The 5 Rules of Recovering From Trauma

[@ksize3147]

1. Don't open the box until you know how to close the box. 2.Let the wound heal. Don't constantly pick at the wound.... 3. Do your best to stay in the present. 4.Make new memories and don't let your trauma be the last significant thing that happened to you. 5. Avoid low power mode. Sleep, nutrition, activity, and mindful of substance intake. Brain needs to be healthy after a trauma to repair itself. Great video!

[@Wingedmagician]

thanks 🙏

[@leahamylore]

Thank you for taking notes for me I can now copy on translate lol

[@chinookvalley]

You said this a year ago, "An unoccupied mind is a catastrophic mind." It made a huge impact on my way of living. Thanks.

[@chunkymilk]

what do you do now?

[@DolceIbarra]

I had a childhood of trauma as the daughter of a bipolar alcoholic single mom. Despite it all I grew up to have a good life. I just wanted NORMAL. I was married for 30 years and eventually left that emotionally abusive situation (had a high tolerance for drama). It wasn’t until the separation and ultimate divorce that all the trauma came rolling back in. I’ve been working on re-regulating since 2018. I hope one day to feel safe in this world 🙏

[@markusbaumgartner9266]

I relate to that... With a PTSD alcoholic father and a narcissistic (I would almost wager sociopathic) mum, my life never worked. Now I come out of a 7 year relationship with an extremely abusive bipolar girlfriend, and nothing works anymore... I am doing nothing but trying to put myself together since, but I am running out of money to live and that doesn't exactly add to a feeling of safety... When my parents learned of my situation, they swooped in to "help" (meaning acquiring as much of my property as possible) and I barely managed to keep them out of my life.

[@theresaparodi6027]

My very first therapist gave me permission to tell family members who harmed me to stay out of my life. This was the beginning of my recovery. I think of that therapist often.

[@JELamp13]

Hi Dr. Scott - In a future video could you please describe the difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD? It is unfortunate that the DSM-5 committee on Trauma rejected a proposed diagnosis that would get close to describing C-PTSD. I think the ICD-11 does a great job in defining PTSD as 1. Sense of Threat, 2. Avoidance, 3. Re-experiencing but then goes on to define C-PTSD as having all the core symptoms of PTSD plus 3 additional - 4. Affect Dysregulation , 5. Negative Self Concept, and 6. Interpersonal disturbances. I ask this of you because I spent 12 of the last 13 years misdiagnosed by ignorant / unaware / uninformed "professionals" as having severe, treatment resistant Depression. The depression was only a symptom of a larger dynamic. It is only in this past year that I discovered C-PTSD is even a thing and that it actually applies to me. I was able to discover this because of YT creators like yourself. If more people are aware that Complex-PTSD is a thing, are able to recognize it's basic symptoms and how it is different from PTSD ("Shock Trauma"), and are armed with the knowledge that C-PTSD it is ALMOST ALLWAYS misdiagnosed as something else - then hopefully others will not waste decades of their life receiving treatment that is ineffectual in addressing what the root cause of their suffering actually is.

[@cynthiasarah4286]

@JELamp13 yes. I have both. And my father head of the Psychology department for 50 years now. So you are correct. Cptsd is actually a whole different animal. The reason it should stay separated it Cptsd causes high levels of DID. Used to be Multiple personality disorder. Anything that happens between 0 and 8 can kill the original child and a new person will emerge to survive. I suggest you read Run Rabbit Run And The Flock. Most people with DID are high functioning career masking people. Excellent at work. Until something cracks open a box.. the ability to multi task crumbles.. then you need help and fast.

[@Rdasilva-reggiebluejay]

You just explained why I have very liitle time for nostalgia. Most people my age seem fixated on the songs and shows of their past. I have no desire to be reminded of my past. I prefer new things that don't remind me of anything.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

I've noticed the same thing lately people at work like listening to 90's and 00's music, it doesn't help me at all.

[@theresaparodi6027]

@@Tim_G_Bennettwhat about people who talk at length of lovely childhood experiences. I have nothing to contribute to those conversations.

[@susanmercurio1060]

Me too

[@shenonnie17]

Are you referring to PTSD related to abduction captivity isolation starvation and torture? Or the PTSD caused by the secret Zionist occupation of the American government that lies about terrorism of other nations and orders US to wipe out innocent families homesteads neighborhoods villages and towns, only to realize who the real terrorists are? Or do you mean PTSD from an illness or horrible accident? Please provide perspective

[@claudine9662]

Me three.

[@peggymerritt9019]

Great explanation.Stuck since 2010. Although I tried & tried to learn & go new places, but I couldn't! During surgery, the Dr removed a tumor that resulted in pulling a chunk of my brain dura frontal lobe. I slowly isolated, ruminate, had more & more personal trauma because I was unable to keep a train of thought. I was taken advantage of so many times, I quit everything. Alone, was only safe place. I made terrible decisions. I'm a smart, intelligent woman but each time I got a tad ahead, another shoe dropped. That's how I relate - like a wounded animal who is seriously injured & hidden in a hole, waiting to die.

[@MrDontcareify]

That sounds like medical trauma.

[@1Gr8Editrix]

So true. I realize how my failure to move forward stemmed from the need to feel safe -- and field all the curveballs.

[@jeffhunter5025]

Thank you for making this video and for highlighting the problem of being inactive in life out of a desperate want to be safe and to feel safe. I struggle with this and discuss this with my therapist. It’s somewhat comforting to know I’m not alone in this. But moreso, I wish no one, including myself, deals with this.

[@victoryamartin9773]

Ya, I relate to that too and to watching things that remind me of the trauma. I have noticed how it triggers anxiety in my body.

[@m3ntyb]

And what you said about not letting it be the last thing is HUGE. Why, why can't people jusy say it like this, maybe im only more receptive to hear it right now, but that's been one of my biggest revelations, because i honestly didn't plan to make it this long, but now that I am im realizing that i *have* to make new and better memories for myself, however i need to and can, because i did stop and i have lost time, the last decade has been a complete blur. You've also said a lot about developing numbness to living, but that's unsustainable. I suffered and struggled for so long that I thought I could just bare minimum survive being miserable until the end, but something will have to give one way or other, it might as well be in the direction of developing more peace, hope, and contentment.

[@jeankipper6954]

Wow that'd be something new! Hey, what if it works!!!

[@altonwilliams17]

Quoting Audioslave. Its one of my favorite artists.

[@judi-spiers]

Thank you for these. I have a combo - traumatic childhood and life, plus genetic mental health issues from mother. It's tough.

[@laroark5036]

What if your life has been trauma after trauma after trauma and it seems like that's why your here ?

[@ambergerbuns]

It might be, from a soul perspective. Learning my birth chart put a lot of my sad, scapegoated life into perspective. Now I just look for the lessons and opportunities within the traumas to expand and grow. Reframing is everything. (It’s not perfect, but it gave me something new to think about and explore, which has helped.)

[@zoniemom153]

That’s called complex PTSD where your trauma is chronic, like an abusive childhood or living in a war zone. I think the doc’s strategy here can also work for complex trauma as long as you are out of the situation (I.e. family is dead or excommunicated). If you are still in the situation you will need additional tools.

[@susanmercurio1060]

​@@zoniemom153No, over and over again isn't just your childhood trauma reverberating through your life. It's getting another life situation that traumatizes you and then, after you "recover" from that, another traumatic incident occurs.

[@susanmercurio1060]

Yes, that has been my life.

[@djmaloney9627]

Thank you for asking the question. I can so relate to what you're saying. It's exhausting, and I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to learn when I can't even move on from the past to the next trauma that comes along.

[@stevec404]

You are a treasure!

[@DriftlessWarrior]

Question on Point #2: What if the trauma involved a permanent physical injury that is a 24/7/365 reminder of what happened? It's not possible to simply turn it off like social media, or put it away in a drawer like a photograph. It's always there and always will be. Any thoughts on how to deal with a trauma reminder that is inescapable? This was an excellent video, Dr. Scott. One of your best. Thank you for all you do!!!

[@musestudio7075]

Thank you Scott 🙏 This time of year is especially hard. It's easier to just stay home and do self-care then be out and about. Thanks for the reminders.💜

[@Flower4229]

I get so much from every single one of your videos, I can’t thank you enough

[@everlast6678]

These are all helpful guides. What happens when there are just too many boxes to unpack. Therapists can become overwhelmed as well and then you are left to struggle on your own. Sometimes, protecting whatever hard won peace you find is the best you can do.

[@pinkiehunter8443]

It’s difficult if not impossible to heal from trauma if you are stuck in a situation that exacerbates it & you still feel that you are in an unsafe environment…emotionally.

[@laurashehadi7614]

Soooo true!

[@Britdv]

I'm so right there in a situation 12yrs after initial Traumas caused Cptsd - yet this situation is w/elderly parents I moved back home 2 care 4 (I'm their only child).. I'm in total shock that 4 last 5yrs (after being denied the Treatment I shud av had 12yrs ago) - I'm now in midlife & facing Parents Mental, Emotional & Physical Abuse...I now realize why Complex Ptsd has origins in Childhood - I'd just blocked it out cos I was "Brainwashed" I was a bad child. It was ALL Lies - I'm living w/parents as too unwell to function & live alone due to the severity of my Complex Ptsd - yet facing this Truth is the biggest shock & Hell ever. My physical body's now very sick & in Country I've moved home to the Medical Healthcare isn't fit 4 purpose - they're 40yrs behind u.s.a& we've 7-million people on waiting lists for tests & Treatment for everything. I cud go on: just 2 exhausted Ive not responded to out patient therapy so going into Holistic Healing Residential Facility was my only Medically Recommend option 12yrs ago. i've still not had it. My severity of Complex Ptsd needs Safety on every level 4 Nervous System to Regulate back w/various therapeutic methods It costs 2 much. Yet it's medically written I Critically need it 4 me to av any type of functional life; healthcare ignore their own Consultant who said this😱 Parents know I'll die soon as my digestive System's bin in Shutdown 5 months & I can't eat solid food, but they won't treat this either. So on top of their abuse, all they care about now and is me letting them know where my Bank & things are in u.s.a. as they say they're 2 old 2 deal w/it. They've no emotions or compassion - nothing. So immature I see. I'm unable to wrap my mind & heart around this hurt & zero interest in their only Daughter who's only reason for moving here in 2019, was to be here if they need me. There's no social services or charities here whatsoever who can offer support... I'm beyond it - this ain't life - it's A Living Death in Hell💔

[@pinkiehunter8443]

@ britdv Wow! Your story sounds eerily familiar. My anxiety is through the roof & all I wanna do is run as far & as fast as I can. I never realized how childhood affects us but after 3 concussions & the C-PTSD it’s a miracle I’m still here. I left home at 14 to escape a world of misery & abuse. Spent my adult life taking care of parents who never really cared for me & now having to live with & care for my dad because of dementia. The same dreadful environment that I left as a tween has become my reality as an aging adult. My good years are growing shorter & I’m spending them in hell. No hopes for recovery meds don’t work therapy is a joke & my physical health is declining because I’m exhausted from the struggle. There’s no affordable healthcare options unless you can shell out $6k or more a month for memory care $200+ per day for in home help. As an only child the burden is all mine. The pain is all mine. The misery is all mine. All I can say is where do I go from here? I pray that you find help peace & comfort & strength to continue on as I must do even if I’m not sure how. It’s comforting knowing Im not alone in my struggles. Maybe we must carry this burden here because our reward is in heaven someday. This is all that I have left to hope for. I wish you well & all the best. Hang in there! I’m hanging on too.

[@hansonel]

As someone with CPTSD from childhood trauma trying to progess beyond it and not let it rule my life and decisions this was helpful. I also think it's linked to my depression and anxiety as well and is fueling it or maybe vice versa.

[@SoCalRegisteredNurse]

Perfect timing. I just went through an extremely traumatic experience, on top of the others I’ve experienced, and I’m having the weirdest dreams. Some are reliving the trauma, but most of them I’m just in weird situations but the end result is me feeling powerless in my dream to stop what is happening. I was prescribed something for my nightmares, but it drops my blood pressure so I’m afraid to take it. I don’t know what to do

[@DriftlessWarrior]

Right after my abusive mom passed away in 2022, I started having horrific nightmares about her. I was also prescribed something that drops blood pressure, and since I'm normally maybe 100/60 tops, I was afraid to take it. What we did was monitor my BP. I think BP has to get really really low before it's a problem. Anyway, I took the med and it worked wonderfully. After about 18 months, I tried going without it, and the nightmares very rarely happened after that. I know everyone's experience is unique, but I hope this helps you. Wishing you the best! ❤

[@mrevanoc]

I hope you are doing well and will stand to get through it

[@danasunshine78]

See if you can start with a lower dose and definitely monitor your blood pressure and keep it written down for your doctor.

[@SoCalRegisteredNurse]

I’m going to try it again tonight and see how it goes feel tomorrow. My prescriber started me at the lowest dose (1mg). This last week my sleep has been so messed up because of these dang dreams and they’re so vivid

[@DriftlessWarrior]

@SoCalRegisteredNurse Hope you get some relief! ❤️

[@mph1ish]

God bless you Dr. Scott. You truly get it. Thank you.

[@Crazy_Cat_Lady_13]

Thank you for this. Decades on in trying to deal with trauma having been re-triggered by mental health services in the past couple of years unfortunately, I've had to put some boundaries in place having tried, & failed, to address issues in a more healthy & appropriate way. The people involved keep finding ways to circumvent my boundaries (by post or e-mail) & I'm struggling to keep them in place, especially in the run-up to the festive period, as I have no desire to hurt those who more enabled the trauma than were actively involved, but also need to protect & take care of myself first, rather than putting their needs above my own, as I always have historically but which has hindered my ability to heal. I'll be relieved when this time of year is over & my boundaries are less challenged

[@juliesmith6228]

Trauma is an >>injury

[@MaryRacine-q7z]

I relate. Moving forward. Feels uncomfortable. Once I start, I have to keep in motion doing new things, creating my environment instead of hiding motionless in bed or at work or sitting scrolling world events on KZbin. Engaging someone to be with me helps. A lot.

[@jaysins]

Scott, i appreciate you more than you'll ever know.

[@stacieshelburne2584]

I have depression and then trauma happened on top of it, though not ptsd diagnosed. You hit so many nails on the head!!!

[@cynthiasarah4286]

Omg!!!! Finally!!! Don't open the box unless you can close it!!! I had to sue a therapist that opened a lot of ptsd boxes and didn't know how to close them

[@atalantamountain]

I had two sessions with a therapist. For that I opened my scary boxes - also literally to read again diaries and letters - to be able to tell him what exactly had happened. Going back to those days, months and years was so traumatic that I could not sleep for nights before the session, I just lay on my bed in full panic attack. When I had told the therapist some of the incidents, I asked at the end of the second session: ""Well, now that you know something of what has happened, how do you suggest we go on from here?" He said: "Just don't care". Just don't care? After opening all those terrible boxes? Just don't care? How many years studying is needed for such a perfect advice? I said something polite, like I always do to save everybody's face, went out and walked through the city like a zombie, went home and fell on my bed and just layed there like I had been kílled. And I was. Next day I cancelled the next session and went on in my life, not stronger but much weaker. It is bad to be treated terribly by someone you know will do it, but it is much much worse to be treated terribly by someone you asked help from.

[@lindasmith6786]

Yes, I can relate to this situation with a not so good therapist. Got it so wrong

[@evadebruijn]

​@@atalantamountain There needs to be more attention given to the fact that bad therapy exists, bad therapists exist, and experiencing that can be retraumatising. After seeing the difference in a group therapy with 1 therapist, and later with 2, I have come to the conclusion to never have a client sit with only 1 therapist would already help with keeping therapeutic standards high enough to be the most helpful and do the least harm. 🍀

[@cynthiasarah4286]

@@atalantamountain wow!!! They carry insurance! Find a malpractice attorney! The man like this destroyed my life my career. I'm still recovering 5 years later. I had to quit a career that I built up working 24/7 because of his blatant inabilities. I found a wonderful therapist who closed all the boxes and resorted functions after 2 years of weekly treatment.

[@funniful]

I won’t ever see a therapist. I have trust issues. I’m misunderstood most of the time, and I believe chances are greatly pointing in the direction that a “therapist “ is not going to understand me correctly, either. So, I’m figuring out myself, and ways to help myself by watching videos like yours. I’ve had things happen to me that would be able to be put into a “traumatic experience “ box by most people. But for me, I feel I have no opinion of the occurrence…good or bad. I’m wondering if my non-reaction is actually a reaction in itself. And I’m wondering if it’s affecting my brain, without me realizing it. I have discovered I’m very likely on the autistic spectrum, as well. So, this might be a factor. Thoughts by anyone are welcome.

[@arielsalinger-kraft6197]

Just because you aren't consciously aware of impressions or feelings in the moment things happen doesn't mean they're not there. How does the exercise of noticing things in the moment (like watching how individual blades of grass move) sound? I know it might be weird, but doing that occasionally helps me slowly start to integrate what my other senses are reporting to my brain.

[@evadebruijn]

To me it sounds like you're already doing well with handling what life throws at you? What parts in your daily existence would you want to improve for optimum mental and physical health? A lot of things you do not need a therapist for. So many resources for self help nowadays. 🍀

[@stevec404]

I opened the info from my midbrain like it was Pandora's Box - what a horror!

[@LiftingUrVeil-LUV]

I started therapy in 2020 and starting healing childhood trauma and I was on a rollercoaster of anger hate depression isolation grief forgiveness and repeat. You get to a point you think you made progress then next day it's like you haven't done anything. I learn to give myself grace. And forgiveness is if and when your ready but you have to forgive yourself most importantly. I knew I was healing when the family I went no contaxt with I decided to bring back in my life without expectations. I let them be who they are because now I love and trust myself fully and finally learning self love had no more need for validation. I realize my truths and allow others theirs. This is only for me because everyone healing journey is individualized and only you knows what best for you... Also self awareness is crucial to the heal journey.. it's alot and once you understand it's a journey and not a destination it takes away some pressure.this channel is one I recently found and I really enjoy your topics and find you genuinely authentic

[@malindagoldman1175]

I've gotten the most help from your videos Norfolk Nebraska

[@FooMantis]

The dog analogy is so perfect! This really helps to encapsulate why ptad is so powerful in disrupting life and normality.

[@Dinoenthusiastguy]

My god, wish I could've seen this video 5 years ago. I felt like he was talking directly to me. Does all of this apply to CPTSD as well? Thanks for everything you do on this channel, like you said it's hard information to find. You are changing and even saving lives.

[@stevec404]

7 decades of 'lost time'.

[@turquoisetoile-universalethics]

💜🙏

[@macareuxmoine]

Sometimes you just can’t. I hope you don’t judge yourself too harshly.

[@rachelkrumpelman5131]

❤ 1 decade here 😢. Just found a trauma therapist. We do a lot of tapping. EMDR is next, plus I've been doing ketamine therapy. My heart goes out to you.

[@nathalievandijk]

5

[@laurashehadi7614]

18 Lost years and counting...

[@KatSpade1018]

Thank you so much! It's been 10 years and I have questioned so many times why it is that I still feel as raw as I did back then. Your videos are helping me so much. Until about two years ago, I hadn't ever even heard the terms narcissistic abuse, malignant narcissist, c-ptsd trauma. Im taking in so much knowledge that I didn't realize was out here. It can become overwhelming just trying to make sense of all the information which of course spikes my already heightened anxiety. I appreciate that you have shared your own experiences with us. One big reason I haven't done counseling is because if you haven't been there, you can NOT "know" and no matter how many books, classes, or studies they've done, they're never going to understand the gravity of what trauma survivors go through. Thank you for your videos.

[@attheranch873]

Excellent info Scott, I’m glad you brought this up. I’ve used EFT or “tapping“ to take trauma out of my nervous system. It has worked very well, and I continue to use it as difficulties arise in life. ANYONE can learn to do it on themselves for free on KZbin.Some practitioners are much better than others. I learned it from Gary Craig, the originator. Nick Ortner of the tapping solution is very good.

[@oksanakaido8437]

I prefer Jessica Ortner, but their Tapping Solution app is a good starting point, I personally just use the free version😃

[@heidijohnson8328]

Spot on advice Dr. Eilers……this is the best info on how to heal trauma. Where to go when to stop the inner mind conversations and when to let go and move on.

[@m3ntyb]

Yeah as someone whose brain understands and processes differently, I WISH my trauma therapist had warned me better about how opening up certain things that I actually wanted to might distract and overwhelm me for MONTHS to come, in such a way that I could not help or control at all. I actually wanted to uncover some things on my own after my previous therapist was trying to do a map for EMDR sessions, but my mind wanted to remember some stuff so I eventually did and then I was destabilized by it for a year and still processing it, but they didn't really help me realize what was happening, they just kept saying I "shouldn't focus on the details", but that's how I work and what was happening involuntarily. Idk if that makes sense, but I wish more therapists explained things like you do, instead of hoping things click by osmosis over time of just "letting me take the lead" or whatever you said in some other video addressing that as well. Now that I KNOW that's how processing can be, I can approach it differently for other things or in the future and not feel guilty for it overwhelming me.

[@shadowjolteon4201]

Thank you, Doc! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been struggling to close the box, but I've also been neglecting some self-care and allowing my mind to wander instead of forcing it to stay in the present. I appreciate you opening my eyes. 😊

[@moiramelvin86]

I have recently tried equine therapy for trauma. It has been transformative and I highly recommend.

[@sharynmain]

That sounds like a really healthy approach… love walking my dog at one location near a riding school with paddocks of around 40-70 horses, grazing and basking in the sun. They are incredible beautiful, intelligent sentinels of the animal world . Good luck 😉

[@NetflixTopVideos]

Best one yet, thank you so much Dr Scott. 😢

[@mwahha6965]

Ty for covering this v relevant rn. I’ve suddenly lost my mother, and was diagnosed with shock and then asked to wait 2 months before seeing a therapist. Hope they can deal with the trauma properly. Absolutely agree many therapists have asked me about child abuse in the first session, just like tackless - when I finally opened the box it definitely took months or years, absolutely hate triggering myself but it is sometimes appealing to do so :(

[@LissaRes]

This was Absolutely Excellent

[@TheKargini]

Dr. Eilers,Thank you ! 57 years after,I’m still exploring my trauma box,and having new insights. We are all so much more brave and courageous,than we realize.❤

[@teriwrong]

Omg! Had Spravato session where I envisioned 3 steel boxes, wrapped in heavy chains and padlocked! 1 burst open. Had very distressing non-therapeutic resolution until I self paid for EMDR. I was feeling really well mentally so I thought now was the time to tackle the middle box. Now I’m opening the middle box with a trauma therapist. Had first session and she was shocked at the trauma when I described it. I, however,feel confident that she will be able to help me resolve the trauma. I have to get it moved in my brain bc it pops up all the time w/o triggers…I don’t want to keep reliving it!

[@ladybird169]

Now I understand why I don't have sence of time! Because not having it in my frontal lobes, I fall back to midbrain sense of time. Makes perfect sense.

[@markusbaumgartner9266]

me too... I have no sense of time in my life at all. Past, present, I don't get the hang of it.

[@Bearcub599]

As a sufferer of C-PTSD and a survivor of childhood trauma, I cannot thank you enough for this amazing informative helpful video. Wishing you peaceful and joyful festive holidays.

[@DrScottEilers]

Thanks, you too!

[@bchristian85]

18 traumatic years, the past five of which have been completely "lost time". This is a hard situation to deal with when all of your circumstances are a result of trauma and there simply isn't a way out.

[@bertholdroettgers213]

Your video is very helpful, as always!👍👍

[@LisaStory-md3hr]

Thank you,Dr Scott ☺️! You help me navigate this crazy world SOOO much! God bless your family and I wish you happy and safe holidays!! 🙏❤

[@musicmamma]

Excellent advice, Dr. E! For the last part of the advice, it felt like you were describing me! Thank you for all you do for us.❤❤

[@Diana_5398]

Thank you so much for what you do here on youtube ❤🎩🙏

[@purrsephone2904]

I think it would be helpful to have the steps printed on the screen as you go along and then listed at the end. I'm doing one of the steps naturally; that is, I'm removing myself from anything that reminds me of my trauma. Thanks.🍁

[@WashingtonWizard99]

Thing is, this world is NOT safe. I'm not talking from my own traumas, I mean, objectively, it's not safe. I greatly prefer being alone to being among people or "in the world." The peace of being with a pet, meditating, reading, staying out of things.

[@Wingedmagician]

this is USEFUL!! feels like it clears the path and reminds me of things that have worked before. and traps that Ive fallen into.

[@dorafeypersefone]

I have given up trying to make friends and bond with people, I cannot overcome my trust issues due to the abuse my narcisistic mother inflicted on me for decades. After another massive fallout with a potential "friend", I am sad and mouring the lonely life that lies ahead of me. No matter how much therapy I have been through (and I really have overcome lots of serious problems) I just can't work out this interpersonal connection issue and I have given up. The problem with my trauma is that I am doomed to suffer the consequences of it.

[@markusbaumgartner9266]

I relate... But I am still just over 40... so some time left. Maybe I find some semblance of home and community somewhere. Maybe.

[@macmax5723]

hey. I really like what you say but dogs do have a sense of time. my dog reacts totally different when I leave the apartment for 15 minutes or a couple hours. that's for sure. greetings from Germany. wish y'all a good time.

[@blackdog1392]

Yes dogs do have a sense of time, their perception of time is different to ours - time passes more slowly. I always keep this idea in mind so that my dog's life is enhanced ie one day of their life is equivalent to one month of ours. To stay present/in the moment with them - exercise, play, affection is made more enriching for them because I am 'mindful' too & not distracted/disociating & not connecting fully with them. Their lives are short compared to ours so we owe them our full attention as they are not here very long. My dog has been instrumental in my recovering from PTSD because I focused on being with her & fully engaged not distracted/dissociated my own and her life. Not perfect at this of course but it is a touchstone for me when I start to get anxious I remind myself to be in the present/be mindful for her if nothing else ! All the best to you.

[@leahamylore]

Well said, this is such a good message for ALL professionals and non professionals… I wish this was impressed upon more professionals… I have complex ptsd, bipolar mood disorder, and ADHD. This is truly a phenomenal video. I was diagnosed at 18 years with bipolar, c-ptsd from SA at 7 (more complex but not going into it here.). Late diagnosis of ADHD 3 years ago that’s also helpful now. So true about “a trauma informed therapist”. I have had great psychologists and doctors but the trauma informed training and therapy is something I wish I could have had 22 years ago when I told of my childhood trauma. You made SO many amazing points here. Condensed into one video. Flamin amazing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 (please I would like to send you an email… I want to ask something personal about my complex trauma if possible..) meanwhile I need to watch this again and take notes! I’ve heard most of these points before but there were a few gems you put in here in such a fresh simple way.. ah I saw you have a paid 24hr email consult, perhaps I will do that to send my email. Take care (oh this person below me took notes for us. lol sweet. 😂)

[@claudine9662]

Oyyyyy.... number 3. I knew something has been off with me, but didn't how what it was never mind how to approach it. I definitely didn't realise *this* is what's been happening with me. Thank you for shedding light on it.

[@Paperskinglassbones]

While I want to keep my mind from the trauma, I do find myself wandering back to the hurt of the trauma every time I am not working on something. Does that mean I have to room to mentally rest or even wander anymore, that I must fill my every waking minute with a mental task? I'm so exhausted.

[@sammm51773]

This hits home.

[@אדירגוגארדו]

i truly adore you scott,i been watching i think all of your videos and hear your podcast reptedly in the gym, god bless you.

[@Red.Christopher]

This is really helpful stuff and has started me thinking about a lot of things. Thank you for taking the time to share it. Very much appreciated.

[@plankton199]

Thank you for another excellent video.

[@alera520]

This was soo helpful! It’s exactly what I’m going through too

[@DoobToke]

Thanks Scott, i needed to hear this.

[@dennis-qu7bs]

Wow, this is spot on! Thanks 🎉

[@markh5137]

Impactful. Thanks!

[@Shininglight1234]

Great video. Thanks ❤

[@108u9]

It’s indeed prudent and a good idea to have guardrails and some best practices in mind. Yet by the same token the red flagging that the video speaks to can raise the “fear factor” of ‘Trauma’. IMO we are our memories, stories, emotions, thoughts etc. (all of which ‘Trauma’ implicates) though we are not only our memories, stories, emotions, thoughts etc. IMO it’s worth moving towards a sense, a place in us where we can come alongside our ‘Trauma’ history/story; to not be tepid, tentative, avoidant, to live in vain of trying to structure some absolute control. In ways, we can never be ready enough, we can’t ever find a perfect day to look into ourselves (not least that we all have finite mortal lives). IMO psychotherapy cannot be, or perhaps more moderately phrased, is best not practiced at a distance. IMO we must at some point, make the choice to come close (for the psychotherapist to come close to the client’s experiences, for us to come close to our experiences, the meanings we do give them, the sensations we do feel. All to say, wrestling with ‘Trauma’ IMO doesn’t look like stringing together the perfect sequence gathered from best practices. That if only we’d do it just right, it will all be ok. Rather than perhaps that ‘Trauma’ is to be feared, we see it as an open opportunity

[@johnhillescobar]

A much needed video. Thanks so much.

[@sammythehamster9093]

I was speaking to Health and Well being advisor who said I could have trauma based issues. I find CBT doesn't work for times when I have feel depressed. I have been battling depression and anxiety for some time since start of September it has become worse. Only good new is that referral came back I'll be starting DBT Dialectic based therapy in new year.

[@GennaroNatale-i9n]

I will never again under any circumstances write anywhere on the Internet ( expecially on Social Media ) anything that may sound remotely threatening towards anybody. I wrote that post on my Facebook Diary without thinking at the consequences. In reality it wasn’t my intention to threaten or scare anyone. It was just a way for me to vent about what happened. I have been very stupid to write that. I have been hurting for over a decade now. I have changed and I have learned my lesson. I please ask for forgiveness and to be released from this brain torture I live with please.

[@MartoSkorpiona]

Don't sweat it too much bro, good way to make amends :D

[@clara3322]

This was extremely good.

[@malindagoldman1175]

Thanks but I have a question like 20 yrs later there was my abuser and I had a complete break down shaking crying physical reactions for days Bam 😢 but I'm Here It's Now I'm OK Best phrase I've Ever gotten from domestic violence groups therapy Thanks Dr Scott

[@theresaparodi6027]

Thank you Dr Eilers.

[@skankskunk-o8m]

Thanks!

[@amar129w2]

Great video! I know you suggest getting out of the environments, if you can't completely escape triggering situations, when that's not financially possible yet, is EMDR or another modality top priority? Thanks!

[@CrankieAntie]

I stay insanely busy. Always doing something. My mind is always going. My mind is a minefield. The world isn't safe. Life happens ongoing for women.

[@ladybird169]

Trouble with making new memories is it creates new trauma.

[@DJOHER111]

Absolutely true👍👍😇♥️♥️♥️

[@johnnewell5025]

Thanks, Scott. If you are comfortable doing so, do you have any comments on EMDR as a therapeutic approach to PTSD/trauma that originated during early childhood (~ five YO)?

[@Dorito_Djinn]

I just can't find a therapist that feels right for me to work through my trauma. Just saw my doctor to try a new med and she recommended I see one. Not sure what to do as most are liberal and I don't feel comfortable with any of them and talking about the things that bother me. I was doing better for a bit but now I'm struggling again. I can't get away from everything that reminds me of my trauma, I'm stuck. The memories just keep resurfacing daily and I constantly feel worn out like I need to rest but I can't. Chest has been bothering me recently and I think I'll probably have a heart attack sooner or later and that'll be it.

[@evadebruijn]

If the political affiliation of your therapist is of THAT much importance sure there are ways to find one that suits your preference. I take it these church affiliated therapists are more likely to hold the conservative views, if that is what you meant with liberal anyway.

[@Dorito_Djinn]

@@evadebruijn Yeah, all the conservative therapists in my area are filled up and I don't feel comfortable doing online therapy so I'm stuck waiting to get in. I'm actually aiming to get into a church affiliated therapist but they're not taking new patients until at least next year. Everyone is mentally ill or struggling these days it seems. Who knows, maybe this new med will start working and things will get better.

[@markusbaumgartner9266]

That's so strange to me as a European... How would I even know what affiliation a therapist has?

[@Dorito_Djinn]

@@markusbaumgartner9266 Because the therapy center is specifically a christian one and they advertise it as such

[@zoniemom153]

This is a good video but I don’t think you can talk about PTSD without talking about C-PTSD. From what I see in the comments, others are asking about this distinction as well.

[@downtostandup]

"I dont think" ... "without" ... well maybe he will make another video. But let's be careful about using certain words, mm-k. Thanks

[@leahamylore]

The points here are very much for C-PTSD.. perhaps even more so in some areas… He didn’t say the term, but the theories and suggestions all apply 100%… I have C-PTSD.

[@zoniemom153]

@@leahamylore Thank you for your comment! I agree, I think that all of these steps are applicable to C-PTSD as well.

[@seriouscat2231]

@@downtostandup, you be as careful as you want to. What others do is none of your business.

[@jakob__emanuel]

Hi Dr Eilers. Excellent video. Do you by any chance do online consultations?

[@user-jl9bq3jk3s]

Thx, doctor. No idea if what I have is trauma, but it can be. Quite interesting that beyond triggering I don't feel the box being opened much.. hmm..

[@Ежи-ю4ч]

Thank you for the video ❤ What do you think about exposure therapy for trauma? Honestly I can’t imagine how it is supposed to work but I am still interested 👀

[@lindateeter2363]

Is trauma related in any way to the increase in autoimmune conditions?

[@nathalievandijk]

for me? hell yes.

[@kateuli8481]

This gentleman seems to think so kzbin.infoX2Bgpl4wYvs?si=EMhT0C1CB_BhLevX

[@jacksheldon8566]

what you say is also applicable to battle depression.

[@aprild915]

Thank you

[@Victoria-c4n]

Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know” has a line that hit home - “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.”

[@orangeandslinky]

All that presents meditations stuff seemed religiously wrong to me.(I still think it is) but when you took religion totally out of it and spoke of "midbrain" for health of memory crap, I really liked it a lot. Now I can try it as I would do a push up or take a walk or something for health. Thanks.

[@dcat1730]

I think studies have shown that intergenerational trauma actually does lead to heritable epigenetic characteristics--which is fascinating (though strictly speaking as a condition that doesn't make ptsd itself genetic as you say)

[@jazminrodriguezmoro7705]

Awesome video ❤

[@universaltruth2025]

Something I find strange is that when I’m more active that normal (married, 3 kids, 2 pt jobs); I find it hard to feel relaxed enough for sleep so I get insomnia. I take medication to sleep and I get around 5-6 hours sleep most. I dink (m most & eat sugar relieve stress and get energy. Somethjng strange is that I tend to get compliments for how well I look during these times vs when I’m not as busy.

[@MsHwisprian]

Ah no wonder i stay busy

[@Alice_Walker]

Hey Doc, I'd really like to get a copy of your book but I refuse to give money to Amazon. Struggling to find it anywhere else on the internet. Any clues?

[@DrScottEilers]

Some philistines are selling it on eBay

[@Alice_Walker]

@DrScottEilers thank you 😊

[@revolutionary_evolution]

Can we talk more about substance withdrawal? I know there are many types, but if someone wanted to truly fill that void but can't people a lot, how would you suggest they start?

[@Onthe9thlife3730]

Haven't they shown recently that cell memories store things for like 50 generations as a survival mechanism, stress would trigger that, but would purely physical stressors do so? it's fairly recent discovery though so not much of it has been worked out. Basically I'm just wondering if there is a predisposition towards pstd/cpstd because of this factor.

[@Onthe9thlife3730]

I think that part of the reason we get drawn to trauma things related to our trauma is the brain/body trying to get more information about the situation so it can try and fix it. The more variations of it the easier it is for the brain to identify it and then once identified it can work out solutions. We do have a predisposition when in fear to go for what we know/have already experienced though so that would play in too. The issue then is 1 it's hard to find solutions when stuck inside the problem and 2 too much data can make it hard to see the small bits and 3 awareness of the core issue is hard to notice to begin with, especially if a symptom/coping mechanism is common but the core situation isn't.

[@Onthe9thlife3730]

Time stamping to come watch the rest later 8:15

[@TeamAwesomeDad]

It's called epigenetics. There is ZERO proof it is real. The pseudo-scientists and grifters will try to tell you it's real. Nope

[@attheranch873]

I’m wondering about this. I think we do pick up on our parents attitudes and beliefs that came from their trauma. So it’s developmental rather than genetic.

[@kathleenbigsmoke-mitchell4898]

I think i forgot to close my box 😢