If Jesus Had Been A Typical Teenager. Brian Bates - Full Special

[@PoliticalWonderland]

Dry Bar is keeping me sane rn. God Bless you all & God Bless the world

[@markclarke6908]

Hang in there sister. 🙏

[@noneofyourbusiness302]

I don't want to brag, but I was vaccinated yesterday! 🤗 Best day ever!!

[@MrsABC7997]

And God bless you! 🙏

[@Mickard]

Amen!

[@ronaldgideon9524]

Stay positive nothing matters!

[@homerj.simpson7562]

13:50 I used to play a game with my niece and my nephew, called "Who can stay silent the longest". They LOVED playing it! After a while I would say something and pretend to be angry that I lost, only to demand a rematch.

[@MrsABC7997]

Brilliant! 😉

[@valej9387]

I'm taking notes !!!

[@paulinefinn7075]

Whatever it takes ... desperate measures for desperate times- I have 11 grandchildren-currently 7 are under the age of 11...

[@miscellaneousb]

It's called The Quiet Game. My ADHD son was terrible at it. Lol. I would try anything when he would run his mouth all day sometimes. It usually went something like this: Me: Hey let's play the quiet game. Son: Yeah! Me: Ok, one two three, GO (5 seconds pass) Son: I lose! 😊

[@ukeuketv9541]

O ​

[@noneofyourbusiness302]

This guy is seamlessly funny😁 I was hanging on his every word!

[@cheetahpiss1328]

That's unfortunate

[@Shuummiii]

"We both thought we could do better" dead

[@bbiggs4327]

As a runner and multiple marathoner from way back i really liked his runner jokes.! "We will time you.!" Sign me up.!

[@freedonx]

indeed that got me too!

[@donwilliams2858]

Brian is so intelligent, open, easy to like, and incredibly funny. His stories are natural choices but at the same time completely unexpected, new. The stories about Jesus as a teenager (especially the "how old" segment), about timing children and adults, about the full moon -- they're all great!!!! With Brian I love the stories where he leads us to see things fresh and to laugh in ways we never anticipate.

[@spideydew20]

"Better make sure it's a full moon." I lost it.

[@onearmedbandit9543]

I have met folks that clueless. Thank you, American Educational System.

[@globetrekker86]

* JC’s high school reunion * - “So, what have you been up to, dude?” - “Oh, let’s see... Turned some plain water into delicious wine, healed a few folks... You know, the usual”

[@RyuLongRHOG]

You know, the ushe...

[@cocotug0]

@@RyuLongRHOG p

[@cocotug0]

@@RyuLongRHOG 0⁰

[@cocotug0]

@@RyuLongRHOG 00

[@cocotug0]

@@RyuLongRHOG pp

[@godislove9307]

Hey, Brian, your comedy is brilliant. All of it. I watch a lot of stand-up and you're one of the best I've seen! :)

[@eddiepanda8564]

Brian “Breakfast” Bates is the man ! Im not religious but love this dude

[@RadostinVelchev]

He is that one Uber driver who will tell you that he performs on stage and he actually does :D

[@angeladouglas1789]

Wow, you worked that out all by yourself well done duh

[@noglenogle]

Yea, but it's no "Cash Cab"!

[@lisachapman8116]

These give me such a boost to my days!! I appreciate them so much!!

[@lorenzovonmatterhorn7402]

Im glad that Stuart from the Big bang theory found himself a new life.

[@miedesred6365]

Yeah, you're right. Hahaha...that's why the face looks familiar.

[@MrsABC7997]

It was driving me crazy through the entire show! Yes! Stuart is now 47 with a girlfriend.

[@zippy-zappa-zeppo-zorba-etc]

Finally!

[@zw-r2570]

Lmao

[@thesingerintheshower]

Oh wow funny...

[@daveyjones9930]

I went on a 2 year MORMON mission to Australia! The two best years of my life.....up to that point. Each 2 years AFTER my 2 year mission has been *exponentially BETTER!!* ANY year when people weren't cursing me/us out, sun up to sun down, HAD to be better!!

[@kbean5338]

His ‘mormon’ joke had the audience roar with laughter. SO good. Can’t wait to see him again.

[@somecrazyveteran]

That's because Mormonism is a joke lol

[@kbean5338]

@@somecrazyveteran So is that beret you’re wearing. It’s so ‘woke’ isn’t it?

[@somecrazyveteran]

@@kbean5338 It's not woke, it was a part of my Army Service Uniform, and I still have that beret, because I earned the title of United States Soldier. If you're mad that you never did anything with your life, don't get mad at me because I did.

[@kbean5338]

@@somecrazyveteran And your beret is gay

[@kbean5338]

@@somecrazyveteran Why did the Army change to a black beret? To be more inclusive. Woke.

[@chrisb8127]

Thats pretty cool. Im from Lebanon TN also. Ill have to check out more of this guys shows. John Mulaney said the worst shows of his life was in Murfeesboro TN just down the road and look where he is now.

[@livethelawofone27]

@Angels Among Us Bristol TN here!

[@Loctorak]

Brilliant! Not a religious person, but I grew up in a religious family so I still get all those references (not that they made up the whole set, but you get what I mean). Also not fussed on dirty vs clean jokes, but it has to be said that I respect a good joke all the more if it happens to be clean cause I just feel like thats harder to write, without leaning on easy material like sexual gags or swearing to pad it out. So two thumbs up, from me! Would gladly go to one of his shows if I lived even remotely close to America 😅

[@MrsABC7997]

Agreed!

[@vickiedavidson1230]

SootheOperator I agree. It takes intelligence!! To know what is real life and call it for what it is. I don't even live remotely close to America either, I live in South Carolina. HaHaHaHa😁

[@summerd7668]

Yeah, it turns out Christians can be funny too. The mark of a good comic is being able to keep the audience engaged without foul content. It's hard to enjoy the joke when the material is nothing but raunchy material and foul language.

[@allisonmcleod2860]

Hilarious!!! I love his standup and his back and forth with Nate on The Nateland Podcast!

[@linkibetv]

Killer callback! Nicely done - I shared this with my friends in TN so now they'll be looking for you on their next Uber trip.

[@MrsABC7997]

My grandparents had a hog farm in a hollar near Lebanon, TN! And the Mennonites helped on the farm! I still have family there!❤ This show was fantastic! 😂🤣😂🤣

[@iammikevaldes]

Great job, Breakfast!! Loved this set. 🤘🏼

[@nikbrownell]

I'm so glad you guys mentioned this on Nateland! It's Breakfast time!

[@jenniferwiley-wright4847]

Jesus “I don’t know, what year is it?? Why did this joke have me cracking up all day. 😂😂😂

[@commonsensecorner7275]

HILARIOUS!!! I know my neighbors heard me laughing… 🤣🤣🤣

[@globetrekker86]

“Maybe he does the books”... Sounds like Jerry is St. Peter’s assistant

[@creativevirgo12]

Better be a FULL Moon! OMG that is just too funny!

[@creativevirgo12]

@@edithdlp8045 😆

[@melaniestarkey7868]

He was really good I'd like to see more of his

[@justyoga5118]

So glad I looked for this! Great set Brian!

[@traceym.637]

Omg the moon joke...his friend 😳 speechless.🙄😂

[@lonniemead4258]

Very funny. Talented.

[@thedigitalpeople]

Hello Folks, Bartholomew Bates is hilarious, Never knew about him until listening to the Nateland Podcast. They mess with him and call him Breakfast Bates, Sorry Bartholomew they tease you so bad. Real fans know how awesome you are.

[@nathaliekohlman3252]

Really enjoyed his intelligence. And his self-deprecating humor. Not easy to do. Liked him as a person. Felt I knew him. Likeable.

[@carlbaumeister3439]

He’s not only funny, he’s extremely likable.

[@michaelmisczuk1188]

I hate his guts.

[@maryksnyder1155]

Jesus!! Too funny! 😂 Had to share with my husband!!

[@ryotaarai3816]

He might've been the one that roomed with the other comedian who had to sleep with earplugs and a tidy whities over his eyes coz his roommate had a cpap mAchine for his sleep apnea and likes his light on while he sleeps.

[@MA-mh1vs]

Yeah, funny for a joke and all but unless your cpap is hooked up to oxygen they just sound like a fan.

[@ohdiggy8038]

Yes!

[@itoibo4208]

The marathon joke was the best.

[@randyhogan1603]

This guy is good I just saw a later special of his last night. Enjoyed it as well as this one

[@pylgrymkid]

Loved this. Needed the laughs today.

[@rebekahambrose5839]

He's actually funny. Enjoyed that.

[@jbyepitsme4330]

LOL!!🤣🤣🤣👍👏This guy is hilarious!! Look forward to more his stand up

[@kvt41pq]

BRILLIANT!!!!

[@ericlawrence9060]

Wow... He is GREAT! Better make sure it's a full moon! Things i can do with my niece while resting.

[@lauriepeters5936]

He is really funny and likable!

[@yellowswallowtail33]

Your hilarious! Clean, funny observations and funny. Period. 👏

[@AFishNamedBob]

*You're

[@sir.schambach459]

and blasphamus.

[@beardedbeastmetalmilitia4604]

@@sir.schambach459 God has a sense of humor get over yourself!

[@ConservativeMom82]

Love Mr. Bates and was brought here thanks to my favorite podcast, Nateland! ❤️❤️

[@donwilliams2858]

Same here - I really wanted to see Brian doing stand-up, and he's amazing in all kinds of ways.

[@Maximum_Goodness]

@brianbates I just found this from Nateland and loved your texting yourself joke. I just did this last week when I woke up at 2am and sent myself a question to find the answer to the next day. The next day in the middle of the day I looked at my phone and saw the text, not realizing it was from me texted back an answer then co-workers had to ask why I was laughing so hard.

[@kimberlythompson678]

I totally get the sleep apnea joke. I also have it and my family loves to tell me different sleeping positions. Like really....

[@thesingerintheshower]

Loll

[@kittyp1569]

LOVE the jokes about timing little kids to do stuff - its TOTALLY true! As a mom & working PT in elementary schools for

[@nodgelyobo1]

Definitely a hierarchy in comedy like music where a lot of crap ones get to the top and the good ones stay in the middle...this guy is excellent...

[@johnhenryjanning8927]

Weird youtube recommended this when the whole reason I came to watch the undertaker throw mankind off of the cage

[@reacher8042]

This is golden

[@amelialeigh9290]

Great pick me up.. side note he kinda looks like Gomer Pyle lol

[@Mementomorichild]

kinda sounds like him too 😆

[@cUser691]

@Amelia Leigh... your comment struck- agree- getting Gomer Pyle vibes- thx it brought back that tv series -goofiness and fun

[@zombierobotsheep]

Way to go, Brineshrimp!!

[@aalm7966]

Finally a good one it's been a while

[@bob75ma]

im not a Christian but i absolutely love this guy. very funny and super likable.

[@saxon6]

Brilliant Ending. BRAVO

[@beckys5461]

Jesus: Here's a clue... what year is it? Uncle: 3775. What's that got to do with anything?

[@willhaven8778]

the year AD (after the death of Christ)? his calculation of this is wrong. Besides, Jewish calendar is older

[@G35Jeff]

@@willhaven8778 Anno Domini (AD) means the year of our lord.

[@janicenowicki9044]

I'm timing you...you made me laugh for 24:08 minutes (that's how long the video was :) ... No Sir...Thank...YOU ;)

[@dawleymatthew]

Hello folks! Great set, Breakfast!

[@shakararolle836]

I truly enjoyed that!!

[@richardnaz2701]

I'm coming here from Nateland to finally see what Breakfast is all about. Very impressive 👏🏾

[@dianedonohue9855]

Great job!!

[@karro_thatisall]

The full moon joke got me😂

[@MPHswayze]

I'm about to settle in and watch this Bilbo! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!

[@NothingButLol]

The wrestling shout hurt me but healed me at same time

[@BestEvaGal]

Thank you! For calling members of Jesus's Church who they are! 🤩

[@leesmith5419]

You’re really a pretty funny comedian I really enjoyed the show

[@TheElhombresombre]

Bippidibop Bates, you are awesome! First time seeing your stand up. Love your smart brand of humor.

[@somecrazyveteran]

I’ve driven past the exact place in Lebanon, Tennessee that he’s talking about. It’s a huge area. Lebanon is a nice small Tennessee town.

[@popastoppa838]

Just met this man in person💯

[@wsmith4020]

Hello folks! Bald Eagle killing it!

[@JdK3R]

🙏 brother!!

[@Drigoon12]

Are you talking about Aaron when it comes to wrestling? Anyway great special bran cake

[@JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter]

THE UNDERTAKER

[@Mazxlol]

I don’t think anyone in the crowd knew much about wrestlemania 😂

[@JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter]

@@Mazxlol yeah, lol, no one in that crowd seemed to understand that joke

[@catherinepunchcousins1435]

I laughed way tooooo much at this joke!!!! Love the Undertaker 😃

[@cmoyo6359]

Very funny set

[@theemarydee1610]

I’d only known him as a comedian on Nateland podcast. Omg. He is so funny

[@angelreyes6087]

was looking for a video to watch tonight from DRYBAR comedy...Jesus literally told me to watch this one with a big fat smile on his face lol, people dont know he has humor too,most who read this will think im nuts which is ok but to those that do understand n know im not playing, he told me to comment this for you individuals so yall can see hes in these kind of things too lol.

[@Rita-23]

😁

[@barbaragreen4633]

Full moon... HILARIOUS!

[@barefootanimist]

You don't have to believe in a god to find some Dry Bar Comedy funny.

[@dracuella]

I'm kinda enjoying the fact that the jokes are cleaner and less swear-y. I mean, I don't mind swearing but it feels like a lot of comedians fall back to swearing, punching down, and trying to be as crass as possible when they can't come up with intelligent comedy. I far prefer this.

[@Loctorak]

@@dracuella totally agree. I've been a huge comedy fan basically my entire life. Heard the lamest jokes, heard the dirtiest jokes and everything in between. But I never laugh hardest than when I hear a clever, unexpected but totally clean joke. There's no doubt it's harder to get laughs without resorting to sex jokes, toilet humour or swearing. I have a huge respect for any comedian that can pull that off, and I would say this man definitely did. 😁

[@dracuella]

@@Loctorak Yeah, I totally agree, pulling that off requires so much more than 'hurr durr something-something lewd'. It's probably why I have a particular fondness for a lot of British stand up artists, like Eddie Izzard who is by all rights an incredibly intelligent human being who does some of the most laughter-inducing standup, I've ever seen.

[@barefootanimist]

@@dracuella Comics are having to try harder to be funny, and it mostly works.

[@pepinillorick5741]

It does put a barrier on it tho, for example, i can't understand how he can't see that jesus comimg back from the grave is just as dumb as to think that wrestling is real. But in a way i get 2 jokes in one, but one is just sad tho.

[@thebeardedman-drenaline5546]

Really enjoyed this🤣🤣

[@plentygood6]

The time and hair bits killed me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@silvertrees6326]

😂 so funny!

[@curtisbrownr09]

That undertaker joke😂😂😂

[@B4ckup]

Let's Go, Breakfast!!

[@danielboachie]

This crowd didn't appreciate that undertaker joke enough.

[@dustincrane8388]

Let's GOOOOO Folks!

[@Dark_Heart_Soul]

I really enjoyed this stand up special. I’d like to see more full shows from this guy. Great job.

[@MD_sometimes_funny]

Hello folks! Was that a nose whistle I heard around 10:19?!?

[@Sarahh185]

I love this, I also time kids to encourage them to do stuff. LOL

[@everupward594]

Hello folks! Good to see Barbecue's doing well with the comedy.

[@karenmorente7589]

Unique very funny.

[@ajcarr1965]

Good stuff. Only thing missing is music by Tim Hawkins.

[@msvvero]

Very funny Brian. 😅

[@rebekah4761]

1:00 the calculation is off by 4 years btw. He was born in 4 BC. He died at 33 in 29 AD.

[@tyson_3301]

Not entirely accurate. We're not sure the exact year and date of his birth, that's an estimate.

[@princesssummerland7269]

It means “In The Year of Our Lord” . It’s used to mark the years after the birth of Jesus. It’s from the Latin Anno Domini.

[@benitofranklyn4237]

1:44 well the second one was televised nationwide

[@workinprogress3609]

That was funny!

[@pattykilpatrick9425]

He’s funny. My pastor last week just said that God probably has a great sense of humor. Looking at people saying wow look at Mark he has two different socks on hahaha. I’m sure he does laugh at us sometimes.

[@velislavastaneva6825]

Hahhahaahah what if we time you 😂😂😂

[@oussiebossie]

this guy should have a podcast

[@jodirenaud7917]

Funny stuff right there!😂