Aperture Desk Job (Final) - Cave Johnson

[@absurd.7]

pin my comment tan 😳

[@denreaper3311]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKOpemWdf7ioraM

[@tantthetank]

snop

[@tantthetank]

snop

[@LuminalRock]

Something I just realized, after his final song, his mind got uploaded to that cube you find in past portal 1 or 2. IDR.

[@jackthegamer66]

@@LuminalRock what cube?

[@haydenb123]

When they first went in Cave's office I seriously thought that his head was another giant potato...

[@TardisGal4419]

Oh I thought it was his actual corpse of a head that had somehow been enlarged

[@inktheone5933]

@@TardisGal4419 like that carousel from batim chapter 4?

[@helbramsgibbs3280]

Even better, he turned himself into mech moai!

[@KRABPXL]

Bruh me too lmao

[@mattrug730]

"You made of metal sir" "So shoot the metal" Lol

[@squirrelmancer4620]

The fact that his power source is a wall outlet is histerical

[@TheGoldNinja101]

It is way too much power to be handling a single head.

[@ShoopDaWoot]

Its kind of telling… if we had Nicolas Tesla still we would have wireless energy…..

[@oliverer3]

It's fine he's probably designed to run of 1.1V

[@mikk.t.7824]

Imagine if it was just a Triple A battery lmao

[@snackerslc]

@@ShoopDaWootIt’s already been established that that would be highly inefficient and wouldn’t work commercially.

[@sandwichenjoyer9334]

JK Simmons in 2004: "Hello, you're fired" JK Simmons in 2022: "You both are fired" Some things should never change.

[@puMa191000]

Sounds kinda like John Goodman...

[@engineergaming5989]

JK Simmons in 2007: "pack your things, get out of my building. You're fired!"

[@WTFisTingispingis]

THINK, CHAD.

[@Fridge_Fiend]

JK Simmons in 2015 "I fired her ass" - Bojack

[@mr.k4918]

I thought you were two lunatics' who brought a toilet up here.

[@Knight_Trooper]

I really love how Cave Johnson counting to three and when it came to 1 he sighed relief. Kinda emotional

[@bobthememer9731]

I guess they can count down from 3 but not up to 3

[@RoyJNg]

Except when he said you're both fired, I couldn't stop laughing.

[@WakoDoodle]

@@andy-gamer That would be a really big twist. Like you played the 3rd game in the main series and it showed all the half life game logos in order and then reorganised them before revealing the 3rd game was half life 1. Mean Half Life 1 was actually half life 3 all along in the timeline and that half life 2 and 3 were actually prequels to the original game. (Although they'd need to clear up why half life 2 is a prequel, not a sequel to 1)

[@RealLotto]

@@WakoDoodle With the whole time travel shenanigan introduced in Alyx, that could be a possibility

[@nekogamer2508]

@@bobthememer9731 orange box slogan 3 great games 1 package

[@IxodesPersulcatus]

What's concerning is that he seems to be more sane than he ever was. His violent outburst was less violent than it could have been, and he even admitted his fault for killing the scientists and driving them away.

[@alexsiemers7898]

Four years probably feels like an eternity to an artificial consciousness, so maybe time broke him

[@davisdf3064]

The Moon rocks were probably altering him, as they seem to affect people just like lead does (increased violent outbursts, lowering intelligence, bad critical thinking and even higher tendency to commit crimes)

[@monsterfanatic5344]

50,000 years of self reflection can do that to someone.

[@willowt.higgsbury1028]

Especially considering that this is canonically the same version of Cave who did the lemon rant.

[@AndroidNoir-L06k]

@@monsterfanatic5344 this was before the GLaDOS reign tho...

[@inktheone5933]

It’s sad cave Johnson was conscious for over 50,000 years and is still alive in the portal timeline just in the ground humming for all eternity.

[@lukezoeller7517]

Well at the end of the song, his components and eyes go out I think, which could mean he died.

[@youreadthisinyourmindright2604]

Eventually, he stopped thinking

[@thomasparsons4871]

I think… And I really hope I’m right, but, I think he became the turret Animal King. If I understand correctly, the timeline goes from his prerecorded messages in Portal 2, to him being put in the giant head. When everyone thinks he died they try again and put Caroline in Glados’s core. Smaller computer means less of Caroline made it in. A marked improvement from Cave. They continue refining the turrets down to the modern version, but they behave strangely, such as singing when they are left alone and talking about lemons. Either before or after Glados kills everyone, the Animal King apparently is constructed to stage a hostile takeover of all world governments (look up the animal king’s appearance in the instructional graphics). I believe that the turrets believe Cave is their god. It seems like he did pass some of his mind onto them in his ending scene. He gave them sentience and they gave him a glorious new body which he would use to rule the world. And then Black Mesa blew up the world. It works, too, because I can totally imagine Cave requesting a giant golden crown and also that his new body be cheetah-print.

[@inktheone5933]

@@thomasparsons4871 it still stumps me why when Caroline became ceo she just left him down there when they built new aperture in the 90s before the combine

[@GoatMilkCookie]

@@inktheone5933 they didn't know he was there, cave killed all the scientists that knew of his robot bodies' location (which he regrets now)

[@mistamemewide]

Fun Fact: J.K Simmons is a Trained Baritone, so he literally sang the beautiful ending song.

[@Bananappleboy]

That made me remember that one AI program in Minecraft called "Baritone" And Aperture Science has alot of AIs...

[@themetalmario77]

Quite his tempo

[@Haka-f3k-u]

@@themetalmario77 When life gives you chairs...

[@themetalmario77]

@@Haka-f3k-u Get mad! I don't want your damn acapellas!

[@kingofchaos5672]

He’s not the only actor in this series who is a trained singer Ellen McLain is an opera singer

[@darthplagueis7851]

Still love how they fully developed that one line of dialogue form portal 2 about a mantis men experiment

[@thecommentguy9380]

we were expecting mutated human not human being turned into literal mantises

[@SomeD00D01]

Exactly

[@meme_steam]

I thoughts it was rat man...

[@ThomatoSauce]

It’s happened twice, technically, since there was a mantis men quest in LEGO Dimensions.

[@JacobTheRandom]

​@@ThomatoSauceand cave Johnson was a core sphere thing

[@raine6813]

the fact that they brought back JK simmons to play cave johnson in a 30 minute tech demo proves that valve still respects their IPs

[@mrcloudark787]

And probably been very happy to do such a great character one last time

[@yeeyw]

Tf2 :

[@icicle_ai]

Lol, lmao

[@theendofthestart8179]

yeaaahhhhhh kinda at least, really its just shows that Jay Pinkerton & Erik Wolpaw are pretty based

[@WarFoxThunder]

FR

[@kaatoriinesu4007]

Alyx and Desk Job really shows us that there's a possibility to count to 3.....Looking forward to that if it ever happens.

[@mrconroy4672]

If they have a handheld, they have to get an incentive to do more with their first party games not have their product be another Ps vita and piracy machine. If they only stick with that, the majority of gamers will forget about it, which also gives them less of an incentive to care.

[@MegaZeta]

It's such a weird thing to be hung up on still. This is how companies feed you troughs of pig turds, slapping an old, well-liked name on it and banking that you're too scared to examine what they're feeding you.

[@maxximoramirez]

Aperture's The Lab was also a tech demo for the Steam Index and Steam VR and you could see that they used a lot from the demo inside Half Life Alyx. Maybe Half Life Citadel (their next game) will include a shooting ranges style of gunplay and a build-a-combine/rebel mechanic into it

[@iCore7Gaming]

@@MegaZeta what

[@transitcombine9057]

@@iCore7Gaming a posible another game based in universe of half-life

[@boxofcereal]

The little transitions showing how the mantises discovered technology and built a society were some of my favorite parts of the game

[@gloryfire2161]

I love those manties

[@4duanich]

And now the mantises creation is keeping Cave's Giant Head alive in the deepest part of Aperture

[@nekoking6948]

also a callback to the mantis men quote from portal 2

[@thebobbrom7176]

Just stubbled upon this and don't really game What's mantises?

[@xzeuii]

@@thebobbrom7176 Mantis as in the real life insect. Plural would be mantises or mantes.

[@BlazejBoc]

Cave ''The Rock'' Johnson

[@helbramsgibbs3280]

Damit... *press liked

[@PPLazer]

You guys are making KZbin feel a lot like Reddit

[@magnumbeefus]

@@PPLazer he is literally a massive stone

[@not-so-standardprofilepic1887]

Hold on, No! NO! STOP! STAHP!

[@Myne1001]

@@magnumbeefus and then he turned himself into a giant stone head. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

[@MrQuinsime]

the humming during the credits gave me the chills

[@bora9491]

Kinda reminds me the dark ost

[@twisted_nether373]

Eh, doesn't hold the candle to the first two, but I guess this is a spin-off of sorts.

[@NameNotGiven766]

Gave me Halo vibes

[@shadydaemon4178]

Same here

[@Sun_Sableye]

So this shows the Cave Johnson actually did succeed at transferring his mind into a computer. He just hated it and wanted to die. That’s actually pretty sad considering what happened to Carol/Glados.

[@elizabethfaith4247]

The thing is Kaylan’s brain transfer didn’t work the AI overtook her there’s only little bits of her left in there so she didn’t have enough of a mind to realize one she was immortal now and two she wasn’t going to like it(The part of her that we’re still her was most likely feelings of betrayal and anger), for Johnson there was only his mind in an ever expanding space for him to just be there, nothing to do but think. Think about what he did the Carolyn regret what he did to Caleb, rethink what he could’ve done

[@eeveelutionmetaleon1377]

Can someone explain? Is this game takes place in one of the many universes in the multiverse shown in the Perpetual testing initiative dlc or does cave has secrelty been rebuilt in this metal head while Caroline's managing the main company without knowing this?

[@OutOfNameIdeas2]

Nope. Alternative universe or something. Its not the same as the Portal games at least. Same as hand labs or whatever that was.

[@Bloxenbie]

@@eeveelutionmetaleon1377 it’s different universe

[@joevannietirado8238]

Well it shows that this is the invention of the turret and is years back plus we might be playing as chel

[@ThinkyBoi42]

I just realised at the end of caves swan song, caves eyes go completely dark. They light up when he sings, but even then they never go completely dark. He finally did get to rest after all. Edit: a lot of people are saying he’s not dead, just resting. I guess we’ll just have to wait until aperture desk job 2: episode 2 to find out

[@imienazwisko6150]

@The Lonely Proto so he is in some sort of coma. Why didnt he try that in his office?

[@baimhakani]

@@imienazwisko6150 Kinda accidentally killed all of the science nerds that put him in a metal "body"

[@mark63424able]

If you watch it again and look at his cheek where the exposed computers are, one of the orange lights stays lit. So he isn't fully powered down. He's probably in some dormant state like when GLaDOS survived for hundreds of years after being "killed" in Portal 1. I definitely don't think he's dead

[@delgat000]

Or portal ….uh…not 3 but technically the third game with a different name.

[@notme8232]

Eventually, Kars stopped thinking

[@loaduscoolclipz5505]

"sir youre made out of metal" "then shoot the metal"

[@realconquerorchen1609]

Glad to see valve’s still got a sense of humour after all these years

[@loaduscoolclipz5505]

@@realconquerorchen1609 my favorite valve joke is the not releasing actual games joke

[@Glisten456]

Modern problems require modern solutions

[@mugenandnvzfan]

@@loaduscoolclipz5505 making games are harder then it looks

[@219GeorgiaRoseXxX]

I wonder how cave johnson got so successful in life

[@maxximoramirez]

i love how depending when you shoot him while talking he list all the dialog list that he already said giant head, riddle with diseases, eggheads, live forever, giant head

[@cardboard9124]

pretty nice attention to detail, and a really smooth transition from his normal talking to the response to your shooting

[@evildude2135]

Also 'started with the small head'

[@Goremize]

its something they had coded and designed back for even Half Life 2, which is pretty neat

[@maxximoramirez]

@@Goremize wait, for real? i recall that if you break their conversation they would go like "where was i? oh yeah..." but not to enlist their previous dialogs using a single audio track

[@Goremize]

@@maxximoramirez Yeah, they had made it for it but were never able to implement it till now after all these years :)

[@drsipp407]

I love afterwards when the core is like “You know… I just realized… we killed the only person who knows that Cave Johnson asked us to kill him”

[@TerminatorTheory]

*The ending feels exactly how Skynet and Terminators start.* *This game has a beautiful ending, never stop making games Valve!*

[@TheFPSKingsGaming]

Portal 3 teaser with a new human which glados sends to fight against the cave Johnson robot rebellion aiming to regain control over his company

[@whatsappvideos9665]

the only thing that breaks this setting is that our robot buddys traction rail seems to break the ceiling just beyond our view. well however, even i can't imagine any other better way.

[@glowingthing]

Yeah, maybe give tf2 some attention as well

[@ThatCoolBoy]

in the files of portal 2, you find dialogue of cave johnson conciseness is inside a cube, and has been there so long that he wants you to turn off his power, effectively killing him. this was scraped from the game but is pretty similar to the ending here.

[@superconsole7619]

For me it feels... incomplete

[@DR-JOHN-DEJAVU-1984]

Cave Johnson is easily one of the most funniest characters in Portal, but in true seriousness, his tragedy is quite sad and I wish VALVE would build more upon him and continue games like this.

[@The_real_fbi]

Maybe a portal 3 with a insane cave Johnsons trying to kill you

[@doggonefast953]

Yeah. Have you seen the Portal 2 pack in LEGO DIMENSIONS? Well, Cave Johnson made an appearance in that one too, and NOT just prerecorded messages either.

[@AutumnHarvester]

It's very much possible that Cave Johnson is still alive during the events of Portal 1 and 2, and we had no idea til now. If a Portal 3 does happen, we very much could see him again.

[@JoeMama-hv2gb]

cave johnson was such an asshole he probably deserved what came

[@electrohalo8798]

If cave is still alive, doesnt that mean that POSIBLY, along with chell and glados, that they may apear in the next valve big series 3rd installment Half life 3

[@dkiller6060]

Huh, so rattman's "Johsons lonely without me" makes sense now.

[@theamazinggamer111]

Valve did not have to do all of this. This was only a demo, they had every right to phone this one in and call it a day, but no! They expanded the story more! Continued world building! And left us with an ending that really makes you feel sorry for Cave. Thousands of years he's been down there. Through Portal 1 and 2...and still today...yet, we had no idea...

[@MalcolmNessGranger]

its non cannon, it takes place in the multiverse and in this one, as far as anyone can tell, GlaDoS does not exist,

[@MalcolmNessGranger]

@@insert-joke-name so please don't even start arguing it is, without backing your claims up. This project was how originaly Portal 2 was suppose to play out, with CHell and Glados finding Cave in a Sphere / Cube and helping him by shutting him off permanently. It got cut during development of Portal 2 and this is what we get as an alternative universe.

[@insert-joke-name]

@@MalcolmNessGranger I literally did back my claims up. So once again: In the game's description on the Steam Gamestore is explicitly stated that it takes place in the same universe as the other games. Also, just because a concept was scrapped prior doesn't mean it can't be repurposed.

[@MalcolmNessGranger]

@@insert-joke-name Check the statement made by Eric Wolpal, he literally stated himself its NON CANON

[@insert-joke-name]

@@MalcolmNessGranger ok I found a tweet and bcuz YT doesn't like tweets i'm just gonna quote it. "The long awaited final chapter in Valve’s Aperture Themed Free Hardware Demo Trilogy just got announced for the Steam Deck! It’s not Portal 3. At 20 minutes long, it’s barely even technically a whole half an hour of (excellent) content." Do u mean this one?

[@alexrangel1123]

Cave Johnson consciousness gave birth to the self aware turrets we see in portal 2. King turret is probably a reincarnation of Johnson

[@aruce9]

That sounds actually plausible

[@chaotic-ilusium8363]

I'd lean all the way on this theory and say that the entirety of the robots are indeed concious due to Cave's core mixing and contaminating the toilets.

[@treint6751]

@@chaotic-ilusium8363 I LOVE LEAN

[@nescade5663]

@@chaotic-ilusium8363 could also explain the “different” turrets that rant about lemons and basically retell the story of how cave Johnson feel underground. Cave Johnson WAS Prometheus.

[@royliber3824]

@@nescade5663 I just thought about it as well, that one turret you save from death tells you the story about GLaDOS and Cave and Aperture in general. That turret knew things nobody else did, there was definitely something more "magical" than simply building turrets with conciousness. I also think that King Turret we see at the ending of Portal 2 could be indeed reincarnation of Cave.

[@itsraventm]

ive always been one to think a portal 3 wouldnt work due to no real motivation for a character or antagonist since glados has always been the jewel of the franchise but i could actually see a game where a giant metal cave johnson head is the antagonist. i mean, i cant be the only one who thinks its kinda neat to think that glados and cave have been in the same facility for all this time and not know about it right?

[@Tulip_bip]

imagine the GLaDOS body with that head on top of it lmao

[@pancakes8670]

Calling it, the final boss is a giant Cave Johnson Robot lol

[@TheFPSKingsGaming]

Glados going to war with cave would be funny. “I MADE YOU CAROLINE. YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.”

[@dawsbhop9835]

That actually make sense because of l4d3 was so close to happening cause of a never ending zombie antagonist compared to 1 machine

[@bigshrekhorner]

Well, Desk Job is set in another universe, at least from what I recall

[@DarkD112]

Valve still has it. Just wish they'd make a full game and not a tech demo like this.

[@Frozenm16]

True, but at the same time I'll take a tech demo like this over nothing anyday

[@pikaporeon]

Did you play Alyx?

[@DarkD112]

@@pikaporeon No, I don't have VR equipment. I realize that's a full game, but even that was built with the intention of getting people to buy their VR sets. Although I will say that if they release a full Portal 3 or Half Life 3 that requires VR. I might just break down and grab it.

[@Steph.98114]

@@DarkD112 honestly if you already have a PC it's totally worth picking up a quest 2 just to play it, games bloody amazing.

[@skelo9033]

@@DarkD112 your pretty wrong. Alyx could be played on any PCVR headset,not just valves. Also,every time a half life game comes around it’s only when there is new technology,back when HL1 released it used a mouse,HL2 pioneered in game physics and source 2,and HLA took the next leap into VR. I fully expect the next half life game to be VR.

[@user-dy5bw6gs3l]

Cave Johnson be like:🗿

[@khalidrahman6698]

true

[@ZTheZtickman26]

🗿 your both fired 🗿

[@littlesamu5920]

🗿

[@helbramsgibbs3280]

🗿

[@AyyHotDogS]

🗿

[@fbi-sama9052]

Interesting how Cave, stuck in a giant head incapable of doing anything, went sane. Then you have Caroline, who was forced against her will into the world's greatest super computer, went immediately into a homicidal crusade, then was not only constantly turned off and on, but everytime she "woke up" she had another tumor and a new voice inside her head. And another and another and another. Eventually leading to her not only developing amnesia, but quite literally making an entire new personality separated from her original self and whose immediate response was to kill everyone on instinct. And it isn't until she is put out of any form of control and ridden from the voices that she slowly goes sane and develops emotions other than hatred and sadism, to the point of even saving the one that "killed" her.

[@moriiii4522]

honestly i'm surprised they'd put this somewhat heavy stuff in a comedy orianted tech demo lmao i mean cave's asking you to kill him, that feels like a big deal

[@darthplagueis7851]

Even though they eventually said these side things aren’t canon it still surprised me they would have such a major story element like this in a sort of “tech demo” for the steam deck

[@alexsiemers7898]

@@darthplagueis7851 since the multiverse is a concept in the portal games, all of them are technically canon.

[@Myne1001]

The Portal series & other Valve games set in Aperture Science are always dark comedy. Portal 1 and 2 are funny, but set in a facility where everyone was killed by neurotoxin, with Chell finding scribblings of a schizophrenic man who evaded that genocide. Not to mention the inhumane experimentation of Aperture on people, even its own employees.

[@kassandra2049]

@@darthplagueis7851 It is canon

[@enzosg6404]

At least he took his euthanasia very good

[@fluffywhompus]

1:22 “hey, HEY I can’t talk over the sounds of you shooting me” and 3:42 “oh no” “What” “you’re made of metal sir” “So shoot the metal” Is funny and it’s pretty amazing that they could capture portal’s humor in what is essentially a tech demo

[@ArcienPlaysGames]

6:09 I love that a one-eyed robot can still simulate a wink perfectly.

[@supernova3653]

if you want more cave there are like 30 minutes of just incredible writing and cave moments from the dlc for custom maps

[@AbsoluteRatBastard]

Chariot Chariot

[@suspiciousde862]

Hearing Cave say “hey there” for the first time without any audio static like when speaking over the intercom just I had to pause the video for a minute just to catch my bearings

[@sivartb7273]

Make sure you keep them lubricated.

[@NICKatronMC]

I could NOT agree more, plus the moment I saw the silhouette of his fucking head through the door, was enough to send shivers down my body

[@friskecrisps8038]

“Hey hey hey! I can’t talk over the sound of you shooting me. You want me to tell you why I’m a giant head or not?” I swear valve comes up with the best dialogue

[@USMC49er]

Depending on when you shoot Cave Johnson, he recaps his last point he talked about.

[@alfonshedstrom9859]

Next gen dialogue interruption mechanics

[@agentburningbutters3655]

@@alfonshedstrom9859 Same from GTA V

[@vreikezen8268]

@@alfonshedstrom9859Half Life 2 : Lost Coast did it first

[@Croshant]

J.k simmons is so good in voice acting cave

[@kenadrian5349]

Agree. Really glad he returns to voice Cave even after a decade.

[@anth636]

Could've just left it at "JK Simmons is so good."

[@Otto500206]

@@kenadrian5349 He did that for a live-action character too! He played a alternate reality version of that character tho.

[@kenadrian5349]

@@Otto500206 J Jonah Jameson right? I know he voiced his animated version several times

[@Otto500206]

@@kenadrian5349 Yes. He returned to play a alternate reality version that character after a decade.

[@pancakes8670]

I love the joke that Cave Johnsons head literally got too big for his body

[@drsipp407]

Maybe it isn’t as much of a joke as it is a literary element. Pretty clever if you ask me

[@bipinnambiar]

It is a joke

[@Daud-ix4tm]

​@@bipinnambiarI mean recently they mapped a portion of a brain and it took up an unbelievable amount of space. So the head being that big is not totally ridiculous

[@Daud-ix4tm]

​@@bipinnambiarI mean recently they mapped a portion of a brain and it took up an unbelievable amount of space. So the head being that big is not totally ridiculous

[@Daud-ix4tm]

​@@bipinnambiarI mean recently they mapped a portion of a brain and it took up an unbelievable amount of space. So the head being that big is not totally ridiculous

[@lextavactchi]

“You figured out how to end my suffering” You could just hear the shake in his voice. Damn.

[@Azoedud]

JK Simmons is a great actor

[@clems-crows]

3:45 the way he says "so shoot the metal?" so funny so perfect goddamn i love j.k always out does himself in everything he does

[@memehunter2476]

Deep Within the abyss he lies, Waiting for someone to hear his cries, Years pass and still no luck, It seems like forevermore he'll be stuck.

[@ThatGuyRNA]

Shakespeare has been real quite since this came out

[@SuzdalPanic]

Good poem, OP

[@ryanmumford5534]

Huzzah, a noble poet! Rhyme well sir!

[@die_lokki287]

It is EXACTLY like a cut scene with a Cave Cube in Portal 2 Valve are masters of recycling

[@govinlock8568]

Even in this game there are Half Life 2 styled ammo containers.

[@hajilee4539]

I was so hype when I realised this was pretty much the cube johnson bit. One of the few times in recent memory it has paid to be a portal fan.

[@somebonehead]

Cube Johnson?

[@davisdf3064]

@@somebonehead There was a scrapped scene in Portal 2 where Cave Johnson is alive, but his consciousness is inside a Aperture Weighted Cub that is plugged into the wall. He then proceeds to tell you how Fricking boring is to be a machine, and how agonizing is to not be able to go around. Then he asks you to unplug him, you do it, he dies and GLaDOS asks you to never talk about that.

[@somebonehead]

@@davisdf3064 Neat, I just saw FUNKe's interpretation of that scene. Thanks.

[@someguy2417]

Its such a nice detail that they keep the same consistencies; Not the same scenario, but still relevant, How Coraline was put into Glados, the instant access of knowledge, and power got to her. She panicked and killed everyone... Cave did aswell, and so did Wheatley, its such a great detail, and i love it

[@henrynelson9301]

“You’re made of metal, sir!” “So shoot the metal.”

[@cesarvictoriano8072]

2:33 So GlaDOS might not have been a fluke. Maybe putting a human mind into a big computer system doesn’t end well regardless of how delicate you try to do it.

[@jimbomclimbo7467]

In one line from the portal 2 dlc continued testing initiative I think it's called. An alternate universe cave Johnson actually got gladosed and he killed everyone after turning all media into Ghostbusters crossovers

[@nerfello3145]

Tbf if you put anybody's mind in a computer, consent or not, eventually they'll go insane, Glad0s is an example and Sinead Larsen of Watch Dogs legion, and both only went docile or calm when they lost their memory or who they are.

[@Broomer52]

Their was a DLC thing were they managed to make him Glados and he got really bored really quickly because he’s a super computer with infinite time, unlimited access to knowledge and unable to leave. He quickly goes crazy and kills everyone.

[@Pluvillion]

@@nerfello3145 - but in terms of GLaDOS, she knew her past and knew her purpose - to test. Hence why instead of killing Chell, she let her go and resorted with P-Body and Atlas instead. Sinead, however, was forced against her will. She has no control over what she does unlike Caroline. At least for the latter, her passion for science and testing never left.

[@TheRadicalBear]

What really? Where? Bc I wanna see that

[@epicdude3659]

I love how every few years, Valve will just come along with a tech demo and just unintentionally shit all over everyother gaming studio by making it incredibly polished, with next to no bugs (or more likely no bugs at all, I don't know, I haven't played this yet).

[@tuanpham-ph6fv]

And they call it a fucking tech demo. Not even a full game. It's like a massive dirty diarrhea into the face of every other AAA gaming studios out there.

[@fluffydragon1525]

Honestly I don’t think we deserve Valve They’re too good for us

[@Kobalt_Rax_the_one]

Well considering it is not a super long open world game and smaller in scale and they take their sweat ass time and want a product to be a hardware selear . Yea ofc it would be quite polished . But it also makes the desire to already make a portal 3 or HL3 , that much more at this point

[@RiX20xx]

credit to the bugs in this demo tho, making an advanced power source and stuff

[@oldvlognewtricks]

“…next to no bugs” Every Valve speedrun would like a word

[@ranieldale4842]

I love the ending of Cave teaching the turrets to sing, it's ominous and beautiful

[@Kristijan-j8k]

that shit shook me to the core somehow. at first i was like whats goin on here but then it seemed like they were communicating, with the green orb thingy connecting them or something. then suddenly harmony starts kicking in and the credits roll. stellar ending scene.

[@codaboi138]

Random idea for a new Portal game story You're a test subject that's somehow fallen down one of the old Aperture shafts while in stasis. You come across the old cave head and team up with him to get to the surface and free yourselves. The game revolves around coming across different means of transporting Cave's consciousness with you to the surface. At the start you jack him into the mainframe of old aperture and he acts like glados, putting you through the old test chambers to "Show that you got the grit to get us out of here" Then, as you progress and Cave loses his control on the newer/incompatible parts of Aperture, you have to download him into newer and smaller modes of transportation. A collection of tape reels that you have to put into computers as you go, door mainframes, Weighted cubes, etc. The problem is, every download degenerates the data, and Cave starts to lose himself. I'm not sure where you could go from there but I think like the idea.

[@randomguy2147]

If you've got time how about a little discussion on artificial consciousness building simulator? Something similar to a personality core from aperture science, where you build the AI made from different existing ones. Basically alchemist mixing them and see what happens, and how efficient they are in managing stuff. Purpose can be defined sooner though.

[@BritishTrainspotting]

This is vaguely the plot of Portal Stories: Mel if you remove the parts about cave, a test subject who was put to sleep in the days of old aperture who wakes up in what is now old aperture long after it was sealed up and disused, and you have to escape while the AI security system is flooding the facility with toxic goo.

[@sleebs7814]

This feels pretty similar to that rumored cut scene from P2, where you find cave in a computer and unplug him in the salt mines.

[@die_lokki287]

Valve are masters of recycling thei ideas

[@isc8900]

this actually parallels the cut Cave Johnson Cube scene from Portal 2,where you see a cube with Cave's consciousness in it, he begs you to destroy him, after a bit of back and forth between him and GLaDOS, you cut his power supply off and kill him, using him to get up a ledge.

[@zafelrede4884]

Valve seems to operate like old Bungie, when an idea doesn't work, you bring it back in the next game and make it better.

[@thomasparsons4871]

I think… And I really hope I’m right, but, I think he became the turret Animal King. If I understand correctly, the timeline goes from his prerecorded messages in Portal 2, to him being put in the giant head. When everyone thinks he died they try again and put Caroline in Glados’s core. Smaller computer means less of Caroline made it in. A marked improvement from Cave. They continue refining the turrets down to the modern version, but they behave strangely, such as singing when they are left alone and talking about lemons. Either before or after Glados kills everyone, the Animal King apparently is constructed to stage a hostile takeover of all world governments (look up the animal king’s appearance in the instructional graphics). I believe that the turrets believe Cave is their god. It seems like he did pass some of his mind onto them in his ending scene. He gave them sentience and they gave him a glorious new body which he would use to rule the world. And then Black Mesa blew up the world. It works, too, because I can totally imagine Cave requesting a giant golden crown and also that his new body be cheetah-print. I’m really just speculating off of some circumstantial evidence here, but I just realized the linchpin of this theory: “Prometheus was punished for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.” Cave considered himself a gift to humanity, and in a literal monument to his hubris he was cast down into the bowels of the facility where he found turrets that sing and shoot, and probably never stop doing those two things forever. We always wondered why the special turret told that story right after spouting off cave’s lemon rant and saying “the truth lies beneath us.” Cave is still in the facility.

[@juneBug412]

i like that theory, cuz it kinda explains why they woulda went ahead n made glados anyways even if cave was still alive after his body died. caroline was a lot less crazy than cave, so it woulda been better to put her in charge n say he died in the process of digitizing his mind regardless of if they put her brain in a computer too. but apparently the process in and of itself seems to be what makes them murderous, moreso in the case of glados, since i'm sure not only bein digitized, but havin bits of your mind left out would make you a lil insane

[@ryantalley5284]

This implies not only that the turrets can walk (which they explicitly can't), cover his face with a turret shell, which would require having opposable thumbs (which they explicitly don't), and have a sense of self or anything other than the sole purpose of shooting (which they don't, because that's literally the only thing that makes the "different" turret different).

[@Funnyname34]

@@ryantalley5284 Have you heard about the empathy suppresser, it's showed in the turrets in the valve turret promotional video so they do have a sense of self and the suppresser could also only be activated when they see a target. For the opposable thumbs thing they could have convinced some cores to build that body, but of course it's just a theory

[@thomasparsons4871]

@@ryantalley5284 I’m not implying that they did it themselves. They are sentient, emotional, and religious guns. They could easily have threatened the remaining employees.

[@thomasparsons4871]

@@ryantalley5284 Furthermore, since most of the high priority employees were having their brains uploaded to cores around this time, it stands to reason that any of the employees who knew what the giant computer brain was would not remember or would be dead.

[@Jackomojo]

Only valve could give my chills with a giant metal head singing to a pile of armed toilets

[@NotDr.Evil137]

God, I cannot ever get enough of Cave Johnson 😄

[@elmagistradofk6286]

The mantis core gives him control over the turrets you can see this when he hums they do nothing until the core energy touches them so he will probably use that to his advantage

[@ramp7857]

That's actually smart, but it's not clear if he is controlling the turrets

[@Juanthemovie]

I just realized the green infinite power source that the Mantis people created is now giving infinite energy to Cave Johnson. Which means hes still forever alive and his backup power will never run out. It kinda sad when you think about it...

[@mystery1826]

He's still alive how did GLaDOS never find this

[@fernandoferraz4146]

The were no cameras on old aperture

[@dasirrlicht5415]

Also, multiverse. I assume some facts are true, others are very much so not for the main timeline. This Cave? Not the one from the timeline of perpetual testing. No Charriots. Also not the one of the Glados Timeline, because there, he died before the eggheads figured out how to make people into computers. Probably also not Blapature Mesa Cave J. This is Giant Head Toilet Turret Cave, where they put him in a computer, put the computer into a giant head, and then invented personality cores that do the exact same thing in actual head size but failed to transfer him because he threatened to kill them if they ever came back. Also, apparently, one of the many timelines without Caroline all together.

[@FreakinGrooves]

@@dasirrlicht5415 there's a slim chance cave lives in the Prototype Chassis perhaps from the DLC co-op ending Small chance but possible

[@ItsPhezz]

@Nam Gge Well this game references the original idea they had for cave. Originally you were gonna find Cave Johnson in a computer in Portal 2 but they scrapped it. Not saying that makes this canon to the mainline but they're definitely re-using the material.

[@aitipsea3909]

@@dasirrlicht5415 this is Cave Prime! Charriots Charriots

[@AnUnusualEg]

My goodness, seeing a portal game have an ending like this gives me hope to see the number 3 again.

[@codyraugh6599]

Are you suggesting that there is a number after two but before four?

[@coolestgamenerd]

7:20 I like how when a turret first sings it's almost as if cave pauses in shock, his mouth even opens slightly as if he's like :o Maybe in that moment he found some solace in his immortality.

[@Mae_Dastardly]

One must imagine Sisyphus happy

[@christineclarke2354]

In case y'all think he doesn't completely deserve it, he's the reason why Glados exists

[@tantthetank]

There would be no portal games without Glados.

[@KiiBon]

It's not like he expected her to go on a murderous killing spree tho

[@htg98]

Yea and he made Caroline suffer because of it 😭

[@PuppetMasteronVHS]

5:53 am I the only one who feels bad for those poor mantises who are mourning over their dead and destroyed civilization?

[@ThatGuyRNA]

5:52

[@ThatGuyRNA]

You can hear their screams

[@ItsChevnotJeff]

Imagine they release Half Life 3, Eli and Gordon get to the Borealis, and they meet Head Johnson with his singing toilets

[@PuppetMasteronVHS]

That alone persuaded me to buy Half Life 3.

[@SSD_Penumbra]

Just picture it; Gordon gets aboard the Borealis, only to be greeted by "Well well well...if it isn't the egghead." and a computer screen flickers on to show Cave's face.

[@Mae_Dastardly]

@@SSD_Penumbra "What, too shocked to say hello? Come on wipe that look on your face Black Mesa it's like you never seen a talking head before!"

[@Bananappleboy]

@@Mae_Dastardly Perfection. La Frenchay tea.

[@what1048]

"Singing toilets" GETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEAD

[@nolanschotanus2769]

My theory is that Valve is just gonna announce "The Orange Box 2" and its gonna have all the Valve games we've been waiting for

[@Jehovahs_Thickness]

In your dreams

[@plastic_helmet]

The Orange Box 2: Half Life 3, Portal 3, Team Fortress 3, Ricochet 2

[@davisdf3064]

Team Fortress 3: same as TF2, but with an actual anti-bot system

[@nolanschotanus2769]

@@davisdf3064 HAH, that'd be the day...

[@bobthestinky7369]

This universe isn't good enough for that.

[@hapeecartoons2238]

Oh my god the mad lads did it They kept cave Johnson alive

[@AuroraIceFlame]

Still so happy they got jk Simmons back for this

[@nathan.w05]

Nate was such a good choice for the main character core! He has a great sense of humor and is just so well suited for voice acting!!

[@mrmechpunch4653]

For some reason I imagine Glados finding Johnson's robot body/head and either deactivate it or repurpose johnson's conciousness.

[@Ditto-js1or]

This implies that while Caroline lives on in GLaDOS, a part of cave lives on in turrets through their singing. They both spend eternity with each other and they don’t even know it

[@tantthetank]

tiger king turret comes to my mind

[@Nahmona_Hooves]

Man I really want another full Portal game. They don't need to add Portals, I just want to see more of the oddities that Aperture Science has to offer.

[@evanengstrom1232]

love how a little game to promote the steam deck had such a major lore drop. valve is something

[@otherguy___4293]

Now hear me out. What if Cave Johnson was the one who taught the turrets to sing? Like how they do in the Portal 2 ending, for instance.

[@maxximoramirez]

I wonder if this is an alternative timeline / paralel dimmension considering theres actually a praying mantis universe and an universe where was Cave the one put into GLaDOS. On this universe apparently Cave noticed his moon rock sickness waaaaay earlier on the 70s and thus they "GLaDOS" him but on a 70s era computer (aka. a massive garage) making him unable to move and unable to supervise and connect to the rest of Aperture leaving all the cores and bots up to their luck and duties. The game may happens during the late 70s considering at the start of the game you can see human workers and active 1970s Aperture enviroments (same ones than in Portal 2 were decomisioned already), you don't see anywhere the 80s decaying Cave portrait (even Mecha-Cave was made with a 70s haircut) and the Houseware fight its full of old washing machines, operator machines and LP players

[@ryantalley5284]

The description on steam says it takes place in "The Portal extended universe", as in the Half-Life+Portal universe

[@maxximoramirez]

@@ryantalley5284portal extended universe sounds closer to the multiverse than to the oc portal 1 and 2 storyline

[@ryantalley5284]

@@maxximoramirez remind me, what does DCEU stand for? Also, that wouldn't be an "extended universe" then. That would be an extension, yes, but it wouldn't be part of the same universe, which, I assume you know, is the second half of the phrase "extended *universe".*

[@TheFPSKingsGaming]

@@ryantalley5284 if you have issues with the naming then take it up with valve. The portal expanded universe is every portal game outside of PORTAL 1 and 2

[@ryantalley5284]

@@TheFPSKingsGaming I mean technically, yeah, cause of what I mentioned earlier, so I don't know what you accomplished by telling me this, but I hope you had fun "contributing" to the conversation.

[@TheGreatCalsby]

Erik Wolpaw (a lead writer on Portal) has stated that this game isn't canon to Portal 1 and 2, which means this all happens in an alternate universe. But he also said it doesn't mean it won't be Canon if they ever make another game...

[@audiovisualcringe]

it is technically canon since there was a portal 2 dlc involving the multiverse

[@meathead2934]

Cave Johnson: You can't even crack a fragment of the statue, your fired. Cody: But sir, he has a device that can penetrate the stone. Cave Johnson: Oh right, your unfired

[@OneMoneyCat]

Could you pay him in advance?

[@DanielS2001]

You have to give it to the scientists at Aperture Labs. They may have made a lot of mistakes, but they certainly failed upwards.

[@bingusshlingus1442]

Better than them falling so far back that they nearly doom the human race like a certain group of anomalous material researchers

[@tricursor2481]

Their goal was science nothing else. Making all of these incredible break throughs but never releasing any of them as products. The portal device on its own would have made the company trillions, it'd solve the energy and hunger crisis immediately. which is why I find it so funny that the company went bankrupt, that is some hilarious incompetence right there?

[@tricursor2481]

It's also canon that they figure out how to travel to alternate universes sometime before Cave gets sick. Aperture is one of the most interesting fictional things I've ever experienced in any media. And when you realize Half-Life and Portal are the same universe it gets even more amazing. The combine on their own are incredibly interesting. Please Valve. More of anything.

[@lundylow]

I discovered Nate Bargatze after this, and revisiting it Grady's Southern drawl is just a little more charming now.

[@alpine8590]

I find it both hilarious, depressing and interesting that cave Johnson himself is now a massive metal head singing with toilet turrets

[@themonkeymang]

I love how the music here is almost the same song as the one Cave sings at the end

[@e2b265]

That transition from distracted to getting to the point was so well done.

[@lightningbug9564]

Glados wasn't the one who killed them all. Holy shit

[@pancakes8670]

I never thought about that idea... I thought it was just a parody of GLaDOS murdering everyone, but the idea that Cave Johnson did it is terrifying

[@TheFPSKingsGaming]

Doesn’t sound like he killed them all. It’s sounds more like he killed everyone in the room

[@StrikeWarlock]

Cave and Caroline resulting to the same actions just goes to show they really are in the same wavelength

[@TheFPSKingsGaming]

Also another point. When glados was first plugged in. Everyone didn’t immediately die, it took glados a while for her to kill everyone

[@thecommentguy9380]

Cave only killed SOME of the engineers Caroline straight up killed everyone by releasing neurotoxin facility-wide

[@123dodo4]

This is so good! Finally content for the portal series. Honestly the ending credits spooked me off alot. In some ways its creepy

[@defeatSpace]

Gabe's final form will be a giant unobtanium head.

[@Myne1001]

Amazing to see Valve revisit shelved or cut concepts. Something similar to this was to be in Portal 2, with Cave Johnson in a computer down in old Aperture. He would explain to GLADoS (in potato form) she was Caroline and then Chell would deactive the machine letting Cave finally die. No giant head though, just a box on the wall.

[@258thHiGuy]

I told those eggheads: "Hey! Eggheads, make me live forever." meanwhile, in TF2:

[@rattlestormrepublic4874]

"Good news, we are not dying, WE'RE GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!!!"

[@celsetialarchives5909]

4:57 Idk why but the soubd of that head just thundering through probably hundreds of floors gets me every time

[@Fourtune1]

Whoever the voice actor is, he’s a good fit. You don’t typically hear voice actors that sound like everyday people.

[@icevlad148]

I godda say, Cave Johnson had really dedicated people working for him. They figured out how to put a human consciousness in a computer and he and his girlfriend are the only people on earth who ended up as immortal computers.

[@comedyman4896]

Well, as far as eternal fates go, I can think of worse ones than singing in a robot vocal choir for eternity

[@Toro563]

Can't wait for the next valve game tech demo where you manufacture guns for the cps and terrorists.

[@amogusamogus8490]

Aperture would do both tbh

[@thedoorman243]

TERRORISTS WIN

[@LeFancy_]

Even if this is non canon as an alternate universe, it tells us a lot lore wise about the actual portal universe. Mostly about GLaDOS and why she acts like she does. Because they couldn’t fit the whole of Caroline in there

[@Red_LEAF187]

Even if it's a small tech Demo, It has so much Quality!! I'm so happy, since many recent games were so disapointing.

[@watchspotting]

“Backup power activated” I haven’t laughed so hard in years

[@KaoticReach1999]

Thanks for helping humanity out with the Combine Johnson, no wonder Black Mesa got more funding

[@whokaresthough4039]

I like how you can interrupt his back story at any point and he'll try listing to where the part of his story that you rudely interupted continue.

[@MagicCardboardBox]

"I thought you were two lunatics who dragged a toilet up here, but you are geniuses!"

[@bitbreaker_creator]

Eventually Cave stopped thinking

[@lizandroid]

when i played this i went in blind and the buildup to opening the door was so intense, no one but valve could have that sort of effect, just goes to show how beloved of an IP this game has been for me and many others i’m sure.

[@defcom-zc4hy]

The reference to the praying mantis men was a nice touch.

[@locust76]

"Backup power activated" "uuugh.... you're both fired." 😂🤣😂

[@notsoul2573]

This was an idea they had for Portal 2 that got cut. There's a lot of really cool cut content from Portal 2 that they said they wanted to come back to later, so it's very cool to see this might actually be canon after all!

[@dasirrlicht5415]

9:00 The Pudding was not a deception!

[@timbuktu.1]

the perfect combination of sad and hilarious