Do I regret living in the Twelve Tribes for 8 years?

[@sarahmontana7878]

My partner joined the 12 tribes and I still go to visit him. I don't try to convince him to leave because I don't want to create a separation between us. I want him to know I'm here for him no matter where he is with his experience there. I see the way he is growing and he is learning a lot of things about himself. It does feel there is a lot of guilt and shame on who he was and really trying to gut that out. I feel a lot of pressure to join, and I feel that every time I visit I question things. I've seen some stuff with how the children are fearful of doing "foolish" things and that broke my heart. I think the people are genuine and kind and they are all just brainwashed into believing they are living a good life. I know it is a cult, I can see the bigger picture. I can argue with their doctrine all day. There is something inside me that stops me from fully considering joining. I feel their beliefs seeping into my thoughts though and I question things like am I selfish. Will I really find love and community in this world. I feel like I'm playing a part so I don't totally lose him to this and that's a hard place to be. Some times I want to tell him what I really think but I feel like it is useless. I do hope that some day something snaps him out of it, or maybe he will get asked to leave. I just hope it's not after he had a family. I know at some point I will walk away, but losing the person I loved more than anyone else to this has been really difficult.

[@jillybeenz8699]

Wow. Yes. That is super hard. I'm sorry you have to go through that. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders tho! Stay strong and don't bring in division! Good to maintain connection but with strong boundaries. It's always hard to not be able to fully express your heart. I sure wish you the best!! It's impossible to see the outcome, so day by day is the way of the game. Hang in there and feel free to keep me posted ❤️🙏🏽✨

[@larkspurrose3136]

Your comments about regret resonate with me. Im on a very similar journey ❤

[@caseyjonesubetter]

It leaves you Confused and I was only there for like 4 months back in the 90s.

[@gcarr5355]

I don't regret the years I spent in the TT but I do regret that my experience there made it very difficult to readjust to life outside of the community. It has been a long and arduous process lasting over 15 years

[@jillybeenz8699]

How many years did you spend there? Yes, it takes years to deprogram and reestablish beliefs. I wish you all the best! Do my video reign true to your experience? Or similar?

[@organicflatearthprepper7498]

I learned how to go through very difficult times and learned how to rule over my emotions over my ten years there. I was brought to levels of stress and exhaustion living in the community that I prob would of never have gone to anywhere else. I became a man there and shed a lot of my immaturity.

[@lauralynne1483]

Thanks for sharing. Do you think it's possible to regret without also being resentful?

[@akowboysjourney9514]

Much love to you and your family 🌻🙏🤠

[@jillybeenz8699]

as well as you and yours😊 Thank you🙏🏾

[@louisdufour4106]

You have a great hold on life ! Glad you made peace with the Twelve Tribes time's. Hope you still have contact with your children and husband from then

[@jillybeenz8699]

My kids are with me! Always have been, always will be😊. My "husband" (I quoted that cause I never really knew him) is on his own, struggling with the same stuff as he always has. Just an unreliable dude.

[@Eurobunker]

This cam is so awesome as is your life!! At least your soul is in peace because you did it. I will be needing the experience whatever the cost so my soul can have peace with god

[@jillybeenz8699]

Yes. By all means do what you have to do. I am pretty tootin sure I'd have peace without joining the group (at least for less than 8 years 😂), but hey. It was what it was. Glad to pass on my experience. Hope you're getting value😊.

[@wayman29]

Very nice out on the water! I need to get out like this! It's been a long time since I kayaked!

[@jillybeenz8699]

I love being outside. A goal of mine is to move to a place with good weather year round (more or less). I'm getting over the bipolar nature of the state I'm living in 🤣. I love love love no walls😊👍

[@DelusionDispeller]

So, I think you are saying is you couldn't bear to beat your children. I'm so glad you had a conscience about that and left when you did. I'm sorry, but, although I understand the enjoyment of being in a commune, the abuses that went on toward children and others were just flat-out uncalled for and cruel.

[@jillybeenz8699]

Yes, it caused me to emotionally unattach from the pain I caused my children, which we will continually work on as well as establishing trust. A community is one thing, a cult is definitely different 😬.

[@DelusionDispeller]

@@jillybeenz8699 I understand I would have to dissociate in order to exact the sort of quote unquote discipline that the tribe demand be forced upon children and babies. I do remember a kind of similar past in which I lived with somebody that forced me to discipline my daughters in harsh ways and after we hit them with the PVC pipe on the bottom we told them "dry up" before we entered back into the church so nobody would know that they just got spanked. I always hated being in that position and also one time I was forced to pinch a little boy and also spank one of my daughters and I was told if I didn't do it the other person would do it to them so I faked it and told the kids to act like they were being quote unquote disciplined

[@_frangipani_]

Where did you live after you first left and how were you able to support yourself with the gap on your resume and no finances?

[@jillybeenz8699]

Hey☺️ Well it's kind of a long story. But I was dropped off at my parents house (who I was denying for 8 years😬). It was a rough go for a while, having three small kids. We miraculously found housing and got help from the government. I'm still trying to be self stable. With three kids, no help, and a good bit of trauma, it hasn't been easy. But it's getting better 🙏🏽

[@KevinBarryTV]

Love these videos Jilly Been! Thank you for sharing your experience. I relate to a lot of it. Many amazing people live there and I developed great relationships with them. But ultimately how the structure and authority is set up is very much about taking advantage of 'the sheep'. Also what camera do you use for these vlogs?

[@jillybeenz8699]

Yes, the people there are very kind and loving. And have a lot to say about your life once you've been in for a while 😜. Definitely some solid folks. That's exactly it, how the religion, "spirit", and beliefs are lived out are (in my perspective) very rigid and riddled with guilt and condemnation.

[@jillybeenz8699]

I'm using a Insta360 OneX2 👍😊

[@oliviagraham9798]

Hey there. Is it true that they promote a racist ideology? I find it interesting that I saw some members of color (black & asian)

[@jillybeenz8699]

It is true. There's a bunch of teachings on it. There's definitely a lot to it. They welcome everyone but there's a belief behind it all.

[@oliviagraham9798]

@@jillybeenz8699 that is so interesting. Thank you. Why do they welcome people of color?

[@Eurobunker]

Who is Holding the camera? Is it flying above water?!?

[@jillybeenz8699]

It is not. It's a 360 camera👍👍 Looks like it tho, huh?

[@geoffreybrooks5207]

Hey I am glad you are living life and doing well JillyBeenz! Thanks for sharing so much with us!

[@oneofthosewhowander]

Wait... do you have two kids or three? Also I saw you put "husband". Are marriage in the 12 Tribes not legal?

[@jillybeenz8699]

I have three kiddos. The marriage was legal, and so was the divorce. I quoted "husband" because I don't believe we never knew each other enough to have that label, in my opinion ☺️

[@waynemcauliffe2362]

Make your own tribe mate

[@jillybeenz8699]

Totally, right?? At least I'm hoping to find my tribe members! It all starts with the people!

[@waynemcauliffe2362]

@@jillybeenz8699 Hope you find a grand one

[@elizabethstantonstandupcomic]

Hey. So, I’ve watched all your vids. I just wondered. You have 3 kids, but your husband was forced to leave while you were pregnant with child 2. Is your third from him when you left and got back with him, or someone else? Did you divorce? Child support or visitation? Been trying to follow what happened after. I visit 12 tribes in Canada weekly. Terrible what happened with you. Feel free to DM me.

[@jillybeenz8699]

You nailed it, all three from him, the third when I was sent to get back with him. No child support, no visits, few phone calls. He's just not a responsible person 😕, barely for himself.

[@TraverseTravis]

Could you say what rule the “husband “ was repeatedly breaking? Was it substance use?

[@jillybeenz8699]

that's what it was😕