Do You Really Need a Partner to Be Happy?-The Work of Byron Katie®

A young woman does The Work at the New Year’s Mental Cleanse in Los Angeles. She is stuck on the belief “I need a partner to be happy.” With Byron Katie's help, she questions this belief and the many thoughts and images of past and future that support it.
“How do you react when you believe the thought ‘I need a partner’ and you’re around men?” Katie asks.
“There’s a desperation,” the woman says, “and I can’t see people in the moment. I concoct stories about attractive men.”
A bit later Katie says, “Turn it around. 'I don’t need a partner.' Examples? “
“I don’t need a partner, so I can learn to be with my thoughts in peace,” says the woman. “So I can do puzzles by myself.”
An audience member says, “They may not like cats.”
“That’s a huge one for me,” the woman laughs.
“You can grow with or without someone," Katie adds, “and when you're comfortable in yourself, the partner will come, or not. Be the person you love living with the most. For me it’s the joy of being with Stephen or without Stephen. One is equally as divine as the other. You are the beloved. You’re the one you want. You’re the one you need. You’re the one who is always there for you.”
When you’re not in touch with yourself, it’s a lonely world, with or without a partner. -Byron Katie
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[@gabbygryphon]

I understand this completely. This is ONE BRAVE WOMAN for exposing her deepest fear. Bravo!

[@judithpfeiffer9154]

Thank you, Katie, for the Work! This is a wonderful session. It resonates deeply with me. "So there are a lot of advantages to marriage. And there are a lot of advantages to being alone. And you can grow either way. And not having a partner is growing you right now. The trick is, for me, the joy of being with Stephen or without Stephen. That one is equally as divine as the other. And my freedom comes first. And then Stephen gets the benefit from that. So the more Work I do on myself the more attractive I seem to become to him. But that's what it's like to live with an authentic person. But you can grow either way." Byron Katie

[@gigiarmany]

Dear Judith ..you sooo nailed it ..couldnt explain it better👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽🤗

[@earthlilly]

Isn't this the most beautiful human interaction? Thank you both for your authenticity

[@KonnieHua1980]

I am so blessed to be at peace as a single person. I consider the freedom I have as a wonderful gift that's allowed me to get to know myself better and explore things and have experiences that I'm not sure I would have had, if I'd been involved with someone. 😊👍💗✌

[@chaosdream21]

Was totally like this in my 20s and sadly 30s. So common. Good for her on doing the work now.

[@dianaoolivia]

I loved how the girl summed it up at the end giving the example of playing cards with her grandma..the card of solitude can be the highest or the lowest however you look at it. She definateley got her reward from the work. beautiful :) Thank yoy Byron Katie for being so wonderful with that fragile girl. You helped her be strong. Love to you all

[@christophernakemowren827]

I HAD been searching , traveling internationally even , to find 'That' partner . In 2018 , I QUIT. ALL the reasons in this video , Finally sunk in. I am NOW enjoying life to MY fullest. Very satisfied to Stop the 'trying to match' , and just match ME. With the knowledge , ONLY then , will she show up. EVEN then , it is Healthy to Stay ME. Great video reminder ! thank you

[@clementeen]

Nakemo Wren this comment felt more powerful to me than the video! Inspiring, thank you

[@anna-maria535]

@David Plush I wonder why it works like this. As long as one wants something, it doesn't come, and when you quit, then it comes. But why? When I quit, when I don't want it anymore, then it's not satisfying when it comes, because I don't want it anymore. It would be more satisfying if it came when I want it. I know it works like this, but I don't like it...

[@michellejekel9875]

Nakemo Wren I also watched the work and am learning.

[@marcymex]

Jenny the realisation just comes when you actually see that everything is always yours...we venture living in lack and we create feelings of lack...the universe responds back when we no longer search...

[@azrael5310]

@@marcymex NAILED IT! ...Spot on. Hugs to your heart.

[@infinitehush]

Accidentally watching this on Valentine's Day!

[@judithpfeiffer9154]

“You can grow either way” - that’s been so true in my life! Thank you, Katie, for showing me the way to be happy with me ❤️

[@silvanalewis2336]

Katie, I met you at a client of mines house in San Mateo ca. The ladies name is Norma Carr. I am glad to see u come up in my life again. I have taken the hard road, but at this point after being married 3 times and never finding no joy in those relationships, I realize I need to love me and everything every moment of my life. Because I am the only one who can stop voice in my head, believing happiness is outside of me.

[@robbiepeterh]

This may sound silly but, for me, stretching out my body is the answer to all life's problems! Like a cat. Bliss.

[@shaloma-durgitarosata6189]

The Young Woman in this talk is beautiful physically and has inner beauty and intelligence! Thank you Ms. Katie for the great powerful work you have contributed to humanity for so many years! Thank you for caring so much about WOMEN and HUMANITY!!!! I sincerely BLESS YOU AND THIS YOUNG WOMAN AND SEND ALL MY LOVE AND HAPPY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS!!!

[@respect7677]

Thank you for speaking and doing the work for us .You are a brave and beautiful woman.I really wish for all of us to have Joy with or without man, Because Joy was never found in man but in God.

[@pennya.5892]

Human touch is good for the immune ststem= so if no partner, you get a therapeutic massage - or, alternatively, go swing dancing!

[@mehnazamjad9059]

Wow,what a profound work,I got to learn so much as a Life Coach myself and what I simply loved was I exactly more or less do very similar work, and feel very happy that it similar to experts like Byron Katie! This woman is so fortunate , hopefully she realised the genius she is with ,who with her simple "work" can change the trajectory of her life , provided this lady really understand what is she is gaining from this self inquiry . I find her way too melodramatic ,Iam not being judgemental , nothing against her , perhaps she has been brought up this way,but she is very fortunate to be with a genius like Katie

[@popochen3499]

Thank you both for share it. I am so deeply touched by this courage woman who shows her emotions driven by destructive thoughts. This comes to the right time to do MY THEWORK with the equal toughts about have to have a partner. 💗

[@Hen9207]

I watched this and almost dumped my boyfriend afterwards I was so selfishly content on my own. Her words made me feel very safe but should come with a warning sign!!

[@gigiarmany]

🤣🤣🤣😜😜

[@MrCanigou]

courageous woman, inspiring work

[@nancy8070]

thank you for uploading this! I so enjoy these videos and always learn something!

[@Degjoy]

Katie, your work helps me every day. I adore you. Thank you so much for all you do XXXXX

[@michellejekel9875]

Byron Katie this wonderful.

[@samsmith4216]

Isn't her first name Byron?

[@mizkcreations]

I feel you. It is as if I was on stage. That vulnerability.

[@julian6426]

Thank you, beautiful Soul-étude ;)

[@theartofintegralbeing]

Oh my goodness this came at the right time. Thank you always for sharing Xxx

[@CDNBOBify]

I wish the technician here would turn up the mics.

[@Joystar3000]

I wish they had turned up the Mic too that's why I'm listening to this with ear buds lol 😆

[@ikigai3232]

Thank you!

[@yetisunghymn]

I should bring life a partner. :)

[@marymcauley]

yetisunghymn Beautiful! And yes! Consciousness extending love..... life loving itself

[@jorayna1]

Amazing! So relatable.

[@Errachttoo]

Wow. Thank you 💝

[@enyp6814]

Loved it

[@SunUp08]

Get a dog. Far better companion 🐶

[@lifebeelifebee9214]

that was pretty genius

[@saramotalebi]

seems like she just talked her out of wanting a partner,

[@Nae641]

I always had a partner in my life. Friend's say I am afraid without. I am now in a relationship and it is sometimes too much. But who I am without a partner? I am now 42, can I ever be alone.

[@babycakes8434]

Ofcourse you can be alone! Being alone after "too much" is the best feeling ever💖❤💗😍

[@spiritsplice]

We aren't supposed to be alone. Anyone who claims they are happy being alone is either broken or lying. Telling someone they shouldn't feel the lack they feel is psychological abuse. Talking people out of what they want is very manipulative. We aren't here to be Buddhist monks living a detached life. We aren't supposed to be like animals with no thoughts beyond the moment. Her sadness isn't just in the future, she is sad RIGHT NOW being alone.

[@carmenl163]

Did you even watch the video?

[@mandymonroe6295]

I agree. There's no way that was helpful.

[@happylindsay4475]

I don't think she is trying to tell her to be detached, she is asking this young woman to focus on the present, the "now"- she is alone and she is lonely- but it is a choice and everything else she is projecting her fears into the future- but these are unsubstantiated and unrealised in REALITY- its the narrative that we feed that exaggerates and amplifies our insecurities and fears. What is revealed in these sessions is that you are never alone and can never be abandoned if you love yourself. And when you decide to love yourself, know yourself, you are practicing and learning how to give yourself that love,care,attention etc. so when you ARE ready for love, you are not coming from a place of lack/desperation and you would be more able to see the other person for who they are, rooted in your own power and know exactly where you begin and the other ends- and are able to love unconditionally. Because you love yourself unconditionally. I guess I have been here so many times looking everywhere and anywhere but inside myself. Stay blessed :)

[@marymcauley]

Yes Spirit Splice... she is sad in that moment because she is believing thoughts which tell her the present moment isn’t enough. Challenging these thoughts breaks her out of the cycle she’s trapped in and even pragmatically is more likely to lead to her being in a relationship that isn’t bourne of a sense of indequacy. Spirit is Love... it does not need. I am confused by the disjuncture between your name and what you wrote.

[@3506Dodge]

Interesting, though I don't see any coherent logic in what Katie or the other woman say.

[@happylindsay4475]

She is redirecting her focus from projecting outwards her inner desires and getting to the young woman's core issues minus the "dramatic narrative" that we add to our thoughts. Thoughts are different from facts.

[@Sunshowers902]

😰

[@katieslovenia9172]