Why People with ADHD Procrastinate

[@sarahk.466]

There are those that say ADHD is simply an excuse for being lazy. But how many "lazy" people find themselves in tears and full of self hatred because they can not change about themselves what they want to change so desperately?

[@donnaanderson2846]

This is precisely why I’m going to share this on all my social media platforms! I’m 60, and am well aware of the many ways that my generation, and those before mine, haven’t listened to much, if any scientific information on ADHD. It’s cruel, to have information available, yet still condemn people when they have a real issue.

[@markmuller7962]

I mean wanting to do something 200% with all your heart, even the simplest thing and not being able to do it... Calling it laziness is the most boomerish thing I've heard in my life

[@YOUNIVERSE100]

I feel u.

[@donnaanderson2846]

Each generation, has societal baggage, that the next generations will break away from. Individuals of a generation, had that baggage imposed on them, usually by the status quo. As a boomer, on the late end, I have less imposition of that social baggage, than my older siblings. I think the easiest path forward, to better understanding of a healthier society, is a level of connection to each other. I’m doing my part to help those my age, and older, to continue to evolve, while also better understanding the things that hindered their ability to see evolving as a threat.

[@markmuller7962]

@@Heinz57ish I'm sorry mate, me too "makes us brothers" - (rdr2) Edit: Ops, brother and sister I guess!

[@lexaj6886]

Another "fun" thing with ADD is knowing you need professional help, but can't motivate yourself enough to go to the tough part of finding a psychiatrist who actually has capacity for new patients.

[@DaveE99]

Often I find motivation is a matter of contemplating it long enough and just answering who what when where and most importantly how and why? Even if you answer how in different phases. That’s the key. Like if you can map it out concretely, and find your why? Or what you want to avoid in it, you can’t motivate your self. To an extent motivation is just a result of having a laid out plan ahead of you with a why attatched to it. And focusing on why you want can be helpful, but focusing on what your trying to avoid pain wise def motivates a lot too

[@patataum1757]

What is ADD?

[@DaveE99]

@@patataum1757 attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but it should technically be called Executive function developmental delay, because that’s actually what it is

[@lizhoward2070]

Thissss

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

Or trying to figure out how to go up to someone and say "hey, I think my brains broken and I'd like to do stimulants about it" without sounding like a drug seeker lmao that's what's kept me away, I don't want to be viewed that way when I'm genuinely just trying to get help. Can't imagine that would feel very good

[@Freem0m]

I added this to my “watch later” collection.

[@skankhunt420]

Yea, for many, many months, now I've finally watched it! Of course instead of doing the work, that is waiting for me... 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@mc-sp8zr]

KZbin just reminded me that I put this video in my "Watch Later" list last year. Maybe I'll watch it today. Maybe.

[@muazweirdo]

@Freem0m hi, time to watch it now. better take notes too. it's worth it.

[@efivip93]

Mee too, been sitting there for months. Now half way through the video and i have my breakfest warming up and am chasing a fly with a toy gun. This is not ok... 😅

[@EKJavi]

My watch later that I keep adding vids to HAS NOT been touched for years 😭😭😭

[@Danteztic]

"The need for urgency is why you work better under pressure." - As a university student with ADD, this one sentence just summarizes my cumulative experience with term papers. I have never finished one without having a nervous breakdown at some point because the deadline was only a few days off and I hadn't really started writing yet. Then I would just crank out the entire paper in two or three days and still make some corrections at the day of turning it in, race to the university to deliver it, and wonder why I had to stress myself so much instead of starting just a couple of days earlier. It's honestly just frustrating because it happened this way every single time.

[@therandomdickhead5744]

This is how I went through most things in school. I wish I could just start earlier but I never do.

[@Cicada-uv5se]

Do you have any way that helps you? I have very similar experiences where I have an essay or an assignment that I am given copious amounts out time to complete, but I only every start it until a couple days before it is due. It's honestly really annoying and since I haven't been diagnosed yet (even though I know I have ADHD) I can't take medicine. So any info would be helpful, thanks.

[@AkaruAbsolution]

Same, except when I tried to start early I noticed I spent a lot more time on assignments, and realized that I needed the sense of urgency to override my need to be a perfectionist. After I realized that I just accepted that this is the best way for me to work and stopped being stressed out about it. 🤷‍♀ For example, I'm guessing that you still managed to make your deadlines, sometimes at the very last second. So instead of stressing about it, why not start feeling confident that you are capable of working in this way?

[@beasterbunny217]

I had the same experience. I can't believe I went 4 years doing this same thing. I'm also learning that procrastinating doesn't go away once you go full-time either. Lots of work ahead of us.

[@lunatik9696]

After realizing this, I purposefully procrastinated b/c I did better work faster fighting a looming deadline.

[@RashidaB]

"Physically painful". It's affirming to know that there are people that understand that this is a real thing.

[@nyrdil]

This is the most apt description of me doing anything that does not really strongly intrest me.

[@BrettHoTep]

Such a weird sensation too. I want to concentrate on something but it can sometimes actually hurt.

[@Angerfisters]

I have ADHD and this exact description hit me hard. Everytime I try and explain this to people why im not motivated they just wont believe it.

[@nyrdil]

@@Angerfisters I have it to. Can be physically impossible to like... Fold my laundry or whatever. Might as well be trying to impale myself on a pike considering the mental and physical resistance i experience. Can procrastinate basic stuff for weeks. Thankfully i can handle it for work and more important stuff.

[@meneeya]

yep

[@visitingstatue69]

i feel like the word 'unmotivated' doesnt even come close to how it actually feels. i always relate the feeling as being similar to depression - you have no energy, care or willingness to do anything. everything and any task feels like such a heavy burden that once you do complete it, it feels more like a relief than an achievement

[@perseusarkouda]

I'm a professional wedding videographer and I'm just like that with video editing. I'm struggling to get it started to a point I have stomach ache. It gets better as I see progress in that particular job but it's always a struggle. It helped a lot bringing my gf to just be sitting besides me.

[@adamrandles4055]

Great comment, not sure if I have depression or adhd

[@perseusarkouda]

Neither do I. It would be nice to be diagnosed to know what you're dealing with but I believe we should just find ways to cope with it ourselves.

[@mildlymarvelous]

I have BOTH.

[@gabelincoln3608]

No purpose

[@caljaysoc]

“Almost physically painful” to break the inertia. HOLY CRAP! Yes! I’ve never been able to find the right words to describe that feeling; but that’s it. Thank you!

[@FerreTrip]

It's so true! I'm sitting here going, "I need to get working on dishes," and yet I'm just...sitting here. I don't want to work because it doesn't reward me as much as it does others. It takes a spoon just to get started (if you don't know what I mean, look up spoon theory).

[@SuLokify]

Depression is so so similar in that way too.

[@KhairulAnwar-mp8lo]

“Almost physically painful”. Exactly!

[@FlorentChardevel]

It’s always been physically painful for me to get out of bed, so I don’t know if that’s adhd but it sounds similar. I’m also usually very unmotivated for work and chores.

[@KhairulAnwar-mp8lo]

@@FlorentChardevel I suggest you get it checked out with the doctor. My schizophrenia also affects my motivation to do things.

[@RobespierreThePoof]

Just a tip to fellow ADHDers out there. My experience is that sometimes it's NOT the classic symptoms. In my case, i have had to learn that some of my wirst procrastination comes from very deeply set fears. The stimulation i found in other distractions became a way of avoiding those fears

[@LordSabbathiel]

Most of my failures were fear-based. In fact, even up to now in my mid-forties, I still struggle with anxiety and fear to get behind the wheel and simply drive. 🙃 I've never been married. I live day-to-day with lifelong regret. Unfortunately, I'm stuck with the kind of psychiatric care that only wants to keep me medicated and those meds don't actually help me succeed.

[@Beepbeep_its_treasure]

​@@LordSabbathielI'm sorry you're going through this. You should be thriving, not surviving. Can you speak to your health expert to reduce or change your medication? I believe in you x

[@Thedesertguy75]

Well said

[@allinaday9882]

Excellent point!😊

[@Alaska-Bush-Mom]

@@LordSabbathielVERY WELL SAID!

[@tigerpjm]

What kills me as an ADHD sufferer is the *inconsistency* of attention. I can have laser-like focus and the very next day find the very same thing that I was almost obsessively engaged with is tortuously boring. At work it has always been a massively limiting problem that no matter the treatment or strategy, there seems to be no way around.

[@hoodnationproductions]

Yeah same, I used to be on medication but stopped taking them a few years ago cause I found my own ways of coping with the issues. My advice to help you focus better and be in control of your ADHD is to stimulate your brain by listening to music which I find helps me quite a lot, doing something you like or meditating. Hopefully this helps you and good luck

[@janaj2748]

This is so ME! 😩

[@tigerpjm]

@@hoodnationproductions Thanks for the advice! Although I do take medication, those are precisely the strategies I use. To clarify, whilst ADHD has been massively limiting in my career, I have managed to find what works. It isn't brain surgery or rocket science but it pays well and the self-respect I've gained from being a stable employee is genuinely life-changing. That's not to say it's easy, but it's a lot easier.

[@TheMary0831]

Same, if I am "in the zone" I can chug along for hours. But if I'm not in that zone, it's nearly impossible to get there.

[@spamcan9208]

When I was a kid, I would get a magazine in the mail (remember those lol) and read it cover to cover in one sitting, and that includes the dumb stuff like people writing letters to the editor to complain lol. But surely if I can focus like that I should be able to do the same for anything else, right? Just "put your mind to it." Yeah, no gtfo

[@Itsrichardash]

My parents view all of these symptoms as being "lazy" and regularly used that term to describe my unmotivated behavior. Knowing that this can be related to my ADHD is helpful, but I still feel like it's because I'm "lazy". Thank you for making this video, I will be able to use it to work through these feelings of inadequacy.

[@Zappabain]

I now how that hurts. Best regards.

[@user-ms1ue8bd8r]

Yup. That was me growing up and still sometimes an issue with my spouse. ADHD is sorely misunderstood.

[@SelinaCat]

Definitely watch these videos then when it feels like that to help you reinforce this

[@aidasdiary]

Unfocused and lazy... Even though those words were always used to describe me as a child by my parents, teachers and other adults, no one suspected ADD or any neurological diversity... I internalized this so much, even if I know why this happens, I beat myself up for being lazy and making mistakes due to being unfocused... Hope therapy can help me

[@agneag]

So sorry to hear OMG 😢😢😢

[@darrenmillar2201]

I believe at least for adult adhd, chronic lack of motivation and procrastination is one of the most significant symptoms.

[@maritje4225]

I’d agree with this, as I’ve gotten older my adhd has become much, much more disruptive in my day to day life

[@brookekivi]

Completely agree. I’m 41 and the procrastination and lack of motivation is at an all time high.

[@sunnydaze2359]

@@brookekivi I never knew what ADHD was & when I finally looked it up I realize that with me in a nutshell ..

[@darrenmillar2201]

@@maritje4225 yea it hit me when the stress of responsibility peaked with kids, money, etc. I've always been very and constantly demotivated, but it wasn't such a big deal until middle age, especially when comparing to how far I've come compared to my peers, which relatively isn't far at all. I feel like I'm stuck in living my 20s.

[@darrenmillar2201]

@@brookekivi I'm 38 and inattentive subtype, it was never obvious to me I had adhd until recently. My aging brain and mid life crisis has not been a good combo. Been on meds now for a month and they have barely budged my motivation, I think there is a lot more to it than dopamine.

[@LuckyCharms777]

This explains why I even have difficulty motivating myself to do things I enjoy. It feels like it takes so much energy to start something that it’s not worth the effort. Having ADHD is unfortunate for many reasons, not least of which is the blow to your self-esteem for not being productive and accomplishing things. We really do internalize that we’re just lazy and/or a loser.

[@CrazyGaming-ig6qq]

Yes. I have found the most effective way is to have a kind of personal assistant that can help you organize and plan. Unfortunately that obviously require a whole person dedicating time for you, and therefore can be difficult to get access to. But it is so so helpful, if you can somehow manage to get such a "personal assistant". It can't be anyone though, the person has must be skilled and empathetic and never come across as berating you or shaming you for not doing enough.

[@ridetheapex]

Sounds like a person you would need to pay to get the results you are looking for.

[@CrazyGaming-ig6qq]

@@ridetheapex Yes. But in my country if you have a diagnosis you can get it as a right and it will be paid for by the authorities. But yes, these need to pay their bills too and there is only so much voluntary work they can do in a day.

[@phoenragon]

@@CrazyGaming-ig6qqyou can also have a friend or loved one do what’s called ‘body doubling.’ They work alongside you (on their own task) or just be with you while you work. Their presence helps keep you motivated and helps you refocus

[@CrazyGaming-ig6qq]

@@phoenragon That sounds totally plausible and I can confirm that it works, it's just not something I previously had consciously thought of. It's a funny mechanic and apparently it hadn't been an obvious fact (to me).

[@asdfssdfghgdfy5940]

The way I finally realised it wasn’t laziness is sometimes it’s just like, “brain says no”. I’m sitting there, I want to do it, but it’s just like bashing my head against a brick wall. 😊

[@bonnie3937]

Yes!! Sometimes I feel as if I hit a brick wall.

[@DaveE99]

Cognition “thinks we should do it, limbic brain hasn’t found motivational salience yet, why isn’t big enough”

[@bettyanne3057]

Before I knew about ADHD I described it as "I can't do the thing I want to do."

[@F1ve-seveN]

Spot on description That was me every single morning, even though I always wake up 30 mins early I still ended up 20 mins late to my class 😢

[@phrainphrainjugotoagleam595]

Like me trying to flee Oz, bitch, get outta bed and do 5 more admin things. Yeah, sure, still working on that. I have less than a week.

[@Nn-uh2kb]

I am so affected by ADHD I zoned out at least 10 times trying to make it through this video. After a rewatch, great insights

[@Catastropheshe]

I got zoned out into comments 😂😂😂

[@TheMinot60]

Yes.

[@themelancholyofgay3543]

i was distracted and my brain turned off listening

[@ecrin7065]

i kept playing and pausing to look into the comments💀

[@ch3rieam0ur]

thought i was the only one

[@fussyfissy]

Sometimes that lack of motivation can feel like an invisible wall only stopping you while everyone else passes right through it. Great video! Thanks Doc!

[@wmack5217]

Ooof! The accuracy in this comment gave me chills. Feels like I’m constantly trying to fight through an invisible barrier that no one else around me has to deal with

[@mr.andmrs.adorable2033]

So well said

[@chrthdestr]

And sometimes, do you have like a week or so where you kind of feel like everyone else, but very quickly return to normal? I'm trying to figure out why that happens so I can repeat it without any use of medication. It's like a week of clarity but it just falls apart as fast as it came.

[@hanamccarthy710]

@@chrthdestr I'm doing the same right now. I'm experimenting with meditation, self hypnosis and journalling so I can read the journal entries of the times it happens to try and figure out what was going on/what I was thinking etc...

[@chrthdestr]

​@@hanamccarthy710 Yep. I'm convinced it's possible to regulate a pattern and help make those periods more frequent. I'm obviously not a doctor, but that's just how I see it.

[@LG-Musique]

Who is here instead of starting THAT task? 😅

[@Ravnz51]

Me

[@LG-Musique]

@@Ravnz51 😂

[@ruftotherescue]

🙋🏻‍♀️

[@margaretmurphy3912]

Yo

[@sibby84]

😂😂 Me

[@twodays8041]

My classes being online KILLLED me. The “body doubling” brought out a “damn, I gotta beat out and be better than every person in this room.” Being alone in it is really hard. But I LOVE the timer idea, cause now I have to be better than the timer. Thank you for this video.

[@jasonlaney7047]

That's how i get motivated at work

[@sparkzartmd2205]

I have to body double to stay motivated

[@lukastemberger]

I don't know. I want to try the timer technique, but I feel like the 5 minute break will make me panic. What to do in those 5 minutes? I'll focus on waiting for the timer to go off to start working again... It sounds stressful :(

[@shockofthenew]

​@@lukastemberger yeah, I feel this way too. I think it's just not going to work for everyone. If I'm "taking a break" I'm going to start working on something I'm interested in, which will put me into hyperfocus and get my dopamine circuits working, so having to break away from that after 5 minutes and go back to something boring will be painful. As an alternative, I either take longer breaks (although that's only efficient if you can work for longer periods in between) or sometimes I will multitask between multiple chores and one fun thing which comes in short bursts - so for example I'll have a game running which has short 'rounds' of some kind with a clear break in between, then I'll set up one or two boring tasks I need to get done, and give myself the challenge of switching back and forth: complete one small step in task 1, one small step in task 2, then play a round of the game. Rinse and repeat until tasks are done. Put some kind of bigger reward at the end of finishing both tasks. I'm sure that won't work for everyone, but I find it helpful to have the novelty of changing tasks, the challenge of managing multiple streams of information, and the reward of regular game breaks kind of 'simulates' the dopamine reward which a neurotypical person might get for completing stages of their chore. Rather than setting timers for work and breaks (which I find stressful) it cuts the work into micro pieces, and the breaks only lasts as long as one round in game, which is a useful limitation. The game also gives me some continuous structure to rely on outside the overwhelming ennui of chores. Rather than "I need to keep working till my next scheduled break" it becomes "let's see how fast I can get this boring task done so I can play the next part of my game."

[@Chester-mz2ep]

@@shockofthenew I do exactly this, crazy, I thought I made up a plan that I only I had 😅

[@irisw8446]

Wow. I've never heard anyone else say "it's physically painful to break through the inertia to do it" and I feel so understood right now. This is how it is. I thought I was just imagining it, or making a big deal out of nothing. It's at its worst when I have to start an essay and I don't know how/where to start. I need a plan, but that's precisely the problem. Edit: I can see in the reactions that some of you feel heard and validated and I'm glad my reaction could help with that :) What also helped me is getting into Meyers Brigs personality type theory. It is based on Carl Jung's theory. It is not an alternative to DSM psychology, but to me it is a very helpful supplement for understanding myself and others better - outside of DSM-terms, which describe what is "wrong" with a person. If it's not for you, it's not for you, but it might help some of you like it did me. (Just one caveat: don't get obsessive about which personality type you are. Ultimately, that doesn't matter; it's all about understanding different cognitive functions.)

[@Christianguitar206]

Right?! This is so validating. I always told people that I’m at my best when I’m under stress and pressure. This is why I always thrive doing essays the day before. But it has burned me a few times. I try to start earlier but it feels almost impossible. Getting started has always been the most difficult thing for me. It’s just crazy how on point everything in this video is.

[@2345noni]

I relate to this comment so much. First i also felt like i was imagning when i Had an assignment to do and just trid to concentrate but just felt physically in my body that I can't. And also a lot of times i give up on doing somthing just becuse i dont know how to start and had no motivation... For example I have driving licence but I didn't drive for A few years and need to do some lessons to start driving again.I don't know how to start looking for a teacher in my area and put it on hold for like 2 years at list by now 😔.

[@mldrfan]

When she mentioned that feeling, I started crying. No one's ever explained that physical pain until now, and I've always felt that deep in my core, and just feeling completely immobilized. But I'd get even more frustrated because I wouldn't understand what the hell I was even experiencing because I didn't know this was a thing that's actually common with people with ADHD..... this video was beyond validating.

[@Google_remote]

i remember crying because i couldnt finish my essay unless it was it was right before the deadline.

[@CeeceeJacobsencc]

Same. I think people assume it's hyperbole when I say it's physically painful to force myself to do something, but I mean it literally

[@gabrielkehdi1412]

““Why can’t I just do this?” And it feels physically painful to break through the inertia” OMG, I feel so seen right now….. It’s some sort of painful desperation… feels like I’m about to implode somehow. And then the gates of self loathe breaks up and a torrent of self depreciation thoughts floods my mind. Thanks for the content!

[@shockofthenew]

I know this feeling too well. I hope learning more about ADHD can help ease up the self-loathing. It really isn't your fault. Better to know what it is and look for ways to work with it than blame yourself and spend energy hating and punishing yourself. Easier said than done sometimes, but knowledge is power!

[@faepan]

THIS, this comment, I felt it. It sometimes feels like I'm under some kind of spell I just can't break.

[@dowd4442]

So true it hurts

[@FuntimeFreddy831]

Literally same. It sucks so much

[@chriswilliams3203]

Speaking my mind right here

[@SkNazib]

Theres a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. Its not just a bunch of empty promises; its the real deal.

[@mrr7870]

After years of people and myself trying to "figure me out", this Doctor just specifically nailed every point of my struggles in 8 minutes. Im almost in tears.

[@1JBunny]

Meeee toooo!!! I actually broke down in tears. I never went to a doctor but instead was just conditioned as a child to think my lack of motivation and procrastination was lazy and that my difficulty to focus was just me choosing not to pay attention. But just as you said, this dr just nailed almost every single thing I’ve been struggling with and feeling terrible about. I feel seen/heard and I’ve never even met her. 🥲

[@kenpower888]

Yep. 😢

[@zac2877]

thats funny Mr. R.....the SAME THING here bro, i started watching this it made me get teary eyed realize that ....THERE IS AN ANSWER AND IM NOT MESSED UP!!!! ;) amen Mr. R....glad to see your comment, God is Good bro,

[@sherylforsman8691]

I so can relate to this!

[@nirasheppard6250]

Big hugs to you. I can relate.

[@evanator3521]

The most annoying part of ADHD for me is the lack of focus, I love science, history, economics, etc. but if it isn’t a topic of it that I am absolutely fascinated with than I will inevitably end up doing something else the entire time, but then the next day spend ten hours straight reading

[@hystericallaughter2311]

scary accurate description of me. lol if it doesn't interest me im not in it at all

[@shagarumedic]

This is so true

[@The_Joestar]

That's so me! When I found out my favourite animals are parrots I've literally learned all species within 2 days! Meanwhile I can't focus on an 8 minute KZbin video about how to do that one annoying household task better 🤣

[@Buddlibubbli]

Damn, i guess we're all the same

[@doomedstruggler]

Very similar besides the reading. I cannot read for long periods of time without my mind wandering to other things

[@kiethbiasillo4678]

This explained a lot. Because I lose focus, get bored etc, I pursue new things to stimulate me endlessly. This is why I’m not called lazy, I’m ALWAYS doing something. But I have a hard time finishing anything. I have soooo many hobbies but can’t stick with one long enough to master it. I suffer at work by waiting last minute because I have no motivation to get it done. I always do though. Thanks for proving I have issues. Lol. It really does help to know.

[@kurt.3527]

YUP

[@TehAnimationSparxx]

same. I'm constantly doing something, but i can't seem to start work till the last minute and then spend all night finishing it, ruining my sleep cycle for the week, adding stress, disrupting my workout and daily routines. I always get my work done eventually and the quality is good ( I animate for a living), held down a job for years, but at the expense of my health, social life and other hobbies. Even when I start working, 70% of the time I get distracted by a random KZbin video rabbit holes about archaeology or politics or history or internet drama. I have so much useless info in my head. I think after years of thinking I was neurotypical, I need to get my ass to a psychiatrist and fix my shit. I've literally always worked like this since I was a child but never thought it's unhealthy till I graduated college at 22, when I actually needed to maintain my own schedule and meet deadlines to pay the bills. I'm someone who now at 24 still pulls all nighters like I was 18 and my body slowly is showing it can't take that abuse anymore.

[@The541killer]

I have adhd also but it’s the getting started that is the hardest part to completing tasks… then when I get into it, it gets done. However, with long term things such as projects or listening to music, it starts to feel dull after a while of consistently keeping up with it.

[@ingrid5944]

Im just like that and I'm looking forward to search for help! I ALWAYS leave things for the last minute because it gives me that rush and then my brain simply works! When I have enough time to do it, I don't do it cause I don't feel motivated! I have lots of trouble here where I work at and my boss is talking to me all the time about me not getting to work on time.. my coworkers have told me a lot that my problem is the cell phone, that I use it too much, and I know there's right. I have done my work better when I leave my phone aside (I can't see notifications). Like... I had so many trouble in my life regarding not beih on time and procrastinating that I just can't write all here or else I would write the bible haha But everyone knows me as the person who's an airhead, who's clumsy... Whenever I do something wrong, people (my family, friends, coworkers) say "Ohh that's just Ingrid being Ingrid" but not in a positive way. I'm crung right now cause I don't like being like that. I feel dumb, I feel useless, and I do lot of stuff to prove everyone around me that I'm smart, that I'm proactive, that I like to make things then best as I can, like a way to prove everyone that I'm not a failure.. and I feel lots of times I am a failure... I just know that I need to do something and search for an answer so then I can prove everyone that It's not my fault, it's just that I'm dofferent and that I don't do those things because I want to, it just happens... I'm tired.. I know I'm smart and intelligent, everyone compliments me for being smar, but I just don't want to be just smart, I want to start and finish things. I want to graduate in college, I want to show everyone that I can do it! I'm 28 and I'm still not graduated and that makes me feel ashamed of myself cause I know I'm intelligent and I can do WAY MORE! I learn things by myself, I learned english by myself, I learned how to swim by myself, I learned to walk on a bike by myself, I'm creative, I'm communicative, I express myself well, but now I'm an adult, I need a good job, I need to complete tasks, I need to get to work on time or else my boss will fire me, I need money, you know??? I want my own house, I want my own family, I don't want to be a failure. I just need to sort some things out. I ask God always to help me fo what I got to do and don't waste more time. I just want to succeed in whatever I do. I know I have a lot to offer but most of the time I just don't know how to get there.. I mean, I KNOW, I just can't follow the whole process... I'm crying a lot typing this right now. It's good to vent out. Thanks. I hope all of you can achieve your dreams and be happy with who you are! ❤

[@Candolad]

That's me exactly !

[@DandWhatsHappenin]

I started crying, thank you for explaining this and being so caring. It’s so hard to be taken seriously, and to see someone describe me to a T, with such compassion, makes me feel like things will get better

[@elizabethsather3197]

Made me cry too!! Is so frustrating when are asked what is wrong and then no one takes you serious and are labeled as a hypochondriac that's just wanting attention😢

[@briobarb8525]

They will get better, hon. Believe in yourself...I believe in You!!! Love Grandma! ❤

[@briobarb8525]

​@@elizabethsather3197Forget them Elizabeth. I believe in you! You got this honey. Keep going. Love Grandma. ❤

[@bluedingo1186]

Growing up, I was called "lazy" and "selfish" constantly, even after I was diagnosed with ADHD (and then not medicated) in 7th grade. My mom could never understand even with the doctor spelling it out for her. Had I been properly treated from the get-go, I truly feel my future would have been brighter and more stable.

[@thenamesallex]

Same here. I was diagnosed at 9 (4th grade) and till this day my mom still calls me lazy.

[@GetOffUrPhone]

I was recently diagnosed at 22. One of my teachers in highschool was only diagnosed at 40. The feeling of "what if" isn't going to change... Hope you're doing better now though

[@Jyxero]

32 here... While I too could have a brighter future, I can say with confidence that thinking on "what if" is only good for fanfic material (lol), so cheer up, and face the storm (that is approaching...) of life, you're going to get through one way or the other and be stronger each time

[@bluedingo1186]

@@Jyxero I agree. I was finally properly medicated at 34 and I finally feel I have some control over my life.

[@Jyxero]

@@bluedingo1186 Well... I didn't meant through medication, but what matters is that you feel empowered, and that feeling after a so long slumber is unforgettable; and that is another reason to never put the gloves off

[@vivianho7252]

It's particularly galling because people see what we can do when we're hyperfocused, but what they don't realize is that is *not* a sustainable or particularly controllable state AT ALL. And then they get disappointed when you fail because they expected you to perform the same way with no support 100% of the time.

[@deecee7042]

Is there any way to bring hyper focus back? Working from home at a low stress company with weak deadlines has me blaming myself as lazy for not getting anything done

[@benenwren4110]

This hurts so much. When I'm emersed in something I care about, like a special interest, I can get massive amounts of work done and learn new skills quickly. But if the motivation isn't there I'm less than useless and can't do anything without step-by-step instructions and constant companionship/encouragement.

[@stevencooke6451]

Any sort of non-physcially obvious disorder tends to invite skepticism, if not downright dismissal.

[@lilyk7326]

You articulated my life perfectly

[@nandishsenpai4646]

@chewiirull dude I relate to this soo much...I'm feeling the same..I don't know what to do now

[@coolusernameftw7055]

Wow... When she talked about how it can almost be physically painful to get started on tasks, I actually started getting teary eyed... My lack of motivation is easily what I hate most about myself and what I'd give just about anything to change. I've honestly never considered that it might be related to my ADHD but everything she said made almost TOO much sense to me lol I know there's no "quick fix" to this kind of issue, but I'm definitely thinking some of her suggestions will be a good place to start 🤞

[@KryssLaBryn]

You should definitely see about getting assessed for ADHD then, and also may add well for autism since they're so commonly comorbid :)

[@stevencooke6451]

I've felt sick to the stomach imagining doing a tedious task. Or something that I think will take a long time.

[@IamRocque]

I’ve never considered it either but lately I’ve realized a few things about me are beginning to align and I think it’s time to get accessed.

[@IKYFL238]

I felt the same way & went to get tested. Answered SO many questions I had! I would, also, be close to tears knowing I had to do something I felt would be tedious & time consuming. I would never do it, or if I HAD to do it, would wait until the absolute last minute & stress myself out...and for what? I just could not do it. This has been pure hell until I was diagnosed & am learning ways to deal with this. Great video!

[@judica8873]

Those tips really do work. It's a tough deal, this ADHD thing, please don't be hard on yourself. You have no shortcomings & you'll never be a failure. If you're older like I am, one can see the comic side of trying to function while not knowing why you struggle to.

[@purposedparadise]

Thank you for this. I'm a 46 year old woman recently diagnosed after being misdiagnosed for years. I was told that ADHD looks different in women compared to symptoms in men. I used to thrive on writing college papers the night before they were due and still get As. However, at this age it's exhausting and part of my brain understands that it's not sustainable, or smart to continue procrastinating. I've taught myself to make lists, I drive a stick shift to keep me focused while driving, and I use self-talk to aggressively remind myself to finish a task before starting another. I start most projects early but don't enjoy it, at all. My doctor suggested mild medication but after all these years not knowing why I'd become the master of procrastinating, I'd rather be given skills that I can practice that add to strategies I already use. I appreciate the advice and will try your suggestions.

[@Cycology_Major]

It sounds like you’ve already acquired many physical tricks to get you going, so why not help yourself further with a little more (medication)? The difference can be stunning!

[@lateishajones9898]

Medicine and cognitive behavior therapy.

[@blacksheepaffect]

Have you tried exercise?

[@briobarb8525]

Good for you, hon. Keep going. Love, Grandma!

[@michellemccumbers7216]

Thank you so much!!! I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I suffered with procrastination all my life. I've been called "lazy", I've been yelled at, and accused of not caring. No one has ever explained procrastination so perfectly to me. This video answers my questions about why I procrastinate . I have felt isolated and oppressed because I didn't know "Why". I am so grateful for this video.

[@lindabruns6020]

I was never diagnosed but I know I have ADHD and I understand everything you have experienced.

[@Randor10]

I fit into the same category. I wasn’t diagnosed until i was in my early 40s.

[@kiyokowilkinson158]

@Michelle Mc cumbersome, I totally understand what your saying i in the same situation but wasn't diagnosed intill I was in my late 40's . Does it feel like nobody understands you when speaking to them too ? Is time a difficult thing for you as well ? Its non existential in my world now. I can be anywhere on time to save6 life . Just wanting to understand my situation better by talking to someone else with my same issues if possible . Thanks best of luck to you on your journey too BTW 🍀🍀🌿🌹⚘🤞🏼👊🏼

[@colleeneaster1221]

How do you go about getting the diagnosis? Will that only validate what I believe I already know or will a diagnosis help me further?

[@samuelcrowder2885]

@@colleeneaster1221 I too would love to know the answer to this question

[@biglex1380]

Talking about being “lazy” is what I think people think of me all the time because I do struggle with lack of motivation. I always do things that I think will make other people happy, which ends up not lasting long because it isn’t what I really think is the best for me. I relate to the novelty and impulsitivity 100% because I will get these “amazing” ideas in my head research (hyper fixate) end up spending money on whatever it is and then within a week forget about it/have that lack of motivation to continue. It ends up being a cycle of “well I better not do this because I know I am just gonna fail” and then I think of myself as lazy, lose confidence, lose trust from others and then kind of fall into a depressed state…until the next “amazing” idea comes through. I feel like I learn something new about ADHD everyday, that makes so much sense and I wish others could understand the struggles we go through. Because we do try really hard on certain things but it ends up not being enough for those we are trying to impress or get that gratification from. I have relationship issues because I am not “motivated enough” I don’t “think about the future enough” but that’s because if I don’t put my energy into what I am doing in the present then it only gets worse. Last thing, I ask for patience but I don’t know how much patience is allowed. I need to do things on my own time, but then I don’t feel like I am going fast enough, or I am where I’m supposed to be. Wanted to share because if others are going through the same thing you are not alone, and also just getting out of my system is helpful. Thanks.

[@choff01]

That is the story of my life right there. I could not have summed it up better. Thanks for the post; it's nice to know it's not just me. Best of luck to you!

[@magicyellow7422]

Story of my life also, wish you all the best and hope we all get through this

[@warcow1]

I look around my room; an acoustic guitar that I want to get better at...eventually. A Coax + RJ45 faceplate for ethernet runs I was going to do until I found the pathway was blocked in the wall and I'd have to find a new solution. A multi-media keyboard for the home theater PC build that I'll finish once I run that ethernet, maybe. An under-desk pedal exerciser with 1 week of use. Boxes of stuff that I moved from my old house and haven't had any real reason to put it away. A replacement dryer vent cover that I should really install, but the temporary grate I put last week is still holding. A mailbox shield (people that get snowplows flying by at 60mph will understand) that I bought before the first snow, still in the box. and countless other items that I really want to finish up... some day.

[@hitzoneproductions7858]

You just described me precisely

[@no.999]

Thank you for posting that bro I feel you on that one are motivation is like a sugar rush we get all excited and hella motivated to do something than we crash it’s like a failed experiment but it’s deeper than that people like us have powerful minds start out the wound that’s why you come up with amazing ideas because are minds where are gifts but these oppressors do shit too us when we get out the wound because they know who we are and where not just there body we are electrical spiritual powerful being with the gift of creation in mind and we come to the planet too bring flavor to this dry ass planet because people do the same shit but we don’t we always do something different because are minds have connections to higher realms and dimension so wee can pull the from up to down here on this planet it gets real deep that’s why the doctor give every baby shots so us highly advanced spiritual beings won’t change this demonic mental slavery world we live in because think about if you where not diagnose with that you all would be like a scientist creating crazy shit people never seen before this shit is deep asf subscribe to my KZbin Channel I’m gonna make a KZbin videos on the real deep reason why you where diagnose Peace in love to all the adhd warriors in this bitch cuz we really special you just don’t know cuz nobody told you and you don’t know who you are you get gaslighted and basically bullied for not being like everybody else or doing things like everybody else you gotta look at it like you basically had to be handicapped and hold weights on you like Lee from Naruto because as soon as you take them off you would and will fuck shit uppppp and it would be unfair to those around you because your that advanced 😂 stop playing with yourself cuz you really like that you got real super powers enough to destroy the system 😂🤣🛸✨💪🏾

[@helenhealing]

This made me want to cry… I’ve been called lazy, and I know I’m NOT motivated to do much, unless it’s urgent or dire. I’m always doing the bare minimum in life, preferring to day dream. I’m financially comfortable and always have been….. I don’t struggle but my mental state drives people crazy, then I feel guilty that I can’t make myself care or super achieve. I’ve never considered brain chemistry. I know I have SOOOO much I could accomplish or tasks I need to get done, but I can’t figure out how to be motivated until shits gonna hit the fan. It’s the only way I know.

[@thenameidk3168]

Haven't watched the video with sound yet but I have adhd and bipolar me and you are lazy but ima be crazy enough to get off my ass never stop

[@420champion4]

Try amphetamines. They are great for getting things done. They are used best when not taking them everyday or at night.

[@helenhealing]

@@420champion4 I do! Adderal is a miracle drug.

[@Faye-jewel]

Until adderall doesn’t help as much

[@helenhealing]

@@Faye-jewel right. And then I go off it, and sleep for 14 hours a day , double up on coffee. Morph into my couch. Then after a couple of months, I take an adderal and the magical roller coaster of my brain chemistry starts again.

[@JohnGeorge-pw2xo]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

[@MorrisBasar-jm9lc]

No doubts shrooms are 100% blessings from nature. Indeed nature's little miracles

[@ErnestoHorner88]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

[@CathieGomez-mp8sk]

Hey! Yes Mr.medmushies

[@DonnDenisse]

Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!

[@Owemruther-hk4zn]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@Tatodobien]

In more than 30 years of life, I was never able to sit and study for exams until the last possible moment, losing sleep for the night and causing myself a lot of stress, both physical and mental. Interestingly enough, the results are usually good. I really wish I could just be able to find actual motivation and skip the stress and anxiety of knowing that I'm delaying something inevitable.

[@ukkrmoedr]

I also never managed to study for tests or tasks i had to redo my year twice because i had adhd. It's really hard for me to sleep, I usually sleep around 3am.

[@ZentaBon]

What if you embrace your process? Would the anxiety dissolve until it's nearly time?

[@Tatodobien]

@@ZentaBon it was costly but I’ve learnt to understand and embrace it. I’ve failed a few university careers on the way. The thing is that sometimes the stakes are way too high and it’s just not worth it. And as much as I trust myself and the process, risking my job or my studies due to an unmanageable lack of motivation tends to be stressful.

[@Nomanomayæy]

@@ZentaBon there's really nothing you want to embrace about starting to format your bachelors thesis at 4 in the morning the day before you hand it in and never having proof read it in any serious way. I got a good grade but this stress is just not worth anything in any way.

[@charlesajones77]

Same. I studied computer science in college and I almost always waited until the night before a project was due to start working on it, usually requiring me to work through the night. I still got straight A's. Except for one course that I dropped out of because I couldn't get the program to work at all and it wouldn't have been worth the trouble trying to recover from that (I later retook the course and got an A).

[@eLLcartoons]

🔥🔥🔥 Thank you so much for this video. People URGENTLY need awareness on ADHD so they can know that it’s not their fault ❤️ This world is built to make people like us feel ashamed of ourselves, and it’s not okay. Gotta stick to our passions and prove them wrong.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome! I’m so glad it was helpful

[@WebkinzLiker264]

You got that right! ADHD can be a great tool when you're working on your passions! Also love your vids Ell.

[@mermaiddiyartist8119]

Exactly!!! I still struggle with this.

[@Kusanagi1990]

True

[@mahatmaniggandhi2898]

if i knew i had ADHD before going to university my life wouldve been much better

[@sierrafairbanks7776]

When I became an adult, I learned that these little quirks I had were attributed to my ADHD. I was diagnosed at 5 and have never taken medication. There was this idea in my family that it just went away as I grew up. But having gone through extensive therapy, I have learned that many of these problems I have, come as a symptom of ADHD, MDD, and anxiety. And when I try to point this out to the people around me, basically my family, I get hit with dismissive, apathetic, or just straight-up rude comments. And it fucking hurts. Like I finally understand 'what's wrong with me,' and I try to defend myself using legit diagnoses I have, but they'd rather believe that im just loud, impulsive, lazy, and inconsiderate. I am just so tired of being dismissed and told that my feelings/experiences aren't what they are. "You dont have ADHD anymore; you're just lazy." "You dont have depression; you take showers." "You dont need medication; you're fine stop being dramatic." "You dont have social anxiety. You were so outgoing as a kid." "You dont have.....you're just......" I dream of a day when people stop telling me what im experiencing and feeling and just say, "wow, Sierra, I didn't know you were experiencing that." I dont even need them to offer love or support. I just want validation. I want to be heard.

[@tinam761]

I didn’t find out I had ADD/ADHD until I was in my early 40’s. I struggle too with some people close to me understanding these are real issues I struggle with EVERY day and that I do try strategies…. I still struggle though. I had always thought there was just something wrong with me. I rarely take meds. When I do, they do help. I tray to save them for difficult days at work.

[@oliviachipperfield6029]

Having your issues trivialized and poo-poo'd is so frustrating. I think it makes it so much worse.

[@neris7835]

@@nurselunaaudio3758 I think another possibility is they (the family/parents) might not want to accept that they did not do everything they could have to make Sierra’s life easier. If they accept that there was something actually “wrong” with Sierra/there was an actual medical condition from childhood, and they didn’t do anything to help support her, that makes them bad or neglectful parents/family. If she is “just lazy” instead, they can maintain the feeling that they’re morally good people and Sierra’s failures or suffering isn’t their fault/a result of their neglectful behavior.

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

I gave up on "validation" a long time ago... Determined I'd embrace myself "the asshole" and congratulate the parents for raising an asshole like me... I got lucky enough... Somehow I managed my way through Navy bootcamp and a 4 year enlistment. I can negotiate life and I've stayed out of trouble... I can find money when I need it. My hat's off to my brother, who got a couple degrees in college... Chemical Engineering for one... so the guy knows how to focus and follow through, while I... well... I'd rather be riding my motorcycle than just about anything else... At least, I CAN still ride it like I stole the damn thing and get 60+ miles to the gallon, go anywhere and do about anything I want to do. The gig economy makes it a little easier in some ways to get work when I need to... take care of ME the rest of the time. AND well... if they can't accept me for who and what I am... let them f*** themselves, because I ain't even going to give them that satisfaction. ;o)

[@WalliFrog]

@@nurselunaaudio3758 my dad has adhd and fibromyalger and ain't that the truth! The amount of times he's been dismissed and belittled even on the brink of death in the hospital because he self medicated in the past and now "he's only after drugs" "he's only trying to get something" "he's a compulsive liar" so he just doesn't speak up when things are wrong. I suspect I might have autism and adhd and I'm very lucky to have a parent like him who actually understands.

[@user-iz9yc3rg5e]

I actually feel "accomplished" when I do something that most people take for granted. Folding clothes and putting them away, cutting the grass, vacuuming.

[@DJ-rl2rc]

I thought the "physically painful" part was just my excuse until my ADHD coach said it was a common feeling by those diagnosed with adhd . You just gave me confirmation that is what I actually feel... just what I described.

[@dziugast7454]

havent been diagnosed yet almost all of the symptoms suit me. Especially the physically painful part

[@DJ-rl2rc]

@@dziugast7454 diagnosis is a good thing to try for. Combination Treatment if meds are indicated Along WITH coaching or some kind of therapy seems to be key for many

[@dziugast7454]

@@DJ-rl2rc Thanks for advice

[@rf5963]

I sooo related to her using the words "physically painful" to describe the thought of having to get something done. I'm so tired of my family looking at me like I'm lazy and saying, "It's not THAT hard!" It hurts when you really need them to support you and understand but they just look at you like a loser. I wish they could switch brains with me for a day, maybe then they'd believe..

[@jeffpashley]

I feel you, RF. Nevertheless, we’ve gotta get shit done. Work on it. Whether our family/friends/employers don’t get it doesn’t help us, ultimately. We’ve gotta get started sooner than the “last minute.” We can. I can. I do (not always; but I’m getting better at it). You can. Do it. One task at a time. Hang in there!

[@kona3881]

@@jeffpashley i mean it does make an immense difference when neurotypicals, family and employers, put the effort in to understand your disability instead of diminishing or punishing (+firing) you for it……..

[@Scott-zm8ei]

@kona while a greater understanding of anything is preferable to less, people cannot depend on others having the time, ability, or inclination to understand the specifics of every issue that affects humanity. We focus on issues that are important to us, but no one has the ability to comprehend it all, which is why it is important to embrace the changes you can make to deal with the challenges of ADHD. It is a struggle, but it is worth it. I say this after living five decades with undiagnosed ADHD and obtaining two graduate degrees. You can do it!

[@rf5963]

I think a lot of it is depression and anxiety. I am seeing a therapist and am on 3 different psychiatric meds but so far I can't seem to climb my way out of it. Update 6/13/22 : My Dr. started me on Abilify a few weeks ago. It's been like night and day, and it started working within days. I have more energy, I'm getting more things done, my attitude is more positive.. the sunny weather may have something to do with it too.

[@ryo-kai8587]

@@rf5963 Unfortunately, I think being ADHD in a world built for neurotypicals is the perfect recipe for depression and anxiety. I hope we can both figure it out, sincerely. You're not alone in the world, no matter how much it feels like it sometimes.

[@quirkyviper]

I could cry watching this. The struggle itself in addition to the shame is REAL. I knew these were parts of ADHD but there's some extra level of reassurance that comes from being able to describe the way the process *should* work in medical terms rather than just struggling to explain what isn't working in regular/feeling terms. I guess it feels more credible especially if you're already feeling like ppl don't believe you or think it's a normal "slump" or case of the blues that every gets now and then. Thank you!

[@amazincrypto3929]

Hi can we connect on socials?

[@LachelleRenness]

Same sis!!! Like this is what’s wrong with me!

[@audiolatte]

Same here, I struggle with all those things but I never got diagnosed for ADHD. But after watching this video I'm almost 100% sure now. It's truly crippling

[@raymeester7883]

You need to meet a professional first.

[@rjohnson1986rj]

My son is 11 the sweetest ever but I really feel like this is his problem he'd rather pick at his skin instead of school workout I've been in fear of putting him on meds he haven't been diagnosed but I really need to squeeze him a visit with a therapist 😔

[@MathewWoodard]

I started the process of getting a diagnosis and didn’t finish it until a year later. It was also my third attempt. I finally got diagnosed (not a surprise), medicated (helpful but not a cure), and it’s a constant struggle. The pomodoro technique has worked for me, as has seeking out information like this to better understand my condition and get tips to help manage it. Don’t give up!

[@bonnies84]

Diagnosed at 36. Spent my whole life being told by my mother that I was lazy, immature, unreliable and irresponsible. Now I'm trying to reconcile out my Inner Critic so that I can learn to not tear myself down for the slightest thing I don't succeed immediately at. Hang in there guys, we're all gonna get there eventually xx

[@Bos_Meong]

now everything makes sense. I wish theres doctor that can diagonse adhd in my country.i afraid such thing are rare and they probably just gonna ridicule me

[@maximelussier25]

Same here! Don't give up!

[@vipersnake94]

Just because you can put a name to it doesnt mean its suddenly okay. We're still lazy lol Calling it ADHD doesnt mean all the sudden youre not lazy

[@kadeelacayo4806]

I’ve never been diagnosed but I know I have it . Due to my symptoms and how I react to certain medications

[@bonnies84]

@@vipersnake94 It's not about being 'lazy' though, lazy has intent. Unfortunately, ADHD can be the sheer inability to move to the place to do the thing you need to do. Hubby and 9 both have the type of ADHD where they do. Not. STOP. I get exhausted just trying to keep up with them both! I, on the other hand, can hyperfocus like nobody's business, and finished a 6-12 month long course in 3 weeks. During that time I would have to set alarms to remind me eat lunch and cook dinner. I have a permanent alarm on my phone to remind me to stop what I'm doing and go pick the kids up from school or I will forget what time it is and be late. I'll sit there, with whatever I'm focusing on at the time and my brain will say 'hey, I need to go and do x', then 15 minutes later I'll realise I'm still doing the hyperfocus thing. Zero intent to not do the thing I need to, yet my body will not follow my brain's instructions. As I said, hubby has the other thing and may have 87 projects on the go but he gets up at 4am, goes to work, comes home, potters around with a bunch of stuff, I interrupt him to come and eat dinner, then he'll go back out and mess around some more with whatever it is that catches his eye until he finally crashes out from sheer exhaustion at whatever time it is. I've taken to carb-loading him at dinner time, because with a full belly he'll pretty much hit the wall after dinner and sleep sooner, which means more rest, because he'll do exactly the same thing the next day, ad infinitum.

[@alex10680]

The irony is that some people with ADHD watching this, don't have the attention span to watch the whole video :D. Besides that, the she is very informative and has made me watch more of her vids.

[@jameshydes6499]

😅 I was just thinking the exact same thing. I got to about 3 minutes in till I started reading the comments 🤯

[@slatsgrobneck7515]

yes, that was me

[@mrs.mercie9879]

I have Learned if u speed up the video it’s easier to not get bored. 😑

[@enkiimuto1041]

it took me 2 weeks to watch this video and now i only did so by using the 2x speed. Nightcore doctor is really instructive

[@jamieleigh5805]

I actually sped up the playback speed because I thought 8 mins would be too long

[@MyNamesChai]

One of the best videos I've seen that explains inattentive ADHD. Thank you. Saving this and sending it to people in my life who don't understand how my brain functions

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thank you! So glad to connects the dots for you and anyone else who needs to understand. Thanks for sharing it

[@gulnarkhan9629]

Yeah I've done this as well but I haven't had a professional diagnosis for adhd yet but I do relate to a lot of the symptoms like concentration and attention

[@landedpainter2752]

@@DrTraceyMarks i have adhd and this explains everything thank you

[@750count]

I really appreciate your content This one hits home with me It's great to have some practical tips to work through it

[@mgvectors]

@@DrTraceyMarks likewise, this is really helpful. sending it to my parents.

[@Jonathan-ck2nd]

i keep trying to apply for college for 5 years now… i keep getting overwhelmed, confused, and it feels like a mountain of tasks which i’m sure it’s not but hearing you explain it out like this really helps me bc now if i understand it, i can overcome it. Thank you :)

[@carpdirector6836]

I haven’t heard the term “body doubling” in this respect before, but I now realize that it works for me. I’ve noticed over the years, even before I was diagnosed with ADHD, that I’m much more productive when my husband is motivated to get stuff done. But when his mental health has him playing computer games all day, it’s especially difficult for me to resist the siren call of my favorite games, too.

[@MazTheMeh16]

Ahhhh feeling called out It's the same for me and my BF.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Oh wow ty for speaking on this I relate so much.

[@AnimeRayanne]

Might explain why I was able to work so hard one summer with my mom to get rid of old stuff and clean up the house, kinda. Unfortunately she's usually just as unmotivated as me...

[@Darth_Bateman]

So you guys ever hear of Elden Ring?

[@bonniespruin6369]

I feel the same way! It's hard to houseclean if no one else is. I'll have to check out the body doubling. I listen to podcasts when doing dishes. It helps. I listen to Clutter Fairy (Gayle Goddard) or A Slob Comes Clean (Dana K. White). I've never been diagnosed, but my son has been. As time goes on, I find more and more reasons to think I have it.

[@ghastlyashley]

It's exhausting to constantly overcome the mental blocks for tasks when there is no motivation. The funny thing about ADHD motivation and laziness is that you can be completely fine doing something "the hard way," because setting up "the easy way" involves steps that for some reason are overwhelming, no matter how simple. It's very frustrating to always be told you're doing something the wrong way, because you know that if you stop doing it that way, it just won't get done.

[@numbblackpicture]

Damn.. that sounds too familiar.

[@liljarri7495]

I thought I was the only one that experiences this

[@jonaza2105]

As someone who is currently demotivated on writing a paper due to the insane restrictive step-plan my mentor is imposing on me, I have been screaming internally for about a month and am starting to loathe even contacting them.

[@sharonsabu365]

Can relate

[@nickpurdy69]

I still request to be paid by a check that I physically take to the bank to deposit or cash. I cannot just set up direct deposit because I enjoy doing it the long and physical way.

[@megannapier9269]

39-year-old woman here... Lifelong procrastinator since I can remember. Thank you for making me feel a little more validated and understanding why. ❤️

[@rockybarnes4906]

I should be doing my math course work right now but I found this video instead. Thank you for validating my struggle because despite getting back on Adderall, my motivation is still something that needs some help.

[@thesushifiend]

I went to my doctor for help as I believe I’m probably on the autistic spectrum and very clearly have inattentive ADD. He told me that I shouldn’t bother seeking treatment since I’m in my late forties and I’m obviously doing well at life. He couldn’t be more wrong. I also have depression which means I have almost no motivation in life, and he doesn’t realise that everything I do is such a huge effort to force myself. I leave everything to the last minute. I even have to force myself to do things that other people enjoy, like take a vacation. I have a good job, but that’s because I can use my above average intelligence to scrape by. But procrastination gets the better of me every single task I have to do, and it’s really not easy. I can only imagine what I’d be able to achieve if I were able to actually knuckle down and focus on things. Anyway the end of January is approaching and I should be working on my tax return before the deadline. But instead I’m lying on my bed watching KZbin. Well at least this video wasn’t a waste of time unlike the previous two hours!!

[@myacrylicjourney624]

Please get a different doctor, that one is ignorant.

[@unclemick-synths]

Non-ADHD people rarely understand. Just because we look like we're coping it's often because we've learned to fake it - but unlike the saying, we never seem to make it.

[@yournumberonepal]

Ha, I know exactly what you mean.

[@meganfox5219]

Haha I too keep forgetting to print my W2 so I can file my taxes. I too am in my late 40’s and have so much on my plate and I’m binge watching KZbin on days I have off of work. Im right here with you!

[@cynthiajelsema968]

I don't have book smarts, but I have good common sense. Most of the time. Lol

[@patrickfoltz232]

“You’d do so well if you’d just apply yourself!” That quote is the summary of my entire academic career. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of understanding as to why.

[@Nbomber]

Loll, same man. All my school report cards as a kid basically said "is easily distracted, distracts others, does not apply himself"

[@МУЅТ]

i bet “you’re so gifted” “i know you’re capable of doing this” “can you stop tapping” “don’t tell me you forgot, i reminded you” “did you remember today is *insert whatever thing you definitely didn’t remember but you will say ‘yea i know’*” “stop tapping” “when someone tells you enough than listen to them” “did you do that *insert thing that you def didn’t do and forgot about and immediately get flooded with years of teachers, parents, friends lecturing you, self loathing, disappointment, and frustration while simultaneously trying to give a reason why it wasn’t done, not wanting to make excuses but trying to find a way to make this person still like you bc at this point it’s basically impossible to establish positive adjectives for yourself and most your value and self worth is dependent on others*” “can you please stop tapping it’s annoying” “are you listening? what did i just say (but you’re a professional at giving conversational queues and retaining just enough scattered words that you throw into a last minute equation with context clues to process the last 5 minutes they’ve been talking into enough of a coherent answer for them that suffices but meanwhile you don’t even understand what it is that you just said)” “can you put your phone down when i’m talking?” and lastly the ever hurtful (because you’re finally mentally present so you thought dump on someone at the speed of light, “i think i’m done talking for today, my brain can’t handle anymore right now, it’s not you i just need a break but i wanna hear about this later (later never comes)” i bet those are all too common.

[@JacopoSkydweller]

Try getting a study buddy. Like buddy for life in your program if possible. It changed my college career, hugely. I got through engineering school with my friend Austin.

[@apostrofberrie]

And when you then go to others for advise and they say ‘Don’t overthink it, just do’ you start talking down to yourself even more.

[@brandmann9597]

Glad to see im not the only one. Thats what ive delt with my whole life

[@Josh-xn2uu]

THIS IS SO HELPFUL. As a licensed therapist, dealing with lack of motivation (particularly with ADHD present) is like circling a drain. You want to shake them and say “just do it!”, but they simply cannot sometimes. Love the way you broke this down, and I love forever learning more about mental health.

[@bethmoore7722]

Thank you for being open to learning about ADHD. When I was in grade school, in the 60s, it was treated as a discipline problem. My siblings and I already lived with a violent father, and a cold and critical mother. Being made to sit in the hall, being beaten at home, and being sent to the principal’s office only made it worse. I remember him towering over me, yelling, “What is wrong with your mind?”, on one occasion. So the answer, I guess, is no, we can’t, no matter what is done to us. Thank you for trying to understand.

[@Josh-xn2uu]

@@bethmoore7722 and knowing that there’s nothing inherently “wrong” with your mind just because you function differently. “Normal” is an ever-changing, subjective word. Know that though you shouldn’t have ever had to go through what you went through, it helped shape you into a person who wants to understand and improve. That speaks to your character, which is what’s most important in life. Be patient and kind with yourself, because little Beth needed that.

[@Vat6ré]

@@Josh-xn2uu I can even tell just from your comment you’ve got a kind heart,god bless

[@WildGoose_F12]

You must be my therapist… “Josh”… if that’s your real name!

[@wanderlustaesthete4117]

@@WildGoose_F12 he mentioned he was in his comment 😏

[@jeffdade238]

Thank you SO much for this video. I'm going through the worst bout of procrastination that I've ever endured. Watching this video has lessened my shame. I've had these traits for decades, so it's amazing that Medicine has pinpoint details that have never made their way to me. I pray that this information finds it's way into mainstream education.

[@TiashniqMiller]

For years and years I would always ask myself (many times in tears) “why am I like this?”, “why can’t I do this?” “Why does everything come so easy to other people and not me?” I always felt “abnormal” somehow but didn’t have a clue as to what it could be. I know I have anxiety and I am 99.9% sure I have ADD as well. It just makes perfect sense. It Literally describes everything I’ve been going through my whole life. It’s negatively affecting my work and personal life today and I’m wondering if it’s time to seek professional help

[@greenbean2700]

Me in a nutshell

[@laurahatch7677]

I'm ADD and all the ADDs and ADHDs that I know have an anxiety of some sort. Mine is Social Anxiety

[@EnergizingBane]

Sounds like me as well.

[@aebu.g]

If u feel like ur quality in life is being affected i do think it is time for you to seek professional help! I hope u did now, ur comment sounded serious.

[@slickrick5596]

This is exactly what I feel right now man. The trick here is trust yourself everytime. And even if you fail remember that thats not the basis of your worth. Laugh at every failure and just be happy doing this that you love while aiming for your goals. And face all your fears every fcking day. Hope it helps.

[@johnwayne8475]

I remember back at Uni, I left my studies till the very last minute and ended up studying the entire year's work in the last 3 days doing virtually all nighters and sleeping inside the university library. In the end I managed to pass. The failure rate of that course was 50%, meaning only half of students pass. Imagine what I could have achieved if I studied everyday 😂

[@pjf2193]

That's awesome and congratulations. I wouldn't have been able to do that without having a nervous breakdown. We all have much more stamina at that age though. Luckily my degree was all coursework and no exams.

[@angeliclizzie]

U da man fr 😂

[@stellamariss3335]

I’m impressed man, I also had this happen my first year but I failed one class. But I also was pulling all nighters basically learning everything from the past semester in one week. Don’t recommend this to anyway either, it completely exhausts you physically mentally and emotionally.

[@largeformatlandscape]

I easily passed my first year without work. I thought I could get away with the same in the second year but failed. Instead of going back a year I carried on although being told I’d need 70% I’m third year for a pass. I didn’t work most of third year but went nocturnal for the last three weeks and revised at night and managed 80% …. From complete laziness to hyper focus based on a serious deadline

[@KMc-cw3qt]

Maybe you wouldn’t because you truly couldn’t? I went back to college at 35, swore I wouldn’t repeat my childhood pattern of waiting till the night before then working feverishly, usually not sleeping. I did. I reaaaaly tried to do everything ahead of time. Problem was - just like when I was a kid - I still got excellent grades. Fast fwd to grad school - repeat above story. I got out of undergrad with a 3.85 (4.0 in my major) and survived and graduated masters level. Repeat again for 2 clinical licenses. Do I recommend this method? Not at all. Is it maladaptive? Definitely. But for me, it worked. I stopped panicking and accepted it. Don’t NOT try to change, but don’t tell yourself you can just do what “would have worked.” Good luck! (PS I’m 56 and just started Vivance. CBT did nothing for me. I’m already drowning in sticky notes and lists 😂)

[@1116952]

I’ve literally been struggling to spring clean. I have crap everywhere and maybe get 15 mins of work in before I’m exhausted. Body doubling works for me. I invited a friend over and because I was so ashamed of my apartment I ran around like a mad person cleaning. I got more done in 20 min than I did in 3 days on my own

[@stageluvr91]

SAME

[@helenhealing]

Ahhh I naturally body double… on the phone With anyone I’ll clean like crazy, or if someone is here I’ll keep busy ashamed of my lazy clutter

[@SaxonBloom]

I’m this exact way!!!!

[@andresabourin2423]

The body doubling comment was very enlightening and true.

[@SuperReznative]

As loving homeschooling multitasking Dad, then divorce with children gone... really put me into sad, lonely, state of suspended animation for years.Then ptsd cause of all the court ,rumors, gossip, job sabbatoge by racist co-workers,or when doing good towards others.. jealous people create Kaos

[@jesschristianson3863]

She's awesome. Her other videos are great too. I've always struggled with ADD (in the 90s when I was diagnosed it was just ADD) .I'm great at my job, but I can't get a real career because studying and other things feel impossible, and I know I try. I will get it together, but I'm getting old. No details, no excuses, but when you have this and combine it with other certain unfortunate circumstances, life can really be a drag.

[@louhortonsculpture]

I’m learning why money and positive rewards don’t motivate me. It sucks- because I’m not only not motivated to get ahead just to make money (because I see how exploitative it is to me or others if I get ahead, and I hate it) but also learning to accept praise and also demand to be paid fairly for what I produce. I’m like trying to teach myself to be happy with the reward- because that wasn’t motivating to me at all! But also depression is a huge factor. Oh, and basic needs not being met, because this is the USA.

[@DeeDee25ism]

I can completely relate. Sometimes I wish I were motivated by external things. It would make my life so much easier.

[@DVToxico]

I just realized I have a problem accepting the "reward", maybe I feel I don't deserve it or it's just not gonna be enough to make me feel satisfied anyways so I don't have the motivation. But when I do procrastinate and tell my self I have plenty of time or I won't be late, I have to tell myself, "no we went through this last time, and you were late, same actions same results, do something different" and that usually helps once I see it from that perspective.

[@moniqueloomis9772]

@@DVToxico 💯

[@joneilkimball]

The only way money motivates me is I feel closer to retiring early as my accounts grow. I'm so burned out from work that nothing is enjoyable. I don't buy toys. And I don't care what people think so I don't buy things to impress them. I only feel rewarded when I get something done and I think I did it well. I'm working at the wrong company. They seem to want everything done half assed full blast.

[@nobodynowhere21]

Honestly people at social gatherings that only talk about 'stuff' and 'money' and their 'job' bore me to tears. I'd much rather have an interesting conversation with someone who sees the big picture in life, and doesn't see materialism as the backbone of their happiness. And I agree about the US -- it's a death machine that greases its gears in human blood and powers itself on 100% liquefied refrigerated fear.

[@enriquegarciacota3914]

“I have trouble… *doing* things” is how I used to put it. I now can verbalize it better (starting is usually the most difficult part, I also get distracted and lose track of time). I got diagnosed and started taking Vivanse 3 days ago, along with a bunch of techniques similar to what is mentioned here. It feels good to be validated, though. Thank you! I also appreciate the short recap at the end. Very considerate

[@mr.andmrs.adorable2033]

Starting is the hardest part sometimes for me too

[@Mimi-jg4xy]

How’s that medication working for you? I’m both bipolar and have adhd, I’m on lamictal already, which is a mood stabilizer. I want to try medication for adhd but I’m kinda scared to.. idk 😭 is it true that you feel like a zombie all the time?

[@tamypoitevien7040]

That’s great!! I’m happy for you. I speak to doctors here in Long Island NY and they are not doing anything about it!! Is sad 😞 and I have private insurance 😔

[@jackyp1893]

@@Mimi-jg4xy i have been using Strattera for at least a decade, and it really depends on which medication you take. I tried Concerta for a year and it was the worst: too nauseous to eat, exhausted because I couldn't eat, and I would crash after my classes in high school everyday. I was able to focus, but I constantly felt like vomiting. Terrible feeling! So I switched to Strattera, which isn't a stimulant, and it's so much better! I don't think I focus as well as I could on Concerta, but the tradeoff is a no-brainer. Just remember above all else to be patient with yourself because finding the right medication is a process. Give yourself a year or two to troubleshoot, kind of deal. I know it's likely daunting yo hear this, but by going slow and steady, you can give yourself a much better chance at finding the right meds which will give you YEARS of happy living as a result. I recently graduated from law school, and credit my ability to do so with being patient with my medication. If you have any q's, let me know! I'm happy to try my best to answer and also send some solid resources I have used successfully.

[@darrentrevelyan8517]

@@Mimi-jg4xy You shouldn't feel like a zombie, no! That's something I was worried about when I got diagnosed and we were discussing ADHD medication, and she said that if you DO feel like that, then the reaction to the medication isn't what it should be. Either the dose isn't right (usually too high if so), or that particular medication itself just doesn't work for you and trying another might be better. There's also a difference in long working and short working meds. Just like any medication, it's not a one size fits all deal, some people respond amazing to X while others hate its effects and Y works better for them etc. So if you WOULD feel like a zombie on the meds, I'd suggest to talk about it with your psychiatrist so you can adjust accordingly :)

[@Raelunil]

Note for fellow ADHD people, all the tips she suggested are ones I've used (with help from my therapist to figure out how to do some of them more effectively) and they actually work! 🥰 My college grades are doing so much better now that I have these in my toolkit. I hope they help you too!

[@RoseRedRoseWhite]

thank you so much for sharing that - it helps me on days I need help getting past the "wow! this broad is so kooky she's looking for help from KZbin" brand of negative self talk That somehow completely glossed over the fact that Dr. Marks is exceptionally qualified🖤

[@candihaas3713]

Thanks!

[@TSBOFRLM]

The toolkit! Yes!

[@AnimeRayanne]

Wish I knew how to try them.... I don't even know where to start. It doesn't help when I don't have anyone in real life to teach me stuff. I can never really absorb or understand the information from just listening to a KZbin video.

[@jamesncraigrocjames2092]

She’s just described me right now. I can’t focus on all the work I have to do. It’s a lot. Deadlines. My neck on the line and yet I still cannot force myself to do any of it. It’s work and there a consequences. I still cannot motivate myself. It bores me immensely. Tomorrow may be different. Today I just can’t.

[@itsjestjay]

Oh my goodness, the moment she mentioned that it can feel physically difficult to do something, and how someone with ADHD might say to themselves "Why can't I just do this?" I freaked out! I'm happy to know about this, and that it's not just me... Thank you so much!

[@nolangeorge921]

Yep, I’m the same way. I sometimes have strong desire to do something, like work out. Even though I’ve worked out before and enjoy it, I can’t physically get myself to do it. Unless, I have someone join me. They don’t even have to work out, they can literally just stand there and I’ll work out for hours. It’s crazy! This happens to me on lots of things.

[@gamerchan6214]

Same! I always tell myself "It isn't that hard, it'll be done on less than an hour, I'm capable of doing this just fine, why can't I just do it?" It's so frustrating to want to do something but your brain makes it feel like it's impossible. Some cute gloves that I was so excited to make are still unfinished because even though I want to finish them, I can't motivate myself to do it

[@ericdoss1293]

I love how this video is MADE with the intent that someone with ADHD will watch it. Like for instance, I found myself slipping away during the middle without even realizing it, and at the end she RECAPS! Love it. I have struggled with this my entire life, and I have done some of these very things without even knowing that it was what I was supposed to be doing... Really neat, thank you Dr. Tracey.

[@jonboymi]

You mean like reading this comment at 2mins in lol

[@DreaBe]

I read this right after I did that lmao

[@scottkuzma125]

@@jonboymi Ugh! I only made it 4 seconds into the video!

[@evastrangelove]

Same!

[@aliyabowie3844]

Omg! Me too! She’s amazing! It was definitely made for ppl with ADHD!!!

[@alexisb.8965]

My twin sister and I spent most of our youth "body doubling" and thought it was just a twin thing. However, we've both been diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and I now realize we were coping with our symptoms without realizing it lol

[@nolangeorge921]

Dang, wish I had a sibling to “body double” with. That would have helped.

[@gamerchan6214]

@@nolangeorge921 I have a sibling but she works in her bed(we have loft beds) and doesn't pay attention to me at all so I don't get a lot done. I should be getting dressed for school but instead I'm watching this video and writing this comment. The irony here is incredible.

[@--CHARLIE--]

@@gamerchan6214 this motivated me to get changed for school. This is the first time body doubling has actually worked for me and it's over the KZbin comment section. Sounds about right lol.

[@gamerchan6214]

@@--CHARLIE-- dang, glad I could help then lol. -I've been in the school bathroom for over an- -hour. I told myself I'd work today-

[@KANNADAGAMERZ143]

Hidden Time Wealth blew my mind. I’ve shared it with friends, and they’re all amazed at how much more productive theyve become.

[@jf8138]

This is the perfect description. I had undiagnosed ADHD all throughout my life growing up. It constantly was a mystery to me, why it was so painful to start things, I could internally monologue, tell myself to work, beg myself to, think about it, demand it of myself. I wanted it so bad, but I had no support system and no way to identify what as happening. It was not until in my late 20s that I realized what was going on.

[@solarnaut]

I'm hoping for my breakthrough before I hit my early 200s ! B-)

[@voiceglobalinc.6731]

So what sid you do when you finally realised?? Did you make any changes or go for diagnosis or help?

[@rachellestringer]

Same here, 25 years until this moment , being called and calling myself lazy

[@craigwazowski]

cheese and rice bruv you have put words, no poetry, to these exact motions (inner monologue etc to being in my late 20's) that I go through most waking hours of my life. hearing you say it casually, as if you know the feelings so well you could improvise on the subject, gave me an ounce of peace. may that mean something to you, best of luck in life!

[@d15z1sux]

Getting diagnosed for ADHD I heard could be costly in terms of using medical professionals to diagnose it.

[@AsMr-rt1bs]

One caveat with your video: timers don't work for ADHD motivation. The (or at least my) ADHD brain knows the timer's deadline is meaningless and will ignore it if not already motivated. In some cases it can even make it worse, as your brain starts berating itself for running out the clock. I know I have sat stressed and physically unable to start tasks while telling myself I need to do the thing before I can do anything else. Pomodorro feels like an extension of this (or worse, as it could kill hard-fought focus if you actually do get started). It requires a higher than available level of self control that just doesn't exist for those with ADHD.

[@lurklingX]

timer like: YOU NOW HAVE 30M TO DO AS MUCH CLEANING AS YOU CAN *GO!* (this usually works if like, i know someone is coming over. even if it's not like THE last minute, and i just have the pending event soon. usually if i start, i can piggyback other things on by half starting a lot of stuff and challenging myself to be as time efficient as possible with how i layer them. (like.... start laundry so while that's going i can make some coffee and while i wait do dishes, then get coffee start to drink, and proceed to clean counters but first feed pets, still thinking about how much time till laundry is done... and basically the laundry acts as the timer. fit as much stuff in before i have to go switch it over. and, knowing while i'm in the basement i have some junk to take down there and papertowels to bring up. need papertowels to clean bathroom, but don't have them yet so start something else in the meantime, until laundry switch, where i'll obtain papertowels. now, clean bathroom while dryer runs... but if i start food in the oven it can be cooking while i clean the bathroom............ this layers to infinity, and on a good tear - it can go for like 4-7 hours. i'll be DED at this point, but a lot got done, and "if i knew how long this would take i NEVER would have started!" -- a friend quoted that back at me as apparently it was hilarious to her. anyway my thing above might conclude with: finish cleaning bathroom, do some cooking stuff in kitchen, grab laundry to fold, get and eat dinner, DIE. (and yes, wall of text accurately reflects the density of thoughts while juggling all the tasks like spinning plates at a circus. it's the challenge of efficiency and the 'timers' are when certain things will be finishing.)

[@AsMr-rt1bs]

@lurklingX For sure! Once started, that type of task chaining is the best! I live for those days! I may have to try the "timer as an out" method... part of me wonders if I'd still run out the clock and use it as an excuse to then let myself off the hook... or continue berating myself that I did just that 😅 Whatever happens, it's worth a shot! Something about how it's phrased at 4:48 where setting a timer to force yourself to start something specific just triggered flashbacks to long nights sitting staring at homework that just refused to get done, you know?

[@AsMr-rt1bs]

Actually, that's the other main difference between what you posit and what I think the video is saying: cleaning/doing various chores for a while is much more open ended than e.g. writing a paper for 30 minutes. Cleaning can take any number of forms and still be progressing toward the general goal, while there's really only one way to get words on a page. I wonder if that has something to do with it?

[@lurklingX]

​@@AsMr-rt1bs yeah, idk if timers would work for me in that sense. i've had the homework PRESSURE as well and my mind goes NUTS. i got from restless, frustrated, falling asleep to even libido spikes as my brain tries *anything* to give me an out. (aka stop doing thing that isn't working.) worse on nights i had exams and it was last chance to study and memorize stuff. :/ i like the organic timers of stuff like laundry or food finishing cooking. a regular timer doesn't address the full body aversion, the inverse motivation. it's being absolutely STUCK. (to be fair it could be part of a mood disorder or depression i guess.... sometimes there's overlap with adhd. but in any case it's *impossible* to deal with at times. sucks.)

[@lurklingX]

​@@AsMr-rt1bs partly i think it's the thing about starting something, ANYTHING, just to get the ball rolling. layering chores can give you the distracting challenges of 'see how many things you can do at once' or 'see how fast you can do stuff' etc. a specific activity, studying, whatever.... you kind of only have that one thing. layering is off the table. unless you get creative, i guess. sometimes interspersing another activity helps. like an exercise bike while reading an assignment or reviewing flashcards. i think adhd brain is instantly bored at the concept of doing that one thing, procrastination is in full swing, and there's no little.... idk, little chunk of something that feels easy, that can sort of mindlessly do to dig into it. gotta have that lead in. grease the wheels. on that note, i found it easier to do academic stuff while sitting in a library where other people were doing similar. it's like an ambiance or energy, and i'd use that. ((another thing about the cleaning.... sometimes there is not a different form. sink full of dishes... or even laundry... taking out trash. it's basically just one way to do it. but i understand if you mean that you can pick what you do first, or in some cases use different products or tools on say, a floor or counter. ugh it's all so tedious.))

[@kellyharrison5184]

Wow! You just explained in eight minutes what has been plaguing my life for nearly sixty years. Thank you! I've spent my entire life filled with shame for how I am unable to start, focus on, or finish, projects. (Unless I am deeply interested in them... LOL)

[@pattijohnson5763]

Yep

[@wdk0915]

Yes, me too.

[@kissybiz]

I'm right there with you. I'm 61 and I never put 2 n 2 together. Right now I'm taking a 5 min break from my 30 minute housework timer (no music cuz then id stop and sing). So simple yet so effective.

[@ChrisMahtal]

This is one of the best videos I've watched about ADHD. It includes the science, which I love, but there's no fluff, it's just useful information without any distracting elements.

[@walsoe_1]

Took me almost 60 years to be diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar 2 and anxiety. Feels so good to hear you talking about "my" problems and, and by that realise parts of my life and struggle was not me. Somehow this feels good. Thank you.

[@virgochild8213]

😍

[@kennethgraves9662]

I got my Dx last year though not in time to save the first position I had been able to secure in 10 years from being lost to this condition. I have so many behavioral issues stemming from ADHD and a lifelong undiagnosed brain condition that panic is my normal state of mind...an ocean of self loathing, ambivalence and doubt. My family began to see me differently after the craniotomy a few years back... not like they understood any better but they were at least capable of considering the notion that I wasn't some lazy assed recalcitrant after all. That's progress! As the youngest of six who looked up to his siblings as if they were demigods, their 50 years of heartbreaking disapproval, frustration and mistrust forever eats at my soul and serves to feed into my crushing self loathing and insecurities to this day. My mother's lifelong habit of second guessing my every decision and disapproving of whichever one I eventually made was totally unnerving and often crippling though understandable from hernoersoective given I was undiagnosed until recently. I developed anxiety at a young age. Regardless, having tested high in my youth I was placed in advanced placement courses and much has been expected of me ever since. Not much has been delivered though I have acted in good faith and continue to do so. Seeking treatment and attempting to focus on mental health in a positive manner...following the doctors orders to the best of my abilities, taking all the meds. I can say that having made it this far, I think... I must be one tough bastard! I still come down on the side of trying every waking hour, even when I now it's as likely not to work out as it is to go right. So I'm pushing 60 and I don't own the pot that I piss in and I won't ever because of this disability it seems. It's just so depressing, the whole lot of it. Thank you for this...

[@mahatmaniggandhi2898]

@@kennethgraves9662 i get it, parents not understanding you and making things worse is awful. sometimes i just feel like im gonna have a nervous breakdown and just run into the desert

[@setclearboundaries9184]

@@kennethgraves9662 I’m 26 and relate to your story. Thank you.

[@Astrothunder_]

Yes putting responsibility off yourself always feels good. Maybe cathartic is a better word.

[@BlackFlagHeathen]

“You can think, ‘Why can’t I just do this?’ You can have something you need to get done, and it just feels physically painful to break through the inertia to do it. It may not even be all that much that you need to do, but if your head isn’t in it, those five steps can feel like 1,000.” Oof. I related to this so hard, I literally almost cried. It’s damn near IMPOSSIBLE to force myself to do something when I don’t want to do it, or even if I do want to do it, but there’s something else I want to do even more, or I’m already doing something else. It’s like there’s some sort of physical barrier in reality that I can’t break through until I do this other thing I want to do, or even not at all, it’s hard to explain. I HATE IT.

[@brivvy]

And your body feels anxious and you just want to scream because your brain wants to desperately work, but your body can’t do it. And other times your body wants to do it, but your brain can’t. It’s hard to get them to work together! I’m so jealous of people who can read books. I used to read dozens per year, but now I’ve been working on the same book for months.. I’m only through 5 chapters before I have to keep starting over. “Get the audiobook.” Yes, then I start day dreaming because the book mentioned a word that reminded me of my second grade teacher who used to say that during recess. I really wish there was a cure 😭

[@IKYFL238]

@@brivvy Same here!! I used to LOVE reading...could finish 2 or more books/week & remember what they were about! I actually have 4 Kindles all full with over 3,642 books (I buy books & download to each) I kept buying different Kindles becuz each had more space or features that I KNEW I needed to just START reading. When that didn't work, I started forcing myself to read...I have 22 books I have started & no more than 2-5 chapters read in each. I get serious urges to TRY to read...was tempted to buy another Kindle last week, thinking THAT would make me read books, but had a friend stop me from buying it. This can be very hard to deal with, so I feel your pain!

[@brivvy]

@@IKYFL238 🙏🏾😞

[@Chester-mz2ep]

Same, that hit me

[@dmbdana]

Omg! I was just talking to my son about this today. “Why do I procrastinate with everything and have to force myself to do it?” Thank you so much for making this video. I don’t feel like a failure anymore.

[@ExMeroMotu9]

Don't self diagnose. Go to a doctor and get checked. These videos are not intended for self diagnosing.

[@sakurahirawa]

@@ExMeroMotu9 👍🏽

[@voodude1074]

Im slowly realizing I have probably had severe, undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD my whole life, and my research is what made KZbin recommend this to me. The fact that i immediately tuned out when she stopped explaining and started giving tips for what to actually do makes me feel like my intuition is probably correct.

[@morganleigh5200]

Can we also talk about how negative reinforcement is actually really harmful to productivity? I feel like this is especially true for someone like me with ADHD. It has made school and work a nightmare because I do not care about consequences outright, but if I get reprimanded for my ADHD behaviors it makes me even less interested in the work.

[@PearsAreOkay]

Talk to an ADHD therapist

[@Donnie_is_cool]

@@PearsAreOkayTHOSE EXIST?!

[@Abbos1106]

@@Donnie_is_coollearn about CBT. There’s a lot of therapists trained in aiding clients with ADHD.

[@PearsAreOkay]

​@@Donnie_is_cool sure, most therapists create some sort of online profile (a personal website or registry, e.g.) and they may detail their particular interests or skill set in helping patients with ADHD. Also, I'm sure if you spoke with some therapists, you can ask them if they can refer you to someone that does specialize or would be a good fit for you or an ADHD type, in general, if you don't seem to be having any luck with that. You can also ask your primary care physician for their suggestions on any particular types of therapists. I don't think it's a bad thing to ask around, but I hope this was helpful.

[@Donnie_is_cool]

@@PearsAreOkay 👍 thanks

[@LetsBeCivilShallWe]

This is my 3rd time in a row watching this. I have ADHD and my meds have not kicked in yet, so my attention keeps wandering. And I’m *very* interested in this topic. So imagine what it’s like when you’re procrastinating. _This_ issue is what I want to fix more than anything related to my ADHD.

[@louhortonsculpture]

Omg. Seriously!!! So many videos or audiobooks I have to go back and listen again and again!! I’m not in school- I don’t have to learn anything I’m not interested in! I guess that’s why it’s still a problem for us as adults.

[@mimoys11]

Me too. I am at work and I am having a hard time completing my reports.

[@KS_happy]

I've found that watching at 1.5 speed (and listening to audio books & podcasts at a faster speed) makes it so much easier to focus. When videos/speeches are too slow I really struggle. This might not work for you, but I thought I'd at least share this tip. :)

[@MayaAdkisson]

@@KS_happy Same. If I'm on my computer, I kick it up to 1.6. It drives my husband crazy, but it's truly the only way to keep my attention. Listening at normal speeds either makes mind wander or I get anxious for some reason (because why not, right) .

[@educationiskey3331]

That means you might have a tolerance for the meds

[@Sharon52ish]

Oh my gosh, thank you!! I'm almost 40 and I feel embarrassed when i tell people (which I do rarely) that it's like my brain won't physically allow me to start/complete something. I can never fully explain and even I feel crazy even though I experience it...this video was super helpful!!! Thank you!!!

[@marymount1133]

Your embarrassing to tell people. But you do anythings. ???

[@BobbieDeming]

YES! I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU LUV! I just turned 41yrs and learning this as well. Many tears I know we have both had along this journey. I’m right next to you feeling these same feelings so remember you’re not alone, okay? Let’s live life again, right!? 💖

[@BobbieDeming]

@@marymount1133 You must not understand her post because it’s something most feel. Your comment is hard to understand what you’re trying to say.

[@kai1041]

Your brain is wired in a way that must make it good at do many things other people may find difficult. ADHD may be a wild horse waiting for you to get to know her and run with her. Good luck girls :)

[@mopnem]

@@kai1041 Incorrect, it’s a false narrative that adhders have a multitasking advantage. Adhders are just at a disadvantage period. It’s not a beneficial condition unless the activities were talking are physical in nature, reward conducing or mabye emotional (“artsy”) since adhders can see things different then the gen population for a couple of reasons.

[@cathyt144]

I feel like shes been looking thru my windows watching my life . I am 63 yrs old and was given Ritalin by my Dr 2 weeks ago for the first time. I labeled myself as the "master procrastinator" years ago . This has shed so much light on things ive struggled with my entire life. Thank you ❤

[@SlowerOne]

I’m 31, definitely have ADHD, this was the most informative video around it I have ever heard. This is the type of information they need to teach in school.

[@TheCommentatorguy]

I wish I could agree with you, but I feel like this is something that should be taught to the teachers to identify or to parents in like a parent teacher meeting. Sometimes teaching things to kids, they may embody the information and believe their false symptoms to the point where they may subconsciously develop something. [Not a doctor nor do I claim to be, just observations]

[@StrongArmFlix]

Same

[@Naatosiii]

when we're you guys diagnosed?

[@KateeAngel]

@@Naatosiii do you realise many people live with undiagnosed mental health issues? I lived with undiagnosed depression for 6 years before it was diagnosed.

[@adrianenciso612]

@@TheCommentatorguy YES!

[@dennyanderson8924]

I wish I could have had this video when I was in school in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. I couldn’t do homework or complete assignments unless I waited till the last moment. I watched my peers graduate from college without me. I couldn’t figure out why because people always told me how smart and musically talented I was and that I must not be applying myself. Well, I wasn’t, because I didn’t know how. Thank you for your beautiful articulation of this debilitating disorder.

[@jstone247]

I agree. I grew up in the 1950/60s, and none of this was discussed or attended to. So many school kids were relegated to 'backward' classes and little was expected of them. In many cases, this led to poor education, low employment, disruptive lives. Many jail inmates, have had a history of learning difficulties.

[@lilyk7326]

Me too. I got through uni after many years, but it was a terrible traumatizing effort. This behavior has haunted my entire working life, holding me back as I watched much less competent people be promoted up he ladder while I lagged behind. I definitely never reached my potential

[@carolbarker8488]

I was in school during those years too. I was really quite bright but was an under achiever. I could never understand why I couldn't face doing my homework, why it was almost impossible to sit and do it. I was considered lazy. Even I thought I was lazy. How I wish the conditions that are recognised now were understood then.

[@caty9995]

Yeah, for us older people it's good news but too late. This sounds like my life and instead I was always diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I knew there was something else going on and I could not explain it. I've been called slow, lazy, a procrastinator, I'll never amount to anything, and so on I know most of you know what I'm talking about. It's caused me alot of pain both emotional and physical. Can it be that all this time ADHD was the cause of my depression and anxiety. I tried telling my head doctor that there was something else going on with me but like most people he just sees me as unmotivated and prescribes antidepressants and anti anxiety meds that don't really work. I'm surprised I'm still living.

[@ambriaashley3383]

I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD, but I definitely have attention and focus issues. The information and the tips you provide are so helpful, thank you!!

[@erikawright1510]

Girl you might have it anyway! I wasnt diagnosed until 24 and failed my senior yr of college. Dont wait to get a consultation

[@ambriaashley3383]

@@erikawright1510 thank you for the advice! Your situation in college sounds similar to mine. I just got so used to coping w my struggles that I started to think a formal diagnosis might not even be helpful. But I'm finally gonna talk to my doctor about a possible evaluation....

[@solarwolf678]

Yea my parents don't want to get me diagnosised since they don't want me to take medication

[@5occergirl45]

Same

[@SillyTaxEvader]

Same, but mental health system is like shit in latinoamerica, also even if I'm an adult my family would never believe, religion have a loot to do in that, they r like "u have to pray to god to give u focus" yeah that doesn't work lol

[@SamiMehandiartist]

The concept of Hidden Time Wealth blew my mind. It’s like finding a cheat code for productivity and defeating procrastination.

[@mangokraken]

Something I notice not many people mention is ADHDers like myself end up HATING a task after completing it because we don't feel productive, we feel tired, and exhausted and drained. Mentally and physically. Growing up I was placed in advanced classes early on as I was deemed "twice exceptional". The better I did the more work was thrown at me with less guidance every time. How dare I ask for help when I'm supposed to know everything!? I was left to figure shit out on my own. I was awarded the Superintendents Award many years back to back, an award only given to the top two students in the district. It didn't feel rewarding and I wasn't "praised" beyond that. To a kid, those awards simply meant more work was coming at me in the future. All this without any medication. Fast forward to my senior year in highschool and I had ended up in classes with 5 other top students. Those 5 students were my classmates and we were isolated from the rest of the school. I burned out hard. My brain just gave up on me. My grades dropped, self esteem dropped, mental health plummeted, became depressed, had no real friends. Potential universities dropped me just like that. All that work and I amounted to NOTHING because my brain decided it HATED school...five yards from the finish line. My parents still bring up my shortcomings but they were always hard on me. What really hurt the most was running into my second grade teacher, 20 years later, that first discovered my "gifted" mind and he asked me what grand things I had done. The disappointment in his eyes pierced my soul. I am now, illiterate, depressed, have a speech impediment and an uneducated moron, who barely scraped a GPA worthy of a diploma, to work a 9-5 for minimum wage. MY POINT IS....If you have a gifted ADHD kid, HELP THEM. As much as you can... because even if they seem extremely capable, a little guidance and support and love and understanding makes their potential _limitless_

[@johanitalouw9315]

AMEN TO THAT!!!

[@lindaanderson1016]

You are not illiterate. Please don't use these condemning labels.... Although it is a story that involves difficulty, you wrote very well. Please do not give up. It has helped me to get to know Christ through the Bible. Try reading the Gospel of John.

[@aubreyarchives]

The timer trick, or the Pomodoro method, honestly is what got me through college. It's highly effective and incredibly easy to process if you have a physical timer in your workspace. Also, a teaspoon of honey under the tongue helps get dopamine in quickly via mother nature's highest glucose food.

[@dougr550]

Super helpful to understand that the "uncomfortable" feeling right before starting doing work is what was described in the video, and that you kind of just have to fight through it. I wasn't familiar with the Pomodoro method until now but have always defaulted to forcing myself to work in short bursts with small-medium breaks in the middle.

[@drewcifer8489]

I use timers for so many situations

[@Lakshyam9]

The honey tip is so sweet 😊

[@lilachodan4941]

​@@drewcifer8489 Same. Totally

[@ahagotcha]

Until you keep messing with the timer to move and back the timer

[@Nick.Ackerman]

I refer to Calvin and Hobbes all the time: Hobbes- "you need to finish your assignment!" Calvin- "I have to be in the right mood" Hobbes - "what is that?" Calvin- "last minute panic" I relate to this daily.

[@RealOriginalGamers]

Good stuff

[@OrbitalTrails-x5s]

How old are you 12?

[@slendy1641]

@@OrbitalTrails-x5s ???

[@DumaVadamee109]

@ferret I'm 27 and the only reason I know about it is cause my mom read me thise comics when I was a kid. Somehow their even funnier as a adult.

[@NotPaesh]

Finally, a video that not only talks about symptoms, but TREATMENT options. And that concise reiteration at the end is INvaluable. Thank you.

[@lynnlooi5346]

I’ve been researching more on ADHD ever since I’d discovered that ADHD have an inattentive type. And the more I research about it, the more it feels like it’s describing me. This video definitely helps me understand more and I’m thinking of visiting a psychologist one day

[@bloodstripeleatherneck1941]

I suspect ADHD combined with PTSD is what truly makes it painful to the point of coming to tears if willing to force yourself through it.

[@vanessita4138]

There's that. Also ADD, BPD, PTSD, AND MAYBE I'M ALSO IN THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM. 😞🥲 I FEEL YOU.

[@Asainboi539]

@@vanessita4138 how do you have ptsd

[@vanessita4138]

@@Asainboi539 i wake up having nightmares of my abuse. I also suffer anxiety and panic attacks. Have yet to find relief. Although Im not sure one can heal from it. Meditation helps at times.

[@lald7938]

No cap. Especially when u've gone through a painful experience. But I am telling myself that God is good.

[@RavenStar16]

Yes! I have CPTSD and PTSD and suspect ADHD. I'm 43. Gonna find out. I'll check back.

[@meldixon1918]

Body doubling is something I’ve always needed but hadn’t heard put into words until now. In college I loved cleaning with my roommate and now as an adult it helps me so much to call someone and chat while I clean.

[@perseusarkouda]

I can't clean without someone besides me! It doesn't matter if he/she helps. I just want someone to find motivation.

[@nataliesiddle8507]

I got tons of decorating done at my home when my mum was helping me out, and I made sure she wasn’t doing as much as me, just keeping my company. I’ve done ZERO without her :(

[@alexanderanders5626]

I just want to say thank you so much for this video and the way you present this information. This was the first video I've seen about ADHD since my very recent diagnosis that clearly described the pathways in the brain that are impacted, the impacts of those differences in those with ADHD (like myself), and ways to address it outside of just stimulant medication (which is already helping). I am so grateful and appreciative for your work and making this information accessible.

[@Dayz671]

Never been diagnosed but what she said is pretty accurate I been living with my parents for a year after I graduated and I was supposed to be studying but most of the time I found my self procrastinating instead of studying. It is boring but I started to listen to music while studying and it makes it so much better. It felt like a 10000 steps to even study. Also I struggle with motivation.

[@kentuckyburbon1777]

Stop living at home. You’ll be reminded how life is a struggle and be motivated.

[@MiZoW]

When trying to describe how hard it is for me to concentrate I've always said "It's physically painful", so to hear her say that really gave me goosebumps.. No one has ever been able to understand how I feel.

[@kadeelacayo4806]

Same!!!!!!!

[@quixs4013]

This happens to me when somebody asks me why I didn't get my work done but I didn't want to be dramatic now I know it's normal

[@gwendolynkaren5933]

@@kadeelacayo4806 it hurts your brain when you first use it

[@katrishaboom9438]

For all my peeps starting out in trying to figure out how to study with ADHD, I want to talk about the pomodoro technique a lil bit. So as you have seen on this video the standard pomodoro timer lasts 25 minutes, to do your work and 5 mins to have a break. But an importnt information is that this timer's length can be arranged based on how things work better with you, meaning you might need to take a five minute break every 15 mins instead of every 25. Or your brain might feel more comfortable working for longer time periods such as 30 mins. Please don't forget that a tip is not a rule and always remember whatever works for others does not always work for you too.

[@miniminyoonji282]

Oh, thank you I think I'm more comfortable with the 15mins work than that 25 mins as it's seems quite long for me (unless really needed) I'm going to try this technique 😊

[@katrishaboom9438]

@@miniminyoonji282 No problem! I wish I knew it from the beginning about it being costumisable😁Very glad I could help!!!

[@GregMeece]

My wife and I stumbled across Dr. Marks' videos a few days ago and we can't get enough. She puts the cookie jar on the lower shelf so that ordinary people can understand complex topics. So knowledgeable and so helpful! Thanks you Dr. Marks!

[@giannagerster4431]

I don't know how, but Doctor Marks perfectly straddles the line of being profoundly compassionate, yet serious. You can tell she cares about helping the world around her, and her delivery is flawless. I am deeply appreciative that she recaps her videos at the end and stays concise.

[@Arkstromater]

I have add . I found that doing something to jumpstart my motivation really helps my brain wake up. Physical activity really helps me get going when I feel unmotivated. I have been doing one more push-up each day. The push ups really help kickstart natural dopamine. If you aren’t an upper body strength type of person, then I suggest jumping jacks or a quick sprint down the street. It doesn’t have to be drawn out exercises. Just a quick heart rate increase. This has helped me . It’s like an atomic habit. Add one small step each day and you will find growth

[@madelinequinn5879]

Yup, since working from home started I have begun to take dancing breaks during my work day and it definitely has helped. Sometimes it's hard to stop and get back to work but physical activity seems to really help the ADD brain. I cant be on stimulants anymore so other measures need to be taken.

[@path1024]

That requires motivation. Kinda like calling the doctor to get diagnosed and treated.

[@jarenbrila3299]

Gotta try this. Thanks 😉.

[@squeekydog8468]

It does require motivation, but if you can find something you enjoy that’s physical (I like talking walks), then that takes care of itself. Then the physical activity helps give you the energy to do other things. I call it, “getting the blood flowing”

[@lylacorin3331]

It's like Dr. Marks just climbed into my brain and read every single thing about me. It's all true for me. And I have the same invisable wall that Incognito Potato has. Getting from point A to point B is nearly impossible and it certainly isn't a straight line between them. Thank you Dr. Marks!! I have liked, subscribed and saved this video. And will have to watch it multiple times I'm sure. Looking forward to watching many more!

[@robertcarr4172]

Even me.

[@yolandasirri2012]

I'm so tired of dealing with this the lack of motivation I feel when it comes to getting anything done makes me so frustrated. Then I get super angry and end up feeling overwhelmed to the point that I'm just crying through out the day .I have a good handle on it for the most part but not in every aspect in which the adhd effects me. It's embarrassing to be an adult dealing with this shit

[@phoenragon]

Thank you Doctor for such a clear and informative video. I finally got to the point where I recognized my ADHD but before that, I thought it was depression because of my lack of motivation to do anything. But I also finally learned that working memory is a big issue for some people with ADHD. It certainly was for me! I would have an idea and forget it in the span of seconds it would take to open a note on my phone and write it down. So frustrating! Especially when I had people in my life saying “just write it down” 🤦🏻‍♀️ I recently started a 1h routine where I work on something for an hour and take an hour break. I am self-employed so I realize not everyone could take such a lengthy break, but this strategy has helped me get so much more done. Sometimes I even work over into my break bc the motivation is there. My rest hour can be something fun like playing a game, but as soon as my timer on my watch goes off, it’s up and back to work. I do this from 8am to about 6pm every day. Has worked great so far

[@NiteSaiya]

As an engineer with ADHD and someone who saw dozens of brilliant engineering students burn out due to ADHD, I feel like the biggest pitfall in the "I work best under pressure" mindset is a task that cannot be done under pressure. Nobody is so smart that they can learn digital signal processing, high performance aerodynamics, or feedback control systems at the depth required to get a degree in the final days of a semester. I've watched some of the most brilliant people I've ever met sit down and try to cram for courses on radiofrequency antenna design, hydrology, or heat transfer and end up failing the course because you just can't learn these topics well enough to pass a rigorous exam on them in a few days.

[@ryo-kai8587]

Unfortunately, people with our type of brains often seem to have acute and impressive skills (maybe due to hyperfocus?), but it's exceptionally difficult to apply them, or develop them with the discipline or consistency necessary to find functional, real-world success.

[@xellanchaos5386]

This was me in the Nuclear Navy program. Went in, but they go through the topics too fast and FORCE studying, to the point I was struggling hard. Only got out after mentioning that I felt I was about to drive myself to suicide, and learning (me and Navy,) that I had ADHD, from the following mental/psychological check-up.

[@fionaevans7502]

It’s reassuring that someone has so elegantly described my problem, which is the bane of my existence. I literally cannot start anything anymore even if there’s going to be issues later. I’ve tried the timer, and the Pomodoro thing - I have looked at it. I have never had an ADHD medication that did anything to help this. You did mention that too. So many struggles just getting normal tasks done. Counsellors think they understand but they don’t. Now I am 60 and it’s getting worse.

[@IKYFL238]

I totally understand...mine is getting worse, too...

[@sunnydaze2359]

Oh it definitely gets worse with age believe me. I’m older than you & I will attest to that. But then I blame it on my age .😂

[@fionaevans7502]

😫well At least we have internet buddies like us

[@ahmedi7332]

Yeah z himCv

[@ZionsWorld]

My girlfriend is currently struggling with her focus, and she's been upfront about her impulses and ADHD diagnosis for the last 4 years we've known each other. I feel as if not many people are taking her diagnosis seriously, whether it's at her job, her classes, or her own mother, and that she's not getting the help she needs despite being on Strattera. While it helps calm her down and temporarily focus from receiving enough dopamine, her motivation to do what she loves becomes complicated and the mood swings become even more apparent and she becomes very depressed/aggressive very quickly... right now we're in a semi-long distance relationship (we live about an hour-and-a-half away), and I fear that she's still not given help from those around her during her daily life, and the stress is causing her to turn to temporary solutions such as drinking and receive pain through tattoo imprinting as an alternative to something worse.... However, certain places like her favorite coffee shop helps relax her and it really improves her motivation to do art and focus on homework, which can be very difficult due to her obligations with her mom, pets and "especially" retail (which in itself is a nightmare for her these days according to what she texts me). This isn't someone being lazy, this is someone who was born a certain way and deserves to get the help she needs to adapt to her flaws, and the working world is probably even MORE flawed than she is for not taking disorders such as these seriously. She is an extremely talented artist whenever she hyperfocuses, and she is the sweetest person I've ever met in my life. I just know that with the right help, she may even do things others normally could not do.

[@BiakSkull]

I remember strattera making me more depressed than i should've been when I was taking it. Good thing you care

[@shockofthenew]

I don't have much advice except to keep supporting her and maybe try having some conversations together with her and her family over time (that might need to be a gradual thing as your relationship progresses). I will say that you sound like a great partner and I'm really glad she has someone in her life who takes her seriously and is 'in her corner'. Sounds like you have a good grasp of the problem and what does and doesn't help. Just keep talking to her and being there for her and focus on improving your life conditions together (doing fun stuff, planning for the future, getting the hell out of retail when possible). It can be difficult to access therapy, but she might benefit from some ADHD coaching/mentoring or occupational therapy. There are also online communities where she might feel more 'seen' and learn about ways of coping. Good luck to you both!

[@miusashi4881]

Just chiming in as a known in attentive type adhd sufferer. What I loved from this video is the working in smaller portions that you see here. Its why at work we often get criticized, we just need frequent short breaks more then a 1 hour lunch and if shes lucky she can negotiate something like that with her boss. Hope she gets the support she needs

[@tashadodge5985]

If the medicine is making her worse, she needs to try a different one.

[@lisamarie8136]

Wow my bf won’t even take the time to watch a video about adhd😓

[@eldunariheart6145]

I've never bothered getting diagnosed but i feel so called out watching this video. Everything fits my behavior.