Waking Up With A Southern Accent. Andy Forrester - Full Special

[@ericfry8222]

This guy is hilarious. The thing with his eyes as he's doing the accent had me crying. 😆 🤣

[@payableondeath9091]

same😂🤣

[@ghomerhust]

yeah that skit, i was rolling

[@jazzochannel]

did you recognize your mom?

[@amazinginformation2024]

The Krispy Kreme address he gave is actually the location of Krispy Kreme in Raleigh. Went the extra mile for that joke.

[@jeremymatter3007]

I have been to that krispy kreme donuts in raleigh I'm trying to find a friend Trisha

[@addictiveillusions5667]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@melindahancock8518]

I think he might live in NC LOL. This guy is a riot!

[@DiegoHernandez-pd1kn]

P

[@red04111987]

I like how you actually verified what he said....lol

[@kaliprime8377]

This guy is absolutely hilarious! I hope his comedy career really takes off.

[@jayrowe6473]

He is good.

[@D33Lux]

He is, I wasn't expecting to laugh so hard.

[@anneonthephone]

I was JUSTTT laughing, crying laughing a minute ago!! 😆😆😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😆😆😅😅😀😃😁

[@aaronwalker8847]

HOW CAN YOU LAUGH WITH THE ARCHWAY OF THE FALSE GOD BAAL, AND THE PILLARS OF MASONRY, AND THE KABBALA PYRIMID BEHIND THE GUY??? NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE OTHER DEVILS SYMBOLOGY AROUND.. THAT STAGE IS A DEMONS PLAYGROUND.. That just takes all the fun out of funny, and makes for a sick tummy!

[@jayrowe6473]

@@aaronwalker8847 Other than that, Mr. Walker, how did you enjoy the routine?

[@subscribebutter2329]

As a southern person, I say spot on with the ghosts in the trailer. Great bit

[@AveragePinwormEnjoyer]

That last bit was amazing. I laughed so hard my boss looked at me weird... which made me laugh harder.

[@donniedoesjokes]

Hahahahaha! Yes! 😂 “Call if you have been injured or killed!”

[@globetrekker86]

Right in line with the disclaimer, “Side effects include dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, and death”... But hey, at least you cured insomnia!

[@vladfedonkin4731]

@fun_paparazzi In all fairness, those are all side effects of insomnia too.

[@CasaErwin]

I've actually seen that on TV, only they said, "If you or a loved one has been injured or killed..." Still sounds weird.

[@raybin6873]

There's a billboard near my small Georgia town with that on it.😅

[@donniedoesjokes]

@@raybin6873 Haha!! No way! Pics or it didn’t happen!! 😂

[@mumvictoria2757]

Oh my land, I nearly spit my drink out. Several times! I got some wonderful belly-laughs, they were sorely-needed. Thanks Andy you're the best!

[@comicbiga]

YOU’RE THE BEST! Thank you!!!

[@emiliadavis8247]

@@comicbiga you really are awesome!! Soooo hilarious!! I laughed all the way through! Hope to hear another show from you real soon! 💝

[@fattdamon1980]

@@comicbiga dude you're hilarious I can't believe how good you are while staying clean with your comedy. I was shocked to see you only had like 400 subscribers but I increased it by 1. It's a shame you don't have a million, you deserve it. Thanks for the laughs and best of luck with your comedy and if you can add more to KZbin lol. I want to see you perform if you're ever in my neck of the woods.

[@comicbiga]

@@fattdamon1980 Thank you! I'm glad I could make you laugh. Now if I could only make my family laugh before they kill me.

[@fattdamon1980]

@@comicbiga hahaha I have the same problem man. And you're absolutely welcome, man I laughed hard the whole way through and very few comedians do that for me anymore. I appreciate it an look forward to seeing more from you.

[@sevenstreams7581]

I had no intention of snorting and laughing this much.I need a Benadryl and an Allegra right now. He doesn't have to explain anything. We get him. Imma need him to pay for my asthma medicine. Not Eustace! And as a turtle owner,I am still laughing. You need a Netflix special

[@MichelleCzarneckiakaBoogawes]

Well done! Clean comedy is sorely needed and thank you for work!

[@jayrowe6473]

I actually prefer clean comedy. It's funnier. The more risque comedy that is left to the listener to "finish it in their minds" is also funnier than the vulgar in-your-face type.

[@MichelleCzarneckiakaBoogawes]

@@jayrowe6473 As do I. I am exhausted of so-called comedy like that of Jeff Dunham, Russell Peters, etc., since it relies on crass, indecent themes and offending people on purpose consistently in the guise of laughs. I much prefer clean, clever comedy!

[@lindaalley779]

@@jayrowe6473 l

[@VIRGILDSIZEMORE]

@@MichelleCzarneckiakaBoogawes so right, sadly, Jeff Dunham is actually one of the cleaner.

[@leahdaugherty4376]

Me too! I appreciate clean jokes! 💙

[@tobyjacob8701]

Awesoooooome!! I love this guy. I respect the fact that there was no profanity. Great work sir!

[@kayecrafter5107]

Oh my gosh, I haven't laughed that hard in years. He is hilarious!🤣🤣🤣

[@SarahLizDoan]

“I didn’t know what I was doin’ but it was delicious....I don’t know what a hankerin’ is or Taledega...!” Rotlf....so freaking funny! Well done! thank you!

[@licksnkicks1166]

I have laughed this hard in awhile. This guy is an absolute breath of fresh air. This is what we need during this depressing third lockdown. 🇨🇦❤️

[@BlackstarSI]

This dude made my day already 😂😂 this is GOLD!!

[@4givablyun4givable]

Hahaha "I cant find the remote, YOU KNOW THAT!" idk why but that hit me right in the funny bone.

[@dawnlinnell]

I'm laughing so much I'm in tears.

[@juliebaker6969]

One of the funniest comics yet. Most comedians can only make me smile, but I was laughing out loud with this one... literally. The doughnut bit was priceless 😂.

[@MadScientist267]

You were literally laughing? Woah... Radical concept 🙄

[@juliebaker6969]

@@MadScientist267 Did you read my second sentence? It takes a LOT to actually get me to laugh. Sooo.....yeah, LITERALLY laughing IS a radical concept for me. I wouldn't have SAID so if it weren't. DUUUH!🙄

[@MadScientist267]

@@juliebaker6969 Laughing IS out loud 🤣

[@juliebaker6969]

@@MadScientist267 It CAN be out loud, but it can ALSO be done SILENTLY (usually to hide the fact from the inadvertent SOURCE). Then there's the SEPARATE level of mere amusement. MOST, comedians reach THIS level for me, but NOT full blown laughter.

[@MadScientist267]

@@juliebaker6969 Ever had your eyes rolled back in your head?

[@joshuab738]

The best joke in this set is the haunted trailer. It is something I never thought about but makes so much sense!

[@philipjordan6789]

That was funny from beginning to end completely amazing

[@rarah73]

Hoarders is the show I can't stop watching...it's scary mesmerizing. He is funny funny.

[@carlaaustin7223]

He's hilarious. The British accent versus southern accent. Only in Mississippi and North Carolina have I heard a southern accent. I kept staring and thinking gone with the wind. I love to listen to them talk. It's unique and I love listening to them talk.

[@jansteinvonsquidmeirsteen2256]

Southern accents are pervasive. That's a curious observation.

[@bmanclassics4350]

Tx accents are the business too 😎

[@carlaaustin7223]

@Blake L I come from Oklahoma. Moved to North Carolina due to military and visited Florida panhandle coming from Oklahoma via Arkansas, Tennessee and Mississippi (I-40).

[@carlaaustin7223]

@@jansteinvonsquidmeirsteen2256 not everyone had a noticeable accent. That's why I loved it.

[@belami_irl8543]

I don’t think we sound different...just slower and drag out the syllables a little 😉

[@stephenaelkinsactor]

"... meatballs are not supposed to be long!" 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂😂

[@martymcmannis9121]

One of the funniest I have ever seen. Hope he makes it big. And why would I want a serial killer that's for sale?

[@marietanner7538]

Our poodle, beef wellington! I was losing it!!

[@jesusmedina4494]

I was too.

[@Rita-23]

YES! 🤭

[@UFOzNoJoke]

😂

[@Sassysipe]

I LVE this man. Rolling on the floor. Loved the Target skit.

[@coltonius]

Funniest comic I've seen in quite awhile. Well done, sir!

[@Tomara1372]

You sir are absolutely HILARIOUS! I laughed so hard I cried, more than once!

[@worldaccumelites848]

I think I just swallowed and breathed at the same time🤣🤣🤣

[@raven090303]

Oh my gawd I am dying. He is absolutely hilarious.

[@audreycasassa1683]

Oh my goodness I needed this today. Thank you!!!

[@IamwhoIam333]

When I was 8 year's old I heard this poem and since everyone around me who heard it laughed and laughed I memorized it.. I didn't have a clue what it meant yet All I knew was that it made people laugh. So, I thought I would would share it with my Mom, and she laughed, yet told me I was NOT TO GO AROUND REPEATING IT. Anyway, I didn't listen and she heard me repeating it and SO later after dinner my Mom had me sit down by my Dad and she said : I instructed her not to repeat this poem she is going to recite to you. So I repeated : 😁 Untitled Now that you are old and feeble your pilot light has gone out. What use to be your sex appeal is now your water spout. It sure use to embarrass you to make the thing behave when every single morning it would stand up and watch you shave, BUT now that you have grown OLD it sure give's you the BLUES as it hangs down your leg and WATCHES YOU TIE YOUR SHOE. He didn't laugh, right then. He did tell me that a lady doesn't recite such poetry in mixed company and until I understood what I was reciting I was not to repeat it. Not until after I got married and had children. 😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😅😂😂🤣😅😂😂🤣😅😂🤣

[@karenc2837]

I go a lot of laugh out of that. Thank you.

[@lindamaemullins5151]

😂

[@maykigarzon]

what a funny guy! was able to talk to Andy for a while. Such a smart and nice person. Hope to see him perform live.

[@SarahLizDoan]

Who hasn’t swallowed and breathed at the same time? Seriously!! So funny!!

[@TaylorSmith-fz7qn]

Happens more often than I'd like to admit. Worse part is, I know I'm not a genius, but, I really feel like a dumbass when it does. It's not bad enough that I have to mow lawns for a living, but apparently I can't breathe or talk with any amount of spit in my mouth. So, yeah, I actually did find the joke quite funny, at my own expense.

[@Subaruej20]

Yep I hate that...just out of the blue you start coughing and it's always a big drama lol

[@truthanderror1038]

Excellent material. Very funny. Not many comedians out there that can deliver 30 minutes without dropping the F-Bomb. His style is similar to Brain Regan who I consider the best stand up around. This guy is really terrific. Great job.

[@TheOneWhoDings]

That choking by your own saliva joke really hit, happened to me many times

[@lindamaemullins5151]

Yep 😂🥴

[@Dixon_1974]

Happens to me in public, I try to hold in the cough so no one thinks I have covid.

[@MichaelSanAngelo]

too many times to count... :/

[@robz5435]

"Meatballs are not supposed to be long..." LOL!

[@clarineolson6612]

This guy is hilarious. Had me laughing the entire time!! The turtle bit at the end almost did me in. Great job Andy....love your humor. Hope you hit it big in comedy....you deserve itA

[@ashleygardner4104]

I literally howled and laughed out loud at this guy! My windows are open so the neighbors probably think I'm crazy!

[@cultofpersonalit1888]

Same.

[@deegrant6426]

Almost injured myself listening to Andy! Great show

[@aaronterrell3452]

Andy is very funny! He kept a smile on my face! Thank you!

[@tdanjones]

I love dry bar videos but this guy was AWESOME! really just listen to the crowd reaction to him was 10 times the energy of most comics on here. Excellent work Sir. I think I'll have to listen to it again!

[@comicbiga]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the kind words.

[@tdanjones]

@@comicbiga Don't thank me... you did it... LOL that one stuck! Great job! if you can make me LOL for real on a tape... yeah you are doing something right!

[@ScottieD813]

This guy's a hoot! As always, great entertainment!

[@silka9187]

My daughter almost died in a car accident and after she came out of the coma had a British accent. To our joy, as my daughter recovered her normal voice returned.

[@garyhundsrucker7771]

My daughter does a great British accent and there must be british girls who do american accents because they think they're being funny .....and you know what?They are!

[@PazLeBon]

we have a thousand accents in Britain :)

[@PazLeBon]

@John LaFever ahh, that minority posh private education voice, thats reallly not the sound of the nation :)

[@PazLeBon]

@John LaFever zzzzzzz

[@stevenwilson6450]

Andy, I haven’t laughed that hard for awhile. Wonderful comedy! Laughed so hard I bit my tongue! All the best to you and your career!

[@letsart6434]

I've watched every dry bar vid on KZbin and so far this guy and kellyn are my favorites

[@hollymclaughlin2311]

Same here, he's gteat! I hope he gets a Netflix special.

[@youichiminagawa2554]

Dayumn, those eyeballs got some skills!

[@carlaaustin7223]

You're right. It made my eyes ache trying to follow the eye movement.

[@DeathBySploot]

They did more splits than the strippers at the local optometrist!

[@kimmyscooking7956]

You sure you downt mean eyebawls?

[@rumple.stiltskin]

Too funny!!! Took a day off work and now my sides and face hurt from laughing!!!

[@Tenacious-Tiger]

Genuinely funny guy, can't tell what's coming next, truly fresh comedy.

[@radroofer]

I used to live in a haunted trailer. I named him and talked with him. It was fun once he quit not only turning everything electric on but at full volume

[@radroofer]

@Mike Ray did you try to get to know it?

[@Violet-qf8dr]

Years ago I had a spirit that always turned on my stereo when I walked in the door. The first time it happened, it nearly have me a heart attack. I had a client who was able to talk to spirits and asked her to tune in. She said, "He just wants you know he is here and he's happy you're not afraid of him." She also told me to burn some white sage and he would move on to the next realm. A few days later I burned some and he was gone.

[@cs_fl5048]

Hankerin' to go to Talladega.... ok. I laughed out loud at that.

[@Alwis-Haph-Rytte]

"Need ya to look at something for me", Yes, the one thing that's not in a singles ad. "Wanted, woman to scratch and itch the zits or blackheads I can't reach." Nothing like a good back scratcher, and if she can cook too, wow, what a woman.

[@MasterAnakinSkyWalker]

25:03 "How do you know it tastes like vanilla? Do you know my optometrist?"

[@dimesonhiseyes9134]

My friend's dad got hit by a truck riding his bicycle. He broke a dozen bones and got a bad concussion. He nearly died. While he was recovering he started speaking fluent Spanish. Not just a few common words he knew but fluent Spanish. The crazy thing is he took one Spanish class in highschool 30 something years earlier.

[@PazLeBon]

Eso casi me pasó, se cayó de la silla de mi oficina y ahora solo puedo escribir en español

[@dimesonhiseyes9134]

@@PazLeBon that's insane! do you remember being able to write something else? do you "know" you should be able to write something else and just can't? Or does it just feel natural? ¡Eso es una locura! ¿recuerdas haber podido escribir algo más? ¿"sabe" que debería poder escribir otra cosa y no puede? ¿O simplemente se siente natural?

[@sinistersam9855]

If stories like this are true, that means language is already programmed on our brains.

[@dimesonhiseyes9134]

@@sinistersam9855 possibly. He spoke that way for 3 or 4 days it's been 15ish years so I forget the exact time. The vast majority of the time he was recovering from the brain injury he spoke mostly jibberish. Non stop for about 20 hours a day. Just rambling on and on. He would use real words and complete sentences but for instance he would talk for 20 min about a vent in the ceiling and how we should take it apart to see how it worked and the next he would talk about how cold it was outside and how much it was snowing (it was August and like 100 degrees outside). Or about a car he never had. You could talk to him and he would answer back but his answers were often disconnected with the topic or confused. Then one day he just started speaking Spanish at first it was just random words and he would do this super cheesy cartoonish accent. But after about half a day or so he started speaking in complete sentences. His topics were still just kinda random but they were not what you would consider begining Spanish you would learn in a basic Spanish class in highschool. One of his nurses was Hispanic and she would talk to him and he would talk back. After about 4 days it just stopped. He still spoke in random topics but no longer in Spanish. He eventually made a near full recovery. He was never quite the same as before but he was pretty close and he never remembered speaking in Spanish (he also didn't remember anything for about a 6 month window around the accident although it's not that surprising).

[@sinistersam9855]

@@dimesonhiseyes9134 well I'm happy he made it through it

[@jamie5942]

This guy is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! Thank you so very much for making me laugh when I really need it the most... Life is a struggle and it's hard to see the light with so much darkness but I've always said laughter is the best high/medicine in the world... ❣️🤗🙏

[@Aiyan777]

😂😂😂 This guy is Gold! "Cutting carbs =cutting bagels! Krispy Kreme =Crystal meth 😂

[@SarahLizDoan]

Yes, solid gold comedy!!

[@globetrekker86]

@Aiyan Turley: Andy could call his Netflix special “Breaking Bad Like Homer Simpson” (crystal meth + donuts)

[@jamesestelle7260]

It's a stolen joke

[@did7801]

Your pic is great!

[@UFOzNoJoke]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mbking4698]

Hysterical to the end! I looove this guy! Great job, Andy!

[@pipdippitydoooo]

Hilarious! I want more!

[@Pumpkin0_0]

"Meatballs are not supposed to be long." XD

[@UFOzNoJoke]

😂

[@payableondeath9091]

🤣lmao😂

[@UFOzNoJoke]

@@payableondeath9091 😁😂😭😂😂

[@maggsh7791]

South Carolina in the house! "Matches with the teeth now"😂

[@emiliadavis8247]

Maggie H Me too! What part?

[@jackrash5438]

Gaffney here

[@emiliadavis8247]

@@jackrash5438 one of my dear friends from a summer camp, tons of years ago, lived in Gaffney for a long time.

[@ASC10120]

Pickens SC right here! 👋

[@emiliadavis8247]

@@ASC10120 I lived in Columbia, Lexington, and Charleston SC!

[@marionholtzmann6872]

I really enjoyed this, what a talented guy, great story telling and nicely animated, also loved the no profanity, so I shared this to my friends on FB 👍🏻

[@marionholtzmann6872]

@Stephanie Holey yes, DryBar comics are "clean" comics. Once in a while YT suggest other comics from other sites, and the swearing and foul language is terrible, I just turn it off.

[@lewis2553]

@Stephanie Holey I know. I had a friend once, and I had to put an "f___ing" filter between my ears and my mind just to understand what he said. It was like every other word was that. It's like watching Porky Pig and thinking, "Come on, come on, spit it out!" Too, sometimes, you feel like Sylvester listening to Foghorn Leghorn drone on and on. You just want to say, "Ah, shut up!"

[@curtisvanderhart2161]

I shared him to my Facebook wall too!

[@Alien_at_Large]

The bras on the doorknobs, LOL.

[@caroliner2029]

Hahaha!😂 That's what doorknobs were invented for.

[@lennoxmagoqoza3606]

My favourite, this one!

[@WearingGoldluck]

What a long winded cat poop joke, I’m impressed

[@litlquiver]

My daughter was very sick, with high fevers. She never had any accent being from the pacific northwest. Once on the mend she ended up with foreign accent syndrome, and speaks with a deep southern drawl. Funny as heck.

[@40stefanie]

It's not foreign accent though, it's a form of brain damage from illness

[@litlquiver]

@@junoantaresofficial True, to someone in another part of the world we would seem to have an accent. As for my daughter she was never around anyone with a southern drawl. It is slowly going away now. Which is kind of a bummer.

[@blal07]

We need to hear it

[@blal07]

@@litlquiver post a video of her drawl. Document it for later.

[@redrickgrass]

Andy is one of the funniest comedians I have ever enjoyed!!

[@lenorejones8339]

He's hysterical!

[@kasomoru6]

Lol how many cats do you have 2, 3, 400 lol hundred 😆 🤣

[@jebsmith323]

in the dark on my deck in South Carolina at 2 AM laughing loud enough to wake the neighbors

[@cosmyccowboy]

Man I got tears in my eyes

[@UFOzNoJoke]

😂

[@bigdave1539]

“I’m A Brain Surgeon!!”🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@osco4311]

Jeff Foxworthy has a similar bit

[@robertgallentine1095]

That turtle joke got me. Dad gold.

[@wilclark2272]

Thank you Andy, you gave me ammunition to use against my partner, he's a semi hoarder. We have two cats, one of whom likes to poop on the bathroom floor every other morning in front of the litter box whether its clean or not. Not the best way to wake up..., do I make coffee first as I smell poop, or do I clean it up first ? I can see the litter box and poop from the coffee maker in the kitchen. The worse part is that I think she's part moose, I can't believe her bumhole is able to snap back shut, its like she eats a full sized Snickers and then washes it down with concrete. I could kill Al-Quida with one of her turds. LoL Anyway..., I told the hubby what you said about cats and hoarders and he was NOT amused, but I sure as hell was. 😁😁😁😁 He gave me such a dirty look, and went back to watching Rachel Ray. LOL

[@globetrekker86]

Andy, dressed as Winnie-the-Pooh... Holy smokes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@caroliner2029]

"Argh! My eyes!" Hahaha!😂

[@eriksteffen6166]

I didn't get it until he said wearing nothing but a red half shirt....omg 👀😳🤣

[@rodneyhanbaum697]

That was a hoot!

[@blazze7772]

Dude the Brah thing was soo spot on I have this same issue with my Wife!!!🤣🤣🤣

[@rocktech7144]

If you are lucky your wifes bra will stop the door from even closing completely.

[@caroliner2029]

Hahaha!😂 That's what they invented doorknobs for.

[@deanplaia9166]

This guy is absolutely HILARIOUS! I f he goes on America Got Talent, he will WIN the million dollars !!!

[@peggylutton1341]

He is hilarious!!

[@edgarflores5569]

He's got a creepy vibe and cool -sometimes darkish- jokes, I loved it! The vet and the optometrist cracked me up!! Good stuff for sure

[@MadScientist267]

Not stolen from Larry the Cable Guy? 🤣

[@nenaelliott8058]

Andy is hilarious. I was cracking up through the whole set. What a great comic.

[@johnmcneil5238]

This guy killed it

[@3lightsteps]

This guy is hilarious!

[@Aaron.Reichert]

16:30 Soda almost came out my nose and it now burns. Wrong time to take a drink.

[@renatawarec]

This man is fantastic!!thanks for the funnies!!!

[@mhharley]

Yaaaaaasssssssss. Krispy Kream on Person St. My car becomes self-driving sometimes and ends up at KK on Pearson every time it does that. LOL

[@johndifrancisco3642]

I've never seen him before but I hope to see a lot more, especially if he wears that Winnie The Pooh costume ! Needs to be "Top Billing" for sure.

[@rayflores8411]

This guy is so funny! My new favorite!

[@michellebarnhill5130]

This man is FUNNY!!

[@Fu4li]

When I was in high school I got pulled over and the cops found an empty film container with dirt in it. They tried pressuring me into saying it was my friends weed. When I kept telling him hes holding dirt he eventually let us go.

[@enceladus2263]

The Krispey Kreme he mentions in Raleigh is a real location haha

[@queenofbuttercream]

I know someone with it. He's right, they never have a southern accent 🤣🤣🤣

[@eleni1968]

I loved that "she had her teeth fixed and now she has a British accent" or... that "the SC cops couldn't tell the difference between Crystal Meth and the icing from a Krispy Kreme donut." Hilarious!!!!

[@PoliticalWonderland]

Yup as a kid I would ask my mom “when will I get visible eyebrows!!” I didn’t even care when I got boobs!! I wanted to stop drawing on eyebrows(in my day only people who did that where old lady’s)

[@runouno]

Don't leave us hangin' though, when did you get them?

[@blahblahblahblah2837]

I too wanted visible eye brows as a kid. My dreams came true and now I've got nothing left to wish for 🤣

[@lewis2553]

Yeah, when did your eyebrows become visible?

[@JB-pj3se]

Hilarious 😂 "Somebody needs to wipe me".

[@pattysalvatore1407]

I actually have kept the memory of that happening to me, never have told anyone...yet. I was about 3 or 4 yrs old. I dont know what holiday it was but we were waiting to watch a parade that was going to go down our street. We would watch it from our front windows. I was in the bathroom , sitting on the toilet when suddenly my brother is yelling out " The parade, the parade is coming !! My mother hurries through the four rooms of our apartment to watch the parade, leaving me stranded, obviously not knowing how to wipe my own butt. I missed a parade because I was too dependant on others to do it for me. Crying out "wipe my hiney" over and over,, was when I decided I never wanted to need anyone help again, and that I must become as self sufficient as possible !

[@childoftheeternalking2041]

JB I have heard that sentence before 😂

[@em1osmurf]

my all-time best radio commercial: "we use american-made parts and equipment, installed by americans, and maintained by americans, and WE SPEAK ENGLISH!!"

[@blackdogslivesmatter1568]

Funny how when Americans travel to other countries there are not many that bother to learn the language even when they move their permanently. Some do but most dont.

[@mustachadon]

English is the national language. Its so powerful that in many other industrialized countries its becoming the standard. They dont want our miles per hour though. English is the language of industry.

[@carolyntalbot947]

@@mustachadon English is the language of Colonialism and Imperialism, I think you meant to say.

[@carolyntalbot947]

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@mustachadon]

@@carolyntalbot947 suuuuuuuuuure

[@CamboTriton]

This was the best 26 minutes of comedy I’ve watched in a long time!

[@dannyb20vtec28]

Cross between, chris Farley and Ralphie may

[@zrk1147]

And Jim Gaffigan

[@tinysmisadventures3051]

He's looks like Larry Joe Campbell's much funnier husky cousin...hell,idk. 🤷😂

[@bigray2859]

@@ingest-a-satchel-of-richards wow, didn't know ralphie may died...bad juju, indeed.

[@jamesbullo]

He looks a bit more alive to me.

[@onpsxmember]

Comedians have it even harder to eat right being on the road all the time. But he really has to. So many great comedians lost health problems stemming from eating habits. Patrice O'Neal, Ralphy May, John Pinnette...dropping around 55. Only drinking water instead of soda is a big step. Well done set btw.

[@KoolHandJuke]

@M Fisher If the food tastes really good and you're hungry, that's the problem. I'd rather go quick from a massive heart attack, then die a slow, starving, painful death... when cardboard starts looking really good if you just had a salt shaker nearby.

[@KoolHandJuke]

@M Fisher Yes. In probably the majority of cases it's a lack of discipline. In other cases, there may be other genetic factors that come into play, correct? But honestly, why do you care so much that you have to state it twice in this comment section? Maybe, since you care so much, you can write a book to help those weak, flawed, undisciplined fatties? You're peerless, after all. 💥Teach them, oh, Great One!💥 Be so kind and share your wisdom with us; the unwashed. 😅 Phhht! Give it a rest, Fisher.

[@KoolHandJuke]

@M Fisher No. I understood perfectly. I made a joke. You doubled down on being judgemental and I called you out. I'm not defensive at all, you kinda seem paranoid though... and judgemental, did I mention that?😃 Write a diet book. Enlighten all of those fat, undisciplined simpletons! 😙 Let them eat cake, honey!

[@KoolHandJuke]

@M Fisher Hang on now, Fisher king! Weren't you the one that initiated all of this when you *labeled* overweight ppl as ones having "mental health issues and a lack of self-discipline"? You're going to try to project your insecurity issues onto me!? My oh my, you shore nuff be one helluva judgemental creature! Bless your heart! Sorry, homie. That don't fly where I come from! Jog off quietly now, Fisher-Price. Be good and jog off. 🖑

[@carolyntalbot947]

Great set. I wish he didn't explain the jokes, I think they landed just right without lines like "...because the English aren't known for dental care" or whatever. Still: very solid.👏👏👏

[@madcyclist58]

Little known (in the US anyway) fact, British people don't spend money on cosmetic dentistry like Americans, but in a recent international survey ranked higher for oral health. .

[@thebeaugator]

If you have to expand a joke it's not Funny

[@SensSword]

10:20 what's wrong with a nice white cotton shirt and camouflage pants? That's literally what I'm wearing right now as I'm bird watching in my backyard...

[@dp7528]

I laughed so much my belly aches; Wishing he could be on Netflix

[@loverules7691]

Optometrist joke was hilarious!