Do Autistic Adults Seem Younger Than Their Age?

[@ashton564]

When I was younger I was thought to be much older than I was, and now that I’m older, people thought I am much younger than I am.

[@arrowverselover100]

Same thing. I am actually very Mature, but the things I say aren't what an adult should say. I used to be at the same level as the other kids my age, and then middle school happened and everyone else changed when I stayed the same.

[@clownpal697]

@@arrowverselover100 Same here, I just though that I was the only one with autism because I felt like I was the crazy one. But however I now know there are people that are like me

[@daniellemann4975]

Same!

[@SonicfanFhWcCt]

Same with me

[@SaRah-21532]

I'm almost 25 but in my head I still feel abut 14/15. I do not feel ready for grown up life at all which makes finding a job really difficult because I have constant imposter syndrome. On the other hand I feel like as a child I was always really mature and responsible and independent.

[@pooppoop5717]

Same,, I feel like 14 or 15 but,," I'll look like a teenager a bit.

[@Rashy225]

Me too. I’m 25 in a few days but don’t feel it. I guess it’s because I’m judging myself by neurotypical standards.

[@lukethestoner4380]

I’m a 19 year old autistic man and I still feel like I’m supposed to be 14, idk it’s hard to explain

[@ng3057]

Im 24 , i feel realy cheated by time . I feel only just an adult like 18 . It makes me so sad when people perceive me and expect me to know and have done things that is typical for a 24 year old .

[@compulsiverambler1352]

I think "imposter syndrome" is a real thing but a lot less common than currently thought. When all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. The toxic positivity side of humanity has pushed the notion, long before "imposter syndrome" was coined, that lacking confidence in a task considered easy or doable by most people, is never simply an accurate assessment of one's track record of performance at that task. In other words, we are told that we are more capable than we are, if we have good verbal skills and narrow-task intelligence, and this is devastating. I have a theory that the only reason "high masking" is associated with women and not men, is depressingly because high-masking men fall through the cracks of society completely at a much higher rate than women do, and don't appear in the statistics or studies of normal-IQ or high-masking autism due to the fact that they are not supported and believed when they have trouble keeping jobs and are just allowed to become homeless, turn to crime to support themselves, and to unalive themselves. You can't get diagnosed if you are a) not as likely to go to the doctor for anything, as men in general are not, and b) homeless or turned to crime or dead due to lacking the option of being a househusband and lacking the option of becoming a custodial parent supported by the state and the other parent. Population studies looking for signs of undiagnosed autism, are not representative of the whole population of autistic people who get born, because they ignore all the people who have died young, all the people who are homeless and all the people in prison, which are all disproportionately male worldwide. So high-masking men are not going to show up in population studies if I am right in my speculation that high-masking men are "hiding" in those three demographics excluded by autism research. That just shows how high the stakes are. Toxic positivity, not believing people when they say they can't do things, is really very serious. We need to assert that "you can do it, you just lack confidence" when it comes to employment is often toxic positivity and medical gaslighting, akin to when people with chronic illness get told they just need to be more positive and they will be able to get back to work. Getting a full time paid job within the capitalist system is seen as the only way to deserve to live by many, a moral imperative for anyone except the most severely disabled people, ignoring all the ways that you can contribute the economy in other ways like providing free babysitting to relatives who can't afford childcare when they work, or caring for relatives or being a handyman to many people in your life... all of this free labour that unemployed people on benefits often do is ignored in people who can't handle full time paid work even though those things make a more positive impact than working for some huge unethical corporation like many people accepted as "good citizens" do.

[@Potatodork64]

Holy crap, this video resonates incredibly with me. When I was younger I always thought to myself that when I got older I will feel more mature or like an adult. Still don’t feel older mentally. I never quite understood why, wondering when I would drop it all and be like everyone else. Im 32 and absolutely loved Pokémon when I was a kid, I’m still obsessed with it.

[@evag-s5177]

I completely relate. In some ways I feel 12 and in some ways I feel 40. I'm nearly 20. I'm very responsible and often get along well with older adults, but some of my interests are more associated with kids, and sometimes I feel really immature. I think some of that is related to societal expectations of people my age that I don't follow (I don't go to parties, I don't drink, I've never been in a romantic relationship, etc). I've been told on many occasions that I'm really good with kids, and I consider that to be one of my strengths. I think it comes from that mixture of responsibility and childlike interests.

[@kristinwallace6551]

I am 27 but feel much younger. In my head I am about 12/13 I would say. Even when I was 5 I was worried about growing up. My parents remember me crying and being anxious about the age part of birthdays. It is hard because I feel like I watched my nuerotypical best friend grow up and I stayed the same. She had a baby and all of this stuff that seems so odd and foreign to me. I enjoy toys and things that younger people enjoy. I also look way younger than I am. Part of that is due to my connective tissue disorder (cEDS) as well. Great topic. It is definitely something I think about a lot.

[@arrowverselover100]

I watched Disney channel until I was 17. Everyone my age stopped when they were still in elementary school.

[@bema_seat]

I found this while looking for videos on the following topic: Autism and looking younger. Result: only 1 short at the time of writing. I am 44, and at one of the last jobs I had, my age came up. I then asked them, "How old do you think I am?" A 19 year old guessed 25, and a 65 year old guessed 28. I've read that it isn't out of the ordinary for people to misjudge your age by 15 - 20 years (16 & 19 in this case). I have found some articles on the topic and the main takeaways are: Flat Facial Affect (limited facial movement / facial expression, thus fewer or lessened lines). "It is not a condition by itself; it's a symptom of various other conditions, including schizophrenia, autism, or post-traumatic stress disorder." Additionally, the fact that bright lights (ie. the Sun), might be an issue for you. This is true for me, which has me indoors primarily. Less exposure to direct sunlight = less wear and tear / premature aging. Thirdly, for me at least, not wanting to be near anyone else also has me indoors, safe and sound. Just wanted to put this out there, as I was surprised to find virtually nothing on the topic on YT. I'm curious to see thoughts on this. Regarding the shift you brought up, I can relate. I do think that more adults not on the spectrum are into "younger" things in general for a few reasons: today's adults are more likely to be youth obsessed, and with looking younger physically, in addition to following modern trends / fads (fashion choices) that might help them appear to be more youthful in general. Secondly, most people my age grew up playing video games (not me) and continue to do so for a number of reasons. I also think that Arrested Development (not the hilarious tv show) has something to do with this.

[@bluemoongirl241]

I relay so much to what you said about not feeling that shift from child to grown up. I haven't heard anyone talk about this on other channels so I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one.

[@ng3057]

Omg with the tv shows yess !! I watched pre school shows until like 13 years old . I watch tv shows made for teens now!

[@SonicfanFhWcCt]

I’m almost 19 and I still watch Backyardigans which is considered a preschool show.

[@Clark-mm7gw]

Your "sit down and talk" videos are so relatable. I've pretty much always had interests that were geared at people younger than me. A lot of mine are nostalgic so that might be part of it. I've also noticed that people tend to care less the older they get.

[@zakzwijn8410]

Absolutely, I was diagnosed at 36, now 41 years old and especially when I'm clean shaven people tend to think I'm in my early 30's.

[@ashleybluford6974]

Love this 😀 I never grew up!

[@catz537]

People think I LOOK younger than I am (I'm 25); I often get asked if I'm still in school; I think more than once, someone thought I was still in high school after I graduated from college. I suspect this is partially due to the way I act, but I want to know if autistic people generally look younger too. I definitely have a baby face...it's not as much of a baby face as it was when I was younger, but I think it's still there. So do most autistic people have a baby face, or is that just me? Lol

[@rebeccam9762]

I get this all the time, I got provisionally diagnosed for ASD yesterday and I'm 28 but every job I've ever had people have asked, "oh is this your first job since leaving school?" Sometimes it leads to insults, too, often directed at my fiancé about how young I look even though I'm over a year older than him, and it just unsettles me so much, I think "adults" aren't allowed to smile or laugh or show facial expressions sometimes. 🙄 If anything it's comforting to know others experience this.

[@catz537]

@@rebeccam9762 Yeah that's annoying. My boyfriend told me that his coworkers said I look like he "robbed the cradle" until he showed them a picture of me feeding a tiger at one of my internships, and then they said I finally looked old enough that he didn't seem like a pedophile .-.

[@rebeccam9762]

@@catz537 I'm so sorry you and your boyfriend had to experience that, people can be so strange with what they say and it's so upsetting to hear when you know it's not the truth.

[@citrusella-nomorecraptions]

I work at a school. More than once I've had a staff member act like I was a student--it's less common now but every time it happens it's weird and I have to wonder if they're going to believe me when I correct them.

[@rebeccam9762]

@@citrusella-nomorecraptions I'm so sorry, it always frustrates me too, it's just that weird feeling that you're having to prove your age, people will always say to me, "you're joking!" and every time it's awkward.

[@blueblousedesigns]

I'm 27 and live with high functioning. I was diagnosed at two. I run an age regression (agere) blog on Tumblr. I call myself a "middle" and I use the terms "Little Age" and "Big Age" (my Big Age is 27 and my Little Age is 13). I agree about the fact that my idea of adulthood is child-like.

[@JanealJohnson]

I’m nearing 50 and still feel young. I make it a joke that I’m 12. Adulting is one thing but growing up. Never.

[@erickorta3171]

i think it’s not about just one factor, but a combination of many, in regards of the literally physical aspect i’m pretty sure it’s at least in my case, but i bet most can relate, because i tend to not use my facial muscles as a way of natural expression but only intentional, and i’ve heard that facial expressions are what make your face to wrinkle which is something that is usually seen as a sign of age, and since my face is smooth af people thinks i’m younger of what i’m actually are.

[@erickorta3171]

the other factors are more widely discussed, like the childish personality and stuff.

[@HangNguyen-ih8rf]

I asked my 9 years old son today “do i act like a child”? He said “yes, most of the time.” Im 41 and people think im in my mid 20s…i wonder if it’s because how i look or behave or both.

[@nimhard]

I'm 40, I watch cartoons with my daughter everyday and I feel way younger than I am.

[@craigcarter400]

Both my girlfriend and I fit into this. She may just have ADHD but could be on the spectrum as well and I am AuDHD. She will be 42 in April and I turned 40 in January and we could definitely pass for 28 ish.

[@ravenkitley7092]

Totally relate I’m technically chronologically 28 But I still play with toys and I have tons of stuff to animals

[@maryespinosa7068]

I'm 31 and i have fragile x syndrome and it causes me to have a learning disability and it makes me get emotional easy and have trouble understanding certain thing's and it's a form of autism i love stuffed animals too and coloring and i love jojo swia and wearing her hair bows

[@marissahammer6211]

Even in my dreams people guess I'm 16? I'm like hey don't assume!!! I'm 27

[@melanietoth1376]

I'm nearly 50. I smoke. I am without wrinkles or grey hair and diagnosed autistic. I cant buy smokes or alcohol without being carded and I get the eyebrow raise from cashiers. My son and i are often considered siblings. My partner is several years younger than I and people think I'm near ten years younger than he is. I think what I look like has a great deal to do with it but theres also my tendency to be wide eyed (really big eyes but also in a fascination sense), I enjoy things more than adults I know seem to understand, I play still. I'm also still super flexible and love climbing around and hiking, etc. I'm certainly slowing down but I'm nowhere near as "old" as those who are my age. It's so weird.

[@melanietoth1376]

When I was 25 I passed as 12.

[@JanealJohnson]

I also wonder about the link between autism and chronic pain/fibromyalgia

[@dove.9833]

Same I feel this too I just turned 30 but I feel 15 it’s so hard to explain to others but yes you’ll feel it in your body 15 years of ballet and my hips know it now 😂

[@envystar6665]

Lol im autistic and played with dollies till the age of 14-15 to cope with bullying and never told my friends, now I'm 17 and my stepdad makes jokes how I'm mentally 6 and my neurotypical 14 yo sister acts more mature than me It's sad bc it's actually true, I still can't get along with kids my age and struggle to act mature ooof( i still feel 12-14 tbh)

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

I keep wondering why we look younger. I wonder if it's the way that I carry myself when I walk, move, facial expressions (and lack of, when I am burned out)? Or do our faces show less signs of aging because we avoid stressful environments a lot more than neurotypicals? And if we give less facial expressions, we might have less lined forming on our faces. But yeah, I have a hard time juggling the number of responsibilities that neurotypical adults do.

[@stevenbigbee1766]

Anyone can google the worldwide web for the answer to why many autistics look young. Incredible that our not too bright medical systen pushes the nonsensical narratives like: we behave childish, dont move facial muscles-spend alot of tine alone, dress youthful. There is a science, physiological reason. Query "Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Autism" in web ..autistics carry the gene and affected to varying degrees as to the individual. Creates excess of COLLAGEN in joints, bones, body that creates elasticized skin..thereby look young. The research in that may point to what creates autism. So cool cool. That is why 😎😁😛

[@stevenbigbee1766]

Also EDS/HDS is no picnic..dies create disabling effect for some. And not just shared with autism.No picnic .

[@jesuslovinmountaindewtrust2365]

I'm 19 years old but i feel not ready for adulthood

[@caitlynjs97]

Have you been able to find any articles on this particular topic? I’ve discussed this recently with a counselor, but as for research I haven’t found a whole lot out there, and it would be fascinating to learn more about it.

[@proudqueer666]

I totally feel this way! I'll be 32 next month, but mentally I feel somewhere in between 16 and 20 maybe. I don't even know how other people my age are supposed to act or be interested in, tbh

[@RH117]

Yep. I agree and have the same experience.

[@aprilparks2587]

Iam 38yrs old still looking like no more older than 19 years old I love, love, love anime and I collect anime action figures, geisha dolls,and cosplay, im stuck in the 80s punk is how I love to dress I guess you can call my style cyindy Lauper &mix of kelly osbourne back when kelly osbourne in the first season of osbourne show ❤ so I always get nice comments but course being autism people that are not autism don't understand me think im on drugs or just crazy I even get followed in stores thinking im stealing but I constantly have to tell them i have autism and yes im little crazy but sweet thats what makes me me !😉🙃😁🥰🤗☠✌

[@myautisticpurpleworld]

I like your #ActuallyAutistic t-shirt. Where did you buy it?

[@Autmazing]

Thank you! I got this one and all of the neurodiversity shirts I've been wearing lately at Red Bubble.

[@myautisticpurpleworld]

​@@Autmazing Thanks for answering my question. I love your channel although I found out it recently. Your videos help me to focus while I do my homework.

[@stevenbigbee1766]

Science has recently answered the autistic You Looook Young thingy. Discovered during other research that ALL autistics carry the EDS ehrlos danlos gene. Eds creates an excess of collagen in joints, body thereby creating elastisized skin, therefore we look young. This may vary by individual but obviously is widespread. You do not have to have full spectrum eds/hds. My heart bleeds for asd non asd with that heavy. So there it is. Myself male autistic. At 28 can't get into a club with i.d. I look 16. Doorman says, kid, go home, help your Mom and do your homework! At 49 working with teens they are sure I am 26. Plead to see my i.d., so many OMG. Myself I have always dressed and really behaved younger so adds to it. Bet people can share funny stories the myths of younger will persist unless maybe a super followed you tuber puts truth out.

[@wanderotter4667]

I'm 32, but feel and look like 22.

[@gkseeton]

Totally relate!

[@DifferentReader]

I’m 17 chronologically but I feel somewhere between 9-12

[@bebespeaks7827]

Just a guess, but was Patrick the kid who was suprised by "no one makes fun of others in adult years for liking kid things" ?

[@ashleychurchill9779]

I don’t have autism but i had add as a child. i had some tests done as an adult I’ve got some delayeds but my mother nevertheless noticed. Im in my early 30”s but my face looks young like im 26.

[@jadeannflowerbird5511]

Add is where you struggle to concentrate

[@Candlelightofhope23]

Our curiosity as a adult or “pruning “ to do with brain with us autistics in general has a lot to do with people on spectrum seeming more juvenile or “infantilising” by neurotypicals is annoying and very demeaning :,) please don’t do this . ❤️🙏🏻

[@Autmazing]

So first, not neurotypical. But also, I feel like you had an opinion before watching this about the way disabled people are often infantilized in our society and are giving my words meaning that weren't originally there. I think there's a pretty wide gap between my words and what you're saying.

[@arrowverselover100]

I'm afraid of having kids. I'm afraid that they will end up with autism too. Having kids is a long time away from now, but it's a worry of mine. And I just have this feeling that I will marry someone with autism and that only makes the risk higher and more likely the child will have low functioning autism, when I have high functioning autism. It's awesome to see that you have autism and you are a mother. But your situation only proves my fear.

[@marissahammer6211]

That's honestly such a sad mindset. What's wrong with being neurodivergent?

[@arrowverselover100]

@@marissahammer6211 there's nothing wrong with it. Can't I be afraid without thinking it's wrong?

[@TheCoralie87]

​@@marissahammer6211 Perhaps she doesn't want her children to face a lot of troubles in life.