Don't Be Mad At Me

This is the greatest heated discussion of All Time
I'm live every day / moistcr1tikal

[@emelitaencinas637]

"Born to shit, forced to wipe" -yoda, replies confirmed it

[@mcdasnice6239]

No that's Yoda who said that

[@Markone99]

@@mcdasnice6239 Yoda said that, he did not

[@mcdasnice6239]

@@Markone99 that's what I said

[@Niko-ci8sw]

@@Markone99 I think you meant "He not did, Yoda that said."

[@endster1122]

@@Niko-ci8sw nah Im_Quartz is right

[@amazingamer360]

I avoid any conflict between wiping techniques just by never shitting

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs

[@theshellderinslowbrostail5422]

True Sigma Male Grindset

[@kkeevvinn7952]

True madlad

[@juanaragon9226]

he is the chosen one...

[@shmeediddy.]

You must be Kim jong-un half brother then. He never shits

[@luhburrtorohdus1229]

I honestly did not know just how differently everyone wipes lol.

[@sarahsanchez150]

same

[@Puppy_Puppington]

If you wanna be grossed out look up how Indians wipe and I guess just look up India in general.

[@Jump-Man]

Disgusting lmao 😂😂😂😂

[@ProDxiGy]

When you said “I can’t believe I’m teaching chat how to wipe their ass”, I felt that

[@thegayagenda420]

I knew of this one guy who didn’t feel “clean” after dry wiping so he would dip his tp in the bowl to get a wet wipe. We refer to this as, the Devil’s Dip

[@billfred9411]

This is something I have done after particularly nasty shits and it works. You wipe till there's nothing then you use wet tp once then use dry once more. You normally see shit on the wet toilet paper showing what you missed. Edit: I used sink water don't worry. When I read the comment I assumed he meant sink bowl not toilet bowl.

[@sisseholm4869]

Wtf did i just read

[@snake698]

That guy is closer to using water to wipe than the rest, so he's more correct... I imagine people who only uses toilet paper to wipe also wash their face in the morning with toilet paper, and take showers by dry wiping their armpits and feet because poop is more disgusting than sweat so if they are not concerned about being poop dirty they'll be even less so about being sweat-dirty

[@justmindset]

But...but the sink is right there...

[@gileee]

I sometimes wet my tp in my sink that's right next to the bowl, but that's... disturbing

[@valkyriemolotov8896]

“Sitting is better!” “Standing is the correct way!!” Me who still has my mom wipe my ass *pathetic*

[@Noggenfogger1]

What are you 4? Hmph, Pathetic at 17 years old you cannot compare

[@ayoutubechannel2230]

Penguinz0 is a bad youtuber

[@KeyoneGrant]

@@ayoutubechannel2230 how does it feel to be wrong?

[@metalhead6634]

@@ayoutubechannel2230 A new spammer eh?

[@xoxo8321]

remember me when you BLOW UP

[@modet0beats700]

Her: He is probably talking about other girls with the boys The actual conversation:

[@Cander617]

Haha YUP

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

Charlie is also thinking that it's hard to wipe if there's a wasp near his chocolate starfish.

[@Daterrifictaj]

Bro ur literally everywhere 😭

[@gummmychhh5046]

@឵឵ ?

[@danielestrada1271]

An absolute banger of a video

[@spoon9854]

hello again

[@ceekays]

dude ur everywhere i was watching a vid from 3 years ago and u had a 1300 like comment

[@NostalgiaMan]

Folding is more refined but those who wad paper are true barbarians.

[@hola-sr5ty]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZ-seoB5lLCtebc ❤️😢

[@gojira6759]

WHY WOULD YOU WAD TOILET PAPER?

[@tazziplissken]

Facts

[@sauwensvk7589]

@@gojira6759 wth does "wad" mean?

[@cobraxhyper6724]

Guys when I was a young man, i never had a strong father figure nor did I have a strong mother, so I taught myself how to wipe, and well, I wad my toilet paper, I sit like a gentlemen, but I do indeed wad my toilet paper, I’ve been trying to change but the urge to refrain from my barbaric past is nearly impossible. And for that I’m sorry

[@dr.coomerclone146]

“Born to shit... Forced to wipe...” -every master ever from Oogway to Yoda

[@Fleetstreetbestone]

😂 i can’t man this is too funny

[@thatoneguy2288]

So basically every master from a turtle to a frog? Thats not very many masters lmao (Just a joke i don't want to see any comments saying i don't get the joke)

[@FUN_GH0ULZ]

Hello Gordon!

[@BlackyChan123v]

@@thatoneguy2288 lmao i love that your fear's enough to clarify its a joke. fully understandable tho with some people xD

[@thatoneguy2288]

@@BlackyChan123v ikr lmao i made a joke in the past and ppl were all like i didn't get the joke when i was joking myself haha

[@papaspoon1550]

"If you don't use wet wipes your nasty" - someone in chat

[@handsomemadmario]

he's true

[@eventerminator1382]

Wet wipes clog the pipes. Not a good idea

[@papaspoon1550]

@@eventerminator1382 you're right it will. Imagine walking into ur bathroom and smelling the shit u wiped off your ass in the trash

[@ciderrss9020]

Wet the folded toilet paper

[@mr.misinput]

@@eventerminator1382 they make the flushable ones that are safe

[@DemonKnight94]

Sitting, wiping front to back, using the seat to spread cheeks and paperfolded wipes is the best strat.

[@reacts]

You’re cultured as fuck

[@PM4K]

Can confirm this is the top tier method, but one step above is using a wet wipe first and then folded paper so then it's clean and not wet. God tier

[@OxyPox]

Facts man.

[@simeonemascarpone]

Add wet paper to that and your in the clear..

[@Tongys]

I'm shocked people who stand while wiping are like "WTF??? BUT HOW?" Meanwhile, im sitting here like how tf does you standing up not make it harder to wipe because you're literally smushing it all together

[@Themagickpickle]

Thank you that’s what I was saying like you lean on ur preferred side and it’s not like ur shoving the hand in the water

[@uberboat4512]

@@bamboozledpotat3784 O_O

[@nothingnothing1799]

@@bamboozledpotat3784 cuz if its a particularly dry shit you might pull a whole shit into your balls

[@cfq44792]

@@bamboozledpotat3784 Actually scientists do NOT say you should do this it could give yourself infections and diseases

[@ItsSUPERCAM]

As a used to stand wiper I will say that I didn’t stand straight up I stayed in a squat so I didn’t squish it, also made sure I was over the toilet,but since I have experienced both I’d say standing is more fun, but not ideal for optimum ass wiping capabilities

[@Whispervr]

I could never be mad at you Jesus

[@XD2021]

ᶜᵃⁿ ⁱ ᵍᵉᵗ ¹ ˢᵘᵇ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ᵗᵒᵐᵒʳʳᵒʷ?⠀😢 ◐.̃◐ ~^

[@iLLdUCK187]

²

[@savbeeing7376]

@@XD2021 can you talk to a woman in under 24 hours!?!? (99% fail)

[@hola-sr5ty]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZ-seoB5lLCtebc ❤️😢

[@p3aoh161]

Don’t joke about Charlie being Jesus he actually is Jesus and this is making fun of it

[@Jonas-ic1wn]

Bidet is the true way. I feel sorry for those who don't use it

[@cyclon2345]

Bidet gang

[@fhm4]

but which bidet? portable handheld bidet? cheap sitting bidet? or that Japanese original one?

[@antiinstinct3700]

Gay

[@dylandoes7654]

I use a spray setting on the kitchen sink

[@Spreadthaword]

I use a pressure washer

[@S.B.C-Pixi]

Most superior wiping system: Japanese water toilet

[@Imm23743]

That’s not even wiping. It’s washing.. with a bidet. Like majority of world population do.. I mean America is usually ahead in everything. It just baffles me how they still choose to rub their ass with toilet paper.

[@plokijum]

You feel like a king when bidet washes and dries your ass and you don't touch that disgusting paper ever.

[@ahmadannous9064]

It's not even Japanese it's just what the rest of the world does.

[@antiinstinct3700]

It's kinda gay

[@WizardMeme]

If Charlie was standing wiper, he wouldn't have let his guard down for the wasp to attack him

[@skyguy1236]

he was mid shit

[@weegeebro9649]

ONE OF US, ONE OF US

[@codrin8606]

@about you no

[@santiagoch2451]

Facts

[@Antoloni]

true

[@dhawalsharma946]

"You are literally wiping on ultra-nightmare mode." Gamers always go for the highest difficulty.

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs ,

[@chiefguy44]

i wipe on hurt me plenty mode

[@Rocky-zv9co]

my man

[@sssleon3320]

Bruh, I didn’t think I’d end today finding out that A. There fucking loads of ways of wiping ones back cheeks B. That apparently I’m doing it the ultra nightmare mode lmfao 🤣

[@KarmaAnims]

that's why i use single ply toilet paper

[@quickstrr]

I was a stander for 16 years before this whole debate thing started a few months ago. I tried sitting, and now I will never return to standing

[@hiinsanity]

Front to back then side to side, dig two fingers in if you think it’ll hide.

[@vexcine]

Most will let it slide

[@deucetatum2788]

Just get your dog to lick it out goofy

[@abdulazizabdulaziz6304]

Imagine not doing a backstand to wipe kinda cringe ngl

[@svenrawandreloaded]

tru

[@imsentinelprime9279]

But the blue bells.....

[@gileee]

What's a backstand?

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs

[@RichHobo]

@@gileee standing backwards

[@senpapiplays7838]

Charlie expects us to trust him when he didn't even demonstrate with actual poo... Guess I'll keep wiping on the floor while I flop around like a fish

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs

[@thisKisbranded]

Cool strat

[@AKABattousai]

They gave you a plastic shower curtain for a reason. I don't know why people were freaking out when people were hoarding the paper.

[@ae-_ae]

@@AKABattousai lmao mines clear plastic I can't unsee

[@davedave3520]

Only Americans use toilet paper us Asians use soap and water its much more hygienic. Think of it as washing your hands as opposed to just wiping them lmao it doesn't remove the dirt fully

[@brian601881]

Also I know I’m not the only one who looks at the toilet paper after to make sure it’s still white and know your done so if you’re standing it makes it easier to check compared to breaking your neck sitting down.

[@eventerminator1382]

You can still do it sitting down. I do it. You just gotta lean a bit forward

[@chomuexe6840]

Truly disgusting that some "people" would do this horrible thing

[@DoppaD]

The real sweet spot is a hybrid combination of the sitting and standing. Join me later this month as I will be streaming a Masterclass on the subject.

[@NotKimiRaikkonen]

I'd pay for that. I'd also be down for a masterclass on manscaping, cause I'm basically just hacking away down there...

[@ErzbischofAmurael]

This man speaks the truth.

[@creeksaway]

the infamous squat wipe

[@cof...]

Finally, where I belong

[@toncheky]

Amen. The holy half-squat.

[@JeepZJdriver]

Actually a really fascinating point on the whole “the bathroom is one of the places where you don’t emulate what you see”

[@Lassenissen]

Nobody is truly, TRULY themselves, unless they're taking a shit. That's the purest form of "You" time there is.

[@keepthehoperunning5060]

Right? That had me pondering on it for a minute

[@miked9534]

I used to be a stand wiper, but once I was enlightened about sit wiping I have never gone back. It is great to see such a populous figure as Charles White, known for his acting skills, to speak out about a important topic.

[@HFTVChannel]

The universal agreement is to look at the paper every time you wipe and use it as a when-to-stop-measurement. If you do that much , all techniques get a pass

[@chals39]

Lmao factual. Although, I still don't accept back to front wipers.

[@Yash-os2gu]

@@chals39 I do not understand what “back to front wipers” are, I’m a sitter

[@weegeebro9649]

Agreed. No brown, no frown

[@noahmays5764]

Wiping is much like driving, honestly. Don't stop until you see red.

[@zerosabs3603]

Actually a true fact

[@Learnean]

I dual wield both techniques for the most efficient wiping method

[@spongbong0]

Same

[@ahtomogger9969]

if the poo is dry then i stand

[@stevenwarne69]

@@ahtomogger9969 lol🤣

[@DonSerio]

Same

[@Ghost-64-]

Same I sit for the front to back stand for the back to front and always finish on a sit. I do this to get all the shit crumbs and anything left over is on the front to back wipe. I don't full stand I squat and never squat in public because the stalls have that window at the bottom. Plus I try not to shit in public

[@FallenSkater1940]

just get a bidet and you'll realize this whole conversation is pointless

[@deleteduser84924]

But wont you have literally shit in your bidet ?

[@salierisalieriri7464]

@@deleteduser84924 If you're serious, and I'm assuming you're talking about the hose or whatever of the bidet, they're retracted/hidden by default; you press a button and the hose will extend out and spray water at an angle.

[@petersansgaming8783]

Honestly, everyone should get a bidet. It's life changing. The HDI of every country would increase if they would employ mandatory bidets. We would have colonized the milky way by now if everyone used a bidet.

[@AHeroWith1000Names]

@@petersansgaming8783 This, but unironically.

[@DustyHoney]

Not everyone can afford a bidet.

[@farasapt6579]

As a water hose user in an Asian country, y'all wipers are weird.

[@antiinstinct3700]

Gay

[@sanyousei]

I mean as a stander, the sitting technique is like at least 20% more efficient but I’m so used to standing that I can’t switch over, I have developed even more advanced techniques to make up for the efficiency loss.

[@jebbjibb]

FAKE: as a sitter, your opinion is invalid, therefore,- (please send help, I'm actually a standing wiper but my uncle is very insane and makes me tell people that I'm a sitting wiper, share your techniques, SHARE THEM) I'm better than you, end of discussion.

[@victorhugo-wo2ci]

You got that standing wipe set, respect the grind man its a though dungeon to go through

[@violetwade6528]

@ItsNoxLac Same here

[@mightykat8]

yeah me too

[@_deadly.tears_4890]

As a stander, I was just taught to be that way lmao

[@bloodfest8510]

"the bathroom is the one place without meta" He single handedly challanged speedrunners...

[@watubiasa]

depends on the shits quality

[@pizzahut8482]

Nah, the depending on the shitty situation your gonna need to use different wiping techniques

[@Mullac8002]

The speedrunners just dont wipe man

[@alejandropetit6573]

Green shit any%

[@Aimaiai]

I used to wipe standing when I was a kid, but my parents always urged me to wipe sitting and now I do.

[@thefirminator]

Who even wipes. Jets remove 100% all of the debris.

[@Im_Jakon]

“Number 13 on trending for gaming”, finally KZbin is recognizing the worlds greatest granny speed runner to ever exist!

[@ankithguzz]

The beauty of Charlie's content is that you never know what topic is gonna be covered. It could be a speedrun of a game, ass wiping techniques, a cooking disaster video or anything else!

[@aaelofi7025]

karen, dhar man haha anything

[@tubasil8786]

The best ones are where it’s just an extremely ambiguous title so you have absolutely no clue what your about to see

[@harrytjokroaminoto9212]

He is a Schrodinger's KZbinr

[@Fleetstreetbestone]

@@Garro0 yeah and in Charlie’s case, he is a mastermind of content and humour. So he gets loads of attention.

[@gunfun7772]

I expected an apology vid with this one

[@uncletrashero]

There is a PROPER way to wipe: ((as charlie demonstrates accurately)) assuming you are using your right hand, you grab some toilet paper, about 6 squares, fold it a few times so you have a nice flat but thick pad (2 squares wide, 3 squares thick), you then lift up your Right thigh/asscheek off of the toilet seat, while leaning your weight onto your left thigh/cheek. You then reach, from the side/ slightly toward the back, you reach under your now lifted thigh (between the toilet seat and the asscheek), you start at the front (from the taint), and you wipe toward the back. Your first wipe is one direction, no back and forth action, more a squeegee or a scoop, Designed to remove the largest amount quickly by scraping it off the flesh. then you drop the paper directly. Then you grab a second, slightly less thick fold of toilet paper sheets (4 squares, 2 wide, 2 thick) you again start front to back, then pinch fold in half (trapping the sludge on the interior) and wipe down the sides, and drop the paper. At this point 97% of sludge is removed. You grab a third fold of paper (3 or 4 squares) and this time is the thorough rub down, wiping multiple times around the rim to be sure youve left a completely dry surface across the entire area. Drop the paper to bowl, stand up, flush. Congratulations, you have wiped your ass properly. The ideal time to use a bidet: after the second wipe, you flush, then pop out the bidet, get a good spray down, and use the 3rd wipe to dry the area. Note: this assumes you are using cheap / thin toilet paper. if you have nice thick quilted toilet paper, then you dont need as many squares (perhaps 4 for wipe 1, 3 for wipe 2, and 2 for wipe 3).

[@uncletrashero]

if you are left handed, simply mirror all instructions (meaning you lift your left thigh/asscheek off the seat)

[@Sethhhh100]

Wiping standing up is like trying to grab a soggy taco you have no clue which way its going to blow out

[@ChiefDiorD]

Sitters can’t comprehend standing and standers and comprehend sitting, it’s like Republicans vs Democrats. Pertaining to the argument I do both

[@Michoss9]

Goddamn CENTRISTS are at it again.

[@lennyjohnson8486]

i absolutely agree

[@thethreeofus7036]

NO. Sitters have tried standing and its horrible, but sitting just makes sence

[@ThePianoBoysInterestingHandle]

@@thethreeofus7036 as a standing wiper I can see why you would sit I just don’t prefer it it’s more comfortable to stand and not like feel the cold backseat of the toilet with your wiping hand as you prepare the sitting wipe

[@okairi1249]

I do left to right 👁👄👁

[@LonelySandwich]

Me who wash instead of wipe: "I am four parallel universes ahead of you"

[@25Umbra]

I might try that

[@whyuclick8557]

That’s kinda weird

[@that.one.guy.377]

Wash with a bidet, pat dry with toilet paper

[@suzu5509]

@@that.one.guy.377 yeag

[@suzu5509]

@@that.one.guy.377 but i do that with my hands in soap

[@dignifiedape1528]

I used to be a standing wiper when I was younger, but I forgot to lock the door, and my brother accidentally opened it on me, and from then on I sat to wipe.

[@guy_5229]

I was a stander up until maybe age 10, then something clicked in my brain and was like, this is fucking stupid. That’s some next level character development

[@catreenel]

lmao same

[@muhammadHassan-kj1jy]

OMG ur like an anime character. This is ur tragic anime backstory

[@thealexandsteinarshow3959]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bX-0lHl4epWgj6s

[@Elzaghir]

i literally dont even know how to sit and wipe i just stand

[@h.n.r_funi3324]

I was a stander until the age 23 when i watched jchlatt video about the subject (which was 2 only 2 months ago i think) and i learnt how to properly wipe sitting down which i always thought was difficult because you'll have to get your hand inside the toilet, now I'm a sitter and i feel embarrassed that some dude on the internet had to teach me and that it took this long 😭

[@astroxenox]

I've tried sitting, just feels wrong. I don't really stand I do a nice little crouch like an ass goblin.

[@MCExpiditionX]

The superior way, the elevated squat goblin

[@autistic_axolotl3548]

OMG I AM GLAD I AM NOT ALONE

[@McGummyBear37]

SQUAT GOBLINS RISE UP!!!!

[@PupperTiggle]

bro can i get a pic 😞

[@geekyyahhh4628]

LMFAO

[@bitroplayer7576]

at first i was a stand wiper but then i discorvered this anciant technique and never wiped standing

[@lucashoward5535]

I’ve wait 20 years for information like this

[@Seanologues]

I can’t believe that everyone in Canada hoses themselves out with maple syrup instead of wiping, pretty wild

[@somekidnamedchris]

As a Canadian I can confirm that this is accurate

[@Tph3r]

Pretty... sweet

[@funionlol1954]

Yea im canadian and its true!

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs ,

[@DogFlamingoXIII]

Is the ensuing ant infestation that must result a benefit to the cleaning process?

[@NotKimiRaikkonen]

I wipe back to front, and I'm not afraid to admit it...

[@KennyD_0]

Thank you Charlie, as a born sit-wiper my methods have been questioned many a times including the ones you answered today, I will be sending this video to my stand-wiper friends.

[@kekbumrat]

Then one day, everything changed when the back-to-front wipers attacked.

[@chrom-manandrobin7983]

Dear god

[@andrest6698]

I thought everyone used back to front

[@phoeberrie]

@@andrest6698 you monster

[@Daemonussy]

I have never felt so much fear from reading a sentence before this comment.

[@notlisztening9821]

@@phoeberrie for men this is less of an issue (still insanity tho), but women can and do get urinary tract infections this way, by wiping colon bacteria into their golden shower tube.

[@iForeverImmature]

this means nothing to me without a wipe your ass tier list

[@newlchipson2900]

Agreed

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs ,

[@Nick-km1ob]

I sit to wipe too. Four sheets, folded over one time and then front to back. If there’s a lot on the TP, two more sheets folded over front to back.

[@Mr._Chunk]

I use a kitchen dish hose attached to my toilet plumbing to spray it clean.

[@Guisantz]

there's no hygienne discussion when there's bath, bidet and sink.

[@UpperRobin29]

Hol up... I'm sorry, sink?

[@mwrklester632]

@@UpperRobin29 u dont shit on your sink???

[@Sheridan2LT]

Yeah if ur rich u have a bidet

[@smugbedo812]

@@Sheridan2LT bidet is cheaper than you think

[@nise6699]

@@Sheridan2LT I have a bidet in my bathroom and I'm still not rich, am I doing something wrong?

[@akenomasque]

"you are literally wiping on ultra nightmare mode" i fucking lost it

[@concerned7563]

Same lmaoo

[@John-X]

*PRO TIP:* To stop splashback, use 1 to 2 kleenex tissues and gently place them over the water, these will catch the poo as it smoothly falls into the water and you will never have to deal with a soaked asshole again. (note: this only works if you have healthy, stress-free, solid log shits)

[@darionultra]

The actual top tier wiping method is the squat and wipe, u get cheek separation, thorough cleaning (depending on if your holding the tissue with your thumb with your dominant hand and then grabbing your cheek with non dominant hand) all while getting a solid leg pump.

[@supercactus8]

I do both, sometimes sitting, sometimes standing up, its like a reflex to me

[@TenshoWasHere]

People who use Soap and Water: *is this some filth joke I'm too hygienic enough to understand?*

[@animativepivot5378]

Uhh that doesn't make sense it is more likely that wipers have ass that smells like shit remains

[@thisaintetchief8480]

YOO SAME. dawg soap water and hand is THE META if im being real with ya chief

[@felixis4509]

bruh you guys should try the shower method litterally pewds the #1 shitting master use that method

[@killerdoc1077]

@A A M it doesn't lol

[@MillisecondFourthClockhand]

In Philippines, we call this one tool "tabo" to use for washing our arse with soap and water.

[@beanzo1675]

Sitting while wiping is ineffective against the toilet bandits. Standing let's you properly defend yourself.

[@ashes8596]

Exactly

[@synical_zero0003]

Same, I hate being robbed by the infamous toilet bandits whenever I'm trying to take a shit 😫

[@Devil-tm4nu]

Given the context of the subject matter. I wish to know if anyone else utilises kitchen roll as toilet paper like myself. If u don’t, then I’d like to list some advantages to you. - It’s thicker and sturdy (so you don’t finger yourself) - It’s just a soft - lasts longer because you only need 1-2 sheets to get the job done - And because it lasts you longer it saves you money. - has superior surface area - It’s also great for wiping down surfaces Thank you for reading.

[@efo19wire]

i bet it kinda depends on what kinda paper towel tho, some of that shit is hella rough

[@Devil-tm4nu]

@@efo19wire Personally I Use Plenty. I’d recommend them highly.

[@the_last_comment]

I never learned how to properly wipe, so I wipe standing If I don’t stand, it feels wrong. It feels incomplete, and if I leave it at that, I feel weird. It’s not complete until I stand, wipe, and do the rest

[@eudemon002]

Okay here's my take on this: I was a standing wiper soley for about 19 years, don't ask me how or why, I just learnt that way. I am 24 now, about 5 years ago I spent a night at my friends house after a party. We somehow got into a conversation about wiping after a dump. Out of the 4 of us that night, we realized I was the only one who wiped standing, as soon as they told me they wiped sitting I instantly acted shocked and confused, because the idea of wiping while sitting had never crossed my mind at the time. They shuned me and outcasted me, I felt like a reject. The next day after a nice 17 minute dump I decided to give it a try since they had told me to do so for the rest of that night. As soon as I lifted my right cheek and slid that tp from front to back, I had felt like my entire life changed in that moment, My chocolate starfish was almost completly cleaned after a single wipe. Now as a long time standing wiper I can confirm it took many wipes to make sure I was clean as can be. Over the years since learning of sit wiping I have implemented a new way. A hybrid way of wiping. You start with sit wiping for the first few wipes, and once you are generally clean, I stand wipe by wetting a load of tp and slighty wiping enough to wet my chocolate starfish enough to then use some dry tp to make sure I am beyond clean. I do not own a Bidet, and I am someone who needs to see nothing on the tp to classify as clean. Thank you for reading this.

[@clotho5437]

It is true, standing is a refined procedure. The initial advantage sitters get can also be their downfall, its that they might end up thinking that every angle is clean after that one swig. Not knowing a crust patch is left inside the bun. Standing techniques are more difficult to master but offers the power of safety and self awareness. Continue on your wiping discipline, keep inventing techniques!

[@uncletrashero]

bruv, just get flushable wet wipes. wipe sitting with dry paper first, to remove the large crud, then finish up with a wetwipe, while still sitting. you can get a real SCRUBBING action going that way, your mind will be blown. its the next best thing to bidet (which i still only use AFTER first using dry wipe to remove most crud, and finish up with dry pat down after bidet). as long as you dont use septic tank anyway (flushable wipes will ruin a septic tank)

[@thedapperpineapple8168]

how do i unread something

[@piterpraker3399]

It was almost a story of reform. The inner demon still remains in an arguably more twisted form, corrupting all that could be pure.

[@CathrineMacNiel]

17 minute dump!? How in the world does it take you so long? 3 minute tops!

[@TC-kh1ep]

5:05 his use of the word “poopy” directly after the word “shit” 😂😂😂

[@finbob5]

It wasn't directly after, the word "and" was.

[@kdawgthechef2855]

People are so busy wiping one direction they don’t realize they need to wipe BOTH directions.

[@guidomista5970]

ill never stop wiping back-to-front no matter what twitter says

[@ContactBurrito]

Between the legs the back to front id the utmost comfort Yet few are skilled enough for this technique

[@unknownplite]

Never expected you to stoop down to such a level. Everyone sane knows the carpet slide technique is the best.

[@JustoonsYes]

Eat your cereal

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs ,

[@mengie1877]

Everyone knows the undeniable truth. Twitter arguments are to be left alone

[@aretailshirt3373]

My toilet paper method is more of a hybrid. The barbarism of wadding isn’t present, but it isn’t as refined or time consuming as folding. It’s more of a roll, I wrap it around my hand and slide it off

[@radiumnitrate2288]

the mummy tactic

[@KingNin64]

I've wanted to pick up this technique, but my dexterity level is too low

[@RandomPerson-gt1jt]

Same, I used to wad but now i just make a little roll. Super easy and there less chance of it coming undone while your wiping

[@Dontworryaboutit961]

So do I

[@CarlosianBigWang]

People who wad are animals

[@gothicbuzzsaw]

I don't know why I expected anything else but when the topic came in it threw me for a loop

[@Lb-jk3nw]

The true winner of the bunch is the cheeky little hybrid. Leaning forward and assuming a standing-squatting position, still allowing for ample access, while keeping your wrist safely away from the toilet seat. It's a lean and stand. A compromise with zest. The best of both worlds, the duality of Hannah Montana.

[@seanmurphy670]

Man shitting in public stall. Charlie: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN

[@Kurama420]

Next would be how people shower.

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs

[@Draxlar]

I assume the "Crouching Tiger" stance because it's the best of both worlds.

[@malikharrell2488]

I'm crying 😂

[@shinobi-nikkox6711]

Please, do consider going into detail about this stance and describe it to us 😂

[@indigestionfoo5346]

underrated comment

[@tuser8]

It’s also the most intimidating which is a plus

[@UnknownGamer-cw3uo]

Anahahahahaha how is this not a pinned comment 😂

[@cirger]

I shit and wipe standing up. Not once do I make contact with the toilet. I mostly have evolved to this point because the toilet on our house is extremely dirty, so I've learned to just not sit on it

[@ChaosRevealsOrder]

I unironically asked myself some years ago, "What is the conventional way to wipe your ass? Do you use 1 paper? Do you use 2 for the first wipes? Do you fold the poopy papers and wipe again?", because somehow I always end up using a quarter of the damn paper roll wiping my ass.

[@cracklasco]

This comment section is the official Battle of Armageddon the book of Revelation was talking about.

[@electropoopoo1453]

The great shit wars have started

[@safarijoe5677]

The thing about ass wiping is that there’s so many different criteria’s, like some of the most usual examples being the setting and quality of toilet paper but sometimes there’s more dangerous factors like contamination, and quantity of toilet paper.

[@headlesshunter8435]

Honestly. Its an art.

[@jackthelad6386]

Contamination?

[@jayzell3687]

It's like being a good pitcher in baseball. You throw different pitches depending on the circumstance, not just a fastball every time, yknow?

[@threesomemaster]

What you do a handstand wipe when the quality of paper is low? Explain

[@thealexandsteinarshow3959]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bX-0lHl4epWgj6s

[@primorock8141]

Ngl the way Charlie explained it really makes me want to try sit wiping but idk it's something I've done my whole life so while I'll try it I don't think I can fully convert

[@monarcmusic9180]

I had no idea back to front was not the way 😂😂😂 you learn something everyday 😂😂😂

[@MyDogFulton]

What if someone wiped from left to right? That would be real crazy.

[@thirtienyne3581]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hnqlZWdom82pqqs ,

[@bigballerdefault1054]

Oh god, oh no, pls dont tell me this is real

[@crabemane]

🙄 I do this, but also I like to wet the towels with water.

[@Easy-dx8qx]

Just getting crap all over there cheeks

[@mrhandman4543]

@@crabemane towels... you said towels

[@chabody9371]

I’m an ambiwiper. Whatever feels right in the moment I do.

[@thedoctorsorder543]

…you’re too powerful to be kept alive

[@hamburger2430]

Shut up

[@moshimoshi6158]

is this what they call an "endangered species"?

[@seppalastname4574]

@@moshimoshi6158 nah, its called a "sociopath"

[@lexaproishere]

Same depends if in the mood, definitely if im in a rush im standing but if I got nothing better to do im sitting and relaxing Public bathrooms I avoid

[@kazwells0416]

"I can't believe I'm teaching chat how to wipe their ass" 💀

[@jancarloanguiano5220]

I prefer the sweep method personally. You start with front to back and finish with one back to front wipe.

[@Jeppelelle]

Back to front is the only reasonable wipe, most efficient hand motion, you just wipe the poop in one motion, with front to back you have to first go forward & THEN back which is pure insanity. Also, people who make ball instead of folding the paper belongs in an asylum

[@jasonmf]

Back to front is the only way I ever knew. But people who make the balls of toilet paper deserve death row. Folding is the only answer

[@JustKelso1993]

Agreed, as a girl I figured out a way to do back to front without causing my 'area' any issues. Just gotta know when to stop moving forward with the wipe. It is just more comfortable.

[@Nubbz3YT]

as a sitting wiper, I agree it is superior

[@Nikocado.Avocado]

Ff

[@Nikocado.Avocado]

@ik ur cool cffffg

[@Nikocado.Avocado]

@ik ur cool ggggggg

[@Nikocado.Avocado]

@ik ur cool o

[@Invenitive]

@TenLetters Where did you learn to stand while wiping? Did your parents teach you that? I'm not sure if it's just the state that I live in, but I've never met someone who stands while wiping, and I've always been curious where that phenomenon came from. It just seems so gross and inefficient

[@sverre4319]

CIVIL WAR: Standing wipers Vs. Sitting wipers

[@RGMda]

Standing v sitting was like a mind-blowing argument on Reddit a few years ago. I had no clue people stood up to wipe.

[@armandovaldez327]

I was casually trying to eat and I'm just sitting here listening to Charlie talk about how to wipe. I am complete now

[@Johsther]

same dude

[@squirrelfreak36]

You dont stand and eat? Weirdo.

[@chaseywoot]

You don't crawl and eat? Weirdo.

[@someobscuremusicchannel]

You don't fly and eat? Weirdo.

[@cof...]

You don't moon walk and eat? Weirdo.

[@drinkswatere]

The standing wipe is as refined as any other. The step Charlie’s missing is that you have to put your leg on the counter or bathtub in order to achieve the best of spreads.

[@Uncharted_999]

Jesus Christ 🤣

[@Epsilon7100]

That’s not needed if you sit. Why take the time to stand and then find something to stand on when you can just sit and bend forward a little to wipe?

[@oofmcoofy6769]

@@Epsilon7100 When you sit your ancestors who stood to wipe will whoosh the water at your hand when you wipe I just walk to another room, dig the crust out and throw it in the toilet

[@Epsilon7100]

@@oofmcoofy6769 to stand just is unnecessary. It’s obviously inferior

[@drinkswatere]

@@Epsilon7100 you have to stand up anyways after wiping. So it’s not adding a step it’s the same amount. Yet the proper way which I explained gives you maneuverability you don’t have while sitting. Giving you ample ability to clean even the dirtiest of shits. And you don’t have to reach around and flush with your fingers. You use your foot like a gentleman.

[@ilikeshuckles5466]

I believe that the way of wiping depends on the toilet you learn on

[@Cardenal_]

Iv been doing it wrong the whole time, thank you master teach me more.

[@chitandaeru7239]

This has increased humanity's capacity to understand each other by tenfold

[@giancarlo418]

This is a "truly disgusting that some people would do this horrible thing" moment.

This is a "This is a 'truly disgusting that some people would do this horrible thing' moment." moment

[@owowhatthis6882]

This is a "This is a "This is a "truly disgusting that some people would do this horrible thing" moment." moment." moment

[@roachclaymore428]

This is a "truly disgusting that some people would do this horrible thing" moment

[@ZAsym]

This is a "truly disgusting that some people would do this horrible thing" moment

[@averyepicguy]

chain breaker!

[@Scroll62-Manga]

Cleaning with water and then using tp to dry it off, is the cleanest and most efficient way to wipe.

[@matthiaswarlop2316]

in some countries the water of the toilet bowl comes really high which is why people said you would touch the water when wiping when sitting

[@uberboat4512]

As someone who has transitioned from a standing to a sitting wiper, sitting is far more superior

[@standupwiper9215]

How dare you, you rapscalion you nimwad you dare oppose me good sir come have it👿

[@pgm3012]

The main superior way is having a hose next to the toilet so you can wash yourself,theres no risk of leaving any shit on yourself that way

[@GuzzlingDuck]

You're so brave for coming out 🙏

[@starshooter7128]

sitter shitter supremacy

[@standupwiper9215]

@Joshua Lee you fool what was thus art done😳

[@chinoutugirl111]

"The human brain is super complex and advanced." - The Human Brainㅤ

[@jukeboxluke4672]

I used to be a sitter, converted to standing because a kid on the bus brought it up, and now have gone back to my sitting routes.

[@nerdnehdamian]

I only stand when my legs are so numb to the point that they aren't numb and they hurt.

[@ugyjugy5981]

I used to be a standing wiper. Then, one faithful day, when I was feeling open-minded, I decided to try to wiping while sitting. That was 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since then.

[@bil5479]

Amen...

[@imparanoiiid]

You disgust me

[@imsentinelprime9279]

I sometimes stand or sit. I usually stand to make sure all the poop on my buttcrack is gone.

[@MrSnail-ih1rk]

Good man 👏

[@dozensofknives9104]

I was the same way

[@bryanng978]

As a Malaysian mastering in water cleansing, I'm gonna start another debate, water is more superior than paper.

[@mr.wookiesack]

You cant blast off greasy poos with Only water! You would need toilet paper for testing and final wipe down. Do you just stick a finger on your bhole and smell it to check if its clean?

[@jibbz96]

@@mr.wookiesack you can use both, water initially then tissue. No residual poop and a nice clean dry bungus

[@devilsadvocate9208]

@@jibbz96 Exactly this. The others in the replies clearly do not have a bidet, and if they do the psi is absolute garbage. It is very much better to use a bidet to pressure wash all the shit off your ass as opposed to dry wiping and leaving your crack all crusty. And if your ass is wet after all that then you only need a bit of tissue to dry it.

[@karebuu1383]

Hear me out, add soap to the water

[@liltoaster7308]

@@devilsadvocate9208 Bidets are usually culprits in spreading a lot of bacteria. Also it certainly won't clean as large of an area as toilet paper would, not would it be a precise. I personally think bidets are disgusting but to each their own.

[@Dogtrio]

The combo is the best, start sitting and then give it a stand for a cleaner final product