Don't Be A Regular At Arby's. Christian Pieper - Full Special

If You Enjoyed this full Special From Christian Pieper, you'll probably enjoy our other comedy specials as well! You can watch all of Dry Bar's Comedy specials for FREE right now on the Dry Bar Comedy App. Available on all iOS and Android devices.

[@Jayman1clone]

"So basically, Lucifer bought me that tootsie roll." I love this so much because I have my own story just like it. I was working at Walmart, in the garden center. It was the middle of summer, in South Carolina, and the garden center has so many huge open doors that it might as well be outside, except for the shade. I was working the register that day and I had these two old ladies come through my line. Their total came to $6.66, and even though I still considered myself a Christian at the time, I didn't care. But these ladies wouldn't have it. The closest, cheapest thing they could find was an ice cream sandwich, because right next to the register we had a little freezer full of ice cream treats. Neither of them wanted it, so they gave it to me. So that's the story of one hot summer day when The Devil used unholy math to instruct two old ladies to buy me an ice cream sandwich, and they obeyed.

[@alexeysaranchev6118]

Like they say, the Light may have all the blessings and holiness, but the Darkness has the cookies... and tootsue rolls, and icecream sandwiches...

[@rantanarilva7658]

Holy cow wish that happened to me

[@muchwow5782]

Thanks the firelord for the ice cream sandwiche, ooomen.

[@kathleennorton6108]

@@alexeysaranchev6118 For now, maybe, but there won't even be an ice cream sandwich to melt in hell.

[@meganluck4352]

that is a great story, thanks for the laugh.

[@theredscourge]

"Drawrge, Drawrge, Drawrge, of the jungle, watch out for that guy's knee!"

[@fsg2700]

When I was younger I had a cat named Delilah. I came up with a song about her, which was a parody of hey there Delilah. It went... Hey there Delilah what's it like to be a kitty. You're so small cute and cuddly and you're also very pretty yes you are. If only you could drive a car. That'd be bizarre. That's all I got.

[@parmesean_]

B-e-a-utiful🙌🙌

[@banishedfromthedwarfplanet530]

Keep it up, you could be the next Weird Al Yankovic.

[@vincentvincent4898]

fsg Keep your day job.

[@sunnydee196]

That’s cute! When he was little, my son had a rendition of the Black Eyed Peas Song “My humps” aka “My pups”. I don’t remember all the words but I remember “.... my pups my pups my lovely Lydia, check her out”.

[@Ehlaar]

Finish the song and put it on youtube

[@LoriDitchfield]

So happy to see that stand up is still alive and kicking. These young comics are refreshingly hilarious. Thanks Dry Bar!!

[@The_other_Jen]

He’s funny as hell.

[@Queensbard]

Stop showing your age - cause then I have to show my age by agreeing that it is really refreshing. 😅 JK

[@Queensbard]

Stop showing your age - cause then I have to show my age to agree. 😅 JK

[@yaz0333]

Appreciate all the full episodes recently! Great to watch when eating dinner in front of my desk

[@DryBarComedy]

And u can watch all the new full specials, without ads, at the dry bar app too!

[@gwenyverreking5565]

Dry Bar Comedy nahhh not enough storage on ye ol smartphone. Thanks for doing this I LOVE IT

[@yaz0333]

@@DryBarComedy Phone's a bit small, do you have a tablet version?

[@brianfong5711]

I think they finally realized no one is going to download their app to watch videos.

[@Paranitis]

@@brianfong5711 That's what I've been thinking as well. The channel is literally an advertisement for an app you have to buy episodes on. There's no god damned way.

[@KManwarren]

"Whatever You say, black lady." My favorite joke! This guy's a hero!

[@ghostrider2664]

This guy is awesome. And works clean. Hes going on my Uber comedy playlist. Heavy rotation.

[@Wulfenburg]

What a good idea! Drybar has a lot of really good comedians that would fit an uber comedy playlist. :)

[@themostrandom1]

Pun intended?

[@keelanesquivel3854]

dude hook me up with that playlist lol

[@Tennesseanyankee]

That $6.66 bit, a friend figured out a meal combination which would bring up that total at McDonalds by accident, then it became his go to meal lol

[@littytittylitzy1147]

Tennesseanyankee what is it

[@NANotApplicable]

@@littytittylitzy1147 lol same.

[@julianacarragher7323]

Litzy Ugarte depends on the state because of sales tax

[@nickniehaus1763]

It's 3 burgers and a medium fry and a drink

[@nickniehaus1763]

Trust me

[@Originalkeauty]

Omg his wife is a genius!!! Lmao that end joke is perfect!!! I’m laughing so loud I almost woke my kid 😂

[@derekseifert7]

agreed, one of the best setups I've heard in a while.

[@swine13]

Don't worry, your child is still asleep. 👁👄👁

[@InsomniacRocker]

The irony in the skateboard joke is just pure gold! Great comedian!

[@tylersmith9942]

Off to spread the gospel of Drawrge 😂

[@RoswellJazzFestival]

Kind of makes me wonder of that was Weird Al Yankovic's kid. ;-)

[@Culvey]

the little kid missed the best part "AAAHHHHAAAAAA Watch out for that pee!"

[@RoswellJazzFestival]

@@Culvey Maybe Christian Pieper wasn't sure if he'd be able to say "pee" in Utah. ;-)

[@GregJoshuaW]

Yea I wonder if that kid will ever hear this bit actually. lol!

[@askme4450]

I’ve watched so much of my 600 pound life that when he said he’s super fat I was like no he’s not that big

[@PatRiot-]

Your sense of humor is spot on xD I look at people with “problems” and I’m thinking Your doing ok bud I’m glad you can’t see me 😂

[@nickniehaus1763]

Frt

[@austinsharrett9073]

What a strange sense of dejavu when this video was uploaded in December of 2019

[@parmesean_]

@@PatRiot- *youre (sorry cant help it)

[@Pinkielover]

i was 316 now 250 he holds is weight good plus hes covered up..

[@PracticalReformation]

I sold shaved ice. That principal isn’t joking. We were absolutely raking in the money. One time i was working a high school football game and was literally throwing money on the floor because it was piled on the counter in a stack so high it was falling on the floor. I was there for 4 hours and sold $2000 of Ice in a freaking cup. At the end of the event I remember sitting on the floor raking $2000 dollars in small bills together in a pile with my hands and just enjoying having a literal pile of money at my feet 😆 Granted i only got payed hourly but still, pretty cool.

[@comradesky5931]

Typical. The bourgeoisie does nothing but gets all the money.

[@alexeysaranchev6118]

@@comradesky5931 I googled what 'shaved ice' means and apparently it's some sort of an essential product that the poor people attending their obligatory football game can't live without and are forced to buy at gunpoint. Damned be those burgeouse, if only the working class could live without shaved ice or football, we could've lost our chains by now!

[@comradesky5931]

@@alexeysaranchev6118 Comrade, thank you for your comment. You are right: shaved ice should be owner by the workers.

[@maryfortin6295]

@@comradesky5931 The person ageed to the hourly rate..."comrade".

[@comradesky5931]

@@maryfortin6295 How about we make all finances open and bring back unionization. We see what happens when people try to stand up for themselves in the US: They get fired. What other option do they have, rob a bank?

[@29rbs]

When he was talking about how he should have known about the autism, I thought he was going to say "hindsight is $0.50". Oh well :(

[@MacroAggressor]

That would have been a good callback, but I liked his closer better anyway.

[@pedroeubg]

Thought it was .15cents

[@grayskindablue]

Yeah good opportunity for a full circle there. Good catch.

[@pandagod9678]

@@pedroeubg 50.

[@kedabro1957]

Wow. Lots of people liked your idea.

[@LifesGuardian]

This was good, the last bit about the wife tho... "This was our plan, all along." Killed me.

[@BrokenArrowsInc]

Brilliant. Was tough not laughing out loud like a crazy person on the train home. Instead a laughed silently like a crazy person.

[@thelordpotatoesorjtswagste1945]

You always laugh louder when you're trying to be quiet

[@Kayehardy]

same here. I stopped midway and watch it at home.

[@gewgulkansuhckitt9086]

@@thelordpotatoesorjtswagste1945 Especially if circumstances require you to be quiet. For example, I was at a relative's wedding and kept hearing someone farting nearby during the serious, solemn, quiet part of the wedding. I was trying my hardest not to laugh, and almost succeeding when I realized the person doing the farting was my mom and then I kind of lost it. I had to smother my laughter with my hands over my mouth (and nose . . . definitely over my nose.) And if you think about something funny at a funeral, it's suddenly ten times funnier than it normally would be, at least for me. (funeral for someone you don't know well)

[@Omni8Canada]

KZbin is like regular TV now with so many commercials.

[@martinsmith5520]

Get KZbin Vanced. I haven't had an ad in 5 years

[@Tiffany-tw6rw]

Pretty disappointed that they’re so greedy. They also canceled a bunch of great channels where people spoke the truth

[@jacodupreez7706]

@@Tiffany-tw6rw nnnn

[@K4R3N]

But KZbin doesn't cost extra

[@anticouchpotatovegas]

@@Tiffany-tw6rw It's not KZbin. Video creators decide how many ads and when to display.

[@barneystinson2781]

Heard about a guy who was really big and he changed it all when he went to the fast food restaurant he was a regular at and they gave him a gift card for Christmas for being their best customer. He was embarrassed so he left and never came back and started losing weight

[@garethbaus5471]

Good for that guy.

[@noblelewis4620]

Name please? I want to look up this person

[@Wulfenburg]

That's like sad and sweet at the same time lol.

[@swine13]

That might even be why they do it. Isn't it funny that that's all it takes, for some people? You could have your family begging you, see all these ads and documentaries about heart disease and think "eh, im still ok", but the second you feel a little embarrassed in front of a bunch of strangers? Whole life is now changed... 😅

[@kedabro1957]

You have 42 likes!

[@gabesantos9510]

He uses his fitbit for his “fit” bit

[@maryprice8458]

Gabe this is a very underated comment and I appreciate it.

[@ryanhikes14ers]

"... luckily I'm married." I LOST IT! LOL!!

[@robintait5174]

Christian Pieper you're a winner. Thanks for the laughter. I really liked the segment about the 7 year old!! And the texting the man. This is truly your gift to society. Thank you a million times over I'm on my sickbed. This brightened up my day. Your humor is worth much much more than ...50 cents

[@nicolecourtney8688]

I'm going through a miscarriage RN and the laughing hurts but is welcomed. This man is FUNNY

[@dearred2923]

Very sorry for your loss. My wife went through a miscarriage also. I will be praying for you.

[@nonnisusu3968]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost two babies. I’m convinced that when I get to heaven I will get to meet them. I did have two precious babies that have given me 3 even more precious grand babies. I will be praying for you!

[@mollysilverman6803]

I’m so sorry for your loss. 😞❤️

[@mollysilverman6803]

I thought I’d never have a child. Guess what?! Age 42, no periods for 11 months, and I was pregnant. Now I’m 59 with an almost 17 year old girl that the center of My Universe. Softball volleyball Avid, HOSA, Cambridge Academies and has a 4.571 gpa. You never know what God has planned for you. ❤️❤️

[@colonelkernal297]

Wtf

[@BloomfieldIND]

I immediately dropped to the ground like a 300 lb. bag of swearing rocks 😆🤣😂

[@d.e.b.b5788]

I'm a regular at Arby's. Nobody questions that I want extra red ranch sauce on the side, and they don't charge me for that or extra cheese on my beef n cheddar. The girl at the window even gives me a free apple turnover every once in a while.

[@TheNiteNinja19]

Yeah my local Arby's is great as well. They usually can't close the box on my sandwich lol.

[@cyoungledesma]

D.E.B. B you must be cute!!

[@cyoungledesma]

Andrew Hunt you must be a cutie, Andrew!!

[@tippingpointmedia5154]

Love me some Arby's

[@colemanadamson5943]

in my case, Long John Silvers. I stopped every day for years. Got a free meal or extra fish quite often. Once in a while a free one of their cream cheesecake pie thingies but couldn't get that pie very often because that item is inventoried!

[@rooinmaggot1892]

Funny as hell and clean enough my mother would enjoy it

[@worshipgeek]

This was quite funny. If Dry Bar Comedy had a conventional streaming service I could get to from my Roku, I'd definitely subscribe to it.

[@ancientmingyu0604]

This guy is amazing! I love him and if one day I could see him live I'd be the happiest person on earth.

[@Adam_Ch739]

Wow this guy is effortlessly killing it 😂

[@DheerajBhaskar]

I searched for your comment to like it 😀

[@RMBlake007]

LOL, "They're going to let me float naked in a large salt water tank....while ppl walk by and tap on the glass waving....", Highly recommend this video.

[@gryphonsong4082]

I actually WAS tested as an adult to see if I was on the spectrum, but it just turns out that I had just been poorly socialized, tramatized, and shown what NOT to do with yourself growing up. That's why I was and am unintentionally rude at times with people I find irritating. Which is a lot of people..... My therapist is helping me do better though.

[@RUTM2]

thanks for this . Its exactly what i needed to keep me going. I know sounds strange. but thank you.

[@dorab2402]

😭

[@15shed]

Have found dry bar within the past two months, what a great find!

[@robintait5174]

I am too impressed with how funny this man is. That last line was perfect. Laughing out loud . Great great great!!!

[@dnomyarnostaw]

"This was our plan, all along". Priceless!

[@geniuswithacapitalk]

Our*

[@zachcromwell4776]

"What r u wearing?" 'Khakis'

[@circularpizzabox2134]

I am hysterically laughing while doing cross country in my semi truck. I feel like those passing me believe I am deranged 🤣🤣

[@KilotheRhino84]

GREAT storyteller, listened to this one many times! Awesome comedian!

[@9SmartSand6]

Anybody else hoping the rude customer he wound up texting ends up watching this video? A customer was so rude to one of the waitresses at the restaurant where my gf worked that she was close to tears. The manager was no help, he said that was part of the job. So I went over and sat down across from him and quietly explained that if he didn't see fit to apologize, I'd meet him in the parking lot and teach him proper etiquette, Guy left a HUGE tip.

[@QuestionYourWorld]

I feel a savage beating was avoided that day.

[@swine13]

/r/thathappened

simpin

[@Dravis0101]

people that can poke fun at themselves are some of the best kind of comedians

[@landdesigner4195]

As the mother of an Asperger's daughter, I found this endearing.

[@RUTM2]

great comment

[@pannadekadencja]

As a wife with aspergers I loved this one.

[@deactivated1691]

He’s so charismatic lmao luv him!!

[@General1Cal]

That ending had me laughing so hard .... My stomach hurts....good job.

[@lsunbunl7789]

Jesus christ I had to pause the video at "Aspergers Whisperer"

[@colleens1878]

This had me laughing so hard 🤣 thank you for that And the catfishing lol 😆

[@inariokami6696]

When we got to the autism jokes I squealed in delight! I have ASD and I am beaming to hear about someone like me! Thank you!

[@christopherlynch3314]

OMG the text message gag was hilarious!

[@jalight27]

I was legit just listening to this, got a hankering for some roast beef and went to Arby's 😂😂😂😂

[@jalight27]

@@jessicarupe9199 too late, already had me my samich, lol. Appreciate the offer though 😂

[@destree6348]

Señor Ham sounds so good right now

[@nomadiavan6560]

Great comedian. I hope he gets some more specials out.

[@k.h.307]

Hilarious! I laughed out loud so much!

[@WifiMerriman]

the sad part is in our church song book my favorite song is Troublesome Times and guess what number it is,666, so when i get up there to sing it i say with a big smile," turn your books to 666" the newer people that come in always give a interesting look

[@hupernikomen2015]

Just like with verses in the bible. In the synagogue ppl would memorize scripture n they know it by the line in sentence. That's why JESUS quoted psalm 22 at the cross.

[@wideawake13dmtpsilocybin6]

"Spread the gospel of drawerorge" 😄

[@LadyVoldemort]

LoL, funny stuff! I think that Drorge/Drawrge of the Bathroom kid would be going places. 🤣🤣🤣

[@parlance1]

I have autism, and skosh of the tizzy will never not make me cry-laugh.

[@spyke530]

Setting your tinder match area within a mile is how you hook up at a bar with desperate drunk people. His friend was looking for cougars.

[@jaewok5G]

'_' … thanks for the tip

[@billc.4584]

Tru' dat

[@TheNabob57]

the voice of experience speaks... lol lol

[@benjimuskal1034]

Great show, really enjoyed this !

[@loboandsystem]

Ahhhhh comedy gold!!!!! 😂😂😂 "This was our plan all along"

[@TheAdditionalPylons]

The Asperger's whisperer XD

[@Protectobot]

I work at McDevil's and I can TOTALLY back up this guy: I work from the kitchen and I STILL have a chance to look up from orders on the table to see the SAME big ppl coming in 2-3 TIMES during my shift. I guarantee they're not here for the grilled chicken salads cos I send out the orders by MYSELF on the GRAVEYARD shift.

[@Protectobot]

@Evilpimp 3 times a day but only once a week? that's HEALTHY compared to what some of our regulars here in L.A. do :P

[@cannaroe1213]

*_"Hindsight... is worth two in the bush."_*

[@cannaroe1213]

Oh i get it, you were coming back. Eh. I'm not sure it was worth it for the first joke not to hit as hard. My 50 cents.

[@JustinBlastoff]

Lol the drawerge thing killed me I did not expect that 😂

[@shaneferris6742]

He went down like a "Bag of swearing rocks". 😂😂😂

[@agelessgoose2217]

This dude is friggen hilarious! I just feel like I've heard the opener before... Don't care tho!

[@winner327]

Agelessgoose he stole it

[@wesstapley]

This special is about 5-6 years old and a lot of clips got shared.

[@hhiippiittyy]

@@winner327 Stole it from who?

[@phunkybarbie]

I got a Star Wars trailer right after this trailer home joke 😂

[@FreedomUninterrupted]

That daggone Gworge! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣🤣🤣 The gospel of Gworge! I love kids exactly for this reason!

[@shiragoldberg7744]

Full episodes 🎸 rock!

[@SandyHolmes0001]

There's so much funny jokes here, i have a hard time choosing which one . I even had to put my fork down many times to avoid my noodles flying.

[@-themercyseat]

By chance was it the part where he self-deprecated half the set? Lol

[@HellaBeatsOfficial]

This got recommended right after I ate Arbys wtf

[@HellaBeatsOfficial]

@dave c I don't think anyone searched for Arbys, this video was probably recommended to everyone

[@dapperdan434]

There watching you....

[@gewgulkansuhckitt9086]

I've eaten AT Arby's, but I've never actually eaten the entire restaurant. You have a problem. Get help now!

[@teaguejelinek4038]

I got an Arby's ad right before the video started lol

[@jackiehughes414gpg]

@@dapperdan434 😲🤪😅

[@justingeorge4598]

Am I the only one that thinks the drawerge of the jungle tune should have ended "watch out for that pee"?

[@DrFunke]

Hilarious! Made my morning

[@adelaide428]

I'm 140 lbs and 19 years old and I fractured my spine skateboarding for the first time... so it can happen to any of us lol

[@nunsluna8107]

My dumb brain was thinkin you were 140 years old.

[@adelaide428]

@@nunsluna8107 valid point, I edited it

[@swine13]

@@nunsluna8107 140? Well no wonder they broke their spine... 😂

[@jmicjr304]

Hes got those teddy bear vibes

[@AshtynJadeProduction]

“Road hypnosis and muscle memory…” 😂 “Cross-handed wiping…”😂😂😂

[@voicelessgirl4620]

listening to these jokes cure depression ❤️

[@sigillum.diabolii1031]

lmao I went to taco Bell where the total was $6.66 and the lady said "PLEASE order something else" 😂

[@dudeseriously79]

Happens to me a lot. Burger King has Bkursed on their bags. Like, I don't want to be cursed, I just want my breakfast sandwiches.

[@geniuswithacapitalk]

That’s when you say “No, Satan is the reason I’m here in the first place. I said I didn’t want to eat here but I would if he gave me a sign”

[@jaewok5G]

look for the 13 button on elevators

[@fallen4vr]

I ordered from Taco Bell about 7 years ago and my total was also $6.66... I should’ve added something to the order, but I didn’t lol

[@swine13]

Id be like "I cannot, for He forbids it." She'd straight up shoo you out of the store with a broom, lol

[@midniteoilfilms]

Was trying to remember who this dude sounds like and then it hit me; Kyle Kinane. Good set too btw!

[@nicolemerry7057]

"So basically, Lucifer bought me that tootsie roll" LOL

[@stephiegee5416]

This was one of the funniest stand-up performances I’ve ever seen 🤣

[@redfonzie21]

I'm sad because I don't have my own bathroom Draweorge to sing songs about. I'm so disadvantaged, I don't even have a vanity for my bathroom vanity.

[@210abcxyz]

She has a skoch of the tizzy 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 I cried

[@jbyepitsme4330]

😂LOL😂love his stand up💓😂💓

[@gregbilbrey8946]

Props for the balls to do the DT material in front of the red-state crowd. Seemed to go pretty well. He's good.

[@storytime6263]

I lived by a pizza joint back in the day. I was a regular and they treated you like family. Got a free slice by just stopping by to chat some days.

[@rubyhudson9202]

This is one of the best sets I think I've ever seen

[@T1080M]

"that was our plan all along!!!" LOL

[@GrimMortbane]

Drawerge 🤣 we have a big bin at work for the shredding company to collect every month and I call it Shreddy Ruxbin.

[@aaronsmith1023]

AMBIDEXTROUS GANG!!! WHERE Y'ALL AT?!!!

[@___David___Savian]

Zack from Saved By The Bell really let himself go.

[@borlanderobertson5666]

Drybar is one of my favorite channels great comedy I miss living in Provo

[@Queensbard]

😂 Kid "Dwarge of the Jungle, keep this BR clean." kid: *Mic drop*

[@stefanms8803]

17:09 first time I see someone blink with each eye, separately

[@donmack8780]

Lol that throw me off every time i see a person do that

[@ChristianPieperComedy]

My contact was drying out!

[@Underbottom.Sandydown]

He's only 30?! He's really funny to be that young. - All the best, Lucifer

[@jc3694]

Love this guy 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@ShadowTheLight]

Never realized how much I didn't use my right arm (non primary arm) until I attempted the wiping motion and it cracked like I was stretching it!

[@brynleemckague4730]

I keep getting ads for Arby's when watching this.

[@nunsluna8107]

“ algorithms”

[@Marcin-pr2sz]

Drag to end of vid then click the restart circle. Lifehack #1

[@IamthatIam97]

He is so funny i almost peed my pants im in tears. So f-in funny

[@nolanjacobs2892]

Love this guy

[@Mom-a-Dragon7622]

I used to work fast food and if I saw people multiple times in the same shift I just assumed they were hungry or helping somebody else out it's not so bad LOL Lucifer bought me that tootsie roll!😂😂🤣🤣

[@CBKitty]

That's adorable. My brother has asperbergers and he got diagnosed like a year ago and my parents are in denial. They just think he acts weird just cause. I have to be the aspberger whisperer sometimes too

[@destree6348]

C. B. Kitty ❤️❤️❤️

[@wieldablegator5126]

yoooo my dad and both my brothers have aspergers toooooo

[@seeker1069]

10:40 I mean- the toilet itself could be weak. Something structural. But if a toilet were to be weak enough to break under him, I wouldn't trust that toilet at all.

[@robsutton3092]

The Seeker Good points. I hadn’t considered that, in fact, we do indeed trust toilets to perform in a specific and predictable manner. One part of that performance is being structurally sound so that our seated body weight doesn’t break, crack, or crush the toilet.

[@deborahduthie4519]

Very very funny. Great set.

[@marieclark4609]

I love how he said medium fat people that cracked me up😂🤣😂😁😀😆😍🥰🤩😜🤟🤟💛🧡💖💝🍕🧔💺🛫👏👏👏 I love it when he said Lucifer thought him a Tootsie Roll