Do Not Answer This Person

Meet me at Insomnia Gaming Festival in Birmingham between the 29th - 31st March!
Enter my Insomnia Gaming Festival ticket giveaway HERE: bit.ly/i72-Pyr...
ring ring
Latest Podcast Ep: • We Interviewed Coffeez...
Twitter: / pyrocynical
Discord: / discord
Instagram: / pyrocynical
Main Channel: ‪@Pyrocynical‬
Podcast: ‪@TBHpodcast‬
VODS Channel: ‪@PyrocynicalTV‬
Editors:
Karma: ‪@KingOfKarma‬
SemperPie: ‪@semperpie‬

[@casuallilolme2485]

I think the best part of this is imagining a small child stealing their mom’s credit card just to use text to speech to say “hairline hobb”

[@jjcoola998]

Lmao so true And then I imagine the kid crossing his arms like "epic troll m8"

[@moltengears7483]

Okay but first time somone said it it was prettry funny lol. Anomaly feeds on bad hairlines

[@rusthog]

As I read this comment that TTS played, what are the odds.

[@WalterHL]

hairline hobb has got me laughing all day long

[@flxsemi]

Objectively speaking, the line itself isn't that funny. It's how Pyro reacts that feeds on the dono-trolling which is hilarious. It's a good business model tbh lol.

[@le-mon]

Timestamps: Start: 0:00 End: 2:48:02

[@Mufain]

thank u so much bro 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@tambrone]

Thank god, it can end

[@TheProAtPUBG]

Oh my gosh, thank you

[@rin_xia7099]

Thank you so much, you're the best!!

[@zan821]

IT ENDS??????

[@jollythejackalope]

Honestly analogue horror based around folktales is SUCH a good idea, I wish it'd be done more

[@marionettequintet1079]

why are you here

[@miniature030]

@@marionettequintet1079 just to suffer?

[@rusthog]

Have you found any in the last 2 months?

[@terrickovic]

iceland about to be lit with this seemingly vsh series

[@tacticaltacos3870]

@@miniature030cipher sent us to hell

[@darnheck2562]

me when i wanna watch pyro play a cool game and his hairline gets made fun of for 50% of the video

[@_Kuma_]

It gets so tiring 😩

[@koteshima6682]

yeah, it does get tiring, more so because this is actually a good analog horror game and I wanted to hear more of Pyro's thoughts rather than chat's hairline haha for the 100th time

[@TheSupremeMojoZ]

Let the man get his bread.

[@championzelda7088]

@@koteshima6682Exactly

[@championzelda7088]

@@TheSupremeMojoZHas nothing to do with it. He gets paid regardless. He can get paid without dragging shitty bits out

[@megasoma_elephas]

I hope pyro survives his dangerous journey to Birmingham. 🙏

[@Juan-f4x8i]

I think he will need a vehicle from mad max to survive there.

[@jjcoola998]

Zombie knives and musket balls flying everywhere

[@nickmacdonald5399]

I hope he doesn't

[@PuellaMagiHomuraAkemi]

I hope he can also learn how to stop acting and get a proper mic lol

[@HavingCrumpets]

he does have a proper mic, boohoo kid@@PuellaMagiHomuraAkemi

[@whoami784]

This is actually a good analog horror game. I hope more games like this will be made in the future

[@kingofsomething3250]

Isn't that digital horror?

[@mait4051]

There will definitely be plenty of copies and knockoffs of this game in the future

[@necrotafeio]

the hairline hob is truly terrifying

[@legospartan3.042]

Can't wait for a analog horror game that's all about pyro's hairline.

[@acanofswanuniversalgasligh9717]

Yeah I came to the comments to say this. I really like the lore and how it’s all set out in descriptions. Especially the false artefact saying you should use a memory wisp to speed up mourning.

[@hunts4209]

35:18 MOSES PARTED HAIRLINE

[@maglock1857]

Okay, that was a goated message 😂😅

[@therightknee3269]

I don’t like the bullying but that was ironically the best joke in the stream

[@H4L0GUY117]

@@therightknee3269 nah 6:15 best joke

[@WildlifeCrimsonFinch]

Like hairline jokes are really overrated but that one was really good

[@zboy1152]

That one was actually funny ngl

[@sebthederg5459]

Chat we need to start a gofundme to get this obscure streamer a decent stream mic

[@cumcumcum148]

Or reading lessons. Bad teeth and cellular growth bruh

[@stephenlong9806]

Is there a reason why he doesn't just use the same mic he uses in his videos?

[@remkovanderlaan9391]

​@@stephenlong9806 When he plays an old, low quality game, he changes his mic to an old, low quality mic

[@ripbraincells8534]

i still cannot stand the dogshit mic bit, i dont think it's ever made him more funny

[@nicknevco215]

he has one he does this as punishment

[@tadesubaru1383]

The editors did a fantastic job with this one. Unironically, good job to the editors, they went far and beyond for this video

[@1eprechaun14]

He's not gonna have sex with you buddy

[@ghostly_elly]

truly they had to sit through a pyro stream vod, by far the bravest thing one could do

[@Neftosklad]

Watching 3 hours of pyro must be ecsausting

[@tadesubaru1383]

@@ghostly_elly They had to bare every single hairline hobb joke. they are braver than any US marine

[@ghostly_elly]

@@tadesubaru1383 vererans of the hairline hobb war 😥

[@tadesubaru1383]

The house fire reveal at the very end is BRILLIANT comedic setup and payoff. Even if it was unintentional on chat and pyro's part

[@galanga21890]

things just work out so beautifully sometimes

[@trashpandatee]

OK, I cannot tell you enough how unprepared I was for that ending.

[@TheSozeone]

What the hell is what emoji I'm been trying to decipher this thing

[@pxder]

@TheSozeone it's a blue petscop man

[@LordFakeGodz]

@@TheSozeone it member icon i think, if you give this fart sniffer, inflation jerkers, cute lesbian youtuber some of your money through the Join button.

[@epicidex1006]

​@@pxderpetslop

[@buffmanjr11]

​@@TheSozeoneFake Pyro Fan fr fr

[@dudebot7255]

Man I love the part where he actually plays the fucking game instead of constantly malding at chat

[@BIGBOYGAMING03]

I love it when people harass and demean someone and then complain that they get called out so they get mad and comment on a video making it out that the streamer is the main problem.

[@mirrorhymn]

​@@BIGBOYGAMING03if he just ignored chat, chat would've just move on. chat likes it when pyro malds

[@ZeallustImmortal]

​​​@@BIGBOYGAMING03Hey head dent, maybe they arent the same people? Twitch chatters literally have nothing better to do than make the same joke a million times. The rest of us actually have things to do with our days, so when we get free time and decide to sit down and watch stream highlights its pretty annoying to see the same joke 100 times across different videos. Hell even from different channels, swear to god most streamers spend 50% of their stream malding at chat for calling them bald now. Its obnoxious. Its not even a in-joke, its every damn streamer. If he just ignored the unfunny joke, theyd stop saying it.

[@rememberthatiloveyou]

​@@BIGBOYGAMING03 glazing

[@jstar3382]

​@@BIGBOYGAMING03nah, it's on pyro. He plays it up tremendously because it gets him more money. If he didn't acknowledge the jokes they would end

[@akai8559]

best part of this video so far is at 45:54 when pyro says american houses are so affordable while ignoring that the game is set in 1996 😭 ITS NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE!!

[@vizzzyy190]

I WISH THEY WERE THAT AFFORDABLE 😭😭😭

[@ItzShigeko]

still are SUPER affordable compared to amsterdam

[@vizzzyy190]

@@ItzShigeko starter homes in my area are $450,000 USD. how bad is it in amsterdam????

[@ItzShigeko]

$975k usd for 1000 ish square feet @@vizzzyy190 (this is a pretty good deal for 1000 square feet apartment not just some shitty house i found on the internet)

[@redrhinoceros1996]

I was looking for this exact comment bro has no idea what he is reading is real

[@Senior_Drill_Sergeant]

Actual Timestamps: Monday: 6:46 Tuesday: 18:08 Wednesday: 48:06 Thursday: 1:19:25 Friday: 1:40:37 Saturday: 2:07:43 Sunday: 2:33:24

[@microwavable__]

I thought this was a joke comment until I realized that it was the different days in the game💀💀💀

[@sezmarkz]

No way binah from library of ruina

[@jstar3382]

The mice plot thread is really interesting. Failed employees and issues are turned into mice. The dude sending the emails was a mouse the whole time, and that's why the typing was so bad

[@datsephardicboi9358]

holy shit, that's why in his "they got me" email, there was an image of the cat!

[@arandom_stranger7272]

WAIT! Maybe thats why they brought in the cat to the office!

[@wintermelon2024]

I love how the ‘troll’ entity inflates itself perfect for pyro

[@devil238]

That ending was fucking great, it's kind of nice to see a happy ending to something analogue horror based instead of "THEN YOU GOT ATE BY THE MONSTER". It's also interesting that it turns out you're basically running a fae helpline run by the fae and most of the solutions are "just leave it alone" and not "buy a shotgun and give them both barrels medium style".

[@me-lz7jb]

Yeah for most of the game I was wondering, "90% of these problems could be solved with a shotgun". That actually makes sense though.

[@imaginative6315]

So glad that pyro is making 3 hour long slop vids. I'll surely watch all of it.

[@CasperTheRamKnight]

i did

[@John-li6sk]

I will

[@LoominousShroominous]

I do

[@21miku68]

I didn't

[@germerican2585]

i only just now realized how the game references Celtic myths all the time from the more overt to the subtle like the companies products being iron related

[@jstar3382]

Yeah, they sell a silver medallion, which sounds like it'd be useful, but reading closer you see that the iron chain is the only thing that'd have any effect. I don't remember if silver does anything in Celtic stuff

[@notsusanna7485]

I think that’s why the hiking guide also said to bring “an iron sword”

[@ToxicJelly9]

As soon as I saw the HSH company logo, I knew it'd have a Celtic theme

[@nurgleschosen8145]

Text: cellar growths Pyro: Cellular growths Amazing 10/10

[@ShwingFlam]

Metros Booming

[@poffusagi7073]

What I love about this game is that it's just riddle solving and it's based on fairy tale cryptids

[@D0S81]

we genuinly need a horror game where all the sound effects are done by Niall, but its not him making the noises. its just him going ''spooky face'' ''spooky noise'' ''spooky floor creak'' ''thunder crack''

[@arcanine_enjoyer]

And "le [insert trope here]"

[@D0S81]

''mason, the numbers are all in le head mason''@@arcanine_enjoyer

[@astrokori]

CaseOh and Pyro would always get bullied by their chat yet both reacts differently to the same joke over and over and its why i like both of them

[@infsm27]

Pyro will seethe for 2 minutes about his hairline and threaten the viewers with violence, while caseoh threatens to take a shit on the viewer's pillow.

[@elwiwi4638]

they both turn it into content in such drastically different ways, they should kiss

[@ZeallustImmortal]

Like them for overused annoying garbage ass jokes?

[@HavingCrumpets]

why are you here then, go watch something else, nobody's forcing you to stay here@@ZeallustImmortal

[@Jzero00]

@@elwiwi4638the amount to fat jokes being made would cause the internet to explode

[@SigmaFishyFN]

Not Pyro trying to hide the fact he is the fracture hob 💀

[@the_voices_wont_stop]

"10 hour timeout buddy"

[@extantknight6735]

*Harline Hobb

[@kalashio]

We don’t say that slur here. He is a hairline hobb

[@zzodysseuszz]

@@the_voices_wont_stop”I’m going to blacklist your name so you can’t dono again”

[@notsusanna7485]

Looks like he’d say “Eureka!”

[@KATinBLACK]

This is a faecore game disguised as analog horror and it suits Pyro very well. He’s like a literal fracture hobb 😍

[@maxstinkyfoot7366]

Or a mirror hobb, because he seems to forget how bad his hairline is

[@T3chAnalogy]

"Turn on homophobia" is the funniest thing Ive heard on PyroLIVE in years!

[@Kalder44]

I think the reason house prices are so good for the year 1996 is that many things require you to just pack up and leave... The ones beneath the soil are probably running a real state scheme.

[@Cryhai]

Jokes aside Pyro, I’m glad you do these playthrough videos and actually care about the lore. Even these multi-hour vids are really fun to sit down and actively watch

[@jxkub9461]

If i found out pyro was the one calling i wouldn't answer either

[@dumbdumi]

watching a stream vod without knowing its a vod feels like pyro is going schizo and screaming at himself to stop making hairline jokes

[@van_zacharias4568]

Forget analog horror, Pyros moldy gamersupps cup's the biggest household hazard

[@deadb0dyman]

he literally lives in the re7 baker house

[@jstar3382]

Dude he's got a whole homunculus growing in there

[@tobiasmattsson9285]

​@@deadb0dymanJack Baker hairline

[@limbobilbo8743]

I like a lot how its not “le spooky demons” and its not “le spooky aliens” its like the fae which is something that you dont see in analog horror much

[@KbayXD96]

Glad to see the orange cat made a full recovery after falling out that wheelchair

[@TheTheskylar404]

i love how the photo for bedbugs are actually stink bugs

[@WasabiTheInkling]

>analogue horror game >The setting is a computer

[@blazingbuizel7194]

There are very few people who would read a complaint about an infestation in a kitchen and have to actively rule out bedbugs

[@hondaaccord1399]

Pyro channeling his inner white woman, gaming the system for another coupon

[@xenosarcadius1198]

The low quality mic adds to the experience, truly an xbox 360 moment.

[@ominousbottleoflube]

Its funny as i was playing this game i thought to myself "i wonder how long a pyro slop vid would be on this game" the answer was 3 hours.

[@binguslad]

at 3:38 when he did the "jumpscare" with the squidgame song my browser crashed and i almost shat myself

[@acanofswanuniversalgasligh9717]

This is probably the most I’ve ever seen chat make pyro actually laugh

[@Lurdusaur]

Guys I got my pilots license today and I'm proud to say I landed my first commercial flight on pyro's forehead

[@Butter_Warrior99]

Pyro can’t escape the allegations. The allegations of his balding.

[@spes_marine-42]

"allegations"

[@CasperTheRamKnight]

cute pfp

[@KATinBLACK]

Corection: bald

[@RevenantNeverDies]

pyro after beating the fat fetish furry allegations (he is crazy and never beat the allegations)@@spes_marine-42

[@notsusanna7485]

“The keeps situation is insane”

[@hand_and_justin_entertainment]

39:05 Don't know if this was intentional or deliberate. Either way, I see there was music that wasn't part of KZbin's library, so all the money is going to one of them anyway.

[@theotv5522]

I'm so happy they made a KeemStar reference in this game in the form of the cockroach. I am so proud of the gaming community.

[@linkous101]

I just like how it’s a bunch of just weird creatures that are just normal in this world. The game doesn’t rely on jumpscares and isn’t really trying to scare you. I like the weird atmosphere

[@bf2man106]

"Got a 40 dollar uber ride between your hairline and eyebrows" was the funniest dono that pyro has recieved so far

[@LucasCarter2]

The fact that the ending is just you being promoted is genuinely fitting and perfect.

[@recordfumo]

You didn’t have to tell us, we already wouldn’t answer your number Pyro

[@yahmucc]

i think its crazy how pyros streams are 88% chat making fun of him 10% complaining about random shit & 2% actual stream

[@Hepheat75]

Only three seconds in and chat makes a hair joke. Strong start.

[@YasutoraSado1672]

Nah bro ain't Vegeta he's trunks 💀💀

[@Forkius_commander_of_forks]

I hope bob from accounting can help out with inflation and gas prices

[@yeahuhh1145]

The house fire burned pyro’s hairline

[@Jack-og4lu]

This is the only recently made pyrocynical vid I've laughed at in a long time. This video was so fire my house burnt down 🔥🔥🔥

[@Porkor23]

Thank you for destroying my evening Pyro

[@shexovehxnr284]

The haircut is absolutely insane, straight Bling Bling Boy

[@RaylinKHD]

The fact this as long as a main channel video

[@jstar3382]

"The fact" what? You can't just say the "fact that" and not explain why

[@notsusanna7485]

1:02:13 the nastiest part of this room is actually the long Johns silvers cup. Absolutely fucking RANCID seafood joint.

[@LulfsBloodbag]

The fact that Pyro listens to the entire call and the reads it out loud 5 seconds latter in its entirety.

[@hondaaccord1399]

Ey man, gotta prevent his reading comprehension from getting even worse

[@lil_sourdough5260]

33:58 pyro shows off his eighthead

[@CemeterySnow]

It’s over

[@ethanjackson1265]

If this were a main channel video: "The Best Phone Number you should NEVER Answer"

[@briarshine]

If you like old computer style games, I highly recommend Hypnospace Outlaw. It’s a bit of a horror game, but it’s really cool. These games are actually really similar

[@blakebean9266]

3:12 having watched the stream, seeing house fires as the first example is so funny

[@tonybishop3686]

I love that upon hearing about the creatures FOOTSTEPS bro confidently exclaimed "Ah, it's a slug!" I think Pyro's hairline is linked with his brain somehow.

[@MoskHotel]

Glad we're back with Pyro's ww2 radio headset.

[@goldenpengu]

literally australia simulator

[@baaspindakaas4680]

Pyro: my chat only has one bit Also pyro for years: ps5 no games guys

[@FinnGreenland]

The missing persons report was literally describing Charlie Brown lol

[@catuluj4385]

The prank guy who called was turned into a mice. Thats why you saw the intelligent mice saying "help me" on the science mystery vid, they were regular humans who got on the whatever's radar and got turned into mice, evidenced by him calling again and its just squeaking mouse noises

[@jstar3382]

Thats why they got an office cat

[@Parasyte316]

Remember kids if the noise in your attic goes eee er ee er that’s not a mouse that’s Roddy Ricch!

[@CormacTheFirst]

AT 48:34 I WAS PLAYING ULTRAKILL AND ONE OF THE SKELETON GUYS GRUNTED AT THE SAME TIME HE DID PYROSKELETON REAL

[@kronron4894]

where is my slop PYRO?! this aint slop. I NEED my slop. PYRO PLEASE

[@Kemuja]

The "Please Hold" music sounds like someone's sprinting on a catwalk.

[@countryofiremany3912]

Lol the hairline hobb bit got me rolling

[@aliteralbrick]

Average Pyro Stream: *pyro makes a joke* *pyro laughs* *chat makes the same joke* Pyro: 🤬🏠🔥

[@JoeThePun]

Thanks for the warning bro, i’m not gonna answer this guy

[@iluxa-4000]

Somebody is sneaking in at night to push back my hairline was a good one

[@arthas236]

Typical call center worker experience.

[@nocow4167]

Today I actually got an unknown call from someone that was 5 hours old when I woke up at 7 am. Which means the caller was doing it at around 2 am. I did a little searching online about this number and came up on some comments saying that when they called back all they could hear was "screaming and loud noises". Never did call back but it's a funny coincidence this video was uploaded on the same day. 😂

[@mrazbyte3150]

Shit like thay lowkey creepy tho.

[@SeanTheShinigami]

I don't even bother picking up numbers I don't recognize or don't already have in contacts. Too much annoying spam and all

[@Dahk]

Call them back at 3am tonight

[@FandyDandy]

Thank you for this masterpiece of slop 🙏

[@Loe7]

Concept of Hobbs and Boggarts is fuckin terrifying.

[@Izzyandmore123]

Hobbs sound awesome what are you on about? Feed them milk and they clean your house??? I’ll never need to deal with house maids again!

[@jstar3382]

This video gave me a nightmare. Mostly minor inconveniences, like a snail in the sink, but it was pretty scary. Especially the part when I was surrounded by giant spiders. I'm gonna blame that one on Helldivers tho

[@doomy_guy]

So happy that pyro is informing us to not answer him

[@BobtheJill]

Damn, the database didn't say what to do if you catch a Hairline Hobb trying to make a lets play...

[@agentcoxack7368]

“Hello?! There’s a horrific demon breaking down my door!” Pyro: “Sounds like some cold pipes, mate.”

[@mktt6639]

52:00 skibidi hobb (Worst hobb)

[@linoleal7207]

I laughed uncontrollably at this

[@thatcursedsibling29]

sigma hobb

[@chazzychizzle915]

The ringing phone sounds at a tritone interval as well to be scarier

[@Critter0817]

28:48 love the longmont potion castle reference

[@Minersteev]

as soon as i saw that part i scrolled down to see if anyone else made that connection

[@jorgehaswag7294]

Can we talk about how smart pyro is for figuring out that he can cover up his receding hairline by growing out his hair longer? Actually Genius

[@SussusAmogus-t4r]

thank god pyro made the announcement to no answer any of his phonecalls

[@nereiden5723]

when you just want to watch some slob on your day off and the call-sound sounds almost like your door bell agoraphopia ptsd kicking in everytime

[@carrythelabelguy4563]

Bro thinks American houses are affordable... Thats gotta be the funniest thing Pyro has EVER said.

[@ToxicJelly9]

They're more affordable than UK houses by comparison

[@jarlbalgruufthegreater1758]

The hairline trolling made me howling 😂😂

[@natto4now]

Pyros shitty mic really makes it scarier

[@ToxicJelly9]

It isn't scary at all tho lol

[@regret3311]

first 5 seconds is the most truthful statement that I've ever heard

[@arutezza]

watching pyro get unreasonably angry about the hairline jokes is so hilarious

[@wildfiregaming2717]

This video is a house fire with frozen pipes frfr 🔥🔥🔥

[@warhammer40k19]

I like how in this game half of the course is like hey those last few months I have been sleeping properly the water it tastes better than ever and my house is clean all the time can you please come and fix it

[@Greyspecies9999]

pyro sneakin' that sonic R ost 2 mins in the vid, i respect that

[@notyaunzzz]

"it is crazy how affordable US houses are" those are 1996 prices, go ahead and double everything.

[@Progr_ammer]

😭😭😭