Dysphoria Triggers | vlog 94

[@patrickfrericks8867]

Daan, you are a very handsome, kind and loving man. Our brains are rather biased and when we look at ourselves we see what our emotions are at that moment. Masculinity is defined by certain standards and is different all over the world. I see you as an Alpha male, strong, faithful, unyielding to adversity and a true protector, a man that will make his significant other always feel safe in his presence yet is not afraid to show gentleness, compassion and tenderness. Sorry for the ramble but I couldn't say what I wanted in a few words. You make me proud to have you in the same community!

[@patrickfrericks8867]

I accidentally posted this as a reply instead of a stand alone comment.

[@weilaimarqelizabethsangita]

i absolutely love your intros (and ur video content)!!! they are so unique and your energy in the intros calms me ^.^ hope u feel better soon!

[@Daan_Spieard]

Thank you 🙂

[@rainbowtropolis]

I like your intros. Between the birds, nature and the nature of you, it all ties in nicely! I love the Hunger Games movies, but have never read the books. Work, study and life come first. Internet sharing is optional. I'll admit I love when I get replies, but we all have lives to live outside of our screen time 😊 It's really interesting how this whole week I've been thinking about going to the gym for exercise when it's cold up here (It gets to -40 F/C in the winter) Between your channel and one other I watch who's a trans body builder, this has come up more about being safe and comfortable in the gym. I just got done with physical therapy as well, and confided a bit about how I'd like to go but feel unsafe starting to go to the only gym in my town. I don't drive due to anxiety issues, I'd be a road hazard as well 🫣 One thing I've learned is to wear something lightweight and/or absorbent like a foam cutout or make your own from craft store foam of your choosing. Then make sure it will stay in before you go for a run or lift weights sort of thing by making "workout pants" that have a pouch pocket you just sew it right in so the foam doesn't slip out. I'm a hefty ftm, so my "overhang" kind of hides that part of me. That's part of the reason I was thinking of trying to go to the gym. I've lost 60 lbs and now have sagging skin, so I'm a bit more self conscious of the skin than a "down there" bulge of any kind right now. Most of my weight gain was from dysphoria, I hated how my body looked so I ate my feelings. I think you're very handsome, I don't see feminine at all. Just remember, we are our own worst critics. My biggest dysphoria is my voice, being I transitioned later in life (mid 30's) and my high pitched voice didn't change. I try to talk lower but I still hear the same voice. I still get called "mam" on the phone 😒 The Neverending Story is a great analogy actually, and another good movie ☺ Clothing would be a great topic for a video! The trials and tribulations of finding style/fit, mixed with finally ditching some top dysphoria 👍 I hope you feel better soon☺

[@shadetreader]

I used to steam my respiratory system as well! I mean, I haven't caught anything since I started wearing masks four years ago, but I should try it again anyway when I visit a desert 😅

[@sustainfem]

I love the intros and look forward to them. They set the mood for your video. Outros are good too! 💜🧡💚

[@AsherSteele87]

I LOVE YOUT INTROS!❤

[@CoMorbiditty]

Nothing wrong with your intros Daan. They are fine. Very relaxing and sets the tone for the video. Sorry you are sick, that sux. My sister is a writer, she has lots of books out. Im very proud of her accomplishments. Of course being pre surgery, the dysphoria is huge. Mine is huge atm. Hoping for top surgery this year. My voice is terrible, not like a man at all . I have a little bit of face hair. Do you have any hair on your face? Its about 14months on T for me. Do you have a lot of students talking about your transition and asking if you're a girl or boy? I do alot at the school I work in. I dont feel any affirmation. But your voice really does it for you. I love your face. I dont think you look feminine. Your hair is my goals lol. I love the NeverEnding Story. The music is so good. Love your vids. 🏳‍⚧🏳‍🌈♥ Edit: Ahhh you are neurodivergent!!! Awesome!!!

[@marcuscole4394]

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see my father, the next time I see my grandmother 🙂But I understand what you're saying. I think you are handsome and a gentle kind of masculnie which is the most wonderful to be. No packing is great and not necessaray. And if you feel you are behind in the gym, maybe hire a trainer once or twice a month, to give you some guidance. Thank for the wonderful post, Daan.

[@Daan_Spieard]

Thank you ☺️ I have workout program, so for me it's staying consistent and having a little bit of patience 😅

[@leongooijer162]

Hey Daan! Ik herken wat je zegt wat betreft sportkleren en wel/niet packen. Aantal weken geleden ben ik begonnen met hardlopen en zo'n lange hardloopbroek zit dicht om je huid heen. Het zou een ander dus op kunnen vallen dat er niks zit, want ik pack niet. De eerste paar keer bracht het me inderdaad in lichte onzekerheid, maar op een gegeven moment dacht ik: mijn lichaam, mijn keuzes en ik sport voor mezelf, niet voor een ander. Bij mij was het dus beetje gevalletje van een knop omzetten. De dysforie trigger is volledig te begrijpen maar het zegt meer over de ander dan over jezelf als mensen er een oordeel over hebben. En inderdaad, wat je zelf ook al zegt: wellicht heeft het ook gewoon even tijd nodig om eraan te wennen

[@Daan_Spieard]

True, je sport voor jezelf en niet voor iemand anders.

[@John26767]

If I can have a little of your time I would like to share my understanding and definition of masculinity (it might not be what you think)... ❤ So firstly I am a gay man. I have had many relationships in my lifetime, and issues around masculinity aren't uncommon, but here's a thing some heterosexual men question their masculinity too... So before I go any further I want to reassure you that you come across 100% masculine in your videos, and here's another thing your most prevalent feature/point of focus is your hairstyle. It is in itself a bold statement and shouts masculinity. Of course those interested in you romantically will perhaps focus more on your face, but again your face shouts masculinity too. So that out of the way let's talk about masculinity. 🙂 Most men are more focussed on "goals/targets". It can perhaps be defined as "go-get", they see a interest and they make a bee line for it (and that could be romantic pursuits, business pursuits, or anything in between). They don't spend time focussing on their image in the mirror, but instead through interaction work their way to achieving their intentions. The key here is not second guessing themselves, but instead think on their feet, drawing from past experiences to achieve their ends. Basically someone assured of themselves comes across as "masculine", it's a mind-set of this is me, draw your own conclusions as I am content and confident as I am without the need for others to validate my worth etc. Getting to this place is a process, but you know successful romantic relationships make all the difference as we become attuned in what we bring to the table that others benefit from coupled with knowing how our significant other sees us. This is more than enough validation of both our masculinity, but also and more importantly our worth. The other approach is mixing with other men, but personally I think romantic relationships develop us at depths and layers that lads nights out etc. don't. One last thing sharing our insecurities with those we trust whether it be on camera or face-to-face is a means of getting insecurities out of our heads where we can blow things totally out of proportion into the domain where we can gain first hand how others see us. As always much love and respect to you Dean. Hope this has been of some help etc. and perhaps it's time to focus less on past insecurities etc. and be more driven in what you want to achieve in life at a deeper level. ❤

[@Kovviestripsik]

Yep, weet je zeker of het geen hooikoorts is… Maar de verkoudheid of griep van de laatste tijd is ook best stevig. (Oh heb mijn kanaal veranderd, gr Arjan)

[@Daan_Spieard]

Hey! Nee, dit is wel echt een verkoudheidje 😪. Maar de hooikoorts zal er ook wel achteraan komen.. Ik zag je kanaal en weer een aantal uploads voorbij komen! Tof!

[@patrickfrericks8867]

Daan, you are a very handsome, kind and loving man. Our brains are rather biased and when we look at ourselves we see what our emotions are at that moment. Masculinity is defined by certain standards and is different all over the world. I see you as an Alpha male, strong, faithful, unyielding to adversity and a true protector, a man that will make his significant other always feel safe in his presence yet is not afraid to show gentleness, compassion and tenderness. Sorry for the ramble but I couldn't say what I wanted in a few words. You make me proud to have you in the same community!

[@Rose_Window]

It sounds like there is an uncertainty around your vulnerability showing through, and perhaps femininity feels vulnerable too because of unrealistic standards of masculinity? I guess I don't see femininity and masculinity as defining which boxes we fall into and I wonder what it is about femininity in you that feels scary or sad? Equally, I know what it feels like to want a more masculine presentation as I don't have that in my face at all yet. I feel I'll actually be able to connect to my femininity or a feminine aesthetic more once I feel more masculine in my body, and I wonder if it's entirely to do with your body or has something to do with gender identity too? As I'm feeling lately the difference between these two things - one is about how my body looks, the other is about my internal sense of self, but I recognise that you may just feel like these are aligned and are the same for you? It's just from when I heard you talk about all the parts of you that you still hold onto from before transition that are a big part of you. I remember I used to look in the mirror and think I was ugly, and years later, I don't think I'm ugly anymore. But I do desire a difference in my appearance. The feeling ugly came very much from the self loathing and insecurities I felt about who I was. Now I am more accepting and like who I am, so I see myself differently. I guess, is this a reflection at all of an inner part of you that feels vulnerable? Or is it purely that "I'm reminded that I used to have a recognisable 'female' body" and this brings up all the difficulties and dysphoric moments from the past as well as the present? I know you said you aren't responding to messages. I totally get that - I'm also studying and soooo busy, but I just wanted to offer my reflection and perception of this post and issue you're dealing with. ❤ Are Bastian's vulnerabilities things he learns to accept, challenge or overcome? What is protecting us, what is keeping us where it feels safe? And when does that hold us back or set us free? I hope you know that you're every bit a man without a penis.

[@Daan_Spieard]

Thank you, alway lovely to read your reflection ❤️

[@Rose_Window]

@@Daan_Spieard ❤️

[@sustainfem]

Hoping you start feeling better soon! Colds/flu are no fun for sure. Take gentle good care of yourself.

[@charlesnewell1014]

Dear Boy. You sound like this could be sinus problems. I'm a 75 year old cis-man but feelings are feelings . Don't be too hard on yourself.