Do Not Watch This Episode | The Yard

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This week, the boys talk about what would happen if they recorded a terrible episode, which pro-games match to professional sports, and how Ludwig and Slime had an argument over Valorant LIVE... (Episode 125)
audio listeners hear us first:
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✨bonus content✨
✌ Patreon: / theyard
⌛ Clips: / @theyardclips
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✨follow the boys✨
The Yard: / theyard
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Nick: / falco
Slime: / slime_machine
Aiden: / aidencalvin
Edited by archie: / archiemcw
00:00:00 - intro
00:00:28 - kissinger pack
00:01:30 - welcome back to the yard
00:01:50 - morning podcasts
00:02:15 - ludwig doesn't want to play valorant with aiden
00:03:21 - our DnD session
00:04:19 - we had a fight
00:07:16 - the boosting allegations
00:09:03 - slime's calendar has been hacked
00:09:50 - QT's assistant is better at valorant than all of us
00:11:50 - slime & ludwig talk about their valorant match
00:13:20 - comms
00:15:15 - slime has been boxing
00:18:12 - each of our roles on the podcast
00:19:05 - slime's coach is just like him
00:21:05 - the boys yell at otto for a bit
00:21:50 - slime hasn't been taking care of his son
00:27:40 - g2 carlos
00:28:30 - Manscaped!
00:31:04 - the digiorno fleece
00:31:54 - we went on fear&
00:34:02 - what would happen if we recorded a terrible episode?
00:35:50 - podcast drafting season and swapping out podcast members
00:37:01 - 'the nick'
00:38:50 - COD brought back game chat
00:40:16 - crime or cringe?
00:45:20 - nick's result in the COD tournament
00:47:13 - 'inhuman reactions by aiden calvin'
00:48:11 - Factor!
00:50:13 - aiden got owned in a melee match
00:51:10 - slime went 0-2
00:52:25 - lethal company
00:53:49 - guy infiltrates a guild and gets them all killed...
00:56:14 - the yard plays lethal company
00:56:52 - who is the biggest guy you'd fight for your girlfriend?
01:01:07 - meundies!
01:03:39 - nick is addicted to COD
01:04:44 - ludwig nearly worked for CMG
01:06:45 - the streets are saying nicks team cheated
01:09:18 - nadeshots chat
01:09:59 - playing with scump
01:12:29 - COD players are the baseball players of esports
01:14:02 - matching esports to each sport
01:15:41 - biggest sports in the world
01:16:34 - babe ruth
01:18:20 - google sucks now
01:20:17 - mythbustrs hole
01:23:30 - how ludwig leaked slimes balls
01:30:58 - thanks for watching
The Yard is a show hosted by Ludwig, Nick, Slime, and Aiden.
#theyard #podcast

[@thea_jpeg]

bro. aiden in an older video talked about how crazy it was that henry kissinger was still alive AND SLIME DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE WAS

[@smokedpenguin367]

LMFAOOO i forgot about that that's hilarious

[@idk-mg9rh]

he cant keep getting away with it

[@mediumchicago_pizza]

hahahahahaha get owned slime

[@SirGrimothy]

do you have the link?

[@ricochico1144]

Slime is an unholy beast fed with the blood of humanity's lies

[@foxboi506]

I was waiting for Nick to say “I’m Henry Kissing-girls” and I’m sad it didn’t happen

[@chair6451]

Nah it’s Henry Kissin-her everyone know this

[@thakillah301]

Call me Henry the way im Kissin-her big naturals

[@thakillah301]

Babe Ruths

[@DegenerateArtExpress]

​@@thakillah301babe.. ruths...

[@RyanWu_]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@chair6451That’s the thing about Nick, he doesn’t subscribe to societal expectations. It’s that fucked up weird dark beautiful mind of his.

[@denniscallahan261]

I'm so glad the yard boys agreed that incest is, in fact, a crime (and therefore cannot be cringe)

[@dennis_s]

i dont...uhh...

[@summersardines]

1:19:30 my favorite yard bits are the ones where the joke is so good that aiden starts chuckling really hard to himself and occasionally tries to add something but he just can't get through it because of how funny he finds the concept

[@FirePuff12]

50:14 that’s me!! This crew is the reason I’m known in Smash ROFL ❤️‍🔥

[@1flashfire]

Let's go firepuff 🔥

[@squillz8310]

1:05:40 This was my favorite moment of the podcast. I *LOVE* when one of the guys says something that stops everyone else dead in their tracks. Pure Gold.

[@Kingbimmy]

I was like 10 mins away from the timestamp, and I was eagerly waiting. Did NOT disappoint 🤣

[@squillz8310]

@@Kingbimmy glad to hear lmfao. I love when that happens to me

[@Keanpoop]

It feels so surreal to see Nick escalate from making fun of Juvey to casually 3-0'ing Nadeshot in tournament

[@antlerbraum2881]

I don’t know what any of these words mean, help

[@frankpizza1596]

​@@antlerbraum2881 bro doesnt speak video games

[@smokedsnails6511]

​@@frankpizza1596 or english apparently

[@corrupteddaydreamer4685]

​@@smokedsnails6511these words aren't in the Bible so

[@antlerbraum2881]

@@smokedsnails6511 Bro if you showed someone who isn't a shut-in the word "nadeshot" they would have an aneurysm.

[@eviejoy_]

crazy how weve watched ludwig get a nicotine addiction in real time

[@user-ku9xq1pt6l]

If you think that's crazy Google "big boobs"

[@aidansmith22]

yup i’m adding him having a nicotine addiction to my Yard 2024 Bingo card

[@fletcher8263]

yardigans if you are reading this ludwig will DIE in 2 days of nicotine. he has not stopped smoking a pack a day since france and he is RAPIDLY approaching death and once he passes the boys will harvest his charred lungs and eat it like fois gras

[@jasonjavelin]

Hearing the announcers yell one of your friends names when it’s not him in a comp match is so damn funny to me

[@MaxPowersUK]

Its funny because they normally want us to watch the episode. The Yard raises the bar for comedy once again.

[@Chillwillkills]

The reverse psychology really working on me

[@TheLargestRat]

Same, I frame one clicked it

[@damongreen5335]

yup same!

[@xKrypto98x]

Not me :)

[@austi]

yeah i be chainsmoking ciggies all day it's great

[@robcaboose510]

Them teasing dnd is killing me. I hope they do at least one video of them playing through a sesh

[@heretic2486]

I need it now

[@KrisMoody-wz8zl]

Agreed

[@jenamm0]

are they gonna be on patreon only?

[@Raven-ml2iz]

prob@@jenamm0

[@Josh-jr5oi]

Ok I've heard it a few times, I was wondering if it was out yet

[@whoswho22]

I love Aiden's "hmm?" everytime someone says something he doesn't want to acknowledge because I do the same thing when I say fucked up shit and someone calls me on it

[@eon993]

as someone who doesnt play valo or watch it usually i think the valo talk is fine, its pretty easy to grasp and as long as the convo hasnt been played out 100 times the vibes are still good

[@Scarbuckks]

The “I need to get to DIAMOND in ONE HOUR or I KILL MYSELF” stream is gonna go crazy

[@wumbojet]

To all my fellow zoomers that might not know why Kissinger is probably the worst monster in recent history, look up Behind the Bastard's 6 part series on all the monstrous things Kissinger did in his life, you're going to think it's imposible for a person to deserve hell more than him and you'll realize that you're not even at episode 4.

[@ianhi9572]

Sounds like a cool dude

[@twentypence9163]

​@@ianhi9572your pretty funny we should kiss ngl

[@TearsOfThem]

@@ianhi9572cringe

[@unleashtheox7106]

What a wild cross over having a combo of BTB and the Yard. Respect

[@d0onut]

Btb on Slime

[@sunnyd1722]

The Yard plays Lethal Company would kick ass

[@TecoTac101]

Havent watched any of the lethal streams but if it was with the boys id 100% watch

[@bryannov9068]

the funny thing about that wow story is how planned out the griefer was. hardcore at that time was a self imposed rule and apparently a lot of people in that guild didn’t strictly follow the rules which made the griefer mad. he waited until the last raid in wow on the one fight where he could kill as many people as possible. he killed himself and 36 or 37 other players. later in an interview he said it was “Judgement Day”

[@sunnyd1722]

I love it when Slime will rail on humanity except when it comes to playing competitive. Then he doesn’t want to chirp.

[@christopherbraxton6738]

It’s our episode. We’re taking it back. The viewers will rise again.

[@TwistInMC]

Did not expect to hear a Bloody Nine reference on this podcast, that took me aback for a second

[@jasonbrady4894]

Please dear god can you explain it or enlighten me with some context i’ve been searching the comments for somebody who understands and i think it might just be you

[@TwistInMC]

@@jasonbrady4894 the bloody nine is the berserker alter ego of a character Logan Ninefingers from a fantasy book series called the First Law trilogy. Basically he is a psychopath killing machine, so I think that is what Slime is trying to go for.

[@GeffenMetzger]

I was pleasantly surprised to hear Slime mention one of my favorite book characters. If he brings up Sevro Barca in the next episode he'll solidify his spot as my goat

[@jasonbrady4894]

@@TwistInMC gotcha gotcha, thank you! i see the connection

[@Scamspam]

Came to the comments for this.

[@heretic2486]

God I just want the D&D episodes already

[@corcra_.]

Yeah did they say they streamed it??

[@vesty00]

@@corcra_.I’m leaving a reply here in case you get an answer:)

[@Gamer-bm5ye]

​@@vesty00it's coming soon!! Around Christmas, just not sure if it's patreon exclusive

[@kaspalto8503]

Nick is the best sexist of all time.

[@MrShinjiTabris]

he's so good at it

[@enchiladaslayer61]

Its not even bad that they had 3 sponsor segments because they're so electric with it

[@_Foxx]

the fear& bit is just so spot on

[@MyNameIsNyx]

we need clay, scump AND hitch on the pod to complete the nick cod era sidequest.

[@taylifts]

I like the Valorant talks personally bc it's the only Ludwig content i don't watch so it always feels fresh and new lol

[@TheoHiggins]

I don't watch any Ludwig content so it's all fresh to me 😎😎😎👍

[@jebb360]

Valorant talks are absolute snoozers

[@Phrate]

@@jebb360 same with Smash

[@velvetyclips6558]

the Will Neff impressions never get old man, wtf.

[@Cruzzzie]

Hey guys I’m 16 and I think I’m gonna try cigarettes because of The Yard!

[@hammydude]

I come from the TST community and I have been watching the yard for a while so seeing Nick play in that tournament was so hype. Much love guys. ❤

[@drummerofawe]

Was not expecting a reference to the First Law by Joe Abercrombie in this week's episode of the yard

[@renihs]

🎉my favorite time of the week🎉

[@illyForeverEarly]

that's the best bait into premium ep ever now i really wanna watch it

[@FaceSigma]

Slime out here making fucking First Law references is the deep cut nerd shit I'm still on the internet for.

[@NolenJacobson]

1:16:00 as a fellow Canadian I can say without a doubt that Aiden is sniffing glue. It's not ice hockey that's the third biggest sport, it's field hockey. Ice hockey is small time and only Canada and Finland love it while field hockey is huge in Europe and Asia, especially so in India.

[@Redrum2445]

For the record, while nick aiden and slime don't have the sykkuno numbers, I would click a yard lethal company stream instantly.

[@DreamtOf]

I still to this day love a good ol bloody9 stream at 4am. Crosswords and dotes

[@iancurtismybeloved]

Finally love u guys 💞💞

[@chorkentar]

NA is actually very strong in hockey. As a Canadian I felt this needed to be said.

[@XILEGh0sT]

Nick CRUSHED these ad reads lmao

[@cortnybe]

I cannot wait until the end of the year best moments of 2023 of the yard video (:

[@goatedwiththesauce3898]

Bro slimes “shut up” to nick at 15:52 is hilarious

[@garytuttle8753]

Slime with the First Law reference, love that series!

[@MrHellmeowmix]

Fuck I cannot wait to see the dnd sessions

[@henryjedynak45]

Do you know where they will be posted?

[@Scamspam]

1:08:17 Did not expect to hear a First Law reference on the Yard.

[@patrickmorrison7161]

couldn't resist watching this episode im sorry

[@zikan123]

That bloody9 comment was so spot on

[@Tribal260]

always appreciate the timestamps

[@dogthrower]

cup stacking and sudoku might have been the funniest thing i have ever heard

[@sheradynlee768]

Have they posted the campaign yet? I’ve been looking everywhere for updates

[@mrparadise1822]

Riding my bike to work at 5am hearing "I really don't wanna be up rn" spoke to my soul this morning

[@chrispified]

so excited for the weekly subreddit rant on the yarn boys unanimous support of cigarette use

[@John-pp6xy]

after watching the bro vs bro with tina, feel like she’d be so fuckin funny with you guys

[@aleccooper9350]

Love the first law reference from slime

[@MaybeLouie]

Slime could make his own podcast called whine about it

[@FeintMotion]

Nick decided to be the delivery he wanted to see in the world

[@nerdbot2.025]

The slop is even better when it’s forbidden!!!

[@owenfitzgerald5928]

The soccer talk is always insane in this pod

[@teighttt]

I love that Nick called Gollum in LOtR Golem 😂

[@autumnchiu]

im out of the loop, is DnD up anywhere already, or is it shot and will be edited and uploaded soon? is it gonna be on the patreon or elsewhere?

[@johnnysweatpants3148]

Bro... the "Bloody Nine" reference... Subscribed..

[@mattgron6913]

it's so sad that the Hasan episode was just before Henry Kissinger died

[@josephinefiley9260]

As a female Val player, there is a lot of sexism still in the community, especially in unrateds. However in my experience it has gotten a lot better over the last year or so.

[@gunnertrash4946]

If you wanna know where Heard came from, it’s a habit instilled but particular fast food services, a boom that taught the discipline of that style of communication and organization that inspired those fast food spots is called “4 Second Lean”

[@gunnertrash4946]

Book*

[@Maria_745]

Yard boys dogging on Fear& as if they are not both 4 person podcasts about absolutely nothing

[@smallj900]

I know right, saying fear & audience would eat any slop as if we wouldn’t consume as much yard slop as we can

[@nyxx7813]

@ 5:32 im so sad the vods like gone, i want to see the jaja

[@zalyspeace]

42:09 SLIME!!! out of pocket clip of the year! 😭

[@nepo884]

Bricked up in the roof the mouth bit 😭 lmao

[@jawesomenw]

i jus spit out so much water when sliime said "you would brick into the roof of my mouth"

[@TearsOfThem]

Is there more ad reads this episode or am I just just forgetting how other episodes are

[@NoxyTree]

i fucking love you guys, tysm for the content, yall make me laugh so much

[@_Foxx]

banger ep

[@Blooplz]

I've watched every ep since 1, and the ads just dont miss bro. I've never skipped an ad from the yard in my life

[@lrgogo1517]

That Faker vid sounds insane, link?

[@RiusXIV]

about the valorant ping spiking, im having the same issue and its only when i start streaming and i use 2 separate pcs to stream and i have no clue what it is, i reckon its just that valo requires so much more bandwith or w/e, sucks

[@fore5489]

logen ninefingers reference is crazy, i see u slime

[@dannymedge]

Is there somewhere to watch them play dnd that I missed? Seems like a good time

[@Ethereal_Phoenix_]

The "Hockey is number 3" segment is so funny, they found the one version of the list that didn't specify it was about Field Hockey. Ice hockey doesn't crack top 15.

[@Billary]

at first I read the exclamation point beside Manscaped as the letter "i", and in my head I read it with an Italian accent as Man-scapedi

[@jacobwolfe6245]

Why is the yard just a background noise for my goon sesh

[@Daniel-uv1fq]

I am going to watch this episode

[@nickadams4167]

New title is way better than the audio version’s title.

[@flameninja_]

At 21:08 I was literally playing Oldschool Runescape so it felt like they were talking to me XD

[@naprimjer6593]

The Bloody nine comparison is actually kinda on point

[@marcusapodaca2069]

Logan ninefingers reference was not expected

[@tabtab03]

Thanks for making my ride home from uni more funny

[@austinmaile4547]

Ludwig: All they talk about is that Austinshow is gay Also Ludwig: we should replace Aiden with Austin so we have someone who is more gay

[@720p30fps]

15:20 Our friend Josh is SUPER funny 😄

[@MontyandBandit]

not slime referencing the bloody nine 😂

[@nobodycares5673]

That's crazy, I ran into breakfast on ranked just like 2 days ago, didn't know anything about them until you guys mention them on the podcast. (I won of course, me good fox player)

[@Akina_TTV]

hockey covers field hockey and ice hockey so its massive

[@redboot3911]

zamn the DiGiorno coverall is fire

[@owenfitzgerald5928]

Only the yard and jay foreman ads actually make me want the products

[@Ishsa]

Hasan in the thumbnail: I sleep Slime in the thumbnail, combative title: fastest click of my life

[@TGDPleaseDontLaugh]

Please play Lethal Company together. Make a video of it or not, the podcast after will be amazing

[@zants_]

0:13 "taco sauce" just makes me want a Tacoma more

[@LucidProtean]

I actually thought about what Slime was talking about in the beginning about Henry Kissingers death. He said someone similar about the Queen's death, and I realized I didn't know enough and didn't wanna be cringe by making jokes and bandwagoning, just acknowledging that it's pretty cool considering what everyone has said in his wake

[@hdtvgmv]

Rip dnd sessions

[@cyberjeeb]

ID LOVE TO SEE YARD LETHAL COMPANY