Why You Can’t Just ‘Get Over’ Trauma: The Science Behind Healing

[@OneOddOwl]

“I’m sorry you’re still letting it affect you so much” is something I’ve heard multiple times about stuff that happened to me in childhood.

[@ThomasMuethingDotCom]

It still affects you because it traumatized you. I do hope you can get peace deep for yourself inside. That's where it counts. Be well.

[@vyaptimehra]

And u shud reply such ppl back with "im glad that u r so privileged to not b able to know/understand my pain" 😉

[@grmpEqweer]

Like it's a matter of allowing. "Allowing it to affect you," is really toxic and victim-blame-y.

[@artifundio1]

​@@vyaptimehra I've replied with something similar and...was not well received, 😅 obviously (read the last word with Jordan Peterson's voice for better effect). Some lucky people never got traumatized ...But many others are dissociated and/or living in denial. Those are the worst!!

[@icysurfer1]

Which is not an apology as they are saying it's your fault that there is still an issue.

[@therabidpancake1]

Chronically tired , trouble with memory , constantly on edge . That describes me pretty well .

[@saythankyou111]

Jump at noises,unsure of strangers rather stay home then engage 🥺

[@Rasarel]

Guys, go hug trees 🎄, it helps.

[@metalassassin8841]

Sounds like cPTSD to me... Welcome to the "club"....

[@rainbowodysseybyjonlion]

Wow.... That literally is me man. I'm tired of this trauma. I'm tired all the time and forget so much shit.

[@tiarabunch5923]

Me too😔

[@gardener3017]

I am 65 yrs old & I have been on this healing journey my entire adult life. It's not a one & done, it's not a destination. I heard someone say the other day that true healing comes when you accept you are not the person you were before, that it changed you, and that you must accept will never be that person again. To anyone out there struggling, because of this, please know that people that haven't experienced significant trauma - including trauma therapists - will never understand fully what it does to your brain. They can't understand it because they haven't had their brain changed for them like that. Who you are today is okay. You survived! Your opinion of yourself is what matters, not what other people think. They didn't go through it with you, so they don't get a vote on how you process it, right? It isn't their brain that was impacted, it was yours. They don't set your pace, you do. Hold onto whatever works for you. For me, understanding people just don't understand has helped me come to terms with what happened to me. They don't have to understand how it affected me, I do.

[@probablypoetic8759]

That's a great point! Thank you.

[@marilynpeppers1356]

Well said!💜

[@winebox]

I’m your age and let me tell you, even people who go through trauma can put down others experiences. I know a pair of siblings where the oldest was targeted but dismisses the trauma that the other had because they were beaten. It’s really eye opening. As far as having the almost obsessive thinking about the things that make me angry from trauma, the thing that helped me in the beginning was a woman told me that you can’t help it if a bird flies down and sits on your head. But you don’t have to let it stay there. That helped me stop and identify when the “spiral” started and I could consciously see it then let it go.

[@vyaptimehra]

Wow u nailed it. U hv put it so well. Im gonna write down ur explanation on paper n paste it in my journal for me to read it often and remind myself But regarding ur last few lines im not too sure for myself,bcz u r 65 n hv lived in different times,im 30 and im seeing so much knowledge being rolled out on this topic of CPTSD/parental abuse that im quite hopeful. The difference between responses i see from ppl are based on their level of IQ and education, both being directly proportional to the person's level of understanding to CPTSD.

[@dymesmimi]

Thank you for sharing this

[@Emma__O]

Say while you're cooking, you burn your hand on the stove. It heals. You cook again and you're suddenly hyper aware of everything to avoid burning your hand again. Doesn't matter that the thing that caused the trauma in the first place is no longer happening, it stays with you for life, everytime you use a stove. There's no such thing as "getting over" it.

[@anitacraighead7038]

Exactly!!! I burned my hand once when I was in twenties when cooking big pot of chicken soup...the fat made it worse. To this day (now 67) I still have problems cooking! Your post helped me just now to figure out why! Thanks.

[@jeremywright9511]

That is not necessarily trauma, it can be based on the perceived intensity or severity of the event, but that is just negative reinforcement learning. Crucial to our survival from an evolutionary standpoint. As in, if you eat a berry that tasted bitter and made you sick, you will naturally be avoidant of other strange berries because they might be bad for you. If our body did not evolve the capacity for this kind of adaptive learning we would not have lasted very long as a species. However, if your burn was bad enough to say put you in the ER, that could be trauma forming and create an episodic memory that interferes with your day to day activity.

[@carmagurl317]

​@@jeremywright9511I mean trauma is anything that requires your nervous system. So a small burn incident wouldn't do that permanently necessary but a really big one could, especially if you were already in a certain state.

[@blackbutterfly1785]

Great example!

[@main2333]

Well put!!!

[@krismas6857]

Can't tell you how many times I've been called selfish for not being able to participate with others when stressful events are happening.

[@hodhod9919]

Sometimes it's best to be "selfish" I bet those people would do the same if they were in the same situation.

[@victoryamartin9773]

I get called selfish for confessing that I feel so lonely I think I'm dying or that I'm suffering so much under Narcissistic abuse that I'm becoming suicidal. How do "normal" healthy people interpret these things as selfish?

[@TreeHugger70]

OMGoosshh Exactly. They've judged you before they say anything. Then you try to get them to understand that I can't always handle the overstimulation

[@prayerpower1585]

​@@victoryamartin9773There are people who think being suicidal is selfish. They cannot empathize with it. Don't let that opinion bother you. Try to expand your circle and detach from your abuser.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Sorry you go through that. I pray that things get better for you in Jesus' NAME. AMEN.

[@Reason-gn7lf]

I was sexually abused as a child multiple times by 3 different men. I have been raped by an ex-boyfriend (ended up pregnant), homeless 2 times in my lifetime, had a miscarriage at 16, and overcome drugs and alcohol. I was able to obtain a bachelor's in social work. I always wanted to become a therapist or a lawyer to help people. I love your channel. You inspire me to go back to school and get licensed to become a professional therapist or lawyer. I just need the money now. Lol.

[@kevinspano7315]

You can do it. ❤

[@princessak21]

❤❤

[@preciousone9377]

Apply for grants and scholarships. Go be great!

[@Dangerous_Peace]

💜💜💜

[@nhameed7136]

Your heading in the right direction..

[@Psych2go]

This is such an important message! Trauma is so complex, and it’s not something you can just ‘get over.’ Healing takes time, understanding, and sometimes professional support. It’s great to see more conversations around the science of trauma and how we can approach recovery in a healthier way. Thanks Dr. Tracy for shedding light on this topic-more people need to hear this!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks so much for watching and commenting! 🙏🏽❤️

[@LeahSteel-c3x]

Well said!!!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@RealBradMiller]

It was your channel, Psych2Go that made me realize I needed to escape my dysfunctional family! 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[@ScottBecker-c1k]

OMG, I have chronic post traumatic stress disorder, and I have heard it all throughout my life. "Get over it", "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery" , "Forget about the past" , "Quit living in the past" , "It wasn't as bad as you make it out to be" , "Oh, you're just making this up" , "It's all in your head" , "That's not the way it happened, you just thought it happened that way" , And, oh, one of my favorites when I told someone that I was molested at the age of six on the side of the road with cars passing by "It wasn't that bad, was it?" Yep, I have been told by many people from my past who were suppose to be caring people was that the best way to get over trauma was to just forget that it ever happened, and go on like it never happened. Maybe that is why I had three nervous breakdowns in my life. Thank God for videos like this one to really help me understand what is going on. Thank you for this video.

[@stuart4rd700]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Their advice is bad. Unfortunately, most people are not good at knowing how to comfort others. Seeking your own answers and finding what resonates with you has been more beneficial to me than advice from others. Therapy is a hit or miss. You need a good therapist for it to work.

[@kasondaleigh]

I’m so sorry that you experienced such horrible things. Be strong, yell at those people, break things if you must, but realize YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON WITH THE PROBLEM, THEY ARE. I do feel your pain, my family was similarly simplistic about my abuse, but LOVE YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF, understand that YOU must matter to YOU FIRST, so give yourself love, understanding and time. Then run from those fuckers.

[@gohawks3571]

Much love to you. Idky people have to respond so stupidly. I can understand awkward responses, but the way we've been responded to has been downright rude. Told a friend about being molested as a kid (started at 4. Grew up military, so never had anyone to talk to or trust). I was just starting to try to open up, and friend responded by saying they would have totally destroyed the person, beating them up, etc, on and on for a bit. Not friends now (ashamed to say it took a long time for it to end). Asked my mom for prayer about it, and she says "yOU'rE nOT ovER tHAt yeT?" 🙄 And other not helpful things. On top of other abuse over the years. People talk about the gift of life, and it's a gift I never had. I hate existing. But, I will live for spite, since my parents were stupid enough to produce me in the first place 😠😤🥊🦵🥾💥

[@maatxeats]

I feel you. I understand what you’re going through smh.

[@beverleyreid563]

I have heard it all. Especially when they tell you that you are not a victim but a survivor. Not sure if I am there yet.

[@yerahmlee730]

Embodiment is huge, for everyone who’s reading this, I am a trauma survivor and I’ve spent the last ten years of my life trying to aid myself and recover. My keys takeaway are 1. Swimming 2. Gardening 3. Travel 4. Talk to people

[@michaelcoover9876]

Id add playin music to that list. Play an instrument or listen to music if you cant do that. But the effects on your brain from playing instruments is substantial and theres evidence out there!! Also, swimming is one of the best forms of exercise out there. Do a lot of that when I can too!! Anyhoo…Best wishes to you and your endeavors!

[@KatinaLifeCoach4444]

Thank you for sharing this people always say how they got over something but they never tell how they did❤

[@SK-le4lj]

I recently bought an electronic piano and am now learning to play .. along with being social and other hobbies is truly a blessing 🙏🏽 good luck friends

[@SinNeighbor]

I need to get back into these. All I do now is cry on the couch

[@andreevatheory]

My mix: Talk to safe people PTSD Coach app Adopt four dogs Forest bathing House renovation Write fiction

[@Mystic_Paths]

Trauma leaves deep emotional scars that can trigger intense reactions, even if you consciously try to move on. Things like certain sounds, smells, or situations can remind you of the traumatic event, causing fear, anxiety, or panic

[@tayzonday]

I definitely need medication to aid my neurology in trauma recovery. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy alone doesn’t do it. Medication gets me to a place where CBT has a chance to work.

[@Tinyteacher1111]

I agree! My son has horrible pain from meningitis when he was 7 that damaged his brain and he had mold, Lyme, and Covid. He lost it because of the Lyme and pain, ended up in jail and both he and I are trying to recover from trauma. His health declined again while in jail because they wouldn’t give him the meds and diet he needed to recover, and everything came back and he had seizures. We are both in freeze mode (especially me because I was physically abused by him when he went manic and I’ve been sick for 21 years. I taught high school for 40 years and now I can hardly drive!

[@annemurphy8074]

Good for you for knowing what works for you, it is not easy at all. In my case, I have D.I.D and I had to get off all medications in order to be able to communicate with all parts of our D.I.D system. We were heavily medicated and misdiagnosed for 28 years. It took 6 years to safely get off all of the meds and then it has been a decades long process of very slowly facing all the trauma that I (we) had experienced growing up. It has been a process of reclaiming all parts of myself, embracing and welcoming them no matter what, with a sense of compassion and non judgement. It has been a brutal process, requiring a lot of different kinds of help through good trauma therapy, a two steps forward three steps back. Learning to not be afraid of all the flashbacks, nightmares, body memories and other trauma effects has been key and realizing it will be an ongoing challenge and process has been key too. I'm so grateful to ALL parts of me, for all the sacrifices that we had to make as a collective in order to survive long enough so we could truly live.

[@sussyslurp]

I wouldn't trust any SSRIs due to the horror stories I've heard and experienced from them. Psilocybin regenerates neural pathways, if you have a death drive I'd recommend trying it as many who've done Psilocybin in a safe medicinal environment report a quality of life they never before thought to be possible. As soon as I turn the legal age I'm going to try, if I'm not cynical and nihilistic anymore maybe living will seem possible. A change in how I think about everything would tremendously improve my life for the better.

[@laurent2523]

Thank you Tay, and speaking for myself I couldn’t agree with you more. Sending love and healing and joy to you in abundance, icon 🧡

[@attheranch873]

I’m surprised you didn’t mention EFT, emotional freedom techniques. Some people call it tapping . If a done correctly, it works very well, and it is evidence based now. I’ve used it a lot for the last 15 years on many things. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever found in life for healing.

[@babyboylovesmusic]

It's a living nightmare. Awake and asleep. When I wake up, I instantly think I have to endure this again today. I keep working each day to get better. It just really is hard.

[@Claire-cj6nn]

Every time i watch something on this channel.. I realise.. I just want a hug.. and not all that therapy.. just a hug and someone who sees my grief what i went through all my life and listens... is present.. that is all. I never feel this when i am here ok this channel.. there is nothing wrong with me.. I just need some support once in a while.

[@SpittinFarts]

I hear you 🫂 give yourself a hug for me. I'm happy we can have a mutual connection this way!

[@MitsuSushi]

Agreed. I've done therapy for years, but what I really need is to have a connection with someone, and to feel loved after a lifetime of neglect and rejection... no amount of therapy will ever fix that, no matter how much people tell me that I shouldn't need someone else to be happy. Loneliness is a terrible thing.

[@deborahchuk3507]

​@@MitsuSushiSo true...very well said. 😓

[@zoe4622]

@@MitsuSushiye they always say fix yourself first, love yourself first. But it isnt always like tht. Sometimes u need some hope to get u started on that journey

[@nancyayotte2297]

Sending you a virtual hug honey. Hugs are the best.🌸

[@OrlaFae-z2k]

I have cPTSD, and as my psychiatrist told me, PTSD is technically a brain injury as a result of severe emotional trauma. For those of you who don't know why that is, it's because your neural pathways change and become disrupted in certain areas of the brain. That's why you can't just "move on", you're brain has literally changed and doesn't function in a healthy way anymore in those areas.

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Court assisted, CALLED economic OPPORTUNITY for criminal activity ⬛️🔵🔺️JUST READ ALL THE WARNING LABELS ☎️ON PRODUCTS IN MARKETS FOR LIFESTYLE 🎭 YOU GOt THIS❤

[@Tammygma]

I to, have been diagnosed qith PTSD and it is awful amd so severe its all i think about and ots just horrible for me. I am aware and try to think about others things as much as i possibly can. But its to consuming and had got me caught up in this lige if horror

[@Moezychan]

I've had multiple traumas throughout both my childhood and adult life. It truly does change how your brain is wired. You cannot control when your brain decides to drag you back into the past and suddenly you're a scared child that cannot protect yourself and are faced with that horrible memory all over again. Even my very close friends do not get what my traumas have done to me. They say I take things too seriously and cannot get through to me when I begin to spiral. I have horribly health issues and my digestive tract is horribly affected. Everything you said is accurate and really explains why I'm stuck like this...

[@Tammygma]

truth truth truth! I can not control when my nrain will take me i to my past trauma because its like the trauma starts all over again everyday.

[@michaellaforge83]

Great video. The main takeaway for me was that recovery from trauma is a holistic and individual approach. A human being is affected by things mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. Healing ourselves is multifaceted.

[@probablypoetic8759]

I'm over 20 years past the trauma, and can still be triggered by current events I experience.

[@EphemeralProductions]

I’m 50, and still triggered. lol

[@Tammygma]

Me too! Ten years into a hell on earyh brought on by a human beimg after uears of his abuse i have Schizophrenia and PTSD.

[@gardener3017]

I HAVE LEARNED THAT SUCCESS IS TO BE MEASURED NOT SO MUCH BY THE POSITION THAT ONE HAS REACHED IN LIFE AS BY THE OBSTACLES WHICH HE HAS OVERCOME WHILE TRYING TO SUCCEED. - Booker T. Washington

[@drkarenswrld]

Thanks for this

[@EnerJon]

I've had several days in a row when all I did was make it to the gym for the day. When I got home, I forgave myself and said "maybe tomorrow" and it's perfectly fine.

[@HillaryMarkham]

Many people do not understand that becoming "trauma-informed" requires additional certification. They assume ALL therapists and psychiatrists are and that is simply not the case. Thank you for your important work ❤

[@masterculturedunkerque7918]

They get defensive when you show them that trauma therapy is specialized and not vague. They believe they know better and reaffirm their domination over you if you challenge a little what a professionnal says

[@user-zy1co9hy9m]

the last statement of “ complex trauma is complex and needs a complex way to healing” is something that resonated. I am so hard on myself and feel so guilty and ashamed

[@thisisnttwitterwtf]

I dealt with a lot of physical abuse by my biological mother and her husband. This abuse sometimes including restricting food and even getting beat for not asking for food. I also dealt with a lot of sexual abuse at the hands of two family members. This obviously has created a catastrophe in my brain and as of 4 years ago the catastrophe began in my body. Fibromyalgia, endometriosis, venous compression.. all conditions I have to manage and it becomes so immensely overwhelming I want to hide in a hole and never emerge.. but no one I’m close to has experienced such abuse. They can’t understand how I could say I hate my mother. I’m constantly told to stop being selfish and talk to her. To understand she’s a human with flaws too… but no one seems to see what feels like irreparable damage that’s been done to my entire being. I’m blamed for not loving myself more, for doubting myself.. frustrated even that it seems I’m stuck in the same mental cycles… it becomes disheartening.. am I really the creator of my own sorrows? The religion one makes me the most angry though, “don’t you think if you believed in god you would suffer less?” I feel stuck in a world that has no clue what sits in the fibers of my being… but videos like these.. they help. And I remember that there are doctors like you who work avidly to understand, treat, and show compassion to people who feel so damaged. Thank you, really.

[@dancybee3015]

You are not alone.❤

[@gillauld2965]

❤️❤️

[@eatplastic9133]

You're not obligated to talk to you mother. Take care of yourself

[@deanna6042]

😢 I mask my traumas with happiness, but it's joy that I'm seeking. I think that once I find my joy, I'll be healed and truly happy.

[@IzzyNChrist]

Believing in God is only a very small part of the healing equation. Faith is a journey not the destination. I speak from experience. I understand how you feel and I can relate to some of what you say.

[@Morrisbraga-jm9lc]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD, spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder, not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean, much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

[@canerbakar-jv2si]

I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.

[@ErnestoHorner88]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

[@Owemruther-hk4zn]

Can I reach this dude through Google?

[@joethomas-x6q]

Yes he's Pedroshrooms. I know few friends who no longer suffer ptsd and anxiety with the help of shrooms. Never had to take shrooms after then.

[@SergenYld]

I too love hearing about others that have made it back.I got addicted cause of a car accident in 2007 that I am still in pain from,that doctors say is only arthritis then they took my pain meds and put me suboxone since Sept 2nd 2021. Even if I take it or not I still have that pain, so afraid I'm gonna get sucked back in to the pills cause I can't even work but can't get disability either so idk what folks like me do but prayer is all I have done and still the pain so idk anymore 😢 sorry for rambling. Just searched on chrome and sent him a message. I would really love to go with this treatment as well

[@spacegirl226]

I told my mother I was going to have GET OVER IT! etched on her tombstone. Thank you for this informative video, Tracey. Working through a lifetime of neglect and abuse is incredibly difficult.

[@BunnyDarko]

When I was grieving the loss of the Great Love of My Life, my mother sent me a book called *"F^ckingt DEAL with It!"* - a journal for "getting the hell on with your life" and "Bonus Points(!!) if you use crayons you bought at a craft store when you were DEPRESSED" 🥺 SMH

[@ladennayoung2939]

They tend to do that because they are weak minded and choose not to deal with certain issues. They attacked you for choosing to address issues they should have addressed and dealt with long ago. In some cases, people in your family may call you selfish or whatnot. But you have to choose to accept how someone is. You can't force them to change and be who or what you want them to be. Choose to do what is best for you and seek help. You didn't come across this video randomly or by mistake. I pray that you choose to know Christ for yourself if you haven't already done so in Jesus' name. I pray your strength in the Lord in Jesus' name. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. HALLELUJAH. AMEN.

[@ashleyconnor8891]

@@BunnyDarkoi am sad you had to deal with that. Your mother was WRONG. You are allowed to feel how you feel.

[@spacegirl226]

@@BunnyDarko completely insensitive and mean. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for your idiotic parental unit.

[@BunnyDarko]

@@spacegirl226 thank you so much for saying that 💜

[@theresarts482]

I lived next door to my grandmother for ten years. I was in and out her house everyday. We moved the summer she passed. I sat with her in the hospital all day every weekday. My mom only knew she had lost a mother, not that I lost the quiet, most stable adult in my life. I didn’t cry because there was no one to care. I was sent off with cousins I barely knew. For the next twenty-five years every time I started to say anything about her I’d choke up. Later when I started therapy for an imminent divorce I was talking about my grandmother. I started crying, not choked up, crying streams of tears, for a month. I haven’t been choked up talking about her since. What struck me was those tears had been stuck in me for twenty five years. Once I was in a place someone cared I could cry them. Let go of them. As long as we feel grief we should allow it to be. Because if you don’t express it it will be stuck inside until you give it space, permission to come out. Your grief is uniquely yours. Express it in a way and as long as it feels right for you. God bless us all.

[@FoxxyFire-HellFrost]

I was just diagnosed with PTSD this year and the first time I heard that, I was shocked because I thought that was reserved for people who went to war or survived horrible accidents, but my therapist explained that being diagnosed with cancer at 8 years old and continually fighting it and everything caused by it caused my PTSD and because I never addressed it as such, I've never been able to heal properly. My parents think I just "won't let it go" (the ostracization and bullying I went through as a kid), they don't understand that those moments (along with the cancer) are the bedrock of my major depressive disorder and PTSD.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

People like to act like mental illness or trauma-related disability is a CHOICE. I've heard the quote "Life is 10% what happened to me and 90% how I respond to it." This simply isn't true, and reinforces the idea of it as a choice. A ton of people act like it's your fault if you aren't 100% instantly cured after enduring horrors. Even my own ab*ser loved this attitude because it meant I was "weak" for letting his ab*se affect me or affect my ability to cater to his needs while having none of my own. I've also been told I shouldn't identify as disabled due to PTSD, shouldn't have a "victim mentality", and shouldn't identify as a victim because it's self-pitying and prevents me from "moving on". Society has this ableist notion that mentally ill people are "burdens" on systems and people around them, and so they expect magical and instantaneous recovery and productivity from victims who have endured the unimaginable. Society's toxic positivity teaches us that acknowledging our pain and being vulnerable (such as admitting we were harmed or refusing to forgive our ab*sers) is a form of weakness. The scrutiny survivors/victims face is almost worse than that placed on the perpetrators of harm sometimes. I also think the mentality of "trauma makes you stronger" because it creates an unrealistic expectation for victims. That we'll be inspirational superhero figures giving TED talks and accomplishing amazing feats in a society that measures individual worth by what we produce. The "perfect survivor" also doesn't need any help or support, and as someone who was surrounded by selfish people who refused to help me when I needed them, of course they loved the "get over it" mentality. It justified their selfishness. What doesn't kill us doesn't always make us stronger. Survivors can develop seizures, autoimmune disorders, mental disorders, addictions, become disabled and unemployed. In Promising Young Woman, the main character who lost her friend has to drop out of medical school and live with her mother ... and sadly, that's a likely reality for many survivors.

[@jillwklausen]

I am witnessing you with compassion and understanding. 🙏🏼🌹

[@jillwklausen]

@@Jasmine_Tookes, just offer compassion and listen. Spending quality time with the person is also helpful. Invite them for walks, to go to a movie or to come over and hang out. Netflix and binge together. Just be their friend. It's no more difficult than that.

[@jillwklausen]

@@Jasmine_Tookes, "Hi, friend. That's just your anxiety talking. Trust that if I don't respond immediately, it's because of circumstances in my own life and has nothing to do with how much I care about you. I promise that if there is ever a problem, I will be direct with you, not silence you out. Can we agree on that?" If she keeps trying to hold you responsible for her anxiety, she has more work to do, and you need to consider your own boundaries. That may necessitate you telling her that she has broken the agreement to show you grace when you aren't able to respond immediately, so you need to extricate yourself from the distress that it's causing you. We can't fix everyone no matter how much we love them. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this friendship. 🌹

[@shinigami956]

I'm afraid of never getting better, and not being able to be self-sufficient

[@madamejaysynstarotoriginal]

You’ll be ok soon ❤

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray your strength in the LORD IN JESUS' NAME. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. HALLELUJAH. AMEN.

[@Tammygma]

3ven though i still live by myslef and my dig of course, i feel the same way as uouve stated. I am scared to death to be alone for any amlunt of time. I have PTSD and schizophrenia and everyday thank the lord above that i am atill alive to see another day. I am a miracle to be here still on this earth fro the truama and abuse that i have suffered. ❤

[@allahisgangsta]

💔

[@joshhenchman9810]

I had a panic attack last year that triggered a 4 month long DP/DR episode. I had no idea what was going on, my vision was blurry, depth perception was way off, light sensitivity, and had insane head pressure and vertigo. I thought I had broke my brain. I didn’t sleep for months. Even after a year later and a lot of self work to heal. I can still feel the Trauma from that fearful event stuck in my body. It’s mind blowing how once you pass that fear threshold, your body takes receipts

[@jimthechaosbunny]

Um, just checking, did you get checked out by a doc?

[@joshhenchman9810]

@@jimthechaosbunny many, yes. And 2 mental health wards.

[@jimthechaosbunny]

@@joshhenchman9810 glad you got checked, I wouldn't have expected most of that to come along with a panic attack!

[@jillwklausen]

Josh, I am witnessing you with understanding and compassion. I experienced medically induced severe anxiety when an irresponsible doctor overdosed me on thyroid medication and ignored my pleas for help for months. I also didn't sleep for months, my body shook like it was shivering all day long, I was in a constant state of fear, dread, and panic, I was a sobbing ball of nerves. And even after I was properly diagnosed and my medication was adjusted to the point that my blood work appeared normal, my brain would not let go of that severe trauma response. I tried everything under the sun to get it under control, and I do mean everything, from medication to meditation, grounding, CBT, somatic shaking, non sleep deep rest, every breathing technique known to man, vasal vagus nerve stimulation, progressive muscle relaxation and so much more. If they invented it for anxiety, I tried it. And then my therapist recommended I try a non-invasive therapy called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, where a super strong magnet is placed against your head that sends pulses into your brain to stimulate neuroplasticity toward healing. I figured, why not, nothing else has worked, so I may as well give it a shot. And I am so glad I did. It literally saved my life. And I do mean literally, because until I started TMS therapy, I was suicidal. Look into whether there are any clinics in your area. It's FDA approved and covered by most major insurance carriers. It could be the thing that resets your brain so you can be at peace again like happened for me. I wish you well in your journey. 🙏🏼

[@Arlo-y1q]

Had the same exact experience for 4 months, constant panic attacks, dpdr and to this day I'm so grateful I overcame it, I understand how scary it can be and the trauma from it is not a joke

[@electra4623]

My "friend" told me the other day :"How was it rape if he was your boyfriend". I cannot believe that there are still people who think like that. Plus she is not stupid, she is an educated person, went to med school, and I still can't believe that came out of her mouth. Oh, and she has said numerous times how can I still be affected after almost 20 years. Even though that relationship lasted for two years, abuse began after a month and I escaped, literally after his aunt helped me when I was in a state of not caring whether I live or die. The question "Why didn't gou leave?" I get very often when I speak on that period of my life. Are people so desensitised or...? I can't find the answer. 😢

[@SibyllaCumana]

I feel you. Still processing something similar myself

[@electra4623]

​@@SibyllaCumanaThank you so much, it means a lot to know that at least one person, no matter how far away, understands why I have no other place besides YT comments to talk about my pain. I do try to leave it behind me but "friends" can trigger it harder than other stuff may. This might come off as a word sallad and am sorry if it did, but I am out of myself the last couple of weeks bc of her minimising all that I went through. Her excuse for being such a b-i-tch is that she left one minute after her long-time partner slapped her,not to mention she had her familie's back and resources to get away. I had no one, nowhere to go and God knows I tried. One eg. He told me that he didn't mind if I left, I immediately got up and went to the door.. Next thing I remember is being pulled by my ponytail and dragged back to the room where he beat me up so bad, got my ribs broken while laughing and saying :"Did you really think I would let you leave like that", while laughing like a demon he was. The look on "the friend's" face gave of Nah,that didn't happen. I am done with her, now I only need time to forget about those events, again. But I know it too shall pass, and friends, I hope I find with more empathy than those I lost bc of him. Sorry for the rant, fr fr, I am sorry bc you gave me a hand and I took your arm😅Sending ❤and🙏

[@lisa2000geese]

I'm sorry you have heard such insensitive comments and questions from these people when you needed compassion and support. Sometimes people have high overall intelligence but low emotional intelligence. And many people oversimplify and believe myths about abuse because it makes THEM feel safe, like thinking 'I could control a situation like that and would never have that problem myself.' That is their coping strategy to feel safe. And then people who have actually been abused and know things aren't that simple or controllable get stuck hearing their ignorant comments.

[@Tammygma]

I am ao aorry for the ihnorance of others. I hope you are healing everyday. Loves from me to you ❤

[@kellyely9113]

People can be cruel, especially those close to you as their opinions matter deeply as opposed to the general public. I'm very sorry your friend hurt you with her ignorant words, and I know that a traumatized woman is more likely to develop freeze and fawn (rather than fight or flight), making leaving a dangerous environment almost impossible until you have detached from that person enough to save yourself. Do not blame yourself for anything your abusive ex did, simply allow yourself to release and replace the past with the present and things that bring you joy. I hope you keep moving forward in your road to recovery ❤

[@TheJofurr]

An underrated component of persistent trauma is being compelled to conform to and participate in the society that allowed you to be traumatized to begin with. So not only are you treated like a freak and an inconvenience for turning out differently from adapting to the hostile formative environment to which you were subjected, but you're forced to work for the benefit of that society and perhaps worst of all, you're expected to appreciate the opportunity to do so. This is often ignored because that same society will greedily resist change or restitution to the bitter end. Just something to think about for a future video!

[@thetinaexperience7000]

They'll be on their knees in an apocalypse. 😂

[@jillwklausen]

Hear, hear! Capitalism is terrorism. I'm never voting for the red or blue psychopaths who've organized our society to benefit the wealthy few and leave us to suffer indignity and trauma. Ever. I vote either Socialist or Green, depending on who's on my ballot. We could flip this thing on its head if we did so collectively. Most of us are too brainwashed into compliance through fear, I'm afraid. Most days, I'm just glad I'm old so I won't have to live through the worst of the inevitable collapse.

[@evadebruijn]

I feel this and feel so lucky I was born in a so called "socialist" country where I can live a decent life while on disability. The urge still exists though. To slay the dragon once and for all. This One day my time will come type of feeling. Because trauma gives a crp toolbox for life but the potential that is inherent is still there. I will never keep hoping I can get to a place I feel I turned my experience into something I can provide others with. But until then it is working my a off to stay regulated and keep afloat the bare essentials of daily life and not fall into the pit of depression where nothing gets done and my health suffers for it (dentist are so expensive, prevention is key, but when depressed? Just another daunting task to brush) 🍀✌️

[@masterculturedunkerque7918]

If you say something about it, either you are punished or dismissed. People want us to suffer in silence

[@TheJofurr]

@@masterculturedunkerque7918 Well it's like my dad always said: "it's good to want things."

[@wirtification]

I had a STEMI, 100% blocked and I would have died if I had waited to call 911, I was not sure I was having a heart attack. I told MYSELF, get over it! But, it dosen't work that way. I am still working through it... She's right. Don't be afraid to seek help. It was very good to hear this video.

[@jeffperry8068]

Thank you so much..

[@lowerlowerhk]

Recognizing that intensity of trauma is unrelated to how it is perceived by outsider helps a ton for both victims and those who want to help. Encouraging victims to tough it out or shrug it off is low key refusal to recognize their suffering.

[@RYUShotokan]

You never get over it , you just learn how to live with it. Sometimes you have good days then bad days

[@dawnofthedelts]

This. Allowing life to defeat you will cause even more trauma because you withdraw from life. And the longer you're out of commission, the harder it is to bring yourself back.

[@RYUShotokan]

@dawnofthedelts exactly,all we can do is the best we can to live with it and deal with it when the bad days happen the best we can and enjoy the good days when her have them ,either way live your life to its absolute fullest.

[@avereynakama9854]

Wow, I've heard "GET OVER IT!!!" so much from people that 1. never cared what I was going through and 2. were the CAUSE of a lot of our stress. They oversimplified everything I went through, and it became harder to properly judge whether new situations I've faced were serious or genuinely "no big deal." I think I'll try some of these to help release some of the "stuck" memories, especially stretching and yoga. Thank you for this video.

[@MultiTipsie]

Hi there, That is the spiral downwards where most people talk you into! People only want to connect to "mentally healthy" and successful people! Eric Clapton (and maybe others) already sang about it long time ago; "Nobody wants to know you when you are down and out!" So true!

[@Tinyteacher1111]

I could have written this!

[@SquigglesFluffystuff]

This, I have someone in my life like that as well. He says he's says he's reached his limit and can't sympathize or have empathy for me anymore. It hurts because he's empathic and loving towards everyone but me. Just writing makes the tears swelling up in my eyes.

[@MultiTipsie]

@@SquigglesFluffystuff I wish you well, Rosey! Hopefully, you have enough support from others!🙏

[@reychfish]

I relate, ironically, it would come from people who I just knew would absolutely hate being told the same and would've handled it worse than I have. I wish you peace and healing.

[@mstcherie13]

I think trauma shaming is ingrained in our society even with us knowing that trauma is difficult to get over. For example if someone appears quiet and withdrawn for a long period we often as a society just expect them to learn to get over it just be happy and be positive and move on. We project that so often and it can cause further invalidation from trauma sufferers. Most people thatbhave gone through things understand that it has changed them some choose to ignore it but we shouldn't look to those as the solution. Not everyone deals with things by ignoring it and moving on as quick as they can but we REALLY need to accept that instead of just saying we understand.

[@thetinaexperience7000]

People that tell you to get over trauma never suffered anything, lack originality, and usually die first in horror films. 😂😂😂😂

[@curiouslyme524]

Thank you, Dr. Marks. I have DID, C-PTSD, & MDD because of very severe trauma from childhood & adolescence. I've been struggling very badly lately with suicidality & thinking I'm just an incompetent failure at life. Thank you.

[@sandrawadsworth5173]

Agreed. As a victim of a SA at gunpoint, even though it happened many years ago, I still re-live it over and over. It will never go away even at age 70, as I am now.

[@VicMeep]

I hope you're happier now despite the grueling expierence coming back to haunt you time to time 🫂 I hope you have effective therapists near you to battle what happened to you so it won't ever haunt you for the rest of your days

[@Brett_trejo11]

I spent so many years of my life under the spell of cigarettes, depression and severe ptsd. Gained my freedom with the help of nature using mushroom (psilocybin) precisely. After my experience with shrooms five years ago every cigarette I lit up tasted like literal poison. I would take one hit and put out the cigarette. I haven't smoked since, no more depressive mood and ptsd. Few doses of shroom experience made a 15 year 2 pack a day smoker quit instantly. Shrooms are life changing. There is no way you can put into words what it feels like..

[@Morrisbraga-jm9lc]

I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.

[@ErnestoHorner88]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

[@canerbakar-jv2si]

Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.

[@Owemruther-hk4zn]

Can I reach this dude through Google?

[@MartFrancis]

Yes he's Pedroshrooms. I know few friends who no longer suffer ptsd and anxiety with the help of shrooms. Never had to take shrooms after then.

[@tabithadefee5390]

I experienced a lot of trauma as a child. But, with years of therapy and a supportive network of people who have been rooting for me, I've been able to get my life back and grow into a healthy adult.

[@TheYummymummy888]

That’s wonderful! Keep enjoying ❤

[@criticalcredo]

LITERALLY halfway into this video and i just paused it because i almost broke down. i appreciate this page and your contributions so much...

[@weightlossandwellness]

Thank you for the video. I wish a lot of this had been understood in the late 80's when I had my breakdown after an abusive childhood. I was further traumatized by the hospitals who were supposed to be helping me. The stigma back then was awful too. It's so hard to heal from a lifetime of abuse but we're blessed to have doctors like you who care and offer help.

[@imi_xo]

Phenomenal video. Running, daily stretches, daily time in nature, writing 10 things I'm grateful for each day, therapy, and journalling, helped me heal after an abusive relationship. Also, wow - neuro-plasticity is amazing.

[@kavitadeva]

Dr Tracy, I just came across your channel tonight. So glad I did. I am a 66-year-old woman and I suffer from severe COMPLEX PTSD, treatment resistant severe depression. I have major meltdowns, if I had to use one word that has made living so difficult is getting OVERWHELMED so easily. It's quite a bummer not being able to regulate my emotions. As you pointed out the body takes the Trauna on. I am Chronically ill, I have ME/CFS I have so many problems I am now disabled. I have done so much therapy since I was 16. And to me no matter what, there will always be a brokenness. No therapists on KZbin should claim they have something that can promise a total healing. I hate how I have ended up . Thank You for talking about Trauma.

[@debrarogerssilvey3909]

Thank you! I have searched this internet upside down and sideways to try to front a simple explanation as to why I have not been able to move forward at the rate I really want to. This is the best video by far to help people understand. It's not a here today. Gone tomorrow type of deal! No Bells no Whistles just just simple explanations as to why reliving this is possible and how to make it stop is also possible!

[@eriamhsl3841]

Listen to Dr. K, AKA the healthy gamer. Has a great explanation on his podcast w diary of a ceo

[@sandyroberts-d6e]

It can take weeks, months, or even years to get over trauma. Some people think oh you can just, block it out of your mind. This is so not ture. The memories of it stay with you for a long time. You are fantastic Dr Tracy, so insightful, and understanding.😊 Bless you.

[@gardener3017]

People that "block it out" almost always have a breakdown sooner or later. If you don't deal with it, it becomes its own little monster & it will take you down.

[@Laugh-Live-Love]

Or you never get over it

[@TelosDextroza]

Or a lifetime, even can take your life.

[@music0cool]

Lol weeks and months?? Try decades, a life time

[@just.An0therRand0m]

True. ​@@gardener3017

[@malemaline]

I've tried therapy for the past ten years to help me with my trauma and haven't found anything that truly helped me. Some things eased it but it's mostly a lot of work and research I had to do ti myself.

[@ArtisticMysticSoul]

Same.

[@PassionateFlower]

That's because therapy doesn't heal trauma. Imagine trying to cure your cancer with talk therapy. Or a head injury from a serious car accident. We suffered an internal injury. Imagine suffering from internal bleeding and going to a therapist once a week who asks you how you're feeling and you say, "I feel like I'm drying and bleeding internally and need help to stop the bleeding so that I don't die..." and the therapist responds, "Instead of focusing on the negative like you FEEL like you're internally bleeding let's focus on the Positives such as, at least you have blood."

[@PassionateFlower]

And if we knew what truly healed trauma then we wouldn't have a widespread mental health crisis.

[@PassionateFlower]

Basically there's no cure for PTSD yet. We haven't found it as a species. The Solution.

[@malemaline]

@@ArtisticMysticSoul so disappointing. I'm actually finding chatGPT more helpful

[@muminabegum7466]

I’m 28 and I’m still feeling very traumatised by something physical that happened to me when I was 17. This is because one of my close friends has turned 17 just over 2 months ago and I’m feeling very worried about her as a result of this as I don’t want her to fall into the same trap as me. I’m constantly looking for things to keep myself busy as a way off taking my mind off it like regular exercise, talking to a family member or a friend, going on walks etc and my big brother got me a stress ball as part of my coping mechanism. Thanks for the video xxx 💙

[@ToGoMania19]

Thank you, Dr. Marks! As a veteran with service-connected PTSD I always appreciate your insight. People don’t “get it”, and I’ve lost many friends and jobs because of the PTSD and depression resulting from my experiences. I recently underwent Written Exposure Therapy, which has helped, but not solved my challenges. I anticipate EMDR in my treatment. Mindfulness and ACT have been powerful for me. I’m in an Intensive Outpatient Program and will continue this set of therapies to further grow and live a better life.

[@THEJ0KER8888]

Prayers for continued healing. I also have PTSD that went undiagnosed and untreated for 3± years and frankly if it wasn't for my pro bono therapist I would have been dead 4 years ago. I'm currently only receiving talk therapy which is nice but I would consider myself to be realistically untreated even today. Finding Jesus again has helped me more than anything knowing that in the future living in eternity I will be healed again forever. He's my Hope. I currently can only deal with anyone for about 2 hours then depending on how much life they've sucked out of me will determine the number of days it takes to recover. It's hard. Looking forward to my eternal future because I don't see anything changing in this lifetime. God bless and do better for us all 🙌🙌🙌❤❤❤

[@ToGoMania19]

@@THEJ0KER8888 My PTSD was diagnosed in 2017. The trauma took place in 1978 - about 39 years. The symptoms are not always easy to diagnose and treat.

[@THEJ0KER8888]

@@ToGoMania19Prayers for you thanks for sharing. You’re amazing 🙌🏻❤️

[@iluvsubliminals]

I've been through physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse during my childhood therefore I have complex traumas so this makes sense.

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

Thanks! I have watched this video 10 for hours with the caption. I have 5 MH DX I see dr for meds only and therapist to talk. No one has sat down and explained why I am the way I sm effectively you summed it up. I have been traumatized and endured prolong trauma. How I’m affected was explained this helped secure my invalidation and made me aware of what therapy to seek. Thank you

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks so much for the super chat. I’m so glad you can now feel validated 😊❤️

[@antonydrossos5719]

It’s the overwhelming isolation. Men are constantly being told “OH, you need to ‘do the work’!”, but then when we try to look for support, THEN we’re told, “Oh, ‘man-up’, it is that bad/it’s all your own fault!”. It’s faqen exhausting, and sometimes it just feels easier to isolate and self-medicate

[@kathymonteiro3533]

10 years since my most significant trauma. I’m surviving but if I sit and think about it, it’s back again as if yesterday. I accept I will never be the same, but I’m more aware when I become fearful or anxious. Still don’t like it, but learning to live with trauma….I’m here, I’m surviving 🙌🏽

[@clownboyyyy]

really good vid for people dealing with PTSD. i've had it since childhood and its wild how many people gaslight trauma survivors about our problems

[@MR-pr8tp]

Just landed on this video and as always your presentation and explanations are fantastic. I always learn and understand so much more. I can connect with your advice. I am a senior and was bullied by a neighbor , and couldn't convince the police he was stalking and threatening to harm my pets that never came near him. He entered my home without invitation but denied it. I finally got the police involved, ordered him off my property,, but it only got worse. His anger and rage scared me. He would not give it up-even after a year. I was scared to go out and even shop running into him at the store with him causing a scene. My physician and psychiatrist both told me to move; that it would affect me mentally and is not about being "tough' as my sisters kept recommending. Or that I was just sensitive. Finally I moved but even after 2 years, am still affected by the drama. I endured it too long and yet one tries to rationalize the issues. Thanks for the hope that it can be improved upon with mindfulness, meditation, yoga etc. Your KZbin channel is indeed a hope for people with life drama.

[@lifeoncherrystreet]

Thanks for this helpful information! There are also millions of people suffering with complex trauma due to complicated chronic illnesses that are difficult to manage and treat. This is a big one that is often overlooked in the trauma recovery spaces. Sending love to anyone dealing with this! This particular cause of complex trauma creates multiple layers of mind/body stress. When your body itself is actually the cause of the trauma, trauma recovery can be especially difficult to navigate. Sending so much love to anyone reading this that is facing that reality. Take good care of yourself. ❤❤❤

[@Awakenedsoul1111]

Trauma is a lifelong recovery process 💯 especially childhood trauma involving sexual, physical, verbal, neglectful, and emotional abuse.With a good support system the healing process is easier, but when you have to go through the process alone it's that much harder, and yes the most insensitive "advice" from others is the infamous get over it, or just forget about it! that's the only advice I received growing up from those that were supposed to help me through it, and it's even more damaging. Thank you for this video ♥️🙏🏻♥️ I'm a survivor 🙌🏻🙏🏻

[@Zyenthillias]

This is so absolutely profound. A wealth of insights, really, but as someone who hasn't endured nearly the depth of hurt and depravity that many in the comments have, I'll just speak on the point that I feel I have the most firsthand experience with: "What is traumatic to one person may not be traumatic to others." Wow. I was just diagnosed with ADHD and severe GAD this year at the age of 36, and have been SO incredibly hard on myself that I "shouldn't be struggling so hard" and "my life wasn't that bad" and wondering why I was chronically, perpetually exhausted just trying to do what everyone around me considers "normal" or "baseline". The more I've learned about the actual, physical differences for the ADHD brain, combined with a lifetime of being undiagnosed, untreated, told I'm "overreacting/too sensitive/not trying hard enough" or "this isn't difficult", I realize it's been a devastating cumulative effect and I've had to work really really hard to start countering all those messages. It's like I've even been gaslighting *myself* for many of those years that I shouldn't be feeling/experiencing what I have. Anyway, phenomenal video. I'll be sharing this with my husband and best friend, as they would benefit immensely from this message as well. Thank you Dr. Tracey for seeing and acknowledging what all of us in the comments have experienced, even if it "doesn't look that bad" on the outside. ❤

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

There are so many things that trauma does to the brain and body that no one is talking about. That most can't and don't understand. One of the most harmful things I've come to grips with is healing may take the rest of my life or not come at all. Another thing is how important it is to be around others with similar experiences. When you don't see yourself reflected in others it sets up this crushing cycle of loneliness. Also, a lot of the things we're told to do on our own offers only minimal help or is just maintenance. We need support and we need connection, but we can't force that to happen.

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

Love you, lady. You helped me so much. You are a blessing.

[@UTP504]

She truly is❤️.

[@houndmother2398]

I also wanted to say thank you for doing this work, Dr. Marks. I got my masters in health education about 20 years ago and recall thinking how great it would be if someone would use our techniques to educate about mental health.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

I’ve had a couple of very loving relationships that became very toxic over time, and ended tragically by me getting dumped, taking the breakups VERY hard. I don’t have a choice as this is just how I am. I am very serious in terms of love and am overwhelmed when I get abandoned by the person I love after months or years. I am always the only one who experiences the intense anxiety and heartache since I am always the one being dumped. I’m now 42 and I believe I need to go on medication just so that I can cope with getting through each day without feeling immense anxiety, depression and severe heartache. 😞💔 I cry almost every day or night.

[@Gothgalactica]

Hi love. I just turned 47 on Sunday. I relate so much personally to your comment. I understand what you’re saying deeply. Wish we were neighbors or friends or something. It would mean the world to have someone who understands how deeply heartache can mess you up. Sending you love. I so understand. 🫂❤️‍🩹

[@aujah2416]

Although this comment was made two months ago, I hope you’ve found solice and healing since then. You are enough❤

[@belent8336]

Just want to express so grateful for you Dr. Marks and your work. From what I've seen, you're not about trying to get us to sign up for anything, but about the welfare of your viewers. And I'm sure others would echo the same sentiment. So, thank you.

[@studiozazuvt]

Dr. Marks, I admire your videos so much. A few minutes into your trauma segment, I found myself starting to cry. I was taken by surprise, but immediately understood what was occurring. My response clearly indicated that the traumas I experienced in my life remain and I am 70. I have gone to a psychiatrist for my entire adult life. Imagine how I would have responded to your trauma segment without all the intervention I have had! At that moment of starting to cry, two huge trauma sources rushed into my head, and that instant access gave me all the information I needed to know. I have managed to function pretty well in my life, but these traumas are with me for good. Padlocked. ......thank you so very VERY much for your wonderful work and your dedication to sharing your expertise with the general public.

[@jillwklausen]

I am 63 years old, and when I'd exhausted every other method known to man to heal the damage caused to my brain from a medical trauma two years ago that persisted unrelentingly, my therapist recommended Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. It's non-invasive, non-medical, and uses the science of neuroplasticity to stimulate blood flow to the parts of the brain that are stuck. It saved my life, literally. Your brain is never too old or too fixed to heal itself. See if it's offered near you. I highly recommend it. Wishing you well.

[@Eaugene]

Im praying for everyone in this comment section ! Last February i suffered a severe panic attack that caused a 7 month DP/DR episode. I felt like I was losing my mind. Last night I again suffered panic attacks but thank god I was able to maintain.

[@moniques1377]

This has got to be the BEST summary I've ever heard / watched about trauma!! Thank you very very very much for this video!!!

[@Nowshepaints]

This is why it’s important to subscribe … I hadn’t been giving my algorithm much in this area lately, and a trauma happened recently. This video popped up just in time! Had I not been subscribed, it probably wouldn’t have.

[@TheRandomINFJ]

Healing is a journey in and of itself.

[@Dancestar1981]

I’m sick to death of it. I’m neurodivergent I’ve been traumatised my entire life because of the way society has treated me we just don’t get over it. We never do. We want our rights respected and to live our lives free from coercive control and in our own way that works for us

[@travelwell6049]

Thank you for explaining everything. Giving different options and explaining how they work. Sometimes it can feel a bit invalidating when your therapist tells you to go for a walk in nature like that’s going to fix 25 years of debilitating mental health issues and trauma.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Right? Sigh….💔😒😞

[@SophiliaLarkPhD]

I appreciate the through break down of how trauma gets embedded into the nervous system. Yes, trauma has profound and lasting impacts on both the brain and body. It’s not something that can simply be willed away. Trauma can and often disrupts the natural rhythms of connection, safety, and trust, leaving individuals in a state of heightened stress and disconnection. Evidence-based therapies like EMDR, cognitive processing, and narrative exposure can be invaluable, but what often makes the biggest difference is integrating culturally-relevant, mind-body practices that honor the individual’s lived experiences. These approaches not only address the physiological effects of trauma but also restore a sense of wholeness and community. Recovery is indeed possible, especially when interventions are tailored to meet people where they are. Thank you for highlighting the importance of compassionate, informed support!

[@r.1599]

I learned the other day that while there isn't a gene for anxiety and depression, there _is_ a gene for stress sensitivity. Those who are more sensitive to stress are the ones who are going to be deeply impacted by trauma. Those without the gene for it don't understand why everyone else doesn't just "get over it". They need to understand that stress and trauma affects everyone differently, and that they're lucky. Their experience is not baseline.

[@acurarsxtype-s5129]

Dr. Tracey Marks is f*#&in BRILLIANT! This is one of the most lucid, intelligent, well ordered, articulate, and complete videos I've ever seen on psychology, maybe anything. Broke down this subject PERFECTLY

[@__rachel___]

Oh my gosh this is RIGHT on time thank You Jesus. I went through a traumatic loss this summer and just started counseling to get through it! Glad this noti popped up

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re So welcome!

[@zasta7]

Came here to say that. I was walking around with a friend in my backyard thinking about the traumatic experiences in my life. Came back in, grabbed my phone and this video shows right up in my feed. Talk about timing. Btw, that friend was me myself. ;)

[@eeronat]

People who say "get over it" are, without exception, traumatized themselves; but don't want to know it. You are almost reminding them of their trauma and that makes you unsafe to them.

[@debraraby4376]

Dear Dr Marks, thank you so much for this video. You have compressed so much valuable and life-affirming information in a short video. I'm going to bookmark it and watch it frequently. And, do/implement some of your recommendations too. It's so lovely, as a woman in my 60's, to realise that not everything is my fault, and perhaps whatever time that I have left can be more joyful. Thanks again x

[@h3yjvd325]

I did the first too therapies that Dr mentions, and I can honestly say they’ve saved my life. Thank God I found such a committed and professional therapist. Now, I’m working on incorporating other practices like mindfulness (recommended by my therapist), yoga, and journaling, CoDA groups. It’s been a lot of hard work over the years, but it’s all been worth it. 🙏🏽✨

[@Mallowolf]

Great video. The explanation about things getting stored in the nervous system instead of the brain makes a lot of sense

[@EricKorbly]

Understanding that figuring out life’s challenges takes a lifetime has embedded in me a peaceful patience. No fix for sure but a relief.

[@barcodekilla1138]

I have so much trauma but channeling all that pain in to improving my self makes me forget all the trauma, atleast thats what i feel on the inside, the problem is i have issues controlling my negative emotions when im buzzed "i dont drink often" but when i do, it doesn't take much to make restless and relentless

[@homeontherange733]

Your suggestions are exactly the path i chose about 15 years ago. When i finally sought help, my Doctors wanted to put me on SSRI's and Benzos. For some people the first one is beneficial. I could not take the side effect for the SSRI's personally. As for the benzo's, i researched them until my eye's bled:) For me the cure was worst than the disease. Never took them. Having gone this path you suggested has been of benefit. Love your channel and thanks for bringing this subject up.

[@stellaancimer8505]

I had sezirues, totaly paralysis, extreme fear, flash backs, I couldn't speak, talk, going out of the apartment. Meds where crutial for me, and talk therapy 😊

[@gauri-uo3px]

This video is really good. I have been suffering from trauma since ages which has also affected my ability to hear, think, remember, speak etc. I now stay away from human beings as much as possible & would love to live somewhere close to nature by leaving my country which is all about challenges & negative vibes. Hope that auspicious day arrives soon. One cannot have simple, normal life by being with difficult people.

[@sheestrange]

This is the one! Truly celebrating the affirming explanation of the whyyyyy! When I tell you this video share took a weight off. I thank you and so aporeciate you Dr. Marks ❤

[@thelonelynixie3]

I hope I could share this to all the people who don't understand my situation but because they are Christians, they refuse to understand this. I was constantly told to get over it, the past is the past, don't go back there and move on. While I understand that these words are well-meaning, listening first and not invalidating our feelings and experience would really help to make us feel understood and for future healing.

[@MidlifeEdit]

Dr. Marks you are a gift

[@cassiestevens8382]

Thanks!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome and thank YOU!! 🙏🏽❤️

[@YvonneMikell]

😮 I dont think we forget, we forgive! We hold on to it so that we wont let it happen to us again! At least for me, this is my story, i remind myself no matter how nice they are--I remember what they did, how they showed me their true selves, and if I give them half a chance they will do it again and probably succeed the second time around! WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU THEIR TRUE SELVES, BELIEVE WHAT YOUR EYES ARE SEEING, GET AWAY AND STAY AWAY FROM THEM!!!

[@KarenPeterman-m1r]

I have finally accepted that I will never completely heal. I am better than I was but at 65 I feel it's as good as it gets

[@babayaga489]

I just turned 60 and feel the same way… I’ll do the best that I can for my remaining time on this planet. Love to you from Australia Karen. 💗🇦🇺

[@KarenPeterman-m1r]

@@babayaga489 thank you. Hugs and love back

[@houndmother2398]

I'm 65 years old and single. Grew up in a family with a history of alcoholism on both sides. I have been through enough traumatic experiences to I last me a lifetime. You don't get over it. It's starts to feel cumulative. I've had therapy but I feel like I still hold a lot of it physically..

[@Realistically123]

🙏🙏❤️

[@SibyllaCumana]

Unfortunately therapy doesn't help if the professional isn't trained in trauma responses. It may even worsen the conditions (as in my case) because your feelings keep on being invalidated. I used to get really hurt when well-wishers advised me to get a grip on my life. As if I hadn't tried it all already. Trauma must be addressed with proper tools, otherwise we'll constantly escape from or internalised it. I still suffer physically and mentally and am so deeply tired. Wishing all us victims a better future ❤

[@Realistically123]

@@SibyllaCumana Please stay strong and remember to always love yourself you are worthy 💕

[@tanakeilidh384]

I've heard that forgiving the people who hurt you, and forgiving youself can help immensely. I'm not sure, because I haven't been able to get there myself, but it has a ring of truth and wisdom about it for me.

[@carmagurl317]

I think forgiveness is a process like all else, you can decide you want to arrive there but it won't happen overnight. Tell yourself the apology you wish you got as many times asneeded. Ithelps. ..

[@crystalkauffman3322]

Forgive the person for Your benefit NOT theirs. It takes a long time. It doesn't mean forgetting. I never thought I would get there, but I did. Be patient & give yourself as much time as you need.

[@MacgiollaIG]

I have chronic PTSD and it’s exhausting. Every day is a batttle but it opens you’re world to meditation, therapy, thinking big and being special and different. Get help, ask for help, you cannot carry the world on your own shoulders/ that only makes recovery difficult

[@MultiStats]

OK, you have convinced me--you are good, and the videos are very helpful. All without self-promotion or product endorsement. I have now subscribed. Thank you!

[@BenIsFiguringitOut]

Thank you for this video. So many have went through trauma, and the chaos of our world reflects how traumatized so many of us are. I hope everyone continues to heal.

[@sdittloff]

Thank you for this video. You always seem to be able to make the topics you are covering easier to understand.

[@agnesjosie4832]

Dr. Tracey, great work, what you said it gives so much hope! As always it is so good explained. Very helpful, good message and guidance. Especially self compassion part I find so important. Thank you!

[@Andre3k1823]

I'm being cheated on and divorced for a sex offender. It was a rough start to this year, but i'm doing better. Im trying to make it humorous, to help me through.

[@TotalLifeTeletherapy]

Getting over’ trauma isn’t simple-it’s a process rooted in science and self-care. Every step forward is progress. 💙🌱

[@SquigglesFluffystuff]

Recently I heard, "Are you a sad person that occasionally has happy things happen to them, or a happy person that occasionally has sad things happen to them. It's a different spin on happiness is a chose, but this version his different. Maybe it's because of my breakthrough. Realizing everything I have in my life is a blessing, and I've finally reached dry land.

[@GlassFullIsh]

Exactly. And I hate how when it comes to experiences of racism (I'm a British born Indian female who still endures severe racism) people are so quick to silence and dismiss it as though it's nothing. Each and every day and night, I am tormented by the vicious,direct and unforgivable comments and behaviours by strangers who clearly intend to hurt.

[@GlassFullIsh]

And ,believe it or not, I've never been supported by any MH professional

[@jillwklausen]

I'm so sorry. 😢

[@GlassFullIsh]

I am seeking urgent help from anyone and everyone who can spare a few minutes to understand my predicament and make an informed decision. To say the least I am in an extremely bad state. Amongst a plethora of horrific experiences I've had this year, and as an almost 29 year old woman, I was violated by the University of Bolton in Greater Manchester. A very complex and long story short, a female, married, mother, a Nigerian Masters Visual Journalism mature student called Azeezat Armah maliciously coerced me into photographing my almost exposed body to help her with her portrait collaboration but she made me do things I wasn't comfortable with and I made it very clear that I'm not happy for her to use my face or body in an identifiable way. She made comments to me on the day such as "all your people look the same to me" and screamed at me to stop moving even though I suffer with Fibromyalgia and severe Anxiety and am definitely w neurodiverse person which even a MH professional suspected. I suffer from multiple chronic illnesses , including Prurigo Nodularis (on a severe scale) and have suffered with it for 15 years. Anyway, after the aggressive photography session in August 2024, she completely stopped all contact with me but because I was so distressed by what she did and shamed by allowing her to photograph me in the ladies toilets and around campus (bear in mind I only wanted her to use a section of my skin to demonstrate how the condition of my I have never had a quality of life. I'm unemployed , unqualified, excluded, totally impoverished, unsupported, diseased, flat chested, mocked,bullied,depressed, violated. I have never until this week, posted images or videos of myself online yet at age 28 the vicious University took away that agency from me and they've faced no consequences at al despite multiple complaints. Instead they gave me an invocation of a temporary suspension and then never got back to me since June. It's now October and I'm still not on a course. Meanwhile the violator has her Masters degree. How is this acceptable? Police didn't help me nor did anyone else. In 29 years of life I've always been an incredibly modest person and no, in my books, modest doesn't only constitute those who wear headscarves. Especially with being an unattractive skin tone with the burden of disease, I've never exposed my bare bodily skin to anyone not even to my parents when I was living at home before estrangement. The only time they saw me naked was when I was a baby and child and the rare occasion my disabled mother bathed my as an older child or teenager due to my skin disease and pains. I have never had any other caregivers. My father has passed now. I have never received any bereavement support. I'm not currently under any therapy and any MH professionals I've seen in the past have been vile narcissists. I have no shame in sharing that I'm a virgin woman who has never dated and never been in a relationship. I've never even attracted anybody. Despite being a millennial, I've never until this week's pleas for public support, posted an image or video of myself on any platform, and just think how many platforms there are. Without my consent and with absolutely no communication with me throughout what was supposed to be a collaboration, I was horrified to see that they had displayed a clear to identify, half naked, skin diseased, flat chest and face showing, hideous, unflattering, masculine image of me I exist in constant fear, shaking, fatigue, pain, itching, distress, paranoia, agony, depression, anxiety, already and this has only worsened it all. I literally have nothing and no one. There is no purpose to this pain. Do you know she didn't even raise awareness of the condition. She'd initially and manipulatively lured me into thinking she'd help me raise awareness as I asked which is what I thought the purpose of a collaboration was. She didn't even acknowledge never mind use the written piece in which I accounted my lived experience of chronic diseases. To reiterate, at no point did I ever consent to her using identifiable images of my face and body yet that's exactly what she did and she caused me public humiliation. For all I know, she could have sold the images to some sick paedophiles (bear in mind I'm undeveloped and don't look 28) or allowed people to superimpose my images into vile media. I have no way of knowing as I am not criminal investigator or such professional. Days, weeks, months, years of my life have been wasted as it is and this last year has been the absolute worst. As soon as I build up the courage, and especially if I don't get justice within the next one week, I promise I'm going to make another attempt at killing myself which I am aware is something I should have done a very long time ago but I'm very scared and squeamish. I've been excluded from the university as though I was not excluded from society enough. My bank balance is empty. I have no job. I have no savings. I am not a driver. I can't afford a lawyer. I don't have any support network. I have no friends nor family. I have no partner. I have no children. I have no pets. I have no allies. I have nothing and no one. Believe it or not, there's not been a single member of that University who's stood by my side throughout all of this. This is not a quality of life at all and I wouldn't wish these violations upon my worst enemies.