Does Anyone Want Any Toast? | Red Dwarf | BBC

Kryten tries to be helpful by fixing the toaster only to discover that it's the most annoying machine in the universe.
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[@caboose2163]

'Aw, so you're a waffle man!'

[@guyincognito7308]

you see?? you see what he's like!!!

[@julianaylor4351]

Caboose The toaster asked to toast pop tarts or pikelets.

[@LarixusSnydes]

Well, the toaster clearly can't stop waffling itself.

[@anthonyray1071]

But the real question, the absolute life changing question. Does anyone want any toast?

[@neilfroggycrompton2466]

+Anthony Ray waffles?

[@bradleybrown9920]

Anthony Ray No!

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Anthony Ray shut your grill

[@Omnishredder]

@@neilfroggycrompton2466 ah so you're a waffle man

[@stephenbyrne2170]

NO TOAST!!!!!!!

[@ravenpawfan1614]

The accident involving me, the toaster the waste disposal and a 13 pound lump hammer. I love that line.

[@TheLashDog]

that was no accident! that was first degree toastercide!

[@ravenpawfan1614]

Ha I love Talkie Toaster! "I have one question" ..."would anyone like any toast?" "Yes but I thought you might have changed you mind in the meantime." Also have you seen the video of the guy who actually made a working model of Talkie Toaster?

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Ravenpawfan 161 14 pound lump hammer

[@ravenpawfan1614]

Dan F Ha! yes I know sorry. I realised my mistake but never remembered to change it.

[@naughtiusmaximus542]

Wait! Before you go there is one question, an important one that the others will have to know! Would you like a cheese and ham Breville?

[@SenorKristobbalVLog]

Nerdy fact...Kryten is basically talking to Kryten in this scene. The toaster is voiced by the original Kryten.

[@joshhutchison6201]

Did not know that - Interesting

[@jamescopping2231]

For those that didn't know. David Ross played Krtyen during his guest appearance in series 2's episode 'Krtyen'. When they brought the character back in series 3, Ross wasn't available, so Robert Llewellyn was brought on board where he remained till this day. Ross came back to voice Talkie Toaster here (series 4). The theory is though that Kryten used one of his former back up drives to help restore Talkie Toaster, that's why it sounds like old Kryten.

[@MoskHotel]

In the first series, the toaster was given a female voice. When it comes to reprising a role, the original VO had to pull off the role and the Toaster in this episode had to be voiced by David Ross. Wrong: It wasn’t a female voice. The actor’s voice was given a higher pitch.

[@Razgar_Voxel]

Kryten must have at some point got a new voice modulator and gave Talkie Toaster his old one when they rebuilt it! Jokes aside yeah I remember the original Kryten I didn't care much for them but Robert did a real good job bringing that character to life.

[@Inthatgoodway]

are.....are you a doctor??

[@MaxBennie]

"Well that was no accident, that was first degree toastercide!" - Wonderfully silly stuff.

[@Demon-ft1th]

Oh just shut your grill (Punches the Toaster)

[@winstonmarlowe5254]

Kind of dark too, considering genuine AI clearly exists in the Red Dwarf universe.

[@BenEmberley]

@@Demon-ft1th OW!!

[@jonathansmith2115]

One of the funniest shows on TV, sci-fi- comedy at is finest - the writers nailed it with "Talky Toaster" - "Ahhh your a waffle man"

[@tsm688]

too bad about the laugh track

[@Dibab]

​@tsm688 it was the late 80s or early 90s

[@Demon-ft1th]

Look, it's plain and simple, NO TOAST!

[@dunstalker]

you're

[@jb-vb8un]

well, thats better than a kick in the bread tray

[@noahpierson801]

WE WANT NO MUFFINS, NO TOAST, NO TEA-CAKES, NO BUNS BABS BEGETS OR BAGELS, NO CRASSOINTS, NO CRUMPETS, NO PANCAKES, NO POTATO CAKES, NO HOT CROSS BUNS, AND DEFINITELY no smeggin' flapjacks.

[@ETH5626]

+Noah Pierson Oh, so you're a waffle man, eh?

[@noahpierson801]

Shadowhawk28, see what he's like?! He winds me up man, and there's no reason for it!

[@naughtiusmaximus542]

Shadowhawk28 Now! Now you listen here! You will not offer any grilled bread parts to any member of the crew. If you do. You will be on the receiving end, of a very large polo mallet! Hmm!!

[@ETH5626]

Mad Max Can i ask just 1 question?

[@naughtiusmaximus542]

Shadowhawk28 Of course.

[@SuperPrinnyDood]

This was my first Red Dwarf episode I ever saw, caught it on PBS late one night when I was 9. Never stopped loving this series since then

[@jaysmith2858]

You've got good taste then.

[@boboften9952]

" Fish " " Fish " " Fish " ....... Kat at the Food Vending machine " This is mine , and This is mine , oh This is mine " Kat walking through the hallway claiming everything " So who wants Toast ..... " Talky the talking toaster Perfectly fits Blue Alert to Red Alert " You Know what that means " " Yes Kryton , I Do " " I Have to change the light bulb from blue to Red " ....

[@3000KJH]

But i'm a toaster. It is my raison d'être. I toast, therefore I am!

[@MoskHotel]

Smokey 420 “If you don’t want any toast, why did you repair me, hmm?” “Yeah, why did you repair him?”

[@MoskHotel]

Smokey 420 Same. I’d want that toaster. As a source of entertainment while waiting for my toast to pop out.

[@WardyLion]

NO TOAST!!!

[@LarixusSnydes]

Reminds me of Dark Star, the AI in that movie was controlling something more destructive...

[@sgnjamcitydevteam6913]

We don’t want toast, we don’t want Crossiants, we don’t want crumpets, we want nothing. Can I ask you something? Is it toast related? No Ok go ahead? Do you want some french toast XD

[@markboulton5024]

This is one of my favourite scenes ever. But not just because it's pant-wettingly funny. I believe Grant & Naylor were making a serious point with this - that they envisaged a slippery slope towards making everyday gadgets try to think to much for you, and hound you into doing what THEY think you should want, rather than letting YOU decide what you want (or that you want it all the time, when YOU should choose when you want it, and when you don't). Think, phones that constantly 'remind' you to do things you don't want to do, texting keyboards that turn three keystrokes into 12-letter words your fingers haven't even hinted at (and that you've never even used in the past), apps that constantly try to stop you doing things you way and to do one of the 3 basic things their way their programmers have assumed you'll want to spend all day, every day doing... Sound familiar?

[@AlexOjideagu2]

Sounds like Paperclip guy from Windows XP

[@xxKelseyx3xx]

4 years later its the same shit

[@user-jx8nr9bz6u]

Yes, but would you like any toast?

[@judgebrewer5518]

@@xxKelseyx3xx Ahh so your a Waffle Man????

[@GorehamM20]

Ah, so you're a Android man!!

[@Soundwave1of9]

What is it... 30 years ago? This is still so funny. I still hear this in my head when I make toast. "no buns, baps, baguettes nor bagels".

[@WriterFergus]

So your a waffle man!!

[@jaysmith2858]

It's all good. I just don't want any smegging flapjacks!

[@martinpavlicek2299]

This can now basically become a reality.

[@9wolves2007]

According to my calculations, it appears that 54 people don't want any smeggin toast.

[@neilfroggycrompton2466]

+9wolves2007 does anyone want any toast?,sorry had to ask :D this joke is like a revolving door that never stops

[@9wolves2007]

neil crompton Just had some but if there's any more going then yeah I'm in!

[@neilfroggycrompton2466]

+9wolves2007 perhaps your'e a waffle man then? :D

[@9wolves2007]

neil crompton I actually am! + I'm glad you reminded me, gotta get some more ;)

[@Rowanie]

any your a waffle man!

[@Toongamer]

I'm still laughing over the emphasis on the r Lister put in when he said crumpets

[@Vesnicie]

It's as if Mrs Doyle turned into a machine and changed her obsession from tea to toast.

[@Yukatoshi]

Both tea and toast are awesome.

[@akizeta]

Hell would be being locked in a room with Talkie Toaster _and_ Mrs Doyle! "And you'll be having your tea, now?" "You want muffins with that?" "You will, you will, you will, youwill youwill youwillyouwillyouwill..." "How about some waffles?"

[@Vesnicie]

@@akizeta Oh God make it stop! 😆

[@unclejoeoakland]

Futuredoyle Toastmissus... I think there was a Frank Zappa song about this...

[@mouse059]

FECK OFF, TOAST!

[@AubreySciFi]

"That was no accident, that was first degree toaster-cide!" makes me laugh every time.

[@alanaspinall7147]

In the book Lister brought it to annoy Rimmer, but in the end it backfired as it drove Lister nuts as well lol

[@danielwilliamson6180]

1:47 LOL Lister's distorted face kills.

[@John_Ridley]

I can see right up his gob.

[@owlman2105]

Laughed so much when Talkie returned in season 12

[@iamsherlocked345]

That was so hilarious 😆

[@JaydenDonnelly550]

I think talkie toaster is my favourite comic creation he has a bigger role in the novel where he gives the crew the answer to how to navigate a black hole, but not before making kryten and the cat eat endless amounts of toast before he gives them the answer haha brilliant

[@RichardKellyPhotography]

Great where he takes on the polymorph in the novel too and basks in the glory of saving the crew twice

[@kevinsheldrick917]

The novel?

[@RogbodgeVideo]

I love the way Kryten and Lister look from the point of view of the toaster! (and Lister's reaction at 2:20)

[@moffit1]

You can tell they took a lot of inspiration from Robocop first being turned on in this scene ,and bringing back the toaster was genius😂

[@jaysmith2858]

Serve the public toast.

[@stephenusaf6315]

Uphold the baguette@@jaysmith2858

[@Oliver_JW]

"Look, just shut your grill!" *bonk!* "Ow!" I love red dwarf. Utterly barmy stuff!

[@Meerkat040]

I was so suprised to see him return in season 12. So good.

[@lordasshole2368]

Hey! It's hard to keep a good toaster down!😃

[@eleanorhogan8643]

Lister:Your mother was a coffee maker Talkie:That hurt.

[@alexojideagu]

Toaster version of the windows paperclip

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

The windows paper clip, wow that's going back Windows hasn't been using that for years are you a time traveller from the year 2000 or something?

[@leftcoaster67]

Do you really want to erase this?

[@SagaciousFrank]

Windows XP, as in.... Ex-Paperclip?!

[@alexojideagu]

@@SagaciousFrank yes!

[@VirtualKnight64]

I think they should've released a T-shirt that says "I'm a waffle man!"

[@lauraslade5308]

They really should

[@aqacefan]

With all the other options crossed off of the list =)

[@nuclear_war_games]

It's funny that you should say that cause my sister sells tshirts with a hand print on it that say I AM A FISH. And for those that don't know, go watch the pilot.

[@VirtualKnight64]

@@nuclear_war_games Did she do a little dance and faint?

[@nuclear_war_games]

@@VirtualKnight64 probably XD

[@wisteela]

Pure classic comedy genius. I'd actually buy one of those.

[@troubledspirit3328]

One of the funniest scenes ever. Bloody near peed myself when I first watched it . .

[@DoctorMooCow]

rick and morty owes a lot to this show even if theyve never heard of it

[@WhiteLionel]

The best Red Dawrf episode ever made, it had me in stitches for hours, i cant stand that laughter so much but i could watch this over and over again, and EXPECIALLy no flippin flapjacks :D

[@PimpManeSteelo]

Would you like the laughter more if you knew this was a real audience

[@kylep120]

We laugh now, but we're probably only a few years away from Alexa making toast.

[@ravenpawfan1614]

One question "would anybody like any toast?" That was no accident that was first degree toastercide"

[@pschroeter1]

The show that added "smeggin" to my vocabulary.

[@Thagros]

"and DEFINITELY, no smeggin' flapjacks." Lol

[@razmizrahi3430]

11 years

[@ddthewolf]

"oh so you're a waffle man"

[@llpalm08]

This scene is made funnier with the fact that Talkie Toaster is voiced by the origional Kryten.

[@xBodyLanguagex]

i absolutely love craig charles' accent and love the whole series as well :-*

[@BlaiddDrwg2009]

"First degree toastercide" lmao!! I love Red Dwarf. It is the best comedy ever!

[@buzzabuzza3494]

One of the greatest comedies ever produced 😂😂

[@komodosp]

Love these kinds of scenes, these are what made Red Dwarf! They kind of went missing when Rob Grant left... Brilliantly played by Craig, though - love that he says the Toaster will throw a wobbler but he ends up throwing the wobbler straight away! A sign of years of pent up rage at the Toaster!

[@riaranta3150]

I am on a BINGE! of Red Dwarf ❤️😂

[@MikeyMUnited]

The very first episode of Red Dwarf I ever saw, way back in 1995!! Was hooked there and then.

[@Allyphant2909]

I love how he's like "And DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks" The idea that, of all the grilled bread products he constantly offers the crew, the flapjacks have been causing the biggest arguments.... it kills me 😆

[@KrytenMark]

"... And DEFINITELY... No smegging flapjacks!!!" X''D

[@misterprecocious2491]

"What is my purpose?", "Your purpose is to pass the butter..... to the toaster."

[@michaelrussell3890]

Howdy-doodly-do

[@bradleybrown9920]

Luke Garner What the smeg does howdly doodly doo mean?

[@chesterlockett4002]

Shut up flanders

[@arnoldrimmer7553]

I love to see Listey being annoyed by that toaster all day, they've got an equal IQ, as far as I can tell, Listey might have a lower one

[@moondog4147]

Arnold Rimmer you’re a smeghead

[@EditorOfSL]

“Shut yer grill!” Oh, I love Lister’s accent so much!

[@BenEmberley]

"Shut yer grill" *bang!* "Ow!" LMAO!!!!

[@skovner]

This is what Windows 10 Cortana would be like if it could speak. "Going out tonight? I can help" That was tonight's notice. It has a different one every day. Fortunately, it only puts up a box and indicates there is a message.

[@aporue5893]

when you realise siri is the modern equivalent of talkie toaster. 😄🤣

[@jasmadams]

I love that Rick & Morty recreated this with the butter passing bot.

[@astrasteel6388]

And now in two decades, he's still the same. (And everyone remembers Talkie, even though it's been ages...)

[@elizabeth184]

I can't even have flapjacks now without saying "no smeggin flapjacks".

[@panowa8319]

In the novel, the Toaster saved the ship from a black hole.

[@sirdeadlock]

Had to make like three loaves worth of woefully heated toast as payment first though. And they had to eat it!

[@KuraIthys]

He saves them in the series too. I forget which episode though. He shows up several times.

[@SkyTrapAlASMR]

sirdeadlock “You made me eat seventy-three rounds of buttered toast. Check that: seven, three,' he slapped his rump. 'I feel like I'm carrying around a third buttock in my pants. And I just want you to know this - I want you to live with this for the rest of your life - you,' he jabbed the Toaster with his long-nailed forefinger, 'you make real lousy toast. It's cold, it's burnt, and it's soggy.'”

[@kevinericsnell4092]

1:30 "How about a muffin?" "IT'S MUFFIN TIME! I WANNA DIE!"

[@medievalist]

Haven't watched this in 15 years - still hilarious!

[@IntrigueJunkie]

At this point, The toaster is the Tory party, and toast is their policies...

[@richardshields1488]

One of the best unsung character in red dwarf shame it was only 3 episodes. Still great to watch

[@lh9350]

This is even funnier after watching series 12 😂

[@BazTheStoryteller]

"Ah hah! Here's the problem: Too many toasters. You know what they say? All toasters toast TOAST." - Hotel Mario

[@yuuiuu11]

I just found out this is my English teacher's favourite show - I am so happy right now.

[@onehipdad]

I love RD! I discovered Lister & Co. on my last trip to England. All episodes are available on streaming Netflix. Season 1's ok, but things really take off in Season 2 when Kryten joins the crew and they start doing more remote shots.

[@tricia5792]

"That was no accident, that was first degree toastercide!" (02:45)

[@Genji_Glove]

I don't think it's an added laughter track. Red Dwarf was filmed in front of live audiences.

[@monteceitomoocher]

Very far seeing programme even though it was pure comedy, the script writers were already thinking about artificial intelligence applied to mundane everyday items like toasters, and we'd barely had the Internet five minutes, great show.

[@dogsarefab]

This scetch is class, it makes me laugh everytime :-)

[@terrytickler]

Lol! "No muffins, no toast no teacakes no baps buns baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes, no hot cross buns, and DEFINITELY NO SMEGGIN' FLAPJACKS!"..."Ah, so you're a waffle man!"

[@benjaminA.stantonpun]

I played this on the highest playback speed setting and it was just 2 funny. 😆

[@judasgrl]

"Well, that was no accident, that was 1st degree toaster-cide!" LOL Classic line! Love it! xD

[@jackholmesdiscovereranglos7891]

1:53 Wafflles!, What are we doing!

[@Stantzs]

Wow, I still remember staying up really late to watch this on PBS!

[@SITH-Master244]

" How bout a muffin? " 😂

[@Mezame9]

Does anyone think of this scene every time they make toast?

[@DarkPeter]

Not really

[@FreakHarryPotter]

Nope but I did ask my mum that when she was making toast the other day. 😊

[@MoskHotel]

Yes. Every time I have toast, this scene pops into my brain. Also muffins, teacakes, buns, baps, baguettes, bagels, croissants, crumpets, pancakes, potato cakes and hot-cross buns. And definitely smeggin’ flapjacks.

[@kellystenning2419]

Yes!

[@DragonRand100]

Usually at work, and nearly no one knows what the hell I’m talking about.

[@Oltiemal]

It may be 2024, but I still hold a toast to this!

[@monicamattox72]

the talking TOASTER just classic...Lister falls for it every time such a SMEG HEAD :)

[@griff9899]

red dwarf and jeeves and wooster....best bbc has put on the box

[@clasicradiolover]

My favorite bit well right behind They're all dead, Dave.

[@VickyDowns]

I know this word for word, always good way to make others laugh in mornings. Gotta love Talkie the Toaster.

[@simontist]

I never thought this would be possible, but we're basically here now.

[@Itell21]

I toast, therefore I am. That was first degree toasterside!

[@speedformercy]

I, for one, would absolutely LOVE some toast

[@pschroeter1]

Kryten, I thought I told you to fix the Orgasmatron first!

[@silverdaleks1]

" And DEFIANTLY! No smegging flapjacks.." XD

[@chesterlockett4002]

silverdaleks1 ah so your a waffle man

[@Species5008]

I do believe that you mean DEFINITELY, rather than DEFIANTLY.

[@HairyHariyama]

Wait, I never heard that sound of glass breaking when Lister said "No hot cross buns" before!

[@lauraslade5308]

I think it was him banging the table

[@melissacarl2002]

I read this comment at the exact moment it happened.

[@lusyhognaston3777]

I just thought of this: Toaster:do you want any toast? Lister:no I don't want any smegging toast! Toaster:why not? Lister:I'm busy Toaster:you're not busy eating toast are you? Lister:( walks over to the toaster)your mother was a kettle Toaster:that hurt

[@MondoBeno]

I loved this show when I was a kid. We need a full length Red Dwarf movie.

[@HermanTheNinja]

lol "i toast, therefore i am"

[@joefoley9894]

The scene with the toaster and holly is hilarious

[@naughtiusmaximus542]

Holly: Ask me any question. Any question and I'll answer it. Toasty: Any Question? Holly: Yes Toasty: How to break the speed of light, how to marry quantum mechanics in classical physics. Any question at all. Truly anything and you will answer? Holly: Yes Toasty: okay, here's my question. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TOAST?!

[@chrisbattson1697]

Naughtius

[@Yukatoshi]

Naughtius Maximus I LOVE old RD!

[@kathhudson8475]

If anyone has an Alexa, ask her if she wants any toast 😂

[@user-iz8nm8om3g]

Great series. When it started the actor Graig Charles was worried it wouldn't come across as funny, but he was told just wait and the audience will find it funny. And boy were they right, the writing got better and better, as did the acting and the jokes 😂

[@thomasalderson368]

so did the canned laughter track

[@WeirdWonderful]

I'd take a muffin. But that's just me.

[@caberToo]

If it could make me an endless supply of banana chocolate chip muffins, I'd love the smegging thing.

[@abbyalphonse499]

@@caberToo Oh no, it doesn't make them, you have to put the muffins in first.

[@happisakshappiplace.6588]

I can do a really great impression of Talkie Toaster. :D

[@dan1991woopwoop]

NO SMEGGIN FLAPJACKS!!! lol

[@andybeans5790]

Replace "toast" with "Music Unlimited" and this is Amazon Alexa in a nutshell

[@phantomhurricane666]

imagine a conversation between Talkie Toaster and Ned Flanders.

[@chindleymuffin]

I love the fact that if you ask Amazon's Alexa if she wants any toast, she quotes Lister's line from this!

[@PerfectH]

"Well that was no accident, that was 1st degree toastercide!" LOL!

[@robertcampbell6349]

Toastercide! Brilliant!

[@TheJboy88]

They did an American version of this show with many tropes of American TV at the time, good-looking heroes and jokes that may appeal to thehri audiences. The show was a complete bomb and many people, even in the USA, say that the British version of the show is better. Made me feel much better about my country's comedies.

[@Wodehousean]

I gotta confess, I love toast.