Dr. Becky Bailey - Anger - Coach kids through it!

www.ConsciousDi...
World-renowned developmental psychologist and early childhood expert, Dr. Becky Bailey demonstrates the different ways our parents dealt with upsetting moments. Through a humorous skit where she plays the child, Dr. Bailey reveals the four most common negative approaches and then how to properly coach a child with their feelings.

[@AprilMcMillanCreative]

Amazing. Is anybody else noticing how strange these responses seem between two adult adults? It makes you realize how crazy it is that we accept these responses as normal or fine from an adult to a child, and yet, we would never think that this was normal between adults. We need to give our children something that will serve them when they are adults. They’re not gonna be kids for the rest of their lives. They’re growing into adults! This makes the difference so clear and really shows why we’re putting so much effort into learning new ways to work with our kids.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Thanks for sharing!

[@aroundtheworld1692]

This is the best parenting channel that seriously want to help parents and children and not for profit

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Thanks for your support! 💙

[@dingai]

This is the most INCREDIBLE illustration of these dynamics we've all experienced... how completely different they feel! and what it looks like to do each one... how uncomfortable it is to recognize myself having done emotion dismissing and ignoring and punishing 😔

[@leilawilliams9768]

Oh my gosh someone give an Oscar to these 2, they are absolutely amazing. I had to watch this for a college class and when the blond lady said "whatever", I saw both myself and my teenage children. Just genius.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

So good right?! Glad you enjoyed it.

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

The role playing is so good; showing not telling . And it allows the viewer/learner to feel how each scenario lands in the body and why the way we meet others in distress matters. Especially our kiddos. Last thing, a lot of us weren’t met and parented well in our formative years and while we can sincerely want to parent differently and make every attempt to, we don’t know what it might look, sound and be like bc we’ve never seen anything else modeled. (The same goes with other relationships as well, like partnerships/marriage). So what you’re doing here is of benefit and important. Thank you.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

We're glad to hear you found it helpful!

[@drjsauber2879]

Remarkable. As a clinical psychologist, this is not only helpful for my work with kids, but for inner child (reparenting) work I do with adults as well. Thank you!!!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad to hear it!

[@rochellecurrigan5916]

These ladies are great actor's! They really embody their characters.

[@clairec4706]

the fumbling of the ice cream container got me lol

[@mommybreakdown]

Haha right?

[@Joyinthe__House]

The ignoring one brought back flashbacks from childhood 😢

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Sorry to hear that. We are wishing you well.

[@jamisonwatkins3318]

I love these scenarios and they demonstrate for me how I should act as a teacher. Validating their feelings, but like Shubert, showing them there is a reason for everything and talk it through. Also, when she picked up the phone in the hyped up scenario, I could hear the dial tone and that was low-key funny.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad you found those helpful and enjoyed the acting skills 😆

[@jemmayin4529]

As I was watching the video, tears just coming along. Ignoring and dismissing is exactly what my mom was doing to me. She was so busy with making money and careless of my feelings and emotions. No wonder I don't like money, I hated money when I was young, and maybe part of that is coming from this. Since my feelings are not been taken care of by my parents, I care about them very much. I'm sensitive, and emotional until this day. I'm actively seeking ways to reparent myself as well, as it would be so beautiful to feel validated, recognized, and valued. My mom has a limit on her parenting and love language, but I can learn, I can change. I'm grateful to watch this clip, and thank you so much for letting me recognize how did I felt when I was young. I'm capable of being a happy person and feel I'm valuable, important, and unique. I don't need to compare with anyone to be that, I am already. I don't need to do anything to be that, I am already. With or without my mom's validation, I am like that. 🤟

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

So sorry you had to go through that. We are wishing you well and love your message at the end! 🫶

[@doreenluedtke153]

Reading, Writing, Arithmetic and Relationships… that’s what needs to be taught in schools. Let’s include , Finance and Child development, too! 🙌

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

So true!

[@EQ4Peace]

Hi. Very good stuff. I liked the Coaching part, but I would add one thing. When the daughter comes in all agitated, I would have her first stomp, or growl, or clench up and FEEL (and release) the anger energy in her body. This accomplishes a few things at once: 1) it builds rapport between parent and child, as mom 'gets' that daughter is angry, 2) it builds "Emotional Responsibility" showing the daughter that SHE is responsible for her anger... she created it (with her angry thoughts) and she (and only she) can do something with it, and about it, and 3) it allows her to release the anger energy from her body, also relieving the stress, tension and agitation she feels, and allowing her poor body to relax, and heal. Thanks for helping people/kids/parents understand how to handle their emotions!

[@LibertyCairde]

Matt Perelstein Excellent addition! That sounds like adding in somatic experiencing from trauma work!! I’ve been adding in running motions if i really feel like I just want to run away from the emotional overwhelm. It really helps to act out the feelings!!!

[@dealingwithfeeling763]

I love this! It demonstrates all they ways we work through emotions with our kids. It is powerful! I love how you walk us through the different approaches parents take. Helping children cope with their own feelings and work through them is so important. My books written on a first grade pre-primer level for beginning readers help children do just that. It has taken years of writing books on emotion for children to realize this is key. My 'I Feel...When..' book series does this and works at one emotion per book. This way children become more emotionally literate.

[@oceaniablueflame4956]

I need somebody to coach me first! 😂 I love this!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

@@oceaniablueflame4956 💙

[@danskhansen]

As someone who grew up with an abusive parent I can truly say that holding space with someone who is raging is one of the most valuable social skills a person can learn.

[@JonathanRung]

validating feelings FTW! People (me included) can be so quick to dismiss or deny negative feelings of any sort (angry, sad, scared, etc), but it always backfires. Acknowledge the anger, its source, and show some understanding - as simple as "you look angry - he ripped your paper? - you worked so hard on that! I feel angry when my work is broken, too." Doing that can make proceeding to a solution so much easier. the hardest one is sadness - sometimes it seems like it makes things worse.

[@Noctra_GGs]

Seeing the "saving" skit made me realize that is how my mother was my entire childhood. It was a normal thing for me and I never recognized it as being an unhealthy way of dealing with my anger/problems. This was very helpful in seeing how to properly handle that kind of situation.

[@codesecreto0]

Excelente ejemplo muchísimas gracias dra.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

💙

[@hchscadets]

The beginning makes me want to cry and I worry that I’m too much like all of these. Deep breaths. We got this.

[@danielwei484]

this is such a good demonstration, I am going to use it in my parenting workshop. thanks so much

[@s.s.7705]

this is really helpful. i’m glad i came across this. often i find myself responding in a heightened manner because the tension they sometimes bring out of no where triggers something in me. i need to work on myself to be better for them.

[@jarahstrobel778]

I love this so much!!!!!!!!! I have taught all these student's parents.

[@Joyinthe__House]

Wow this was very eye opening to watch

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad to hear it resonated with you!

[@alienshavevideostoo]

This is a very interesting portrayal of Emotion Coaching. I hope you do more of these videos!

[@girloffaith16]

Every parent needs to watch this

[@arianahelvie5033]

That acting was awesome!!

[@nicolehubert7308]

Why did I tear up from some of these examples 😩❤️. Watching to break the cycle. 🙌

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Us too! They hit home for sure. 💙

[@zzzh9160]

Thank you for putting all of that energy in the video😀

[@mgrv29]

This was one of the best parenting videos I’ve ever seen

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

We're glad to hear it!

[@meganrae6575]

Wow. This is powerful! I've done all. Now, I will do more of the coaching!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

You've got this!

[@tmb7415]

This video was very helpful! I’m learning just HOW strongly I have been programmed! This is SO difficult for me, but I’m working everyday!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Wishing you well on your journey, keep practicing!

[@aliviasummerville3039]

I just learned so much!! I am a SAVE mom!! I need to learn these coaching skills ASAP!!!

[@drjsauber2879]

me too!

[@dawnpartin_staff-fuquayvar7893]

I lol when Becky threw the backpack on the chair. That is exactly how my boys do it.

[@RichardTatomir]

I was looking and looking for this exact type of modeling video to help the complex families I work with--one that mirrors our behaviour back at us to recognize what not to do/catch ourselves and then shift into what to do, practically. From one therapist to another, brilliantly done. I will be showing this video right this afternoon in a parenting session!

[@joannedouglas2312]

Brilliant messages portrayed through drama on this topic. Very clearly defined.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad you found it helpful!

[@kristygee7548]

I want to say Thankyou I took the parenting class and started using the tools in my home. I'm very proud of myself it is working.

[@hadassah9323]

Wonderful illustration, on point!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Thank you! 💙

[@alastrionaseger8571]

Uuuummmm. WOW!!! That was... like really amazing. 😲 Thank you for sharing! I'm literally going to binge these so I can better help/communicate with others. Thank you so much! 🤯🤯🤯

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad to hear it! Enjoy watching!

[@MayaLiladiVento]

I'm dying 😂😂😂 These are amazing.

[@hadassah9323]

This was 12 years ago but it's so RELEVANT!!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Yes, just as relevant now! 💙

[@apinderkaur3673]

excellent explanation of different behaviors

[@shazzaonline]

Excellent video, I love it

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Thank you very much!

[@karonpowell750]

Thank you!!❤This brings up ways I am familiar with! Seeing this helps to uncover some stuff.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Glad to hear it! 💙

[@patriciafuentes6805]

Awesome! this video was very helpful very important to help peoples, parents and children to better understand and manage emotions and feelings about all anger and stress ty so much Dr. Becky Bailey ! to put it into practice !

[@doloresarevalo6259]

Thankyou this. Video was so good for me and my husband

[@maureenm969]

Brilliantly done!!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Thank you Maureen!

[@JustinWalkerTube]

I thought this was great! Thank you for making the video.

[@clairdelune9341]

3. Dissmsive mom was the hardest example to watch. But I'm definitely the 4. The save mom 😂

[@createa.googleaccount713]

Coaching still doesn't Stop & Listen! Still trying to solve Wayyy too soon!

[@aliaroberts8046]

This is great! Tu for doing this as an example! My families really enjoy all your videos during distance learning AND I enjoy them as well. It is all very helpful!

[@linamoreno4926]

Loved this video! Thanks! How can I coach my kids when they react like that because they are upset with me? If they don’t like the food or something we did?

[@bouncybutterfly7753]

And she throws her stuff in the other room!! Haha! That was the first time I’ve ever snorted when I was laughing!! 😂😂

[@stacyburrell13]

Great job!!

[@TamiThunderwolf]

Wow absolutely love it

[@andreasusan5612]

Well done! Very helpful.

[@thecleaningfairies7166]

How is that this video is not a trending one:) !!!

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

+Carmen Caballero We are fond of it too!

[@JiLoa13]

I tried to focus on this video but all I kept thinking about is how clean that bowl must be now. Haha

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

LOL! Super clean.😉

[@sweetnovember3984]

This is fabulous! You nailed it! It is hilarious, because it is so accurate. Has helped me so so much! I Need all your books and DVDs, but I live in Germany. Where can I get them except for Amazon?

[@6botty]

The third one is soo dangerous lead you to overspilling for people eventually.

[@samihaghannam6520]

Love it

[@Katiebugg777]

Years later and I still wonder what happened to Marcus.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

lol we all do too!

[@kullatk5425]

Oh thank you so much. It clearly

[@LiquidWisdom]

I really really REALLY want to carefully write a set of intertwined short stories to make this point!

[@MichellePerdomoCoaching]

Excellence 🎉🙏🤩

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

💙

[@JaimeGalvez7]

Wow!!!! 🎉🎉

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

💙

[@fanellwilliams6389]

I liked this

[@JiLoa13]

My mother was going through enough, didn't need my problems too. I just kept quiet and kept problems to myself.

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

We're sorry to hear that. Wishing you well.

[@JiLoa13]

Appreciate it, but all is well. I do however wonder at times how my childhood has impacted me later on in life. I have seen good and bad. But wouldn't change it for I wouldn't be the person I am today. I am happy being me, I also work on the parts I don't like. "No one is more youer than you, that's truer than true"

[@7625e]

lmao you could still hear dial tone @ 3:30

[@anamaria13021984]

which would be the right way to approach a situation like this?

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

the last one, "Coach" models a helpful way to approach the situation.

[@joannsnipe7600]

A parent would have to first come the child, then listen to what happened and why the child feel the why she/he do. Then listen to the teacher's side of the stories.

[@chiapalachi]

Was any of these considered to be the appropriate one.??. Or all the reactions were incorrect because few of them seemed encouraging to me..

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

The final one "Coach" was the approach we would recommend.

[@heather26danny]

i like this!! Sounds like my 8 year old! interesting!

[@DestinyGPlus3]

This is great and all. But what about children who have odd, and adhd. They lie and are narcissist? My son is this away and he'll lie so fast to get someone introuble. And I fully believe he has anger too.. nothing we do works, his therapist is trying but not a single thing works.

[@GLADYS1191965]

This is good, but I have nothing to go on, because I didn't tell when I had a problem. And it wasn't because I was afraid of my parents, I have awesome parents.

[@majaaurorafamilyvlogs141]

Love it.

[@erickaparks1616]

Thanks for this

[@cherylinchrist4826]

My mother was a awesome parent. I was wondering if this author had any children herself?

[@Tansy17]

I definitely tend to save... 😵

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

The first step is to acknolwedge it, and you did that! That's a start. Just take it one day at a time. 💙

[@gonzalezneida9354]

Yes more with school age 6-13

[@jackkanovysac4998]

the child is as old as the mother?

[@createa.googleaccount713]

All Gaslighting