bad thing for their character to have done and at least said sorry for nearly getting another player's character killed for the sake of their own character's RP.

[@CooperAATE]

Hey look, somebody that actually roleplays! I like you.

[@valivali8104]

Being so stupid that she would have gotten herself killed years ago, plus having no regrets nor will to improve sounds like using "that’s what my character would do" as excuse to be jerk... Edit: removed accidental double and comma for clarity.

[@viennasavage9110]

@@valivali8104 Well it isnt. Sometimes, once in a blue moon, people don't rp as the same exact personality across the board. It's not like he was targetting anyone specifically or being personal with his actions. He just did something that didn't particularly benefit the party and people got pissed.

[@valivali8104]

@@viennasavage9110 wizard? Still don’t see why your actions were bad? Why you look like jerk who hides behind "roleplay"? 🙄

[@joaosoares-rr5mj]

i want the art from the thumbnail! ;-;

[@Killintimepassinthru]

268 viewer at 19 minutes after posting and 4th commentor. Trying to feed the algorithm.

[@R3GARnator]

Second story's dwarf sounds like an incel.

[@lalunafate]

Honestly in story 1 the DM was at fault for not checking character sheets beforehand, but for sure that player was bad too.

[@eolha]

instead of risky reels..

[@nekomancer47]

Tbf, in that first story, while the Sorcerer was being an annoying lil shit, it IS kinda the DM’s fault for not checking over his sheet before the game to make sure everything is ok. If OP didn’t want the sorcerer to have these busted items, they should’ve done at least a cursory glance at the sheet beforehand. Would’ve taken just a few minutes to look at everyone’s sheets and make sure nothing stands out. Especially as this sounds like it was an online game with randos

[@viennasavage9110]

I agree here. The main issue was suspicion of cheating and the fact that he had a broom of flying but there was no interaction with anyone who'd sell that? You cant pick both starting gold AND equipment, so thats definitely an illegal move there. Otherwise it'd be fine.

[@mjf40087]

No. It's not OP's fault that a player was playing in bad faith, and trying to exploit the game.

[@thedungeondelver]

The first and third scenarios were bad DMing. The first was bad DMing plus bad play but the second, the DM clearly had A Story To Tell and he was damned if he was going to let player agency get in his way. So...yeah, you're the a-hole, DM 3.

[@marykandis959]

First things first.. the sorc is a dick and needs to be canned ASAP for his table behavior. Same with the unsolicited homebrew item. As for the broom... Eh.... the broom of flying is dickish but you could do it depending on starting level. In 3.5 a broom is 17k and a level 9 PC starts with 36k gold so it fits within the "no item more than half your starting total" rule. However! It can only carry 200lbs and only works for 9 hours a day + is subject to all antimagic since it requires the spell to function.

[@superiorrule34]

For the second story I want to go with everyone sucks the dwarf player for Obvious reasons but the rest of the party did asshole thing to do not healing him and letting him die because this doesn’t make anything better he’s not gonna change because no one told him why they did what they did but also the next game he plays he gonna do the same thing again and now say your just like my last party ganging up on me.

[@spectrelead]

Dwarf ignored what the other players had been telling him

[@Wintercide]

Op said they had already tried, in and out of character. Sounds like, he would get his shit together for a short time, then do something, get a talking, get his shit together again, the do something, etc. etc. If the DM wasn't going to handle it and outright kick him then someone has to step in. Sounds like everyone was in on it, even the DM. 🤷‍♂️ it was passive aggressive for sure. Just understandably so, imo, especially with the caveat that they had tried 'everything' already.

[@Someguyonline7732]

If dwarf player can’t learn the basic philosophy “if one person you meet is an asshole, they were just an asshole, if all you meet is assholes, you were the asshole,” that’s not anyone else’s problem.

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

The one thing I think I'd disagree with OP on for that first story is not having starting gold. That seems like a wild thing to argue against lol I agree that, if you're using it to buy magic items, you should run them by the DM. However, they took it a step further and claimed starting gold was a no-no after presumably everyone built their character on dndbeyond.

[@danielmartinontiverosvizca7325]

hmmm the first story the DM was a dick, tbh a pet is not something that has game impact

[@DragonClapper1855]

We found the problem player folks.

[@HiddenWindshield]

@@DragonClapper1855 LOL Could be!

[@Someguyonline7732]

No the player was an asshole from the start. You sound like a delight that people love to play with.

[@The13thRonin]

@@DragonClapper1855 When you're literally hanging around to get an easy dunk on a guy for going against the consensus you should probably realize that actually... *you're* that player. Weak.

[@DragonClapper1855]

@@The13thRonin The fuck are you on about? I'm talking about the first story- and was replying to the OP of this section, where the guy was adding stuff without asking the DM first, acting like a jerk and attention hog by using his flying broom and attemptingto insert himself into other people's scenes. Should probably watch the whole video- or at least listen to the story fully, before trying to run your mouth at some random person and calling them weak 🤔

[@mrosskne]

5:46 huh? beat who? why are rpg players so bad at storytelling?