What are the Dangers of Emotionally Abusive Relationships? | Dr. David Hawkins

[@myangel42510]

Emotional abusive in the day and wanting to be intimate at night….spot on!

[@Liz-in8lu]

No way they say this? My ex would never call me until 8 PM and ask me to come stay over. We don’t have to have sex, but just sleep over. I said you had all day to hang out with me and plan some thing

[@chautran2588]

Horrible!!!

[@sussannekeith5676]

Yeah no to the intimacy.

[@photokimasl]

True for me until recently when he just stopped loving me period.

[@Angela-ph1ik]

Men are. Ran by their sex drives a lot. Reste doesn't matter.

[@Genevieve88]

Most of us cannot leave due to finances and health insurance. We are stuck! Stuck 29 yrs here with a Covert Narcissist. I’m overwhelmed, sick, and am not the happy optimist I once was.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Yes, it's not easy to just leave for many reasons. But that doesn't mean you can't heal, even if you have to remain in the relationship. Here are some videos we hope can help you start to think about how to heal regardless of your situation: Hope for Victims of Emotional Abuse kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs Break Free of Emotional Abuse and Heal: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs Finding Healing kzbin.info/www/bejne/f2axZqeVoraciqM Spouse Won't Go To Counseling! What Are My Options? kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWG0kHykbtN-gas

[@Genevieve88]

Thank you so much @drdavidhawkins!!

[@PetraFlores-n6u]

18 yrs in

[@michellejobeblsmillhollonf6525]

I want to thank you for the videos also! Definitely trying to find some understanding. Barely holding on. Been totally isolated for the past 10 years. I have lost myself & all those I love. It's a dark place. How did I get here ....

[@judithnewell815]

@@michellejobeblsmillhollonf6525I’m excited how you described yourself. I’m so alone and diminished in a 29 year old marriage 😢

[@sbg4ever120]

I’m looking forward to starting a ministry for women leaving who are financially controlled so they can find a nice, safe place to heal. Middle class women suffer silently by the thousands because we don’t want to end up homeless or in a shelter or in “the system”. I’m praying God opens the doors! 💜🙏

[@bd7628]

This is desperately needed.

[@Genevieve88]

Cannot leave bc of health insurance! 😢

[@bethalexander7850]

Please, can i come?

[@WeCanHearYouNowwithPeggiMerkey]

Great idea! This is so needed.

[@pamelacave5515]

Plz keep me in your files

[@marionhepler-qo1cq]

My abuse was so bad i nearly had a nervous break down. God never intended for us to be abused emotionally or physically. Leaving is the best answer.

[@anacarmelle3496]

Sometimes leaving isn’t enough

[@samco63]

Me too. I had a panic attack when walking with him because I was getting silent treatment again and coldness. He softened a bit when I collapsed but then blamed it on me not eating.

[@julianterris]

There are a huge number of women who have lived their lives in abusive relationships needlessly, and it's wonderful that men like you are ministering to them.

[@ste6826]

Just women?

[@Indy__isnt_it]

​@@ste6826 if you have more info you should add to the conversation. It is both men and women as proven in a Virginia court in the past year. But due to stronger physical abilities and lesser abilities between men and women, women are more in danger than a man. Unfortunately it is a fact.

[@thelmahilton9417]

There are many emotional abusive women also.

[@laureenanderson3122]

help

[@perfectpeace123]

I am glad to see people that stop making excuses for these malignant and grandiose narcissists. Narcissists abuse and chaos ruins society. Narcissists promote lawlessness and lack of self-control. Narcissists don’t want to take accountability for their actions or apologize for how they hurt people through lies and manipulation.

[@Selah1141]

"Enslaved" and "imprisoned" describes how many of us feel.

[@suredid9970]

I remember praying “God make me a better person”. I was trying so hard to please him. Turns out it was never me!! Going on 2years for my exit from that chaos. In the end my prayer was answered, I am a better person WITHOUT HIM😊

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad you are in a place where you can be the person God made you to be.

[@piedramultiaristas8573]

I share Acts 2:38 upci

[@margaritacustodio-garcia2311]

I am co-depent am just starting to realize after 30 years

[@wordwordful]

Some Pastors tell you to stay. Love em and all that. NO, GET OUT.

[@ellaredman7321]

❤

[@denisedevoto5703]

This is the best description of emotional abuse I have ever heard. This is exactly what my 18 year marriage was like.

[@horsefanatic44]

My 18 years of marriage were like this too

[@denisedevoto5703]

​@@horsefanatic44sorry.

[@elainesmith5313]

Dr Clark has nailed it!! I lived it for 45 yrs. Took me 25 yrs. to figure this out. And by that time childten were grown and out of the house. But I was financially tied to him with property and a home. I basically decided to emotionally detach from him. Mainly because his mother had the money to fight me in court. But there is a Silver Lining to this dark cloud. His infidelity ( sexual addiction) finally took his life. He contracted HPV....which caused throat Cancer. And he died in 2022. So I am now free of him and free of his narcissist cult family Selling out and moving on in N.C GOD IS SO GOOD! He had watched over me for a long time. And has directed My path. Thank you!! Your Wisdom is so helpful to us All. Hold on to your faith, He will see you through. Be strong and courageous !!!! Thanl you!!

[@amykatEMS1]

Thank you for this encouraging comment! The timing could not be better.

[@mariehayes8213]

I’m 41 years in and I’m so broken. He would never have gotten away with this without my being a committed Christian. Yet I don’t hate him, I feel Such sorrow for him although he has totally isolated me and broken the family in pieces. I wish him no harm but I really need to be released from this pernicious malady.

[@regiz5358]

@@mariehayes8213 RUN!!!

[@cheryldee95]

I hate to say it, but I’m hoping my ex’s sex addiction catches up to him in the same way. The world will only be a safer place - for women, when these malicious predators are finally gone.

[@braveheart977]

I am so happy for you that you have freedom now. I am financially tied also and stuck. I hope God has a plan for me out of this 30+ marriage to a narc. I do not have the resources to leave. But I think it would feel so free.

[@1newwoman07]

Seeing emotionally mature men talking is so refreshing to me. Why are so many men like the men that they speak of?

[@taterbug5541]

This is my life. Two kids turned against me. Heart breaking. Divorced 9 years, but have lost two kids. Trusting God to turn it around. Thank you for speaking out about this!!!!

[@bethalexander7850]

Me too

[@denicehaley9902]

Unfortunately, me too, with all 3 of my adult daughters. Grievous! Heart wrenching! But, I’m too, awaiting upon God to soften and change their hearts.

[@auzzygirl8175]

Another one here. I didn't choose any better second time around. At least no children involved this time around thank goodness.

[@brentwilliams432]

Me too. My husband is virtually “buying” my two adult children out from under me when I don’t agree with giving children money, paying for everything without making them learn the value of work & money by having to work for anything they want above & beyond their weekly chore allowance.

[@Angela-ph1ik]

In the last days people will be lovers of themselves

[@taraamundson1140]

I lived in this for 20 1/2 yrs and he passed away and I was RELIEVED to say the least. Financially abusive. But very generous to others! I went to many counselors and pastors and begged people to help me! They gently told him but it wasn’t strong enough!! Listening to this makes me cry. Women need help!! Thank you for your help and for your book!!

[@lori6156]

Most abusive men don’t change, even after you leave! I ended up dating the same type. I’ve been divorced for 14 years and STILL working on myself to overcome the emotional abuse of the past AND he turned my only adult child against me. 😢

[@Gatlinwright]

That’s my worst nightmare and one reason why I haven’t seriously thought of leaving because I dated abusive before I married and if I leave I never want this type out of my life forever!

[@janetlieb2507]

As women, we were worshipped. The Goddess.❤

[@AllThingsMoneyandTech]

Agreed, I was in an abusive marriage and I felt relief the first night I was on my own.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad you are in a better place now and wish you the best in your healing.

[@iowamom454]

i want that relief

[@sharonhall3997]

Everything said is 100% correct. I married a covert narcissist and my father was an overt narcissist. I was devastated bc I felt I should have known the signs but they are different. The one common thing was the emotional abuse. My soon to be ex seemed almost perfect until we married and we started to live together. He was a totally different person. I went to therapy bc I couldn’t understand what happened. Due to the stress, gaslighting, flying monkeys, manipulation etc… I had a heart attack and extreme anxiety. One day I looked at my night stand and it was full of pills. The heart attack I survived, woke me up. And as soon as my health improved enough for me to see a lawyer, I did just that. it’s been almost 6 months since I moved out and hopefully the divorce will be final next week. I was only married to him for five years, but I can tell you it definitely impacts your emotional and physical well being. Now, I am stress-free, my nightstand is clear of the medication and I feel even better than I did before I met him. Glory to God!!!

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Thanks for sharing your story of healing and freedom

[@christineliljeholm633]

That's what seems so confusing to me can a person divorce because of abuse according to scripture ?

[@perfectpeace123]

The phrase “ I am sorry.” is never in a narcissist’s vocabulary.

[@katemoore9148]

NEVER

[@suzanar.6847]

It is, but it’s just empty words, no meaning. My personal experience. A harrowing experience

[@christinejames5631]

I agree with suzanar, they will apologise but if you don't accept it, or lean toward "yeah we shall see" after many apologies yet no change in behaviour. They see that and feel it and boy you will be punished for not accepting thier fake apologies because that is what they are fake. Apology with no changed behaviour is no apology from the start.

[@sandycares2995]

Less it benefits him

[@vintagedressromance]

You’re not kidding

[@lindahoffy]

Thirty six years of this for me. Now, he is abusing me with the court system. Thank you David and David for helping me and women like me. The church is against me, and telling me to go home. Thank you for truly caring!!!

[@sciencecreator19]

How do I help my daughter get a career so she can have the confidence to leave her husband. He threatens her that since he has his own business, he can hide his money and threatens her with her three kids he'll pay what he wants. She has no motivation to execute getting her career. She has illnesses and has done everything to save her marriage out of fear being in the system,and her kids will pay also being in the system, and all the fears a woman goes thru.He has never let her know any decisions are what he makes are what he has and most of all he let's her have a charge but no money to have on her He's also is sneaky and has the church thinks she is crazy. He knows her biggest fear is not being able to support herself and kids.Also afraid her kids would be damaged by her leaving.

[@tbacon2784]

​@@sciencecreator19Her kids are being damaged by staying in the relationship. When she leaves she needs to get them into therapy immediately... The question is...will he let her hold a job? Or will he find a way to take over her income for himself as my husband has.I am trying to make my escape now that I understand things, but it is hard without money. I did it once and worked my way out of the "system and married a "nice caring g pastor" Yeah, till we were married. Didn't understand things in time to prevent this happening g. I understand now, but 1 of my 2 friends I had left has given up on me. She needs to leave now, forget worrying about the system, go for it and work with them to get trying and a job...Wishing you, her, and her kids the best of luck. God will work miracles even today if you keep your eyes and mind open. I see them everyday. Will jump when the miracle comes my way. Just went behind hubbys back and changed my money back to my name. A couple of checks u nder my belt and I will be gone. Keep working on her. Being in the system does not have to be permanent...

[@juliemurray8476]

As a former pastors wife. You described my ex-husband to a “T“. The emotional abuse started right after we were married. On our honeymoon actually and lasted even after our 19 years of marriage. It was very hard to muster up the courage to leave him. I look back now 10 years later and I still can’t believe I did but oh how I’ve grown as a mom, woman and child of God! Giving examples of his verbal abuse would cause embarrassment and shame because not only was he to be my best friend and lover but also my Pastor and spiritual leader.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad to hear you are thriving now. God Bless

[@victoriaogunsanya9074]

😢😢😢😢

[@susanmcmahon4733]

Know EXACTLY what your talking about, it's HOFFIFIC HOFFIFIC what they put us through.

[@rascallyrabbit]

good for you. the church is largely a snake pit of lies and abuse. women need to learn to tell these a holes to f off. Jesus is the only friend who is trustworthy.

[@oberonmatheny7147]

Yes, the same scenario - Pastor!

[@mariad3431]

It is very difficult for a woman who has been so broken down to flee this insidious situation...with some of us we are left so broken that we can barely function, much less support ourselves. A divorce costs thousands of dollars. Renting an apartment also costs thousands of dollars. We are trapped in this living hell, with no way out. We are left with extreme trama, PTSD, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION. Health care had been limited with poor mental care. I wish there were a shelters or somewhere a woman could escape to. When I was going thru all of this..there was nothing available. I along with many other women have literally seen HELL

[@janetlieb2507]

Yes. And we're blamed for staying. Sheer he'll. These men waste and destroy .

[@janetlieb2507]

The mental care system is horrible.. I. Was molested by a case manager and a. Doctor. I tried to get help from A so called counselor when I feared for my life. She dismissed my fear. Shortly afterwards, I was attacked and have a permanent Injury.

[@Terryd218]

This was what I desperately needed to hear as I am experiencing what you've described. i went to my pastors who i trusted. I was scared and looking for protection. They said exactly the things you said they say, "Abuse is a serious accusation to make. he's a good guy. We need to get you two into couples counseling, Etc. " I felt so betrayed. I left my husband. I am basically 1 step away from homeless, sleeping on someone's couch and I'm 70 yrs old. My husband on the other hand is saying I'm unstable and he was only trying to take care of me. AND HES GOING TO A 29 WEEK HEALING JOURNEY to heal from me leaving him. He is following the Christian protocol in the eyes of my church. And I feel like Lucifer, thrown out of heaven.

[@Terryd218]

Also how do you find a good church that does understand?

[@mariad3431]

Exactly what happened to me. To the letter. Nowhere to flee. Ive always said , when I die i will surely go to heaven as I have lived in hell for a very long time. Only those who have been thru this knows.

[@EricaKindelberger-he1sg]

To have two Christian men speak so strongly on a topic that resonates with so many women who feel so weak and powerless in these situations is very empowering. I pray for the relief you speak of. Thank you so much.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Thank you for your encouragement and glad you found value in it.

[@piedramultiaristas8573]

Men too

[@lorrainenicoletti6232]

And it happened to my Dad , my Father. My Evil Malignant mother his wife BROKE HIM IN THE END . in his 80’s he wouldn’t try anymore She “killed” him. I’m the daughter who she Broke. No none never Love. So shocking when you discover LOVE never drove her actions!!!!! Seriously shocked when I finally realized this thing NEVER LOVED. It is a no one in a human body . Alien. Decades to realize!!!!!!!! It happens with evil women too

[@susankovach8927]

"Pray for your enemies." You don't know what she went through to become what she became.

[@MaryEavey-dc3sk]

I am praying at a separate address............He bankrupted our family. and if I had not left he would have bankrupted me at age 60. I talk to him on occasion, but i am OUT. He did go through a lot. Red flags a'waving . But he did not take responsibility to get better, ever. He did not play by conventional rules.@@susankovach8927

[@busalanosavan7599]

For 20 years I knew something wasn't right but couldn't pin point why I keep leaving and coming back. So many friends and family don't understand...I have lost my sense of identify of who I am. Thank you for the jewels of information.

[@Katbeltifi-lifemotivation]

I m in the same boat as you for 18!years

[@katemoore9148]

Yes… it sucks… I wish I didn’t get it. But you are not alone.

[@vidarignault4437]

I am 82 years old and married a Covert Narcissist when I was just 19. We had 4 beautiful children and he died of Diabetic complications almost 4 years ago. Looking back, there were subtle signs which I did not recognize out of ignorance since the time we started dating, but he was handsome and courted me so cleverly, that I didn’t have a clue what I was getting into until years later!! Indeed, I had never even heard the word “narcissist” until the 1980’s, far less knew what it meant!! But I was disappointed in my marriage from the very beginning. There was never any togetherness, nor did I ever feel that I had a life partner. The narcissistic behavior began so subtly, that I missed it completely, until one day his health insurance bill arrived while he was out of town on a business trip, together with a flier about narcissism, and all of a sudden I realized that this was what I had been dealing with for years!! However, I knew full well, even at that early stage, that confronting him would be the worst thing to do, so I kept silent and watchful, but had no idea how, or where to get help. We did discuss divorce at one stage, but he told me I was being selfish, as the finances would then have had to have been divided in half. At that time, our only son was still quite young and at home, and I stupidly thought that a boy needed a Father, no matter what. What I did not realize was that narcissists only get worse with age, and so my son, being the youngest, really saw the worst of his Father’s narcissistic rages and shouting matches, many of which were directed at him!! The result was that he came down with a very serious mental illness at age 24, which is incurable, and has to be on medicine for the rest of his life!! In time, there were signs of my husband getting physically abusive. So much so that I had to call 911 at 2 o’clock in the morning once, because I felt so threatened. After that he was more careful, as he was told that 2 more calls of that nature and the City would file charges against him!! About ten or more years later, after he was given 6 months to live by his Drs., it was our son who drove him to dialysis 3 times a week until he passed away!! And, I am proud to say, he Is now doing much better for not having to cope with his abusive Father. As for me, I am so much happier now that I am by myself, and felt only relief when he died, as the only way I managed to survive those last few years of his life was to withdraw emotionally and physically as much as possible to save my own sanity!! I did look after his medical needs, but was just not there for him emotionally. I have also come to the realization that my own Mother was largely narcissistic as well, so a lot of the behaviors that I put up with in the early years of my marriage did not seem so unusual to me!! I am an only child and once I took my Mother into my home for the last few years of her life, so many things suddenly became clear!! My only regret in life is that I stayed as long as I did, because all I ever wanted in life was to have an affectionate partner who would love me for who I am!!

[@jenniferrobs3980]

They just reel you right back in like a fish on a hook...

[@RexRaven22]

“trauma bond”

[@marihunt4314]

I was with a Covert Narcissist on and off for 4 years. Everything you talked about really resonates with me. I recently walked away from the relationship. I couldn’t take the subtle jabs, the talking down to, the invalidation, the mind games, the list goes on and on and on. He displayed every trait that a Covert Narcissist could have! I kid you not! You mentioned that when a woman leaves an abusive relationship, she has a feeling of relief. I definitely feel that. Not to mention the feeling of having my freedom back!!!

[@rondajordan1981]

This is exactly what I'm going through right now.

[@freerangeboogie7293]

Amen, Sister ❤😅

[@sula1529]

I felt very scared , very afraid , was stalked and still went through mind games and mental torture but i kept striving to get better and my health completely cleared up it took longer to build my self belief and self esteem to realise I was better than that mess. God help his new gf but I want nothing to do with him or anyone around him, his flying monkeys.. My children deserve better and now I m with a wonderful man that does nothing but support and care for me.. he says its normal but for me it's amazing.. I m.glad that I didn't end my life which I was so close to..

[@LLFAMILY23]

Amen

[@Angela-ph1ik]

But how do covertds feel when they finally walk away

[@beverlykingrey1698]

Sounds like you are talking about my life. I’ve been married for 41 years and I have been brought up to stay in the marriage and work it out. I feel like I’m losing my mind but I am working on myself to get the courage and strength to get out. So thank you both so much for this podcast. You are helping me get to where I need to be ❤ to leave this all behind.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Keep seeking guidance and truth. Truth will lead to clarity which will lead to courage to do what is needed. In the meantime, we have many videos on healing that we hope will help: Hope for Victims of Emotional Abuse kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs Break Free of Emotional Abuse and Heal: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs Spouse Won't Go To Counseling! What Are My Options? kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWG0kHykbtN-gas Finding Healing kzbin.info/www/bejne/f2axZqeVoraciqM

[@jcc6789]

Get out, don’t waste another day of your life. Living in any abuse is not ok

[@MegaRose1958]

You will feel a sense of relief, a peace of mind and freedom when you get out. Plan and don't tell him you are leaving.

[@vfree4579]

My mother is 84 years old who stayed with a malignant narcissistic man. SHE has had 2 strokes, heart attack AND A EMPTY SHELL OF HER FORMER SELF. GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HEALTH. Start small began cleaning and getting rid of baggage...🙏 .. DO NOT TELL HIM.

[@karenkoenig5518]

Me too, 35yrs of abuse, God does not want us crying and abused. God does not want us terrified and hurting to keep us in a sick marriage

[@beverlyorlando8040]

You're spot on Dr Clark! I struggled with many health issues over the course of my 33 year marriage, including autoimmune, arrhythmias, and migraine headaches. After leaving my covert narcissist 2 years ago, my health has improved greatly! I'm off ALL autoimmune medications, have had only one afib episode, heart palpations are now rare, as are migraine headaches. I've also put my energy into self care instead of existing to meet only his needs! With that, I have the energy to eat better and exercise. I have recently lost 25 lbs as a result. I'm on a healing journey now. I've finally developed healthy boundaries and I'm not jeopardizing my newfound peace for anyone or anything anymore, for the first time in my life.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

So glad to hear you are prioritizing yourself! Thanks for sharing your story of healing.

[@alicesnyder5394]

Praise the Lord! Keep on the road of recovery

[@christinaeager4418]

Good for you! 🎉 Alcoholism spoiled my marriages. My first husband was a Narcissist too and one day he left me for a woman he didn't even stay together with for long. Then he wanted his position back with me and I said no way. I know what marital neglect is as well.

[@robotscrewdriver]

You’re focusing on women but as a man this is EXACTLY what my marriage was like. Thank God I went to therapy and learned what covert narcissism was. I was made to feel like I was crazy, couldn’t do anything right or enough, I got crumbs from time to time just to keep me thinking it would some day get better and only got worse. My health started going down exactly as you said, now going through the divorce, my health bounced back almost immediately along with my emotional state.

[@tamiajackson]

Good for you brother in Christ.. Stay away from her at least for a few months completely

[@jeffreymurray4855]

I thought I was going crazy all those years of marriage (33years) holding out “hope against hope” and yet the gaslighting, triangulation and current discard that is taking place (because I have stated that this marriage is emotionally abusive and am filing for divorce) is proof that my body physically feels sick when thinking about “sticking it out” as outside people are saying is proof that this is toxic abuse…can’t do it

[@MoonPhaze5]

The thing about your health is amazing. I go from winter to winter wondering if this is the year the Lord will allow me to pass, to be free from my situation, because I'm so sickly, but it's not what I truly want. I just feel I'm stuck and there's no way out for me. The world is vicious and very scary, and always has been for me.

[@smustipher]

The sad thing is that the narcissist hides their evil until AFTER the marriage, and the children are in the picture, making it difficult for the victimized spouse to leave. Like their father, Satan, they come in looking like they are all about and for you, then once they think they "got you', here comes the blows below the belt. Ugh.

[@doreendjamoe6922]

Exactly! I hate to say but that’s my situation right now! I’ve learnt to be healthy for me.

[@kathyadair8552]

Yeah, before the knee to the solar plexus and knives to the back, just for a warm-up

[@denicehaley9902]

@@doreendjamoe6922, please share for those of us stuck in hell with the narc how you were able to get healthy.

[@shirleyguinyard8183]

😢

[@smustipher]

@denicehaley9902 I grew up in this environment, and in my.mid 40s just waking up after a few years of no contact with the abusive parent.

[@rebeccaahmed4688]

What you said at 23:56 and forward was like a punch in the stomach. That’s exactly what happened to me so many times to where I just shut down and stayed to myself. Now I’m in a spot of being bashed for being “a liar and not telling him things”. This right here is so painful.

[@trinarenae8625]

Thank you both for speaking out. I honestly had no idea about what I was dealing with. Although I knew something wasn’t right, I could never quite put my finger on it. Narcissism is like a snake in the grass. Just about the time you think you’ve identified what it is, it slithers away. There are so many mind games involved and I was constantly brainwashed by my church to believe that “love believes the best when the worst is displayed”. I thank God He delivered me out of Egypt when my husband chose to discard me 5 years ago. 🙌🏼

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad to hear you are living in freedom from the crazy making and the abuse. God bless.

[@Ann-pn9or]

take me in, tender woman, take me in for heaven's sake, take me in, tender woman, cried the snake.

[@Angela-ph1ik]

What d.o. Discarded do. Be lonely forever. If we exspell all narasist than empathy Are alone

[@roxybuell9898]

​@@Ann-pn9or😥

[@karenkoenig5518]

My husband always used the God card during his abuse to me , God hates divorce, woman submit to your husband, I did. The nicer and more I gave, it got worse. I finally realize he's sick, but it still hurts cuz it's always someone else's fault. These are sick people we fell in love with. It's not OUR FAULT

[@faithtoken5010]

God took me through a lesson in Narcissistic behavior after my husband left me once I was diagnosed with Heart disease ~ God has showed me He (God) is my Husband. ~ once I learned that my husband was a narcissist, it healed me. I finally understood why my husband acted the way he did all those years. Pastors sadly do much more harm to women in these relationships than good. They tell us we need to basically be door mats and that our husbands salvation is our responsibility. . . my 3 children grew up in a very dysfunctional environment due mostly to advice and belittling from pastors. Thank you! Thank you for bringing Truth into the forefront of this subject. God bless and keep you both. It's beyond a nightmare to live in this oppression. God be with the women and children caught in this web of deceit ~ may He set us all free!

[@horsefanatic44]

Amen

[@GracieDontPlayDat]

Because Masonry has infiltrated the churches. In the occult, Mary isn’t the mother of God, the occultist is God, and Mary is the woman he uses to ground him in reality. So in a sense, Masonic preachers WOULD preach that you save your husband instead of Christ. Dark times! Men who know better MUST stand up against this…

[@faithstrong410]

This type of abuse can be so painful.

[@nikki1611]

I love Dr. Clark. I got rid of my “dirt ball” over 15 years ago. Freedom and Liberty are WONDERFUL!

[@ElsieDee001]

Even though my children and I made our escape 30+ years ago, I still consider myself in healing mode. Thank you for this podcast!

[@dominiquerivero6611]

It can take a long time, I know

[@wendyhannan2454]

I get that totally, sadly It stays with you. I hope we heal and put it all behind us. My kids have,so I’m happy for that.

[@ElsieDee001]

@@wendyhannan2454 I thought I was healed until a work environment triggered old wounds that brought out CPTSD. Then my daughter became a flying monkey for her dad and stopped contact totally. Life goes on.

[@mosim9691]

He is not lying! My dad was an ordained Baptist minister, mean as spit - emotionally, verbally & physically abusive! He died from COVID. When I told my codependent mother her husband was an abuser, she told me not to talk about my father like that. So glad I came across this channel.

[@Armygirl4Christ]

Even after divorce, he turns the children/teens against their mother with parental alienation. Our family is going through this right now. It’s like a horrible death and the courts do absolutely nothing. The toxic poison of these abusers knows no bounds.

[@laurieclark2456]

Lost my handsome talented son to two abusers five mo ago. The father and his narc girl friend. Suicide. 24

[@ingerlokke6807]

Yes they do

[@robertreid9087]

​@paulinsky53h🎉4]

[@johnwatsonjr3695]

​@@laurieclark2456i9m

[@carolyngreen5458]

@@laurieclark2456oh so sorry for your heartbreaking loss…my deepest condolences 💗

[@boadyrose]

To me this is ground breaking, 2 men let alone of the church speaking so passionately about something so many women suffer in silence until they cannot any more. Thank you 🙏

[@leilagomulka5690]

Dr. Clark, Dr. Hawkins- you rock and roll. Thank you for being a voice to those of us who have been silenced by false shame.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

So glad you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback.

[@Katarina4567]

AMEN ! ❤

[@hj8501]

❤❤The i crease if church women by these narc..the church is the resource field...they are predators. Thanks for the information and patterns... ❤❤

[@hj8501]

Correction: the increase of church women being attacked and con by the narc is due to the church is the predators resource...field!

[@WeCanHearYouNowwithPeggiMerkey]

He attempts to turn it all back on you, but as wise women, we can learn how to allow it all to turn back on him. God gives you wisdom. This happens every day to me, but I’m the happiest person of all of the people I know. His silence has taught me how to press in to God and achieve joy, peace, extreme happiness and so much contentment, but only from spending a lot of the time that I would have spent with him but I spent it with God. It backfired on him. In His presence is fullness of joy!

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Yes, God gives wisdom to those who ask. Thanks for sharing

[@GracieDontPlayDat]

“Those who dig a pit for others fall into it themselves”

[@LoisPasinella]

Dr. Hawkins and Dr. Clark, thank you for being champions for women! Thank you for putting clarity on scriptures that place responsibility on the man to be the lover and protector of his wife. I wish we had more men like you! I can’t speak for everyone here, but I personally would like to hear more discussions between the two of you on this topic. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who turns everything on you, never takes responsibility, turns the children against you, and leaves you feeling completely crazy. Thank you for what you’re doing!

[@drdavidbhawkins]

You're very welcome and thanks for your feedback!

[@piedramultiaristas8573]

@@drdavidbhawkins please do not forget men suffer too

[@JamieLynetteCoaching]

I have never heard a man depict emotional abuse in marriage in the church as well described, intensely accurate and profoundly explained as this. Y'all are pioneers. Keep bringing awareness and rescuing women! Dr. Clarke, I found you on KZbin some time ago right when I needed to hear your message. God bless you both.

[@ChildoftheLIGHT]

Thank you both for speaking truth. Keep steppin on toes! People truly need to wake up to this epidemic.

[@alicialavea-qt2en]

32?years later. I stayed in this toxic relationship way too long and not understand egged everybody told me for years to leave. He doesn’t have the capacity to live like u loved him and he’s totally double standard she made ugly out of me. I’ve get imprisoned. Note my only way out is to seek out house and split the equity. How do i get tu that point and how do i tell him just herir the house goes in the market. Our house had to pay my way out. Divorced 7 years after the final time o was done of his cheating finding out he never divorced his previous wife and now i wouldn’t be entitled negarse I’m going to remarry. But up until the sale of the house payment, I’m afraid he’s going to stop his direct deposit and cut me off too soon. I don’t have the finances to put my stuff into storage. Yup, the ride home from carpooling all hell breaks loose in the car about me not working enough.

[@alicialavea-qt2en]

???How does a wife live without finances??? Hour do we find a way out.

[@wendyhannan2454]

That was excellent, two men talking about abusive men. I’m sure their helping many women. Stay strong ladies hopefully there is away out for all of you.

[@wendyhannan2454]

@@alicialavea-qt2enI’m sorry, it’s hard and often the case. Maybe family could help you. My family wasn’t there for me, they thought he was great. I hope you get the help you deserve, to rid yourself from the trauma and abuse. 🙏

[@lisasimon5498]

I would love for the conversation to include men who are abused by their wives.

[@ursalaoutrageous9249]

Oh my goodness, when a psychologist told me I was abused, I laughed and denied it. I had no fear whatsoever of my husband. He had never physically threatened or hurt me. I was married for thirty years and finally I divorced him because he was having a long-term affair and I finally had a scriptural reason to leave the marriage. (In my church adultery was the only excuse for divorce.) In retrospect I see so much. He could not be pleased no matter how I tried. Criticisms and put-downs were constant. I was a joke. He never wanted to have a conversation, so I stayed quiet except when something had to be communicated and only for practical reasons. He even to.d me to be quiet at social functions because “no one would want to hear anything you would have to say.” Once my daughter had the ‘audacity’ to ask him why he never helped around the house and he said he never does women’s or n-- work. Nice guy, huh? I have truly enjoyed living alone the last twenty years.

[@deborahcollins1100]

Thank you so very much gentlemen for this podcast on the devastation of emotional abuse. I have unfortunately experienced this in my over 38 yrs of marriage to a narcissistic husband who I am still living with at 74 yrs old but trying to somehow become emotionally healthy even though he can be bombarding me daily with his insults and rages but then of course he will turn into Mr Nice for a day or two. But I always know his evil self with be returning. And he is definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing , a deacon in our church and mostly Mr Charming there too. Actually though even when there is not any physical abuse you know the threat is always there that he could get very physically abusive with me and at times his sick threats at times toward me a few times I definitely know that he is capable of damage to me outward even though destroying me inside 😢. Thank you for validating my feelings. 💔

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Kudos to you for striving to be your best self despite the horrible circumstances you are living in. Strength, courage and peace be with you. Here are some videos you may find helpful in your journey for healing: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWG0kHykbtN-gas

[@jp5419]

Dr. Ramani can help you on her KZbin channel. Also Prof. Sam Vaknin. Accept he's a loser and start healing you.

[@braveheart977]

Deborah I can relate. What phonies they can be to the outside.

[@LarryA-w4j]

I am so glad that you got out of the abuse Satan send people in our life to try and destroy us but God say not so physical abuse is just like mental abuse I been through both the abuser is angry with themselves they will try to make like we are the bad guys we are not responsible for their bad behavior we must love our self and not become a victim by staying in the abuse sign Cynthia Smith Jesus Christ in my life is healing from the hurts I chose to forgive the abuser but they will never be in my life again

[@IamKateIsabella]

Deborah thank you for sharing.

[@ellenjordan7525]

Thank you, Thank you! I can't believe that two men actually validate what I have been through. You are saving our families and our society. I am 74 and still healing from my marital abuse!

[@KC-ns9do]

Thank you so much for this video. I was married to a grown boy who behaved like this and thankfully got out of that marriage. That was 20 years ago. I know so many people who are dealing with this abuse and choose to stay in those relationships. I've dated a few people since my divorce and I seem to attract these types of abusers. I've decided to remain a single woman and I'm loving my peace and freedom. I have a 23 year old son (he was 2 when I left his dad, my ex-h) and he's told me numerous times that he's glad I left his dad. He knows something is seriously off about his dad.

[@nikkikruz8458]

ThIS WHOLE video was MY LIFE. He packed his things and left me yesterday and then had the audacity to text me and tell me he left. I got home to an empty closet. I was so relieved. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

[@loveeaother3180]

Here I am still in it after 40 yrs And your right about all the health problems Dead on and the panic attacks too! I feel like a bird who is in a cage The door is open but too afraid to fly out ! Mental Emotional and physical at times But the world thinks he is such a gem Such a nice guy The world gets the best of him I get the worse I feel like a fool but here I am

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Leaving the relationship does not necessarily equate to healing. And you can heal even if you choose to stay. You can pursue healing either way. Here are some videos you may find helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2q7nISrfbF4gLs kzbin.info/www/bejne/f2axZqeVoraciqM

[@shellymillett1649]

This is so powerful this is so needed in churches, but as you said people have been so brainwashed and conditioned to think that abuse is normal, not even acknowledged half of the time but it is there. A bad testimony for our Lord and Savior. Thanks for being brave enough to brace the topic.

[@letamorgan6819]

Many women can't get away because of individual poverty and the system is against the one with less resources. When kids are involved it is an enormous problem it's many times hard to get away. I speak from personal experience and loss...

[@drdavidbhawkins]

You are absolutely right, it's not so easy to just leave for many reasons. And a lot of women we work with are in that situation.

[@dampergoldenrod4156]

Some women are stupid enough and sick in the head enough to think that having another baby with men like this will make the marriage better.

[@DeeCee1878]

Life with a narcissist is beyond anything you can imagine. It is a cancer of the soul and death by a thousand cuts. I am not a person of faith and am afraid I will never recover. This interview described it so well. At 62 I have now been abandoned after 20 years, and I am lost in ways I could never have imagined

[@beesknees5441]

It really is... I understand completely ❤️‍🩹 One of the things I learned via other channels on KZbin, was about the Introjects; (instructions abusers leave in our heads...) these narcissisticly continue the abuse from inside... There's a vid by Sam Vaknin & Richard Grannon explaining how to eradicate these & re-establish your own true self 💖 As so much of ourselves is peeled away during the abuse, it can take a minute to get back to your true baseline again ❤️‍🩹 Be patient, loving & kind to yourself during recovery & beyond ✨ Prayer & scripture helped me immensely too 🙏🧡 As did creativity, walks in nature, animals & Journalling to remember myself again 💫 Wishing you a blessed & successful recovery journey ✝️ you can do it 🧡🙏

[@paulinebott8922]

I've put up with this for 45years.just left my abuseer 2weeks ago I have lost all my family. Nothing less than everything. My home my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.and I'm the bad one. But I'm a lot happier without my husband

[@ZophiaSzczepaniak]

❤

[@iw9338]

I hear you and hurt with you. My siblings sided with him when I left, also my grown sons. Praying for you 🙏

[@SundayGarfield]

Starting at about 18:00, this fits the description of how my ex treated me. And at about 48:30, this reminds me of the time when my ex tried to convince me not to go to therapy after I told him I started to develop trauma symptoms, was struggling a lot with nightmares and that I needed help after finding out about his cheating for the second time. He told me, "You don't need therapy. You are not crazy." When I insisted on needing it, he was clearly upset. Previously, he had told me he didn't want my therapist to think he was a POS. He refused couples therapy for this reason. Listening to these gentlemen makes me feel heard and validated while I still struggle to accept that this relationship was unhealthy and that I had done everything in my power to work it out. He didn't want to change. He didn't want to learn and grow. I know I did make my best effort and there was nothing I could have done to save it after his habitual cheating and lying. I still doubt myself. I hope I can find peace someday and heal.

[@darlenerego4891]

We got married in 1955. I usually thought he was just like his dad. About two years ago I became aware that he has a problem with narcissism.

[@fridachanel8234]

Opens up my eyes to understand there is no way anything I do will help my husband stop being abusive and be a better husband and father. He will always blame me ubtil he realizes he is at fault and needs to confront his traumas. This codependency is enslaving, but am grateful I can get better. Praise God for leading the kids and me out of the home and away from him. May God help all of us get better. Thank you for this amazing video!

[@gemcove5783]

U R describing my soon to b ex-husband of 23 yrs. U couldn’t tell him anything…he was always right! Even when he knew he was dead wrong. He got more abusive as he aged. I would rather b alone than with another Narc again.

[@beverlyorlando8040]

You got that right!

[@tracyhill4405]

Remain single and heal. If you dont. You will attract another narc. You need to rest and heal. Also, you lost your identity. You got to find it with Christ's help. Jesus Christ is Lord.

[@annelliott6653]

I'm going through this this very minute and I have nowhere to go.have had this for 40 year's.its always my fault and I'm just like my mother and I have been estranged from my family for year's.i have noone.im in complete sadness and I have always walked on egg shells.i never get to explain anything he always talks before I get to finish thinking I've said something else.im so broken 💔😢. noone can help me.🙏

[@leighwalton8190]

​@@annelliott6653 I'm so sorry Anne. Talk to the samaritans or a police officer. Find a refuge. God bless.

[@sharonthibault5752]

I left 2 years ago after 9 years of a covert Narcissist husband and now I met a wonderful man that shows me how I should have always been treated. But I still have trigger words that are not meant the same as my ex said them to me, but those triggered words makes me upset and still but creates me to act dum. But each day i get a little better. Thank God

[@xeniakern7607]

I have never felt understood like this before. I am the scapegoat, by everyone in his family, even my daughter, who has teamed up with one

[@1111emmy]

Can relate sadly 🌹💕🌹

[@tammyhilton1897]

Dr. You have opened my eyes. I have been in several of these relationships.for years.the last one recently for 12 years. I totally have giving up on relationships. I'm done. I have lung cancer and do not have time for this crap any longer. My life is ruined. From now on I love me with what time I have left.

[@luminitablack6790]

All this is so true, I have a husband exactly how you described and after 28 years I just left. Thank you for making this very important subject about emotional abuse known.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

You're welcome and thank you for your comment. We hope it helps you and others.

[@maiairina7030]

When i finaly left , after 21 years of being emotional abused , I didnt feel any relief . Nope, is not like carying a rock on your back and you decide to throw it down , not even into the rock example, initially you wont feel relief. You will feel FEAR, pain, exhaustion, , confusion,devastation , depression, anxiety , guilt, shame, grief,disperation, angst, dissociation , dispair, rage, , a storm of negative emotions . Its feel like the withdrawal of a drug . When you quit drinking or taking addictive substances , there is no relief there, at least to the beggining there is no relief. Its an emotional chaos that you have to detangle and put in order, lots of work to do until feeling relief . Have to be bad then to be good.

[@Missy-Leigh]

This.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Wow Dr Clarke doesn’t mince words….. refreshing! Dr Hawkins thank you two so much!

[@veronawebb9500]

Dr. Hawkins it’s almost like you’ve been listening to the conversations I’ve had with my husband. You nailed it!! Thank you!!!!

[@drdavidbhawkins]

So glad you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback

[@stephm5877]

I just can't thank you bold men enough for standing for the oppressed. We need more men like you. Thank you! 💛

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Thanks for your feedback and hope it was helpful.

[@Greenwings701]

Dr. Clark is totally right about how abusers enjoy watching the response. It's consistent with sadism - they get joy from others' suffering.

[@brya8492]

All I can say is I LOVE these two men! Thanks for standing up for believing women and men who are often suffering in silence until they encounter sometime who gets it, like the two Drs. David👊👊👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@elizabethalexander6528]

Thanks for the info. I was in an abusive marriage I was asking the pastor to contact me weekly at church. I was never contacted and I don't blame the church but I relapsed on alcohol and one day years later they knocked on my door and I was not in a good mood and told them they were too late. I survived but the state of Wisconsin ignored my 911 calls . The police officer who responded was a abuser. It is a sprawl people and I stood up to it but its really hard. People do not want to accept reality. I push the ball up the hill every day and am in a great place in my life. I thank God every day for my life. My abuser haunts me only as far as he abused my children and they are boys so I am always on red alert for them as far as my granddaughters but they are aware of truth and so life turns out but it is work. Real hard work emotionally but well worth it.

[@pamelastevens1209]

My story is much like many others posts. 44 years of off and on emotional abuse, stayed because of the children and it was not constant when we were younger. Now I have a disabled 76 year old husband but he is 100% dependent on me to maintain the household because i pay ALL the bills, except internet and cable TV (things important to him).His income is paying massive debt that i had nothing to do with. You are so right, my adult children would not have anything to do with me if i left. He is somewhat nicer because he knows how much control i now have. But that doesn't stop other things he still attempts to control and I can tell he has to have some restraint because he knows i won't tolerate things like i always have. Thanks for addressing these issues that a lot of people don't know about.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad you found it helpful, thanks for your comment.

[@rainellefluck5973]

This segment is spot on. Plz. Remember Anyone OUT There , Being Alone is NOT Lonely, YOU WILL FIND PEACE. Thank you for this video.GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

[@vell5052]

This was absolutely amazing and very accurate!

[@TanyaBrockmeyer]

Dr. Clarke thank you for holding the line on abuse. You explain it in a way that anyone could understand!!!

[@oberonmatheny7147]

Nothing ever resolved. Story of my relationship....

[@marymccann6110]

Just found your videos! It is MEN like you who are insightful and empathetic who go a looooong way in the healing of the hearts of women who have suffered years and years of emotional abuse. To know that survivors have the encouragement and support of men like you is such a gift from God. God bless you for your work.

[@susanmcmahon4733]

Had 28yrs of it very ABUSIVE and you don't really realise how BAD IT WAS until your out, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS, my doctor was OUTSTANDING when my marriage eventually broke down and could see his personality (he used to be his doctor too) it was GP that spoke to me and ADVISED me to stay out and get good legal advice and that was EXACTLY what I did, my ex was eventually caught out with one of his MANY WOMEN, he had affairs after affairs now don't have to put up with this ANYMORE and divorced now, sorry I spent sooo many yesrs in the marriage but didn't know anything about NPD, now so educated on the disorder that I feel could write a book on it.

[@Anonymous-wy5tk]

I have no idea how to leave. I don’t have enough money to live on my own. I’ve looked at a few places already but we have a home with a small amount left on the mortgage. I am dealing with profound sadness. I gave up my education, my life and after we married, moved away from my parents, sisters and friends. I feel like a complete fool. The greatest and deepest wound is realizing that I allowed my children to live in a home where they were afraid, confused and had to stifle their emotions and put on a good show. I also bear the brunt of the anger towards me for my weakness and co dependency. I can’t go into all the details. It’s tragic. They are almost all in therapy of some kind to deal BCt he e trauma so

[@denicehaley9902]

@@Anonymous-wy5tkI feel your pain because I’m stuck, too. All 3 of my adult daughters have alienated me as well. Very grievous!

[@IamKateIsabella]

I’m watching this as the daughter of a mother who was abused for 25 years. I’m two years into the same kind of relationship. I can see that this man is like my father. I feel dependent, trapped, isolated, depressed. I feel doomed repeating ancestral traumas. I do not know how to live on my own in this economy even with a decent career. Mortgage, bills, things break around the house, car troubles, things I can’t do without the man I know but the man I know is a monster.

[@josephbritton]

@@IamKateIsabella I believe you can figure your life out on your own. It’s terrifying and feels impossible. I hope you find your courage. Don’t dwell, reflect. You can do this!

[@LauraUeni]

I also wanted to say that listening to men speak about the literally everything I have suffered so compassionately gives me strength! I am so grateful you all are out there doing this work! It has helped me and It didn’t happen over night but I’m there now. 🙏thank you so much! You’re doing an amazing job!!!

[@nancygirard7343]

Thank you Dr. Clarke for addressing this issue on abuse. I felt completely invisible to my sex addicted, so called Christian husband for 37 years. I finally ended up with cancer and got out of the marriage. For the first time, I feel free.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

So glad to hear you feel free, as every person should. A healthy relationship is having the freedom to be yourself, while at the same time caring about the other person.

[@yesyoga]

Im so grateful to hear such truth! Lifesaving ❤

[@leilagomulka5690]

Yes. It’s easier to side with the guys- the old boys club… great quote.

[@hollikrebs]

I’m one of those ladies, I need prayer for the LORD’S guidance. I need to hear Him clearly. The emotions block my receiving what my Father God would say or is saying to me.

[@hollikrebs]

My physical health, my spiritual life, my serving the Lord all blocked. Pray for me.

[@brendacarinio3633]

This has by far been THE MOST impactful and empowering video on this topic. And I have watched hundreds of videos trying to find help and hope for myself. Thank you…thank you for sharing this amazing and impactful resource. I’ve just bought his book. Feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. Thank you!

[@wendybraswell5304]

You have described every aspect of 31 years of my life. My son ,my husband , and I live together so I get it from both of them. I go months and never go outside. I'm in a prison I allowed.

[@suthrnangel218]

I finally found your videos. My husband died in our yard. I went to therapy and was feeling confident and knew my life would be different. Happy and make new friends. It was a little over a year, and I met Prince Charming in Tin Foil. He was charming, kind, sweet spoken, caring... Everything a lady needs to feel loved. We dated a few months (red flag), and he pushed for us to be together. I had bought a new double home and had it put on my I sister's land. Three months later, her husband told me to "get the f*** off of my land." I was moving some boxes to my shed, and he thought I told her I was moving away. He put his fist in my face and told me , "YOU NEED TO GET OVER THIS!"....My husband's death. I still cried a year later, and now I still cry 6 years later. So, I moved my home to Prince Charming's land. As soon as my home was moved onto his land, he has his own cabin, but as s I on I moved to my house, he started with the ABUSE! I could not do that right. I was ignored. I was a ghost to his friends. I was a piece of s^*t that nobody loves. He told me my husband hated me, my dog hated me... Everyone hates you. I cried so much. I couldn't talk to him about hurtful things, happy things, good things....nothing. I was shattered. I talked to a Christian friend about this and...they went straight to him and told him what I said, that he was abusing me, emotionally, mentally and bodily. He gave me the wrath of he!! I got the silent treatment for weeks. I was dying of loneliness because, by this time, he had turned me family and everyone else against me. He had a huge smear campaign against me. I wanted to go to church and he refused to let me go. By this time, nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn't have the strength nor money to run. I learned to walk with my head down. Walk on eggshells and do as I was told. I didn't talk. I didn't speak to anyone. I would lying and pet my puppy. She was dying of brain cancer , and I knew she knew she needed me. My daughter will not speak to me. I am not allowed to see my 6 grandchildren. It's been 5 years since I saw them. There Are twins that she hid the pregnancy from me and gave birth to twin boys. I'll never meet them. She threatened to throw my grandson out if he ever spoke to me again. He had been an alcoholic 20 years prior and he became a severe Alcoholic and I was afraid of him. He swore to me that he didn't drink, when I met him, and never had nor would. I get scared of him because he gets mean. He comes to my house, 300 feet away, for one reason. I am ashamed and take a bath the scrub the nastiness off of me. I pray and pray for God to help me. I had a mild heart attack one night, caused by him and when I called him he came to the hospital and literally, fell out of his vehicle so drunk that he couldn't get back up. I had to put him in the passenger seat and drove home in the fog and dark, which I can't see at night. I drove up, got out and left him sitting in his vehicle. I came in my house, locked the door and took nitroglycerin for my heart. The Paramedic told him he caused it because he told her that he was yelling at me. Marriage counseling was a waste because the therapist was "a stupid woman". There's just so much more...the women, the dating sites, the chats...that he was doing and denied all of it, even with me showing him screenshots. He said I was a liar. I fought Spinal Cord Cancer and was given a year to live. I went from being a basic vegetable to speaking and walking again. I begged God to help me and he did. There's so, so much more but...I have met the Devil. His eyes turn coal black in a Narcissistic rage and his face looked so contorted that it was hard to recognize him. It's awful. I am saving to get my house off of his land and placing a restraining order on him. He has his own bussiness and everyone thinks he is a God. He bad mouths me to his clients. Some are starting to see through him but he draws them right back again and I AM THE ABUSIVE ONE, AGAIN. Prayering that God can help me soon. No one deserves to be treated like a sex slave. God Bless y'all because this video let me open up and reach out....I cried too....

[@valeriehancock1724]

That’s heartbreaking 😢

[@suthrnangel218]

@@valeriehancock1724 I will get away. I will leave everything, if I have too. A few clothes, all my cancer meds and my puppy. I don't have a destination but, away from him, far away. He's taken my puppy away from me and takes her to his house. I cry because she's the only living thing in my life. He gave her to me but he's never getting her back. I love her. She makes me laugh and smile...life is so strange. I never dreamed people like this existed...except in ho=or movies. Take care of yourself and thanks for having a heart...

[@ginalorraine1899]

Oh, gosh! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hear you. I believe you. You don’t deserve any of this, and I hope you understand your value soon and are able to get some space so you can heal. I’m in Nebraska. Are you close? Perhaps we can work together to help you.

[@pamelacave5515]

​@@suthrnangel218they do bad things to your pets. Be smart!

[@suthrnangel218]

@@pamelacave5515 I watch my puppy with an eagle eye. She's my heart

[@colleenbirkmaier9138]

Thank you so much for this! Wish I could have heard this years ago. Lived in a marriage like that for 30 years! Even divorced and remarried and divorced again! While we were married I reached out to my pastor and his wife several times..even went for counselling! After my divorce and three years of therapy 13 years ago,I am still learning and healing more all the time. So grateful to be where I am today. Thank you again..finally some validation from a Christian point of view at last.

[@sharonbrown927]

I couldn't have said it better!!! My stepmother was a narcissist 2 of my husband's and now both of my sons.... the only hope I have is the lord !.... I hurt and feel your pain to others who have and are going through this.... Love and prayers to all of you beautiful people who have been narcissist abuse ❤

[@singingforthelordjesusviviane]

I admire both of you speaking up !

[@sbg4ever120]

You two gentlemen need to teach a course together to challenge and encourage men to understand the scriptures in proper context! Men and church leadership need to understand especially covert narcissists. God bless you both! This video has been truly life-changing! 💜🙏

[@drdavidbhawkins]

So glad you found it helpful. Thanks for your feedback

[@sallygrant5927]

A couple years ago after being recently born again God was telling me to leave my husband, get away from your Jonah. I did for 2 weeks and then he wanted to come back and I gave in. He had totally made me dependent on him because I raised the kids and he took care of everything else. My kids are grown and treat me ok because I do everything to help them with their children but every now and then their true feelings come out. They think I’m not worth respecting either. I was raised by a narcissist and my Mom stayed so I of course ended up marrying one. My brother is one and treats his wife abominably. What a mess.

[@bettywhite4338]

This is the best video I’ve ever heard, and I’ve listened to many, on this topic. You described my life to a tee. Thank you, THANK YOU, for putting into words, what wives are sometimes unable to express.

[@caroleure3269]

So many times this starts right after marriage and continues for years. After divorce from a man like this, how do you ever trust the charismatic man who seems great? I’m sure some are, but how do you know?

[@msliberated3899]

Godly discernment from the Holy Spirit will help, read and pray to God for it ASAP!

[@jorjabennett8419]

Wow! What an absolutely accurate and incredible video describing so many women's lives and experiences! Please continue to educate, speak openly and support healing for generations of women trapped & harmed in communal environments designed to keep women, mothers, sisters, daughters in abusive, degrading homes, families, communities, cultures while they suffer in multiple areas in silence with no refuge, acknowledgement, safety, escape or recovery.....the mighty work of God exposing truth is only path! Peace & Love to all of us! ❤

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad to hear it resonated with you. Thanks for your feedback

[@tearthangel373]

He said, “I didn’t say that”! I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[@NewlifeNewbeginnings2]

I moved out but still have codependency that I’m praying to God to help me with that. Plus my daughter still lives there bc her school and friends are nearby and I still don’t have my place together.

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Praying for you to be set free of any unhealthy ties. God Bless.

[@KarenM-ww2kq]

Everything you've said about the narcissist and what they do happened to me. I am amazed at your accuracy and understanding. I stayed in a marriage for 12 years trying to make it work. It was so painful. He did go for the character assassination upon separating. But he was so harmful during my time with him that the ability to close the door at the end of the day after divorce was a relief because he was no longer there. How can anyone justify staying in such an abusive environment ever?

[@sunshinefo]

This is so true.Am grateful to God that we now have men talk about this topic especially about the response from the church community.Thank you gentlemen.

[@heathercashwell1003]

Oh my goodness I’m so glad I’ve stumbled upon you both! True understanding thank you! I’ve subscribed and I’m tuned in completely! I’m in the process of getting educated and recovering from codependency and I’m ready to get prepared to leave him. I am very aware of how the actual leave will look. The point of the children turning against me is terrifying but I have to get out of this horrible situation! Thank you so much for scriptures!! I’ve experienced the exact thing you spoke of through the church. My husband’s father is a pastor my husband is a communal narcissist so I’ve stuck this out for 27yrs. Your work is extremely helpful thank you for sharing

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Thanks for your feedback and for sharing your story of courage and hope. God bless your healing journey.

[@hannahgoldie1373]

Definitely ordering the book. Wonder if it deals with abuse in the church - some pastors and church hierarchy can be very emotionally abusive especially as they influence how you feel in your relationship with God.

[@judyp5836]

This is so much my life and I didn't want it. I see it now. I left. He ended up calling me and he eventually died later, I always still cared about him. But now I know the truth. Thank you!

[@perladelmar4954]

Thanks God for this podcast, I was in a marriage with a Narcissist for 20 years , it was hard and painful, but God release me from it and he is restoring my life , God is amazing , I’m happier and know my value , I have cero contact and is super good , (I’m also divorce for about 4 years , but the process is long and painful, but with God everything is possible, Glory to God . 🙏

[@sandycares2995]

Clarity was profound!!! I've thought so much of what was said was real truth but never heard it before. I've gone through the latter totally. Starting from conception. You subconsciously draw to those people not realizing it. I'm 71 now and have spent the last 15 years alone for my own safety. But also God has been healing me and teaching me along the way to better mental health. Thank you. Another big step.💫

[@DrJulesDC]

Thank you so much for this. Even though it’s a very harrowing subject that I sadly relate somewhat to, you both made it easy to understand and even enjoyable to listen to. The biggest thing for me was painting a picture of what life could be like without the constant stress, unease, rollercoaster of emotions and unhappiness. 🙏🙏🙏

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad you found it helpful and we wish you the best in your healing journey

[@janetfedeles3964]

Amen! I am a child of narcissistic parents and am appalled by other Christians who think they have to stay with their narcissistic husbands because of their "vows." They are so codependent and make excuses for the abuser. Plus these Christians who think I am awful for taking my stance against this abuse. I am 68 yo now and suffer trauma symptoms and an autoimmune disorder from years of not being aware that I was being emotionally abused. I knew God would not want anyone to live like I did, before I heard this interview. I lost years of my life and made bad choices before I became aware. God wants me to be the authentic person he created me to be. This interview covers every important point. To anyone who is being abused, please listen and take these words to heart. Thank you Dr. Hawkins and Dr. Clark.

[@jenniferingemi6982]

I feel like there are NO men out there that are not abusers….why do they become this way after love bombing you!!! This is absolutely horrible…i am just seeing so much more clearly that I have been in this abusive marriage for 35 years!!!!! My last child just graduated from high school and its time to make a change!!! I am reading your book ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! My children will have to do work as well!😢

[@drdavidbhawkins]

Glad you are finding clarity on how to move forward and hope you and your children find healing. God Bless

[@hmason731]

This is the most profound video that has given me the power to confirm the reason I am in the process of leaving a 30 year marriage. Thank you for speaking directly to my heart.