Time with Teepa: How Can We De-escalate Someone That is Agitated?

[@k.c.8535]

Oh, Teepa, if only others had the patience and compassion.....and most of all common sense as you....better world it would be.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thanks, @k.c.8535! Patience, compassion, and curiousity can go a long way for sure!

[@AprilSheldon]

Being patient and having a lot of compassion would be an idea I would think

[@lizzydonegan]

Gosh - my mom is in sudden aggressive dementia. I’m in tears. I thought compassion was trying to show her reality. Thank you for this. Sharing with all family

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @lizzydonegan, so glad that you found us. I'm sorry that you are in tears, but you have been doing the best that you can with what you know. If you would like to learn more, please check out this section of our website (teepasnow.com/resources/for-families-and-friends/) or contact us at [e-mail] for a free 30-minute session.

[@seabee5695]

"No he doesn't. He needs to be LISTENED to!" Thank you Teepa for All that you do in teaching care givers better, more effective and harmonious ways to improve outcomes for both patients and care staff. Your efforts are greatly appreciated and it is my hope that all care facilities, large or small, would institute regular trainings featuring your methods. 👏👏👏

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hey, @seabee5696, you are welcome. Let's hope that more people come willing to learn and be curious (like you) too. If you know of any places that might want to know more, have them check out this section of our website (teepasnow.com/dementia-education-for-organizations-overview/) or contact [e-mail] to connect.

[@CherylAnnHaley]

just sent this video to a staff member who called cause my Mom wouldn’t change out of her pajamas. of course I’m still in my pajamas so maybe it’s not that big of a deal

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @CherylAnnHaley! It sounds like you and your mom like to live life the same way. Keep sharing with those staff members. I love how you continue to be such a strong advocate for her!

[@lydiawilliams3117]

After so many years of "Children obey your parents" and "Because I said so" it is really hard to stand up to them without feeling guilty, even though I know it's for the best.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @lydiawilliams3117, I'm wondering if we could think that we are meeting the person where they are and trying to support them instead of "standing up" to them. If you would like to learn more about how to feel more comfortable connecting and supporting, please check out our Champion Courses (teepasnow.com/services/one-day-public-skills-champion-course/) or give us a call at 1-877-877-1671.

[@Practical_Dementia_Care]

Every caregiver (in facility or home) needs to watch and learn under you. Thank you. 💗🙏🏻

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thanks, @Practical_Dementia_Care. We would love to be required education for every care partner. Please feel free to share our information with those you know and have them check out ways that we can provide education (teepasnow.com/dementia-education-for-organizations-overview/) or call us at 1-877-877-1671.

[@ursulaivonoffski2156]

You are a blessing to all of us - those in need and those of us who are 'care-givers'

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thanks, @ursulaivonoffski2156! We are happy to help carepartners everywhere.

[@darlenecarman7644]

WOW! what a great place to start rather then take a breath in. This is so true so helpful and so needed to continue to get skilled in. I am all in for some Master champion classes. Support helps someone to feel safe, breath and ground .When someone is agitated they do not feel safe, for me keeping a connection with calm is part of the care. Thanks Teepa and MC

[@teepasnowvideos]

Great, @darlenecarman7644! Here's a link to learn more about our champion courses (teepasnow.com/resources/for-professionals/#knowledge). You can also visit www.teepasnow.com for more info.

[@dea784]

Let us pray for compassion. My husband is always mad at me. I feel bad. I've been dealing with him like it's his fault. I'm going to get curious.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @dea784, compassion is definitly needed when working with someone living with brain change. I'm sorry that you are feeling bad. If you would like to know more about what's happening, please check our about dementia section on our website (teepasnow.com/about-dementia) or if you'd like to take a class to learn more, consider trying our Care Partner Support Series (teepasnow.com/services/consulting/care-partner-support-series/)

[@andreahawkins5890]

Most of the workers I've worked with make me do all the work or all of it. Cleaning services and everything else. It's been going on 6 years for me. My back is torn up. I've recently called her doctor and it's 3 weeks he hasn't even gotten back to me I asked for hospice and care aids I'm literally on my last wheel 😂

[@teepasnowvideos]

Wow, @andreahawkins5890, it sounds like you have been doing this a long time by yourself. I'm sorry that your health has become affected. I hope that you have been able to get some help at this point. Please reach out to our team if you would like to talk about some possible other options. [e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671.

[@judithhausner4455]

Good discussion. Thanks for keeping time to 15 minutes or less.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Glad you enjoyed it, @judithhausner4455! We are trying to do more short videos, but if you ever need more information, please visit www.teepasnow.com or consider becoming a subscriber to our channel (kzbin.info/door/SXrEX7LkWOmfTaV6u1C7wQ) so that you can be notified when we add new content.

[@GilliMarieMoody]

Wow. Your role-play was so helpful.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Glad you think so @GilliMarieMoody! Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@janr.1077]

I love it, Teepa!❤ Let's get curious!😊

[@teepasnowvideos]

Yes, @janr.1077, let's get curious for sure! Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@heleneparker6441]

Thank you, thank you. As primary care giver to my husband with FTD diagnosed in 2017, but now ovbiously there long before, your videos have been my ' go to' place for info, help, support, understanding and huge ' ah ha! ' moments.❤ My greatest wish would be that here in Spain more staff in hospitals understood dementia and how some of their actions,appear threatening. I feel i am always the educator...and the student. I wish nurses & auxillary staff learned about mental heath as part of the general training, they dont have a,clue!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @heleneparker6441, first thanks for watching and commenting. We would love to help make your greatest wish about staff in Spain come true. If you know of a group willing/wanting to learn, we could talk with them to learn more and bring the programs into their work. Please connect with our team through [e-mail] or have them check out this section of our website (teepasnow.com/dementia-education-for-organizations-overview/)

[@sarahjohns-goodman6098]

Asking my Patient if he'd like a Shower, something to eat, if he needs the restroom etc ( pretty much ANYTHING)..He IMMEDIATELY starts Swearing , screaming, making faces, Threatening me with Hammers & Guns.. Full Blown Temper fit. He does this to his Daughter & 91 yr old Wife too. I am BEYOND FRUSTRATED as a Nurse & professional Caregiver. ( this has fine on since February 2024..it's now Mid-August). He's unable to walk without assistance, shower, 100% bladder incontinent . Can not perform Any ADLs. HELP😢

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @sarahjohn-goodman6098! So sorry to hear that you are beyond frustrated, it does sound like a difficult situation for all of you. I'm wondering if you would liket to setup a free 30-minute consult with one of our mentors to talk through this situation and do some role play. Complete this form teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/ to get connected with us. You may also want to check out this video (kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHTNh3alnLidhKc). I'm wondering if it's how you are asking the questions or responding to him that might be an issue.

[@sarahjohns-goodman6098]

@teepasnowvideos he's blind in his r8ght eye. I take care to approach him from his left side Slowly.. Your videos are helping a lot. He's now refusing to get into his walk in shower.

[@sarahjohns-goodman6098]

Ive been TRYING to. All i get is emails wanting me to pay a subscription. ​@teepasnowvideos

[@Jane-yq6yq]

Why is he copying your hand movements?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Great question. Matthew is reflecting what she is doing because it shows some people that they are being heard and focused on the conversation at hand.

[@dance4bliss]

This seems similar to redirecting a person?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thanks for sharing, yes it can be.

[@papadingo]

Absolutely. Get frigging curious. Love your work, dear PAC teams.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @petergooley8732! Nice to see you commenting here (from your friend, Shelly). We know that you are using curiousity and your own PAC skills where you are too!

[@1GoodWoman]

-this is needed general relationship building.

[@RS-rt5jy]

Thank you so much for this information; your channel is invaluable in helping me come to terms with my grandmother's dementia diagnosis

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @RS-rt5jy, so glad that you find this channel invaluable. We are glad to be here for you. If you would like more, please visit www.teepasnow.com or if you want to connect with someone, please email [e-mail]

[@tintrach]

I am completely lost with the sign language thing,,,,,,,, WHAT??????

[@tracyconabeer3532]

All the hands are actually distracting me 😮😂

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @tintrach and @tracyconabeer3532, thanks for reaching out and asking about the sign language/hands thing. Teepa and Matthew were using a technique we often use to help people understand the Amygdala (the thumbs in the middle) and then the 5 things that the Amygdala does as memory tools. We definitely didn't mean to dstract or confuse you. That shouldn't have happened. I will say that as a member of Teepa's team we are all used to showing visuals when we are discussing things and you are right that it doesn't work for everyone. I hope that you were able to get some information from the video. If not, please reach out to us at [e-mail] or [e-mail] to talk about it. We'd be happy to provide more information or other resources.

[@jenscouponacct5048]

How do I apply this to my mom and aides now having to administer her meds (which are now locked up). She can’t let go of this it’s so upsetting to her but I guess bc she went decades taking her own (many) meds…

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @jnscouponacct5048, we would love to talk with you more about this situation. I'm wondering if taking a look at how the aides are engaging with her around the meds. You do understand your mom well - yes she has been taking her own meds for many years, maybe there is a way for her to feel like she has some control in the situation. Please contact one of our consultants for a free 30-minutes session [e-mail] or you may want to check out this webinar (shop.teepasnow.com/product/medications-and-mealtime-concerns-and-options-for-gems-states-recorded-webinar/)

[@annepatrone3873]

This is great. Can you show these techniques with an actual Alzheimer's patient? I believe it would be completely different in reality.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi @annepatrone3873, if you would like you can reach out to our team and we can support you. Take Care

[@ntolbert6809]

What if they are looking for their keys to their care frantically because they see their car daily that they can not drive? How should or should we get rid of the car without upsetting him?

[@teepasnowvideos]

@ntolbert6809, that is a great question. Here is an article that I hope with help answer this. We also have other videos on KZbin if you search 'driving'. You are also welcome to utilize our free 30 minute consult at teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/.

[@yvonneburg4883]

Teepa Snow has teached me so so much my husband is in the stage of not remembering anything to many things Teepa has been really good for me thank you so much

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are very welcome, @yvonneburg4883! Glad that we have been able to be good for you.

[@racheldemain1940]

Taught not Teached.

[@strangethings1139]

Omg come to my house and deal with my dad 😭😭

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @strangethings1139, we'd be happy to meet with you via phone or zoom to discuss things and a visit might be possible. We offer free 30-minute consultations as well as a number of education classes to help you. Please email [e-mail] or visit www.teepasnow.com for more information.

[@lizzydonegan]

How can I find out if the memory care places we are looking into have staff trained in this type of philosophy?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @lizzydonegan, great question! We have a few organizations around the world using our techniques and many people trained in the techniques as well. Please check out our designated organizations (teepasnow.com/relationships/pac-designation/) and our certified community (shop.teepasnow.com/pac-community-members/) for more information or call us at 1-877-877-1671.

[@sillycanadians6407]

what about when there is a request that cannot be fulfilled? like driving?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi @sillycanadians6407, that is a great question. Here is a video on that www.tiktok.com/@teepasnow/video/7292001409271205162?q=teepa%20snow%20driving&t=1726101553637. Let us know if you have any other questions.

[@soulsecretservice]

Thank you - THANK you - Thank YOU!

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are SO welcome, @soulsecretservice!

[@denisesavoye6884]

My Sister and I are caregivers to our Mother , who has dementia. We love watching your videos. We have the most trouble with ur Mother between the hours of 5-7pm. She is determined to go home and wanting to go out the door. We’ve tried talking to her or with her. She clutches her chest and begs us to take her. She is 93. We have started giving her medical marijuana, but just don’t see a difference.

[@denisesavoye6884]

We also have started taking our mother for car rides which she loves, but she doesn’t want to come back in the house then.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi @denisesavoye6884, it sounds like you are all experiencing what many people do towards the end of the day. If you'd like to talk through some ideas, please reach out to our team for a free 30-minute consult. [e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hey, @denisesavoye6884, you mat also want to check out these articles on our website (teepasnow.com/search/?search=sundowning) to better understand what's going on.

[@loraleelakin5024]

I just take my 93 yr old mom for a ride then and when we drive back onto the garage, she feels back home.

[@GodBlessYourSoul777]

Careful, if you aren’t seeing a noticeable benefit from the mmj it might be worth eliminating it. I thought it was helping my dad but it wasn’t, and he wasn’t able to communicate that.

[@roseycheeks8175]

Teepa we have a 46 year old son with FTD, any advice as how to get him to stop peeing everywhere

[@teepasnowvideos]

@roseycheeks8175, thanks for reaching out. Here is a video to get you started on FTD kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z4jNkmBug72Nracsi=5DCNv2Y-zzRM994W, and here is a link to our free 30 minute consult with a team member teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/. Reach out and a team member will contact you with a good time to talk.

[@anitaupchurch3879]

Thank you from a long term care pharmacist. Get curious!! Love it

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are very welcome, @anitaupchurch3879! Let us know how your curiousity gleans good results - email us at [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671.

[@ElizabethAhlgren]

This was sooooo helpful. Now to put it into practice. Thanks!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Good luck, @users-uk7gz1wy3y putting this into practice. I know that you can do it! But reach out to us if you have more questions, [e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671.

[@257rani]

Thanks Teepa❤

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are very welcome @257rani!

[@RichardServillas]

Appreciate the short videos

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thanks for that feedback, @user-nr1dj2ts7k

[@pamelaclewis764]

Excellent information & much needed 👏🏾

[@irmapena9319]

Freaking thank you dear Teepa & Matthew

[@jennifermccalmon9375]

Any advice for me - my dad was abruptly moved to memory care after exit seeking multiple times (wandering while smoking outside). He was forced to quit smoking cold turkey bc they aren’t allowed on that floor. I’ve been his “cigarette lady” buying them for him for months. Now when I come he asks for cigarettes multiple times within minutes. When I take him out he’s always looking for where we can stop but I make up excuses or blow him off. 2 weeks in and they aren’t working anymore and he’s getting aggressive and angry with me - I don’t care if he smokes I’m just the messenger. I’m also the trigger - he doesn’t mention it to anyone but me. I now want to avoid seeing him and for sure taking him anywhere. Any advice - this is excruciating! I also have my dementia mom to deal with.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @jennifermccalmon9375 - wow that sounds like a very difficult situation for both of you. I, of course, have more questions than answers right now. Is anything being done to help your dad with his nicotine withdrawl? It sounds like this habit was taken away from him abruptly, but what was given to him as a substitution? I have so many more questions. You should still be able to see him and have some ideas of what to do/say when you are there. Would you be willing to reach out to our consulting team for a free 30-minute session? Please call us at 1-877-877-1671 or email [e-mail] to start the discussion.

[@annefagrew5807]

Hi Teepa, another great video... BUT what should I do as a live in private carer? I had a situation like this , where my client decided she wanted to "go home" in the middle of the night. (she had dressed in coat shoes , hat & even her handbag) I tried to persuade her to wait until it was morning to no avail. She became very angry. I had to wait it out, eventually I was able to get her to come & sit in the lounge & have a cup of tea & a biscuit... Even at the time, I felt I didn't really handle it properly, & even more so now after watching this.. Warm regards , Annie

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @annfagrew5807, thanks for reaching out with your question. We have a number of videos about the "go home" situation. Here's a search for a few of them (www.youtube.com/@teepasnowvideos/search?query=go%20home). You may also want to connect with our team to talk about your specific situation. We offer 30-minute free consultations at [e-mail]. We'd love to help you figure out your different situations.

[@collettesaxe9718]

Thanks for sharing!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Our pleasure, @collettesaxe9718. Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@janem3575]

I enjoy your videos Teepa. In this specific situation where the person wants to go out, how does one deal with the issue with staff availability to accompanying the resident for that outing?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @janem3575, sorry it took us so long to respond. If a person wants to go out and there is an issue with staff availability are there other people who could help or are there changes that could made in the environment to allow a person to go out safely on their own? What other ideas could you or staff come up with to try out? We don't always have the answers, but we are always willing to help you figure things out. If you'd like to talk more about it, please, check out this form on our site (teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/) for a free 30-minute session. or call us at 1-877-877-1671.

[@raragirly]

So helpful. Thank you

[@onthehill3381]

My mom goes from zero to 100. She was okay one minute, next minute found a wrench and tried to hit me with it and was kicking me. I had to wrestle it from her. No time to talk her down.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @onthehill3381, that sounds like a difficult situation. I'm wondering if you would like to connect with our team to see if we can help you figure out what might be causing the changes. We offer free 30-minute session. Email us at [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671.

[@CindyStroud-c6d]

I love all Teepa's help. She refers to revamped Gems info and I cannot find it anywhere. Would love to be informed!!!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @user-fx6jl4mn6v! So you are wondering about some Teepa's new thoughts regarding her GEMS state model. Here's a link (kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZeTlnmdZ9OngZI) where she talks about it. You may also want to check out our Care Partner GEMS Series (shop.teepasnow.com/event/care-partner-gems-series-six-weekly-sessions-beginning-nov-6-2023-dec-18-2023-100-pm-300-pm-et/) for a deep dive.

[@CindyStroud-c6d]

love Teepa's help. She alluded to updates on her ideas on gemstates and I'm unable to find. Can you help me?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @user-fx6jl4mn6v, please see my earlier response to this question.

[@animlkeepr]

What if she's agitated because she's determined he's cheating

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @animlkeepr. You ask a very specific question. I'm wondering if you would be willing to connect with one of our team members to explore the situation. We offer free 30-minute consultation for just this type of question. Please reach out to [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671. We are always very curious about why people are reacting/responding with agitation. We would really like to help you problem solve it.

[@SueAHolder]

I need to know how to get my HWD to let go of his shoes then trousers so we can get wet depends off and dry ones on. He absolutely does not understand…..

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @user-In2fn7yg2h. It sounds like you are having issues helping your person understand the various steps in changing cloths. I'm wondering if these videos might give you some ideas (www.youtube.com/@teepasnowvideos/search?query=dressed). You may also want to connect with our team to talk through the situation. Please contact us at [e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671.

[@DewiiAljoe]

Great information

[@susancataldo]

This is great! I deeply appreciate all your videos!!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Glad you like them, @susancataldo! Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@leannfisher7155]

So what the heck happens when you can't take him out as a partner - what next! That started the distracting with the hat - and making a connection - what next?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @leannfisher7155, it sounds like you have more questions, please reach out to our consulting team ([e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671) for a free 30-minute session to explore the next step for you in your situation. We are happy to help.

[@bell10877]

This is TOTALLY BRILLIANT. Thank you.

[@teepasnowvideos]

You're very welcome, @belleheywood7109!

[@irmapena9319]

Studying this one many times. Thank you

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @irmapena9319! Glad to know that your are studying this video many times. Good luck using the techniques!

[@shottinyc]

What' are these two doing with their fingers? is this in another video?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi @shottinyc, thanks for asking. There is a couple of things going on here; Matthew is showing Teepa that he is listening to her. The gestures help show that he is absorbing what she is saying, similar to reflecting back to someone what they said. Another thing is they are using the gestures to represent the Amygdala (thumb) and the 5 things it does as a memory tool. I will see if we can get an updated video explaining the gestures and what they mean. Thanks and take care

[@GloriaWard-e4e]

Thank you for the good advice

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are very welcome, @user-hs5um3lk1k!

[@producerlinda7109]

My angry dementia mom brings me to tears.

[@teepasnowvideos]

I'm so sorry to hear that @producerlinda7109. Interacting with an angry mom can be so hard. I'm wondering if you would like to talk about things with someone. We have a number of consultants who will listen and provide resources/ideas for you. Contact us at [e-mail] for a free 30-minute session or visit this section of our website (teepasnow.com/resources/for-families-and-friends/)

[@irmapena9319]

Gracias Teepa & Matthew. WOW!

[@teepasnowvideos]

You're very welcome, @irmapena9319!

[@pamelaclewis764]

😊😊😊

[@MichaelRamey-t7r]

❤

[@mariamaria_4957]

Thank you.I am a PSW and I would like you to know that your channel and content helps me a lot with my day to day journey as a new PSW.

[@teepasnowvideos]

So glad to hear that @mariechelmarbil7367! If you'd like to learn even more, please check out our champion courses (teepasnow.com/resources/for-professionals/#knowledge) or contact us at 1-877-877-1671.

[@janetpogue4970]

Thank you

[@teepasnowvideos]

You're welcome, @janetpogue4970. Thank you for watching so many and commenting. It's nice to know that we are helping people.

[@LorraineKane-v4b]

I am a caregiver for my mom with LBD....I can distract. However, my mom will go right back to trying to get out the door.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @user-cr9rq5kc8k! Thanks for being a care partner with your mom and being willing to try. I'm wondering if you might want to connect to talk through this situation. Please reach out to our team at [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671 to set up a free 30-minute session.