Trans Women Identity Beyond Gender Stereotypes!

[@alisabristleface]

Before I realised I was transfeminine, I told myself I was a man in my own way. Because I have so many qualities, likes and dislikes that really don't fit the male stereotype/societal expectations of what it is to be a man -this allowed me to express all these feminine aspects of myself and I took pride in being different. But, I was still living as a construct out of touch with who I actually am and when I realised I was transfemminine the utter misery and meaninglessness melted away and I felt happy and real. For me being a woman is a deep inner feeling and knowledge that suffuses everything about me -and it seems the way forward now for me is to continue expressing my lovely qualities and also to transition slowly in presenting as a woman in more and more ways. Finding my style -I love earrings and painted toes but don't feel I want lipstick or make up. But I like dresses, pretty tops, tights/leggings. I'm a nature loving, warm, kind and gentle empathic lady in her sixties -this is me.

[@brianr6704]

Again you read my mind. Today a photo of me from ten years ago (before I transitioned)came up on Facebook. One of my coworkers saw it and commented on how handsome I was back then. As an older trans woman I always knew that I was giving up being a handsome older man to become an old woman. This fact caused me to have a lot of doubts if transitioning was the right decision. Now three years after starting HRT and a year after top and bottom surgery I’ve never been happier. As I grow into my womanhood I care less and less if I fit society’s ideal of a “real”woman.

[@kentalwinweaver]

I never met societal expectations of being male. My childhood community dis'd me as male. My genetic heritage did not provide me an athletic physic. I accept this now. I do not disparage my parents. I reject the norms of male at birth and enjoy the feminine and wear the feminine on my outside.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i'm so proud of you. you deserve every feminine beauty and grace. keep lookig beautiful. never change. never stop being a queen. would you like being called feminine name like nathasha ?

[@brianr6704]

@ thank you last year I legally changed my name from Brian John to Brianna Joan.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

@@brianr6704 so proud of you for being as feminine as possible. you deserve to wear all female outfits you can get. do you understand ?

[@RebeccaGarland-e4t]

There are some women in my life who support my transition, but so often when I say I want to explore a certain look they tell me that most women do it this way now. I was a child in the 60s and have always known that my style is boho, almost a hippie look. I love to grow plants, decorate using flea market and antiques stuff, and wear long flowery dresses. This is just me.

[@deathguitarist12]

I'm much younger than you but have fallen into the same style. I love it.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds so hot. i like to support you and have fun with you and be as feminine as possible. i love your feminine name rebecca. you are a goddess.

[@AdventureCPT]

Very helpful and insightful. Finding the real and unique you is so hard to do, especially when bombarded with societal expectations. I think there is a certain amount of these expectations that affect everyone, but especially our community. Thank you, Dr. Z!

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

sometimes when you find yourself, people don't know that they have no right to tell you not to be yourself. yoy deserve the best feminine name in the world like liquorose.

[@RikkiMGuffen]

Something important for me was realizing that I was not a boy/man "turning into" a woman. I was born a girl, a girl who was misplaced into the body of a boy. Everyone around me told me I was a boy, and I didn't know any better at the time. I grew up being aware of Wendy Carlos and Dr. Renee Richards, but I had no idea that I could be trans as well. I went along for years thinking that I was just not very good at being a man. I could perform Man, having spent many years playing the role, but I never felt like Man was who I was.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that's really understandable. it's okie to be a woman being feminine and getting all the nice stuffs you'll always see women wear. never stop being beautiful and never stop being feminine. would you like to be called feminine names like olivia.

[@tm33398]

Thank you Dr Z for your views about what a woman is and reminding me of what it is to live as a woman. Even though i had the surgery on Dec 12th I still am transitioning into who I desired to be.

[@robynrox]

For myself, pre-transition I went through a more masculine phase, and when I started transition I went through a more feminine phase, and neither suited me. The more masculine phase lasted years and the more feminine phase lasted months. I think I've settled where I want to be now, and as women go, I'm definitely more on the masculine side, but not completely. I only wear makeup and make an effort to "look nice" if I'm performing on stage, going to a special occasion or something like that (I'm not talking drag makeup here - far more subtle, and typically just BB cream, lippy and mascara; I'm an amateur singer) and yet I do enjoy those occasions. I actually said at the start of transition that "it's not about being a woman, it's about being me." For me, it's probably because I feel like I'm right on the edge between being a woman and a non-binary person. At least there was enough dysphoria within me to know I made the right decision to transition, and it's surprising how little I have really changed.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds so sweet. nothing beats being as feminine as possibel. you deserve to be happy. you deserve to be as feminine by wearing feminine outfits, to making lots of remarks you'll hear women make. would you like feminine name like mandy ?

[@kayodekeegan9683]

Thank you once again, Dr. Z!❤ It is now coming to 5 years since I decided to start my transition. I'm still yet to start on HRT, but I have fully socially transitioned now, including at work. I do want to start on HRT this year, but all this while, I have been defining myself as the woman that I am and the woman I am now fully growing to be. There are times when I look at myself in the mirror and I still hate the reflection I see but I know these physical things relating to my male body do not define my gender. They never had, so why should I let it get me down so much!.... Watching this video and listening to the words you said, sort of affirmed that, I so far, have been on the right path and that I have been correct all along not to let the society tell me who I am. Thank you so much 😘🫶🏽😘

[@AntonyWhite-h5v]

15:23 GMT Thank you. I'm only just starting transition at 59. I just need to be comfortable with my appearance. I hate my face, but wish embrace my femininity to be happy. I doubt I'm expressing myself well. I want to be the woman I am and to be accepted as such.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds amazing. ou should keep being the best woman you can be. life is good when people can learn how to be as feminine as possible. what are you wearing now? do you like frilly dresses ? do you like petticoats? where in the world will you be if not earth if you're a woman. would you like being called feminine names like Jennifer ?

[@Genevieve111]

Woooowwww... powerful words... will have to watch this video a few times...

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds really good. that's so lovely. i watched this video more than once. i love it. cherish it alot. wow genevieve. nice name. very nice name. let's make some history being the best females in the world

[@Ginaviz]

Always appreciate your perspective. Thank-you.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

much seen gina.

[@silkcherry1413]

As usual DR Z. a very on point topic. When look we past societal constructs and really get down to the real question. Who are we really? It is a constant challenge to define who we are and how to make that definition for us work in our daily lives. I for one being in touch with my feminine side and to like express it any chance I get. Welcome the challenge of evolving my persona into the new me. A feminine badass, who likes show that being a woman comes in all shape, sizes, colors and personas. Thank you for giving the outlet to express how we feel. My favorite yoga teacher Lilias Folan told me a saying that resonances with me to this day. "Know thy self and yea shall know the mystery."

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

true. know thyself, and you shall know the mystery. that's a very strong word to always take note of. the world is beautiful when you have people looking as beautiful as possible and dressing as pretty as possible.

[@miaththered]

Thanks for your thoughts doc.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

she's an angel. the world is proud of you. keep being who you should be. keep being the female that you should be.

[@PngPg]

so important; i made a note to dig into this with people i love. i am active, i am introspective. i find joy in music and reading, and i'm so proud of the work i've done to uncover who i am, and i am excited to continue to be involved with who i grow to be in the future. self care took a lot of work to feel deserving of, and i'm grateful to have found the courage to try different ways of expressing myself. the dysphoria around my body continues to shift, and my gosh this takes practice! in 2025 (and in 2026! lol) i am looking forward to continuing to experience these new, truthful ways of being and sharing myself. i am looking forward to work on seeing myself more clearly every day, and i am also looking forward to seeing you, my sisters and siblings that find this path as beautiful. xoxo

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i can't wait to see you looking as beautiful as possible. as the year keeps going, we keep getting more beautiful as women. i can't wait ro look more beautiful as the year keeps going

[@jimjones7912]

Im am in a "Masculine " occupation, but im 9 months on HRT, i wear a bra (36C) under T shirts and hoodies. I walk Fem, my nails are pink, my hair is longer, but not really fem. Since i am 80, i feel i am doing the best i can! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

[@QuinnOsgood-c9v]

I also do a typically masculine job, landscape construction/equipment operator. And while I may not be a stereotypical woman I am very much a woman 💜🏳️‍⚧️💜

[@tandava-089]

I appreciate your content. I realize there is a larger cultural shift going on at the moment and people are all re-adjusting. Theres a lot of tension under the surface and while I hope we find ways to dissipate and resolve that without horrible conflict, the collective characterization and communal understanding often goes through wild and reckless shifts and over corrections. I believe youve been providing the insights you have from a well intentioned and honest place. I believe this because of the way you say the things you say and the organic conversational approach which is very revealing. As things shift, dont let people mischaracterize you(or take them doing so so seriously) that secondarily and tertiarily it changes you into anything worse or that you werent and arent I appreciate your efforts and your transparency. I think your honest approach does a lot of good for a lot of people, myself included

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

great work there. i'm proud. keep being as feminine as you can. do you like rubbing female products on your body ?

[@petermaurer2426]

This is a great video. It took me a long time to discover my true self. But in some respects I’m quite different from a typical woman. That doesn’t bother me. I know who I am.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that's just how it should be. always be proud of who you are and never sstop being the best girly girl to ever do it. always wear nice dresses and nice shoes and nice hairdo. would you like to be called feminine names like sandy ?

[@Timid-tg]

How I define my womanhood is from my life experiences growing up. I spent most of my childhood helping my mother around the house. I had Asthma so I was not aloud to over exert myself. I knew from the age of 5 I was a girl. Learning to help my mother in the kitchen and how to set a table and wash dishes, clean floors do laundry iorn, clean bathrooms, making the beds all seamed normal to me. Being a housewife for me is true Womenhood! Barbra

[@BridgetMinton]

For me the feminine side that I present is a reflection of the area in which I live and shop, the community expectations of what is female and the style of dress and presentation of genetic girls.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds beautiful. girls never stop being feminine. they always want to be the best dresses because they look adorbale. in life, what matters is constant improvement. it's constant improvement of the body and the mind.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

how feminine are you when you drink and eat while dressed in feminine clothes. the best thing to do in life is to always make every look beautiful. it's to always be the best you can be at everything. never forget to always dress in stockings and underwear and shopping for lingerie to wearing platform heels. i can't wait to finally be able to love seeing women being more populated than men.

[@Lenny-Cech]

Thank You. This video realy helped me on my way to authentic myself. It shows that more than expected from the others is important our inner feelings of happines and authenticity. Now I need only to find the way the people around me recognized and accepted my authentic self, and if possible gave me the positive feedback. Thank You for Your vise advice and wish much health and happines in this year 2025 (and 2026 too ideed) 🙂

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you said it right lenny. you have to always be yourself always do you understand. never stop being yourself. never stop being feminine.

[@oneilswanson7116]

Hi, as a woman of transidentified experience, I am guilty of clinging to societal norms as it relates to womanhood, and holding om to those norms has been a source of a great deal of frustration and anxiety. Thanks Dr. Z for pointing out that each woman should seek to embrace her uniqueness as a woman. Truly, no person or institution can define what it means for me to be a woman....one size will not fit all women. I am grateful for your insight Dr. Z Fondly, Mariah D.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i m excited to see more comments from you because I really enjoyed watching this video so much

[@BobbiJean655]

I spent the better part of five decades trying to be someone I am not. I certainly don't want to now start trying to be someone else. I'm just me.

[@QuinnOsgood-c9v]

Same sis, same 💜🏳️‍⚧️💜

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

never stop being you. keep being you. keep dressing in tight leggings and latex dresses especially.

[@randytighe7150]

I love this😀

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

beautiful as it is. life is truly beautiful being feminine, dressing up good, and loving life as a woman. would you like being called feminine names like stephanie ?

[@christianmariaprinz8749]

Hello Dr Z. First of all I also want to wish you a wonderful new year, wether it’s 2025 or 2026😉! I guess this video was one of the best if not the best you ever did. Why? Well, I never could feel you so personal, so intimate and so authentic. It is not the content itself, which is by no doubt interesting, it is the way you are talking and presenting that, yeah, message. Isn’t it a very meaningful, important thing for everyone’s live to keep aligned with the SELF, the implicit order, or blueprint, as you named it? Isn’t all that struggling coming from not living our internal layout, not gathering, holding and conserving our own power but paying all the others with it for telling us how we may become „right“ to be an valuable member of humanity or society? Aren’t we watching out so many years of our live to find the leading measurement to get an orientation who we should become? Instead of finding and use our implicit inner lighthouse to guide us to bloom with our talents and gifts regardless what others want us to be. From my point of the journey as a person with a transbiography I actually found myself to be a conscious being among others with a specific SELF-experience and therefore a corresponding SELF-expression. I mean, I’ve made even one step further, and realized, that, although I experience and understanding myself as feminine and living that way, categorizing (and therefor identifying) myself as man or woman or whatever, isn’t the bottom line of a meaningful existence. At the end it shouldn’t matter, because it doesn’t matter in most cases. At the bottom line and foremost we (should) connect to each other as humans. Because this is what really counts and creates meaning. So this might be another meaning of trans.identity. The transcendence of the illusion of identity as such. Yours by heart - Maria #dieLEBENSDenkerin

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

so sweet and amazing to read. it's a great read. would you like to be called feminine name like diana ?

[@ava.joan93]

Hi Dr. Z! In my search for my complete identity, I look to the past: 100 years ago and 2000 years ago. I am fascinated with ancient lesbian and trans femme societies, like the Enari and the Amazons. I want to read all we have that remains from the Poet Sappho. I think I am like many women today who are looking for a definition of femininity that centers women as the focus in all of our multifaceted glory!

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

true, i understand you. you make a great point. being a woman is all about what one loves to wear, how one walks, you know what i mean ?

[@MrSiddartha1]

I really needed to see this video, thank you for waking me up! ❤️

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

its a beautiful watch and i'm just glad i watched it.

[@Jocelyn_Jade]

2026! That made me laugh and also baffled me. Felt like Freudian slip!

[@charlesjamison3407]

I love your Show! I am a 78 year old crossdressers and I love every second of dressing in dress and lingerie!

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

sweet. dressing up in dress and lingerie feels so good i tell you, even from a woman. i gurantee you that.

[@robindz8502]

Dear Dr Z. Happy 2026. How I define myself is not easy, I like what I see in the mirror, I have been transitioning for too long, baby steps, in a very long and no so pretty way, for the most part, I have become what I wanted as a crossdresser, but not what I would like to be. I have accomplished a lot, given all the resistance I found throughout my journey, since as far as I can remember I always knew what I was in my heart. Hormones were a necessity, the next step amongst many others. But how would I define myself? I have no idea. Early age conditioning, a narrow minded family, and a horrible society have conditioned me to feel wrong about who I am, along an internal and ironic transphobia that have left me in a limbo of identity. Happy New Year Robin

[@PandaPerson_2024]

Hello Dr Z, this is not relevant to this specific video but I am curious what your opinion is as a clinical psychologist regarding Lacanian or Jungian psychoanalysis

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i can't wait to hear what the doctor says

[@T_SoulRebel]

❤❤❤

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i love that video so much

[@adamcarfield7201]

You just described me to a T

[@fauxPainting]

This is a good one, Thank You. Savannah