Dr. Gabor Maté: The Myth of Normal & The Power of Connection | Wholehearted

[@LarsRichterMedia]

"safety isn't a lack of threat but a presence of connection" - wow!

[@cristinalauradinca3507]

Yes

[@Pikkinmink7]

It's the same as "quite isn't peace"

[@jenniferwootten3632]

It's unfortunate that it's not innate to seek or self soothe the lack of love and connection (never knowing the love of God is our very own heart) . We are taught that God is some mean and cruel father who is up in the sky judging us every time we make a mistake. We learn to self sabatoge and police our minds by suppressing our emotions in order to be socially accepted. Then, we get punished through separation from society and the love of our own parents through guilt shame and remorse. There come a point of breaking when a person struggles to accept that it just does not add up to pay for crimes against out humanity as if we were the one to blame for things that go wrong in our life...consistently.

[@robynhope219]

@@LarsRichterMedia someone else said it first... guaranteed

[@testtest2609]

I grew up in an African country where women stay in bed feeding and sleeping with their newborn for 40 days. These cultures have wisdom beyond Westerners who value money & productivity even after childbirth. They know she is stressed so the community makes it easy for her by keeping her company and feeding her family & her during this time. She feels less overwhelmed, taken care of/someone's got her back so postpartum complications are reduced. Seems like they understand human psychology much better.

[@ucanleaveyourhaton]

Oh my gosh ! That is a brilliant tradition and should be adopted by every culture on earth. It’s not natural to give birth one day and then resume normal life the next.

[@ScarletSky03]

You're missing the point if you think it's about the east vs. west paradigms of thought.

[@shannonblack5828]

I'm glad to know such humanity does exist on planet Earth... Sheesh, I am doomed to remain on the content of North America indefinitely devolving in such ignorance.. I am happy that such peoples exist...

[@testtest2609]

@@ScarletSky03 Humans make heaven and hell here on earth (not afterlife) by being weaned on maternal/communal love or not...ie. attachment theory. You're doomed if you can't learn from the profound beauty of this & offer knee jerk arbitrary/vague critiques.

[@goldendots2549]

@@ScarletSky03 all she said is that this is what was happening in the African country where she was raised... This is a very nice cultural practice that should be applied to every part of the world be it western or not..

[@sunnydays497]

I live in Australia and was helping an 8 year Sudanese refugee girl with shool work on Saturdays as part of a volunteer group about 10 years ago. Her sister was about 10 months old and she wanted me to hold her, so I held her how I normally hold toddlers but she wasnt impressed almost annoyed😊 she pointed to my heart and at her heart to indicate she wanted to be held on my left side with our hearts touching, wanted me to protrude my hip a little instead of standing straight then wrapped her tiny legs around my waist, then looked into my eyes dmiled as if to say now I feel connected and protected. Im female and I was about 40 years old when this happened, I still remember that moment. I was so focussed on trying teach math but instead got taught by a baby how to actually physically connect.

[@archiem9926]

❤

[@lesliebird6690]

Wow….I am rarely speechless…that is so beautiful

[@JO-zf4ky]

Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing

[@HaythamTrueheartH]

Beautiful story. I am a 20 year old from Brisbane. Dr Gabor saved my life. He will visit Australia in February. ❤ It is my ultimate dream to become a schoolteacher and establish my own school called National Wisdom Community College. I am First Nations. ❤

[@alibalhas9333]

That's how it's done in Lebanon too ❤❤❤

[@gmzerozero3678]

I'm starting to rediscover connection with my fellow humans and my higher power through AA. 7 days sober. I've been watching a lot off this man's speeches and it helps me understand how I became so broken. I'm working to change my ways so that I can have more meaningful and lasting connections. My mind and body are not used to this so I see it as stressful. I never want to drink again. One day at a time. Edit: Now 10 months sober. Thanks everyone for the kind words.

[@domesticated_kat]

I hope you're doing well

[@bealubbers8431]

Take care!

[@trac111111]

I'm excited for you. I was broken and a slop-show when I was drinking. YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO CONTROL what has been controlling you! I suggest a video called Pleasure Unwoven... it helped me understand the physiological and biological aspects of addiction. I'm eight years sober and I thank our creator, YHWH (YAHUA) and his son, Yahusha for removing my sickness from me.

[@mnemonyss]

You got this! Introspection is powerful as long as you learn from your past

[@FlowersandSun22]

I can relate to what you’re saying about connections being stressful. The whole dealing. I’m glad you got help and is better understanding yourself

[@mollyeisen-kearns5013]

My gastroenterologist did ask me about trauma childhood and mental health - had a compassionate response and told me he would adjust his exam and treatment with this information and asked me what he could do to be sensitive to this - like having a female assistant in the room! I was very impressed

[@mollyeisen-kearns5013]

His name is dr arjal in templeton CA

[@jamieanderson5991]

wonderful! Things are changing and its refreshing to see doctors like this.

[@ImLehwz]

Amazing 🙏🏽

[@mamboSG]

Wow

[@marcelaaviles85]

How wonderfull!!

[@kendo9985]

'Why do children cry? Because they have no other way to ask for help'. Seemingly obvious, but so profound.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Absolutely! He'll say things that make you think, why didn't I think of that?

[@robynhope219]

@@WholeheartedPublishing idk why u didn't think of that...I did! This guy is no brain surgeon

[@oceanecastelnau9821]

​@@robynhope219Why you needed to post online just to try to diminish Dr Maté in our eyes is a greater curiosity 👀

[@robynhope219]

@oceanecastelnau9821 Because y'all overrating him...maybe ik something you don't know about him.

[@julie5668]

As a nanny, I used to walk my child in his buggy to a place every day. On the way as we reached the top of the hill, I would point out certain things as we passed them and make the appropriate noises where needed. One day I just forgot this, and the little boy turned around at looked at me as if prompting me. It made me realise that he was listening to me all this time, and I wasn't just talking into thin air.

[@sylviaoesterwinter8858]

Dr, Mate saved my life. My parents were raised in WWII Germany. In my immediate family, we have MDD, Anxiety, Suicide, ALS, GBS, fibromyalgia, Sjogren's Syndrome, eating disorders, addiction, and abusive marriages. I am trying hard to break the cycle but am exhausted.

[@theexotic2983]

It's okay to be exhausted. Take time off, be in nature as it stimulates alpha brain waves and causes you to relax. Our brains are plastic. You'll be fine. We're rooting for you.

[@sylviaoesterwinter8858]

@@theexotic2983 thank you.

[@SparingPolymath]

You are ceaselessly heroic in your divine humanity. Always, always and always. Big hugs from a friend in California

[@sylviaoesterwinter8858]

@@SparingPolymath Thank you from California

[@remoteholiday1712]

It seems that I am reading about my family.... You are not alone. Gabor Mate, were the first man who explained in very basic, simple words, what a hell is going on, and I will be by His side as biggest fan forever. He showed to me a Light button. And now I can press it anytime, myself.

[@meganpage206]

12 years without a drink, and 22 months clean from opioid abuse after a tough surgery. I ran for so long from my childhood trauma and simultaneously lived inside of it. After being misdiagnosed bipolar, I am off all psychiatric medication. This isn’t a path for everyone and I’m grateful for the medication, it helped me when I needed it most. I worked closely with my therapist and my psychiatrist to wean off. It’s opened space for me to process the trauma from my past. I’m learning my why and I couldn’t have understood that without listening to Gabor Mate’s talks.

[@MennatEllaithy]

❤

[@sheiladuke3289]

😊😅😅😊

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@dll7658]

❤❤

[@daniellacosta1756]

I could listen to Dr Gabor all day, every day because it's like listening to my soul speaking. I know what he is saying is true deep down in the core of my being.

[@nch1646]

You have articulated it so well!

[@cristinaferrero]

So true, I feel the same.

[@danielagarpal]

I do everyday when getting ready and cooking. Has changed my outlook on my parenting and has made me a more compassionate woman overall

[@mohammadabulaban2279]

That is really astonishing to listen to your soul , wow

[@user-tl9re9cb4w]

Same

[@kennethokeefebrake8415]

Gabor, Speaking as a retired Respiratory Therapist (acute care, emergency department and trauma room, and critical care), 40 year Martial Arts practitioner & coach, and social activist I am moved by your passion and human compassion. I have learned so much from you about humanity and life. Thanks! Ken

[@markrichmond2168]

Ken I am a retired RT after 47 years in the profession. Neonate to geriatric. Navy corpsman and civilian. This man is so spot on. Western medicine in its own way is barbarous .

[@robynhope219]

@@kennethokeefebrake8415 whatever u've learnt from him, he copied from other people...GM ain't original.

[@healthexcellenceconsulting]

​@@robynhope219So what is your original take on these subjects?

[@robynhope219]

@@healthexcellenceconsulting hey, listen: I never made false claims like he does!

[@Lily-xr2yq]

It’s a privilege to be alive at the same time and learning from this legendary human being Dr Mate’ 🙏🙏❤️🩷

[@philippavanderhoven7610]

I'm a preschool teacher. I agree one hundred percent with what you say. Thank you, thank you!! Young children thrive and develop in a loving, nurturing environment where they feel safe and connected with their primary care giver. You've confirmed what my heart and experience has shown me. God bless you.

[@chocovinniecairo]

This should be on the tv

[@tiptapkey]

My mom used to brag that I barely cried as a baby, like it was proof that I was a good child. But I think now that it was because I knew that I wouldn't be heard or helped, so I just gave up.

[@itzakpoelzig330]

Same and same.

[@fran791]

That's a bad mom, you deserved better

[@nevadatan7323]

Yeah I asked mine what she liked about me as a baby. The answer was "because you were generous and the way you just took yourself off to bed". Uhmm. How fkd up is that. I was people pleasing as a baby and had to parent myself 😳 [ she was a neglectful narcissist whos done my psyche untold damage.] It's insulting that they wear these statements with such oblivious pride.

[@Isildur94]

Same

[@susansampson1146]

Posting anything by Dr. Gabor Mate is a treasured gift.

[@joobinmcgroobin5181]

Victimship garbage....Jordan Peterson is the way to go

[@robynhope219]

@@joobinmcgroobin5181 GM is a professional victim who got rich playing victim 🙁 main reason I dislike him.

[@galemartinez6585]

I had the biggest breakthrough today, and it is such a relief 😢

[@user-rb7rx9cs6y]

“Your living in an environment where your feelings threaten your attachments” that’s so true. Wow. Been following Gabor for awhile but I never noticed that line. It’s true in childhood, it’s true in adulthood

[@kmck82]

Biggest takeaway: I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was 17. I was pumped full of medication and given no bio-psycho-social support and had to figure it out for myself. When I read his book “when the body says no”, it blew my mind. Now listening to this, I see that I was/am a “stress-absorber”. I can’t wait to read “the myth of normal”. I am gradually healing myself. Thank you Dr Maté. #wholehearted

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Thank you for sharing your story!

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

We love your comment and would like to offer you a free book! Please email us at ethanw [at] wholehearted.org and we'll talk next steps!

[@-living4jesus4ever-]

What a great testimony! What had helped you most with RA? I’m 39 and have all the symptoms and will do anything to get well!

[@91010186]

Did it fix your arthritis? Probably not

[@riner60341]

​@@91010186you are right. The medical field did not fix it. Oh well. I'm sure they will keep making money... I mean... Trying to fix it.

[@EuropesNinja]

This is one of the most amazing talks I've ever heard. I studied 4 years of psychology and we were not taught like this. It's only after studying sociology and then through my own consumption of research on trauma that I found out even a hint of what this guy is saying. This is it.

[@itzakpoelzig330]

You might feel inspired to read "The Continuum Concept'" by Jean Liedloff. She explained much of this (and more) very eloquently 50 years ago. It's an astonishing read.

[@NP-ui3tr]

Isn’t it just mind blowing how little information we’re exposed to, even those of us who have graduated with a bachelors or masters or even a PhD I have two masters & I had to seek out for myself the information that interested me (connected to a topic I was studying) bc for as “liberal” as universities are, there is most certainly a “knowledge filter” that exists & far too few professors who are willing to share it with their students

[@SpiritMari]

I just wanted to say a big thank you to Wholehearted publishing, for making this talk available online free for everyone. It’s so important to have people like Gabor, who use science but also understand humans on an emotional and spiritual level and are able to identify issues and problems on a large, whole scale. So many things in life are taught and presented as segregated, disjointed and isolated, which simply isn’t true. Yet, this pervasive idea is the backbone of our modern society that values artificial power and possessions over human connection. Truly, thank you for this wonderful talk, it will help me on my soul-digging journey. ❤

[@LvsKent]

I have been a truth seeker for all my life due to childhood sexual abuse and the fact that my family did not support me or help in any way. I always speak out when I see an injustice but it does not win me any friends and in fact it has alienated me further from certain people. I once spoke out to a new Mum that insisted that she had to ignore her crying baby as she felt she was just being naughty. She has never spoken to me again when I pointed out that I felt she was causing her baby harm. Dr Gabor Mate is a breath of fresh air for me.

[@luck484]

I can see from your words that you are doing the best you can to best the you can be. I support your intent. I gently suggest the new Mum was also doing her beat.

[@massivecrit650]

Never teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and irritates the pig

[@hbinfinity]

My thyroid healed when I started meditating. It's a longer story than that. This guy is gold.

[@slickrick5596]

Yeah

[@hildaamethyst528]

What’s your story?

[@hbinfinity]

@@hildaamethyst528 Look up Joe Dispenza.

[@robynhope219]

You needed him to start meditating (scratches head)...

[@hbinfinity]

@@robynhope219 your response makes zero sense.

[@FrederiqueBertin]

You are right about the myth of normal . When facing all of the ruin of our society better staying away from it .

[@sohila5033]

I'm reading this book the myth of normal. I have wept reading it cus I can feel my own trauma releasing as I go through it. His wisdom, depth and courage moves people. Thank you Universe for delivering Dr Mate to us after 13.8 billion years

[@HeavenlyMe11]

??

[@daniel23554]

"Stress is not an individual... It is a social problem" -- Dr Gabor Mate Makes me think differently about how to treat my/our stress!

[@robynhope219]

Quote makes no sense.

[@donnatoots]

Thank you ❤️

[@catsmeow3478]

This beautiful, brilliant man was born for such a time as this and we are blessed that he’s sharing his gift with the world. Praying that more get it. 🙏 Safe attachment and fulfillment of childhood needs would change the world.

[@c.schuster7353]

This man has a powerful message for all of us. We have literally become sick on a global basis, cause we hold onto negative beliefes and emotions about us, the others, and about life itself. But as I can see, more and more people are healing and asking important questions, and people like Gabor Maté are acting as healers and facilitaters for this importan evolution of human consciousnes. I cannot express how grateful and lucky I feel, because the powerful message of Dr. Maté has transformed me already.

[@ericaschippers]

❤

[@rossienorris6323]

Once a critical mass of people believe these truths and begin to act on them our world can change I Believe. Thank you for your courage and wisdom. The world needs more of your teaching if we are to survive as a human race.

[@brows.]

Imagine the world if everyone took some time to read this thing.

[@tracybeyer2804]

Dr Gabor Mate saved my life. I'm so happy his findings are reaching and teaching the world.

[@Ergtt7491]

Me too!! I realized my personal learning is on point due to his profession!

[@Grimm_Butterfly]

I say it all the time. Now that I'm still here at 30 (I caught his work YOUNG!) I am still ate up my inflammatory diseases. I hope one day to figure out what I need.

[@questioneverything7582]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@kimlarso]

No, you saved your life……he just shined a light in your crack(s) 🐛🦋

[@lyng.jegher]

He's contributing on widening my perspectives based on Global issues.

[@livondiramerian6999]

The essence of the human nature is based on love, compassion, kindness, nature, respect, cooperation, tolerance, peace, equality, health, knowledge, freedom, sociability, & humanness.

[@josephanderson6410]

Yes! You nailed it! ❤

[@james.yt.00]

Tremendous wisdom packed into 1 hour.

[@CatsPawPrint-23]

Agreed... Definitely Worth the watch. Loved listening as well. Helpful and useful.

[@nathananderson8720]

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZbin channel 10 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,970 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Hi @nathananderson8720, thank you for sharing about your journey, it puts a big smile on face. I hope you continue to grow and share! ~AJ

[@nathananderson8720]

@@WholeheartedPublishing Thank you! What I really focus on is the value of the content and what I’m truly passionate about while helping others! I'm glad that I'm foolish enough to believe that I can actually start making money through my passions. I've never thought that I'd be able to gain 1K subs faster. I can't imagine how many opportunities could have been wasted if I didn't have courage to go after them. That includes having this channel, being in a management role, having the people who actually care about me for who I am, freelance gigs, being an ambassador in a creative community and now I'm also planning on honing my public speaking skills through joining a toastmaster club and these all happened in 2023. It started with writing them all down on a piece of paper. A paper that serves as a reminder for me to go after what I want even through hard times. I'm not bragging about my accomplishments but simply hoping that this message can also inspire others to believe in themselves.

[@doracardona484]

Listening to a child cry all night would drive me CRAZY!!This made me realize how blessed I am for having had parents that did all those good things and a 15- member family that cared for me! 🙏🏼

[@robynhope219]

You are TOO lucky!

[@heathervandervort9161]

Wow Dr. Maté! This is eye opening and explains why 30 years of suppressing my emotions and desperately seeking connection with my ex-husband while keeping it secret resulted in my breast cancer diagnosis (with no family history). It also explains that the stress I endured during my pregnancy from my husband coming home and telling me “he wasn’t happy” while I was pregnant resulted 3 miscarriages and in my son’s asthma (no family history) diagnosis. But there is no one to blame he (ex-husband) was a victim punished as a child for expressing his emotions by his parents. This is the generational curse spoken about in the Bible but this cycle stops with me.

[@nnenne1]

Spoken in the bible? Wasn’t it God himself that allowed all these craziness?

[@anonymos5726]

God is LOVE, He doesn't allow these things, He allows free will without interfering unless you ask Him to ( prayer).

[@magicalmmmy580]

I am so grateful as a mom to have access to these teachings. It’s going to take all of us and our children and their children to nurture our society into something healthy. 💗✨ #wholehearted

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Absolutely! We can work together to bring about a positive change!

[@rochellebroglen4155]

If hurt people hurt people, whole people heal people. Thank you for doing the work. May your path be blessed.

[@magicalmmmy580]

@@WholeheartedPublishing tyy -from her daughter

[@magicalmmmy580]

@@rochellebroglen4155 :))

[@michellecook-hill]

Oh yessss mama ❤️👏🥰

[@Ranaelibrik]

I've been watching Gabor before sleep lately as his voice and words are helping soothe me and put me to sleep. As a result, I started seeing him in my dreams. Not complaining.

[@robynhope219]

@@Ranaelibrik 😂putting me to sleep is what he does for me!!

[@chrysallis2735]

Trauma Neuroscience is how we will solve problems and create world peace- They NEED to listen to this incredible neuroscience genius with incredible compassion

[@AmandaK399]

I had eating disorders from my teens till my late 40’s. I was DX with ADHD at age 38. DX with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sjogren’s at age 42. My baby brother was ‘dual diagnosis’ and died at home in my childhood bedroom when he was 27 years old. I am a support staff for college students seeking help, and read Scattered Minds three weeks ago. The book blew my mind and I am already helping my college students with some of the core takeaways from Scattered Minds- my campus has 14,000 students and I work with MANY of them! I can’t wait to read the Myth of Normal! Everything that Dr. Mate writes, says, and shares, I agree with fully. His messages are a gift to all humans everywhere. Spread the word, friends! It is time to love, connect, listen, share, and be. ❤

[@ryani777]

Thank you for being you and doing what you do! ❤

[@jobottenberg793]

Tian Dayton wrote a book called “Trauma and Addiction” which blew my mind but Gabor Mate is hypnotically awe inspiring like rainbows to your soul. I’m a medical professional so his M.D. makes it completely sensible and precisely articulate. On my own as an ignored single child, I became astute on managing my problems and options perhaps because I had so much forced solitude. It’s as if Dr. Mate sees all the way inside of me throughout this treacherous journey. I’m still grappling at 62 years of age. I look forward to Dr. Mate being there with me as I unwind my remaining behavioral compensations and to feel complete with self affection. Thank you Dr. Mate for being so generous with all you are. May you have 2 more decades of life and teaching 🙏

[@robynhope219]

He is only generous when making shitloads of 💰

[@amandalee5312]

I have C-PTSD. When Dr Mate says "it's not what are we going to do" that is the important question, is a statement that is powerfully transformative for me. It's "why" that is important.

[@anitainmo489]

Dear Lord, we have it all wrong when it comes to bringing up a child. This has to be taught to every would be parent.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Definitely. Gabor covers so many different topics, but his insight on parenting is among the most popular because just about every parent needs to hear it, and almost no one is.

[@leandrashipps9893]

@@WholeheartedPublishing I am one of them! My purpose work is about putting the parent back into the middle of society in order to make sure the children are nurtured by the whole community. Parenting is a beautiful and spiritual practice and I hope to inspire parents to allow this journey to unfold in a connective and loving way. I have a coined topic I've come up with called a Social Climate Change. And it takes village frameworks to structure ourselves where our human needs are met, creating happy communities and nations. Thank you, Dr. Gabor Mate for a wonderful teaching!

[@cheche9528]

My daughter developed asthma at infant age. Literally happened in front of eye! While I am begging her father not push me further. Make our life so impossible, the stress pass on our child, I did my best shelter her from what’s going on on my marriage. But he didn’t care or believe whatever I says at the time, he only sees me as villain and anime, as Asian women grow up in our Asian couture. We understand the connection between mother and child at early age, we won’t even leave house first 2 months after baby is born. We always hold the baby and eat and sleep in same circles. As American men don’t seem empathy towards all this delicacy of the early stage of the childbirth and stress of life changes for the women, our body and sense of belonging are shift towards the baby! You attacking the mom is as same as attacking the baby. At least some part of the stress will transfer to the child no matter how strong the mother is! When mother under threat. Domestic violence, cheating and abuse. How can she complete shelter the baby not feeling the pain and stress as I remember. How demanding the baby was towards the mother, need mother full attention! She was so afraid I leave her. I can’t make any sound. She will wake up and cry. I knew she was affected… I wish there was any other way. I was all by myself and alone. No family or friends can help us. Now we are happy and healthy, she still live with me and we are very close. Her asthma is in control. But still. My guilt aways there. I aways honest and genuine with her and all her questions, and I let her know how I was raised and I am working on myself to be conscious parenting which means I do my best but if I wrong. Please forgive me. Now I am helping her relationship with her father, because I want her to succeed in life and make better choice than I ever could.

[@daniel23554]

It sounds like you are doing what you can to help your daughter to thrive. Supporting yourself is important too. Don't forgot that you are important too, and that your health also affects your child, yet also enables you to better handle relationship challenges. Asian and Western cultures have different ways of communicating and showing love, yet ultimately, we still care. Many people are not taught how to effectively communicate across cultures, let alone have healthy relationships. So, it can be very hard. I'm sure it will work out for you all. Take care.

[@maishaferdousi4865]

Louise Hay .. healing trauma ..

[@ArAmsamsam-388]

Another Asian mother living in the west here. I feel you too❤

[@Anneseye]

Thank you for reminding me, after a day of disheartening pain, that my scoliosis spine is my teacher. I call her Caroline, when I remember to not turn from her. I am learning to re-parent myself, to repair the severed attachments, to release the the rage from my heart and tension from my muscles so I can live joyfully and freely. In connection to myself and others.

[@barbarastrate8388]

Thankfully doctors and Society in general are becoming more aware of this crisis and need. May I suggest that people investigate, become educated about, and look to homeopathy for this kind of medical diagnosis and treatment. That is what homeopathic doctors do, well, most of them; homeopathy looks at the entire person, their mental, emotional, spiritual; their history on all levels. They carefully note the person's physical and emotional responses to each remedy. The fact that some people are trying to do away with a proven and efficacious system, she is another evidence of the controlled Madness we're living in. THANK YOU Gabor for your work to bring some sanity and common sense back!! May this movement gain momentum!!

[@mike9512]

I am loving this guy. So many modern so-called "wise men" today spew their discussions about humanity with a political lens (looking at you Peterson). But this guy really feels like he's talking about and to the human race, but with wisdom and compassion.

[@brucejay1409]

There's one big difference....Dr Mate is not only psychologist , he's also a medical doctor of many years experience. So, he has a vast knowledge of both the mind and body. I'm certainly not anti JP. I think he offers a lot of good, practical advice and he's a brilliant motivational speaker. But I get concerned when I hear him handing out medical advice and discussing psychiatric conditions - neither of which he is qualified to do .

[@kingy002]

Well said, Mike. Guys like Peterson are part of the problem, but so many see them as the solution. I spurn them like I would a rabid dog.

[@Aluvs1]

This man has connected all the dots. For the first time in my life I understand the “why” of my behavior. It was a lightbulb moment and thought, why didn’t I know this sooner? I’ve cried listening to him, because I’ve seen him do the happy childhood challenge-I was one of those people. I’ve learned so much through his work and wish he was more known in this world. He deserves more recognition. I was thrilled when he was interviewing all the psychologist, psychiatrists and specialists when the Wisdom of Trauma came out. Blessed to have come across his work ❤life changing for me. Thank you Dr. Mate 🙏🏽

[@daysjours]

I met his son the award winning journalist Aaron and he is the kindest warmest guy.

[@Lihz254]

What an honour to hear world’s greatest and beloved teacher Gabor mentioning my city and country Nairobi Kenya 🥰.

[@dr.florence]

can't unsee what he sais now whenever I see a pram!

[@wambuialice957]

me too. This guy is my Hero

[@happygucci5094]

The cogency, compassion and brilliance of this man is phenomenal. The sheer breadth and scope of the picture he is painting is breathtaking.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Absolutely! He has so much to say and has such a way of making complicated ideas simple.

[@joeldwest]

I love what he is saying also. I am in Houston, Texas. Where are you?

[@gazels11]

Agreed!

[@CMoore8539]

@@joeldwest I believe that they are in California. Gabor Mate lives in Canada.

[@valkiehaider4544]

"CHANGE".. "TO LIVE IS TO CHANGE".. "TO SUCCEED WE CHANGE OFTEN "... love you Gabor!!

[@ShelaghBluebell]

How lucky we are that this seeming "voice crying in the wilderness" is actually pointing to the answer to the way the world is now, a world and a life that most would agree is pathologically sick. There ARE reasons for that. . And there ARE solutions. Thank you for being with us, Dr. Gabor Mate. In my 80 years on this planet, I have never heard anyone enunciate the truth of our human life as clearly as this man does. He knows whereof he speaks! THank you, thank you, thank you! I'm glad I've lived long enough to know this person! At last, at last! There's hope for us all if we do our individual part of being true to ourselves.

[@Happyhappy-km8bl]

Beautiful expression!! I am glad I read your comment.

[@jennamortensen72]

Biggest takeaway, “it is not our behavior that defines our nature, but our needs that define our nature” As a mental health professional this couldn’t have been put more wonderfully The part where he discussed pathology, so correct a diagnosis is a view of what is needed, this can vary from professional to professional. So well put Dr. Mate #wholehearted

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Love it, I agree that this is one of his most important points. If our needs are met, we will behave in certain predictable ways, and if they are not met, we will behave in other predictable ways.

[@constancewalsh3646]

I concur. This is a most quotable quote, easy to remember, illuminating.

[@Szil16]

Abandonment, infant coping not open again. Adult coping? Still trying to figure out. For me it takes 5-7 days of non opening 😞 . Still beter than 15 years ago, when I walked away totally. When our needs are met, we behave differently. This might help me indeed. Also when raising my son. Fulfilling his needs will bring the right behaviour. Whoohhh… great!

[@tomliuyt]

Can you explain this point in detail?

[@jacobus57]

It is up to US to define and meet our needs, to adjust expectations, and not to expect anyone else to carry that water for us.

[@sarahj.3043]

If everyone read his latest book, maybe more kindness and understanding could start to flow in this world. The separation and cruelty is rife.... Everyone has trauma on some level, yet many deny and suppress it...and create pain for others ..... this work of Gabor’s is the foundations of a world beginning to heal.... thanking life for Gabor, Levine, Van der Kolk , Roland Bal and all those sharing this deep work........

[@spiritosa0123]

“many deny and suppress it… and create pain for others. Such a intuitive and profound idea. unconsciously passing on trauma by brutalizing others

[@StJane]

I also had come to the conclusion that our culture is killing us, but you just doubled the depth of my understanding. Thank YOU again

[@Anita-f8o8m]

He is compassionate, insightful & so humane. ❤

[@DennisMoore664]

One of my favorite people who I'll probably never meet. Thank you, Dr. Maté.

[@Caffeind-og8qh]

really wow. unbelievable how clear and insightful he is. this is the way.

[@ATeitter]

This is true, in addition to the fact that 80% of women's immune systems are focused on the reproduction system during our menstrual cycle and pregnancy leaving us more susceptible to viruses and disease during those times, coupled with the abuse and treatment and everything that Dr. Mate says. Its a one-two punch for women. Thank you for your work Dr. Mate. It is immensely important.

[@NikitaSamourai]

N'importe quoi

[@PlayshotKalo]

Pregnant women are more likely to be abused and cheated on as well.

[@emi_moonlight]

Thank you so much. I appreciate the clear concise delivery of such important information. I myself suffer from CKD. My brother suffers from debilitating headaches. Dr. Mate is absolutely spot on. I hope we can begin to heal as a society and culture. We are all just walking each other home.

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤ plain water can help alot with headache and migraines ❤❤

[@marijaddraksler3675]

Waw finally the human with a big H. Compassonate, full of understanding and Who face everybody with the reality and the problems in our Society....I love him realy. Finnaly somebody Who realy gets to the core and the roots of the problem!!!! And describes how to deal with it and gives the answers!!! He is the emotion and understandable father which I didn't had❤

[@helenbostock2350]

He leading the way in looking at the reason why we get stressed and how the tribes brought up thier children

[@KeyJM]

This is my favorite Gabor Maté video. Uninterrupted and focused on what he has to say. Well done. ❤

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Thank you. This program took a lot of work, resources, and time. Our team worked hard to create this and we donated our resources so that it could be distributed for free.

[@mscolivares]

My biggest takeaway: We, as adults can find ways to self-regulate if our needs are not met. We can seek help, use mental health skills to help regulate our selves...Infants can't. The infant requires the mature brain of the adult. #Wholehearted-Thank you for sharing.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

This is a BIG one. It's useful for parents and also for adults who seek to reparent themselves. Dr. Amanda Sheffield Morris is one of the leading researchers on the practice of reparenting if you are interested!

[@questioneverything7582]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@willthomas7666]

I can believe it, it’s pretty crazy how powerful your mind is, and how many people are completely unaware of how things actually work, I think we all have conscious or subconscious ability to know what we need to do, but don’t follow it and the same bs information keeps getting passed down to the masses,when in reailty I think the elite benefit off of our inability to flourish as a whole and they teach us the wrong things on purpose, imagine if they taught ppl/ kids real world information and direct info that will apply to your life instead of the useless sht u learn in school we would be so much better off, we would be far more advanced in all areas then we are right now, and almost all of it circles back to the Mind/ consciousness

[@freshdumpling]

Problem is we're adults with infant minds

[@smileylady485]

Yes it is not too late!

[@marthamagee2055]

As ALWAYS, Gabor nails it all across the board. Gabor Maté MD is the most brilliant doctor on the planet and I consider him to be a trauma shaman. I wish everyone would listen to him and read his books for a true and deep understanding of who we are and what we need to do in order to heal our broken disconnected society.

[@AnahitaSadeghian]

I want to virtually hug this human. Very well put perspectives.

[@sharonjoan9997]

Gabor Mate reminds me that I am deep complex spiritual being and I can look to that part of me for meaning and purpose instead of the superficial thoughts I have most of the day. It’s more rewarding to go deep and reveal rather than hide behind monotony, mundane physical world. Thanks for this presentation. It’s greatly appreciated 🙏

[@Dusty_617]

Love this man

[@xtinases]

Takeaways 1) the interconnectedness of our human nature. 2) how alienated the human race became from the importance of infant attachment & the extent of "lies" we tell ourselves to soothe our guilt and shame. 3) the pain that manifests in our life is our greatest teacher & awakener. The healing journey starts when the human being dives deep into the "why?".... and once undertaken, although very tough and painful in itself, deep liberation from years of trauma happens to us & our children. #wholehearted

[@TravellerDM007]

I've been thinking/marveling/wondering/standing silence - from joy to outrage and horror and experiencing along these line for decades. I weep with joy that Gabor Mate has the earned and mysterious privilege and ability to express these GOOD QUESTIONS and better instincts TODAY and NOW and EVER! (I also hope this man works on his posture, no matter his age because I want him to stay alive and well.) Blessings and more blessings to all who 'GET' THIS - and may many come to these GOOD QUESTIONS and back to their embodied heart and instincts - without more horrific unnecessary suffering and deaths) -- and resonating BLESSINGS to this wise, sensitive, articulate man. (Beyond words thanks to you, GM.). Namaste.

[@Glef007]

Thank you Dr Mate. 'Safety is not a lack of threat, it is the presence of connection. ... [ref Australian study] If a woman is stressed and emotionally isolated the risk of a breast lump being cancerous is 9 times greater than average. I would love to know the stats on single mothers, and single mothers who've left abusive relationships in particular. Also, when we know or have a sense of the why , then what? In terms of creating the environment where our kids can heal, when we are so broken and depleted.

[@wendytanaka1290]

This is so correct in that we have followed a distorted power and money hungry reality. ❤It's stressed us out, broken our connections. I'm following a spiritual journey and no longer a human construct. But, that only could happen because I withdrew from the human construct early as I saw death coming. First, of the soul then of the body which was breaking in front of me completely. My spirit has driven a health and joy regardless of the people being stressed and addicted around me. I want to share my spiritual journey. Peace and love to anyone reading this.❤

[@k.silberberg5137]

"Stress is not an individual problem. It is a social problem." Thank you! It is like, everybody knows this. But it is a truth that has to be denied in our system these days.

[@nameless.classics55]

I've only been to Wisconsin North D. S D. Minnesota Indiana. Illinois. Iowa. It's bad. I have been an addict for over half my life and I am 30 years old . I learned of the Holocaust from my 6th grade teacher who had is read " Daniels Story" insijce have researched searched connected and have been outraged livid with how over that many million beautiful humans were treated with such disgust . someone better be asking why. How is the Holocaust and D-Day and war is supposed to be a last resort and we have people from my country fucking going to die for a fight that is over WHAT. When your little boy is ripped from your arms from the VERY people you are supposed to reach to for help and enforcement of our birth rights and the discriminated is disgusting. Our country is literally a in the flesh( but behind the screen) twist of walle dark apocalypse. And yes zombies are everywhere . Just didn't know they would be our neighbors and teachers and officers and counselors and role models. technology is a gift and a platform and opportunity. not something to take the easy way out. Right. Ugh thank you so much Gabar . Bless your soul and angels wherever you and yours go 🌹 thousands maybe more but many refugees seeking asylum in our country their children literally torn from their arms and they throw into cages like fucking animals. This shit is happening every day and WE aareo o s dadaterpeeprreepfor the mi the fallen the departed the tormented the opressed the seperated the abandoned the trapped the innocent the repressed the lost the abducted the tortured the murdered the abused the violated the stigmatizes the bias just fed by the innocent child's cry and not aß ingl àfà aàaaaaaaaaaaaaaà single tear is allowed to fall from her she so she bleeds herself dry and she had to die because the planet has more than enough for " everyman's NEEDS NOT every ma n snre laeenguage communication access equality. Thd ou.

[@mitaniyuki6069]

My GI asked me all those questions, we did an endoscopy and found nothing wrong with me internally. It was all just high and intense stress and anxiety that was destroying me. During that time I was getting triggered as well and seeing myself regress into a child when the events in my life was occurring. It was all just anxiety and stress killing me, making my body throw up food, not have an appetite, choking on every thing I consumed.

[@johnbe]

Biggest takeaway from this amazing #wholehearted piece is that we truly need to reboot all of our systems of knowledge, care, government, and society in general. If we aren't here to love, what else? They say, "money makes the world go 'round", but in reality it has made it go quite flat. We need love-based economies where wealth is measured by the state of well-being in all beings. Thank you Dr. Maté for this generous gift of insight and your humble approach that makes it authentic. Your work is important and deeply appreciated.

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

What a fantastic vision for the world! We're all doing our part by helping support people like Gabor, who have worked so hard to promote love and understanding between people.

[@laorientalm2554]

Very well said!

[@DeMagicalSouls]

Magnificent to see so many gathered to be open to learning to become best versions of themselves. CONNECTION.

[@innaedwards3568]

Genius. Simply genius. ❤❤❤

[@finchgold1]

Thank you. Dear Gabor, for your wonderfully thoughtful and helpful work. Just listening to you is pure therapy. ❤🙏

[@hettykoenraads9207]

Gabor is fantastic in explaining complex processes in a simple way. Hope a lot of people make the shift and start listening to their bodies.

[@helenbostock2350]

❤ great way of looking at our nature

[@totoh82]

the trouble is, that the more connected I am with others, the more stressed I am! People have a tendency to be at odds with one another all the time.

[@donnafoster5215]

When we focus on one cause, it makes it bigger.

[@vandanabharatee7742]

Listening to Dr Gabor always brings so much of clarity..of what goes within me...I feel motivated to know more,and yes his voice is very calming...thanku so much

[@helenbostock2350]

❤ that's an a amazing jump in illness in a very short time

[@HollieRoseBroderickPoirier]

Gabor mate came into my life when I was in a hospital facility with my daughter . To be assessing my suitability as a mother I found Gabor mate in 2021 god bless

[@rpdconsultants]

This man and his teachings may just begin to save the western society.ONLY if we take head and awaken to the truth. Absolutely well done sir.

[@dawndid5972]

Dr. Matè has answered my prayers by his careful understanding of human behavior. I am blessed by his grace and mercy on the many people of the whole wide whirled 👀

[@markrichmond2168]

Tremendous insights. I worked 47 years in medicine and the artificial separation of mind and body is the total norm. The connection is ignored and people suffer.

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@sarella4]

Thank you, Dr. Mate, finally for entering my sad life as it approaches its end. I would get down on my hands and my knees and worship you if I could. I don't believe in God or in anything but dear Heaven and God bless you all of your days on this earth and eternally beyond.

[@laorientalm2554]

Sending you love 💕 You are not alone!

[@cyndypatsche9568]

❤

[@Soundcloud765]

Dr.Mate is such a fantastic doctor,writer, thinker!What a human !

[@nishasankaran]

I’ve been listening to this man and buying his books since 2009. I had both parents and a decent upbringing. I am a hardcore feminist (I have the belief that all women at all ages are just as human and as valuable as men; different doesn’t mean secondary, etc.) and I loved this man and his work since then and love him even more now. He might be a public figure, but his words, his stories, the science, the diligence and care of his work… had/has a massive impact in my life. I’m 45 years old and he is one a few (literally 3) men in my life that has been a positive influence. Understanding that we are all imperfect, I gotta say that Dr Mate as a privileged human (cis male) walking the earth these days…. That’s a huge win for his soul, a testament to who he is as a person/man and a boon for humanity. Thank you Dr. Mate. I’m so happy I exist in a time in which I had access to your work and humanity, as it unfolded.❤

[@WholeheartedPublishing]

Thank you for sharing how Gabor's work has impacted you! We're so happy his ideas are becoming more and more mainstream so more people can have his positive influence in their lives.

[@darpanmajumdar6947]

Pray more men can become more aware and live life with more love and blessings.

[@KarolinaHoly]

It's a huge gift for Hungary, that Dr. Gábor Máté is of Hungarian origin. As I'm also Hungarian, I'm very proud of him. Thanks to Canada for finding a home there.

[@beautyking9376]

My biggest takeaway is that the physical and mental self are inseparable and that's why stress leads to sickness. Especially unresolved childhood trauma, which leads to health problems in adulthood. #wholehearted so glad I discovered this Dr🤗 at a time where I'm experiencing many issues with my health.

[@tmking7483]

I never get sick and was abused as a kid. So I think there is another angle , in addition to the one presented here where childhood trauma causes physical sickness when older _ it does but not for everybody. ( I think it does when your more nuerotypical and had some good enough parenting,) I had psychopaths for parents. What I figure is that I ran out of cortisol because my mast cells (20000 cells above normal when stressed) mopped up the excess cortisol because it was killing my prefrontal cortex when I was an abandoned baby _ mom went crazy from giving birth and abusive family and abusive neighbours. ( Rosemary baby situation,). When I'm stressed I break out in a rash and I need cortisol cream cause I'm all out of cortisol. The baby abuse shut down my cortisol so my brain wouldnt die - my brain knew it needed to stay alive for me to survive.Everybodies body is different when it comes to stress_ our healings from childhood woundings is a individual journey.

[@snails9505]

Every new medical student should be encouraged to watch this

[@RaNiaNameste]

Thank you for sharing such important information. It resonates deeply and becomes clearer to me with every passing day that obstacles are not in the way, they are the way for me to discover more of my authentic self.

[@staceyjustthinking]

So nice to finally know im not crazy and this is what is wrong with the world! Thank you

[@ezgi8256]

I adore Dr. Maté and his teachings

[@codyjohnson7150]

This is one of the best lectures I've ever listened to. We are better parents because of it. Thank you, Dr. Mate.

[@jacquijal-wang7381]

#wholeheartedly A simple explanation of our fundamental needs as human beings. Love conquers all ultimately.

[@mardishores4016]

I disagree, love does NOT conquer all.