During A Family Holiday My Boyfriends Mom Wanted To Sleep In Our Bed r/Relationships

[@EmmileneRosalina]

Honestly if story 1 mom climbs into my bed with my boyfriend, I’m climbing in after and turning up the creep factor. I’m spooning her, I’m rubbing her back, I’m saying “Don’t worry, you’re safe now, the ghosts aren’t going to get you.” Just trying to be part of the family, after all! And if she has a problem with it, well, what DID she want, exactly?

[@EmmileneRosalina]

@@LostSoulchild89 For bonus points, you can imply that you KNOW she’s sneaking in here to spend time w/ you because she’s jealous of her son… shhhhh don’t say anything, I understand…

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@EmmileneRosalina LMAO! That's exactly what I said in reply to someone else's comment. She missed the perfect chance to be the Preying Mantis!

[@johngoff182]

Nah just try to blow the son and I guarantee you he will be traumatized

[@bonnielee78]

yep, i'd add that I sleep naked so would take off my robe and jump in bed😁. i'd probably do a whole 'dutch oven' bit too lol

[@bonnielee78]

just thought of another good one. shrieking 'ohhh, mother and son sandwich ...i'm in the middle' as you jump in bed all excited like 🤣 could you imagine the look on both bf and his mother haha

[@aceanarchy5554]

Paul: I recognize my mom's behavior is bad and I'm learning to set boudaries! Also Paul: My mom kicking my girlfriend out of our bed to sleep with me is perfectly fine and I see no problem with this :D

[@damien678]

if that aint the top of the boundary list...

[@johnpexton9208]

Paul will never have a serious relationship if he lets his mom do whatever she wants with him

[@iasomnium919]

On top of all that... HE'S 27!! He's almost 30!!! WTF

[@AnonymousBelle562]

Unfortunately this reminds me of my ex-fiancé, and he was in his 40’s. Allowed his mom to pop into the bedroom too, and his exact words to me were “You’re being ridiculous by being upset over nothing, she’s my mom. Go get yourself some help, because you seriously need it!” I learned guys like this, are too stupid to understand what the problem is.

[@ACCER]

I find it really funny that the guy in the pre-nup story is 27 and so is the guy letting his mother sleep with him.......maybe the male brain doesn't fully mature until a bit later than we thought????

[@bermudabeachbum3582]

Story 1: I think Paul is going to realize that he has mommy issues when OP tells their friends why they broke up (and why wouldn’t she?) The imagination boggles at what his male friends alone say to him about it. I can’t imagine too many women will want to date him either. He is either going to have to go live with Mommy full time or move far far away.

[@Wander85942]

I don’t think he’s going to realize it until he’s preserving her body in the fruit cellar and dressing in her clothes. *Norman Bates*

[@robertx8020]

Well OP is much better of now and mommy can sleep with her baby and , who knows?, even one day have sex with him too and have kids together? Nothing wrong woth that, right? /s

[@WhitneyDahlin]

She should have taken pics of him in bed with mommy or heck even livestreamed it and asked the followers what they think about it

[@mikaq19]

Story 1 was ridiculous. While nothing that bad happened to me, I once had my boyfriend’s mother insist on taking our master bedroom when we had a perfectly comfortable guest room. I sad no, not happening and bf agreed with me. She tried claiming we were not good hosts. I told her the guest room is for guests, and she didn’t need to take out room unless she was hoping to soak up all that hot gay orgasmic energy in our bed. (We’re both guys). And also we weren’t changing the sheets and wouldn’t be responsible for any lubricant or protein stains she might notice. She got a sour look on her face. My bf laughed his ass off. Ever since then when she visits, she books a hotel.

[@gManGabe]

lol Big Gay Energy™ counters boomer entitlement, good to know.

[@AnthonyAnthemKC]

Can I just say your husband must have been just freaking proud I would have totally made you guys my friends because that's fucking hilarious 😂😂😂

[@ebrown7338]

LOL!!!!!!!!! For some reason I was reading your comment aloud and when I got to "soak up all the hot gay orgas..." HOLLERED!!!! HAHA!!! Then I really lost it with your last sentence!!! For s*its and giggles, what was your take on the last story (hon, can you make my lunch? I'm running late!) I was so frustrated on behalf of OP. I thought his wife was painfully immature. What was your opinion? Thanks for the LOL!

[@angelaj3965]

This here is how it's done! Lmao

[@faeriefire78]

Gross, hilarious, and highly effective! I'd feel embarrassed on her behalf, but you kind of bring it on yourself when you make ridiculous demands of people. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You're not bad hosts, she's a bad guest.

[@danger0Robertson]

Announcing a new pregnancy at someone else's babyshower is tacky as hell. I would have flipped the cake onto her clothes.

[@danger0Robertson]

Also I was doing my fingernails while listening to this.

[@photofreak56]

At the college I work at I spent 2 weeks sending the same email over and over again to the people graduating basically it said "Congrats grads just a reminder NO YOU CAN NOT MID GRADUATION PREPOSE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. PLEASE STOP EMAILING THE GRAPHIC DESIGN TEAM TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR PREPOSAL! PLEASE WAIT TILL AFTER THE EVENT ONLY TAKES AN HOUR!" yes in all caps like that because it was just not sinking in.

[@bun04y]

The petty in me says: I would grab Aunt & Cousin's hands and march them into the middle of the party and raise their hands into the air and announce "Aunt & Cousin want to announce during MY BABY SHOWER that Cousin has an announcement and she's too cheep to pay for her own party!"

[@princesspanda12012]

​@@danger0Robertson Vile behavior from them, screw that family

[@ZoeAlleyne]

If I was her family I would have gone rabid. My cousin wore a white dress to my wedding and my other cousin (her own sister) went to a nearby fish market and put a fish head in her car.

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

Story 4 - When my husband has overslept or just needed my help getting out the door, I just help him. He does the same for me. Doesn't have to ask either. We are grateful for one another's help. Trust me it works. 33 years and counting.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

You wanna know something stupid? What's the difference between a kids lunch & a husbands 'gtfo late to work lunch'? You put more time into the kids. (Because you have more time)

[@RomeGod177]

Agree. Thank you for this comment, I say op needs to look through his wife's phone. What could be more important than helping her husband 🤔. Red flag

[@Parasolhyena]

​@@RomeGod177 Eh, I sorta just think there are no assholes, it would be easy for her to do yes but at the same time she only has one thing she won't do and it's a really easy to either throw the stuff in yourself or heck even skip lunch that day. I just don't think i'd ask someone who made it clear that that's there one and only pet peeve to do it even if I was running late. I don't think it's worth the fight when it's such an easy thing even when your running late it'll take what? 30 seconds? There realtionship other then this one fight is good according to op's other comments. Also don't think she's throwing any red flags, plenty of people use there phones to read, play games or watch videos. While I think it's petty on both ends, I can understand why the husband would be upset but It's the only line she doesn't want to cross for whatever reason and I can kinda understand that too, sure it may seem trivial to you and me but it clearly isn't for her.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

@@Parasolhyena That's kinda where you are wrong. She's not exactly 'wrong' for not helping, but she certainly is being an AH about it. It's not just 'helping someone' it's helping your SO, the one you married, get out the door quicker because shit hit the fan & they need help. What if they don't have spending money for just picking up food on the way/at work? That's the thing though.. .your argument of == it's such an easy thing even when your running late it'll take what? 30 seconds? == can easily be flipped on it's head, It's just 30 seconds, and you couldn't be bothered to help out your own SO? You'd be the AH for this move, no matter who it was.. Imagine your mother coming over, and ending up running late as hell for some abscure reason, and they asked you for something to eat on the go, and you said make it yourself, from the fridge? Imagine doing this to your sibling, or child. --- running late, and at your place, and you tell them to get the left overs themselves, as you won't serve them shit. Like.... You tell me... The part worth fighting for is this. She's either lied her ass off, and is super traumatized about 'serving a lunch', or she couldn't even spend a literal minute helping her SO get out the door quicker. Imagine, telling your SO, Mother, Sibling, Friend.. to Fuck off that you won't make them a batch of coffee as they rush to get ready and be out the door faster.

[@Parasolhyena]

@@DePhoegonIsle I mean that's easy, you actually have to provide for one of those people. Seriously though, it seems like something she just doesn't want to do and this is her hill to die on.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 3: even if the shower wasn't for a rainbow baby you wouldn't have been wrong; the aunt and cousin are even more horrible for trying to hyjack such a long-awaited baby shower.

[@robertx8020]

I would go lc with every familymember that sided with those AHs! fff nazis!

[@Rhysdux]

What's a rainbow baby?

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

@@Rhysdux A baby born to parents after they suffered one or more miscarriages. Often they are considered miracle babies because the odds of carrying to term after losses decrease; the more losses the less likely you are to have a successful pregnancy.

[@Rhysdux]

@@RockinTheBassGuitar Thank you for explaining! I never heard the term before today.

[@ElleD308]

I hate the term rainbow baby. Makes the kids entitled AF, the moms turn ridiculously annoying and everyone acts as if that child is the second coming of Jesus. This OP even said rainbow baby like 20 times as if that's the reason why no one should've hijacked the shower when in reality no baby shower should be.

[@slipton9797]

My favorite story like this was one where the poster’s fiancé invited his mom on their romantic vacation because he knew mom would pay and mom got a suite for the 3 of them and basically ran the vacation. The poster bailed a few days in when she couldn’t even get a dinner alone with her fiancé. She went to another resort to enjoy her vacation while her fiancé and his mom kept calling and saying she was being “silly” and “ridiculous” and “rude” for leaving.

[@SailorMya]

Bet she had a nice holiday and the guy got his mom! lol

[@lancerevell5979]

Mom was the hugely rude one! No sane parent invades a young couple's bed! As the youngsters today say....." cringe!" OP needs to bail on this relationship, or she'll always be second seat to Mommy. 🙄

[@slipton9797]

@@SailorMya according to the updates, she had a lovely holiday and her sister and best friend flew in and hung out with her for the rest of her vacation. And then when she got home, she kicked him out of the house and sent him home to mommy.

[@SailorMya]

@@slipton9797 Thanks for the update! I was right he does get just his mommy! lol

[@s.d.berard7518]

@@lancerevell5979 SWEET! Thank you so much for the update!! RLOL! 😹😹 Mommas boy is going to never have a solid relationship!😹😹

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 4 - refusing to make your SO a simple lunch of a PB&J is not a boundry, it's being an asshole. Marriage is about supporting each other, and sometimes even doing something you don't necessarily want to do. Time for the husband to start making new boundaries of his own.

[@princesspanda12012]

NTA, next time the wife needs help with something I hope OP says NO

[@ExTYesman]

That last story rubbed me the wrong way, op wasn’t repeatedly waking up late watching shows. Marriage is a partnership and asking her to make him a lunch isn’t unreasonable even knowing her boundaries. It’s not going to hurt her to help him out just this once with a packed lunch.

[@deborahyoung1873]

I would tell her, here's my boundery. I refuse to be with someone who only works part time. You need to contribute more or get the hell out.

[@wessexdruid7598]

It's not ordering her - it's shouting for help. And her response was to refuse. I bet she wouldn't like it if the tables were turned.

[@ula437]

And the fact that it bothered her was because her father didn't thank her mother for packing his lunch is somewhat ridiculous in my opinion

[@shells500tutubo]

How much do you want to bet that she told him the night before he needed to get to bed or he was going to wake up late? There is a little more to this story.

[@robertbishop5158]

This was so stupid of the wife Because we all know things always come around to bite you in the ass

[@GiordanDiodato]

story 1 reminds me of a r/justnomil story about a woman going through a miscarriage and her husband left her to be with his mom because SHE was emotionally triggered by the miscarriage. The Oedipus complex strikes again.

[@champslim]

I was sooo happy she divorced him.

[@bonnielee78]

that one angered me to no end; they wouldn't call an ambulance (if i remember correctly). didn't he also tell her to clean up her blood etc🤬

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@bonnielee78 I don't think he made her, but he did comment about the blood

[@AuntLoopy123]

OMG! I remember that one. "Yes, dear, I know you're suffering a loss, as well as actual physical distress, but my Mommy has a sad! I HAVE to go stay with her and comfort her. You'll be OK dealing with the grief of losing your baby, and the physical trauma of excreting your baby, all by yourself. It's not like you need anyone to HELP you, as you basically give birth to a very small baby, who's not breathing. You don't need comfort or support, while you mourn, and you certainly don't need any medical support, while you bleed your guts out, and possibly leave a part of the placenta in, and maybe need to go to the hospital for assistance. Naaaaw. You'll be FINE! But MY MOMMY HAS A SAAAAAD!"

[@Azulakayes]

Story 3: I feel so bad for OP. Why would someone do that to a family member who is having a rainbow baby? The lack of compassion by the aunt and cousin for OP is really disheartening. You don't steal someone's thunder and more over, a person who has experienced so much loss!

[@gaxalee7392]

I saw someone in the comment section with a “we get it” attitude about Op saying “rainbow baby” over and over. Like...yeah? Who wouldn’t go a little overboard after trying and suffering over and over again? Op deserves so much better.

[@xxbuddybluexx9246]

I've heard the term rainbow baby before but can't remember what it means exactly?

[@gaxalee7392]

@@xxbuddybluexx9246 It’s what they call “miracle” babies when a woman has a severe history of infertility and miscarriage.

[@xxbuddybluexx9246]

@@gaxalee7392 I figured that's what it was. My brain came up with like three different meanings for the term at first lol

[@Ambidexter143]

@@gaxalee7392 You mean it's not an LGBTQ+ baby? That or thurnderstroms are what rainbow means to me.

[@moonlightwolf]

Story 1: Freud would have a field day with the bf

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 3: 😩 when will people learn? Engagement parties, bachelor/ette parties, birthday parties, graduations, baby showers, rehearsal dinners, weddings, etc. basically any sort of life event hosting, you DO NOT HIJACK them! You have no money to throw a party yourself or find it convenient that everyone is there anyway? Well, suck it! Find another way to announce your life events. And to what OP said about you hear about these things and then never expect it to happen to you: if working a service industry job has taught me anything, then it's that people are entitled, self-absorbed and lack common sense at a mind-boggling rate! The whole expect the unexpected thing is 100% correct. This made me think of earlier when I picked up my meds (which always have to be ordered because they have short shelf life and I have an uncommon combo) and my pharmacist was super surprised about how chill I'm about having to always come back for them or to have to call ahead (I live in Germany and especially in big cities there's pharmacies in walking distance usually since meds are so highly regulated we don't even sell 400mg ibuprofen at the supermarket like in other countries I've been to). He told me how some customers would totally loose their shit in my shoes and I just told him about having worked part-time in a supermarket and we commiserated about how egotistical and self-important some customers are and how we hoped more people would use common sense 😅 So, please be nice to the people that serve you, where humans with feelings, too.

[@pansprayers]

My MIL asked to sleep in the same bed with us, ONCE. Hubs said 'sure', and I wasn't even mad. It lasted 30 minutes, and the first time I think she's ever been kicked in the kidney, and shoved off the bed by a sleeping person. I'm a combative AF sleeper (he'd told her that for years) when it's anyone but him, and we both knew the only boundaries she respects are ones that physically impact her, one way or another. The woman hasn't ever asked to join us on vacation again.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Haha…I just suggested this in a comment! Mom gave her 2 choices…sleep there or in her room. Ok, I would have dived in between them, so I was in the middle and act like I was asleep then proceed to thrash and kick, kicking her right off the side of the bed. Just being between them would be enough to drive her nuts, but that’s not good enough. I bet she went back to her room after OP left 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[@crazycatlady1425]

😂

[@s.d.berard7518]

😹😹😹 That’s the best!! 😹😹💚😺

[@raz7573]

If this ever happens to me, I’ll quickly become a restless sleeper, snorer and sleep talker.

[@TallLady123]

As an adult I could never understand wanting to just INVADE your adult children's marital bedroom and sleep in their marital bed with them in there. Like 3 people in one bed?? Isn't that uncomfortable? Why not have your own bed??

[@epicXtrollface]

Story 4's reactions.. what?? I get not wanting to pack your husband's lunch every day since he's not a kid, but this is completely different. It's a one-time thing that only happened because OP overslept. Something like that doesn't happen often, but it still happens to everyone. The wife didn't not pack his lunch because she was too busy; she just didn't want to. It's not a matter of boundaries, and it's honestly something worth a fight/argument. She had no point to prove, there was no moral of the story that she wanted to convey. I don't know... I wouldn't feel very loved if my partner cared so little, they'd just sit on the couch with their phones out, knowing full well I'd likely not have breakfast and lunch that day. If my partner came with the same request, even if it wasn't worded completely politely, I'd still do it. If his wording bothers me, I'll tell him later. He's in a rush and I can help him feel less stressed.

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

Yeah we would all like to think we’re selfless saints but this sounded too one sided for me. Too suspicious. He is hiding something, many his wife telling him to turn off the Netflix and go to bed.

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@tabathaalshalhoub1653 It sounded pretty simple - he asked for help, in an emergency - she refused. Are you sure you aren't projecting your experience? Nothing suggests there's anything more to this than that - just the weirdness of why she has this hang-up.

[@epicXtrollface]

@@tabathaalshalhoub1653 Still though, I don't know... Even if my boyfriend were to stay up late against my better judgement and ends up oversleeping, I'd still throw together something quick if it means he'd otherwise be without food. Slapping two pieces of bread together with a slice of cheese in-between would be good enough at that point anyways. So long as it's not a recurring thing, which it sounds like it isn't, I'd say the wife was acting strange. But who knows, maybe he said something rude.

[@kt3255]

Yeah, I mostly pack my own lunch, but if I sleep in for whatever reason, and yell down the stairs to ask my boyfriend if he can pack me a lunch, there will be a lunch waiting for me when I get down there. It’s a weird boundary, and my thought is: why you punishing your husband for something your dad did? Also, how does she KNOW her dad wasn’t appreciative? It sounded like it was her take, but maybe her dad wasn’t demonstrative in public but showed appreciation in private. She could be completely wrong in her interpretation based on the info here.

[@AuntLoopy123]

@@kt3255 Yeah. Maybe her father lavished praise and gratitude on her mother IN BED, and they kept that private. "Oh, baby! That lunch you packed for me today was SOOOOO goood! I was thinking ALL afternoon about how I can't WAIT to get you alone and thank you properly! Mmmmmmm!" and really, the WAY the refused was a slap in the face. Not, "I'm too busy!" but "No. I'm playing on my game and I don't CARE if you get in trouble at work. I have a BOUNDARY because I didn't SEE my father lavish praise and gratitude on my mother EVERY DAY when she packed a lunch, so I will NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pack a lunch for ANY MAN!" Did she even say, "I love you," when he ran out the door?" Maybe I've been seeing too many Apple Texts videos lately, but I'd swear, this marriage is headed for divorce. Also, if your PARTNER asks for your help, and it crosses a boundary FOR THE FIRST TIME, you HELP, and then say, "We will DISCUSS THIS LATER." Then, you schedule a time when you are both calm and open and discuss it. Yes, I've also been watching a lot of Cinema Therapy. This marriage is doomed, if they don't get some.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story one gave me creepy vibes. Like the mother is in love with her son and the son is too innocent and oblivious to notice

[@starbuck269]

Story 2: NTA. There are red flags about the situation that calls for a prenup. OP stated that his son was given a condo and has a high paying job. So where is all this disposable income going that he can’t afford the wedding without tapping into his trust fund? He has no rent just utilities. Fiancé works so even if she didn’t make much, it’s just more extra cash. How expensive of a wedding are they shooting for?

[@miminana-hd6nf]

yes, there was an update on another site. The son was footing the bill for everything. It had nothing to do with how much the fiance was earning but about the fact she spent all her money and then the son spent all of his supporting the fiance. She really brought nothing to the table and the son had no savings due to spending all his money making the fiance happy.

[@ElleD308]

And lets be honest, a man would never take out his trust fund to pay his wedding, it's clear she asked him to take the money.

[@axepagode33626]

Trust Fund Story: 🤣🤣 OP's son John: "You are implying she is a gold digger." OP: She has asked you to use your trust fund to pay for a wedding. You can't waste money any faster than that.

[@pansprayers]

He asked to use his trust fund. He literally said he didn't think she had much to contribute to the wedding. We were given zero indication she knew he asked. Read/listen for comprehension, not for your own weird hang ups.

[@jimdob6528]

@@pansprayers we also don’t know that she isn’t pressuring him as well. Gold diggers of both genders have been around since the dawn of man. Honestly OP is a good parent to look out for his son.

[@axepagode33626]

@@jimdob6528 Yes.

[@black-wizard-zeref]

@@jimdob6528 agreed besides. In the relationship u give n take. Op son is just giving. He's buying always it seems and when trust fund is gone I bet they target the sister and ask for loans from her or favours lol or he go to father for more. Then it will be playing favourites. Lol 💀 fact that reddit can't sed father I'd a great father. A pren-up is must for all now a days. U can't truly tell if she's s gold digger or a cheat aswell they always hide it till marriage as happened and when u past the days were u can cancel it.

[@dianeghazaryan4773]

​@@black-wizard-zerefjust don't whine when the only women who agree to marry you are ugly lmao

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 3. Honestly if someone already tried pulling this BEFORE the party, that's an auto-disinvitation to me. You can't trust them to not ruin and disregard your decision.

[@Oicurmtoyoy]

Story 4: I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Like, people are saying it's a trivial thing to get upset over, but is that not a trivial thing to set a boundary over? Yes, boundaries are important, but this one seems to be needlessly rigid. Marriage is a partnership, she should've helped him out. And why are people saying OP "demanded" instead of asked? "I need your help" and "please" aren't demands.

[@SuzzyWow]

I wonder if he's ill the no serving/ packing lunch Rule stays.

[@-MrsG-]

That’s exactly how I feel too. You’re supposed to help in emergencies- it’s part of the vows that most people say on their wedding day!

[@ohnooffwego]

Yeah I can't imagine playing on my phone while my wife struggled because she made a silly mistake. Why even get married if you can't do a simple thing to have your partner's back?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@-MrsG- I agree, and this isn't "a trivial thing", this is just the surface of the issue. The wife's reasoning doesn't make sense: "My dad was a decent guy, he wasn't abusive or demanding, and I don't have any trauma around it. He just didn't 'seem to appreciate' it." What does that even mean? How does she know he didn't appreciate it? Is she privy to the intimate details of her mom and dad's lives? Maybe he's an Acts Of Service kinda guy. He may not fall all over himself with "OMG Sweetie! Thank you so much for this most amazing lunch!" (Or he might, and OP just wasn't present for every conversation her parents had), maybe he was more of a "brings flowers home to wife" or "Let me get to the Honey-do list!" to show appreciation type of person. She never mentioned that her mother felt under or unappreciated. So, why is this a "Hill to die on" thing for her? All of that said, I'm pretty petty, so I think I would start to respond in kind when she asks for him to do things he doesn't like doing. But in all seriousness, I think OP needs to have a serious discussion with her about being partners. It seems very unbalanced right now. According to him, she only works part time, so that means she likely isn't contributing as much to bills, if anything at all. He says they basically split housework evenly even though he works full time and likely pays most or all of the bills. And I'm being generous with agreeing to his assessment of the "even split of the housework", because he said they basically split the inside housework 50/50, and she "may sometimes do a little more in the house", but that is negated by his next part with "and I do all the yard work". Then when he does ask for help, he gets a dismissive "not my problem", while she ignores him and plays on her phone. That's pretty callous. She legitimately saw her husband panicking and rushing and seemingly felt nothing at all (maybe even contempt based on her responses) for him? Why be with someone if you don't want to be equals or supportive? Would she be cool if he did the same? If she asked him to help with something and he said "not my problem" then proceeded to ignore her and play games? Would she say "Fair point, my bad" and drop it? I highly doubt it. I get the feeling that if OP takes a step back, he may see this isn't an isolated incident. It just doesn't feel that way. At the very least. they need Marriage counseling.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

I felt like I was taking crazy pills too. The wife got offended and stubborn over nothing and really behaved in a way that lacked empathy for her husband and was overly rigid for seemingly no reason. My conjecture is either her parents relationship was worse than she claimed or she has spent way too long in toxic fringe forums that have gone from awareness and activism around women's issues to punishing the people in their real life for the perceived faults of the patriarchal system. That sort of "activism" can turn quite toxic and it's easy to feed selfish inclinations with a burning fire of "how dare they". Reddit is going with the wife because the advice forums are infested with people who can only read statistics on Twitter or can only see situations through their own bias. Some people are probably trying to point OP towards more helpful ways of communicating with his wife, but most of them seemed to barely read past the title.

[@BlueSkyBS]

Story 1: This is such a clear case of emotional incest that I'm stunned by the level of denial OP's.... I'd suggest ex, now, because he should be their ex after this.... has. And accusing OP of being the creepy one? OP should put continents between herself and this family.

[@18Hongo]

Yeah, the phrase "What in the Freudian fuck?" was my reaction, and I'm pretty sure it was appropriate.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3: You just don't make life announcements at other people's milestone celebrations! Who started doing this? It's VILE!

[@nikkiwhray1598]

Fix the mistake when they get back? She ALREADY fixed her mistake - by leaving!

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

Story 4: Apparently the OP is the father of her wife, because her mother did that to her father and that father didn't appreciate the effort, but that was her father, not her partner and the OP only ask for help this one time, so yeah the OP NTA. If she ever need any help you should pay in the same way and remember her when she did this.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta his mom is acting like a four year old. While the gf is encouraging this. I'm glad op left. She needs to get out.

[@TsukiKageTora]

You mean BF not GF

[@juanhaines7295]

@TsukiKage Tora you know what I meant sir corrects a lot.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@juanhaines7295 Why are you so offended?

[@juanhaines7295]

@TsukiKageTora why do you feel the need to correct people on their spelling?

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@juanhaines7295 I don’t I just thought you should know as a good deed. I asked why you got offended because it wasn’t my intention to hurt or offend anyone. But I’ll just say sorry my actions hurt you so we can move on from a potential argument that doesn’t need to happen.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "The room might be haunted" I'm sorry but that is THE most bullshit excuse I have ever heard from a grown adult. Listen, I can understand if she had a horrible nightmare but even _then,_ just running into the room and getting into the bed, _your_ side of the bed for that matter, without even asking/waiting for a response then essentially trying to kick _you_ out is out of line on _so many levels._ That is NOT an innocent relationship, it's controlling at _best._ Edit: That Story is exactly where my mind went too, if I didn't know any better I'd say this was the same one or an alternate time line where Op stayed.

[@abbysmith5933]

More like emotional inc*** is way more common in families than people know. I hope it’s something that gets discussed a little more because it can completely ruin people’s lives or at the very least cause a lot of hurt and problems.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

lol, yeah, that excuse was dumb. "The room is haunted? Oh that can't be possible MiL! The only malevolent demon that was in your room, is now trying to enter my room. But fear not! I salted the doorway so you... errr, the demon, can't enter! Bye bye now!"

[@Harry-iq4xt]

Story 4: OP is NTA at all, he was literally late for work and while it was his fault to get out of the door at the earliest he asked his wife for help. A marriage is a partnership and not helping your partner because of a boundary that isn't particularly traumatic (if we're to believe OP) is very unhelpful. It may not come up ever again but the wife has shown that in a situation where the husband needs help, she cannot be counted on.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Yeah agreed. If she didn't like the way he asked she could have said then and there and he could have aplolgised, rephrased or even said... I'll owe you and promised whatever date night or pamper voucher etc... one expensive packed lunch he won't forget again 😂... She just ignored him and that was very rude. It's not ok to punish other people for what someone else has done. 😢

[@saratronus]

I slightly disagree, I think it's the way he frames it. It didn't seem more of a demand than an ask. When she does fit into what she had a problem with as a child growing up with her father expecting the mother to make these. Not to mention I would never expect my partner to do something. They're uncomfortable with me because I f***** u*. I just think that's asshole thing in general.

[@kaylaprice370]

In story 1 it's not even about sharing the bed for me but the way it was handled and he was disregarding her feelings and boundaries and then has Pikachu face when she gets pissed. smh...that boy is Hella dumb

[@miminana-hd6nf]

I think I had read an update on the prenup story, on another site. OP cleared some things up. The son's fiance truly brought nothing to the table. It was not about how much money she made but about how she spent every cent the son made and they had, absolutely, no money to fall back on. The son paid for everything, all the living expenses and all expenses for recreational activities. There was, definitely, money mismanagement on both the son, and fiance's, part.

[@eileen58]

For the last story, it's the way he phrased it. He didn't say please or ask it like a question, it was more of a demand: I need you to (insert demand here.) If he had just said "babe, I'm running super late, could you please pack my lunch for me? I would love (insert what you want here) please." Phrasing like this would probably have changed everything, it certainly would change it for me. The "just this once help me out" also implies that she never does anything for him, which was rude too. I think if it had been my husband and I and he asked like that, I would have done it, but when he got home I would ask him to ask me and be more respectful next time. I'd tell him I understand he was in a rush, but it felt like an order rather than asking for help and that I love helping him, but I don't like demands like I'm a servant.

[@HunterRaider13]

Story 1; the mom is weird. I’ve shared a bed with my mother or grandmother before on vacation, but that was because we had previously discussed it (and there were only two beds in a hotel room and booking a second room isn’t an option because of money issues) but this was never when I was seeing or with someone. Now that I have a significant other, they respect that I deserve the space of my own hotel room and leave us alone.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Yes, but you are a woman. It's not like you were sharing with your Dad or Grandpa.

[@HunterRaider13]

@@anndownsouth5070 considering I don’t have a father or grandfather, that’d be super awkward 😬

[@kolonarulez5222]

Last story: imagine having someone who loves you in a bind and you throw a tantrum instead of suffer the minor inconvenience one time. Relationships are sad nowadays

[@brianaschmidt910]

Not really. Just people seem to have lost their god-damned minds nowadays

[@Uneclipsed]

On that last one-I’m torn between everyone sucks and no assholes. Like, he already notified his boss he was running late. When his wife told him she wouldn’t pack him a lunch, that was his cue to suck it up and take an extra two minutes to make his own. I don’t think he was wrong to ask and it definitely would have been nice of her to help him, but she was clear from the beginning that she wouldn’t do it. Is it a silly hill to die on? Definitely. Would I want to be with someone who I didn’t feel had my back when I was stressed? Of course not. But also would anyone be surprised if she had said yes and then suddenly OP started “running late” more frequently so he wouldn’t have to make lunch? Sounds like she already does the bulk of the housework. She might not have wanted to set the expectation that she would compromise her boundaries if OP’s demand was desperate enough. He’s a big boy. What would he have done if this happened when he was single? Throw a fit and eat from the vending machine like he did or take the extra few minutes to pack his sandwich, fruit, chips, and couple bottles of soda?

[@beansquee2383]

Sitting around watching your spouse flailing trying to get his stuff ready to go is such an AH move. I genuinely would be dying on the hill if I were him. You’re my partner and you want to act like an absolute idiot? You’re going to get what you dish and you better be grateful.

[@chaddon7685]

Last story: NTA. Wifey was incredibly unreasonable. I would have probably told her not to ask me for a favor when she's in a bind. I'm the type to do a lot for my partner without being asked... she'd feel the change.

[@cdrocrossdiscovery]

Story 1: NTA. Time to get a new boyfriend. If he won't set boundaries with his mommy, time to cut the both of them off for good.

[@cierazeh3522]

for that last story, if my partner was that unsupportive where there was no actual trauma, i'd straight up file for divorce no joke xD If i can't trust someone to be there for me (and they trust me to be there for them) what even is the point?

[@AuntLoopy123]

I know I'd be TERRIFIED if I were in a car accident, or something major like th at. "WAIT! I can't ask my WIFE for help! She has BOUNDARIES!"

[@elaexplorer]

For story 3 I feel cousin would have demanded a share of the baby gifts given half a chance

[@Davtwan]

“We are having a big party anyways. She [Aunt] said it’s not a big deal and we can both share the day.” Translation: “I’m too cheap to make my own party for my own daughter, so I’m using the resources and audience of yours.”

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 2: I'm not against prenups, but the way OP worded this just shows how little he thinks of future DIL. It's drenched in there from the way he talks about the kids' achievement to how he invalues the STBDIL.

[@ChrisAndCats]

No, they are protecting the sons assets against loss. It's always a good idea when one has assets before marriage where the other doesn't, whichever way around it is.

[@stellamccoy5259]

What if she is a gold digger? If not then a prenuptial will not matter, if so then........

[@bbjjbb61]

@@ChrisAndCats I agree wholeheartedly. There are facts out there and people want others to say things in a certain way but I just do not agree. Fact one, people who are rich rarely marry someone who is not at least earning a good amount and for good reason. Fact two, when someone has a large inheritance coming it is vital to protect if they're getting married. Fact three, if this was two wealthy people a prenup would likely be a forgone conclusion. Fact four, if the son was a daughter and marrying a man Reddits who comment section would've been all for it.

[@bbjjbb61]

@@stellamccoy5259 Yeah it will? A prenup that says in the event of cheating or divorce the other person gets nothing would make a massive difference. The son will be hurt but he'll still be rich won't he? Money isn't everything but it sure does help.

[@bbjjbb61]

Who cares? I mean really? There is a massive difference in people who are rich AF and people who aren't. Not acknowledging it doesn't change it. If I was rich I'd be damned if I let someone else put me in a situation where I'd be less rich and let's all be honest here people who don't have money sometimes lie, kill, and steal to get it. I find it responsible to be mindful of one's assets and of my kid's assets which I would be giving them. Why can't they wait to get married? If the money's not the issue and they are in love what difference would 3 years make? If the son is fine paying for everything then, again, what difference does 3 years make? Or even a year while he/they save up? This whole thing smells funny to me.

[@conckretangel]

Imagine being so hung up on something so small as making your partner a lunch that you refuse to help them the ONE time they ask and are running late. All because her generally-decent father expected her mother to do it for him. Petty wife, and op is NTA. those that were saying everyone sucks or that he was the ahole are out of their minds.

[@pansprayers]

Or, respect boundaries. Plan ahead, and either pack your own lunch the night before, or go to bed on time. It's not hard to adult.

[@gaxalee7392]

She needs therapy. Such a “small” thing is causing her to intentionally start things and be rude with her husband. Being willing to harm an otherwise good relationship is not healthy. And I’m not talking about not packing the lunch but the attitude of “not my job, not my problem” that she got afterward. She could have mentioned her personal hang up and said something like, “I just can’t, I’m sorry”.

[@DerekScottBland]

@@pansprayers - oh piss off, that isn't a boundary, it's being an asshole. You either aren't married or are a selfish nightmare for your spouse.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@pansprayers See, that is the amazing thing about life; You can make all the right plans, prep things decades in advance, do EVERYTHING correctly and "adult properly", and life can still sometimes fuck you dry and raw. Another fun fact: Humans make mistakes from time to time, and it doesn't make them worthless if they need help once in a while. But what makes life bearable, is that even in those times when plans fail and/or people make mistakes, the people who claim they love and support you, actually **gasp** love and support you. Some boundaries are less about respect and more about control and bullshit. In this case, hers is more on the control and bullshit end because, AGAIN, when you marry someone you accept and expect that sometimes, you may have to do something you don't like in order to help the person you claim to love and respect. She stated she didn't have any trauma around this, she just "doesn't like doing it". I'm sure he "just doesn't like" paying the majority of the bills, but he still seems to do so. Her being dismissive, kicking up her feet and playing video games right next to her panicking husband is just pettiness on her part. And I'm willing to bet that if he said "sorry, I just don't like doing XYZ" kicked up his feet and played video games when she asked him for help with something, it would be "but that's different!", right? Why marry someone if you expressly don't want to be supportive of each other?

[@AuntLoopy123]

@@gaxalee7392 Except she COULD do it. She said she "just doesn't like" to do it. That's it. She "just doesn't like" to do it. And instead of saying, "I can't," she just sat there, PLAYING, while he struggled. And what if he missed something important, and lost his job over it? Or made a horrible mistake, because he has hungry and light-headed at work, and didn't think clearly? If she can die on the hill that "I don't do this one chore I just don't like doing," then what's stopping him from dying on the hill of "I won't stay with a partner who doesn't help me when I'm in trouble"? They NEED therapy, and I'm afraid for their marriage.

[@drippystaff5657]

Story 2 : I don't agree with some of the way he worded it, but I do agree with OP that his son should get a prenup. It just makes sense, especially when she doesn't really contribute anything financially, maybe get one where if wither party commits Infidelity then they get screwed over.

[@dustyrose192]

He was right but wrong at the top of his voice

[@JSainte17]

I’m sure Reddit is going to call him an AH bc it’s his own fault for being late but good god. What kind of relationship is it when your partner won’t throw a sandwich together for you when you’re running late? She needs therapy if this one thing, but not other chores she does willingly is a hang up. He asked nicely. It’s not like he demanded.

[@AuntLoopy123]

And yet, SO MANY people are claiming he demanded and was rude and entitled about how he demanded. Because he didn't take the time to GROVEL for it, apparently.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 4: I would maliciously comply about whatever in the house isn't his job to do from now on until she cracks and apologized. But I'm really petty.

[@kaylaprice370]

I would too! it's one thing for her to be busy but she was up on the couch playing on her phone. pushing aside she works part time and all that. it would've taken her 5 minutes to do it. it's not like her dad made her pack his lunch. and what if he appreciated her mom behind closed doors? that woman is a peice of work

[@DerekScottBland]

Yeah, if I were OP I'd be inventing a shit ton of new boundaries, all because "my wife traumatized me by not helping me out one time when I asked her to."

[@LaineyBug2020]

@@kaylaprice370 that's what I was thinking! How TF did she know her Dad wasn't sending mom to O-Town multiple times a night in appreciation for making his lunches? Kids don't know half the stuff that goes on in their parents' lives. She's treating her marriage like a transaction and keeping track of things instead of loving and supporting a partner. She sounds toxic AF!

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@LaineyBug2020 Exactly! Or how did she know her dad wasn't saying thank you for the lunches, unless she sees EVERY word they say to each other? Or, what if he did say Thank you, but she didn't view that as "appreciative enough"? Or what if his Love Language was Acts of Service or Gift Giving and he was buying mom flowers or taking her out to show his appreciation? I think if I was OP I would develop a new boundary: "My dad always paid all the bills so my mom could not work or only work pat time and not pay bills, and she didn't seem to appreciate my dad for it. I don't have any trauma around it, I just don't like doing it, so that is a boundary of mine. I won't be paying the majority of the bills, we'll have to split them 50/50. Please respect my boundary."

[@abbysmith5933]

I’m hoping you and people agreeing with you are too young to be in a serious relationship because some of the responses to story 4 are even more immature than the OP in the story was being.

[@dreamydoc]

To me story 4's op is not the asshole, marriage is a partnership, I can't fathom to not help my partner when they're in need of assistance, especially as a one off circumstance as this. It seems callous, like there's no love there, while she sits and plays with her phone, while he's frantic. Her partner is not her father, if her father didn't appreciate it, that doesn't mean her partner wouldn't.

[@cheryl8705]

Well said!

[@princesspanda12012]

I hope the next time the wife needs help with some OP answers NO. OP is NTA but his wife certainly is

[@TheSignGuy1234]

Story 4: NTA Sleeping in is a common mistake we all make from time to time. Seriously, she could've have helped him by making him a lunch? He didn't even demand it, he asked for help. We help the people we love within reason.

[@charmcat123]

I know this one disturbed me..ppl saying he demanded it..no he asked and then when she said no he said please...if my husband is late I always want to help him, because I love him and I don't want him to have a bad day...is it just me or don't you feel like you want to help someone you love unconditionally

[@abbysmith5933]

We only got his version of the story. I think he was being extremely immature and inconsiderate of her boundary. Also acting like it was way more of an emergency than it actually was.

[@philwill0123]

@@abbysmith5933 yep, all these "I would divorce her if she didn't mKe my lunch" are the same people who support people who refuse to help othersin trouble because of boundaries (e.g guy who hates babies, refuses to look after nephew while sister goes to toilet/do laundry because "boundaries". Also he did demand lunch. Its his responsibility. From now on, he van do his lunch before bed.

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@abbysmith5933 I think we're getting *your* version of the story. It says more about you, sadly.

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@philwill0123 '..all these "I would divorce her if she didn't mKe my lunch" ' So which story or comments was that in? Because you appear to have invented it.

[@damien678]

Story 4: NAH, tbh. He's allowed to be upset she didn't help out one time while he's stressing... but she's also allowed to uphold this firm and understandable boundary. They could and should be kinder to each other, though, in how they respond to feelings.

[@Flakey101]

I would have more sympathy for OP if he asked her in the first place. Instead he shouted orders at her. That is too close to why she refused to make packed lunches in the first place.

[@milesanderson7883]

Yea if your not doing anything and your partner need help you should probably help. It’s a AH move to make your partner more late to a job when you are doing nothing and when you make less money than them.

[@abbysmith5933]

@@milesanderson7883 I completely disagree. She works part time AND does most of the housework. So she’s clearly pulling her weight. Even so, that’s irrelevant to this IMO. The husband was acting really immature. He even took the time to make himself more late by yelling at her for not helping him while she was on her phone. Oh boohoo. He had to eat vending machine food for one day. Doesn’t sound much different from the junk he was planning on packing anyway. (Chips and multiple bottles of soda???)

[@kaylaprice370]

have you never shouted down the hall before? it's not like he was yelling at her and demanded she make it. he asked and said please. I feel like it's the way she did it that made him more upset. like being on her phone and not giving a crap that did it for him. I'm sorry but one time and she can't put that aside and help him out? whose to say he doesn't help her out when she has a bad day? we don't know the whole story

[@Flakey101]

@@kaylaprice370 He did not ask, he told her to do it because he really needed it. He only added in please and then ask after she already said no.

[@justjenny5437]

The last story-the boundary about packing a lunch-is a stupid boundary in this situation. The wife is an AH for not helping with making a lunch just ONE time

[@oliviabean8264]

He's a dick to for the way he barked orders at her and expected immediate compliance. One person not being perfect doesnt make the other person in the conflict a saint.

[@princesspanda12012]

The wife is a HUGE AH, she's his WIFE and it was ONE time.

[@justjenny5437]

@@princesspanda12012 Exactly!!

[@tkb5726]

Hey Mark! Thanks for the awesome vids. I’ve been going through a lot of crap lately but your vids and positive vibes always put a little pep in my step. Especially the pet tax Tuesdays! Don’t know where you got the idea but I love it. Stay awesome my friend. Much love.

[@moonlightwolf]

Hope things get better for you mate

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Sending all the hugs 💜💜🤗🤗

[@darlingJasper]

Oof, high key relate OP. Hope things get better for you

[@tkb5726]

Oh my gosh thank you so much everyone. Sounds a little cliche but I didn’t really expect anyone to actually read this. The good vibes and hugs are very much appreciated though and really made my day. ☺️

[@tkb5726]

@@darlingJasper I hope things start looking up for you too my friend. Hard times suck but it will get better

[@larry9910]

I recently learned that the moment you use something in a marriage it can be argued that it need to be split when you divorce and a prenup is what nullifies that

[@rebecca4480]

Rainbow baby story. I would throw that cake in pos aunty's face haha

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: Eh, I'm gonna go against the grain and say NTA. Yeah, OP is being classist about the fiancee and if I were her, I wouldn't feel too thrilled about being judged based on how much money I've made so far. Then again, I probably wouldn't be in her position and she's getting a pretty sweet deal. The thing is, though, that it's OP's money and it was the son's request for OP to release the money for a wedding. So, it doesn't appear that OP was using the money to manipulate his son. Nor is a prenup a bad idea on either side. A big wedding isn't a necessity and the money will be released once the son turns 30, anyway (which he's already close to being). If the son wants his father to do this favor, and he really doesn't want to wait, then he can jump through this one hoop. You don't act all high and mighty when you're going begging.

[@lycantabris]

A 27yo man sleeping in a bed with his mom isn't the problem here - my brother (same age as this guy) and I (30F) occasionally sleep next to our mom, it's innocent and no big deal. But this guy isn't simply sharing a bed with his mom. No, no, no, the problem is that she's going into the room where her son is sleeping with his partner to try to get between them... and also that he's perfectly fine with that. If the mom had insisted on him sharing with her before the vacation in some kinda "no sex until marriage" nonsense, that'd be odd but faaar less creepy. The whole "oh, I was hearing noises" and then stealing the OP's spot in bed next to the bf nonsense genuinely makes this disturbing. Like, what? That's a move that's only acceptable or innocent from literal children, be they one's own child or a child-age younger sibling or something. Like, dude, you don't let your mom pull the "too scared to sleep alone" move unless perhaps she's totally senile and it's just logistically safer to go along with it. Like, idk man, this isn't weird because a guy slept next to his mom. It's weird for everything around it.

[@damien678]

yeah, this

[@brookesanders6897]

Thank you! I was honestly surprised by all the people saying the generalized concept was weird! I don't agree at all. The context/the mom's specific actions were what made it weird as hell lol.

[@messinalyle4030]

Yeah, Mark even did a video about a young man who had slept next to his mother to comfort her because his father, her husband, had died, and the guy's girlfriend read something sexual into it and everybody thought she was nuts. So clearly we don't think that an adult sleeping with their parent is *never* done under *any* circumstances. Besides, isn't that sort of thing done more often in communalistic cultures?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Lol, personally, I think OP missed the perfect opportunity to be a Preying Mantis to her creepy MIL. I think OP should have gone along with it once she saw paul with his floppy spine, and told MIL to slide on over so I can get in bed too. Then proceed to snuggle, spoon, grope, and kiss on her "in my sleep". If she wants to try to prevent her precious baby from having sexy time, then she needs to put out instead (I'm kidding on the putting out part. I'm just saying, MIL is obviously trying to make OP feel unwanted and uncomfortable, so OP should deny her that satisfaction and make MIL uncomfortable instead.) Leaving the next day is still a good choice though, and if OP paid for the room, I hope she removed her card and cancelled the room so they were forced to pay for their own room for the remainder of their romantic mother-son getaway. Also, I hope OP read the writing on the wall and paul is now and Ex.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I bet Mom went back to her room after OP left! Problem solved 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[@RockerBabe0015]

If my cousin tried to announce her pregnancy at my babyshower, her and anyone that agreed with what she was trying to do would no longer be welcomed in my baby's life. They could have announced the baby at any time. Do it the day before, do it the day after, I don't care. But that one day should have been the only day that was off limits. Also, who cares if everyone was going to be there. Do it on Facebook like everyone else.

[@ShubhamBH22]

Story 4: NTA, it's so dumb. OP wife needs therapy if her issue is so bad that she can't even help in case of emergencies.

[@LisaApril]

In regard to the prenup story, the dad should read Shera seven’s book “I bring nothing to the table”. Onto the baby shower story, they actually told the aunt prior that cousin’s baby shower was not welcome on their day. The Aunt actually just ignored them, which made Aunt wrong.

[@stay1080]

What perfect timing! I just finished replaying your recent videos and 5 minutes later you posted a new one

[@LordBison98]

Story 4: Idk, his wife sounds like she is just being an arse. He was stressed, late, and she decided "No, I won't help my stressed husband." Literally one time wouldn't kill her.

[@ynmonroe]

Story 3: They were right to kick the aunt and cousin out. This was a sly attempt to throw their own party without throwing it. I mean, why didn't they announce it or plan one themselves before OP made her plans? Or, why wasn't the offer to share the party with an attempt to chip in to split the cost? Nope, they knew what they were doing. Plus, due to the cousin's outburst, it's clear there is some jealousy there. They didn't want OP to have all the attention even at her own party.

[@LivBee.]

Honestly the last story is NTA to me. I’d argue the wife is TA because she was just scrolling on her phone in plain view… she wanted him to get mad at her. She seems to think OP is her father or something lol. She needs to realize OP is her partner and wouldn’t treat her that way, but this is also a very odd hangup to have.

[@Parasolhyena]

It is a weird pet peeve but it's from what op says the only line she doesn't want crossed, so it seems trival to us but I guess less to her, i don't get why but it's pretty easy to make your own lunch even if you are late, I honestly have to say either esh or nah.

[@alexshaw8167]

I’m SO GLAD OP in the first story spoke up and left. What a weird family, even weirder that the bf didn’t think it was strange.

[@Siinwu]

4th story is ironic, the wife didnt wanna do lunches and became exactly like her farther that didnt do em either. OP NTA.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

not entirely true, she became like the image she has of her in her head. The fact of the matter is, her Dad likely showed more gratitude in other ways to his wife for the lunches for his work, and did things for her without question just like she did for him. OP wife is the one with the issue here, not her dad or mother.

[@jessicamarsh9779]

2:21 omg that mom has some serious boundary issues. Like that’s sick.

[@1911odisea]

Story 4: I'm sorry, but how the wife isn't a huge asshole? If the genders were flipped, no none would even question this. I can't imagine not helping out my girlfriend in a situation like this, just like I can't imagine her helping out me - that's why we've been happy for years. The Redditors are acting like OP asked some random person from the street to help him out. Being nice to your partner isn't doing them a favour, it's the default in any healthy relationship. But I guess you can't expect Redditors to know how healthy relationships work.

[@rollerdavem]

Story 1: the "wierd noises" she thought she heard was OP and mama's precious baby getting it on...

[@jaycehoward2771]

As a married person who has a excellent partnership and we actively work on things and learn from our mistakes. I have absolutely done things that I didn't like to help my partner. So my POV to the wife is an AH. Marriage is not always 50/50 and a time will come that you have to do something you don't like but that's what it's all about. Also the ppl saying he was demanding are crazy, if that's demanding to them then it makes me understand why so many ppl get offended so easily today...

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA oh, my God, please do not marry this man, you will never be a priority to him. You would be his second wife.

[@DWPersianExcursion]

Love and blessings to you all Love from Texas ❤️

[@GMWILD87]

Story 2 OP should let his son learn the hard way.

[@Buff_Helpy]

Story 2: I ain't sayin she a gold digger...

[@KisameOwnsYouAll]

s2; "I'm gonna use a chunk of my cushy trust fund on a party! Hur durr!!" NTA, stand your ground.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Forgot to say earlier hope your break was nice mark much love💜💜🤗🤗

[@colorcutie97]

Story 3: I have heard this one with the and then heard it on this video and OP was already NTA but then became super NTA because cousin after that told everyone she had miscarried to which OP was there for her when she had just given birth herself only to find out the cousin was making the whole pregnancy/miscarriage up just so she could “get more attention than OP when her rainbow baby was born” absolutely disgusting and each time I’ve heard it has had me furious that people like this exist

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

Story 4: Marry someone who is willing to go out of their way to be kind to you. This wife is a brat. A boundary over packing a lunch, just because she doesn't feel her generally-decent father appreciated her mother enough for that task? Absolutely juvenile.

[@brigidtheirish]

I generally agree. I was kinder in my own comment because I understand having weird hangups and reacting badly to raised voices (comes with being on the autism spectrum), but if this is *really* such a huge issue for her, she needs *help.*

[@kaylaprice370]

right??!! it's not like her dad made her do it. and it was one time. it would be petty but I would refuse to help her out with anything for a while. say that's my boundary and I don't feel appreciated being the bread winner and all...such a witch

[@samalvarez8776]

Seriously my ex husband used to beat me for not packing him a lunch or for forgetting or it not being "good enough". Does that mean I make my now amazing husband pack his own lunches if he is in a time crunch? No it doesn't. He's actually a SAHD and he makes sure I have coffee and a lunch ready to go out the door. I would 100% do that for him. This woman is petty AF. She could have done this, this 1 time for him. Does this mean that if something happens and he's bed ridden she won't give him lunch? Like what is this?

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

@@brigidtheirish If it was a significant emotional issue, she would be watching anxiously or something, not playing on her phone with her feet up. I understand having weird hangups, but her rationale and lack of emotional response is just... strange. Makes me think she's just too entitled.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

@@kaylaprice370 Yeah, that's the other weird thing. She works part time, doesn't seem to handle the lion's share of the housework, and refuses to step up to help with the occasional emergency task. OP is getting run over.

[@missamanda2703]

Eeeewww the lunch thing pissed me off. I work part time because my husband let me stay home with our son. Now he is older I work pt as a nurse but 15 hours a week I pack all his lunch and make his dinner. When I do work early and I am late he jumps to my rescue. You don't have a partner.

[@lydiacatanzarite4099]

Story 3... did I hear that right? They were bashing the Rainbow Baby on facebook as well?

[@AuntLoopy123]

I saw that, too. An UNBORN rainbow baby. People bashing an UNBORN BABY, because the baby's mother and grandmother stood up for themselves against invasive assholes. Well, you know who to cut out of your life, don't you? Anyone who will bash an unborn baby NEVER gets another invitation from me.

[@nilianstroy]

Paul:" Fix this mistake..." OP: " I agree, we are breaking up right now."

[@cheskydivision]

No prenup then just wait the three years. If ops kid is so against it he can make sure it’s generous to his fiancé.

[@AuntLoopy123]

Yep. Pre-nups ought to protect BOTH parties. It's like insurance. It doesn't mean you're planning to burn your house down, just because you bouht insurance. But, if your house catches fire, though no fault of your own, won't you be glad to have insurance? You wear a seatbelt, not because you are PLANNING to crash your car, but because you are planning to SURVIVE, if you crash your car. And he can be as generous as he wants, while writing it. And you don't say about your future daughter-in-law "She doesn't bring much to the table." Does she make him HAPPY? Yes? Then she brings EVERYTHING HE WANTS to the table. Maybe the son WANTS a trophy wife. Some people DO. And the "trophies" bring happiness, in their own way. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's looks. Maybe it's prestige. Whatever it is, the spouse VALUES it. And that's all that matters.

[@doomspartan1176]

Story 2: if y’all not in the same tax bracket, prenup! Idgaf how much I love you. Imma protect myself and my future.

[@patheon9541]

Story 1: we sure the boyfriend isn't committing incest with mommy dearest cause that is creepy as hell dump this mamas boy OP NTA

[@TsukiKageTora]

Should be on the American show “I’m Dating a Mamma’s Boy”

[@philwill0123]

He isn't committing incest, because if he was, OP wouldn't have been invited on that family holiday. Would have been easier to disinvite OP and have a week of discreet incest. This is mother deliberately trying to split OP and BF by making him choose between mom's request and OP.

[@mericawillis2338]

Story 2, I don’t think Op is the AH. If the finance bleeds him dry we’ll probably hear about it later on

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Story three: don't ever announce a pregnancy until after week 12, as chances of miscarriage drop significantly. Not to zero % but it's very low

[@damien678]

the irony of the cousin losing the baby after not waiting for after 12 weeks and op's shower..... not that i want it to happen, but man, could you imagine just how extra messed up the drama would be?

[@tinafogarty404]

Last story- it sets up a moral dilemma for OP to decide when to leave his wife in the lurch. Will he? How much trouble will she be in when he has to think with his heart or his hurt feelings?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@moonlightwolf]

Thanks mate. Happy pride month to you!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@moonlightwolf thanks m8 much love 💜💜🤗🤗

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1: RUN. Run fast and far. Serpentine motions!

[@photofreak56]

Story 2 holy hell. I get wanting to tell people you are having a kid but there rules, no doing it at someone else's big day. Not at a wedding, graduation, baptism/ any big religious event, dance recital, art show, just don't do it. Yes its great news wonderful news but it can wait.

[@dustyrose192]

thats story three

[@gcolson3388]

Story 4: Listening to Op’s story, I was reminded of “The Incredibles” movie. In it, the superhero Frezon was searching frantically for his super suit, while the city was crashing around him. He ended up shrieking at his wife to help him find it. Sometimes we all feel like we need to save the world. In other words, let’s give Op a break.

[@josephtucker7181]

Marriage should be about helping each other she is not a good partner

[@princesspanda12012]

She is absolutely not a good partner

[@Gymtoshi]

Every now and again, I hear a story where I think to myself, I really hope OP is asking this specifically to send the link to their spouse. Story one is one of the stories

[@jimdob6528]

Story 2 NTA. Who cares if he calls her a gold digger directly? Prenups should be mandatory as should dna testing all children. The world would avoid so much bs if we made these legally mandatory. Force them to sign a prenup or make that girl prove her love and wait 3 years if they want a lavish wedding.

[@Josku2411]

Oop early should totally be sleeping but like i'm finally getting the before graduation jitters(exited nervousness) and finding it hard to sleep

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, do get some sleep!

[@Josku2411]

Since it's dope to graduate but like..i'm also socially anxious and need to climb on a stage infront of hundrets of people and then try not to fall getting down those death trap stairs(literally they were barely the size of my foot with gaps instead of like a backwall)

[@carolroberts4614]

I know how you feel then. I would be just the same! You'll be fine, trust Grandma here!

[@axepagode33626]

Now I'm not sayin she's a gold digga, but she ain't messin with a broke broke

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

That mum is the type to demand she get to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress along with OP on their wedding date and Paul will see no issue with it whatsoever. RUN, GIRL. RUN.

[@Lisapizzza]

I agree with the ESH that marriage is a partnership but I'd call it NTA honestly. It was such a small ask that didn't bring harm to anyone.

[@oliviabean8264]

I think based on everything in the story it's more about the way he demanded her to do it. Her issue is from seeing her mom treated like a servant and he did the same thing even if it wasnt intentional. He could have asked nicely but he barked orders at her like she was hired help and then went surprised Pikachu face when she didnt IMMEDIATELY comply with his wishes. Helping each other is important but so is communication, at best it's an ESH.

[@Lisapizzza]

@@oliviabean8264 I didn't feel like it sounded that demanding and if it did that was the stress talking. After that he did ask nicely though with a 'please just this one time'. Quite different from her dad who doesn't seem to appreciate her mom packing his lunch.

[@itsjustme7487]

Story 2.. That may have been my mother in law except his family were working class with only 2 kids instead of the 5 my parents had.

[@brandi5126]

S4: NTA. Part of being partners is helping out each other in a bind. Punishing you because her dad was an ahole is nonsensical and on her.

[@wessexdruid7598]

Punishing you because *she thinks* her dad was an ahole...

[@brandi5126]

@@wessexdruid7598 exactly!

[@naturalPaths]

Story 1: setting aside how effed up that is, OP and her boyfriend could have offered to take the haunted room and let mom have the safe one. ;D

[@brookesanders6897]

Story one: So with context, 100% NTA. Its obvious his mom is trying to drive a wedge/upstage OP which is definitely weird as hell. His mom is definitely being strange in this, so yeah in that context the whole thing was odd. That being said, in a more general context, I don't really agree with it being "weird" to share the bed with an adult parent of the opposite sex. I'm honestly kind of surprised by all the people who commented that, and I wonder if they don't have a very close knit family or what. They are family. I don't really see why its weird just because its opposite sex. How is mom and daughter, or son and father, realistically any different than mom + son or daughter and dad? Not even if your partner is there (obviously as long as there's no sexy time involved lmfao). Maybe that's just me, but I have an extremely close relationship with all of my family and just don't see it as weird to share the bed with my brothers, or dad, or them my mom, etc. My partner and I have shared rooms and a tent with my dad when we have all traveled together, I don't really see how that's much different than a bed, honestly. I know we would if we had to, though generally speaking we try to have our privacy and our own room where we can lol. I think it gets weird when there are other contexts or implications but it doesn't have to be weird/creepy/sexual/etc normally speaking...

[@abbysmith5933]

Your family is exceptionally close if you don’t think it’s weird. Saying it’s weird doesn’t have to imply anything sexual. It’s just a thing that is not done for most people.

[@joaolima7131]

I was kind of close with my mom and I'm 21, (was because she isn't around anymore) by 14 I already slept alone, I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed after that age. A bedroom gives a sense of privacy and personal space, it's different from a tent. It may not be weird per se for some people but it's very uncommon. But I'm kind of envious, my relationship with my whole family is rocky. And I keep almost everyone at arms lenght. Very conservative and judgmental people.

[@gaxalee7392]

@@abbysmith5933 You’re misusing the word “weird” if you’re using it because it doesn’t happen often. That’s called uncommon and something being uncommon doesn’t mean it’s weird. The only thing that makes the bed-sharing weird is the context.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@gaxalee7392 Pretty sure "of strange or extraordinary character" fits with "this doesn't happen often."

[@FrogsForBreakfast]

Seems like this is strongly a cultural thing lol. Even so, it's super rude of OP's spouse to ignore the fact that OP is clearly uncomfortable sleeping with MIL and just accept MIL's dumbass manipulative ghost excuse.

[@Krissjk09]

Happy Friday Mark