Don't Judge Me | Changing Judgment When Dementia is Present

This video was created as an additional resource to an article from the Online Dementia Journal - a FREE monthly resource for people living with dementia, families, friends, and professional care partners.
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[@biondna7984]

Because of your teaching, Teepa, the phrase "What're you DOING?" stopped coming out of my mouth a long time ago. I just make neutral comments, like, "Oh, you found your hat." Or whatever. So he can talk about it if he wants to. Or not. We're both freer.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Oh Joanne, you touch our hearts with that ode to Teepa. The reflection rather than correction is a hard shift to make, but it sounds like it has been really effective!!

[@aysekucukkoylu490]

Just love you and your way of seeing clearly for our loved.1's The home.dad.is in just changed his room round after he been there over a year he is so confused and wanting to get to work to get away.from confusion as he knows something is different .... so much for the experts

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thank you Ayse, those are very kind words. This is Dan from Teepa's team, I hope you are doing well. How frustrating it must be for you and your dad that they changed things on him. Regardless of dementia, most of us tend to be creatures of habit, so any sudden change - especially when we didn't make those changes - are hard to accept. If you haven't already, we'd love it if you subscribed to our channel so you can find out when new content is added, share it with others, and visit our website! teepasnow.com

[@brendablake584]

I stumbled across your channel when my mother was in her last few months of life. I was and am SO appreciative of the knowledge and wisdom you share concerning memory issues. Sage advice: Check yourself- just because YOU don't see a reason for a behavior doesn't mean the other person doesn't have a good/ reasonable reason for it. I know I often have reasons for things which others may not see- but will rarely ask me for my "why". I find this rude and demeaning. How much more for someone perhaps struggling with judgement/ memory issues.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hey Brenda, you really got it!! Thanks for sharing and connecting with Teepa's message. Great advice to stop and think before jumping to conclusions! We are also glad you stumbled across this information, if anyone would like to learn more about what is going on with dementia as a friend or family member, check out our 5 week Care Partner Support Series: teepasnow.com/services/consulting/care-partner-support-series/

[@jenniferwyatt8945]

My widowed conservative father is all of a sudden super liberal and a younger woman is very much taking advantage of him and his wealth. Now dad thinks I'm being mean when I say " she is walking right into your house & has access to his ...everything- he sold two properties that meant a lot to him. He is constantly in the emergency room. This woman brings him & fails to tell me- it's very overwhelming & so much more to it. No one wants to say anything for fear of being cut off from his money. I'm his target these days. Doctors only look at his heart rate . Not his brain

[@GM-yn9nc]

Maybe you're jumping to conclusions and they are in love. Have you thought about that?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Wow Jennifer, sounds like a lot has changed for all of you! That can be confusing and hard to navigate. If you would like to talk for a free 30 min session, our PAC Consultants can work through some of the stuff to figure out something to try: teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/ Or reach out to [e-mail] to get a PAC Team with Teepa session that is recorded and shared for others who may be going through something similar.

[@elizabethowens8548]

We have the same thing with my mother in law a street musician 15 years younger 65 has ingratiated himself to her and she's drinking alcohol with him at the Florida condo and leaving my father in law alone up north

[@jenniferwyatt8945]

@@GM-yn9nc My mom died not that long ago & was married to my father almost 50 years. This woman knew my parents for years as they went to same church. My Dad is not in love with her, although it is a obvious what she is in love with.

[@TheGeekMonster]

My first instinct (and I haven't watched the whole video yet) is that maybe the headphones cause some kind of discomfort on the person's ears, so they're using the hat as extra cushioning. Or the person might be mistaking the headphones for earmuffs, to go with their pretty knit hat; maybe they're recalling a snowy, cold day from the past!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Geek Monster, you totally get it! Great pause and think moment before jumping to any conclusions! Nice work, keep up the curiosity to keep Teepa's messages going.

[@TheGeekMonster]

@@teepasnowvideos Thank you so much! I'm currently working towards my Behavioral Science degree, and working in a long term care facility, and I'm really glad I was introduced to Teepa's material!

[@tickytootoo453]

you're awesome!! thank you for all you do !! these help me so much!! God bless you and keep you!!

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are so welcome! Teepa and the PAC Team are so glad that we can support you along this journey.

[@oakfat5178]

Hi Teepa, Thank you so much for your presentations. You convey the information in a way that is more relatable and human than most, and there's a huge need for the work you do.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hello, @Oakfat! So glad that you find our videos relatable and human. That's what Teepa and our entire team strive to do.

[@wendysmith8615]

Wow! Exactly what I needed to hear today!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Glad it was helpful!

[@superm0m0f03]

Perspective is the word on the street, has been for a long time. Everyone has one and we all see things from a different angle. Like when I just need to get out the door on time and don't care if my socks match or not. I just need a piece of fabric over my toes to put inside my shoes! The dryer ate my sock or it fell behind the hamper and did not get washed with its mate! The morning rush can make it look like one does not have good judgement when it comes to fashion, but it may just be that getting to work or school on time wins over this time!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Yes Sandra! Perspective:)

[@deniesekline-thatcher8380]

Agreed loved the hat 👏👏👏

[@stayhappylittlemermaid]

You shouldn't apologize for being who you are.

[@teepasnowvideos]

You got it mermaid, let's all be proud and do the best we can! Thanks for your support.

[@aysekucukkoylu490]

Bless you I thought you were.just ready for the web cast xx

[@teepasnowvideos]

Haha Ayse! Thanks for noticing that Teepa is always ready for a show:)

[@mialorenzen3538]

Teepa: This was super helpful!!! Thank you so, so much!! ❤❤❤

[@brendacampbell3915]

I didn't think anything of it all I do it all the time lol

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hey Brenda, thank you for reaching out :) This is Dan from Teepa's team and I'm wondering what it is you do all the time. I know it's been a while, so you may not even remember, but I'm curious. Hope all is well!

[@63emeralds74]

So helpful

[@eva_marie633]

I wish I would’ve found you 13 years ago before my mom passed away. She had dementia and I handled her repeated questions totally wrong…and oh SO much more!! Thank you for doing what you do!! I love you!❤

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @Eva, we're sorry that you didn't find us sooner, but we are glad that you are here now.

[@elizabethharp6754]

No captions! Accessibility is important.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @Elizabeth Harp! Thanks for the suggestion. Totally agree that accessibility is important. We will see what we can do to add captioning as we make new recordings. KZbin does have an ability to turn on captioning for people (the closed caption box in the lower right of the screen will do that).

[@elizabethharp6754]

@@teepasnowvideos Yes, and that is what I use for most of the videos. However when I tried to turn it on for this one, it said “captioning not available”. Perhaps something was not selected or was deselected for this particular video?

[@stanhensley3082]

Thanks for helping us think 🤔.Your Mom was very good at making things out of yarn 🧶. Did a good job of raising a thinker too.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thank you! 😊 Yes, the beauty of what Teepa does is think about things differently! There are so many ways to engage live with Teepa... See if anything works for you and you can tell her yourself: teepasnow.com/services/online-learning__trashed/webinars/