The dark love bomb

[@DominieRobinson]

My mother often Warned me " BeWare the man who puts you on a Pedestal, only to Treat you like a Footstool later "

[@lorenebaxter-e8c]

your mother is very wise.

[@pixiedoodledust]

Your mother is a wise woman ❤

[@TeacherMom80]

Good one! Ive heard a lot of ancient wisdom but never that! Thanks a bunch for sharing. I'm going to put it in my back pocket. Wishing you & yours the best! Be well,everyone!

[@RayF6126]

My Grandfather used to say pedestals for were for sitting on your ass and farting in one place.

[@thehardercandy]

Words of wisdom.

[@NarcSurvivor]

Narcissists will often lovebomb you, only to bait you in, with the intention of punishing you once they’ve gotten you emotionally invested.

[@aprilwilcox5065]

Spot on

[@krystolyncarpio6010]

🎯

[@caroleminke6116]

They ALWAYS use grooming as a manifestation tactic! It’s integral to the abuse! Just because it feels great at first doesn’t mean it’s not meant to control you! Think transactional behavior, then think coercive control plz

[@thepragmatist]

Completely agree.

[@fazares]

Not often...always i d say😂😅

[@catherinewholey3630]

I’m done with relationships so will never fall for the love bomb again. I’ve been single for 7 years and am concentrating on living my life stress free. It was strange at first but I love my single life. The peace!

[@tredd9019]

@catherinewholey3630 Wait till your 60 and alone. It's a different kind of sobering to be sure.

[@caroleminke6116]

☮️🦋💜

[@caroleminke6116]

@@tredd901966 & alone but free of abuse

[@janyagovani749]

❤❤

[@JohannaVanDreumel]

​@@tredd9019I'm now 67, 7yrs free of my deceitful ex. Yes it was hard at first, to begin again so close to retirement. But how EMPOWERING that I made it , without him. I'm not the Idiot he said I was. You also can find your True self, time to put YOU 1st.

[@titansky1001]

"Love bombing is a limited release with a short run" truer words have not been spoken

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

I am believing the dark love bombing can be continues being the narc heart is black.

[@lt827]

The dark love bomber may also store away your hurts and injustices done to you only to weaponize them against you at a later date.

[@Cre80s]

"Any and all statements can and will be used against you..."

[@VenusianLissette]

yes!!! this big time!! it’s so cringe lmao

[@hollyk7052]

YUP! I was called the most heinous names but the insults were specified to my ocd fears and vulnerabilities, mixed in with the projections of her poor actions. I knew not to get too close because I saw flags, but she still managed to get enough ammunition to hurt..I’m grieving that relationship, I really loved her as family.

[@kellyhowell-perez4145]

Yes. I believe this is called “mirroring.”

[@lt827]

@@kellyhowell-perez4145 this is the darkest kind of mirroring.

[@cheekytitaable]

The worst part of being with a Narc, isn't just the relationship being founded on illusion and slight of hand, it's that you let yourself become vulnerable to someone so undeserving and false. It's almost like self betrayal. Another kind of self inflicted wound one has to heal from post Narc relationship.

[@TaraVanSickle]

I felt physically sick when I found that I've married a narcissist. I was 19 and all this time I was clueless and it's been 30 years now married and the stress 😩 as long as I have a problem or mad or stressed were good !! But don't ever let me be happy !! That's a no -no !!

[@cheekytitaable]

@ yeah, when your in a negative state and they act happy, that’s a red flag for sure.

[@Poopworld7889]

❤

[@annastepniewska2219]

Soo true

[@youngblood8540]

The hungrier and insecure you are about yourself is what makes you more vulnerable to the lies from these demons.

[@SirenaSpades]

Everyone is vulnerable to this.

[@ParentingWithNarcopath]

This happens in all areas of life employment business parents siblings best friends families.

[@youngblood8540]

The worst LIE someone can tell you is, "I LOVE YOU"!

[@sandra-says-777]

Those precious, shallow words are a tool to get what the Narcs want.

[@yourmom2189]

Are you saying that love between humans doesn’t really exist?

[@ParentingWithNarcopath]

I love my kids & want the best for them.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

​@@sandra-says-777Yes.

[@TheNintendoDScollector]

Much love to everyone struggling... things suck.

[@tredd9019]

The damage my 2 year/engagement/ ring Narc/Avoidant did to me can never be repaired. I will NEVER be the same, and in a perfect world, there would be charges/crimes they could be charged with and prosecuted for. It's weird to me that being a mean, heartless, reprehensible, cruel, life-altering, lying, cheating piece of worthless shit isn't a chargeable offense.

[@sharicoburn5475]

I hear you! Been through it twice. I took two years after the last one and did so much research and healing. Finally am seven months into an actual healthy relationship with a good man who also had trauma and did the healing work. Finally no anxiety, no fights, only kindness and respect. If you want to heal and try to love, it can happen but do the work on yourself first.

[@caroleminke6116]

But it’s a lesson that will always strengthen your boundaries & discernment for the future

[@debperkinswhitney7736]

Hear you! I have always said how nice it would be for abuse to be illegal. Even the physical abuse that IS illegal isn't really prosecuted. I've been through it many time, the longest being 16 years before I stopped trying or believing in anyone anymore. I'm 55 and plan to be alone from now on. I was only love bombed once, they are not all the same at the beginning. The only thing the same on this large spectrum is they are set on destroying you any way they can. I was always unfortunately determined to see the good in people, even if I had to make it up .

[@gilltoosey3844]

It is in Scotland. My ex was charged with a serious coercive control and domestic abuse charge and appears in court in 2 months. After 2 adjournments in in 18 months, I hope the next court date won’t be adjourned.

[@sushmayen]

All of us are vulnerable to the love acting. Then we're stunned when they throw us under the bus. Rude awakening.

[@CS-iv8tk]

We all just want to believe they are honest people that truly want to be on our side

[@DeborahKNazelrod]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized

[@NoahKahan-e3j]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@DeborahKNazelrod]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@NoahKahan-e3j]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@DeborahKNazelrod]

You wont regret it

[@danaparfitt2491]

right

[@WendyFranklin-o8b]

😮 Thank you 😊 for saying "we ALL are vulnerable to Love Bombing", I thought of myself as an intelligent wise woman, ohh no no 😢

[@lyrasus]

Future faking and love bombing is so confusing to me when the narcissist lacks all other foresight? Like, how am I even be worth the effort if they don’t deem their own needs or struggles worth addressing or sorting out.

[@SwayzeOnYa12]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯💯💯

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other

[@ShondellChristine]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.

[@ShondellChristine]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@ShondellChristine]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@brightbite]

Remember that narcissists do not know they are broken, so they can't fix your brokenness!

[@Warp75]

“Love bombing is like being in a relationship with sexy AI” hahahaha I will never forget that one

[@mjaye1712]

My father once railed on when I referred to someone as a friend. He railed that I did not have friends, only acquaintances. I responded that I would decide. That seemed to enrage him, and he said that a friend is willing to die for you. Me: I don't have that requirement for friendship. I didn't know about grievance collectors or narcissism back then. I had done enough healing to let a bit of light in. I realized in time how I was primed to connect with chronically angry, jealous, or wronged people. I mistook intensity for understanding and positive connection.

[@Myopia2047]

You are just phenomenal to identify these aspect of dark love bombing, it is truly challenge to identify this , these are individuals who empathise but want you to stuck on the loop of anger/ frustration/ resentment/ grudge as they so cleverly trigger their victim and then use these reactions to paint a whole narrative of destroying any progress the person is attempting to make to heal or come to realisation of the extent of gaslighting and isolation that one was put in. They want you to be stuck on that hamster wheel of pain n hurt

[@sharicoburn5475]

Yes it keeps you off balance and easier to manipulate

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

[@Shanieceflordi]

Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

[@Shanieceflordi]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@DiscordBeing]

My narc ex used to dark love bomb me by out of nowhere mentioning how everyone underestimated me because I am autistic. It always felt really mean when it came out, somehow. Now I know why.

[@abe34fizzy]

beware aba behavioral techs that are also narcs, i got aba conditioned into the perfect puppet, when i snapped out of it and noticed all of the cues she was training me on, i felt terrified of her, narcs dont care about their autistic targets but they know we make the best targets

[@NintenJon64]

Really appreciate how much you upload, Dr. Ramani. I live at home with a parent who is a narcissist, and I’m currently struggling with anxiety that causes me chronic inflammatory pain because of it. Need these daily reminders to both keep myself safe and unbothered so that I can find the strength within to move on.

[@luismiguel69able]

Same. Because she doesnt practice anymore this is the closest thing to therapy we can get.

[@EcoVintageArtGifts]

@@NintenJon64 I grow native passionflower for that. On several occasions I didn't even take the time to make tea. I just went out, and chewed up a leaf. Consult a doctor, of course.

[@byebye967]

You Can Do This 💪 I’m praying for you! PRAY about it I promise you’ll get an answer 🙏🏽 stay prayed up! 💯

[@sunatlife]

Work hard, own a place, and move on as soon as you can. Because they will NEVER change!

[@sunatlife]

Work hard, own a place, and move on as soon as you can. Because they will NEVER change!

[@RobinSpeer]

Dark love bombing!!! Thank you Dr. Ramani! I've never heard that term but it explains a lot...I thought I was just commiserating but with one person it became a competition then a weapon and with another person it was their love of hearing about suffering. I'm having an existential moment because this has been so confusing for me to explain to my counselor and myself! You're the best Dr. Ramani!

[@kenshirogenjuro873]

I’ve watched this manipulative tactic employed quite a bit but never thought of it in this light but it makes perfect sense

[@Wholesome_Mystic]

At 1:45 when you said the love bomb phase done right makes you feel seen and that’s what makes it so nefarious to me. What also makes it nefarious is the fact that the person who is love bombing you has studied you enough to know exactly how to love bomb you to make you feel seen and appreciated so you feel like you had everything you desired in that relationship Which I still feel sometimes to this day that I’ll be able to find no one else who makes me feel this way even though when he did it, it wasn’t authentic. It still showed me that he had studied me enough to know exactly who I am and with knowing who I am, he knows how to Appreciate how to turn me on how to make me feel seen and appreciated and in those moment I felt like I was getting exactly what I wanted, and I sometimes do crave that attention now because without him, I’m back to the life of not being seen not being appreciated or valued for what I bring to the table so I still get tempted sometimes to return, which I know I will not, but the temptation comes because I felt so seen

[@isaiahknecht652]

You've described how I've been feeling for the past month to a T. It's like your heart really wants that treatment back because it felt so damn good when you had it but your brain keeps reminding you that it wasn't real and that you need to stay away and that's what hurts the most and keeps me stuck. Because they make you feel like you need them because without them the world is cold and lonely.

[@lesliejoyce1944]

Thank you! This one is so great for describing the contrast between dark lovebombing and validation. That difference is so hard to spot after a lifetime of invalidation. We possibly don’t know “normal.”

[@caroleminke6116]

Normal isn’t familiar but dysfunction is common

[@justme9818]

Dear Leslie Joyce, I agree with you. I think this video is a gem. I don't usually let myself write so much on a KZbin post, I got a bit carried away... If it's too much, I can take it down! After a long time looking into this area, I think there's more reasons why we don't see dark lovebombing. I think we're less to blame than so much literature and psychology would have us believe. I think it's actually difficult for anyone to see, regardless of their upbringing or past. The worst narcissists I've known had entire communities totally fooled- for decades. To the point in some cases, where the women in their lives were considered 'b*tches' and that they were the unfortunate men who had to put up with them. Even though these women were being put through exactly this dynamic. They were being slowly neglected and destroyed by their husbands. But people thought they were saints. No one saw through them. If narcissists are capable of this level of deception, of deceiving hundreds of people over decades, then how could it be our fault if we don't see through it from the start? I don't know why it doesn't come up more, how highly intelligent narcissists actually are. Every narcissist I've met has been super intelligent. And was keeping their high intelligence under wraps. They hadn't opted for a good education or a great job. They preferred to live and work in unchallenging circumstances, pretending to be unassuming and harmless, so no one ever suspected they were exceptionally clever. And so they got away with running rings around everyone, using their hidden intelligence to game play and manipulate, but always in the background. Ultimately destructive people, but getting other people to do their dirty work for them. Maintaining that facade of harmlessness, the direct opposite of who and what they really were. If you're dealing with someone more highly intelligent than you. You are already at a massive disadvantage. These people are so many steps ahead, they have the path they want to push you down mapped out before you've finished your first drink. These kinds of people are puppeteers. They are the chess champions of psychological abuse. That's why they're so hard to spot. It's absolutely not our fault. Another crazy fact I learned years ago. When the human brain is faced with strongly opposing evidence about the same situation or person or from the same situation or person, it can't cope. It can't reconcile the opposing evidence. It's impossible for the brain. The brain has to choose which option to 'believe'. This choice is completely subconscious. The choice usually aligns, wait for it, with the first picture that was presented. -So if the narcissist presented as a great person, the brain will choose to prioritise the information that supports this original picture, rather than oppose it. This has nothing to do with a person's background, history or vulnerability. It's just brain science. (It's why the body, and feelings are a more accurate barometer for safety than the mind) Lastly, (and this happened me a lot in my last narcissistic relationship). When someone puts enough truth into a lie or manipulation, the truth still rings true. The truth ringing true is always a good feeling. It feels relaxing, grounded and safe. Narcissists hide their lies and intentions inside the truths they choose to cloak them in. The impact of the truth in what they communicate hides the abuse. I honestly think everyone in the world gets taken in by narcissists. If they didn't, we wouldn't have to fight so hard to be truly heard about narcissistic abuse would we? It wouldn't be such a conundrum, or challenge. I think where those of us with abusive pasts differ from others, is that we suffer the most from the abuse, because of our past hurts, and find it a lot harder to get out because we've no proper support system. Other people like to think themselves immune, and blame us for getting sucked in or trapped. But is this actually true? I don't think so. Wouldnt we live in a very different world if narcissism was being recognised and dealt with by the rest of the world. Capitalism (or if you prefer, enterprise) would look different, politics would look different, corporations would look different. The whole of Western society would be completely different, if narcissism want such a prevalent and widely accepted pay off the current human condition. Narcissism does many times more harm in the world than COVID ever did. The people who got COVID weren't blamed for it... People who were more vulnerable were taken care of, were prioritised, to prevent infection.. So why aren't we? If narcissism only takes the most vulnerable people in, why aren't other people on board with helping, supporting and protecting us?

[@moniquejackson7741]

So Brilliant. It's wonderful and eye opening to learn these nuances of Love Bombing. I can so relate to this and can now clearly see the Dark Love Bombing in my narcissistic family. My initial reaction is to want to curl up, hide, and never speak to another human being again. I know it's temporary; just needed to share.

[@sandra-says-777]

Dark love bombing sounds like a form of a “pity party.” Never liked it. I didn’t understand it, but I knew it was not an authentic interaction. When I experienced it, I felt the other person was sucking me into “their” negative baggage. I didn’t feel heard. 🤔 When something is off, it’s “off.” Thanks Dr. Ramani for bringing this subject matter to light.

[@erockfreedom6399]

I feel like I lost my empathy, individuality, and humanity. A dependent angry robot with the narcissist.

[@christineplaton3048]

Other people can have the thought loop. Your life isn't all about them. Dealing with multiples of narcissists or flying monkeys is unbelievable. It really happens. Theres no solution except to walk away. You are it. The target...and they are enjoying their game.

[@FaithfulandTrue777]

Woah!! This 🎯 🔥🔥🔥 I'm in a discard, so foolish I'm hurt and feel so alone😢

[@orielwiggins2225]

You nailed this. I've often wondered about a particular one of my narcissistic friendships. (he wanted way more) and often said we bonded over a shared history with a toxic color like church, but only a couple months in and I was dealing with hard coffee verbal abuse the moment I didn't give into the very unreasonable expectations I was totally unaware of. It escalated from recently widowed vulnerable narc vibes into full on stalker with some outlandish accusations. Thankfully I've gotten proper protection and have moved to safety and healing. But this describes it so well. I see it more in vulnerable narcs.

[@alexzd7628]

This is Month 3 of no contact with my narcissistic relative, and I just want to say this. Watching your videos helps me so much ❤️ in many ways! 1) It helps me to remember why I am going no contact, and educate myself on what to do when I eventually have to be at a family event with them present. 2) I don't feel like the only one going through these experiences. 3) At the moment I can't afford a therapist, but on days where I am feeling anxious or stuck thinking of the past, I can work through it and remember I am in the present now. Understand the past but don't sit in it.

[@summercreekway]

Like a magician who a technique called misdirection giving you what you think you need, but running 5 different deceptions & future scenarios of games you have not see yet.

[@gracepeterson7483]

This is exactly what happened with my "therapist". He validated my childhood trauma and took offense for me which was incredibly nice. Then he augmented my history with satanic ritual abuse, erroneously interpreting the symptoms I presented. I felt like a real hero in my own eyes, having survived such horrific abuse. One minute he was compassionate and understanding. The next minute he was biting my head off. It was always a crapshoot. I kept coming back because I felt like he was the only one who understood me. I wanted that validation but it always came with a price.

[@lostredsock6989]

When I was still married to the narcissist and just starting therapy, I had a dream in which a woman (who I interpreted as a healer/psychic) said to me "You'll never be loved as much as this person will love you" : then a tornado hits the building and rips it apart. Tornado as metaphor for the LOVE BOMB (which was a term I didn't know back then). You know you're really hooked and enmeshed with a narcissist when your own dreams gaslight & love bomb you! Who was it that said "dreams are answers to questions you have yet to ask?"...

[@katemizu]

Thank you Dr.Ramani, you are saving lives with your wisdom! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@TattedChristian]

Dr. Ramani, thank uuuu💕🙏!!! U r amazing. This is the 1st time I have ever heard about the DARK love bomb. Amazing! GOD bless u and ur work, thank uuuuu🙏💕💕🤗!

[@ivandejour9806]

Your videos are so timely!!! Literally goin thru this. People indulging in your less than perfect moments to encourage it just so they can sabotage you in the end

[@witchyone1052]

You are a queen dr. I don’t know how I keep choosing these narcissists but I have learned from you, to stop blaming myself- bad people behaving badly, is not my fault. Thank you so much for what you do

[@tarahwang9121]

Thank you for finally putting a name to something I've been through. Could you please do a video on the difference between dark love bombing and someone who genuinely listens and empathizes with what you've been through? I'm afraid of falling into the same trap again. I want a genuine relationship where I'm seen, heard, and respected.

[@alessandrasaenz72]

I've been following you for years now and yet I always learn something new from you. The ex did one hell of a combination between typical fairy tale love bombing and this dark love bombing. It was very enlightening. Thank you and many blessings.

[@Lailat854]

OMG!! My N husband never lovebombed with gifts and flowers and romantic dinners or travels. I used to be annoyed that ever one is talking about love bombing. But now understand: he was “supportive”, he was often praising me in front of others etc! I guess God protected me: he never managed to isolate me, nor stop my growth! That is why his anger grew.

[@laura-2]

You will be treated like gold for months. Everything is hot and heavy - you found the perfect partner who is attentive, affectionate and passionate. The first red flag is they keep sharing their own stories (non stop blabbing from their aide) and don’t seem to be too interested in what’s going on in your life. The convos always switch back to what’s going on with them. Suddenly there is a switch and they are indifferent. For NO reason. There was no argument, no fight - in fact, the night before might have been one of your best nights together. After that switch, they will never ever come back to normal. You will be faced with constant silent treatment. You will be walking on eggshells. The minute you corner them and ask them what the hell is going on - you will be stonewalled. They gain power this way. You will be CONFUSED af. You will do everything you can to have the “old” them back, because you don’t like this new version. What you need to realize is the “old” version never existed. It was a complete lie and act - learned from friends, movies etc. It was a character made just for you - it’s no surprise you had a lot in common and now suddenly you don’t. The person you fell in love with completely disappeared, they are ghost. It is absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. All you see is the same body without the same soul. The more frustrated they see you - the more the run and push you away because they don’t want you to see that it was all a mask. Affection is out the window at this point. They can barely kiss or hold hands, but when earlier you were on their lap 247. The real them came out and the mask is off - they hate any from of emotion or love because they are not capable of it. You will be faced with constant gaslighting and they will try to distort your reality so you don’t see them for who they really are. You need to run like the wind - this relationship only makes you destroyed. Their friends don’t know.. for the covert ones - only their romantic relationship partners can figure it out. Because they are so careful with their image, it’s all about perception management. And one day… after all the cognitive dissonance and sleepless nights and feeling sick to your stomach.. you open KZbin and it’s a door to all your answers. You are well with a narcissistic psychopath that has no feelings. Leave and never look back. Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

[@chrisadimitriadou]

When we grow up in unfavorable environments, the main thing that we miss from our lives is the know how "normal" and "non toxic" feels. But the on going production of informational videos and posts from therapists, focus on "what not to do" and "what to be mindful of". In other words, they focus on protection instead of connection. I honestly believe that being part of the human culture means that we will, one way or another, be exposed to some extent, to toxic behaviors that we will have to normalize in order to survive the culture itself. Because the main offender is our culture and the biggest part of our traumas will always be systemic. The average person may not be able to put it into words, but we feel it in our bones, and this is why we end up choosing isolation and distance from others. The question is, can we heal THAT?

[@felicitasgonzales9633]

my situation was a “friendship”. She was always a victim always in a bad situation. Always someone elses fault. Only I could help. called me a friend but we never reached that level. Never truly got to know me.

[@jennyherzog9872]

This is a great video! Thank you for your videos!

[@valentinarex94952]

Ramani! The revelations never cease. You good girl 💥🤩

[@Sherirose1]

She worked hard for her doctorate. As Judge Judy says, my friends call me Judy.

[@joanharder2124]

I am so grateful to you Dr Ramani, fellow travelers here, my therapist, …. It’s been a rough year, left the “B” last December and my Christmas gift this year is that my mediation date is on the 13th. So many awareness (denial) of what a monster he really is. Most people love him, educated, good looking, athletic, Air Force retired officer. God bless and good bye!! So grateful for awareness!!

[@EcoVintageArtGifts]

I saw this alot from one person who is no longer in my life. It is possible to learn to recognize it, and move on.

[@SagittariusBabe87]

I've personally learned after experiencing Narcissism, DO NOT overshare. It will help you, immensely.

[@EcoVintageArtGifts]

@SagittariusBabe87 Agreed

[@SocialMedia-c2u]

Also thank you for making these videos they are very educational and you’re helping many people heal so thank you

[@christineplaton3048]

This is really good Dr Ramani. You can have anger. Keep it minimal. Stay in touch with your true reactions. Just don't let the degree of disgust grow. In time you are very capable of shrugging things. Its unfortunate. Keep searching for REAL people...

[@ericniles4867]

Thanks so much Dr Ramani, you give so much off yourself on this channel. You give me more and more reasons to try and live life according to sensible personal boundaries. Who hasn't been love bombed?

[@BrittanyHunter-f6w]

When I watch these, I see a lot of myself although I came for a different reason. Frightening ❤

[@DoreenWeed]

Estranged parents love this trick.

[@hennisincoff502]

Commiserateing is another glue that helps you stick to them.

[@QuinnMarie222]

It was H3LL on earth.

[@dimitrid1096]

Thanks for sharing this, this one is gold ! ✨🙏

[@VenusianLissette]

preach Dr. Ramani, this is healing :)

[@sharpatite4684]

Great distinctions Dr. Ramani!!! Thank you!!!!

[@SheilaChung-rt5iy]

Ty Dr. Ramani. It’s so frustrating and confusing to move on when you have the narcissist still lurking around . I just want whoever is doing this to me to leave me alone so I can heal properly.😢

[@Ratgirl2]

Yes they keep trying to drag you back in third time I left no going back nothing will change no matter what they say. Such manipulators this person doesn't like my strength too dam bad.

[@Veerycat]

I believe this describes my X and thank you very much. I never heard of this before. Love your insight.

[@Aditya-x1s9o]

So insightful 😮

[@laurapalmer7662]

This has been my fucking life for years i cant believe it :(

[@EcoVintageArtGifts]

@@laurapalmer7662 Not anymore:)

[@christineplaton3048]

Thanks. Yes there can be attempts... Frightening for someone who got beyond a long term marriage or relationship with a narcissist. Basically when the narcissist knows your struggle they will try to harm you further by using various techniques. Taking nothing for granted, nothing serious is your best strength. Caution, precaution when it is obvious the grooming is put of proportion. We all have hopes. No good relationship will just happen. It takes time.

[@pathfinder6993]

Thanks Dr Ramani, this one pro'lly woulda got me.. if you got no one to talk to this would have some powerful appeal.

[@Markr980]

This explanation really hits home for me. This was a CONSTANT in my marriage. I ran into a roadblock, she suggested that i was a victim and should follow victim tactics, like her...and when i didnt do that it was like betrayal. 'Why did you take the high road? You dont love me. Husbands are supposed to do what their wives tell them to do...' Thank God my father NEVER allowed me to carry a victim mentality or i would have left that marriage with far greater losses.

[@karlasilis-cruz528]

Thank you Dr. Ramani for this video! I needed to hear this today! 💝

[@maninahal3449]

You are an Angel Dr 🙏

[@torifletcher474]

YES!!!! By the end of my relationship with my ex I felt like he was shining a spotlight on me and then doing absolutely anything he could to break me down and lose my shit while everyone could see it and he hid in the shadows. It was maddening

[@justice8563]

I know this all to well with my sister. The amount of sadistic behavior’s I’ve received from her after the dark love bombing of you’re so special and I admire your strength, yet is smearing my name and tearing me down and tormenting when no one is around to see it, is disturbing. It’s without a doubt, pure evil because it was used to tear me down to a shell of myself, because of her sick jealousy, control, and the manipulation to turn everyone against me to keep all of their abuse to keep it going.

[@JessicaWilson-lz1bh]

this was the missing piece. I had no idea this pattern was a thing, thank you!!

[@mvp_health-n-beauty]

☺️😆 priceless @drramani and a continued thank you for all you do to share hope, health, and healing 🤗😊

[@jmang5953]

Beautifully done, ty for sharing your knowledge ❤❤❤

[@anthonynapier2887]

Yeah, I am guilty of this, I wasn't supposed to reach adulthood, you know what they are like... Whole channel is based on us. It's cool how antisocial PD is seen as a deficit and not the natural evolution of our modern society trying to consume itself for resources.

[@AgataStrucka]

Very interesting, thank you. This explains what happened in at least one relationship of mine. I had suspicions that the guy was narcissistic (direct gaslighting), but i had a hard time spotting his way of love bombing. This is it. Misery loved company... Way too much.

[@JS-tx9jy]

Could it be, that after something like this, you might start suspecting people of this behaviour that are simply kind. Is this why some people dislike overly nice folks, even when they might be sincere?

[@Yanimalyan]

Yes, being overly nice triggers my defenses against manipulation. I will observe from an emotional distance until I understand the person.

[@sharicoburn5475]

Gosh this is exactly what happened twice to me. Fell for it. But I'm a happy person so they hated that too so conflict arose when I tried to begin to lift them up instead of going along with their very dark personality. They dont want to heal and grow.

[@Sherirose1]

Dr Ramani , thank you.

[@mortythepug]

Thank you. I felt so stupid that I fell for my ex's love bombing. I thought I've finally found the love that I deserve! He promised me he'd never hurt me or be a perpetrator, and that, men like that made him angry! . Haha wow did he lie. So happy to be 3 years out. ❤️

[@scottware2720]

You are brilliant 👏 😀 🙌 👌 ❤️

[@cherrybacon3319]

After becoming educated on Narcissm whilst I was still in the relationship I recognised what was behind my Narc Ex's Love-Bombing. How he could switch from nasty to nice within a moment and how he'd become flustered when I talked to him about his accountability. Obviously, he didn't want to lose control, and he could see in me that I wasn't taking any of his BS anymore. 🍒

[@ocelot1327]

i saw a film called ANORA it was a suggestion in best movies of the year that are less known. i didn't want to see it at first because i thought it was a love story.until i realized i was about love bombing and when you see his real self of a pathetic person at the movie it feels so relatable. I know doctor Ramani like to see movies with such themes i wanted to share. the feeling of betrayal was so relatable although you don't live a life like the protagonists

[@MichaelSkinner-e9j]

I've never had sex, and I doubt I ever will. I've learned to not trust people. I've watched my siblings and friends go through relationships, and I'm just not having that musical chair insanity:-/

[@Outback69]

That's a shame, I hope to have sex with a big girl at least once or twice in my life. I don't plan to be single for ever.

[@renticat]

I need to know how to heal from narc trauma because at this point I just can't believe anyone at all, like when you encounter too much bad people you started to think all people are bad.

[@Malibu_Dawn]

There are many bad people.

[@DeaconBeanCooter]

Lol, I wonder if AI is gonna put the nark *out of business* so to speak hahahaha

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

The conspiracy to AI is to put us all out of business. The narc is behind the AI actually

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Actually the narc is behind the AI

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

This is it ! Dark love bombing! Have a narc lady turn my daughter against me. The narc lady has extreme mommy issues! Making a mole hill into a mountain!! Swear words!! Btw my daughter is slowly coming back around. wtf!

[@mac-ju5ot]

The worse part is they think it's just some game.....not your personal life . They see others as broken and undesirable because if circumstances beyond their control..😅😅i gave up all just to try to push through it's not going to make any difference to the narc. Thru sleep only too well at night

[@MamaChandy]

So, how do you know if it’s love bombing or simply courting?! Consistency….hmmm and then it becomes the toxic cycle.

[@basantidevi2305]

Courting is when they take you out without asking for sex. My current did that for 5 months. It was so nice.

[@MamaChandy]

@@basantidevi2305 wow

[@sharicoburn5475]

​@@basantidevi2305yes courting is not rushing

[@sharicoburn5475]

Time! Go slow. Say no and see how they react. Cancel a date see the reaction. Go slow, a narc can only hide for a few months

[@lilycole6658]

@@sharicoburn5475they can hide for so much longer unfortunately

[@diamerist88879]

I was being abused at first. Mentally and emotionally by a narcissist mommas boy. Abused me even my mom got sick. I left without a word and he vowed to change. I came back. He stopped putting his hands on me but he’s still a bully. Everytime I act cold, he starts acting fake sad and depressed. Love bombing me and giving me “praise”. When I try to open up because of his complaints, he acts like he’s allergic to the love I give. Being mean and annoying And when I’m talking, he puts his hand in my face. Which I said I hate plenty of times. I’m starting to realize that being a bully is just in his nature and he used me to get out of his mom’s house. I’m currently fighting with the thought of leaving this month.

[@Malibu_Dawn]

Leaving sounds like a good idea. Please be careful when leaving this mommy's boy. He sounds dangerous ❤❤❤

[@diamerist88879]

@Malibu_Dawn omggg. Thank you for this confirmation. I literally came back to KZbin to look up videos on how to leave a narcissist even when they’re being fake nice. 😭 you’re absolutely right because recently in an argument he told me he still feels like putting his hands on me. It’s still his way or the highway. I’m just gonna leave when he goes to work. Absolutely insane.

[@Malibu_Dawn]

@diamerist88879 Most welcome and I am happy to hear that! You are in my prayers. Be cool, be smart.. just like you are, Diamerist! ♥ ♥ ♥

[@SaronJoy]

I've experienced the most Dark Love-bombing from girl friends. You've got to live me when I'm UP, Down, & e everything in between. 😊

[@patrickbinford590]

The ILLUSION created by the LOVE BOMBER becoming REAL to the LOVE BOMBED: THAT'S where it's at. And then the growth of the survivor with all its ups and downs continuing, becomes more and more, with this ongoing and continuous reality, better and better vis-a-vis the love bomber and narcissist, BETTER. I'm too lazy to edit that now, it was pretty grammatically and awkward.

[@marinaBSNRN]

This is a tricky one. Thank you:)

[@DominieRobinson]

What gets Me is the Flash and Dazzle Super Ultra SEEMING Sincere HOOVER drawing us Back In when we feel we have HAD ENOUGH of the PsychozBabble, gaslighting, triangulating, psychologically manipulating crazymaking , Word Salad ! UnReal !

[@kiaraemblom7306]

I can’t be the only one who saw what was happening and stupidly chose to ignore it or justify it…. Like I have theories for why I let myself do it, a few theories, but now that it’s the end of that particular situation I’m pretty upset with myself (I was the entire time actually but as usual, I don’t listen even to me 🙄) idk if the fact that it wasn’t my first narcissistic like rodeo or wtf but it’s pretty upsetting 😂😭🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Malibu_Dawn]

❤❤❤

[@michelleburnham2887]

Kyle: Love is free. It's Dynamic. Love makes the world turn. It's Equal. It doesn't put someone on a pedestal or in a cave. Love is not standing on a pedestal. If you want to be free, lead yourself and love unconditionally.

[@teresacastanedacastaneda6555]

Informative ❤❤❤

[@airenmoonwolf2520]

This adds a piece of the puzzle I was missing in some key relationships in my life. Now that I see the issue and how I have responded to it I feel a bit more able to face why I seem to cling to people who love bomb in this way. I need to firm up my resolve to get healthy and grow rather than be sort of, lazy, I guess? And not simply accepting the negative validation that I sometimes crave. Yes, parts of my life have sucked but right now I am doing much better. I know I still have issues accepting positive validation but knowing that dark love bombing is a thing makes it easier to see why it is so seductive to me. Shoring up my armor even as I get my "ah ha" moments.

[@hollyk7052]

I was screamed at and told I NEED TO WORK ON PROCESSING MY EMOTIONS for not retaliating or yelling insults back😂