Drunk - Campfire Stories

Discussing our history with alcohol and military life.
🔥 / mikeburnfire
Nonstop - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...

[@varengrey7221]

Two sentence horror: "We saw your browser history. You're being sent to Fort Polk."

[@muhammadnursyahmi9440]

Lol those last 2 words are plenty horrifying enough

[@TheArkTheArkTheArk]

“We heard you’ve got a thing for southern girls, we’re sending you to fort Polk.” “I LIKE SOUTHER GIRLS WHO STILL HAVE ALL THEIR TEETH!”

[@30cal23]

@@SiriusG because typically chicks with no teeth are methheads

[@noah4822]

@@30cal23 And? Did you not read the thing about wobbly bits

[@whyiwakeup6460]

*NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN!*

[@crazyday4209]

Man I love these campfire stories it's like having friends without friends

[@elictronicdog4566]

i give this a yeah

[@heresy8383]

We are all friends here comrade

[@mharizsaifuddin7059]

Same

[@callsignapollo_]

Parasocial relationships are the best ones!

[@KrissFliss]

"Friends" without extra steps.

[@ethicalcheeze1407]

"You can't Ship of Theseus a drink, Mike." God fuckin' damn that was funny

[@blade1hunter100]

Although I never was in the military, I was playing Arma 3 with some vets, our mission was being set up and I remember them saying: "No yeah I tell you this game is exactly like the military." "How so?" "You sit around with your thumb up your ass waiting for something to do."

[@FSGTACHANKA]

You serious

[@assassinproject5586]

@@FSGTACHANKA oh yea you get them often. As an avid arma 3 player it’s actually pretty awesome to bump into a vet playing a milsim and talking to them about their stories and their life outside of the military.

[@jakestan1185]

@@assassinproject5586 squad is similar if you don’t a bunch of kids

[@pewds6910]

@@jakestan1185 Honestly i dont think i will ever a bunch of kids

[@nottherealpaulsmith]

my arma group's run by an iraq vet, he tells the best stories he's also mildly terrifying to talk to but that's beside the point

[@josephstaggs4545]

I just want Zach to know, as of 2011-2016, nothing has changed in the Army. The amount of time wasted just sitting around is insane. Some of our NCOs were smart enough to tell us to go standby in the barracks and have our phone handy.

[@lanterns_glow]

Hasn't changed much from then til now either, just more hygiene things given the pandemic

[@wilson0093]

I wish I could go standby in the barracks... Must be nice.

[@josephstaggs4545]

@@wilson0093 it was very nice

[@talinpeacy7222]

Same for 2013-2019

[@OrificeHorus]

2023 too?

[@TheSlayeroftruth]

God being in the infantry sounds like jail with a gym membership

[@son_of_nemesis8957]

I... I've never heard said that way.... But..... Yah... That's about right

[@memesfromdeepspace1075]

With random death setence

[@TaskForce-fy4jk]

Most prisons already have gyms so it's basically just jail

[@thekingeli8685]

@@TaskForce-fy4jk bs, jail has freedom

[@Bearj64]

Sounds about right

[@standovaar7638]

“Maybe I have celiac disease…” Pretty intense foreshadowing, Mr. Hazard.

[@donovanwicks1328]

plot twist he doesnt: zach is allergic to carbonated drinks

[@standovaar7638]

​@@donovanwicks1328 it truly was a saga full of twists and turns lol

[@lanterns_glow]

The fact that the military sits around doing a lot of Nothing is the reason a lot of them pick up nerdy hobbies like card games and tabletop. Kills the time, can be dropped at any second, works as a team building exercise (especially things like D&D and Pathfinder). How do I know, even as a civvy? I live outside of Ft. Campbell. Every gaming store (3 of em) has a heavy military customer base, usually founded by ex military. I tell ya you see em out of uniform and think they're just dumb meatheads BUT you put dice and a sheet in front of them or talk about MtG and they melt into who they are. Hell I know an Artillery Sergeant- he just got promoted- who is a HUGE softy off duty. Loves his wife, has a puppy, is basically a puppy as a person at times because God he is friendly and it's hard to image him sitting doing nothing for half the day because Military.

[@antoniusp3295]

Yeah. Hell, my Dad used to play D&D and the Cyberpunk tabletop when he was in.

[@lanterns_glow]

@@antoniusp3295 I find a small bit of irony in that given the ideas in cyberpunk

[@Tigershark_3082]

I know quite a few military people that do cosplay, and stuff like that.

[@skellyboi8931]

As someone in the military. I can attest to this wholeheartedly. Granted I’m a lifetime nerd but I know several people who are interested in getting into that sort of thing mostly due to the fact that there isn’t really anything to do here where I’m stationed

[@therandomdickhead5744]

cool stuff

[@ketsuekikumori9145]

Here's my theory on why Zach got sent to the "Penal Colony" Fort Polk. Remember how his mother questioned on why Zach was a troublesome child, especially compared to his sister? It was for her revenge.

[@2010AZ]

Maybe because of the "Hentai Incident" too

[@JohnDoe-ud8fn]

“Oh my god where were you!? - North Carolina.” Honestly that sounds about right.

[@MedicalShrgn]

prolly Fayetteville

[@flamingmoose1479]

@@MedicalShrgn That definitely sounds like Fayetteville

[@Jojo867PIE]

Thank you Fayettenam

[@redzeppelin6]

My first thought was Fayetteville.

[@DrNeonGaming]

As someone who's lived in NC all his life: yeah, Fayetteville

[@kfcroc18]

The best definition I have heard of modern warfare is, “Months of boredom punctuated by moments of extreme terror."

[@tempheror112]

"He got his hand broken by a gang." "Where were you?!?" "North Carolina." Yep, sounds about right.

[@thelunarhotdog9384]

Yeah, sounds like a tuesday

[@ValTek_Armory]

Can attest

[@irishwristwatch2487]

Wonder if it rhymes with "haypetpill"

[@dboot8886]

Bout to say.

[@tempheror112]

@@irishwristwatch2487 Oh, so you know whats up xD. You'd think Bragg would deter this stuff but nope.

[@Darkmage1293]

"Hey Zach, why do you know so much about guns?" Walk in on him smoking Malboro's with a 100-year old tried and tested handgun "Oh. Okay that's probably why."

[@DavidLopez-en6el]

My favorite zach quote was when he threatened to do a 9/11 2 electric boogaloo

[@strasserismball9188]

@@DavidLopez-en6el link?

[@DavidLopez-en6el]

@@strasserismball9188 kzbin.info/www/bejne/h6XadKV_gbV3jtk 1:08

[@DavidLopez-en6el]

The censoring makes it hard but he roughly says world trade center at the end

[@strasserismball9188]

@@DavidLopez-en6el thanks

[@Biodeamon]

"I had an alcohol" I think not being able to name specifics speaks to how drunk zach got

[@TheSplitlip]

You mean Mike?

[@AceOfBlackjack]

@@TheSplitlip I’m not the only one who gets confused.

[@sunzoo7173]

i fear that when the man walked into the barracks seeing Zach with a 1911 and a cigarette me my have flashed to that vivid moment in FMJ

[@chibani-]

Stripped down 1911,that's less scary

[@sunzoo7173]

@@chibani- maybe the guy thought he was going to eventually commit a FMJ but he was piecing it back together after stripping it to sneak it into the barracks after he hit the range

[@augmundfireweave5348]

Zach was almost full on MURICA when he talked about his 21st birthday

[@thecourier3152]

A pair of red mirrored aviator sunglasses would've topped it off and a stunning goth/emo gf

[@Ribbons0121R121]

"oh, ill come back later"

[@cellelysium9741]

@@Ribbons0121R121 WE CAN'T EXPECT GOD TO DO ALL THE WORK moment right there XD

[@scowler7200]

@@thecourier3152 Is that a Razörfist reference?

[@thecourier3152]

@@scowler7200 Razör Fist?

[@ketsuekikumori9145]

Fellow soldier: You 21! Let's go get drunk! *Fellow soldier sees Zach cleaning a gun* Fellow soldier: Oh, you're working, I'll come back later.

[@BeanManolo]

He probably got worried Zach would go full "Full Metal Jacket" on him

[@MartyrPandaGaming]

Most likely. Odds are Zach had a "two" mile stare from having Sgt. High Thpeed taking his cabinets.

[@ShamanG0M00]

Either that or it was a type "Oh I'm gonna give you two some alone time, have fun" situation.

[@ivanlagrana878]

Zach smoking with a M1911 in his hand must be really menacing.

[@sumvs5992]

@@ivanlagrana878 "smocking"

[@WhyName]

3:30 extremely Joshua Graham moment right there.

[@alastair852]

Joshua Graham wouldn't be smoking though. It's against the Word of Wisdom.

[@plantainsame2049]

​@@alastair852plus he can't uce the shit drugs down affect him

[@remysteel4178]

Love the fact this episode Zach goes “maybe I have celiac disease” and 4 months later learns he has celiacs disease.

[@Umbrella419]

And then later he learns it ain't celiac disease, he just can't have carbonated drinks xd

[@waleedanwar2098]

The perspective of a foot soldier is very different from the army narrative I was told when I was young

[@Brian-tn4cd]

Almost like the army writes and controls its narrative

[@steveheist6426]

Almost like the entire point of the army narrative is suckering idiots into wasting their lives

[@Bakura5445]

At least we're not drafting them anymore.

[@Doomise394]

nothing better than a story about being drunk, remember the game mike made of zach drunk funny talk. amazing game

[@Smitticus228]

Mike you’ve talked about being in Africa and doing water stuff - was this all reserves?

[@KillerOrca]

Probably, what, you think they're gonna send active combat marines to help do stuff like this? Nah, they gotta put em places where they might actually fight. Mostly.

[@NefariousElasticity]

Based on stuff Mike's said previously (and even in this video), Mike was a Water Support Technician (1171) in the Marine Corps reserves. He went to Africa for an annual training event. The Marine Corps maintains a presence in Africa, so it makes sense to ship off reserve personnel to that region for training. As a WST in the military, you're support, and your job in a nutshell is setting up water purification systems. An important job not a lot of people really think about for military support operations in areas where clean potable water is worth its weight in gold and about as hard to find.

[@MrBones-td6qn]

It's not uncommon for nations to send there reserves off to do things around the world. Example: I was offered the chance to go to the Estonian border with Russia as a Canadian Reservist to keep an eye on the Russians essentially. Reserve forces get flung around everywhere on the globe dude.

[@AmphiStuG]

@@MrBones-td6qn Oi were you part of that group that had a music off between Canadian bagpipes and a Estonian 50.cal barrel?

[@Cyalide]

If I'm too young to drink I'm too young to fight in your wars! The US Gov: Are you sure about that?

[@jaushuagrahamthefloridaman1124]

Well we wouldnt want to corrupt our youths moral standing.....

[@Equinox2149]

@@jaushuagrahamthefloridaman1124 There is nothing more moral than having the blood of your enemies on your hands and having it weigh on your conscience for years

[@gravemindpenis]

This might be a myth but the reason why the voting age is 18 now is because during the vietnam war most G.I. weren't even old enough to vote, since the voting age then was 21.

[@jaushuagrahamthefloridaman1124]

@@Equinox2149 exactly builds character Sources: me,dont look it up bro🇺🇸

[@karlgoodman9194]

@@Equinox2149 I love the smell of war crimes in the morning. Smells like... salt and charred corpses.

[@noob-zx4cv]

God i fuckin love these campfire stories. They're great as background noise for when you're chilling out and playing something.

[@johnholland5419]

Zach needs to try Sapporo, it's a rice beer so he'll probably be fine. Most people are fine with Sapporo that are bad with regular beer, like me

[@an_ordinary_goose]

That sounds interesting - I only drink cheap beer because 1) poor student, 2) most people - my friends included - won't go near it because they *hate* beer and 3) it gives my body a kick so I don't forget that i could get drunk as a skunk off the stuff and don't drink too much. I'm curious to try some of the beers that you can't find as easily - if at all - in NZ...

[@Hagunemnon]

Plus, its Japanese, so it'll speak to his inner weeb. His outer weeb, too. Truth be told, Japanese booze is fucking excellent. I haven't had a single bad experience, thus far between their beer, sake, whisky, gin, and rum. It ain't always cheap, but hot damn, are they good at what they do. Especially Suntory. If you haven't tried it, yet, their Toki whisky is relatively cheap (ca. $30US where I live) and dangerously drinkable with some ice.

[@kolosmenus]

@@Hagunemnon I've tried japanese beer and whisky, and yeah, it was real good. Really mild taste compared to our stuff. But once I've tried actual sake. It's terrible dude. Never again.

[@Forkontheleft]

Sapporo is good

[@dogwater5499]

I think I'd prefer a Busch over Sapporo, Sapporo has a weird taste that doesn't sit well with me.

[@smoke8715]

"Who don't you just shoot me in the fucking face!" My favorite Zach quote to date.

[@brycetonbird82]

Just turned 21 today, I'm deployed in Poland with the army and absolutely shithoused rn

[@SenorPato1664]

happy birthday

[@jonGoward4867]

Hell yeah!

[@TheArkTheArkTheArk]

Happy birthday, you’re in Poland, find some slivovitz and wake up the following morning not remembering your own name!

[@cheems8089]

Hope you’re doing alright man

[@brycetonbird82]

@@cheems8089 turns out it only goes downhill

[@MandoWookie]

"So when I turned 21, I sat in the barracks smoking Marlboro Reds and cleaning my 1911" I have never felt such kinship with another person.

[@Ashley-xn1mz]

I was this close to joining the military, thanks to Zach I heavily reconsidered that option

[@son_of_nemesis8957]

You made a good decision. It sucks.

[@DocMitchell69]

You made the smart choice.

[@chefboirdee1141]

Same :)

[@dragonwithamonocle]

"Maybe I have Celiac Disease," says Zach, not long before finding out he has Celiac Disease.

[@dominickmosono7610]

2:14 the foreshadowing in this series is something else

[@cvbrocks5975]

The irony is, these stories have inspired me to join the marines, I was going to join anyways but this has strengthened my resolve to join. Thanks Zach, and most importantly, Mike!

[@vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv]

absolute masochist

[@cvbrocks5975]

@@vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv You know it

[@cjgray8825]

Get the crayons ready

[@broncthompson4609]

Zack made me wanna be a weapons dude lol

[@talinpeacy7222]

Don't worry, the Stockholm syndrome gives you some great memories, just don't burn yourself out. Invest in hardcase and preferably water tight containers for extra socks, medical tape and gauze wrapping for custom bandages, small scissors or knife, baby powder, antiperspirant (specifically that, not JUST deodorant) sun protection, bug protection, hand safe disinfectant, baby wipes, and whatever snacks, drinks, and possibly smokes you want that still fits. Generally, getting a few "travel sized" versions of this in various little cases spread through your gear will make your life easier because you can treat any minor inconveniences and injuries on the spot. If something chaffs, get a palm worth of powder and apply to chaffing area, if there's sun, apply sun block, if there's bugs, spray front and back of all your gear and exposed skin (the mosquitos and bugs can sometimes bite through your uniform, don't take the chance), if you get the chance to clean up grime on you or handle something gross, wipe then disinfect, if you clean a chaffing area, reapply a bit of powder after. Travel sized care and hygiene products will be used up quickly, likely within a day or two, so keep refills in your ruck or A-bag. If you wring out and let a few wipes dry out in a pouch for a day or two, they make decent weapon cleaning cloth in a pinch. No part of your weapon should be wet when you put it back together, the closest exception is that the pin, bolt, and bolt carrier should be polished with a drop of weapon oil (usually CLS iirc) AFTER you've cleaned them thoroughly. Even then, they shouldn't look wet, maybe just a bit polished. If part of your weapon (usually the chamber the bolt slides into when it's assembled and forward) keeps coming back with carbon, sometimes literally just using and then cleaning your pinky finger repeatedly to clean it out works fairly well. Fingers are surprisingly good at scrubbing small, difficult areas due to their naturally grippy fingerprints and ability to be squished into little notches and such. Just don't be an idiot who tries doing this while your bolt is still pressing against the buffer spring, take that out if you're going to clean any part of the inside of your weapon. Also, no, no matter what someone tells you, the parts in the trigger assembly is not supposed to be taken apart, mostly because if you put it together wrong, you might change how your safety selector switch works and just have an automatic weapon with no safety. Cleaning some dust and such out with a q-tip is usually safe, just do a functions check after. There are pros and cons to volunteering for everything, sometimes it will get you out of things, sometimes it will get you into stupid things, generally, you will never know if something is going to reward you or not, just try not to make yourself a target.

[@sanskritmacgeee1867]

Babe. Wake up! Mike and Zach are at the camp fire again!

[@windsorr]

babe wake up, zach’s talking about how boring the military is

[@Akehiko_Urabaya]

After serving in my country’s version of Fort Polk, this brought back some painful repressed angry chain smoking memories

[@Bakura5445]

A soldier's plight is pretty much the same everywhere, it seems. Hurry up and wait for the morons who give the orders.

[@nickrustyson8124]

What is your country's Fort Polk. I would love to make a list of the worse Miltary Bases around the world

[@Gaming_Gobbin]

Mike, Zach, I'm not sure if you'll see this but thank you for making these videos. The campfire stories series has helped me fight the depression that's come over me after a huge break up and moving away from all my family and friends for work. Thank you and god speed you glorious bastards.

[@ChulioRCHulio]

Pretty nifty idea getting a drunk schedule - good for planning ahead when you want to get wasted.

[@spuddringtontatortot7348]

He did, in fact, have celiac disease

[@SomeConch357]

funny enough nope

[@OmegaRiley]

Breaking news, he did in fact, not have celiac disease.

[@jmvt3]

“You can’t ship of Theseus a drink” is a glorious quote

[@adenkyramud5005]

Sitting in a room, smoking a cig and cleaning a 1911 is the most Zach thing one could do 🤣

[@badbadevabraun8707]

Waiting to turn 21 so you can drink beer... *laughs in german*

[@joevenespineli6389]

You have an age limit?

[@ItsGiantCookie]

@@joevenespineli6389 yes but it’s 16 for beer

[@annoyingPoe15]

Jokes on you beer drinker I don't like bitter drinks whiskey for me and wine coolers I don't drink much

[@comradesam3382]

*laughs in Balkan*

[@Mononejo]

*laughs in Danish*

[@therandomdickhead5744]

that 1911 story is so zach what a legend

[@nickrustyson8124]

I could imagine Zach in his underwear and a dirty tank top sitting in the dark with only a lamp doing that

[@combinecommando001]

"I don't have any good stories" and proceeds to tell a rage induced knee slapping story we all love to hear.

[@tannerbruning868]

“You cant ship of Theseus a drink mike” is a new quote I will forever repeat

[@nateofnazareth7785]

ah, another one before zach found out about his celiac disease

[@DarkKnightofIT]

How I imagined this scene: Soldier: "you're 21! Let's go drink!" Zach: *is holding gun* Soldier: *thinks that Zach is in love with gun* "oh I'll leave you two alone then"

[@parchedbowser]

3:37 Ironic, he cleaned his gun but dirtied his lungs.

[@nicholashernandez4611]

To be fair, it’s really hard to get a barrel brush in your lungs though. Ever try to dismantle your brachioli? Not comfortable. Reassembly is a nightmare as well. Just saying.

[@dovahthuum5529]

the dirt's gotta go somewhere

[@starbob6664]

God, i never get tired of these amazing stories!

[@thinredpaste]

"north carolina" had to be fayetteville. you're lucky to be alive.

[@LtDragonfruit]

going back through these "YOU CANT SHIP OF THESEUS A DRINK MIKE." is still my fave quote

[@nathankopecky]

It makes me happy to know that someone else despises being active duty as much as I do

[@scotth6797]

The "OOhhh I'll come back later" always kills me

[@GabesRamblings]

narrator: we would later find out zach indeed had celiac disease

[@lucasbabcock7998]

When Zach was smoking “Marlboro reds and cleaning a 1911” my immediate thought was aldi brand Clint Eastwood

[@carna-9501]

Zach is a bit more high quality than aldi

[@silcrow4045]

@@carna-9501 as a non american; what's better than aldi?

[@carna-9501]

@@silcrow4045 publix.

[@redenginner]

We need a fort polk incompetence story compilation so we can send it to potential military recruits.

[@nickrustyson8124]

It would be so long, especially if they reach out to other Fort Polk victims

[@yeetrut8717]

Dude these stories are always like a mini podcast, I could consume a 2hr podcost of this per day.

[@caseyhaney4515]

Must've been training at Fort Bragg, huh? It's located right near a couple of big cities with some major gangs. Sorry to hear about your friend, though. Sending good vibes from the rest of NC!

[@artemisfowl7191]

Fort Bragg, named after Braxton Bragg, possibly the worst General to ever oppose American forces

[@EnigmaEnginseer]

Home of the 82nd Airborne

[@cerberus144]

Midnight on my 21st birthday my Roommate at the time made me celebrate the moment I could drink legally by giving me a shot of some gin I had. I didn't touch anything stronger than communion wine for three years after that moment,

[@an_ordinary_goose]

From what my best friend's told me, gin tastes like absolute ass on its own, so I could understand why you wouldn't go anywhere near the stuff again

[@angrycrusader3926]

Private: “Hey Sarge, you think Hazard might be suicidal?” Sergeant: “Of course he is, he’s the small arms repairman!”

[@pjthehomelessmage]

Hearing that 21st birthday story about Zach, to me, was the ideal image I had in my head.

[@Scp--wt2bi]

I've never caught a video this early before haha i love your vids I've been subbed forever

[@todddotson6430]

Dear Zack, As someone who was stationed in Fort Hood for over 5 years in Calvary. I can assure you, it is not better anywhere else. Much Love, A Tanker who got stuck at too many "Why are we here" formations.

[@wolfpacksuprise8608]

In a Morgan Freeman Voice "Little did he know, he would have Celiac's Disease."

[@EbonMaster]

My father wanted me to go into the military as soon as I got out of high school. Was the first time I put my foot down and adamantly refused to do something he wanted me to like that. I have become increasingly glad that I made that decision over the years. lol

[@commanderfoxtrot]

"The military's boring" I don't personally know, but I have a particular acquaintance that's in the military stuck on her base because of COVID restrictions. She was allowed her computer and so was like everyone else on the base, plus with all that free time people rank up really fast if they're good enough. So now within about a year and a half of training, she's become a platoon leader and still has time to play ARK every time I check my Steam.

[@nyl0n733]

probably not actually boring they probably just meant that everyday is pretty much the same.

[@Zane-TheToiletSalesman]

3:23 Zach- “You can’t make god do all the work”

[@RyanKing00]

"Maybe I have Celiac Disease" Well, Zach of the past... Zach of the future has news for you.

[@QuoteCaver]

"Oh God, where were you?" "North Carolina." Speaking as a NC born and raised, I bowled over on the floor laughing, because literally the second before he said that, I said out loud "Man, sounds like Saturday in Greensboro."

[@JohnDoe-ud8fn]

Lmao we now know that Zach 100% has Celiac so this story is funnier to me

[@Varner410]

He's 100% right about the infantry units. Seems all we did after Afghanistan was wait to be told to sweep.

[@WolfHreda]

"You can't Ship of Theseus a drink, Mike!" That's an excellent quote.

[@dagkarlsson7182]

11year Royal Australian Navy vet, on Thursday we had to stay till 6pm to organize the a compartment on the ship. I who lived on another navy base about 15km away and didn’t have a car and no public transportation ran after 5 so I had to walk home after work. Come in the next day to sit around and look busy because we had nothing to do… Fucking hated that sort of thing and it happened all the time.

[@nope8535]

I keep hearing the army and marine horror stories and laugh and go "I joined the fucking USAF and only had a few of those things....like being told weekend duty was 7am and it was changed after I left to 4am and no one knew.....ok maybe I didnt get away from the stupid"

[@frds_skce]

Makes me wonder how different military services make a different man. For instance, entering army would make you a lazy but still enjoy life with its bs, meanwhile eantering marine would make you a diligent but tasteless person, more like paper-thin personality like that. Could be it's just me, but that's what i see in most people

[@lanterns_glow]

I know an ex-Marine, his whole thing is trying to be a tough ass, talking down about all kinds of issues young folk talk about, and supporting Trump.

[@Biodeamon]

you don't usually come out of the military with diligence or lack of personality, negative or positive

[@frds_skce]

So it's just depends on each person, huh? Might need to reassess my theory

[@frds_skce]

@@lanterns_glow kinda sounds like one of my contacts, lol. Dude is talking hella loud for a part-time marine. But he's pretty okay, at least he's compassionate when it come to sharing or something. But conversation-wise, it's killing me sometime

[@lanterns_glow]

@@frds_skce Yeah. I enjoy working with him, but sometimes it's just like "please let me have some quiet before work starts". Can't really hate em, but it's just... God, please be quiet

[@JTHMsonicfan]

"You can't ship of Theessius a drink" is my new favorite quote

[@theofficialgoth]

These work so well as driving listening. I listened to about 10 of these from the original New Vegas run while driving places.

[@MrAgentEcho]

I’m really glad I found these campfire stories. I love war stories and especially the ones about really frustrating things like incompetence.

[@fetusdeletus9266]

Zach righteous anger is what gives me the will to live.

[@deadf7385]

"You can't ship of Theseus a drink!" I loved that

[@vellinghem2187]

Ahhh it’s stories like these that get me all excited for the army when I enlist next year. ^_^

[@warmonkey3216]

Im in the military right now and its crazy how little the army has changed even over 15 years later

[@turok1456]

Man Zach predicted his celiacs

[@ChitenBugMan]

"Where WERE YOU" "North Carolina" Thats a YUP

[@mistertaffy6720]

As someone from North Carolina, that sounds about right.

[@ChocolateMilkmanTrue]

This is better than a podcast because it's actually funny.

[@bobawett2458]

I feel you on that boring part as a National guardsman lmao

[@SnibediSnabs]

I can confirm that the "wait around for 3 hours for some bullshit formation that ends up not even happening" is a universal thing. I'm not even from the US and I experienced that a few times.

[@vanillaplanifolia2525]

The Campfire Stories are some of you guys' best content, my brother and I like to put on a few random ones from the playlist whenever we make long drives. Our favorites are the cabinet story (of course), the hog story, and the good steak one.

[@Ovokor]

I was in the National guard, wee had vehicles and every month we would PMCS those things and every month the same things would be wrong with them. Pretty much half of the company spent all morning doing a piss test and everyone else hung out in the motor pool. Being in the military literally feels like your wasting your life and tax payer dollars by being there do to the sheer amount of nothing that happens. We did do some really cool trainings because nerd company. However I totally thought then and still think that having an entire company going to an AA meeting for drill would be way more beneficial then 95% of what we did.

[@badasstasticusbadass4908]

That soldier who saw Zach cleaning that .45 while smoking probabbly had some VERY strong Full Metal Jacket flashbacks xD

[@albuseisenhorn3385]

man I think "you can't Ship of Theseus a drink" is my new favorite saying

[@akinoffury2332]

Can confirm: My buddy who was once Army, drove fuel trucks, has told me that he visited Fort Polk once... And he tells me it's worse than everywhere else

[@EchoingVegas]

"Oh, I'll come back later..." Probably the one time someone thought Zach was a badass.

[@derekdrake8706]

The last time I got drunk it was a dark night, man.. horrible things happened and I was low.. two bottles of whiskey, a smidge of something that tasted like turpentine and a bottle of vicodin later and next thing I know, I'm being rushed to a hospital 50 miles away. I remember being really stupid for a week, unable to walk, terrified of sleeping because of the horrible nightmares and ruining my favorite pair of pants.. now, I can't even be near alcohol without my body shrieking at me in protest. Been sober for years now, even kicked the opiates.

[@Uranium-jj7le]

3:26 “OK Hazard… Imma leave ya be. Happy 21st man”

[@brandtlucasbrandt]

2:50 I remember turning 21. First handgun I bought was a .44 Desert Eagle. It was my first ever gun I bought myself and I was super happy with the purchase. Looking back, I wish I bought something more practical or modest like a 1911. My inner Jew still screams at me for spending over 2k on a pistol, but I still fire it with a smug grin knowing I own a fucking Deagle. Funnily enough my only other gun at the time was this .22 rifle my grandpa gifted me when I turned 16. Love that thing to death.

[@avengermkii7872]

I can see why Mike doesn't have many stories, he's at a job where the demand is low; Zach has a job where the demand is high and it's like he's been working in military retail for 5 years or something.

[@I_am_ENSanity]

As a recovering alcoholic I wish I hadn't also had (still have) crippling depression, hallucinations of being tortured in hell, and about 1000 voices whispering things to me all day. If I didn't have them then I probably wouldn't have had such a crippling alcohol addiction.

[@HipsterKhan]

I swear I've watched this video several times since it came out and why did it never sink in that I wouldn't do anything in an infantry company. Here I am now, doing nothing in my barracks room.

[@JEST3R_]

"Maybe I have celiac disease or something..." Narrator: he did

[@MadBenYT]

This has quickly become one of my favorite channel's, you guys are brilliant