You Should NEVER Pee in This Spot. Here’s Why. | The Yard

[@awesomejob2022]

I find it so unexpectedly wholesome how every dozen episodes slime discovers some new stan culture word or phrase and then proceeds to confidently misuse it at any opportunity he can find.

[@jaredcostello9782]

Slime is so mother for that bestie

[@traskforge]

@@jaredcostello9782 swag out

[@jestermaxxed]

he's using it 100% correctly, he absolutely is mother

[@grd3656]

0 00

[@sammy8796]

hes such an old man its great

[@NeujeuKonnen]

"I think having sex with Slime is worse then crack addiction" - Falco, Nick - 2023

[@Frredo]

Than* but we get it still

[@computermash8542]

Aiden is mother by process of elimination but I think Slime has the most potential for mother-related camp.

[@starfai]

agreed

[@lilachicky]

exactly

[@braedenwillingham855]

Don’t know what any of these words mean but speak your truth bro

[@whydidytaddthis]

@@braedenwillingham855 A true ally

[@HeyLeFay]

If Slime was also bisexual he'd be more mother than Aiden.

[@ninin11]

ludwig complaining about sexual harassment with slime and nick one minute and the next bullying nick into swallowing a drink from a crack pipe was beautiful

[@houstonhicks6176]

I love that the recent ad reads are them trying to get slime to read whatever he’s supposed to, and slime is just being a creative genius.

[@Bighomie39]

Slime is the biggest contributor to the pod's individuality, and nothing proves it more than the ad reads

[@QuinnMiller]

​@@Bighomie39 slime doesn't carry the podcast, it's definitely shared well among the group, however slime *is* like the centerboard of their boat

[@Bighomie39]

@@QuinnMiller he doesn't carry, but he's the best member. Personally, my ranking is Slime>Aiden>Lud>Nick

[@SireLeone]

Slime declaring himself as mother is insane. Lud is right, if ANYONE is mother it’s Aiden. Serving looks, always. The pink hair is giving Super Bass but ft Eminem.

[@appalled29]

AND if we consult the 3rd volume of Slime's Valorant Digest (kzbin.info/www/bejne/hpzJXoWEbpKSf80), he IS Marshall Mathers (around the 10m30s mark).

[@sssydneyfree]

ABSOLUTELY

[@cameronharvey4746]

I think Aiden is clearly babygirl he doesnt have the power hes too weak.

[@sipbil1057]

​@@cameronharvey4746 I'm with you on this one. he's certainly serving but he's not mother. If anyone's mother it's Nick.

[@spookyblack215]

Aiden is also a milf compared to them all, so lovable 😂

[@sarahcarroll1068]

crazy episode for the 3% of female listeners- the peeing talk just went straight over my head

[@crapple329]

i skipped half of this episode lol

[@Bighomie39]

​@crapple329 my fellow Yardigan friend told me this is a B tier episode and he was dead on

[@taelib1425]

@@Bighomie39 no shot, clearly a P tier episode

[@amosbilodeau8003]

​@@Bighomie39 nah this ep was pretty good

[@sniperplum47i8]

@@Bighomie39 every ep is so similar to me. Except for ones where someone is missing or the tier list ep

[@gabk1400]

Insane that Ludwig thinks he won the Monaco argument when multiple geographers in the yard discord confirmed that Aiden was right

[@goodgoshzilla]

Incredible to learn that there are *multiple geographers* in the yard discord

[@Christopher_Cole]

17:00 Ludwig was actually 100% correct but misunderstood what “phishing” is. Phishing is the delivery method for malware, and malware is the attack itself. Linus had a spear phishing (targeted phishing) email that was loaded with malware that stole their “cookies” (simplified version). They used the “cookies” to trick KZbin into gaining access to accounts without needing a password or two-factor code. Ludwig was very accurate and shouted out the Linus details that went into specifics of the situation. Great journalist!

[@mediumchicago_pizza]

ah yes i am also studying for my security +

[@kirbyusbwarmer]

@@mediumchicago_pizza defcon yard meetup

[@ian562ADF52E]

​​@@mediumchicago_pizzaLMFAO (I test for the cysa in 2 days)

[@thecongadrums]

Theres a DNA test where they can mathematically figure out which pair would have the best sex in a group. I feel like slime could benefit from this knowledge

[@ryanbell6545]

I watched this episode right after watching the last episode, and so far, it is quite literally a continue conversation from the last podcast which I find is absolutely wild. It’s like a week didn’t happen for them this is awesome

[@SKULLKR3W]

Nick spilling his drink on himself is so funny

[@theminecraft4202]

effortlessly funny even

[@burrsoup]

time stamp?

[@mbabaneamputee7725]

My perosis story for you Slime: when I was 17 I was charged with usage of marijuana. The cops found 2 grams on my floorboards. I had 6 months of probation and a big ole fine. Every 2 weeks they’d call me in for a piss test. I stopped smoking but had suuch a hard pissing in that cup with the old dude staring over my shoulder. I’d come in bursting at the seams and it would take me 5 trips to the bathroom sometimes. When the stream would finally start I could’ve filled 3 cups.

[@lilyuckyboi5802]

same thing. i had to get my lawyer to convince them to allow blood testing because i sat at the courthouse for 3 days and couldnt piss with old man probation officer staring at me.

[@DuringDark]

I hope you peed all over the outside of the -cop- cup for good measure

[@kibblesnbits3174]

@@lilyuckyboi5802 Lol This was me in the Marine Corps 😂 We do random piss tests and my last unit did them almost every week but I've always been piss-shy. So it usually led with me drinking more than a gallon of water, timing the test perfectly so that the line is long enough that I have to piss, but not too long that it'll hurt too much. Worse times ever haha

[@nyxx7813]

@@kibblesnbits3174 how many marines did you know on gear? jus curious cause gear is poppin off with the reserves (no suprise there just a bunch of heated angry wanna be soldiers just sitting on the sidelines stacking roid rage.) you all lick the same rubber to me so. You like ever commited hate crimes in the barracks or did hate crimes get committed onto you

[@kibblesnbits3174]

@@nyxx7813 what? No hate crimes from what I experienced in 8 years. Plenty of barracks fights but that’s idiot young adults being drunk. As for deployments I did know a good amount of guys who were taking some sort of gear and then they stopped when they came back. That being said we were in deployments where we needed to perform. I never took PEDs but I don’t really blame people that did. It’s their body

[@angrypenguin8]

absolutely loving aimens tomato hair this week. keep it up king

[@samuelkitching5880]

I have NEVER heard ANYONE talk about the piss bubbles. My game when I was a little lad was I imagined the bubbles as money and Mr. Krabs was happy when I made all the bubbles but then I always tried to pop as many of the bubbles, which infuriated him.kind of as a two phase game where i had to feel out halfway through my piss.

[@KJuan]

No chance anyone gets this info out of me

[@slimewire]

this is based

[@samuelkitching5880]

@@slimewire you’re based ❤️

[@samuelkitching5880]

@@slimewire lmk if you need a new metal guy. I got some connects in the copper industry

[@bluewuppo]

i reread this 5 times and still am lost. what does this mean

[@tersecwalsingham5778]

Very good episode. This podcast makes me laugh like nothing else. The chemistry and the constant 'yes, and..' mentality is so good and so natural. Aimen is mother.

[@BluePlaysGames]

Lud still not being able to hold that L from the last episode is hilarious.

[@breeziemcfreezie]

Slime's comment about Aiden having a baby toilet still may be one of the funniest and puzzlingly accurate things I've heard him say. He's so right and I have no idea why

[@Juice_plz]

aiden gets funnier every episode i think

[@louisdesy310]

can't wait for the yard bevvies called "Mogul Malt", "Slime Soda", and the bevvy marketed to the military "Nick Napalm"

[@OrcaSir]

Mogul ale perhaps?

[@bridgerparker4275]

​@@OrcaSiraimen ale

[@TheMyrrdinEmrys]

Mother is a term from drag/ballroom culture and it usually refers to the queen that takes you under her wing and mentors you. If there is a house system in your area, it will usually have a drag mother. When used casually to describe someone it can mean powerful, imposing, nurturing, iconic. So in short, none of y'all are Mother

[@astralseason7608]

thank god someone actually explained this

[@mediumchicago_pizza]

lud pretty iconic, he kinda mother

[@gwen6622]

that's not how stan twitter uses it though, it's basically the same as just calling a handsome older man "daddy", especially a celebrity. i'm not saying you're wrong about that term, but what you're saying is a different use that is unrelated in origin

[@chancemoran4324]

@@gwen6622 not exactly unrelated in origin, more so an extension/evolution of the use of the word

[@gwen6622]

@@chancemoran4324 well no, i dont think so. both uses come from the english word "mother" which means a female parent, of course. they both come from that, but are separate.

[@amandalouise5716]

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SMELL CAR SEATS" 😂😂😂 OMFG NICK

[@shadowslam947]

Been real sick this week, listening to a lot of old Yard eps so very happy to see a new one. Thanks Aimen.

[@hatake1141]

noteb r😅

[@danielisraeli4613]

Slime with new hard evidence of him being a true genius 44:27 really proves his genius can't be beaten by any other member of the yard. Slime is truly the one true god of both the world and the podcast since there is no one that can come up with such solid reasoning

[@urponator3399]

Don't they debate the dumbest topics ever like, every episode 😂

[@RoyTheCyclops]

there was a premium episode where they spent 40 minutes arguing about donuts, so yes definitely.

[@cuddr710]

Now youre catching on

[@totep4877]

@@RoyTheCyclops thats still my fav yard ep to day

[@Tweak-uwu]

@@RoyTheCyclops you mean the one where aimen gamen was calling a croissant a donut

[@haydent.7884]

@@RoyTheCyclops which primo is that?

[@playapiano666]

I gotta respect Ludwig's commitment to trying to sound right even when he's wrong on every level.

[@Saket_Roy]

This episode was so good, I mean Aiden's head was literally on fire.

[@crazytexan711]

Nick's "are you fucking kidding me" got me so bad

[@Aru_Violet354]

I had shy bladder syndrome in middle and high school. I could have a painfully full bladder and still not be able to pee from someone being in there or the fear of someone coming in, I’d have to sit there for 15 minutes to even get something out. It improved in high school because I was able to go during classes or just when I knew nobody would be there, but even then it was hard. I had to wait for the last possible second so that I didn’t spend too much time, and so I got really good at holding it for hours and hours. It’s really weird because even if you don’t feel actual anxiety at the time it may still just not come out. In really desperate situations I found that sometimes giving yourself a pep talk and really really focusing on it while pressing under your stomach so you aren’t thinking about other people helped get at least some out.

[@Phale]

When they were taking about how Aiden still uses his training potty at 1:09:27 I was imagining him sitting down on it looking like Waluigi in Mario Kart... Like a lil grasshopper

[@IamLcky]

It's insane that Aimen is the only person who uses a urinal right

[@gabrielhicks8043]

I have no idea how the others are getting splashback. I don't even aim, I just stand super close and just let it droop and that works fine, are they standing like 3 feet away or something?

[@bbl69420]

@@gabrielhicks8043 You have a weak ass stream my dude.

[@TheBlueCray0nIsBlue]

@@gabrielhicks8043tf wrong with you your piss just drips out

[@ralual]

Getting hit with a happy upbeat ad IMMEDIATELY after 1:20:10 "no she drowned" is BEST comedic timing ever

[@Abdul-w1f]

Nick went crazy this episode 80% of what he said made me laugh.

[@DawnSRC]

They’re finally discussing the most important topic, thank god.

[@bunniey3290]

The Yard is the only podcast I can't skip past the ads, just too good. sponsors truly getting their moneys worth

[@DeepMeaningfulName883]

40 seconds in, their best ep yet

[@zook2036]

"it's giving ate" will forever be one of my favorite quotes from the pod

[@nscion7880]

Thanks to the sponsors for allowing entertaining ad spots that I actually watch.

[@TinyTim_TV]

24:22 You would not believe your eyes, if you saw nicks thunder thighs

[@SpookyPandaBoi]

I love that at the very end of the Factor read ( 1:05:00 ) you can faintly hear what sounds like "It was bad" coming from Zipper. I'm not 100% sure but if it is, ZIpper needs a mic so he can chime in every once in a while cause that was funny. Even Zipper was clowning on Slime's freestyle.

[@graindeath]

i have no evidence for this but i feel like it was aiden stretching away from the mic and saying it

[@storm_osrs]

Still waiting for Nick to explain why zipper 2 thought slime is cringe

[@Marlborojr]

That ending was both insane and an Aimen W

[@SkateboardGee]

@44:26 is the reason why this podcast is my favorite podcast lmfao! Who in the hell would end up where Slime ended up going?!? Lol it was factual then just goes in the funniest direction 😂

[@themillenniumshadow]

does ludwig just never hear what aidens actually saying i swear to god he repeats the same point but slower and everytime ludwig just suprise pikachu faces and goes "thats not what you said" LMAO its too funny

[@RobaGuy]

Love this ep, watched the whole thing

[@TheGoldenPorsches]

To be honest I felt so reassured when lud talked bout shitting sitting directly on the porcelain. I love it this way, and I'll never change. Keep on!

[@IansPoorChoices]

Oh my lord lud is insane for sitting on the porcelain

[@nblmelon]

As someone who has never stood to piss, I learned so much this episode.

[@Baileemariiee]

i actually laughed so hard at slime asking if he’s mother 😭 43:25

[@treeseasontree1043]

just to clarify something and nothing against the boys i just want to tell everyone where the term mother comes from. it’s apart of ballroom culture and black queer culture. the term mother refers to the mother of a house in a ballroom setting and calling something “mother” started there. house mothers are chosen members of the houses who represent and sort of mentor them. it was just recently picked up by stan culture this past year but has been around for decades. if anything here is wrong feel free to correct me!

[@brodywubs]

My pee shyness is the worst and most inconvenient when I'm out at a concert or club, it's so embarrassing not being able to go while others are peeing laps around me

[@hdawgboo]

Nothings changed.. I love it

[@fletcher8263]

aiden hits the random character customization button every ep

[@handsum6676]

aiden should do a Gekko cosplay

[@valen5188]

wait that's perfect

[@bluewuppo]

and slime would be his little wingman

[@xmhcix5310]

the mothering segment and the continuation of it later literally had me cracking up. i listened to this ep on audio first but it's so much funnier watching it

[@DimitriWithLemon]

Aimen's last joke of the pod was great 😂 My hero 🍁

[@TheFabledOtaku]

Something about ludwig saying "Mogul Mails cooking" never ceases to make me laugh a little.

[@kraztar]

Slime is actually so relatable that story abt making the most bubbles, my man

[@awakerdegree2664]

FYI people have done market manipulation with skins or other things on steam,. Steam has internal alerts to sketchy actions that resemble market manipulation and will review it and potential suspend/ban you from the platform

[@theesalad]

Yard is thee goat, love the content

[@lllBarneslll]

Nick is 1000% right about the pissing on porcelain thing. Pissing in the silent zone causes unseen floor and shower curtain splash back. Aiden and the other two are crazy for that

[@parkerj5716]

Slime positioned the beanie perfectly to make his head look like and egg and I love it.

[@Lynkah]

I for one would love to be non-traumatically missionaried by Slime!

[@jasonjavelin]

Man Zipper killed the pictures of the convicted felons lmaoooo

[@RedeemedExile]

In the original clip adin looks at it for 18 seconds before closing it lmao

[@furbyfizz6921]

As a queer yardigan, yes, slime is mother. mother bear

[@jackanderson-hh1lt]

im telling you right now nothing turned my head faster than seeing the formula to pissing standing up in the thumbnail

[@roll1d6]

“You’re not going to get addicted doing crack once.” - Lubwig

[@OfficialOcDzn]

the yard beverage would be soooo good as a lemonade or smth like from the yard sale

[@wally3083]

Adin just losing it at 42:07 at Slime's ridiculous question gets me

[@noah_rb1408]

1:12:48 “the ones you eat!”😂

[@User3747.a]

The Linus thing was technically a phishing scam, the attachment in the email installed the malware

[@miskeenamina]

the mother topic was so out of nowhere i started cry laughing on the bus.

[@lunlapine]

aiden before his haircut was baby girl, after the haircut he’s mother.

[@FranTheMa]

nick was so based this episode, such a cool dude

[@Limes935]

1:29:00 Slime does seem like a very attentive lover. I understand where Ludwig is coming from

[@lizziegalbreath]

if I saw slime in real life I think I would run in fear of him roasting me on the podcast talking bout a fan recognizing him

[@jacoblunchbox9499]

that thumbnail is very accurate, i thought i was the only one with that knowledge

[@hiimtravis2841]

Aimen looks like if Scott Wieland was a philosophy major in this episode and I'm here for it.

[@AdThe1st]

This podcast is too perfect I love it

[@BigHogLog]

Slime discovering mother the best thing since slime discovering snatched

[@asator3461]

Ludwig mispronouncing paruresis is the most "I have a degree in English literature" thing he has done

[@meg4684]

As a woman, I used to not be able to pee in public, only if there was no one in the bathroom or I had a ten minute pep talk beforehand, it was literally impossible to force it out. However, since being medicated and working on my anxiety, it’s a lot easier now

[@capriciousstudent]

Patreon goal for Gummy’d Up Nick

[@ninin11]

man i just noticed how nice the lighting looks

[@MAJ0ROCEL0T]

1:00:45 Nick I did the same thing and I think it might stem from being scared of the dark and thinking you could pee in the trash. It's not like a 6 year old understands fluid dynamics and how trash works

[@planetboogie]

slime is undoubtably mother

[@jonas1015119]

41:16 this might be one of my favorite Nick bits

[@Sunk]

I lost it when zipper just googled "hard candy"

[@aaronkerper4004]

56:50 I actually did use the cheerio method when I was a toddler being potty-trained. My dad was taught this way too apparently. I have no clue what the point was, but I guess it worked

[@coliver106]

the yard might have the best ad reads ever

[@SlammerFr]

cheerio training method is one of my earliest memories and ive been a stellar gamer ever since

[@ItsPatBoys]

only podcast I can enjoy an ad read

[@christinethesupreme5235]

Slime is definitely mother, Aiden is babygirl

[@ogmango2457]

such a good ep, just started it

[@McFlyMakesVids]

I'm at 16:00 idk if this is going to be addressed later but why tf is slime holding a crack pipe? lmfao

[@kievsceptile65]

I feel like Nick wore Heely’s in his youth

[@zoop5396]

The fact that Slime didn’t say “Mogul Milk” is truly criminal

[@flysniffer6112]

the yard drinking game: (add more in replys cause i couldnt think of many) take a shot when... `slime says "youre an asshole and heres why" +1 more shot if someone stopps him from explaining `if theres a conversation about ludwig being emotionless `shot per sponsorship `shot if sponsorship has arguing about slime or aiden taking a bit too far for a sponsorship(the company is strict and a tad cringe) `drama convo lasts more than 10 mins

[@harrykodetincs2460]

This might be my top 3 favourite episode