Whats The Difference Between Physical vs Social Dysphoria?

[@user-eh5mw8tm4n]

This is exactly what I've been thinking about these days. I'm a nonbinary young adult and growing up, I didn't have physical dysphoria during puberty. Instead I hated being gendered and being reminded of my AGAB. When I accepted that I'm transgender, as time went on I started developing physical dysphoria because I would be misgendered all the time no matter what I did. So on one hand I feel like medically transitioning is the only thing that will help, but on the other hand I'm not sure if making such a big decision based on other people is a good idea. I'd like to thing I feel neutral about my body but it might just be because I'm dissociating from it. I just wish to exist in a genderless way or at least to not be stuck with my AGAB 24/7 and so far medical transition seems to be the only way. I'm trying other things like changing my clothes/hair and I'm planning to go to the gym. But if it doesn't work then I'll most likely pursue medical transition. I just wonder if it's wrong for me to do so..

[@Johnny_T779]

Well, it depends if you use your chest or not. I had a reduction at 20 because the heaviness of it gave me severe back problems, but I lost sensation in one nipple. And they didn't bother telling me. The other miraculously survived and I feel lucky! I met a girl who lost both, it fucked up her intimate life. Now, although it would be cool to have a flat chest, I'll keep what I have to preserve the remaining nipple, because I can't... hum... finish without it. I won't deprive myself of pleasure to appease the eyes of cis society. Tight sports bra is enough to mask my chest, it's enough for me to pass (I'm on T). If your chest is nothing but a dead weight for you, go ahead. But if it's not, unless you can access peri, you'll loose erotic sensations. So... Really ponder the pros and the cons.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing, and those decisions can be hard to make.

[@sleepyeef36]

This describes every single thing I'm struggling with right now. "Am I only transitioning for other people?" Man, it's almost impossible to feel like any choices are good ones.

[@IssyVoca]

Hello. Being nonbinary I experience a mixture of physical and social dysphoria. I don’t outright hate my body, but it’s not a great source of joy either (thank you adipositas, urgh). I despise being read as my AGAB. I hate all the gender roles it brings and neither fits for me. The interesting thing is, as soon as I see myself on camera/pictures or in the mirror, the physical characteristics place me in the AGAB box and bam, dysphoria sets in. If I don’t see myself, I’m better.

[@DRZPHD]

Sorry to hear that. Avoiding looking at yourself is common way of avoiding dysphoria.

[@wigglyduck3690]

I feel everything you said!

[@IonasalSdorica]

Non-binary transfem here relating to this. I have been so against seeing myself and putting my pics up in any social media such as facebook (despite me using the highest possible privacy settings available), and I didn't even realize this was it because I didn't even know what gender was. This whole gender framework surely helped me contextualize the thoughts and feelings I've been having.

[@IssyVoca]

@@IonasalSdorica I didn’t know what dysphoria was or that I had it, until I found out, there is such a thing as nonbinary gender identities…

[@2oned528]

@@IonasalSdorica I'm a 35 year old male, and I went through the phase of finding body hair strange and a new beginning in me when I crossed puberty. That occurred for the next few years, as I grew more and more hair. In the duration, I observed the new changes, realized my pre-pubescent innocence of a child, and saw the new changes that were naturally occurring to be a part of my growth process. Over the next few years, I looked around in the world and mapped out my entire evolution through age until I had grey hair, etc. And I welcomed that change, that was my evolutionary right. I wore contacts because a) I needed to cuz of weak sight, and b) I felt better and stood out with a brown guy with hazel eyes. I was always dissecting myself in the mirror through the social/media norms of beauty, and I always wanted to be different and better. I wasn't "comfortable with my looks." Thank God we didn't have this carefully engineered language back then to capitalize on these very common insecurities and call it "dysphoria," and immediately offer drugs and blades to modify myself, because I most likely would have. With time, my confidence naturally built up as I discovered that I was unique in my own personal features and physique, and found people that were attracted to my type. And I guarantee you, no straight man feels comfortable staring at their genitalia. I went through that, because it was awkward to just stare at your own privates... I was naturally fascinated with the female body, and I could stare for days on end (still do!). That tells me that being a straight male, I'm attracted to the female body and want to engage in "play." The only corruption in interpretation of the self and the relationship with it that I see in the world is this new "injection" of a "virtual" narrative which isn't rooted in millions of years of natural psychological/biological/evolutionary/organic reality. Remember, every time things don't make sense, you start with the most real basis, and work everything out from there. Don't let a manipulative system destroy your life, with changes that are literally irreversible. Drugs make you feel "transcendent." It's why they're drugs. You want to be rooted in your organic reality. The only thing fluid is the mental perception of yourself and the world, always adjust your mind to align more with the hard facts of organics. Don't rearrange yourself in a way where once your mindset changes after a phase, you're left with a mutilation and a dysfunctional biological system. Weight the risks VERY Seriously. I support your birthright to live your life the way you want to. And I beg you to be extremely smart when it comes to risk-assessment and situational awareness and management for the LONG term. Finally... nourish who you're born to be. You don't believe in God, don't. Believe in the Infinite Wisdom of the Universal Nature, the most advanced form of organic intelligence. And adjust your feelings and perception according to that. Trust me, that system will NEVER let you down. Take as MUCH time as you need before jumping into a dark unknown abyss. Even put yourself off drugs... have the will and courage to explore yourself naturally. Experiment with different perceptions to align yourself more to your natural being. Trust me, the psychological and subconscious and superconscious depths of that system are PERFECTLY aligned to the very fabric of the universe. So the discomfort is just a thin layer of the mind, explore the hell out on that level to rearrange things to align with the greater perfection of your nature and biology. Intelligence, the cutting-edge mind... is what matters. Not putting yourself on the edge of a blade, where once you've done something, you'd never be able to take it back... Even after your current mindset has evaporated with the passing of time, and you realize looking back that it was just a phase. You'd be permanently stuck with a body you can't change back. Do your research. Weight the very personal and direct risks.

[@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399]

Living in a society that boxes people into categories creates an opportunity to stand out by treating yourself and others as individuals.

[@DRZPHD]

Exactly!

[@nemonaught2772]

Is it possible for a child to learn to live up to experiences of family, society, etc so much that one might not even notice dysphoria for years until one begins digging deeper and breaking through this "externally oriented" life? I used to be proud of some AGAB features as a child and young teenager because they fit an image that people would praise. Only in my mid-twenties did I start to become more independent in my personality and then I realized how had always socially felt off, and only then did I feel physical dysphoria. So I guess what comes first might also depend on how person can "see/access" themselves?

[@DRZPHD]

Yes this is very possible for sure. One can easily assume their gender assigned at birth is their core identity due to all external positive validation to it.

[@ticketforepic4429]

Ummm.... yup! My egg exploded violently and unexpectedly out of NOWHERE at 42.

[@nemonaught2772]

@@DRZPHD Thank you! Realizing that took me years of questioning because I had to develop my "new" identity alongside the old identity I was living in. It still throws me for a loop sometimes. But I think I've finally got it...

[@nemonaught2772]

@@ticketforepic4429 Good to know. All the best for you! It's scary to change the self image you have had so thoroughly... but on good days it feels better than what I was stuck with before.

[@lockebesse5223]

In my experience, not only is it possible to learn to accept your gender assigned at birth, it is quite common. But it never goes away. Ultimately you will have to face your dysphoria because it is a part of who you are. It will not be denied. I knew I was trans in the mid 60s. It took me almost another 50 years to do something about it. There were certain expectations for my education and career. They became my focus and everything else was pushed deep in the background for a long time. Now I couldn’t be happier to be a postop passable binary woman who looks 25 years younger than her chronological age.

[@IonasalSdorica]

Thanks for covering this! I didn't have physical dysphoria growing up. I didn't even know what gender was growing up, but I had in the back of my mind that this was the card I was dealt with, and that there is nothing I can do about this (well, I did have that underlying feeling of jealousy and envy of girls, but I didn't think too much of this cuz of lack of physical dysphoria). No feeling "good" about being assinged sex (male), but rather feeling resigned about the hand I was dealt with. But once I started exploring my gender and realized I am for sure "not 100% cis", that feeling of discord when being called "he/him" or "sir" flared up. Then eventually that spread like a wildfire into physical dysphoria. The more you realize which physical factors prevent you from passing, the harder physical dysphoria will flare up imo. Then things culminated into getting hormone since February of this year, though I didn't start T-blocker till mid-June. So far, I am liking physical changes (getting a little bit of breast growth, liking the change!). Getting there with voices through therapy too. Was never formally diagnosed with depression or anxiety, have some symptoms of depressions here and there. Was thinking back then if depression was colouring my thoughts. But well I know dysphoria is there because I go "YESSSS" in my head when someone said "thank you ma'am" to me. I haven't quite started wearing gender-affirming clothes yet, but I might after seeing more physical changes, and possibly after getting some fashion lessons from female friends if I can, lol. Going to be had for someone who has given zero damns about what clothes I wear except for comfort, heh. Oh, and almost forgot to add - you talked about people starting with social dysphoria are more likely non-binary. Yes, I am one of those. Non-binary transfem here!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am glad the video is helpful.

[@heuzame6198]

Idk where to put but i think i can leave it here. If you do mind it than im sorry im just overthinking yet again so if you think this is inappropriate to put here please just ignore it. So at first im considering myself as nonbinary transfem (libragender). So basically during my childhood i had no idea of my gender but i always felt (and feel) envy to girls. As well as wishing to be afab all along and other stuff like that but i didnt really thought too much about it. For some years it diminished but then it returned again. I think i do have some types of dsyphoria (voice, facial hair, hair length, name, pronouns) but i only feel a little annoyance to it. So i say to myself that its not enough what leads to me to requestion my identity. But i really am certain that im not a male but rather a female-aligned agender. So i try to proof to myself that i have dysphoria finding some sources which agree to me and some who doesnt. I dont like how masculinity is perceived and i cant identify with it at all which does creates discomfort as im perceived that way but weirdly it creates less discomfort if i am perceives as masculine directly through pronouns and names. However i really dont want to be viewed as masculine but rather as feminine both socially and bodily but there without some feminine part just the overall appearance. I also cant look at pictures of me as i feel like this aint me and feel how other girls (classmates) are more like what i want to look like. With mirrors there only is slight discomfort. Oh and theres worries about hrt and surgery as i dont want them over my worries (internally and externally). Overall not a great place to be regardless of what my gender identity truly is.

[@gabe6990]

Thank you so much for your channel. I'm 41 and only recently realized that I'm trans masc. I haven't started transitioning yet, but I got myself a packer, and just that little detail has made me feel so much more comfortable. Watching your videos has helped make so much more sense of what I'm experiencing. You're performing an amazing service by making this information available to trans people all over the world.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and glad to be of help.

[@marradka2584]

This is amazing! I’m in my 40’s, and I’ve always had a hard time explaining my social dysphoria. I used to say that it felt like being on the wrong team, or like always being left out of things. It got really bad in high school, in the 90’s, but I didn’t know what to do about it for a long time. No one talked about trans people back then. I never hated my body, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear male clothes or act male, so I dressed really casual. I changed just my name, and tried to live as a woman for a while. But my body always got in the way. Eventually, in my 40’s, when my best friend got pregnant, I started taking estrogen so our breasts could change together. We were hoping to lactate together, but it didn’t work out. Anyways, my physical transition started as just for euphoria. I am now trying to figure out how to deal with the way my facial hair and face causes society to constantly misgender me, while I also like my facial hair. I don’t have severe physical dysphoria in the absence of how society reacts to me, but I am very binary. Earlier this year I described myself as a virilized female to my doctor, and she asked “you mean like a trans man?” And I was surprised how close that was to what I meant. Occasionally I get read as AFAB (because both breast and beard) and I get Euphoria when this happens.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@kierandesu2857]

I love this video! Really insightful. Love how you explained the link between physical and social dysphoria. There's actually something I've been meaning to get answers for, and that is, for a transgender person who is still questioning and experimenting, how can they differentiate between social dysphoria and feeling that this gender is wrong for me? In other words, if I (MtF) is hanging out with cis women, and I feel uncomfortable, how can I tell if I'm feeling anxious because of social dysphoria or if I'm feeling anxious because the gender feels wrong for me? Thank you so much for all your videos and words of encouragement, Dr. Z

[@topolatte]

Damn good question, I've been thinking about this too. No idea :/

[@fbabe2820]

Well even if you are MtF u don‘t necessarily need to get along well with women. That just one more gender stereotype we are confronted again. There are so many girls who don‘t get along with girls as well who don‘t wear make up for example. This doesn’t make them less women. Or women who wear jeans and not skirts. This doesn’t make me or you less trans women just because of feeling uncomfortable in front of cis women. I am also MtF and I feel more comfortable in front of boys - of corse as girl. So am I less trans than others? No I am not. I think the best what you can experiment is to see if your gender expression ( feminine clothes, make up , Crossdressing) is really enough for u. Many of the people are fine just when the realize they can be feminine boy. No matter if u hang out with girls or boys. If this change still doesn’t make u happy and u don’t feel congruent enough to yourself its probably something with gender Dysphoria. But noone can say u if U r trans because u don’t like hanging out with boys. Gender Dysphoria is complex and different thing in every person. E.g. in my case it was not enough just to be feminine guy or guy who wears make up and feline clothes. This made me even feel worse because I realised I am just a man with make up. U should be open and try new things out to see what suits to u. If u realise u should start HRT because make up or being feminine guy isn’t enough for u should try it - of course aber some time of psycho therapy . Because how u will feel on HRT is best indicator if u r so to say trans. But noone can predict it. I know ppl who do crossdressing and like being seen as women but they stopped hormones because they didn’t feel well. Just be open and listen to yourself. You are not less women or Man just because u r on hormones or not. Each gender identity is unique and there is no specific pattern how trans girls should look like or if they had to knew they r trans since they were 5 y.o. Give yourself time and explore your gender :)

[@DRZPHD]

@ieran desk one has to always go back to square one when they are looking deep within themselves. Square one is: are you comfortable with your gender assigned at birth? Do not look for social situations as a sole way of understanding. Most telling facts is how you feel when you are alone with yourself. How do you feel about your gender and your body aspects that are gendered.

[@cassiejayson1516]

Hi Dr Z and everyone. For myself I started down this journey a little over 3 years ago and at first I would describe myself as a crossdresser only. I never really hated my male parts and still don't. After going out dressed more and more i now describe myself as gender questioning and only dislike my male parts as below the waist wanting to present myself as more feminine and having real natural breasts sounds appealing to me also. So life goes on....

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing

[@ThePathOfAshes]

Nonbinary 25yo here, I think looking back I did have physical dysphoria around my chest since before puberty (from simply knowing what would happen to me and then later when it was happening to me) but didn't understand it, and it didn't get as bad as it is now a few years ago until I realised that nonbinary was an option, and my social dysphoria is really pointing it out to me whenever I'm read as my AGAB. In some ways I don't have negative or positive feelings about my body other than my chest but I've come to realise I would've prob felt better if I was born the opposite sex, even if that also wouldn't have 100% fit me, it still feels closer than what I am now. Navigating that is a little tricky at times, and sometimes I do get nervous thinking no matter how right my body may feel at some point, that social dysphoria will remain because people will keep boxing me one way or another.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and unfortunately I think social dysphoria will persist for many due to cultural climate. I often suggest solidifying who you are and owning it as much as you can regardless of society which I also know is not an easy task.

[@Nocturius_Fi-Core]

I'm non-binary and basically lived off-grid on a farm since COVID. I wondered why I felt less disphoria and felt a bit of imposter syndrome. I'm glad to know a word to describe my experience. I'm more socially dysphoric than physically. Physically is more fluid for me between nothing and low.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@wigglyduck3690]

Thank you so much for this! It was really timely- I was beginning to have the ‘self doubt’ phase again because I have been feeling hesitant about top surgery. To get top surgery covered by insurance, I need to do it before starting HRT. I was gonna take it slow and decide whether to have a top surgery after doing HRT, so I was wondering if not having a strong discomfort with my chest means I am not trans enough (… then again, I do know I am…). It’s comforting to know it’s not an uncommon thing within my age group. I am most likely transmasc non-binary and will take some more time to ponder what is my best path to take.. I am journaling on this topic tonight! Thanks again!

[@DRZPHD]

Glad you are taking your time too vs rushing in.

[@kathleenwaters3490]

I appreciate your channel so much Dr. Z. Until very recently I had never heard the term gender euphoria. The focus has always been on dysphoria and while I always thought I had an unusually strong feminine side to me I didn't hate being a man. I could not sustain physical relationships with women but I still didn't hate having a pen*s I just hated that I didn't feel that way a typical man supposedly does about sex with women. So I really felt trapped in a no man's land even as more and more people came out saying that having dysphoria wasn't entirely necessary to be transgendered. I just felt like not man enough to be a real man and not trans enough to truly be a woman. And then I heard the term gender euphoria less than two weeks ago and a lot of things started to make sense. In fact, the entire notion of euphoria made so much more sense than dysphoria to me as I thought why should I have to hate who I am in order to love who I could become. Truthfully I hated the notion for the simple reason that just because you dislike one thing doesn't mean you're going to be satisfied with another or the opposite thing. So the idea of feeling calm when thinking about being a woman or feeling joy and anticipation when thinking about dating as a lady versus the anxiety and dread I had trying to date women made me feel so much more validated. In the past I had cross dressed and doing so never sexually aroused me instead it calmed me and made me happy for a time. But I stopped because since I had no hate for the male body I was in I felt I simply could not be transgendered and since I experienced no arousal from dressing then I must not be a transvestite either. So why risk the exposure? But now I know these signs and countless others have been there all my life and they weren't false flags. Instead of never being sure if I was trans enough because I didn't hate who I was I discovered that loving who I could become was just as valid a marker of being truly transgendered, if not more so. I always experienced peace, joy and hope when I aligned the conscious and subconscious concepts of who I really am and now knowing why finally gives me a direction and purpose rather than just existing!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@CodeKoi]

Trans binary here and physical dysphoria was definitely first for me, and yes I also have social dysphoria.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes sadly the two like to tango

[@lindsaybelderson7735]

After GRS and the effects of hormones (mtf) I now feel at peace with how I look, in my own company, even with a neovagina, I look androgynous owing to effects of male puberty, but within myself I like this, problems arise when I go out and about and I worry I'll still be read as a man by some, and still have uncomfortable experiences occasionally because they don't see a typical woman. Voice surgery has helped, but some difficulties persist.

[@astonapplin2564]

Hello Dr. Z! A lot of your videos have been very helpful for me and have helped me answer and settle nagging questions about myself! I would like to ask you about an issue, I am a trans woman pre medical transition and mid social transition, I only realised I was trans a couple years ago, before then it seems I had a lot repressed and had convinced myself with a lot of denial. I’m finding the space of discovering to be very heavy as I feel people’s perception of me even stronger. Not long ago, being misgendered was something I could shrug off, it wasn’t ideal, but I could understand that it happens and let it bounce off. But lately I’ve found that being misgendered is hitting a lot harder and I really wish I could be perceived as my gender. And how I feel the perception of others seems to skew the perception I have of myself. Do you have any advice you can share for why I might be feeling an increase and or what I can do to alleviate the weight? Or how I can help validate myself? What do I do when dysphoria keeps getting stronger?

[@ticketforepic4429]

Yes, this!!!👆

[@jwenting]

I'm in much the same space you are, and social and physical dysphoria seem to feed off of each other more and more. Get rid of most mirrors (do keep the ones you need for your makeup and to check for places you missed shaving though). I've found they provide a shock of dysphoria when I see myself in them. I wear all feminine clothing, but understated stuff so as not to stand out. Black and other muted colours, medium to long skirts and dresses, blouses and tops. And mostly loose garments that obscure my larger male frame to an extent. Shop online for it if you're afraid to go into a women's clothing store and/or your size is such that you can't get clothing locally (as is the case for me). Amazon, Etsy, Zalando (not sure what countries they operate in), and places like that tend to carry more large sizes than your average high street shop. Only disadvantages really are the delay in gratification caused by the shipping times and the occasional disappointment when something doesn't fit right and has to be returned. I still often get identified as male, but I can tell from people taking longer to address me than before that it's getting harder for them to tell, which is good. Maybe when it gets colder and I can wear some makeup to hide my beard shadow (it's simply too warm for that right now, I sweat like a pig) that'll change. Find a local or regional transgender support group. Simply knowing you're not alone and seeing others like yourself helped me a lot already. Of course intellectually you know that you're not alone simply from what you find on the internet, but talking to people like yourself face to face does a lot more. Plus they likely can help you find things locally as well. Places like hair removal clinics. It's all nice to be recommended one in (say) San Diego by a transwoman on youtube but if you live in e.g. Germany that's not very helpful.

[@DRZPHD]

@Aston Apple thank you for sharing. The space of your exploration can be frustrating depending on the following: is passing important to you? If so, that means you identify as trans binary and in that case, when I personally work with trans women for whom passing matters, I slowly, very slowly socially transition them. Meaning, at first it is very gender neutral clothing with envelope being pushed more and more as one starts getting more HRT benefits. This is for two reasons: 1. to get you to feel more confident and assertive so that when misgendering happens, you give less shit about it and 2. to minimize misgendering. I never recommend for a trans woman, especially older, to just social come out fully in her gender as that can be hard and some things that matter to passing still need to be perfected. When passing matters to trans folks and a lot of misgendering happens I say this: how can you perhaps take it as intel that something isn't working. Again, sadly we are getting into stereotypical binaries here, however, such is still reality today and if you identify as a trans binary, that is reality you are also subject too. I hope this was helpful.

[@Shalanaya]

As a child instead of physical dysphoria I had a sense of estrangement and self alienation, and deep knowing that I was a girl, I was really good at disociating from my body as an introvert too, so it was easier to cope. I knew as a child I was not living my life, I was kind of waiting to live my real life, the whole time felt almost like a preparation for something that didnt arrive, constantly waiting for some change. Social dysphoria was the most prominent in childhood, but physical dysphoria was existing underneath because internally I hated the way I looked, I felt I was not man enough to feel comfortable in social circles, only when I was alone in front of a mirror, I knew all this struggle would go away if I just was a woman and that would be it, no more trying to create a mask of a man for others so I could feel comfortable in society, inside I knew if I looked more as a man I'd hate it anyway.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@nickk1406]

Social Dysphoia-always felt my emotions and expressions never matched my gender. Have two genders in mind and one personality.

[@Journey-of-1000-Miles]

Every experience I have ever had, has been filtered through the thought of, “if I was born a woman, how would this be different?” Complicating the issue, is the fact that am attracted to,, and have only dated women,. I also do not hate the genitals I was born with. That fact was so far down on the list of things that give me dysphoria, that it was difficult to see that I am transgender, let alone even exploring that fact. Personally, my dysphoria is mostly about my face, especially my facial hair. I also have dysphoria about not having a figure.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@MidnightEkaki]

Originally for me it was mostly social dysphoria to begin with, though there were some signs of physical as well. But after accepting my identity and thinking about the body I want to have, the physical dysphoria has definitely become more obvious and now I am likely going to go for top surgery when before I wasn't really considering it.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@thorne__]

This is exactly the position i've been in for months - i keep oscillating between taking E and missing my natural testosterone. The divisiveness and polarization in the political sphere put me into panic mode and I had trouble discerning that internally, i was pretty neutral physically speaking. I think a lot of my "dysphoria" have been expectations i've inherited from the trans community, made real by the paranoia of controversy. I genuinely just hate this social system, it causes so much invisible damage to so many people. I hate being gendered male but god damn do I love performing masculinity at times. I hate needing to be queer coded in order to be given "permission" to express emotions. I identify more with energy and fluidity than any sort of fixed concept anyway - which i used to think was some kind of rationalization/dissociation but no, i'm most comfortable working from a place of detachment. I guess categorially that makes me enby, but people just intepret that as like, being a twink 😮‍💨. And like yeah, i am a twink but it depends on the mood. Why everything gotta be so mutually exclusive, why people gotta be so paranoid, why people gotta be so boxed-in 😤

[@DRZPHD]

I agree with everything you are saying and I am sorry about your pain. I can feel it.

[@emilyramsey9079]

Hi Dr Z. Yesterday I took my first big step going out in the world as female. I had my first Laser treatment and my feelings about my look was not very good because I had days of facial hair growth and no makeup but I am proud of my To be blunt hot rocking body I'm so thankful to have and my boobs which is unmistakable female. But I new it was coming when I was walking towards the glass window to the receptionist and had to open my mouth because I sound like a WWE professional wrestler but the first thing she noticed about me was my nails because she looked straight down at them on the counter. Anything to distract from my half grown beard. I actually did rather well and held my head up high until I went to eat afterwards and all was going well I blended in until the moment I had to order and I almost froze and new right then what true dysphoria was. I actually had whisper and point to what I wanted on the menu. It was a very low feeling but the young man came off to me as being gay and treated me so well that it didn't even matter anymore. God bless him. I enjoyed my meal and walked out happy. I had to test myself with if I can go out looking body wise as female with no makeup and 3 days whiskers I'll have the rest whiped. Just wanted to share this with you I would not have been able to do this had I never heard of Dr.Z so thank you and I love you. ❤️

[@DRZPHD]

Hey way to go! Good for you.

[@k.lambda4948]

So, regarding the "desert island" scenario and whether one would feel physical/social dysphoria - it's an interesting question because it changes the question to an extreme degree. As an autistic "grey" aesexual trans person, I feel like I actually live closer to the desert island scenario than most people can imagine. I feel that fundamentally, the "desert island" question stops being one of identity (meaning does the way I see myself match up with the way that others see me) and simply becomes a question of comfort with the unconscious processes of our particular embodiment. Are you grossed out by your period? Is it uncomfortable when you get hard? Is self pleasure difficult? These are the factors of the self relating to the self that give rise to body dysphoria. And since the discussion is about living in social isolation, they're really the only factors that come into play. That said, none of us really live in social isolation. At the least we have been socialized during infancy and childhood, and those experiences leave their own imprint. As I've deconstructed my own dysphoria, I know its primarily social identity, but there is no denying that there are aspects of my physical embodiment which leave me uncomfortable regardless of the social signalling associated with them. But I'm not so sure how I feel about the notion of designing my body as if it were just another outfit, either. But of course, that's an entirely different discussion )

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@mannymoonstone8486]

I'm seemingly an outlier in the statistics. I'm an older AMAB, identify as a binary woman, and definitely started with social dysphoria. So far I know I'm not genderfluid or non binary, I've thought about that for awhile during my transition. And now that I am presenting more feminine I am feeling the pull of body dysphoria as I wonder if that's what I should do next. I am excited for HRT changes but I am also ok with parts of me. So it's been hard to know if it's actually what I want or just a result of being misgendered after coming out. I don't have fear about potentially doing surgical or medical changes though, so that's got to mean something. Thank you as always!

[@DRZPHD]

Figuring out if thats something you yourself want can be the hardest part. Take time, journal, engage in therapy if you can.

[@josephbelisle5792]

Definitely physical. Between the ages of two and three i noticed my family kept dressing me as a boy. At first it wasnt too disturbing until i started dressing myself. I dressed myself as who I was. A girl. I had lots of fights and got beaten to doing it but damn it, i knew I was a girl and they were wrong. Until they forced me to look at my penis to confirm i was male. The universe collapsed. I felt so betrayed by life, the universe and everything. That moment to me was so traumatic that it started a scream of despair in my mind that never stopped. I only just recovered this memory. I have CPTSD. Trauma amnesia. But it lines up with so much in my life and my mind. In my sleep my mind convinces itself I have a female body to feel better. Instead of feeling my penis and testes, i feel a vulva and vagina. For that little time, the dysphoria goes away. Sigh. I dont know why I am like this. I never asked for this. But damn it, cant i be happy with myself sometime in my life. Having trauma from a few weeks old and now that ive gotten much better with my CPTSD, I heal enough to uncover this.

[@Johnny_T779]

Social dysphoria, yup, that was the major probem. Nearly 4 years on T, I now pass and it's enough for me. And also, moobs are a thing, it's relatively common nowadays, even if the dude isn't fat. I have the luck to be tall, so with a goatee and a deep voice I am satisfied. What's under my shirt is nobody's business.

[@kaiwannagoback5712]

Commendable take on it! Esp. if you personally can pull it off. Sadly, those who are blessed with long, swingy, pendulous ones by nature (they're not a result of lack of supportive garments as some ignorantly claim, but of genetics), can't really pass them off as moobs. Glad to hear that's not the case for you, though, and your advice might help a lot of people out there who could do as you do. :)

[@DRZPHD]

Good for you to feel confident about yourself.

[@Johnny_T779]

@@kaiwannagoback5712, I had those, and had a reduction to save my back. But as I lost sensation in one, I decided to bypass further top surgery to salvage the remaining one. Now they are small enough to be easily concealed, and I understand people who want to take it all off... Dysphoria + back pain sucks!

[@kelleroper3490]

You nailed it!

[@youprettywow]

Very interesting video. I feel very atypical in my trans experience. I only have social dysphoria but I am very binary and naturally gender conforming. I am medically transitioning because I need people to automatically see and treat me as a man. And no one will treat me as a man unless I look like a man. I personally can't change all of society and I think it's unfair to ask the marginalized to do so. Do I want major surgery or to take medicine for the rest of my life? No. But I live in the real world where everyone automatically genders everyone by appearance. If I want to be treated as male, society dictates I must physically present as male.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@lkriticos7619]

I'm in my 30s and I'd say I only experience social dysphoria. But I kind of lucked out genetics wise in the sense that fully clothed I can more or less be taken for either gender depending on my presentation. This isn't exactly ideal because, 1) it mostly means being mistaken for a child due to the lack of some secondary characteristics, 2) it's not consistent, 3) while I guess the easiest way to translate what I feel I am would be 'non-binary' I'm definitely further on one side of the spectrum then the other. But it also gives me a lot of leeway in terms of how I'm perceived and how people react to me. To the point where gendering sometimes seems to boil down to where I am and whether the people around me see it as a feminine or masculine space (as opposed to just... a hobby.... that anyone can do.) This has left me with a persistant question though: Would I have physical dysphoria if my body had developed differently? If I looked more stereotypically like my GAB, would I have developed dysphoria? That question bugs me a lot because it's impossible to answer. But it feels like I need an answer to 'justify' my gender identity. I think the big thing that I'm trying to figure out is euphoria rather then dysphoria. I feel pretty neutral about my body. I feel pretty comfortable about what my identity is and the steps I've taken socially. But I don't know how to work out whether I'd feel better with physical changes, like whether it would go from neutral to positive. From 'eh' to 'I love this about myself'. And that's not an easy question to answer. I don't know how you find out without trying.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@lockebesse5223]

It has been a long time, but I just had to comment on this particular video. Being on the front line of the gender wars, a very disturbing trend I have seen of late, mostly from younger trans people, is the concept that dysphoria is not required to be trans. I find this an alarming and ultimately self-defeating attitude to take for those of us who are trying to win respect and legitimacy from society at large. Almost always, the people who take this position say something like, I am fine with my body, but I am still trans and do not have dysphoria. You have verified something that I have been suggesting for some time. To be trans means you must have dysphoria on some level. It doesn’t necessarily need to be physical. It could merely be social. The simple fact of the matter, and the only logical position to take, is that if you feel like you are trans you are in some way dissatisfied with the way society treats you with regard to your gender. It is this dissatisfaction which is the very definition of dysphoria. I am from the school who believes, based upon ever increasing scientific evidence, that there is a biological difference in the brains of trans individuals as compared to cis individuals. Society in general now realizes that gay people are not deranged. Their sexual orientation is fixed in their brain and most would accept that this is not a choice or a matter of conditioning. It is fundamental to their identity. The same is true of trans individuals. The problem with claiming you can be trans without dysphoria is it plays into the bigoted arguments of the gender critical crowd that we are trans as a matter of whim or we are deranged, or confused. This gives legitimacy to those who think the solution is to subject us to conversion therapy. This position is ultimately not helpful. We are all in this together, whether binary or somewhere else on the spectrum of being trans. The fight for acceptance and respect will only be won with cogent arguments and understanding of the phenomenon of being trans. In my opinion it is the science that will drive this ultimate acceptance by society. In the meantime, can we all at least agree that everyone who is trans has dysphoria on some level whether it is physical or social or both? (BTW, I couldn’t be happier being the woman I have finally become. It gets better every day.)

[@DRZPHD]

I totally agree. As a psychologist if you plan on gender affirming surgery because you don't have dysphoria, than thats cosmetic and thats fine. Thus if you are a person with no dysphoria who wants any gender treatment, than its more apt to identify as gender bending or gender non conforming.

[@chronoray8786]

I have gone through the experience of social gender dysphoria in the past, but never any significant degree of physical gender dysphoria. Also, I'm significantly older than just 28 (30, given a compensation for the current time) at this point. I'm 39 right now.

[@giraffewhiskers2045]

For me i would say that most of my life I felt more like someone else and not me, I don’t want to see society think I’m a female, nor a man but if I had to choose either I would most likely pick a male who does feminine things, I have very much gender social dysmorphia but because people can’t respect my pronouns on even TikTok when the video was about being non binary they still call me girly, and my period didn’t help and nor are my boobs

[@M-CH_]

I think it is possible to experience physical dysphoria without developing social one. I believe such is the case with me. I am mostly indifferent, and sometimes even comfortable with functioning within my GAAB, but over the years I've become increasingly uncomfortable with the sex characteristics my body has developed and was cotinuing to develop. Not all of those characteristics, but many. It may be relevant that I am autistic and there is always the barrier of misapprehension between me and the people I interact with; it doesn't change much, if they perceive me as one or another of the genders I don't identify with.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@MyLadyPanda]

I started out with mild/medium physical dysphoria and what really kicked it off was the social dysphoria. I HATE being seen as a woman/female (I don't hate women, I just don't like being seen as one). I don't like female pronouns used on me, they make me uncomfortable. I mean, I've gotten used to it, but I still don't like it.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@SC-jh9qp]

For some reason, over the last month, my dysphoria and my euphoric thoughts have got a lot stronger. All I seem to think of now 24/7 is becoming a woman. I think I need to do something before I go potty.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@gromsword6984]

So I was wondering about the following: If I can´t connect to my gender (Male 25) and have truble expressing myself, but I feel that I could as a female (Tatoos, Pircings, etc.), is that physical or social Dysphoria? Or am I right to assume that it is both? PS: Suffering from gender dysphoria and complex PTSD for the past 5 years.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. Thats hard to say without knowing your history in depth. I would suggest seeking support of a local therapist to help clarify.

[@anneallison6402]

What happens if for example I am AMAB but I've always been interested in trans topics and I always been interested to the idea of having SRS? Does that mean I have physical dysphoria? I also have lots of euphoria when crossdressing

[@DRZPHD]

I'd suggest exploring this more with a therapist in your area.

[@elsiemaep20]

I'm binary, 35, and my dysphoria was primarily physical. Social came along too, but it was mostly about how others were perceiving my body. Though I didn't crack until 32, the dysphoria goes all the way back. Some of my earliest memories were about genital dysphoria. In HS I wanted estrogen and didn't know why. I was consciously aware of wanting all the female sex characteristics for decades before I finally accepted who I am. One question for you: what do you think about the term psychological sex? For me, my connection to being female is much stronger than my connection to womanhood. I really wish I had a term to describe this cross-sex identification that's not considered a slur. In my view, a person's psychological sex alignment is just as much a part of their identity as their gender.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Do you mean psychological sex as in being more connected to sexual variance due to chromosomes.? If so, yes it def is present.

[@elsiemaep20]

@@DRZPHD Psychological sex is a term introduced (as far as I know) by Julia Serano in "Whipping Girl". It refers to the sex characteristics your brain expects its body to have. It manifests as either physical dysphoria or congruence depending on how well aligned the brain and body are.

[@AspenSenaSenaAspen]

It’s hard I don’t want to wake up some days because I don’t have surgery I’m so upset

[@DRZPHD]

So sorry to hear of your struggles and I hope you can reach out to local and online support.

[@toddandrews9829]

At my age I've raised a daughter and a step daughter as well as a granddaughter till age 10 1/2 before divorce. Always wonder what I could have changed or done better but they've all turned out OK. But at this point in my life I want piece of mind and to feel like me. Just not sure how they and everyone else will react to it.

[@DRZPHD]

I hear such fearful thoughts often. All you can do is trust they will handle their own feelings.

[@mikethegoo]

I don't know anymore where it started and I have a hard time knowing which is which, I think... Or which came from where

[@DRZPHD]

Best to seek a support of a local therapist to help figure things out.

[@salemsaberhagen3238]

Okay, now I am seen. It’s weird having social Dysphoria because I do identify with the “trans” experience. However, I live in a conservative place and I will never be seen as non-binary. I will always be gendered and it seems like surgery is the furthest thing from my mind. I have been trying to figure it Pitt myself. I have a therapist but I don’t have access to any gender expert. I keep trying to think out side of the box on my presentation and my relationship to my self.

[@DRZPHD]

It can be toughest for non binary folks and I am sorry you are struggling with this.

[@salemsaberhagen3238]

@@DRZPHD I am just happy I found your channel, honestly. I didn’t know I was even non-binary and now I have been feeling a lot better settling into myself. This video specifically hit my weird dysphoria niche.

[@bhaskarbabrekar5770]

Beautiful

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you

[@andone9561]

Younger? I’m 44 and just now finally able to go through with my non-binary HRT

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@jen8441]

Totally sharing this on our server, this answers so many disagreements we have had here and there. Thank you Dr Z💜

[@DRZPHD]

Wow I didn't even realize there were disagreements but I can also see them now. In my opinion, gender transition is there to alleviate dysphoria of any kind. If one does not have dysphoria but still wants some of the gender affirming procedures, than thats more in line with either body dysmorphia or just reaching gender non congruent or gender bending expression one is after, however it is less of a medical necessity and more cosmetic at that point which is OK we just can't cluster all people under transgender umbrella as it invalidate and takes away medical access from those who suffer dysphoria.

[@FOJO27]

💙💙💙💙💙

[@sofiasofalina6196]

My first time with makeup and dressed up i was 7 years old. I dont know that i think i was the opposite gender that was me i remeber i want have girly shoes when i was young yeah now and i have so much hight heels shoes and boots i dont think very much over the sosial maybe i is just me 50 years old much easyer when i was young will i say i take many holes in my ears painting my finger nailes black . Most tired of a life that have gone so bad the wrong way i living this life jet and will this day to day take surgery from man to femal that is my right me i know. Just a old lady now that struggling .

[@DRZPHD]

Thank for sharing.

[@stevensvideosonyoutube]

I thought your video was very contemporary.