You Can’t Change Them - Man or Beast

[@DryCreekWranglerSchool]

I forgot! The cigar is a Partagas Black Label 6x60

[@Fhdrdjbvhj]

Smoking the exact same stick right now! Truly appreciate your thoughts & perspective. Thank you

[@azzystyle94]

Happy birthday

[@DiamondRidgeHomestead]

Happy Birthday Dewayne! I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.

[@rabbishlabinowitz4559]

Thank you!

[@rabbishlabinowitz4559]

Love your cigar suggestions

[@_.-AAA-._]

The only person you can change is yourself, and only if you want to.

[@n4ughty_knight]

That's not entirely true. If you make someone angry, you've changed them. 😂

[@LeapFrog_Radio]

​@@n4ughty_knight big difference between a temporary state, and the core personality

[@LaLaLucky7777]

The only thing I would change about myself? To stay away from Evil people! And enjoy life

[@RobLewis3]

God changes us, not us.

[@putinstea]

That's hilarious 😃

[@giovannicintolo89]

A fine rocking chair from a fine wife. Beautiful wisdom and a great cigar. Happy birthday

[@ArthurM1863]

"If you want something to change, you have to accept it" - Alan Watts

[@cptwoody7103]

You're good man !!

[@wango556]

The only thing we control in life is our reaction to things that happen. Best life advice I have ever received.

[@noblesavage6858]

We have to respond, not react

[@Ekanselter]

Turning up the heat by screaming and hollering at a spouse will only build resistance and resentment. Sadly, many young people grow up thinking that is a potential solution simply from watching mom and dad.

[@BoostedPastime]

Absolutely, don't repeat the cycle.

[@davidcoffman4202]

Walk away

[@ВиталийСлонов-ч4ъ]

​@@davidcoffman4202👌

[@nebelstift]

Yeah, I really don't want to be like that. Pray for me and my fellow brothers who will walk the same Path.

[@PeachDragon_]

Soft beats strong. Works with people, animals and even politics

[@patrickk4293]

Happy Birthday Dewayne! ❤❤

[@Zacattack2077]

Where has this guy been all my life? My Wyoming uncle I never knew I needed.

[@bruceshearer1719]

“He chose peace”..........perfect. ❤😊

[@gregvaughntx]

Wise advice. I think I was in my mid 40's when I figured out I can't change anyone else. The best I can hope for is to change myself, and even that is hard.

[@RespectTheChemistry]

I just rescued a very high energy dog from the humane society a few days ago and this is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Dogs and horses may be different physically, but I think the sentiment is still valid. Wisdom from those with experience is always valuable to those who want to learn 🙂

[@StephenBerney-sh3nh]

" I offered him an alternate approach...and he changed" What a line! Love it! As an EHS Manager in the Manufacturing arena for 30 years I have learned the secret to change, and it is just that, offering an alternative approach. Now, if I could only make the damn horse drink!

[@johnhanson4795]

they wont drink cause they used to dirty water

[@severecracker3640]

I got a free horse because the owner spoiled him so bad he became barn sour. Once saddled and out the gate he would crow hop, so they turned around. They gave up on him. I took him, worked him in the round pen. It took two weeks for him to realize how things work. He got so obedient that if I look at his shoulder without touching he would give to my eyes. My leg ques were very soft. He knew how to read the changes in my seat. He turned into a very good horse. Occasionally he’d get cold backed. So I let him get it out. Sometimes it was on a lead sometimes I was on him. I worked cows on him. He was fearless. I cow hunted on him, we got bad stuck in a flag pond. I worked him out slowly. Took some digging. Only thing is he would colic. I finally got that straightened out too. Great video. Makes a lot of sense

[@LottieMatiskella]

Just like people, they cannot change; we can change how we care for them. That is what you are doing. Agree with you 100 percent; people and animals have to want to change.

[@InvictusManeo.]

A man must recognise that things can easily change and he must therefore prepare his mind for those changes so that they do not come as a surprise and then become a great burden upon him, he must fortify himself in readiness for the inevitable event. The Pessimist is always lurking in the back of his mind.

[@TheTexasBoys]

Amen friend...every single homeschool mom of little boys needs to watch, digest and apply this.

[@jocelynllamas6600]

In line with Dewayne's perspective, I want to emphasize the importance of embracing and accepting genuine efforts towards change. What I mean to say is that it's crucial to let go of past behaviors. Whether individuals have completely transformed or are making progressive strides, acknowledging their journey is vital. Dwelling on past actions serves no purpose; instead, it's essential to release them. Bringing up past behaviors only hinders growth. Statements like, "You would have binge-drunk if you had one drink," or "I kept this secret because of your past angry outbursts," are unproductive. It's important to recognize that these behaviors are no longer part of the person's present reality. It's important to recognize and appreciate the strides someone is making towards becoming a better version of themselves. Encouragement and support can go a long way in fostering personal development and building trust

[@guywerry6614]

Good advice.

[@cosmicbalancer5084]

Impeccable insight. Also, changing oneself for someone else’s desire is a trap. Change for yourself. That’s what matters most.

[@haithamyassen9715]

I always tell my friends and family, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” Thanks for the lecture today

[@alvindueck2104]

Speaking about a person with a temper, that was me. And it took me years and one very scary moment for me to open my eyes to the reality of it. I stormed off into dad's shop after, shaking scared of what I almost done. Had a real serious one on one with God. I don't know how long I was in the shop, felt like hours. But after that, I actually cared to REALLY try and become a better person. Wasn't easy at first. My brother tried things to get a reaction and man, the temptation to deck him was strong. But I didn't. He couldn't believe it. But with time, he backed off. I still have dark moments, but not near as many as I used to 20 some years ago.

[@jaylon.713]

One of the hardest lessons to realize and apply.

[@mountaineerhideaway]

Dewayne, this video came at absolutely the right time. Although it’s not a marriage it parallels with the relationship to my 76 year old mother. The parallel are spot on. She simply will not stop falling for scams. I manage her finances and she continues to give money away. Your video gave me the exact tact I need to take. THANK you! I will offer and alternative solution. I have to work on my patience and temper. I turn 56 in May and I take away great things from your videos.

[@finngamesknudson1457]

When dementia begins, it becomes virtually impossible for them to choose to change and carry through. Not saying your mother is demented, but I’d strongly suspect she’s begun on path of cognitive decline. It is tough on caregivers, so don’t expect any easy solutions. Just manage her finances as well as you can, love her, and appreciate the time you have with her - it is tragically short.

[@jeffdanner653]

Glad you stepped back , took a deep breath , used your common sense ; and decided to continue to guide us humans , horses and mules . It's a shame that one jackass caused you to consider moving away from your God given gift . Happy to see you "back on the trail" again . 🍀

[@PhamVans]

Very wise words my dear sir. This was quite literally one of the biggest turning points in my life... When I realized that it's not in my power to change (or control) any of the people around me, was when I became a totally different person. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Things started to become so much more clearer, as I learned how to just focus on controlling myself as well as my own thoughts. It is indeed very true that you can't change people... But you can always influence them through your own words and actions.

[@shawnc318]

Exactly

[@JohnnyDont]

I very much appreciate these fireside chats. Living while surrounded by so many folks in the city who get stuck watching blinking lights all day is disconnecting. Being able to kick these kinds of videos on while working in the garage (getting my late grandfather's 50 year old rototiller back running soon currently) gives me some respite and some sorely needed wisdom.

[@chrisnewtownnsw]

Oh Dwayne I hope you understand how truly charismatic and legendary your disposition is, especially for a man like me in my early 40's. You are appreciated.

[@ckyrooster]

Praise Yah, thank you, Brother! You sure have a way about you. A great "Teacher". Much Love

[@JamezEd1tz]

Love getting wise words from you dewayne

[@nicholasdominic2825]

I had to quit drinking on my own and it’s hard but not impossible ,especially when you straighten up and reflect on your actions and how they affect not just you but others you love.

[@eldudearino89]

Man...the whole shot reminds me of my papaw in his corner chair with the wood paneling rambling on about similar things. I thank him for many things. As well as yourself. Thank you

[@dhwardani]

Happy Birthday Dewayne!!! From a young man down here in Florida, you have done nothing but change my life and help me recognize I can change myself in ways I had long forgotten was possible! :)

[@raymondbradley6788]

Happy birthday Dwayne. You got an awesome lady that takes care of you that priceless.👍👍👍

[@brworthington_]

Learned this lesson the hard way in a relationship. Giving yourself the option to move on when the person chooses separation instead of positive change is a massive step.

[@orizinex]

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.

[@MadonnaGrogan]

Perfect?

[@williamfernandez1022]

You are a godsend Dewayne! This couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for your wisdom 🙏🏼

[@abdullahlibzo6914]

I am about to turn 20 years old and for the past 6 years I've been blessed with a lady that taught me a lot of things. She taught me that there is a better option other than getting angry, she taught me to handle situations with a calm mind. She taught me that everything can be solved with words, there's no need to throw hands right away. She taught me that there's no need to speed and risk and put myself in danger, I can always speak what's on my mind and get the weight off my chest without risking anything. She opened my eyes in a lot of things, I raised her and she raised me, we learn from eachother. She is a gift from heaven and I want to wife her up, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am trying to get on my feet. Boys please pray for us that things will work out, because we went through the hardest things and I just want to slow down and find peace with her.

[@-1.2.5.6.3]

Just hearing this man talking is so relaxing he brings inner peace

[@taconinja4802]

I’m a stubborn horse, but I watched your video on forgiveness and you gave me a better option. Let it go so I did. Peace it’s been two years since I had peace.

[@JuanLopez-jk9mu]

Dewayne, your channel should be a required course in early high school, it would change so many lives. Keep it up, appreciate your time.

[@Kblessthealien]

This is by far the best channel on KZbin. 35 and trying to change a woman I want to marry. She is cleaved to her widowed mother who is a lovely lady but they spend every waking moment together and it’s damaged our budding relationship deeply. Needed this bit of wisdom. God bless you brother. Thanks for sharing.

[@Barnabas70x7]

Love has a way of bringing about a positive change but fear seems to bring about a negative change that is resentful.

[@jeffrey6618]

I LOVE THAT WOOD STOVE AND THE COFFEE OH YEAH GOD BLESS AND THANKS FOR THE ADVICE

[@frankgonzales2462]

To you sir a very Happy Birthday!! Thanks for all your advice and wisdom,Im old school myself still believe morals, scruples which are very rare in this age and time!!! God bless you and your Mrs.🙏🙏

[@davidskaggs9914]

Great words of wisdom for horses and people

[@_bluephoenix_]

I always remind myself of your prior video - you have to meet them where they are, on the day. Preconceptions of how you expect them to behave will only lead to frustration- and everyone has their own way, emotions etc that fluctuate. Have an amazing birthday week ahead! May the blessings be fruitful and continuous.

[@dannykoppelaar]

Thank you for this insight! I'm on the journey of change myself. I'm three months sober now. I didn't to drink alcohol/get drunk any more. I'm also looking into christianity. In a previous video, you mentionted a story of Jesus helping others out of compassion, which is something I try to do myself, and I realise it is the way I wish to continue, and a place where I can find like-minded people. I will probably do an orientation course for christianity, which includes bible study, as well as discussions about topics surrounding christianity. I'm happy to have these insights at the age of 26, so I can have a longer, happier, and calmer life.

[@kp8825]

Thank you Dwayne for continuing to bring sound logic to this generation. Hugs to you and mama for such a great council on how a marriage works. Thank you sir.

[@morgant-raww176]

WORDS NEVER BEEN TRUER.💯

[@betty27246]

Don't be surprised when the movie producers come after you. Enjoyed this video so much. 😊😊

[@ethanoverwatch407]

I will change myself. I have been working on it all 2024. The part where you said something along the lines of trying to change someone and that becoming all you see, forgetting the positives, has opened my eyes to that again. I am the one who wants to change and that has blinded me to the positives in my relationship and life. Thank you for reinforcing my spirit with the words I need.

[@BR549-i3z]

Happy Birthday 🎂 thanks for that , patience that's a hard one for me sometimes. I'm studying 📖 and learning You know I thank GOD for Ole Timers when I reflect some Precious Folks that knew a little somethin helped me and at the time I didn't even realize it. THANK YOU. 👍🏻

[@igorcastilhos]

You are the Grandfather that i've never had. There's so much knowledge in your words..Greetings down from Brazil Dwane.

[@HustleHabit]

This speaks to power versus force... Power is what you have within. Force is what's exerted on others against their will.

[@puddintang]

Very truthful words of wisdoms. For relationships period. I know a bit on this subject myself. My wife is an addict, 10 years clean. We are happier now than we have ever been. All my bitching and hollering never helped anything. Options and is what helped and turned her around.

[@lilliehicks2122]

I respectfully and sincerely hope you do another sermon on Tac room bible talk, soon 💛

[@yukisshadow]

Hearing how much you love your wife really makes me so happy, it brings tears to my eyes because it's such a beautiful thing that I dont often hear or see. I really hope that I can find and cultivate a loving relationship such as you have. I will have hope 🙏

[@darylmiller8911]

This helped me, I really needed to hear this today.

[@ONSLAWTT]

Dwayne, although I'm 49 and my father just passed in June of 2023, I miss him sooo much beyond what I can explain. I receive your words as gold. Had I taken his advice when I was 19 I'd be retired now, enjoying my wife and children. I always loved talking with him and listening to him in the latter part of my life. Now that I will receive it better, he's unfortunately no longer with us.... I turn to your videos to fulfill what I still needed to hear from my father 😢 Thank you sir

[@kevinbutler1114]

This hits hard for me because I recently ended a relationship with a friend who was constantly needing me to bail them out of one crisis after another because of their bad decisions. After realizing that they were never going to stop doing things that were leaving me both penniless and destroying my trust in them, I had to decide if their friendship was worth the cost. I miss that friend and I wish them only the very best, but my life is much better now without them in it.

[@faith2691]

Well, my mood and attitude certainly improved when I stopped eating processed foods and I feel better when I've been out in nature. Unfortunately most people wouldn't accept that option if I gave it to them. I now what's not your point. After leaving my husband I've changed a lot, by choice, as you say. If I ever enter another relationship it will be with a new mind set. No fixer uppers 😂. If you're trying to fix somebody it's because you need to fix a wound in yourself. Thank you and happy birthday!

[@TrotterSoccer]

So true, but sometimes waiting patiently does not lead to success. Then you have to go separate ways...and once you have realized this "unchangeable" fact in and of life, you don't want to waste energy and time once more. Hence: harder to find a new spouse. But always nice to have yourself at that point.

[@ienodabeanieboi1891]

It's crazy how fast his beard is turning white

[@amybahner6511]

His wisdom is showing.

[@oddly.specific.subliminals7053]

Oh my god just noticed, that’s so cool.

[@johnfish7144]

@@amybahner6511 my facial hair really started getting white a few years ago. With me I doubt it’s from wisdom 🤣😂

[@amybahner6511]

@@johnfish7144 😂 lol, well usually it does!

[@SlappyG]

@@johnfish7144… yeah but you can chalk it up to experience so there’s that…

[@Barca019]

Happy Birthday Sir! Wish you many happy years with your family and loved ones! Thank you for your golden words! Salam Aleykum from Azerbaijan :)

[@Elaine-k6q]

Right on Mr Dewayne, Brother your a TRUE Treasure and Man, Thank you 💕 just for being U.. unique, blessed, Up right HUMAN...

[@marinawilkinson5840]

You’re absolutely amazing. I love hearing what you have to say. It resonates with me in my life and with others in my life who I feel aren’t doing the best thing in situations. So thank you so much.❤️

[@OffroadHomestead2784]

Yup on changing someone. Me and my ex wife ended up hating each other

[@darknitethunder]

What I have learned is that, you can not change a Hard Head Person to do anything that they don't want to do. However the one thing that you can do is, give them a little insight from your own experiences in life. After doing so, it's been in a very few cases where upon giving someone some good advice, they went on to learn the hard way. After that, they came back to me and said so. My only response was hope you have learned something about yourself. Experience is the best teacher. Being Old and Wise doesn't come easy.

[@LaLaLucky7777]

Pennsylvania New Jersey and New York hit with Earthquakes my house shook for around 10 seconds! It was like a hard rumble! It was crazy! Happy Birthday Dwayne

[@scrider5493]

This was gospel, thank you. Understand better about people not changing than horses, that was an eye opener. I have been around people and did it myself, of hauling a horse around and I felt like a bully.

[@jonfernandez8027]

Lead by example, it's an effortless win/win. You put your head down and work on yourself, after a while those close to you are going to notice. They may compliment you and/or ask questions, they might not say anything at all. But they will notice. Your choices to live a better life are quiet, subtle reminders to others "You either keep up or fall behind." It's truly that simple.

[@chrisgilling543]

“The way, cannot be forced” - Lao Tzu

[@slimelove3493]

Thanks

[@slimelove3493]

Thanks

[@rebelonemarkgold4532]

Good morning Dwayne I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous 17 + years of sobriety off drugs and alcohol. Sometimes you just get damned sad that you can't change them. The wife keeps going back Had a heck of a time sleeping last night Then I woke up to you this morning I don't know about the rest of these Jack wagons I needed a small miracle this morning to remind me. I can't control nothing

[@trichomeful]

Happy birthday Sir. I knew we had something in commin and honored to be a student of your experience. Thank you.

[@Canopusparadise]

I like this video, I'd like more of them. please and thank you.

[@h0ph1p13]

I started picking up on this truth when I was in my 20s. It was a girlfriend I wanted to change. Really bad idea. Since then I picked one of the rules: "Don't try to change people. It's too painful." I have living a much more peaceful life since then. It is a good rule. Dewayne here has picked up more wisdom and can clearly articulate why it is a bad idea to try to change people. He can also reason about why that is so. The part where it's not our responsibility and not in our ability to change others... It is true. I have not put that down into words so far. Now i can see it as true as I overlap the meaning of your words and my experiences in life. Thanks!

[@imyourcaretaker]

Happy birthday Dwayne! I wish you a long and happy life. Thank you, Dwayne and Momma, for uploading this video. It has helped me get through some difficult times in my life.

[@davidfarrall]

Happy Birthday Dude. Many Happy Returns.

[@cynthiajones1461]

Life is a one day at a time sort of deal and that includes relationships. And today really can be the new first day of your life together.

[@jacobstanley3007]

Mr Dwayne I just want to say thank you for your content I started getting into cigars and you have helped me change my life around for the better. Thank you

[@Myglowtips]

The cigar videos in the Tak Shed (I learned through this channel, what a „Tak shed“ is), are absolutely unique and beautiful. This feels like how church should be. Life changing.

[@chrisklaeffling1]

Bill Gates said, "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." I suppose horses are similar to humans. The option part is very true. People usually don't do this. Happy birthday Dewayne and thanks for sharing all your wisdom!!

[@valeriebeauchamp2263]

That love towards Mama got me giggling like school girl, it's so cute... also it's a very important message.. I think it refers to communication, which is talking as well as listening... and patience and care is needed, all the contrast of people pleasing and control... love the videos, you're a real role model, thank you sir!

[@nicholastsardoulias1931]

Happy Birthday Brother!❤

[@Alienated420]

Currently working to change myself, and hoping it's not too late, for us. But know it's definitely not too late for me if nothing else. In fact I'ma go change something right now.

[@themasteryocheese8133]

You can't change anyone, but you can definitely influence and even inspire.

[@Andrea-kx1rb]

Thank you Dewayne! This came at the perfect time, I really needed to hear this. Wishing you a wonderful birthday!

[@brunobrunosjourney9944]

Happy birthday! You’re exactly right. This is the same with dogs. Training gives them more options and our choices if you will. It is up to them to make the right choice. Trust your training.

[@jerrytaylor7935]

This idea also rimes with the stoic principle, that the only thing one can control is oneself, not external events.

[@christyb7590]

Happy Birthday!!! Love your channel!! Thank you for the wonderful advice on horses and life in general. I am very grateful. I wanted to add something to what you are saying about the horse making the choice. The person must know what the options are and must be willing to go the distance with the horse. I have watched too many people completely overhorse themselves without the proper knowledge level. Seems to always end up with bad behavior from humans. You are a true horseman. Thank you for giving out proper knowledge. Omgosh yes I need to be more patient and understanding with the spouse. Yup.

[@arimarianne7528]

This entire video is wonderful. 14:00-15:00 I’m glad you brought up looking at the relationship as a whole and remembering the good things. My partner has a couple very small things that drive me batty sometimes, just like every human has a few faults of course, but I try to be patient, pray for patience, and remember all the good things about him, just like you said. It helps a lot. Dewayne, do you have any more advice on how to change yourself or develop new ans better habits? I’ve watched many of your videos about improving your life, habits, “trimming the fat,” etc. The tough thing is that as an adult, I can reward myself for anything (or nothing) all the time, so focusing on rewards isn’t very helpful. Focusing on consequences helps somewhat-“if I stay up late now, I’ll feel horrible tomorrow”- but it’s still an area of struggle for me. Thinking about the life I want to have in the future and the effects of my choices now can help, but it can be overwhelming or burdensome. Pop psychology isn’t much help either, nor the regular kind 😂 (Any fellow viewers/readers, ideas are welcome.) All the best to you and Momma. I’m so happy you guys are here. Be well, and enjoy that rocking chair! Rock on! 🎸

[@elliefisher8076]

thank you- this is so helpful for the pain I've endlessly found in trying to control life changes and relationships. I am a 22 year old woman who is graduating college soon and it has been very interesting coming to new conclusions through your wisdom. I'm learning to change- learning to let go.

[@diegomaiorino]

Thank you so much for your wisdom, DeWayne. I'm going through a time where my other half is trying to change things about me that I don't agree with, but she won't change or even find a compromise. Thank you for your words!

[@charlesclaridy8646]

🎉🎉🎉 Happy Birthday Sir! I do enjoy your wisdom. Best Regards!

[@Duvstep910]

Happy birthday; wish you many more 🇯🇲 thank you for all the insightful words and knowledge

[@DaveStevis]

This is so true, and my wife is my horse.

[@aren8798]

There is a lot of wisdom in this talk. I don’t agree, necessarily with the logic of how he got to some of it, but he arrives at a similar conclusion that I do and I respect that

[@edwardmanoukian425]

Your wisdom on all your videos is amazing. Just to hear it and know I am making the right choices now. Very grateful for your channel!

[@gers1222]

Happy Birthday!! Thank you for sharing your sound advice in the videos.

[@maxfrenn3281]

My old man taught me 2 lessons repeatedly as a kid. He repeatedly said them for years over and over as a kid. I had no idea how important they were till I got older. 1. NOTHING stays the same forever. 2. Every moment you are either chasing excellence or pleasure. Rule 1 taught me to appreciate the good times. As well as awareness it will change. The bad times were not as painful. Because I knew it would change. Political, economical, people, situations, jobs, daylight, winter, health. Absolutely nothing stays the same forever. As I age. I believe rule 1. Is a standard for life. RULE 2 The awareness of what you are doing can be extremely helpful and healthy. I am watching tv or having a drink with friends. I will spend a short time chasing pleasure. Because, I have chased excellence all week. It has kept me out of trouble. Folks that choose to chase pleasure often have a difficult life. Because pleasure gets harder to obtain the more you chase it. Chasing excellence often brings pleasure. Hopefully this helps my fellow gentlemen. Be aware be strong and listen to my guy Dwayne.

[@Insightsofthewise1776]

Absolute gold brother Dewayne. 👌 So much truth, and the analogy works perfectly. Thank you as always for sharing your thoughts. God bless you, your Bride, your family and your business. 👊