Eliminate Ruminating Toxicity From Your Mind Caused By Narcissism. Release Your Anger Constructively

Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kar...
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[@TheEbryn]

when someone you love deeply secretly hates and disrespects you for having a open heart to be easily manipulated , it changes you.

[@lovelylinda8891]

Very well put!

[@lydiajoymcdowell-davis3390]

Oh my god, this just hit a nerve. So weird.

[@Missybella92227]

@@caligirl9403 Ex fiancé covert was constantly “one upping “ me. At the time of discard he succeeded on taking my identity.

[@danielcarrick8603]

I've had people ask me, "What are you going to do about what they did to you?! You need to pay them back!" I sit back, take a deep breath, look them in the eye and say, "Watch their lives become a veritable living hell on earth.....watch the net that they have spread for me catch their own feet....watch them reap what they've sown." Believe me when I say that I've watched people die, develop incurable diseases, stage 4 and 5 inoperable, incurable cancers, lose loved ones unexpectedly from an untimely death.....the list goes on and on and on. Abba never fails. Thank you Kevin! This was epic beyond words! I don't revel when I see these events unfold. I ask our heavenly Father to somehow use it to open their eyes and draw them to Him. Believe me, I've done this since becoming a believer and it never fails to come back to them. Ever. All I do is talk to Abba Father about it, and watch. Just watch. We serve such an awesome Elohim!

[@feminazislayer]

I always said " let their lives be their judgement "

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@salonsavy6476]

Great statement 👍

[@darkabratusa7211]

but we are struglling after and they enjoy no losses nothing

[@luc1d356]

@@darkabratusa7211 Everything will come in it's time. Or you just don't see it but trust me everyone will get everything they deserve in this life or the other one.

[@infinitetundra]

I have sadistic, murderous thoughts when I think of those Narcs. Usually I’m warm-hearted.

[@four-x-trading5606]

same here they make us think those things

[@jimneysweep9810]

Same . I’m very calm and kind to people but this is one Situation that makes me see a dark side that I never feel in any other part of my life what so ever

[@jimneysweep9810]

@P Ivan Sanchez exactly . It’s proper torture . I have grown up with a narcissistic parent but the narcissist I face now who is not a family member has now pushed me to want to harm them . I’m done with silent abuse and smear campaigns about me . I am trying to control my anger as I feel o reallly want to lash out so bad and am close to it

[@vmm5163]

@@jimneysweep9810 I felt like you, and just sometimes it still surfaces because I can't get back at them without getting into big trouble. So I know that the next best thing (really it's the *first* best thing, when you get over that anger stage) is to turn your back in a superior way. Narcissists have been hurt in the past by feeling ignored, unloved, invalidated, so *literally* turning your back gores them in their guts and reminds them of their deep seated failure as a human being. It hurts them worse than any anger you could throw at them, because it's part of their Schema (psychological term for how our personalities came about in childhood). You damage that fragile schema and they are the ones that start ruminating and trying to gain your attention, whilst you go off and do something nice. Your anger will stay with you a long time, but as long as you know there's another line of attack - in showing disinterest - you'll know you can achieve revenge by doing absolutely nothing! And it actually works👍👍👍

[@jimneysweep9810]

@@vmm5163 thank you my friend , you are right . I had to ignore a few narcs in the past but this one was harder , mayb I reached my end point of having them in my life anymore . I’m done with it and though I’m empathic I have had to learn to be a bit tougher . It makes sense what you say and it does work you are tight . I needed your reminder thank you . It truly is demonic and I believe mostly people that have survived narcissistic abuse truly understand what evil is . Yes they are wounded , however what they chose to do in that wound is nothing short of wicked and evil . Thank you my friend , all the best

[@craig3714]

The narcissist needs to get outta my head tired of the distraction Kevin .

[@TheRoyalWe]

Right, i hope this helps. It worked for me.

[@cymandybro9519]

I wish I could have heard this message months ago. The thoughts are less. I am now hardly thinking the thoughts. Hang in there Craig. At least we feel!

[@josephinestone8404]

Hi Kevin, teachers and co-workers thought I was autistic, distracted, and a slow learner. Ha!

[@bluegirl6262]

I have been enjoying your videos for only a short time and I am making my way to the beginningof your channel. I really like the Biblical ways of looking at some of these character flaws and my own as I not only research verses/stories for myself but I am more able to do some self reflection and with less judgment cast at any of us.

[@Darkhorse09er]

love to you brother. It's difficult I know. Kevin has helped me a ton

[@febejames8529]

The most debilitating feeling is people telling you to 'get over it'. I told my husband the other day, 'everyone is telling me to get over it, but no-one tells me how.' I even asked the person, 'So tell me how. What are the tools to 'get over it'? I'm still waiting for that answer. It's so hypocritcal to tell someone else to do something you don't know how to do. So, once again, thank you Kevin. These vids are my lifeline.🥰

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑🧡

[@sarahcollier9535]

ugh this so much!! Quora and online groups are so validating in this way - :)

[@yvettevernet4759]

Another thing they say "it happened such a long time ago so why can't you get over it?"Those people oviously have not experienced narcissistic abuse.

[@dity9442]

@@yvettevernet4759 Oh my gosh! I hate it when people say crap like that. Nobody tells the narcissist to get over their petty messed up selves, yet we have to get over the damage they did to us

[@yvettevernet4759]

@@dity9442 Yes, it is the same when people tell you that you should "forgive" things done to you that are unforgivable,why should you "forgive"? And if you forgive, not another word is ever said about the perpetrators,they get off scots free! Unbelievable! I wonder where the tendency of our society to blame the victims and give free passes to the narcs stems from?

[@slestage5725]

I have been angry for two years, I used it to learn how to play drums.

[@karenzilverberg4699]

Thanks for the extremely important teachings. "Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by in safety." Psalm 141:10

[@brigettereissig5254]

AMEN SISTER!!!

[@ashleylarsen5294]

I used to be very angry and I acknowledged that. After doing some good healing work..my anger became sadness. After some more healing..I would say now I am just disappointed I don’t get the family I always hoped I could have. But I’m working towards the disappointment disappearing and turning into motivation to find my tribe, my people who will reciprocate my love and make me the best version of myself.

[@ROM.1089]

@ashley thank you I'm going through that still I think it's going to take awhile to wish it wouldn't I'm 50 it takes its toll, good for you that's my hope next, to allow love in my life but it's okay to accept before it's too late

[@Stardust475]

I think I'm going through this, too. The losses are great, and I am working through that sadness.

[@thetheraine]

Let the fullest calamities of their lives, fall on all their heads... yyeesss : )

[@TheRoyalWe]

It will happen 💯👑

[@laurac.9322]

I love that..im going to use that from now on. Im going to start with my sons murderers that are still waiting for sentencing...they keep postponing the trial dates this has been going on for 2 long.long years. My son would have been 29.

[@thetheraine]

@@laurac.9322 - Love and Blessings to you Laura and 'your son'... may you both find peace...

[@123raven4]

@@laurac.9322 I am so sorry for your loss!!!! Sending love and prayers your way!!!!🛐❤

[@maryrosario2612]

It drives me crazy, I want to break that record in my head!

[@ShiaGirl18]

It's one of the most annoying things!

[@homosapianlad3185]

It will with time trust me

[@cherylharris6312]

Narcissist at work is loud and sounds like a broken record repeating same things over and over, annoying. Female narcissist who thinks everyone whats to hear her big mouth. It's so disrespectful to other people to push you're opinions and loudness onto everyone else. Some people see it as funny , guess they are attracted to evil people. Maybe she won't seem as funny when they are insulted, falsely accused, and devalued. They seem blind to what is actually going on. Notice some at work don't talk to me anymore , don't care, was never a friend anyway. Is it better to be in this mindset? Peace and God Bless.🙏☺

[@JoseGarcia-zm1ej]

@@cherylharris6312 i

[@larrywhittemore9362]

Time and distraction will cure that problem....

[@thetheraine]

true... if I talk to 'friends' (of which there are none) about life long abuse... and I mean life long, continual abuse and disrespect from so many people. All they do is just tell me to forget about it, which leads me to believe that they have never experienced any abuse, because if they had, they would know the issues involved in dealing with it. They usually reply with a story of a one off event of abuse they've experienced, as if to say, that equates to your abuse... sorry... it doesn't even come close to one day I've endured...

[@craig3714]

Same here

[@WaveDancer426]

Thanks for this comment. I can relate. I’m sick and tired of the same situations just different relationships. 🤮💔I’m the child of an alcoholic. I ignore red flags because I want to see the good in people. I give too much benefit and not enough doubt. 💔I also am very responsible and somehow these abusers see me as someone who should be responsible for their emotions too 😰like it’s written on my forehead. 🥺

[@thetheraine]

@@WaveDancer426 - hello... like you, I'm very responsible and I also want to see the good in people and I like helping people, but I was never taught anything basically and certainly never taught how to set boundaries...I thought being a good friend or family member was putting up 'with their shit' and then helping them constantly... because that is what you have to do in relationships, if you care about someone. But all that did was let them continuously shit on me and never show me any respect... I just became their punching bag... never literally thank the Lord... but emotionally and psychologically they beat me up continuously... I went no contact 10 years ago and now I'm bogged down in their shit ... STILL... I've often thought that... do I have a neon flashing sign on my forehead... LOSER... ABUSE ME... No family member, or friend or partner or stranger has ever really respected me or cared about me. They say that we replay our family relationships over and over.... what an effing nightmare...I suppose we will keep doing it until we learn something... respect ourselves, don't be too trusting, test people, set boundaries, don't ignore red flags etc. We can be kind, helpful and loving people... but we must not let other's stand over us or use us. I can't assert myself at all or show anger to other's, but I'm starting to a little bit... Blessings and Love Wave Dancer... we are healing... slowly, but surely... I think talking about it all really helps... I've never be HEARD... and being heard is necessary... : )

[@blackbutterflyart]

Perfect timing 💞

[@kerrynicholls3435]

Hey The Raine, hang in there babe. Life will get better when you listen to Kevin re anger, know what triggers you, notice red flags and use them as real danger signals - risks to your mental health - not just to your physical health. You clearly have what is called a complex (ie long term) post traumatic stress state of heart and mind tight now, but you can move beyond it. Richard Grannon is another excellent and humorous healing mentor, if you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I’d thoroughly recommend him. Also fascinating is Sam Vaknin, the original authentic expert on NPD, and what’s fascinating with him, is he is also one- a self professed “narc”( a cerebral covert style of narc), so he has true insight, as well as fact based information based on studies of thousands of narcs and their families and associates over many years. You are not alone. Reach out for help. If you can’t afford it, study it for free on You Tube and move forward in love, not hate and set clear boundaries by saying “no”, “talk to the hand” to other narcs. Stay safe. God Bless you hun.

[@sharonkamp9272]

don't become a victim! Be proud that you left the person who abused you. See it for what it is. Heal yourself and do your best to love yourself. You yourself are the most important person in your life. No matter what anybody does or says. I know what the impact is of abuse. I know what the impact is of longtime abuse. It is about not having the right tools in your own toolbox to be able to overcome and grow. So: stay away from toxic people. They are broken and want to break you, so they are not alone. Leave them. It is their distorted view on love. Not yours. You can overcome!! By giving yourself the greatest gift of all: Selflove! And it takes time and hard work. And even a period of rumination before you choose you!!! And then your live is changing. Because then you attract the right people in your live. Take the responsibility for your own actions and words and thoughts. Choose loving thoughts and stay away from the negative. God bless you all!

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@spiralsun1]

Thank you for your wisdom and being YOU. ❤️🙏🏻

[@annettecook7213]

I so agree with your comment. Learning to love yourself after being groomed to accept poor treatment and having life sucked out of you is a process. It takes a concerted effort to want to be well and it can happen. I am in my 70's and in all my life I can only now say that I am happy because my happiness matters. Blessings, peace and joy to you Sharon

[@sharonkamp9272]

annette cook 🙏🏼❤️

[@paul2019monte]

@@annettecook7213 nice! 🥰💜

[@harleyquinn5774]

I think my rumination has become about keeping myself in a mental and physical state of hyper anticipation of encountering ambush style Narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse in the family, "friends", love life. I don't know how to come down from this state of keeping myself hyper vigilant and mentally prepared to emotionally, verbally, and physically defend myself.

[@QuietStorm-on2to]

Thank you for sharing that. Rumination feels like it has a mind of it's own to me.😐 But I refuse to give up the fight! So many people ( both MEN & WOMEN) have successfully made it through the 'other side' of this EXTREMELY painful abuse. They taught me so much about toxic personalities. I also learned that the cycle of abuse is the same worldwide. I just have to continue to practice putting the tools that I've learned to use. When I feel overwhelmed & I want to hide inside the house; I MAKE myself go for a walk. I say a prayer & I practice my breathing while getting fresh air. The more that I HAVE to interact with people, the more practice I'm getting. I see myself changing. I'm DETERMINED to get to the other side! I'm going to learn how to have a healthier relationship with ME ( 1st) and then l am going to CHOOSE healthier relationships. And so will ALL OF YOU! 🌿 (Baby steps y'all).🌿

[@christinam777]

I've not been more angry with a person in my life (and I've had bad stuff happen to me from other things in life) than this narcissist. I was so deeply grieved with what he did to me and took from me and caused me. This man pretended to be a man of God. I was so deeply angry I saw some dark murderous feelings come up in me. I really had to take it to God. Im doing much better and I dont feel the need for retribution anymore. God will handle it.

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑🧡 yes

[@salonsavy6476]

Your story is my story,,, god bless u 🙏🙏

[@JameSSpeedCo]

My heart goes out to u Christina. Have the same experience, and the same anger, yet, it is without end as my narc is the mother of my children and I can’t seem to be done with being exposed constantly. We will get thru. That prayer, “May the FULL horror of their actions fall upon their heads,” is helping me allow my anger to be...fully justified and acknowledged.

[@JameSSpeedCo]

annette cook thank u Annette. Fellowship among survivors is so important, lest we fall back into the same emotional traps of these parasites. Stay strong and let’s keep moving forward

[@annettecook7213]

P Ivan Sanchez From a young age my safe place was at church. I loved being amongst God's people. While it was my refuge, it didn't help build healthy boundaries in my life. TRWe has helped understand the destructive power of toxic behaviour. Anger and venting has been very therapeutic. Allowing narcs to steamroll through my life doesn't happen anymore

[@krisharvey772]

Squashed ANGER!!! To abuse anyone is unbelievable. To abuse someone with a traumatic brain injury is beyond EVIL!! This is what I can’t get anyone to understand and may be why I continue to ruminate. Thanks for explaining this! 💚💜

[@cr3062]

How I got out of this was by blasting my mind with information on narcissism. I took notes on everything I heard and read. I carried one notebook around with like medicine for about 8 months. If my mind even started to take me that roller coaster ride, I'd go over the nuggets of truth I had written down. It kept me in reality...the Truth worked out the kinks. It takes effort on our part, but it is so worth it.

[@cr3062]

@Pedro Ivan Sanchez I wrote down everything that resonated with me that I read or heard. If I read something in a book I was studying that stood out to me I wrote it down. Nuggets of truth which exposed the narcissists around me and people with traits and it gave my mind something to grab onto until my emotions came back inline. Cognitive dissonance splits you in two...your mind pulling you one direction, your emotions in another. I also got some insight into some Bible incidents regarding this topic..Simon the sorcerer in Acts. That one man held a nation under his spell until Phillip came and preached the Truth with signs following..the people dropped Simon that day and followed the teachings of Jesus..Simon attached himself to Phillip..leadership. becuz narcs don't have the power of love they have they have the love of power and control. Simon even got baptized..what an act.. It wasn't until Peter arrived to help the people receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit that Simon's heart was exposed as being in the gall of bitterness, a Bond of iniquity to fetter souls. (A soul destroyer) he was told to repent or else. It doesn't say he repented but it does say everyone else moved on in joy..and that's what we should do too.

[@cr3062]

@Pedro Ivan Sanchez Ok...I work two jobs..so if i dont answer right away..thats why. Happy to help.

[@cr3062]

@Pedro Ivan Sanchez Here's some books I've read on narcissism. Knowledge is King where this topic is concerned. Here are some more good reads.. 1. In Sheeps Clothing by George Simon 2. Psychoath free by McKenzie 3. When Love is a Lie by Zari Ballard 4. Emotional Vampires by Bernstein 5. The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg 6. It's All About Him How to Identify and Avoid a Narcissist Before You Get Hurt by Lisa E Scott 7. Narcissistic Lovers by Zane and Kevin Dibble 8. Narcissist Exposed 75 things narcissists don't want you to know by Drew Keys. 9. 202 Ways to Spot a Psychopath in Personal Relationships by AB Admin 10. Psychopath and Love by AB Admin. 11. 30 Covert Emotional Manipulator Tactics on kindle...very good! 12. Malignant Self Love by Sam Valkin 13. Dark Psychology 101 14. Dark Psychology 202 15. From Charm to Harm by Gregory Zaffuto Learn their tactics so you can spot them. Evil often hides behind honorable titles..such as Mom or Dad or police or doctor, anywhere there is a hierarchy of power or something to be gained. The whole toxic "Family" title is a hard hurdle to get over until you realize they are who and what they are and aren't likely to change. To get free from narcissists you need a steady stream of information about it. It's renewing your mind to the truth of the matter and staying out of emotional, sentimental thinking. I listened to alot of youtube video's also and I watched alot of Bob larson deliverance videos..It would be nice to quote a few scriptures and be done with but that's not how spiritual warfare always works...you need a steady dose of Truth. The stronger you become in the truthyou hear, the stronger you will become and freer! Jude warns about these people, 2 Peter talks about them, the book of acts talks about Simon the sorcerer..Proverbs talks about the wicked and what they do.Smakintosh on youtube made alot of video's from a Christian point of view that are good..check out his channel. I studied all of this and took alot of notes...in the beginning with tears coming down my face...but determined to keep going! It worked I'm free and the narcs are gone! You willbe too.

[@christinamessina8417]

@Pedro Ivan Sanchez Trust Jesus and pray and He will hear you. You don’t need a specific prayer. Speak from your heart and He hears you. Like the previous woman said the KZbin channel called smakintosh is very good he provides scriptures that apply to narcissism. His channel has helped me so much.

[@ScorpionMaiden75]

Amen!!! Hallelujah praise the Lord God Almighty!!! Thank you Jesus!!! I am free ❤🙏🔥👑🔥🙏❤

[@stevebennett166]

Forgiveness is freeing. Leave the narcissist in God’s hands. Not easy, but absolutely necessary.

[@beckypeterson6771]

Needed this! As I'm cleaning my house I find myself arguing with him, my kids must think I'm nuts. One time I took my kids on a weekend getaway to a water park and I just spent hours on the lazy river arguing with him in my head, pleading my case trying to think of all the different ways I could say how I felt in a way he would actually understand. every once in a while I would realize that what I was doing and try to snap out of it but it was like it was out of my control.

[@TheRoyalWe]

It does seem out of your control. But, it’s really not. Your processing

[@eringrey9297]

I don’t feel so alone. I constantly do this - play the scenario over and over and say things out loud that I could’ve/should’ve said. Or randomly say “I just don’t understand.”

[@tinakaczmarczyk1975]

So true! No one tells you how. I even have dreams of myself defending myself to the narcissist. No contact helps. I am healing. I was angry at myself for letting it happen! A priest told me that my cousin/ narcissist was my enemy and to pray for her but to stay away from her! That was a game changer. No more jealousy, condescension, belittling, chaos and judgement. I can now establish my self esteem in Jesus and love myself. May her chaos fall upon her head and may she really come to Christ and abandoned her Pharisee religious pretentions.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Took me a long time to realize they know it and explaining it to them is giving them supply. They know. No need to explain anything. They don't care and won't addmit it.

[@laurastrong727]

Thank you I needed that. It is so hard to let go. Just when I think I have it comes back.

[@TheRoyalWe]

It’s okay to be angry

[@quirkyCourtney]

You’re a Christian!!! I just made the decision to permanently let go of my relationship with my narcissistic dad yesterday and it has felt like a true death. I have hoped and prayed and fasted for reconciliation and healing for most of my adult life. It has been a hope that has really kept me stuck and unable to move on and wholeness in a lot of ways. I have wanted to honor my father and in the Bible it talks about how “love always hopes“…I have been grieving so deeply and trying to listen to videos to distract myself today. It is very comforting to hear from someone who has like minded beliefs on this mysterious topic!

[@oscarwilliamson6163]

Courtney Blair Reed,You don't need a narcissist in your life......

[@nekzasl6137]

I HATE how insecure i was and how i didn't love myself enough back Then. I would have invested so much time in my own growth. Now, i'm reclaming my Time and purpose .

[@marthabenefield634]

You did not live and will not live a peaceful life as long as you associated,or associate with a narcissist,or narcissist People.There are wonderful people out there just like you. Seek and you will find.You are here they are to look carefully.1good person ,is worth more than 100 bass ones. God bless you in your new life. Martha.

[@DeniseBabbit]

Thank you, Kevin. I needed to hear this. I let my narc mother know how wicked she was, and told her to seek Jesus before she dies. I escaped, and moved across the country. My entire family is narcissistic. I don't know how I made it out without becoming one of them. I have a lot of suppressed anger, and a lot of buried emotions that I wasn't allowed to express. I appreciate your messages. They truly help with healing.

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑🧡

[@salonsavy6476]

God bless you Denise ,, I feel the exact way !,,,

[@foxiefair123]

Amen.

[@So-in5xi]

Me too, my whole family and I moved across the country too.

[@crystalwalker2124]

Wow! This really helped today. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis I'm told it comes from traumatic childhood experience. My dad was a Narcissist my mom an Empath. He was very mentally and physically abusive needless to say I married an mentally abusive person unbeknownst to me! I thought he was my savior who would protect me! Over the years he became my worst enemy! 💔I have lost everything he has tried to destroy me. I have learned never to put anyone or anything before God ever again I didn't realize that's what I did. I'm starting all over but I'm free thankful 🙏 as this divorce becomes final no contact. Let's continue to support one another in these wicked days!

[@dbabbit5286]

I told the narc egg bearer that she was Satan's Spawn, and that I hoped she found Jesus before she died, because she was an old woman and didn't have much time. When she told me that she was going to pray for me, I told her she worshipped Satan, and not to mention my name to him. The mask fell off, and her eyes turned black. Her hated was so visible that it scared me. That's the last conversation we had. I've been NC for 20 months, and now trying to deal with how my deceased dad treated me. I'm confused, because I was raised during the time that children were seen and not heard, so I always felt invisible. God help any child who questioned their parents back in the '60s & '70s! Even the law was set up for abuse, since it was allowable to beat your children until they literally could not sit down. 😡

[@Christian_1980]

I just woke this morning from these vivid dreams about the toxic family. They were right up in my face. But I won't be ruminating, keep walking.

[@miraclesforus2]

Check out smackintosh. He discuss es this strictly from biblics1 perspective.

[@Christian_1980]

@@miraclesforus2 thank you. Very good. I needed this.

[@miraclesforus2]

ThatChristianguy..also..check out R.E. Dossett,my favorite and Wakeman on narcissism..utubes. I cannot express my gratitude to these people for the incredible wisdom they disseminate. Be blessed. SMakintosh on utube hasn.t posted in awhile but if you spend time watching his many posts you will acquire incredible knowledge. Susan

[@Christian_1980]

@@miraclesforus2 God bless you Susan. My name is Christian. Thank you

[@miraclesforus2]

ThatChristianGuy...you are most welcome. I.m a 63yr old woman who came to Christ at 55 after several encounters with the living God. You will not learn the depth of this spiritual warfare from the Babylonian pagan churches. I cannot stress enough the wisdom you will acquire from these facilitators. Be blessed Brother in Jesus name

[@taylorheidi39]

God says not to deny anyone their hardships because it brings them closer to him. So pray those things that Kevin mentioned and pray they are not happy or comfortable in anything that is not pleasing to God. I even pray that for myself.

[@hjf2bme]

I don’t want to pray harm for him. 😢 I want to pray that he gets the help he needs. 🙏 I will give him the dignity to hit his own bottom. 🤕 And in hitting his bottom he will see all the calamity he has caused. I have to daily get on my knees and ask for the obsession and desire for this unhealthy relationship to be removed from my mind as I do what I need to do to get the mental strength to protect myself against the spiritual mental warfare he has and will try to cause. 🧎‍♀️🙏🤦‍♀️💪🤬🧐🌞💃🎉

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑🧡

[@hjf2bme]

@P Ivan Sanchez is like to know Kevin’s opinion on praying for evil people.

[@ShiaGirl18]

I've always questioned why I should not acknowledge my feelings. I had a case where I didn't know how to release my anger and I felt something heavy on my chest for weeks! The only way it was released was speaking about how I truly felt. I DO NOT want to go back there. I would not wish that on anyone.

[@TheRoyalWe]

Yes, really feeling our anger allows us to build solid boundaries against ever going back

[@laurac.9322]

After hearing this...i looked in the mirror and said out loud i give you permission to be angry to just at least acknowledge it..so i did and just about immediately...i felt very relieved like something heavy left my body. Maybe thats all i needed to do.

[@ShiaGirl18]

@@laurac.9322 Praise the Lord! It's a blessing when that heaviness is lifted off your chest. Thank you for sharing!

[@exposingfalseteacherreneer6821]

I was in a "fight" with the religious Narcissist I once had in my life FIVE YEARS after I kicked her out of my life! I couldn't stop arguing with her, STILL telling HER OFF in my mind! Lol. Fortunately NOW I am experiencing freedom from the thoughts, but it's a rough road to KEEP HEARING the names she called me and false accusations she hurled at me...

[@kynathomas4809]

I know exactly what you mean. I knew a religious narcissist woman like that. I exposed her and she then started to threaten me.smh!

[@spiralsun1]

Oh my god this was my life. My entire life. Then I learned. Triggered into anger but not being able to express it. Obsessive ruminations on my own feelings and thoughts. Yup. Thanks for this.

[@1lif2liv]

Nailed it. Empaths subjected to this abuse internalize and develop disease.

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

DON’T BE ANGRY? No no ! ! It is a way to let steam out ! You are right ! 3:50

[@billv.6046]

I recall that in the excellent movie "Ordinary People", the first thing the psychiatrist found he had to do with the poor teenage kid, with the narcisssistic mom, was to get him to release his anger. It took some goading and prodding on by the p-doc (played by Judd Hirch). But finally the kid exploded, and all this foul-mouthed hatred he'd been holding in came out---on the psychiatrist! And that was what he wanted. He congratulated his patient, because it was a breakthrough moment.

[@janiceholland2105]

(Janice) I am elderly. All my savings went into finally buying a home. The narc controlled and mismanaged our funds for 51 yrs and caused the loss of various homes we tried to own. It was suggested that I leave him. But, I have nowhere to go. And, I can't leave behind my home for him to neglect and squander. And, I can't live on my social security. I am losing my mind in the house with him. I am trapped (I have no transportation) and severely, dangerously depressed. I need a miracle. Do you all believe in prayer? Please pray.

[@danielbeasley5247]

so glad i found this channel. so good to have someone who understands how to put into words these complicated things, especially the idea of false narratives, thats exactly what im unlearning at the moment

[@kellyannespirithealing42]

My narcissistic boyfriend, I hate him. I truly absolutely hate him. I broke it off with him today because I hate him so much it’s so overwhelming. I can’t handle the burden of this hatred. I told him to leave me alone for good. And I need him to leave me alone in my head. He wasted enough of my time.

[@maedrosbott5274]

I spent nearly four years being angry and taking it out on my loved ones, my wife and my kids (terrible!); in the end the change came when my 11 year old daughter gave me a look that I recognized, its the same look that I had growing up...it cut me and I changed. If this anger is not correctly handled it will turn us into the abuser. The strategy I used was to pray for the abuser, as I did this: the Spirit filled me with the correct feelings and I wept and my heart began to change.

[@user-kq4kd8be2t]

I have reached a stage of my understanding of dealing with narcissists that now when I encounter one I can truly see how lost and pathetic they are. This has helped me a great deal with lessoning my anger and ruminating about what they may have to me in the past. My previous intense anger has helped me firm up my boundaries and as a result I no longer feel intimidated by them. I've never felt stronger and freer in myself.

[@Jennifer-di4nl]

I was never allowed to have emotions. Anger was the most taboo. Only my parents (narcissists) were allowed to have anger or ANY emotion. It's so difficult now to allow myself to have emotions it has ruined all my relationships in one way or another. It's made me passive aggressive. I wanted to make an edit (an important one!) GUILT was an emotion I was ALLOWED and even encouraged to have...shame as well. Now it's all I feel.

[@scottmcgowan7450]

Thanks Kevin. I made a recent vow to stop watching your videos as good as they are - in order to stop dwelling on the issue of narcissism and what I've been through. I just got the notification and I'm making an exception because this is EXACTLY what I need to deal with now. I've worked through a lot, but certainly not all of the anger since going no contact with my father and brother 5 months ago, but the ruminating is still going on for sure. I agree that it's normal to feel angry. I've released a lot of it and not judged myself for the anger I've felt. I'ts normal to be angry for being abused and mistreated.

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@dadbodofgaming]

Dude I can thank you enough. My mother torture and lorded over me, turned a blind eye to the sexual abuse I received, always pitted me against my sister and friends(certainly doesn’t feel good when my mother puts her arm around my sister and says,”this is my greatest work of art”), belittled me, etc then she took her own life. I was 40 when I could finally admit I didn’t deserve any of it.

[@ROM.1089]

😢😢so sorry luv💔

[@Samantha-ho4hv]

❤

[@sage_forensics_2261]

God's punishment is greater and more appropriate than any revenge I could ever dream of...that's what I have told myself over the years, and it is helpful as a reminder during those rough times. Thinking like this helps me to acknowledge my anger without making it the central focus of my life. I don't want THEM to take up any more space or time than they already have, so I feel the anger when it comes--scream, cry, and grieve if I need to. However, revenge is a dark place I don't want to go. They must ask for forgiveness from God--not me b/c No Contact--or they will answer to Him after they die. That's what I believe.

[@suzanneadamson1306]

TY! I'm sick of this "forgiveness" sh*t!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Forgiveness is for you... not them. It’s so you can move on.

[@Eyeshaveit]

I was married to a narc for 35 years. It took 30 years to figure it out. I divorced him 5 years ago, and still have anger. Its a deep down anger that doesn't affect me in any way. I can't stand the site of the man. He discusts me. And my daughter too. She is also a narc. I just figured out that she is one too. I went no contact with my ex. But I talk to my daughter only because I won't be able to see my grandkids if I don't.

[@thetheraine]

a great quote from a Denzel Washington movie that I just watched... Equalizer 2. " - there are 2 kinds of pain in this world, pain that hurts and pain that alters'" ... and that is what has been done to us...

[@TheRoyalWe]

Yes. Pain that alters

[@vickywright9497]

This is the video I needed this morning! I have been dealing with how to get through dealing with a narcissistic mom and brother. When I woke up this morning my head was hurting and my legs and back. I had to take something for acid reflux. They have absolutely worn me out and I have to move on somehow. My health is not good because of the last few months. I have followed you for weeks now and thank goodness I found your channel. I will survive in time...

[@tarasapone7150]

Name calling bulleying!!!! I'm CRYING!!!! It's NOT inside my head! There is NO way for my REAL ANGER to leave being my fun of ALL of the time!!!! Let it go....... Your anger! WORST advice ever!!!! Don't be angry? Anger is a natural emotion! Amen! Great advice!

[@tarasapone7150]

The slander the ENTITY is attacking me in a room!.....I have squashed anger that's in a steampot that I'm NOT allowed to express! I'm crying ALL of the time!

[@tarasapone7150]

This entity DEMON who happens to be in human form is attacking me right now & I HOPE you PRAY with me! Dearest Lord Heavenly Father Please take away all of the SUPER NEGATIVE ABUSE & replace them with the Peace that Passes ALL Understanding by the Precious Sacred Powerful blood of Jesus who is God who conquers the wickedness in heavenly realms found in Ephesians 6: 10 Please Sir I hope you agree with me in prayer I'll pray again! This demon ENTITY has really attacked me with HORRIFYING disrespect of SO MUCH EVIL! I'm praying in another comment & HOPE YOU AGREE IN PRAYER!

[@tarasapone7150]

Unfortunately Sir I did put you down but being killed with insult's in the spiritual realm by a SUPER DEMON ENTITY, I hope you read my prayer & agree with it!

[@tarasapone7150]

I have WORSE than panic attacks I go into numbness CR

[@mjmcneilrobinson5551]

There are many who are experiencing this right now in real time. It's biblical to ask for prayer coverings and be release from these demonic attacks because thats all it is, when you boil it down. But please don't forget in all the confusion of the battlefield the authority YESHUAS death and Resurrection open to you HIS BELOVED, the ARMOR of GOD was given to us for very practical reasons. Which seems very distant to those who've been battered bullied and put through an emotional wood chipper by those who have a demonic narcissistic spirit. But don't give up read the PSALM for starters and take them to heart the real damage that can ravage and destroy the spiritual elements, principalities and rulers in high places of a Dark World is warfare prayer. King David asked the King of Kings and and Lord of Lords to teach his fingers to war to give him the agility to spring over barriers ect, get in there and decimate the enemy at their Nativity which means right in their own home base. If YOU are a child of the MOST HIGH GOD go after it and let the scriptures be your guide and if you are not you need to be. The Lord permitted righteous anger but do not sin if you do it the biblical way there will be no sin involved but you'll be taking their wicked evil intent for you and turning at back on them seven fold decimating their wicked evil bodies into the grave again if you handle it spiritually there is victory . The. End time church??? Of these last days need to adopt a spiritual militant attitude toward evil it should start out " who do you think you're pushing around" how dare you, you loser, and you can finish the declaration...??? Remember the Lord appointed HIS church to make HIS enemies HIS footstool. Not the other way around.

[@rebeccanetherland1155]

WOW---Amazing----you just answered it!!!! KING DAVID........Yes........YOU ARE HELPING SO MANY PEOPLE WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE ! God says Without Knowledge---MY PEOPLE---Perish.... Thank You so much ROYAL WE....GOD is sooo Pleased with How--YOU are helping many many many people...... LOVELY Work-ur dOING--MAY I SAY FOR THE KINGDOM of GOD!!! Its RELEASING!!4 the mind & soul......Love to You--in my Spirit....

[@joannthornton8584]

Needed this because iam so angry iam physically sick I do have gout!!! Iam praying GOD will heal me from this !!! It’s not fair that I have to go through this disease on top of the abuse I put up with narcissistic mother and husband!soon I hope ex husband! I am so angry I can’t sleep or eat !!! Too many things to mention has happened to me with this man! He has ruined our family! And our marriage and our financial future!! Some times I don’t even want to be here anymore!! Thank you for your video !!! GOD BLESS!!!

[@Vicky14ist]

Kevin, going along with your same thought, would say that the “constructive” anger is what the Bible calls justifiable indignation. It is there to alarm us that something is not in our best interest.

[@TheRoyalWe]

Yes righteous indignation 💯👑

[@markhannay7586]

Maria B a very wise answer😊

[@Vicky14ist]

Mark hannay Thank you, Mark.

[@markhannay7586]

Maria B You are welcome, glad you know what you know. Not easy to learn this. We all should be thankful for being taught these hard truths cause we become better individuals in the process. That’s the good that comes out of this and then we’re able to help others👍

[@Vicky14ist]

Mark hannay Yes, true. We can use our traumatic experiences in positive ways to help others.

[@emmarae4322]

The ruminating is the worst.😢 “Let it go…” not that easy.

[@frj1704]

God bless you and thank you, Kevin! I’m currently in the early stages of recovery from years of familial narcissistic abuse. Your thorough grasp of Scriptural truth is brilliant. May the Lord continue to bless and empower you as you help others heal from this awful, lonely and confusing pain.

[@alleycatiron4395]

Nobody understood, I went crazy and lost almost everything. Thank you for saying that it is real because it is. It's debilitating and unbelievably exhausting. I turned to alcohol and drugs and that worked for years until it just didn't anymore. Then I had three problems. My family bailed and I had no way to cope. Found myself climbing a bridge at night drunk. I'm an ironworker so being at heights is calming to me. I stood there wondering if I would feel it when I hit the rocks. I don't know why I didn't jump. I wanted to so bad. I don't want to die but I don't want to be here anymore, I've had enough. This was yesterday, I act fairly normal at work but inside im on fire

[@debbiepolachek3292]

Everytime I feel the anger towards him, it feels wonderful and I feel powerful. Then I feel shame inside of me for feeling it. Then it's gone.Then I'm shame of myself for feeling angry.

[@lindseybaines9701]

I wish I felt angry. But here I lay, filled with anxiety after the silent treatment. Like I don't exist after all I've done. I have to go to work soon and I've slept two hours. My heart is even starting to hurt. The anxiousness and sadness is what gets me.

[@michelecommisso7535]

Thank you kevin, GOD IS USEING YOU!! I TOTALLY NEEDED THIS!! I just REALIZED IM ANGRY ABOUT MY FAMILY!! THERE MONSTERS!! AND I WAS GOING TO CONFRONT THEM, BUT HOLY SPIRIT CHANGED MY MIND!! I just find myself doing what you SAID IM SLOWLY SEPARATEING MYSELF FROM THEM! UNFORTUNATELY I LIVE WITH THEM, BUT IT CAN BE DONE!! GOD JUST PUT A JOB IN MY LIFE THAT I HAVE LONG HOURS, SO IM NOT IN THERE TOXIC ENVIRONMENT! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU!!

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑🧡

[@msdemeanour]

Thank you for this video. I did years of boxing, hoping to get rid of all the anger, but it's still in there. It's hard to forgive evil people.

[@coreyanderson1457]

When I left a narc in the past, I didn't have any anger really after I left. Although I did remember that I should not go back. And because he was my ex I couldn't go completely no contact. But I can see how someone would be angry if they are constantly dealing with a narc, and I think that we are told don't ever get mad. But it isn't realistic. So figure out ways now to deal with it in a healthy way, especially if you can't leave yet due to having nowhere to go and no money.

[@tinavestal2154]

It's a catch-22, if you're angry, you're accused of sinning by anger, if you're silent, you're accused of clinging to bitterness. The best you can do is go forward...and don't look back.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

You can’t deal with the anger because the cause of it - the narc - will do anything to block, deny and devolve the very construction that is needed BECAUSE of them - they won’t allow you to question why they did it - that’s what drives victims to such anger

[@covert_warrior]

"It's all in your head" is one of my favorites

[@ROM.1089]

@covert oh yeah it's all in my head I'm making it up I'm crazy, I imagine that crap

[@izawaniek2568]

Anger helps us break free from the chains we have been tied by. I do not want to have anything to do with the narcisists. The mere thought of their lifestyle with drinking, lying, manipulating and putting on shows where there are no authentic people but actors makes me feel sick to my core. Enough of that nonsense zombie kind of existence. These people are living dead. There is no life force in them. Thank you Kevin for your great analysis.

[@lizmstate]

You really were there. I haven’t heard anyone nail this so perfectly. You know exactly what it feels like. I feel validated for the first time since I left 2 years ago. Panic attacks, heart problems, headache. Thank you.

[@deedahl2866]

Very good! Anger can be very motivating but must be used properly, and it's our CHOICE on how to use it!

[@oscarwilliamson6163]

Dee dahl,You are beautiful,Hope you are not with a narcissist......

[@maryam-rx2hu]

This is a miracle to find wonderful people who turn on a beautiful light in the heart . Thank you so much 💗🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@donnafoley2167]

I've always thought of my anger as an alarm. Someone is causing me hurt and my alarm goes off. I'm learning everyday how to curb anger. It isn't easy. GOD is right there to help and he does!🤗

[@shannonbrown560]

Yes Kevin it hurts like hell

[@thetheraine]

I haven't had a life...it has been stolen and frozen...having said that... there are still pleasant moments... but lots of ruminating and stress and anxiety... but slowly... since I haven't spoken to any of them for 10 years... very slowly... I am seeing that maybe I can let it go... I will never get any closure or satisfaction or revenge... just hoping that God takes care of them with the fullest of calamities falling on their heads... my new 'catch phrase'... The Royal We... : )

[@Iulia958]

I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been left unspoken, no one wanted to hear me out because my narc sis has had all under her spell right before I even knew she spoke to everyone. That ruminating is really like feeling stuck

[@thetheraine]

@@Iulia958 - yeah, you wake up and try to think good, beautiful, grateful thoughts... and within a few minutes... it's just the same old unresolved shit going around and around... Like attracts like, the people that were under your sisters spell are people just like her, wanting to abuse someone, because they are weak pathetic people... Blessings and love... : )

[@Vicky14ist]

Sorry to hear that. I just left a 19 year toxic husband. I know this has changed and marked my life and that of my children, but pray that time will help us to heal at least to some degree.

[@thetheraine]

@@Vicky14ist - just like wounds, they heal... but the scars remain for life, they might fade slowly over time... but they are still there...

[@Vicky14ist]

thetheraine Yes. I agree.

[@Jezebel066]

I was so manipulated. He threatened to leave me bc I didn’t trust him. Bc i didn’t think he was a good person. So I was always trying to prove I trusted him by never asking where he was or what he was doing. I feared he would divorce me. I didn’t point out how bad behavior bc I didn’t want him to say o thought he was bad so we can’t be together. I am reliving my marriage but seeing it clearly. I get so mad I can’t stand to be in my skin. I go back in time & I tell him how I feel & end up talking to myself telling him off. The ptsd stuff. But I hate that he loves his life still thinking I was the villain of the story & I was the evil one

[@homosapianlad3185]

Kevin .....This was me for the last 18months!! This is how long I walked away from her and omg the things you are saying is flipping exactly what I went through! I lost myself in my own thoughts! In the last few weeks I have found myself again I have stopped drinking (3 weeks and smoking and stared working out again) I haven’t worked out in a year! The thoughts of her went around and around and around in my head for mooonnnnttthhs! I’ve let it go now ,took me a while but it was a tough journey! I think my thinking was “why did she not care” and kept asking myself that question over and over and over again....I told myself the answer! It’s because she didn’t ...and that was a hard pill to swallow 🥺 Thanks Kevin love this blog!

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@Indigenouslyforiegn]

@@TheRoyalWe how can I call you ?

[@jeffcollom7945]

If you feel that pressure in your head just sun gaze and stare at the clouds getting into nature is helpful. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but dark forces in high office

[@TheRoyalWe]

Great point

[@kerryannmoor5908]

This is your best video yet. It s Sunday morning in Australia and this has been my church visit. Praise you Kevin in the name of Jesus Christ Our Lord. X

[@morbidme7673]

I escaped the nex 2 yrs ago. I also got sober. So many things... My hate for him is truly anger. I do not trust my judgement anymore which also multiplies the fear I have that it could happen again. I isolate hardcore. I work and come home. I am terrified of the outside world alone.... I truly appreciate this message today. Thank you 💕

[@zahara6355]

Dear God, Those who plot against us, may their plots backfire on themselves. Amen.

[@blackduck9867]

So true. There is like some ban on anger, do experience it so many times - even from therapist do attend with whom do try to solve problems with narcissists in my life with clergy and of course with narcissists themselves. Most hurtful was of course when therapist whom I do trust back stab me for being angry. Do attend for couple of years one therapist who pretend to be nice but, do gave her benefit of the doubt ignore red flags, because it’s hard to find okay therapist in my area. So she just escalate her influence up to playing god of some sort - she even claim that at her session happens court session and she is some sort of the judge of justice. She made her with here ploys(she use hypnosis and NLP) to break no contact with narcissistic father - what end up as total disaster, when after pretending nice for some time he start his manipulation again and start sabotage my new business endeavor out of envy and jealousy - trash talking it, picking on to everything, planting seeds of doubt and fear, messing with my head with hypnosis he is good at. So I just blow up in anger and wrote him all what I think about him, he just went bananas, and made from my brain mash potatoes causing me to lose everything. Therapist when I complain to her - instead of supporting me blame me, take my narcissistic fathers side, even abuse me, telling that father is right and I do not can handle money in my forties (can you imagine?) And dump me in the midst of the storm disappear for weeks, and I run out of money - and when she finally appear by text message that can provide visit - I told that have no more money she do not even reply on my message and disappear. That was hurtful. That was last year, after some time this year I went to another therapist an tell in anger that story - how lousy and ineffective and arrogant and expensive that previous therapist of mine was, how I had wait weeks even month waiting in line for a visit, and how she end up betraying me. That new therapist, just become furious how dare I be angry at other therapist!!!! How he is personally offended by that, because same is possible to say about him, and he will not tolerate that and bla bla bla in very rude and demining way, I had to listen tons of personal attacks, nasty trash talk just like some but hurt teenager, he even immediately claim that I must be mentally ill - I dare to criticize arrogance, and extremely high salaries of therapist and how ineffective they are, he do not listen me - my pain and problem, he just turn all the session about how offend is he by my words and anger (that all for a good money I pay) I just could not tolerate it anymore, and stood up and before time of the visit end up walk away hearing how therapist trash talk me in my back. That how they attack you if you dare to be angry. Same with clergy about them do not even mention ether Cristian clerics and Judaism rabbi just like some masochists preach same shit about being submissive and passive, forgetting forgiving, about precious rituals and endless rules, perfect book laws of honoring parents and loving parents and enemies etc. and how eating human flesh and drinking human blood will provide me forgives for my sins and other nonsense or scaring me with god wrath who will smash me like a bug for not obeying their rules. All that people who promise so much in their advertisement campaigns - they so loving and caring and people helping, they solve all problems they perform miracles appear in realty hypocritical trash who enable and escalate abuse, back stab you, betray and just prey on the weak and vulnerable - people who get in trouble(even orchestrate troubles by pushing you breaking no contact - reunite with narcissistic family members, make you guilty for going no contact) and making fortune on it. Have so much to tell on that topic! Such a painful wound (button) inside on with so many push and make me guilty and punish me for being angry, hostile, aggressive towards people who did a lot of bad thing to me.

[@lorraineroberge5793]

Thank you for these biblical skills and tools. As a Grandmother, I need these tools to portray a healthy, wholesome, lifestyle. Revenge always poisons the mind and distorts reality. Thank you Kevin! Keep them comming. A wise man listens to good wholesome counsel.

[@gracerodriguez8041]

This hurts ! After you see the abuser for what they are , it’s so hurtful. It’s hurtful that you trusted that person and loved them and they never cared.

[@tprincess4302]

Yes what goes around comes around. May my ex narcissist fall into the nets he made for me and everyone else.

[@CarolinaCarolina-ph9mx]

I don't wish anything bad on them or their flying monkeys, I only wish back on them that whatever they are putting out into the universe for me to receive, that they receive it back in kind and in full one way or the other. I can't control what they are putting out there for me, so I hope it is all good, but if it is not and it comes back (aka reap what you sow), then that is 100% on them for wishing and doing bad things to another human being.

[@SaltLake180]

Not all of us have the luxury of being able to leave our abuser.

[@TheRoyalWe]

😔

[@sabine1768]

Thank you, Kevin! So spot on! I struggle so hard with ruminating, sorrow and pain. Still two years after the discard. I feel like a victim, neclected and abandoned. But after watching your vid I realised that deep down, burried and surpressed there is s hot burning feeling of anger I never released. Oh yes, I have every right to be angry! After all these lies, manipulation, betrayal and abuse feeling angry IS the appropriate reaction. I will work on that.

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@NB-2020]

Agreed with everything except speaking up against them saying that their calamity falls to their head. Yes, David did this but he lived under the law (eye for an eye). We live under grace where we bless our enemies (i.e, pray good befall them). What I have learnt to pray for my narc abusers is God to open their eyes so that they fully see and understand the sins/hurt they have caused me, and as a result of that conviction they repent and turn back to God.

[@kimberlytoler3061]

Yes, I have heard so many times being said to me, just let it roll off your back and you do you and he can do him or you will be alone. Lol, I was already alone and I wasnt going to let him walk all over me any more. I was done having my ass handed to me and being the fool or clown of the community for his self pleasure in his reality of false personality.

[@Libra_Girl.]

My mom has told me my entire life to not be angry even though she can be angry whenever she feels like it. It's ridiculous. You're absolutely right it's what we do with our anger ~ how we use it that makes the difference between whether or not it's destructive or constructive for us and others. Yes Ephesians 4:26 does say, “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath. It's a great verse that proves God does not expect us to not be angry, just that we don't use our anger to hurt others even though narcs use theirs to hurt us. Personally, I don't want to stoop to their level. Really great, truthful, and helpful video, Kevin! Thank you :))

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯👑

[@mariaolson251]

I have learned to look to God in moving forward - whenever ruminating comes into my mind I pray for healing and elimination God is great and so is our faith - the lower is within us the moment we decide to put them in the past . It’s like everything that is bad for us - choose wisely and on faith Only I can do the work for myself - especially knowing God wants what is best for me. It starts with me .

[@debranichols5397]

True the anger gives you more drive to do things 👍

[@r_ns7150]

The EXTREME trauma they did to me feels almost permenant. They actually could’ve killed me TWICE... God Bless this channel, Truly. I thought I was completely alone.

[@sannajohanna5579]

I’ve been SO ANGRY! You could see it from the pages of my journal. It does not look nice at all. That anger is so overwhelming, it really blinds me almost.

[@Kuda_Shumbayawonda]

Your videos are life changing. I mean it. Just yesterday I heard a pastor talk about dealing with anger. It dawned on me that I believe anger is bad, and so does my whole environment. After going contact with a narc friend in that environment I have become isolated and I experienced a lot of anger and frustration. Your insights on this matter have been refreshing and also provided perspective. Looking to leave the environment as the whole smear campaign dynamic is obvious to me now. [

[@SandraLily2]

My anger is righteous. My anger is earned. Your counsel is priceless. Thank you.

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

Sandra F,You must be a lovely soul 😊

[@laughandluxe]

I wrote in a journal all of the people I was angry with and why. I told them there in the journal exactly what I wanted them to know. It helped me to release anger even to people who were dead now. This took anger from me and liberated me from past offenses and situations that caused anger that appeared to keep reappearing in my thoughts. One of the best things that I have done in my healing journey. Small tip, don't hold back if you decide to journal. Don't be politically correct, don't be nice, exercise complete freedom of speech with only the great feelings of healing being the end result.

[@medina3127]

May my mind finally find peace and I can move on and be productive again

[@feefox2158]

I don’t believe people realize the danger in anger. Anger left unchecked leaves a BIG time foothold for darkness/evil to take up a hard-core concrete residence quickly and easily inside your heart/soul. It leaves place for anger that has not been reconciled to fester into bitterness. Then you will lose all control of the “feelings” of anger you had ...it becomes a power outside of you ...like an entity. Very evil stuff happens with that! I have seen it develop in people like my mother who over the years has turned into someone that hates a lot and it is something I watched. She would express anger and then refuse to let go of it but instead she began to enjoy “feeding” it like it was a cherished child or prized treasure until now it is all she is able to see...is that anger. She has been blinded by the darkness that has now taken root. I can tell it’s an extreme spiritual situation that is Very RIGID/UGLY/WICKED/...it is the Face of Evil. To me it honestly seems sort of like a possession imo. There are so many versus about the danger of anger throughout the Word. He warns us and gives us clear instructions to avoid this tragic fate. G-d always calls us beyond our human understanding & logic to His wisdom and truth. We can only accomplish what He asks when we call on His power to help us with our emotions that can easily “rule” us. We get into trouble ANY time we step away from Him ...and that happens every day so we must continually seek Him and stay grounded in His Percepts daily. Almost makes me want to dedicate my life to learning how to be closer to Him like nuns are & sell all my stuff and become one...this living in the world stuff is no joke!!! It is like being on a boat in the middle of the ocean in a Category 5 hurricane...it is constantly rocky, petrifying, unforgiving, cold, and being overcome by all the waves of life constantly coming at me crashing down over and over...just one wave away from drowning in any given moment. There is simply NO WAY for the children of the Light to manage this without the Power and Fierce Tender Care of our G-d, His Son and the Holy Spirit. All of the emotions give evil a foothold but anger ...the quickest and easiest of them all. Don’t let the sun fall on it; give it up to Jesus.

[@TheRoyalWe]

Moderating anger is difficult yes... this is what we should be taught to do. But denying anger is altogether damaging

[@spiralsun1]

There’s types of anger. -righteous anger like Jesus driving the money changers out. -blaming anger, projecting onto others what you did to yourself. -manipulative anger, using anger to try to control others. SO anger is good if it frees you from something bad or helps you overcome obstacles or evil. Whenever I have let my righteous anger out, good things happen. Not violence. Not hatred. Big difference. The worst kind is a low-boil hatred of the world or god. Separation from everyone and everything to which anger acts as an offensive defense against love itself. This is tantamount to possession. This grows into a blind destructive force which first destroys you, then destroys others using you as it’s puppet.

[@annettecook7213]

Stephanie Romer Yes. I think that righteous anger is healthy. It's understanding how to go about the process that is difficult for some people who have lived a devout life devoid of allowing themselves to be "angry" . So thankful for Kevin's teaching on the subject

[@spiralsun1]

annette cook YES. I was one of those... I could never be angry, couldn’t express any of the real me either (transgender). Double whammy.

[@helenlee6300]

I feel much healthier since i left my Narc !! I let out my anger through exsposing him and his lies . I believe anger helps you stand up and take action . Which helps us to move on 😊

[@stephanien712]

Raised by a narcissistic mother and codependent father. This video might be the first time in my life I've been told its OK to be angry.

[@Katie-qi1ip]

Thankyou Kevin, i have been struggling with this as a Christian all my life. God has given you the gift of clarifying His words so that I, and many I'm sure, can understand and apply His wisdom in our lives May you and your family and friends br abundantly blessed.

[@megaexidor]

It's so hard to get of the hamster wheel sometimes. Takes time & keep watching the Royal We.