Cave Johnson Announcer Pack

Legitimize your Dota matches with the authoritative voice of the one and only founder and CEO of Aperture Science - available in the 'Cave Johnson' Announcer Pack, arriving November 3rd with Battle Pass: Part II

[@Troboba]

" 1 Week - Valve Time" This is gold 🤣

[@HeavySandvichGuy1]

1 week - Valve Time Slacks: We've been here for 4 years

[@urbainleverrier1]

and it was revealed to be 4 years lol

[@Joyexer]

Everything makes sense now!

[@Iron_Soil]

Guys i dont know what you want half life 2 came out month ago why are you so impatient

[@Karstodes]

The self depreciation and self awareness Is beautiful

[@mandalina31]

I love how valve is both self aware and too lazy to fix shit at the same time

[@bookreaderman6715]

Relatable

[@raubana]

Gotta prioritize, plus valve time, amiright?

[@greasemonk4576]

It's okay to be lazy as long as you're self-ironic.

[@tearex8688]

Best game company. Idc how jank ass there shit gets sometimes. I may get pissed but i can't turn my face away from that jolly face gaben.

[@Dribbleondo]

@@tearex8688 Welcome to the comment that sums up the entirety of capitalism.

[@adjectiveollie]

valve translating “4 years” to “one week (valve time)” is unprecedented self awareness

[@Syphaxis]

A few weeks (Valve time) is reportedly how long Chell spent in hibernation at the Aperture facility.

[@ynog0978]

​@@Syphaxisand a month (valve time) for adrian shepherd stuck in valve induced stasis

[@CapemanProducti0ns]

1 week valve time = 4 years Their skill is astonishing, they made TF2 in two and a half weeks

[@TheSalmoneer]

Wow… So it’s been a little over a week since the last TF2 update…

[@Veemospammer]

@@TheSalmoneer We gotta wait a valve year for heavy update... Oh no

[@santhoshsridhar5887]

After a little over 2 weeks of development, hopefully it was worth the wait...

[@Ag3nt-MC]

Wait, actually?

[@noam242]

Now I get all the weird comments in the tf2 source code. Those devs lost a few screws during that time😆

[@Jupex]

Give Gabe an oscar.

[@josephlouisg.bondoc3612]

If he got in the oscar free arcana from the Lord itself

[@zlodrim9284]

HoMaM 3 rules

[@j-mc2144]

Or else

[@bryanaa196]

2 or 4 Oscars. Never 3

[@Farticuss]

That's g-fat to you, get it right.

[@MorganHarper87]

J. K. Simmons needs to record every line that is humanly possible so that future generations, beyond his own time, can be blessed with his resonance, no matter the context.

[@TheStateoflove]

thank you i was trying to remember his name!

[@megawarrior_101]

Or they could do what they’re doing with James Earl Jones and have an AI replicate his voice

[@elianas1121]

@@megawarrior_101 They did that for Luke Skywalker on an episode of the Boba Fett show (guess Mark Hamill’s voice changed too much), and if it didn’t quite work for a guy who was supposed to be at inner peace b/c not enough emoting, it definitely wouldn’t work for Cave Johnson.

[@electrobob992]

Well if technology continues to improve.. An AI might be able to replicate his voice, though I do agree with ya.

[@nighteye4042]

"The United States has fallen. I don't really know how, or what year it is, but it has fell"

[@Atlee_Stewart]

I like how they portray Gabe as a force not to be reckon with.

[@DeltaEntropy]

Even so, Cave Johnson in classic fashion refuses to cooperate.

[@gamemeister27]

Let's be real, he's got Microsoft money. I don't want to be on the wrong end of that

[@hellyeavesx]

Because he is

[@snake_eater1963]

He's the Big Boss

[@hundvd_7]

> A force to reckon with > A force to be reckoned with Choose one

[@KILLASAURUSFLEX]

Whoever is in charge of marketing at Valve deserves a raise. I don't even play or like Dota but this video makes me want to.

[@silvo5955]

exactly, i may start just because of this

[@maguiresyndicatehunter615]

Its actually slacks himself

[@EazLP]

As far as I know Kaci is actually responsible for that. She's been doing a great job at it.

[@swagit4174]

If you value your sanity stay the F away

[@orion10x10]

I wish they let you lock the camera like in League of Legends, the learning curve is way worse because of that. I really wanted to learn too ;-;

[@BrutalDongshart]

"Sounds ominous. I'm in." How very on-brand for Mr. Johnson. I love it.

[@Alex_hisfriendfromschool]

You know what he says, when life gives you lemons, make life take the lemons back

[@mont9150]

4:21 head dead

[@Cheesepuff8]

It's cool we got Cave Johnson but I'm sad that it replaced the Mr Whipples pack that Gabe din't like

[@BlueShellshock]

Give the man a dictionary and record him reading it start to finish. Only then will we know the peak potential of the English language.

[@RecRoomFocused]

I read this part right as the video got to here

[@BrentBlueAllen]

I want to hear more Cave Johnson lines almost enough to play DOTA

[@warriorm.o.w2855]

They also got GLaDOS full announcer pack btw.

[@Poniksei]

literally

[@gilly_the_fish]

Almost...

[@officialgagethepyro5391]

Couldn’t care less about DOTA. Will definitely watch a compilation of all his voice lines on KZbin

[@stevencooper564]

Same, lol. I've never even thought of playing, until right now.

[@gladwrapenjoyer1973]

It is officially canon that Gabe saved Cave Johnson’s live during the Vietnam War

[@daniolus]

I thought the joke was that he said 'Nam but just meant when they were both randomly in Vietnam lmao

[@koli4213]

@@daniolussome always sunny type shit

[@Dallows65]

it’s even better. He said he saved his life in ‘nom’, and Cave Johnson recalled choking on a hot dog.

[@PotatoTot]

Let's keep in mind that this is the CLOSEST we've gotten to anything even remotely approaching withing the vicinity of anything related to Portal 3. Quite simply a milestone.

[@tearex8688]

Aperture desk job ???

[@Brmemesrule]

Uh... desk job?

[@PotatoTot]

@@Brmemesrule oh weird, didn't know that was a thing.

[@Lem_On_Lime]

@@PotatoTot It's like a 30 minutes long SteamDeck tutorial, and should have been pre-installed on EVERY SteamDeck, an oversight IMO.

[@rompis.a]

"Lego Dimensions: Portal" is a thing. Should satisfy your hunger for GlaDOS and friends for a while.

[@ReksonGames]

The self awareness of Valve and Gabe N makes this content so refreshing, huge props for the fantastic writing

[@yomama531]

Who? You mean G-Fat?

[@TurtleFaceMaGee]

@@yomama531 I believe you mean G-Money

[@mahuba2553]

i dont know if i should be happy or not about it actually

[@javelin_if]

So I’m pretty sure they’re well aware of the TF2 situation

[@AmSleepyJay]

@@yomama531 damn original

[@Natalietrans]

Glad to live in the era of valve doing things

[@NoVIcE_Source]

same !!

[@Zladnyl]

I would just call this the era of Valve being not completely dead. The era of Valve doing things, *lots of things*, is long gone.

[@I_need_a_repair]

@@NoVIcE_Source ayo wassup cool seeing you here

[@shitlordflytrap1078]

I prefer the era of Valve making cool new games.

[@pari6420]

@@NoVIcE_Source hewwo

[@nathanhopping1400]

I want J.K. Simons from whiplash to do our announcer pack.

[@YuriG03042]

NOT MY TEMPO

[@Kracton]

ARE YOU RUSHING, OR ARE YOU DRAGGING!?

[@karkatvantas978]

@@Kracton OR ARE YOU ON MY FUCKING TIME

[@alice20001]

"I saved your life in Nam" "Chocking on a hot-dog. Dark day."

[@silence.5368]

'When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade, make an Ultra Kill!"

[@Spookoffi]

HELL IS FULL

[@juelho]

Blood is fuel

[@AMabud-lv7hy]

YOUR CRIME IS EXISTENCE

[@firdausravi1679]

MACHINE TURN BACK NOW

[@neru_pehut]

THY END IS NOW

[@owenness6146]

"Mr. Newell is amused" better become a voice line.

[@SophiaAstatine]

That gentle "Yep" was hilarious too

[@olivereisenberger7215]

: | yup

[@williambbq]

Wait, so Gabe calls Cave at the end, not JK Simmons? So Gabe is cannon in the Half Life universe?

[@aSkyclad]

Gabe is G-Man's employer

[@youbaouahdi4358]

@@aSkyclad thats... one theory.

[@probablyants]

Gabe-man

[@s8wc3]

Gabe is canon in all universes.

[@vanillafromnekopara]

gabe is gman the g stands for gabe

[@waloogi6299]

the gabe newell voice pack was hilarious and this is amazing never change valve

[@guardianofthetoasters2323]

"Gabe is amused" Damn it all. Whether I'm 12 or 19yrs old, new and old, this still makes me smile

[@zachw755]

Valve always has incredible writing in any project they work on. Love to see their quality remain so high despite the quantity being so low.

[@mzaite]

Now if only they could count past 2…

[@unclubbableplus]

@@mzaite Well there's 7 Half-Life games, and technically 4 Portal games.

[@whxrecat]

thats what they do and have always done. quality > quantity

[@mzaite]

@@unclubbableplus no there's 2 1/2 half life games and 2 portal games. Everything else is capitalized fan projects and tech demos.

[@SamanthaLain]

@@mzaite i mean half like 1 half life 2 half life alyx is a full game and all the side shit is so like 3 1/2 games. portal has some side games but not nearley as many and there more aperture games so yeah two is accurate maybe 2 1/2

[@ahmadbani1452]

Gabe saving Cave from choking on a hotdog in 'Nam is my favourite piece of Valve lore

[@playerpogg]

It has been a looong time, hasn't it? It's good hearing Cave Johnson again!

[@SomeUsernameSomeoneElseTookIt]

We heard him in the steam deck game!

[@applehazeva2739]

@@SomeUsernameSomeoneElseTookIt that was awesome! I hope we get more portal games

[@playerpogg]

@@applehazeva2739 so true!

[@SirSurVice]

We ABSOLUTLY need that 'That's was.. Garboo' as a voiceline

[@chic-fil-ashouldopenonsund3623]

i love that kaci is back. her and slacks has great comedic chemistry.

[@parsec1]

kaci is going nowhere she's working inside valve itself

[@enso8762]

She never left lol

[@JT-bs2lm]

Still has zero knowledge about DotA. Valuable Valve employee though.

[@Differenshit]

Haha u sure are funny

[@MaNameizJeff]

Clue me in a little... who the heck is kaci and slacks? I didn't find them quite so funny in this skit but then again it was intended to be a tongue in cheek cringe attempt.

[@void-creature]

3:57 I actually jumped up in terror at that *“Valve time”*

[@thechel6769]

5:59 - I'm calling in a favour... - Sounds ominous. I'm in

[@mystic1869]

Ever since Glados became a voice pack(the only voice pack i truly love n use) i also hoped for other portal characters to become a voice pack and now my mans man Cave Johnson becomes one

[@lautyx18]

One with Wheatley and the other cores would be pretty cool

[@brajlecz9485]

Hmm yeah, id like one with Chell, thatd be great

[@gobis8637]

do you like the John Patrick Lowrie one?

[@legitpancake4276]

@@brajlecz9485 Would sound about as great as a Gordon Freeman pack

[@ar.michael8306]

Who is cave Johnson?is this from other game?or series like Rick and Morty?no idea

[@joshi8696]

I would actually pay for a kaci and slacks announcer pack

[@simonderose4226]

yup extremely disappointed it wasn't actually theirs and got jebaited :(

[@_ohamachi]

Jack

[@TheIr2way]

Means you have a hearing problem

[@ironeche3702]

I was Garbo

[@macadaymo9226]

@@simonderose4226 same. so sad!

[@timel_ss]

Can we just have a Cave Johnson/JK Simmons voice pack for everything? Siri, Alexa, Google Assistant, TF2 Announcer, **everything**.

[@kyrauniversal]

Oh... TF2 announcer? How about we NOT piss off The Administrator's friend Caroline anymore, alright? Okay.

[@SuccMunkey]

Gabe Newell saving Cave Johnson in Nam from choking on a hotdog is a piece of Valve lore i never knew I needed

[@dunderguy]

No other big game company would do stuff like this other than Valve

[@OriginalPuro]

Not with the CEO and founder of the company like that, no.

[@MICROKNIGHT3000]

Dbrand, discord?

[@seritools]

Devolver Digital would like to have a word with you lmao

[@cncgeneral]

Or if they did, it wouldn't be cool

[@bennettjamin]

HoN had a Samuel L. Jackson announcer pack which if introduced to Dota I would pay nearly any amount of money for

[@csbrooks]

I’m so proud of slacks. He went from schlubby to Gigachad when he lost weight and shaved his head.

[@YourStoryTeam]

So glad to hear Cave Johnson again

[@slutmonke]

I don't even play dota, but I want this announcer pack.

[@Portsl]

We can finally combine glados with cave Johnson ♥️

[@klaxoncow]

Glad-ohnson. Cave-ados. What would this hybrid monstrosity's name be?

[@Portsl]

@@klaxoncow Chell

[@litterbox0192]

@@Portsl hm yes the weird side of the portal fandom

[@stone4651]

COMBINE?!

[@Portsl]

@@stone4651 "Silently takes out stun baton..."

[@tripninick8597]

This was really hilarious. Give the writer a raise and Kaci's acting was top notch!

[@TheFreddynator42]

I love how well aware valve is about the inside jokes the community is making about them and working that into these sketches The world wouldn't be the same without you guys. Also Gabe is a real treasure. Hope you'll never lose your fun for doing things like this.

[@GauntletWizard]

I remember listening to Kaci on the Bob Rivers show on my drive to work a bazillion years ago, and she's as funny as ever. What an incredible career.

[@Engie17]

Gabe's acting is on another level

[@movax20h]

"Why this door is locked?" LOL. "One week later" "Valve time". OH NO.

[@pokeman5699]

Cave Johnson is by far one of my favorite Valve characters and I'm so happy Valve isn't letting such talented voice acting and character go to waste

[@ToniLeys]

0:25 I got the chills and then I burst into laughter

[@bigpiss]

NO FUCKING WAY ITS TONI LEYS

[@kaze-xo]

5:47 Did Gabe just refer to himself as "G Fat"? (sub says it too) That's a reference of his nickname in China lol

[@jendouglas9781]

"Gabe Newell? I saved your life in 'Nam." "Right, right, choking on a hotdog. That was a dark day."

[@NotatoAster_Faker]

Ahh valve, we still love all the things you do. Even when they take 8 years to be ready

[@-TheFacelessGamer-]

Don't you mean 2 weeks (valve time)?

[@The_KrOOb]

Omg this was so awesome. I want a TV series now with Gabe

[@UltimatePerfection]

Not gonna lie, would definitely watch it. Though I don't know if he'd want to make it or if he would have time to. He only has a month of life left (Valve time).

[@visassess8607]

No

[@UltimatePerfection]

@@visassess8607 Yes

[@amiransari9371]

J.K.Simons is actually my fav actor since his play in Whiplash FeelsGoodMan

[@Soulsworth69]

I honestly could care less about Dota 2, but this was just an overall great video on it's own.

[@SeraphinSnecmel]

did you write could instead of couldn’t on purpose? cause, y‘know, "i could care less" would mean you care about Dota 2 to some unspecified degree but the rest of the comment kinda sounds like you were going for the opposite so I‘m a tad confused

[@jedisalsohere]

@@SeraphinSnecmel Americans are just weird and their version of the saying makes no sense

[@BucklingSwashes]

Honestly almost everything Gaben does in this would make for an amazing GIF.

[@screenfreak2124]

Slacks' Monster Kill line needs to be a permanent addition.

[@nb6792]

2:59 Slacks's lines are actually really fun!

[@RidgeXR_2]

Gaben's humour is so weird and I'm all here for it

[@unicodefox]

i do appreciate how they went to the effort of giving Gabe a different iPhone for the 4 years ago part

[@Spruble]

I was really happy ignoring dota for the last 2 years. Now here we go... They forcefully bring me back to the madness.

[@SirClarkus]

Did Slacks shoot the first part years ago when he was still fat, just for the 4 years later gag? That's some serious commitment

[@kenjii153]

Obviously

[@Xartimus]

3:22 "Unstoppable! Oh my God... This is awful..." would be a banger as hell line though

[@ShyGuyShow]

"Cave man, It's G-fat"

[@wow1371]

man I would love a slacks and Kaci announcer pack, but having goddamn JK Simmons for a Cave Johnson pack is next level good.

[@12MYCRYL17]

Now we need a Tobey announcer pack with JK simmons. Oh yea. The skits this ti is godlike. With the support skit that also has gaben in it and the players of the old. If only the grand finals were between TL and TS, it would have been ti3 v2.0.

[@BlackSago_]

Someone guy: *Makes tf2 source 2* Gabe: 0:24

[@grunt0022]

the way gabe just appears is just awesome

[@vashj212]

Glad to see their products merging in a hilarious way

[@c0rvus]

Just me or I genuinely want the Kaci and Slacks announcer pack "dab on em haters, hey 'oh!"

[@leophyte9663]

God that was hilarious, how is everything they do so well written?

[@sjeanmacleod]

Good writers. ;)

[@HunterAllyn]

I have no idea what just happened but I loved every second of it.

[@lakario]

That was incredible. GMan impression was on point. 👉

[@Amantducafe]

G-Money G-Fat

[@Turgineer]

Give the best acting award to GabeN.

[@venomasmark154]

the fucking light turning on with GabeN sitting there just staring at the camera is one of the most raw pieces of footage I've ever seen and that's beautiful

[@aidenscreations2487]

1 week valve time "You've locked us in here for four years!" Yeah sounds accurate.

[@Talk-Nerdy-To-Me]

Kudos...this video was better written, acted, and more entertaining than anything out of Hollywood in many years. Why isn't this a series?

[@hypolyxa7207]

Top Gun: Maverick disagrees.

[@MariktheGunslinger]

I see this comment on way too many videos. Watch better movies.

[@dazza628]

@@hypolyxa7207 The 1999 cinematic masterpiece "The Mummy" staring Brendan Fraser & Rachel Weisz disagrees

[@generic6099]

@@MariktheGunslinger not when the shit that gets shoveled to everyone's eyeballs is She-Hulk: Attorney At Law.

[@CitrusRev]

@@generic6099 you didn't ACTUALLY watch the show

[@TheDiegoSpam]

As a portal fan i just have to say this is AWESOME

[@Frogben]

I have no idea what vibe i'm supposed to get from this, and i like it

[@plasticshorts6972]

I wish every game with an announcer had this

[@sanekibeko]

Kaci puts up with a lot. I respect her.

[@DvalinDK]

Huge fan of Gabe 💕.. we need more of him 💯..

[@joshuagrahambrown]

That little moment at 1:05 had some real *“WITH THE LEMONS”* energy

[@Pellbort]

Dear god how I love Gabe Newell. He's PERSONALLY responsible for SO MUCH HAPPINESS I've enjoyed in my life. Somebody saint this man.

[@jicuken]

Plottwist: Garry is actually icefrog himself

[@That.Chessculated.Quickly]

one of the most cultured CEO hahahahaha

[@dusanrakic5955]

No updates to tf2 but we have this, great.

[@Snoozy96]

00:40 this whole sequence is underrated. So fucking good, especially the build up to slacks confusion when she says that she doesn't care if he's naked or not. Just perfect.

[@ClaudioBOsorio]

Gaben is actually very good at this.

[@Amantducafe]

"Yep" - GFat

[@z1u512]

GabeN

[@rainsthetic]

I just cant stop watching this,. re-watching this all over again. A trailer for mega kill pack

[@silverback_rook5110]

The way Gaben is just looming like a god

[@Kangiru_Noah]

i love this type of advertisement, even though i dont play dota2, i love this type of approach

[@PrincessSunbutt]

"1 Week Later" Oh that's not too bad "Valve Time" DEAR GOD

[@softpool1286]

this genuinely put a smile on my face

[@Luka2000_]

Cant believe that we actually got a video from valve itself. You gotta apreciate the little things in life you know?

[@cringebaby7462]

"Mr. Newell is amused" Is a line I'll be saying for the forseeable future.

[@claydud271]

This was gold and the acting was actually good,the dead pet food guy was the hidden gem

[@hiroshiya_]

Will they include a few of Caroline's lines in this pack? Just imagine you get a solo kill and Cave says "Say goodbye, Caroline" and Caroline replies with "Goodbye, Caroline"

[@yag821]

you know Gabe is a true chad, he even makes crossovers of his own games

[@redonkulous3746]

for the past month's i've been listening to "aperture science Cave Johnson recordings" just because his voice alone... this is such a blessing

[@THE1vbLLover69_]

Im so glad the entire cast returns. All of them are so ememorable

[@JetrinLee]

Gabe really nailed the role

[@jakepeterson8821]

The memes this international spawned were absolutely top tier

[@TheRealAlpha2]

Gabe is devious. He knows exactly what his customers want and only turns the tap on enough to keep them wanting more.

[@bigbrothertw]

i think gabe sitting in the back in a dark room is the most accurate representation of his role at valve nowadays lmao