Married & Alone: Step One of the Twelve Steps | Dr. Doug Weiss

[@DrDougWeiss]

To watch the rest of the Married & Alone series, check out this playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLoQAJVqvxAfhoYq-6aM64aOd6N8OAUSPK

[@stephm5877]

It breaks my heart to know so many are living in this kind of pain. It is excrutiating, but so grateful for Dr. Doug and grateful to have understanding.

[@SusanBrown-r3d]

I am living this most of the time and in so much pain, deep scars and wounds from my husband’s verbal and emotional abuse, been counseling with a pastor, have cried so many tears, wondered many times how I would go on

[@DrDougWeiss]

Your pain and trauma from what you have experienced are real. I'm glad to hear that in spite of this, you have chosen to get some help with this situation. If you feel like you are dealing with partner betrayal trauma, you can check out some of my KZbin videos on this and see if it resonates. kzbin.info/aero/PLoQAJVqvxAfjgl9SSfc4M6JBr97Nfx8yV If it does, you can go to partnerbetrayaltrauma.org for helpful resources or contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to get booked with a therapist, as well as join one of our support groups. You are not alone in this.

[@vanessal2462]

I feel SO alone ALL the time with him. But he won't leave no matter how much I ask.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You may have to be the one to leave since he's not the one in pain. You might also want to get support from a phone group. The DVDs "He Needs To Change", "Why Do I Stay", and "Unstuck" could be helpful. www.drdougweiss.com/product/he-needs-to-change-dr-weiss-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/ If you haven't already, you can join our Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

[@lolcastro3243]

I am going theu the same situation and im pregnant with first child

[@propbender2]

Thank you Dr. Weiss. Your videos minister to me and my heart, and I have signed up now to meet with one of your coaches (Dennis) on Tuesday. I am so looking forward to speaking with him, and God bless you and your team for your ministry and work!!!...

[@DrDougWeiss]

Wonderful, and I'm glad that these have been helpful.

[@WalkerHoundGal]

Dr. Weiss, I have been with the same man, married 38 years, together for 46 years. He withholds virtually everything. But I don’t know if I should bother trying anymore because he betrays me with my estranged siblings and inflicts parental alienation on my adult children and myself. I live apart now, 1.5 years. He says he wants to be married, but I must ignore his behavior and allow the constant gaslighting, or else I get more betrayal behavior. I’m literally in it only for the insurance at this point because he has shattered my heart with his neglect. His psychiatrist says he isn’t narcissistic and doesn’t have psychopathic tendencies but I live with the emotional and psychological torture. I am not hopeful anymore and have been working on building a business so I can move on and support myself. I want to heal my brokenness.

[@Lehmann108]

Blessings on you and your life.

[@WalkerHoundGal]

@@Lehmann108 Thank you. ❤️

[@DenisesCraftyCreations]

Thank you for posting this series! I can’t wait for the other episodes!!! 😢

[@DrDougWeiss]

Glad you like them!

[@jeanettevanzant7148]

Thank you. It's hard to believe that I have married a man that don't love me. I'm so loving and care deeply about him and he has no emotions to anything I say or do. I need healing. I play your videos out loud to him and he won't listen just gets upset. Blaming me. It's been 20 years of trying to look nice and even begging for attention. No change just worse. Maybe it's time for me to move on but in the back of my head tells me no I can change things. I appreciate your videos thanks again for caring

[@DrDougWeiss]

You're welcome and I'm sorry for the pain you've been going through. You can't change this though. If he is choosing not to change, things will stay the same. If you haven't already, you can join our Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group for support. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

[@dinajones2761]

Please let him go. Don’t waste another 20 years. Life is too short. Look how fast each year is flying.

[@ABar83376]

It’s hard when you literally are alone & disconnected and your partner thinks everything is fine. That your just trying to cause issues by just talking to them. It diet seem fair. I feel like I’m being punished.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You're right, that's not fair. If you'd like, you can join the Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group for support. You are not alone in this and you are worthy to be loved. www.drdougweiss.com/intimacy-anorexia-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

[@2004danadilworth]

That’s how I feel, too.

[@MrsK976]

I am in the same situation. My heart is broken.

[@Nini-tu7kz]

You're describing my marriage

[@Angie247Beers]

Indeed, not fair at all. Same here. My husband generally thinks things are going great the less I speak and thinks they are going horribly when I attempt to connect with him.

[@elhamelshant7182]

The caption alone enough to describes my marriage!

[@TimandLauren]

Holy crap this hit home… thank you

[@sitka49]

They finally decide after much prodding. He says "They'll have sex with you" - But my question is ,is the sex their giving worth having? The husband maybe giving 30 sec missionary sex for the wife ( if she's the sex starved partner?). And for the sex starved husband, the wife 30 sec into the act is already asking " are you done yet"? I think that's worse then no sex? for me I would come away making the mental distress worse.

[@dianealbano3]

Here's the problem everytime I listen to your videos I get so angry that I can't make it to the 2nd step

[@Witchslayer007]

I really hope you made it to step two sweetie. Just some motivation 💜🤗

[@MaEsther1969]

But why is that happening with some many? 😢

[@josefinavegas8592]

Dr.Doug Weiss, My husband and I have been together for 17 years, but are now separated for the last 8 months and I believe we have Intimacy Anorexia. I've been looking at your videos for over a month now and my journey has started with 12 steps to healing, married and alone. Unfortunately he is holding on to being alone and refuses to facing our real problems, I asked him why? he doesn't know is always his reply. So my question to you is why does it seem like nails on a cholk board to him when discussing our marriage? Please help us understand that as a start. Thank you for your time Sincerely A woman who is married and alone about to be divorced. Josefina Vegas

[@DrDougWeiss]

It sounds like he is not committed to heal at this time. You might want to watch the DVDs "Married & Alone" and "Unstuck" to help you have a better understanding as to why you have little to no value to him. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/

[@elisaengstrom7116]

The dvd's seem expensive. $49.95, $69.95?

[@laurenhawkins470]

Is there a global group for support one could join?

[@DrDougWeiss]

We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

[@michaelmoss6590]

Hi Dr Doug. Thanks for these first two, where can I find the rest?

[@DrDougWeiss]

The rest are still being worked on and will be released in the future.

[@Rebecca-yx5it]

😢

[@fbrennan9494]

How does one start healing after 29 years of this kind of relationship. I don't want a divorce for how hard that is too. So choosing to stay, but how do you live with someone like this and stay healthy? Do you live as two separate people, as we are currently doing? How does God get any Glory in any of this?

[@DrDougWeiss]

You can start by getting support for yourself in this. You don't have to go through this alone. Contact my office at 719-278-3708 and my team can get you booked with one of our therapists who will help through this with you and find healing in the process. Join our Married & Alone support group as well to connect with a supportive community of women: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone For materials, you can check out the Married & Alone book, workbook, and stepbook which will provide validation and guidance on your journey. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-healing-exercises-workbook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-twelve-step-guide/ You might find the DVDs He Needs To Change or Unstuck helpful as well. www.drdougweiss.com/product/he-needs-to-change-dr-weiss-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/

[@fbrennan9494]

@@DrDougWeiss Wish you can answer how does God get any glory in this? Thank you for the other information...

[@fbrennan9494]

Can you please let me know why you and your wife divorce after 30 years of marriage. I don't want to believe what the internet says. It is hard to understand after all your good teachings as to what happened. I would rather hear it from you. Kind of discouraging to think if you can't make it after all you have invested, how can we (at least to some level - I know God can of course). It would help if you can share a bit...

[@Carmalene1]

I have no connection with my husband of 22 years. I've felt alone for majority of my marriage. He has spent more time golfing and sitting on a bar stool than with his family. I'm close to indifference. He says he loves me but they're just words. He wants me sexually and try's all the time. I just don't want to there is too much hurt from the last 20 years of living like a single mother of four kids we have no connection.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Your pain from this is valid. If you haven't already, join our Married & Alone phone group or Facebook group for support. It's important to get healing for yourself. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

[@timsouza7903]

So, what do you say about a spouse who is married to someone who is literally battling PTSD, and literally cannot be more intimate than hugging, walking holding hands?

[@DrDougWeiss]

If they are actively working on their PTSD, I would say nothing. They could try neuromodulation like the Cereset technology we have here in our building. This has had much success with those with PTSD. You can call us at 719-644-5778 for more information about Cereset or send an email to [e-mail]

[@DarleneSharpe-x7j]

I am from Canada,Ontario. I feel like I'm in a black hole. I need help, but don't know how

[@DrDougWeiss]

We offer telephone counseling as well as support groups over the phone and on Facebook. Call us at 719-278-3708 or email us at [e-mail] and we can help you get started and figure out a way forward for your healing.

[@blackbird5138]

Hi, will you be posting steps 7 to 12?

[@DrDougWeiss]

Yes, I will be posting those, but I some I still have to film.

[@deborahs.sinico4836]

I am in a marriage with a spouse who i has an emotional affair so how can you have sex with a person who's cheating on you. How can you call this intimacy anorexia on my part.

[@virtuouswriter4821]

I have been married for 18 years. My husband has a porn addiction and has had multiple affairs during our marriage. There isn’t any emotional intimacy from him at all. He only offers breadcrumbs of attention when he isn’t getting what he wants. As long as his needs are met sexually then he is happy. I feel very used and unloved. Is this a form of intimacy anorexia?

[@thinkdifferent2411]

Please tell us here what are the solutions ?

[@DrDougWeiss]

The future videos of this series will go over the solutions but they can also be found in the "Married and Alone DVD" and the "Married & Alone Step Guide" as well. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-twelve-step-guide/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-twelve-step-guide-ebook/

[@Jennsrusticwings]

Please help explain something... he wants to have sex, only without emotional or spiritual intimacy. I want to be with him, I just can't without emotional and spiritual togetherness. He tells me how I reject him all the time, and that he can't do what it takes for me to want to be close. It's so heartbreaking.

[@DrDougWeiss]

He wants object sex, you want relational sex. I would get the book or DVD "Upgrade Your Sex Life" to start having conversations to help you come together. If you need counseling, call us at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled with one of our counselors/coaches.