Why Women Stay in Emotionally Abusive Relationships ? | Dr. David Hawkins

[@annatkinson2197]

It can take so much energy to get through each day - leaving you drained - that the thought of going through a divorce or separation is just overwhelming and too big a mountain to climb.

[@SuzanneLegendre]

That’s so true 💔 I left after 24 years. I was a shell of myself

[@angeliathompson5183]

Exactly!

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Yes. 32 years

[@SuzanneLegendre]

Moments of kindness. Creates a trauma bond.

[@adamslaura768]

Or not even actual kindness… just a hint of “seemingly” unselfishness that we jump all over and make a billboard because we are dosed up on h-opium. (Hope-ium)

[@carriewalker9683]

Yes, the roller coaster of Hope and disappointment

[@nattya9467]

I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I wish the court system were as aware as you two gentlemen.

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

What i would say now. The First time he/she hits, slaps or anything they say " go ahead leave, you wont get anything from here". Leave. Dont ever go back. A abusive person becomes abusive pretty fast after getting married, within a year. Leave. . Where do you go without help when there is no help. There is No telling him to leave. You are " conditioned" you start to think " one day"

[@carriewalker9683]

And then there’s a fear that they’re going to turn family members against you

[@Tinag-we6oj]

And they do turn you're children against you! After 34 years of marriage I finally ask for a divorce. He lied to my 3 children and as a result they have not spoken to me in a year. Heartbroken but not going back

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

​@@Tinag-we6oj100%

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

​@@Tinag-we6oj32 years

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

​@@Tinag-we6ojyes.

[@annatkinson2197]

Trauma bonds can be a big factor

[@SusanWigmore-v5e]

Health is my number one chronically and progressively sick. Disability would send me into homelessness. I wouldn’t be able to afford rent in todays inflation. Life is so unfair. The system would cause me to go into more suffering. From suffering to more suffering. I wish we can talk about this more. I wish I can meet women in my situation.

[@nancysampson4978]

I'm so sorry. I am also physically ill. Have you considered placing an application into subsidized housing for elderly or disabled?

[@nancysampson4978]

It is difficult because of dependency. You become dependent on mate. Plus they are often the great person you married. It becomes confusing.

[@1969kellyp]

You forgot fear of loneliness. Whether it’s companionship, intimacy, or general help at least someone is there. Being alone there isn’t any of that. Nothing good about being alone except your not being emotionally hurt by him.

[@cathymiller6670]

Yes, part two please..

[@judysteinfeldt3159]

‘’ The children don’t like you”

[@carriewalker9683]

Yes, it is cumulative and yes, it keeps on happening

[@lindamceachern5467]

This hits home for me and where I live. Six women have been murdered by their partner...men in the last three months. Domestic violence is definitely on the increase.

[@nattya9467]

Yes, my ex husband threatened to make sure I go broke if I filed. And he sure did.

[@stephanieguesswallace8392]

Thank you so much for your help for this .. and it is obvious that you care. Thank you so very much. It’s very much needed.

[@lolaleighcoe5535]

Neglect is huge with a covert narcissist

[@birdlady2725]

Whole sad life when this emotional abuse is by parent against 'unwanted child'. N Rages and abuses and fear of going home after school....😢 "IF I Can't have you, Nobody will' death threat by hs bf. He came to college and threatened me. Thank God some professors heard n got campus police. I attract evil psychos. Terrifying! Nowadays, with gps tracking, i had a guy showing up in many places (at least 6 times in various places in AZ! Too many times/places to be 'coincidental'. He made sure I saw him - made sure I knew he could find me 'anywhere'. So. Where do I go to stay safe? Police won't do scans for gps trackers, or find out if he's using my phone (or both). Lots of physical, mental and emotional terrorizing.

[@nattya9467]

You missed one - Lack of support outside of the relationship. If I had stable support with my family I wouldn't of fallen for my abuser and felt stuck. My abuser also had a large family (flying monkeys) and he was enmeshed with his mother. They would plot against me and manipulate my children and keep them from me whenever I spoke up in the abuse.

[@lolaleighcoe5535]

Looking forward to part 2

[@SuzanneLegendre]

Yes part 2 please!!!

[@lolaleighcoe5535]

Financial abuse, no support system, isolation

[@lynnelee2833]

Please do part 2

[@PamelaK.Edmonson]

You covered it.👍

[@rationalevidence9095]

I wish the Doctor's would make a clearer distinction between geographical separation and divorce. Those are different steps in different journeys. Why does everyone pretend you have to either live together or get divorced?

[@Blessingsfromautism]

I first I believed he would kill me as he would talk about in detail. I am afraid I wont be able to hold a job. 19 years ago I was a hard worker and 1 of the best employees. This past year I just started going to church in person and I am so awkward socially. My brain will just stop working at times. Everything is in his name and we have a prenup I have zero access to the bank I have a child with special needs I get hope some times he will change I am scared I will become homeless I dont want my son left with a stranger

[@nancysampson4978]

I'm so very sorry.

[@PamelaK.Edmonson]

My sister did.

[@jenmessier2195]

Why am I listening to this as a justification why I stay and also find myself saying its not that bad and if I were better and just did the "simple" things he asks the name calling/criticism wouldn't happen anymore... and I do have friends just say leave or other that say its not that bad being a single mom is worse and there are problems in every relationship...

[@gooner173]

Manipulation

[@Michael-f9y7k]

The proper question, which would have sent the whole discussion into something useful, is “why do couples stay in unhappy relationships?”. But, alas, the reason they are doing this is self serving. Two grifters hunting for well-heeled pigeons. Also, one would expect the Director of the Emotional Abuse Institute (ha!) could coherently define emotional abuse beyond saying it is complex and a “feeling”. Once the label is hung and the narrative is locked in, the ride on the victim/perpetrator dynamic will tear apart the couple. Until they extract themselves from these “experts”, begin to think critically and live again.

[@Blessingsfromautism]

I first I believed he would kill me as he would talk about in detail. I am afraid I wont be able to hold a job. 19 years ago I was a hard worker and 1 of the best employees. This past year I just started going to church in person and I am so awkward socially. My brain will just stop working at times. Everything is in his name and we have a prenup I have zero access to the bank I have a child with special needs I get hope some times he will change I am scared I will become homeless I dont want my son left with a stranger I used to blame myself until last year