Heal Yourself: 1 Life Formula from 620 Hours of Psychotherapy

[@elizabethfilips]

I just wanted to note that this particular video is a collection of years thinking on this topic, months scripting it, over a week of me editing - and hours and hours of overthinking every little thing about it. I've never been simultaneously more confident and insecure in putting something out there, as I do worry how helpful it can be, and also how heavy and long the content is. I don't like videos split into parts, so for personal preference reasons I kept it all as one. I'm popping some extra timestamps below for some of the main points that were made if you'd like to come back to them later (and bc I'm clearly overthinking the length of it). Comments on the content and techniques are very welcome, I hope you find the video/template/concepts as helpful as I have. If you'd like to join me in the book club, for ad-free, in-depth chats about the books I read as I go along, you can join here: curiositystream.com/elizabethfilips Lots of love, Lizzie xx Corrective Experiences: 19:24 - 20:22 - Corrective Experiences, Defining them 25:28 - 31:58 - Corrective Experiences, Explaining them 31:58 - 35:25 Finding the will to work on yourself Differentiation and People 12:02 - 15:35 Differentiation, Defining 14:57 - 15:35 Transference & Countertransference 23:32 - 24:48 - How to deal: pain with people Preoccupation: 10:18-11:20 Preoccupation, Definition and Questions 21:00 - 22:10 Preoccupation, Considerations Extras: 13:52 - 14:53 Significant Negative Events 15:48 - 18:18 Fear roots of anxiety 35:24 - 36:46 Language for anxious people

[@adammark4409]

Still halfway through, but I've got to say... it's clear that many hours of hard work has been put into this video- really loving the editiing and your unique style!

[@subhanaroberts2501]

You don't need to worry! We all love and truly value your work. Every time I see you update I know I'm in for the best of the best. You are just so pretty to look at, your voice is so relaxing, the visuals are always immaculate, the vibe is always so caring and gentle, I relate with you and what you say always resonate with me, I feel secure and at home every time I see or hear you; you've helped me immensely in my school life, hobbies, and self-image, and my life has just been heavily impacted by you. Your perfect, Elizabeth. If you were to post a video that lasted 2 hours, I'd watch the whole thing. Your content is worth it. Telling you all this because I know exactly how you feel and how difficult that is to deal with. I'm simply reassuring you.

[@ABHIGYANDIXIT]

KEEP IT UP... YOUR EFFORTS COUNT.

[@alf.2929]

On another note, congrats on reaching 600k subs.

[@radaimark6548]

Fantastic work, thank you. Keep it up! White color fits you btw. :)

[@ojiverdeconfleco]

I'm a Psychologist, I also go to therapy. It always surprises me that, however much I know about the topic, it's so hard to implement it and effect positive change in my own life AND also that it is possible! And that's so human!! I empathize so much. And I have to say that this video is truly amazing, it clearly shows the effort and care put into it, and I do believe it to be very helpful! I now plan to do this exercise as a fun end-of-year reflection. Thank you!

[@CrisOnTheInternet]

My psychologist told me that in my case wording what is bothering me has a big impact. It's like I know what's there but nothing happens until I tell somebody. It's a feeling of relief.

[@chubbypanda3398]

Hey ,i wanna learn about the prospect of pshycology as a career,what are it's cons and pros ,i have seen and read some of it but still iam contemplating about the job aspect from this career ,can we make a decent living out of it and what is your experience like as a pshycologist. If you could help me with these questions i will be grateful.

[@hspsperspective]

thanks for opening up about this!

[@PopRocks_xo]

Yes! I agree and my husband will say why don’t you do the things you give as advice to everyone? I’m like I’m human!! Frustrating. Do you think body physiology (hormones, etc) could effect our state of mind?

[@ojiverdeconfleco]

@@chubbypanda3398 Thanks for asking! I think it wouldn't be easy to answer in short form here, so I encourage you to go talk to someone in person in your area (even the place you would potentially study for it, they are always happy to answer these questions). To be succinct: it's a beautiful profession, cognitively and emotionally taxing at times, challenging in both good and uncomfortable ways, and it requires a lot of work for yourself and your own self growth. You can (and should) choose which types of clients/patients you will see and specialize in, so there is a super wide range of options and paths to take, and also you could even go into other areas besides clinical (research, organizational, education, sport, etc etc etc). Of course you can make a decent living out of it! Like everything, it depends on your goals and values and opportunities. It is not for everyone. And I strongly encourage you to go to therapy yourself before becoming a therapist, I'm also a professor and I cannot tell you the times I've seen a student that's there to try to fix themselves/their family, and that's not a good enough motivation for a career long term.

[@a.m.teague6219]

Therapist here! Wanted to share how impressed I am with your process, and also how much I appreciate you normalizing this work and having done it yourself as a medical student. This level of depth is helpful, and a lot of the negative self talk you have shared is I think true for a lot of doctors deep down but seldom acknowledged. You're a courageous person, keep going :)

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you SO much for this comment, means the world! I'm particularly nervous of talking about things I'm not an expert in, so I appreciate this so much!

[@hold.on9]

I can see the care

[@brandytorretta3701]

Psychotherapist here👋🏼 This is a FANTASTIC video!! You explained everything so perfectly! I’ve even sent this to some of my clients who are feeling stuck. Thank you for deciding to make this video♥️

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you Brandy! This means the world coming from you ❤️

[@stefaniewerda318]

Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for every single video on your channel. I discovered it only a few months ago and have since been watching all your videos from oldest to newest. You are providing extensively valuable content and it has made such a huge difference in my life. I cannot put into words on how many levels you have effected positive change in my life over the course of these last few months. You have taught me invaluable things by sharing and explaining how your brain (and mine) is working and how to leverage that. You have made me feel less alone whenever you opened up and showed vulnerability. You have inspired me to dare more. You helped me see open wounds I didn't realise I had and enabling me to attend to them now, by sharing your own struggles and your personal journey. Thank you for everything you have given me. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best in the world!

[@erakrasniqi6622]

❤

[@rahulkumar-my5xg]

same for me as well…if you other creators also like her then it will be helpful for us to find them.

[@Thoughtful_Creature]

Didn't even get a reply or like

[@atzirimarquez3347]

I graduated with a BA in psychology, with an emphasis on clinical psychology, particularly anxiety disorders, and you essentially condensed 4 years worth of my coursework into one video. Truly brilliant work!❤

[@clausbehrens5375]

Being a father of two girls I know what Inspiration young women could give to the world. This is another great example. Thank you so much 🙂🙏🍀

[@hold.on9]

☹️

[@jayneterry8701]

​@@hold.on9 is it the word ' could' you are frowning at? Change the word to ' do' ....give the world 💗

[@Arianna-qh6nm]

'Do I feel that I deserve the love and peace that I need to be happy' is such a powerful sentence. And it's hard to admit the answer is no. It feels pathetic, wrong, but it's exactly the issue in my daily life. It's incredible to find in this video the question 'Do I deny myself of positive experiences?' because just the other day I wrote in my journal that I continue avoiding positive experiences because I fear the end of the happiness rush, I feel wrong in being happy and peaceful, I feel unworthy of being listened to if during a specific day I'm not struggling as hard as I've been the past three months. It's such a draining mentality and yet it is so controlling.

[@hold.on9]

feeling easy and peace seems not normal

[@BenIsFiguringitOut]

If nothing else, this video reminds me that healing is a VERY challenging but worthwhile journey. I root for everyone who is on their own healing journey! Be encouraged! Thanks Elizabeth for this video, and thank you for keeping it at the length you originally recorded it in.

[@totoro_r1668]

I actually cried at the end of the video. It's so nice to know that someone out there has experienced the similar thing as you did and trying to help in such a sincere way. I'm so used to being unhappy and anxious that even though everything seems going well at the moment, I have trouble feeling the happiness I'm supposed to feel. Instead, I feel quite empty and demotivated. It's almost like, in the past, my sufferings was my motivation. I've been struggling to adjust myself and connect myself to the new reality, sometimes the negative feelings just keep bouncing back and keep me from enjoying my current life. You videos have been a great help and a great reminder to get me back on the good track. Thank you ❤

[@Sammy-sm4yg]

You're not alone. I turned 26 a few weeks ago, after so many hardships for years i finally am stable in some sense however i feel so unhappy. As if i don't belong here. There's a contrast in my brain which tells me to be happy for what i have and everything, i always remind myself the same but i never thought that it's soo difficult to overcome this feeling. No matter how much i try, it never goes. I don't even know how to fix it, even of it's fixable or not and that's the most scary part. Seeing your comment along with so many others, it reassured me that there are struggles, all kinds of struggles, different for different people, we all face it. It's normal to feel what you, I and so many of us feel. It's also part of life. I hope life becomes better for us, i am willing to do everything it takes to make it better, afterall we only got one life. We are extremely lucky

[@beakamon]

I'm going through this right now. Very frustrating

[@Phoenix-kf4xo]

Ditto. It's taken me the best part of 6 years of focus and solid hard work on my SELF trying to get out of it. I got clarity after PTSD. It was incredibly hard work, but very rewarding. Everything is still the same but now I have changed, with the greatest improvement being in my health. Now it's good just to breathe. And just be.

[@elizabethfilips]

Sending you love ❤

[@maxrn3923]

I feel that so much!!

[@xandraster]

I'm so happy that you decided to keep the video this long~ I saw you posting about not being sure whether you should make it shorter or split it into parts, I'm glad that you went with a format that is best for this video, and something that you felt was right for it! Always here for your content girl, keep up the hard work, you're a boss💪🧡

[@khalilahd.]

Yes I completely agree 🙏🏽

[@MrFilipFabulous]

@Khalilah D. while I appreciate putting so much effort in long videos, I always put her on x2 speed and with i could somehow speed it up more. Editing out the less crucial parts of the video is a very hard process , however my time is precious, everyone seems to be making an hour long videos, indo t have that kind of time to be glued to the screen spending my life watching YT

[@mollymccormick3128]

Interesting. I watched it at .75 speed because it was so good & helpful! Keep going, Elizabeth!!!

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you so much Alexandra, hope it was helpful!

[@crystalcleara.k.a.missyoko1430]

@@mollymccormick3128 same

[@alliemevans11]

This was honestly a turning point for me. I'm turning 22 tomorrow, I've very much been going through the massive reality-breakdown that I suppose everyone goes through in their 20s, as well as reckoning with my newly discovered autism. I feel like I'm being haunted and there have been many truly scary moments. My brain is foggy, it feels separate from my body as I'm constantly ruminating on the most uncomfortable concepts at the extremes of my imagination. This video reassured me so much and put words to my feelings. I would say I'm a person who relies on science strongly and this video gave such a clear evidence-based explanation for what I'm going through. I'm going to whole-heartedly try this exercise in advance of the new year. Thank you very much for sharing! xxx

[@alliemevans11]

@@senatia935 thank you so much! 💖

[@meherjanurmee9566]

Hi! I discovered several weeks ago that I have ADHD. I am currently 19 and I can understand what you're feeling. Don't lose hope, keep learning more and keep working with yourself!

[@alliemevans11]

@@meherjanurmee9566 I've only just seen this but thank you so much for sharing! we're all in this life together to be honest. since I made this comment so much has changed and I'm feeling so much better

[@hold.on9]

uncomfortable concept is all around me. maybe that's imagination but it feels so real to be just imagination

[@mitchiewrdmessable]

This might be the most actively and practically useful videos on the "self development" side of KZbin for me. Also the most vulnerable and empathetic I've seen you as a viewer. Of course I watched the whole thing. Incredible work, congratulations and thank you. In my personal life I think I'm a bit of a master at "guarded vulnerability", where I'm open to mentioning and discussing very personal things (and being subsequently perceived as an "open book") but always in an abstracted theoretical way. I'm never actually fully sharing my innermost intrusive thoughts and feelings of insecurity and fear, I'm never prodding wounds , just observing them from afar. It takes conscious and uncomfortable action for me to actually ever utter a statement I'm emotionally attached to, without the fear of being ridiculed for childish behavior. All that to say: 1) although I have no way of knowing if you might find it similarly challenging and 2) understanding that you're working within the interpersonal (well-justified) limitations of internet broadcasting, I truly appreciate the way you exemplified everything with your own personal process and not only with detached examples. For me it would have been an easy cop-out, to make it seem like I'm talking about the thing without reeeaaally talking about the thing... Not only did it help truly cement the meaning of your words in a cognitive way, but it was very effective in conveying how important this is for a person, to just exist as a person. Not just getting bad thoughts out of the way because they're inconvenient for day to day life, but to actually address the inherent worth of agency and personhood, for the sake of being and being well. I expected only to write a couple of sentences and now I'm feeling self-conscious about "putting to much thought into something that no one cares about" (like a KZbin comment). But I'll refrain from refraining to press send, because I actually like this about myself, finding meaning and thinking deeply are things I'm proud of. And given the video I just watched, and the many other videos I've watched of you, I think I'm in the right place :)

[@sujammaz]

i think so too :)

[@erendrogadicto]

"putting to much thought into something that no one cares about" - same here, i never comment because of this haha, gj going forward, someone do care i think that finding meaning in life is the way we adapt and evolve, is the natural process and the ultimate "goal" for life (not for everyone in this times), i think...

[@carissac8876]

we would probably be friends if we met

[@lunar686]

Talking about the thing, without reeeaaaally talking about the thing....😂gosh did that hit home😅....I always knew that deflection was an impressive skill, but didn’t realise that I struggled with revealing and connecting too my own words....pity the internet isn’t full of videos and comment sections like these

[@oleksandrahaltsova4921]

The whole “guarded vulnerability” paragraph felt sooo close

[@Sammy-sm4yg]

This is probably the best self development video explained in so much depth with facts and research. Can't thank you enough, this must have taken days and weeks. I respect you for explaining each term so vastly in such easy language along with notes to help us out. One thing i learnt from this video is definitely that self development is a slow process which needs to be incorporated in our everyday lives. It's difficult but can totally change our lives.

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you Sammy!

[@ZoeysMusings]

I absolutely adore and admire your tenacity and intentionality about the way you live and how you delve into topics often shied away from. It's like you know I want to completely overhaul my life and pattern of thinking because the life I'm currently living is not it. "We do not need to be continuously denied something just because we were unfairly denied it when we were younger." Whew chile 🥺🥺😭 This felt like a much-needed therapy session. This is a brilliant video, Elizabeth and I am thankful for your honesty, transparency, vulnerability and humility in putting all your thoughts on this subject together to help others!

[@alibarbi664]

This literally made me cry. In the past 2 months I started to understand better how I perceive reality (I mean: every single little part of reality) an ended up being extremely scared about the few core basics I've always assumed are true about how to live and process what happens to you. A few believes, well impressed in your subconscious mind by childhood trauma, can literally influence every decision you make and shape the glasses through which you see the world. I had a mental breakdown yesterday evening due to this and when I opened KZbin today this video came up. Perfect timing. Thank you for making me feel less lonely in this excruciating process of reinventing myself ♥️

[@elizabethfilips]

Sending love, Alice ❤

[@abbielindell]

Hope you’re doing well, Alice! Your comment made me tear up. Wishing you all the best with your reinvention ❤

[@hold.on9]

me when KPop come back and I got thinking a lot and that's feel like hell. cz idk what I'm thinking but I'm think so hard about what I believe are true and not. this is so scary thinking about who I am. maybe I'm bad person

[@tugbab.yorulmaz441]

In a universe that is so chaotic and meaningless, I have to thank fate for letting me experience such a bright person like you ❤ Bright may not be quite the right word to use, but you radiate calm and warmth, and you are generally such a pleasant and beautiful person to look at. You give joy and a smile. Elizabeth Filips take good care of yourself and your unique heart!

[@hold.on9]

not only chaotic but full of black holes in and there.😂

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Thanks for the shout-out! I'm so glad that you found Murray Bowen's concept of differentiation helpful. I also find it very helpful - it explains a lot and helps guide me.

[@יעלסיטרין]

I sat down with a notebook and wrote. The things that came out of my mind to the paper surprised me with how clear they were. Thank you for the high-paste, high value video. The effort is notable and the advice is amazing. I feel like I have a map of my brain, the emotions paths, the cycles, and now I can be aware, forgiving, and in control of my mind. 💙

[@ShelbWasHere]

Thank you! I'm sharing this with at least 3 other people and I'm making actually doing this my gift to myself for 2023.

[@cheerbeerification]

Did you speed this video up? It seems like you are talking very fast and I feel a bit manic trying to follow along. I slowed it down to 0.75X and it sounds like you are talking normally. I realize the video is quite long.

[@yondertf2]

I was gonna write this whole long comment with loads of personal anecdotes about how I relate to things you said, but I think there's no need to elaborate on the fundamental, true and genuine fact of what this video did: This just makes me feel real, pure, unconditional *hope.* So thank you for that and for doing good things that help other people!

[@TheJanaRina]

You have been my hero pretty much since I saw my first video of yours. And I don't mean that in a daunting way and it's not meant to be a pressure. I just really love that you put this info that can be very hard to access especially for someone with ADHD/who is neurodivergent out here in a way that is concise and exciting. I enjoy that I learn something new with every video of yours that I watch and that I am not just learning but also improving my life and my relationship with my brain. Lastly, I feel like I can relate to you in a way that I hardly ever can to other people and it is great to see that bit of representation :)

[@dean1111]

Omg same!! Except the part of the first video, I did join a bit later lmao, but you're so right. Especially the ADHD part, it's so nice to finally see your "brain" in a way, and the way you think, be represented and not seen as a deficit or a superpower, just a difference that, if you learn to harness correctly, can produce amazing results. Ahh I just agree sm

[@khalilahd.]

Couldn’t have said it better. I love her thought process and how well she explains things

[@ClearBlueSky1]

Same I absolutely love and adore Elizabeth and her content, I resonate with her SO much ❤️❤️ I recommend her to anyone looking for any kind of advice tbh !

[@ashirahelat4749]

This was better than 10,000 dollars of therapy. Love you for all your hard work.

[@kf3696]

I'm glad you put out this video in its entirety. As a person who listens to long academic talks as part of my living, this video did have me on the ropes. It did fill my mental saucer to the brim as my nerd cup overflows. More long videos!

[@BigBux]

I realize this video is from a year ago…so I’m not sure if you will even see this comment. But I can’t thank you enough for this video and the others you have made. I felt so understood, a sense of genuine care and gained some great tools and perspective. I realize these are not easy to do and you are putting yourself out there, but you have made such an impact. You really made me look internally at a lot of pain, anger and misunderstandings and realized I can work on all of that, it’s ok and that I don’t need to be an impenetrable tank surrounded by a shield of anger and mistrust. I wish I could thank you in person. I hope you are doing so well in all your ventures…you are amazing! Thank you for helping.

[@thegreennectarine]

I cried three times whilst watching this. Thank you for laying out the pathway to change in actual steps. I can already feel my neurons rewiring at the beginning of this very scary lifelong healing period. You did so good and you should be proud of yourself. Thank you.

[@midwestmom86]

You can go ahead and mark out the worry that your videos won’t help anyone. This is so great. I really needed to hear this today. I can’t wait to watch the rest of your stuff. Keep up the good work. ❤

[@maria-pie]

This felt like the most interesting university lecture I ever had. So in depth, so much research, I started making notes, for my own further research. Thank you for fighting that fear of yours to post this, and it just proves that what you talked about in this video has worked for you, the feelings still exist but you're able to rationalise them. You can see the work put into this, and it's a wealth of information, I hope It finds many people who need it.

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you Maria!

[@ZanzibarGSP]

I really appreciate long-form videos like this that go in-depth on the subject. You're a wealth of knowledge and spreading awareness of the topics you discuss on your channel takes time. Thank you for putting out such genuine content for those of us who care to spend 40 minutes at a time, or more, to gain the insight you have to offer 😊

[@danielmagarino]

I haven't watched the video yet but 38 minutes has got me hyped! Edit: Thank YOU for the video! I have a lot of work ahead of me for sure. Don't underestimate the attention span of your viewers lol, thousands and thousands of people are going to watch this entire video and the trajectory of their lives are going to change for the better. I appreciate all the work you've put into this video and into your channel in general. I hope you and the people reading this comment all have a fantastic day today! Love ya! 😎👉

[@elizabethfilips]

thank you Daniel!

[@kumarsuresh1972]

Thank you work video

[@srividhya1327]

This surely made me feel at peace just to know that I can live a life without all the anxiety,self depreciation,negative thoughts, fear of losing everything and constant self doubt..... I believe that I can be my safe space one day...Thank you so much sis ❤️❤️

[@faheemabid9646]

You'll do great

[@raindownxx]

Yes, it's within reach!

[@prospectnyc]

wowsa. there is so much here to unpack. you could build an entire career by unpacking everything you've gathered and synthesized here. super impressive. im going to have to watch this a few times while taking notes because it is densely packed with life changing information. thank you

[@virtcreates]

Your authenticity is fantastic and humanizing. I think many people are saying similar in the comments, just one more person grateful for your transparency. I hope it is and remains as productive as I imagine it to be for you to share these things in this way

[@arpitgupta2004]

You are only the yotuber and best among the best to create the sessions like these. Prasing the hard work. Thanks!!

[@harrietaylor4600]

Thank you so much for making this. I've re-written this comment so many times, trying to express how this has shook my world and opened my eyes. Honestly Elizabeth, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I didn't know how much I truly needed this. I thought I was on a corrective journey, but after watching this I have come to the realisation I am only scratching the surface, and consciously stopping myself there. I need to do some deep, uncomfortable work. I think I knew I needed to dive further, but feared how it would change my life, my relationships but predominantly how my parents would only view me as self indulgent. Like you, I am doing this for my future children and breaking the cycle. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you

[@hold.on9]

future parenting future hero my parents can see me so weirdly and I will never understand that

[@rushi9154]

37:35 Thank You so much Elizabeth. You are such a lovely, beautiful noble soul helping others. I am grateful that I get to learn a lot from you. I pray that things change for you and you'll live a life you love !

[@biabolada]

I haven't even finished the video yet and I already cried 3 times just reflecting about my life, feelings, relationships, etc. I'll certainly take some time to do this exercise and write down my thoughts, but I'm already grateful for all the work you put in helping people. Better days will come :)

[@houssameddineafyouni]

I've been there and in many ways I still am. What saved me in a big way was reading in general and reading scripture (Quran) under a new perspective. I had to delete, reformat and restart (still reformatting btw). Love you and thank you for this video. I have only watched 6 minutes of it so far but saved it to watch later for a more focused viewing. Peace & blessings to you love

[@josephinbovien]

This is the first video on youtube I choose to leave a comment on... The action you took by creating this video to share intimate and universal self-educational value is unmeasurably brave and what this world needs more of. Honestly, you strike me as a personality of pure geniality with already great access to the strong creative force. I have no doubt your brain often operates in gamma waves. Sometimes this quality can turn to madness when negative or destructive patterns fuel on the powerful energy. I wish you the best on this healing journey. And as a person taking responsibility for my own healing and growth I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR THIS GIFT AND YOUR SERVICE. Amun.

[@BozhidarKurtev]

I can strongly agree with this.

[@gabriellemariefelio9087]

Liz, I don't usually comment on YT videos, but with this one, I had to. This was very eye-opening and encouraged me to set an appointment with a psychological service provider where I live (I needed this video's little push as I've been thinking about getting help for quite a while). Continue to make videos that matter, Liz. You have been such a positive influence to me in my early twenties to proactively carve out a better life for myself.

[@Sensei_Sean]

I liked that you mentioned about there being conflict free relationships where everything is not a battle, because in America everyone likes to compete and they think its productive and normal healthy behavior, not realizing its narcissistically abusive, rude, unproductive and dishonorable to do... Its also very healing for me to hear you being vulnerable, honest and open about your struggles in life. ❤️‍🔥🥳💖☺️ I want to be a mother one day as well!!! 🥰 Thats why i study enlightenment and now that my hippocampus is healing, i am beginning to study medicine too! 🧘‍♀️⚕️🏥🦉

[@ritaamor283]

Yes! So many people thinking that building a career is competing and not understanding that are other models of society and work is so strange for me. Cooperation. Growth. Development.

[@Sensei_Sean]

はい, いつも!! ☺️🤘❤️‍🔥🐉💗

[@SubconsciousLight]

Butterfly effect of this video will be incomprehensible enormous! Great work, if not greatest! Thank you Elizabeth! Blessings to reader for your path of studying yourself🙏🕊💜

[@khalilahd.]

Wow this was so well said and thought out and I couldn’t agree more. It’s a shame resources isn’t readily available for those that need it but you going out of your way to share your knowledge is so appreciated because I definitely want to grow and evolve mentally. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@watermelon3128]

I cannot thank you enough on how much your video helped me. Thank u so much liz. You have changed how i perceive myself ❤🎉. Lots of love n happiness. Also happy new year!🎉😊

[@HaHaLooLoo]

thank you Elizabeth i like you have done hours and hours of psychotherapy read self help books watched youtube vids on productivity but you are the only person i have ever come across that can convey how i feel exactly. thank YOUUU

[@saraendestad4945]

this is suuuuuch a good video, literally took notes - thank uuu

[@pieterdevilliers6750]

The lovely Elizabeth can analyse and articulate anything she sets her mind to! Profound, expertly structured, deeply felt and passionately presented ... I am awed by the talented and multiskilled Liz! Wonderful, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and insight with us.

[@laurabeaty9588]

I'm only halfway through this, and it's already one of the most helpful videos I've ever watched including paid courses. I'm so thankful for you taking the time to create this and having the courage to be vulnerable. Now if I could just get everyone I know to watch it and implement it in their lives lol

[@regellery6695]

Thank you for your video and for sharing your journey thus far. Very inspiring. I did watch it to the end because I was engaged by your generosity and humility. I'd like to offer some personal reflections on the issues of self worth you raised. I'm 66 and in a good place with myself and the people I love. I wasn't always. My turning points was a 12 step program where I learnt 2 important things, 1. acceptance and 2. develop a kind, supportive and loving relationship with yourself. I do judge myself, but only by the question "Are my actions consistent with my values?". I avoid words like deserving because it smacks of patronising elitism. Just be kind for its own sake not because it's deserved. Lastly, I think it's great to pursue knowledge and understanding of our human condition but it is also good to sit comfortably, from time to time, with that which is unknown.

[@shann74]

I feel like I need to study this video, like fully take notes and practice what’s being said.

[@amin_dhou]

So many wonderful value to gain from this video! Thank you for continously outputting quality and valuable content. The platform is loaded with so many man talking about how to be your best self. It is lovely to see self improvement content from the perspective of a woman :)

[@3iknet327]

It's really amazing how personal each and every one of your videos is. I think besides the incredibly well-researched content and presentation style, that by itself is already very helpful for a lot of people, including myself

[@marierothe9434]

Hey Elizabeth, I genuinely want to thank you for creating and uploading this video and I would like to congratulate you on building the strength it takes to walk on this path, to face all the fears, bad emotions and ‘the ugly fright’ in the mirror (as I tend to refer to it). You must be so proud of yourself to have taken all these experiences and learnings, translate them into one video and by that not only proof to yourself, that you are indeed on the right path to choose happiness, fulfillment and the feeling of being worthy for yourself, but also present a long overdue starting point for everybody else on that journey. You speak right from my soul. Your honesty and vulnerability shall serve as an example for me. For you to include all those very personal details is not easily done, but means the world and gives hope. Towards the end of the video I had tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. So here I am, tiping my first ever KZbin comment and looking forward to share your creation with as many people as I can possibly think of. Somebody had to put it out there and you did. Thank you. Sending you all the love, solace and confidence Marie

[@hold.on9]

ugly emotion and bad and scared fear

[@Itskpayne]

I can only echo the comments I've read...but this is a life changing video. I watched it, took notes, and then cried. and cried again. It's humiliating yet empowering that my world, my "reality" is literally shaped by ME. I've been a big "Welp, this is how I feel so its real to me"...never did it occur to me that I could differentiate. That I can change what I believe....its a hard but beautiful lesson. Thank you so much for sharing this. You've changed the game. I hope the people that need to see this find it. Well done

[@cgyang]

I'll be honest. These last 40 minutes went by in a pinch. I should have been sleeping long ago, but I was feeling a bit anxious and noticed your new video posted. Your videos are simultaneously calming and intriguing; and this speaks volumes because you talk about very serious topics. I felt this had very good pacing and was rather enjoyable to watch. The added cut-aways, graphics and quotes are very engaging and are generally placed very well. I'm happy you shared this and it will inevitably be helpful! You're very grounded and give some very good frameworks to traverse life and the challenges that are part of it. Much appreciated!

[@elizabethfilips]

thank you!

[@JackRAbbitrocks]

Thank you very much for putting this out for us. I appreciate the work that you've done on yourself and that you're kind enough to want to share it with the world. So many of us are struggling to make sense of the insanity we've inherited. It is a blessing to offer this gift. Thank you.

[@hold.on9]

insanity of human is insane . they stay in the believe that they believe not breaking it that's not it. it should be broken every believe cz some believe is just

[@taelicious6162]

Unloved and unwanted? I'd do anything to have a sister like you. You're so genius, soft-spoken, kind and you're someone I want to stay around. I'm changing myself one step at a time to be better and YOU are the one I look upto. You help me a lot . Thanks for your existence.😊 Merry Christmas💝

[@hold.on9]

she is so fighting I can feel it😮

[@rituanand4608]

From the bottom of my heart, Thank-you. This year has been a rollercoaster for me, and finding a safe place like your channel is one of the best things to happen to me so far. I appreciate all the work you put into, and I cannot wait to try this 3 step implementation out this year.

[@Footbeat1]

This helped me. Thanks for taking the time to make it.

[@OkayGameplay]

I never comment on videos, but I HAVE to thank you for the work you're doing. I've been on a similar journey with similar struggles, and it's so inspiring to see you push forward and take the action you need to make positive changes in your life. Not only that, your need to spread this information really shows your compassion for those who are struggling as well. This is quality information, and I hope you keep it up for as long as you see the need to do so!! ❤️

[@elizabethfilips]

thank you so much!

[@AlyseParker]

this is my favorite video you've shared so far. thank you SO MUCH from the bottom of my heart for spending the time to share your discoveries.

[@sylviaef1996]

This feels really different than other self-help videos that are repeatitive just to feed the algorithm and it really seems like you care for this system you made and believe in it. I really needed something like that lately thank you for sharing this

[@IamAshleeRose]

Wow wow wow. You were correct, that was intense. I felt like I rode alot of different thoughts and emotions watching this. I've journalled many pages. The ending of this video of course brought tears, it felt so comforting, genuine and caring. Thank you thank you thank you for my heart to yours.

[@PUTLER-KAPUT]

I also have felt anxious, insecure, stressed and especially unloved and unwanted over my life. Quite often I feel lazy which makes me procrastinate too much. I think we both have gone through very similar issues and that's why your videos are so helpful for me. Special thanks for the vocabulary session that you gave at the end. Those phrases are very useful! Now you've become an English teacher :)😊 I would love to chat with you and discuss many things. But I'm restricted by this comment section. So I just want to say that you definitely deserve to be happy and you certainly will be!

[@veertje_kijkt]

Thank you so much for this video, it's so helpful and liberating. I have ADHD and childhood trauma, and everything you mention here is so relatable. It kinda feels like you're a grown-up successful version of me :)

[@Goddessattractor]

Beautiful woman, you fell into my path this morning and I'm new to your content and a grateful new subscriber. Yes, your video helped a lot. Let those fears and anxieties fall away. I needed your message this morning. My first grand baby arrived this past week and my brother is now with hospice and I'm flying out to say goodbye. Saying hello and saying goodbye in the same week as a year is closing... found myself on KZbin searching for something... anything... and there you were. Much gratitude. This video was full of life wisdom and little jewels that reminded me of some of life's greatest truths. Life is the absolute, hands down, best teacher when examined closely. I have benefited greatly from many therapists throughout life. Sometimes you hear the clearest from others that are stumbling and bumbling along the path and sharing their own journey. Much love and courage to you as you journey forward. Your content matters. You matter. Thank you for being a beacon of light along my path today 🙏🦋🙏

[@mrodriguez377]

I'm only 10 minutes in and had to pause to go find a notebook. Thank you for this. You could easily have info-dumped and left us to detangle each concept on our own, but you gave the information a logical and effective structure, along with visual aids and cues through high-quality editing and, for that, I'm so grateful. You are very inspiring.

[@rootedreinvention]

I really appreciate this video. I have a BSc in Psych, a MSc in Cognitive Neuroscience, and I attend weekly therapy -- You are definitely not alone in your fears and as much as I studied and know the theory and implemented so much -- its so flipping hard to apply consistently in this world that can disable us. Will definitely be coming back to this summary for future reference.

[@onyssima]

This is such a wholesome video, I actually learnt a lot from only 1 video! I will definitely watch this many times. Thank you 🙏

[@hajimen7559]

I learnt that your should give yourself a second chance, to love, to be loved, to grow and experience new things. Thank you for this video, I am super super late at watching this, but Thanks a lot. 🙏

[@eailye]

Thank you so much for the wealth of insight that you’re constantly sharing with everyone on this platform! I really like how you linked ‘data collection’ with corrective experiences because I find that many people around me tend to associate experiences to feelings and emotions instead. I’ve seen so many videos that focus on the theory of differentiation/counter transference and this is probably the one video that describes it without mentioning Freud even once (if I recall correctly) 😂

[@eailye]

- which is good and refreshing! Can’t wait to see what you will be uploading in 2023. 🙌🏼

[@SaumyaaMavi]

this video has such big sister energy who has gone through stuff and only wants the best for her younger siblings,,, thankyou so much for making this, you are an inspiration

[@awildbecoming]

Thank you for sharing all your hard won research, knowledge and experience here. I'm going to bookmark this and carve out some time to come back to properly do the exercises. Great job, well done.

[@crazyduck1254]

wow, man have i suffered in this life. Lost my parents at age 4. Separated from my three siblings. Adopted by a couple who had later become cruel alcoholics. We never had running water in a world where everyone had running water. I didn’t know what a toothbrush was until I was 10. I looked like an old man at 19. In the sense I looked like a street person. I applied for jobs such as a junior copywriter at a big newspaper. The man there told me in so many words how I didn’t belong in their world. He said, you’re too experienced. A metaphor for looking old for your age. I had no experience. Now I am 70. I have nothing. My life has almost been a waste. I saved myself by writing poetry. I am an accomplished poet. I hope to do more of this. But the world had no other place for me. I have a high IQ. I grew up poor and uninspired. I did what I could to find meaning and inspiration to go on. At 13 I concluded I should take my life. I couldn’t cross that barrier.

[@crystaldreamvisions6578]

I couldn't keep pace with the staccato rapid fire talking, but I did try. I heard a coherent sentence from time to time, but it was a difficult challenge.

[@warrenbaker4124]

All of this is so wonderfully structured - I will be exploring this in detail. I've realized that I simply don't have much of a clue what other people are thinking and this realization has been very helpful! Also, being rather empathic, I've had to learn about barriers, and this too has been a game changer! All this helps with beneficial social reconstruction! Your video is so helpful - to see how someone else is thinking and dealing with the world!

[@ashirahelat4749]

You are exotically amazing in your presentations and the inspiration you share. ❤️

[@nilepearl1997]

This is pure gold ... I worked with one issue I'm facing through the whole steps (took me couple of hours to finish the video) and all I can say ... It's so liberating & I feel lighter ! Thank you sooo much !

[@letsdomath1750]

As per usual, this video was very insightful, but considering that I have also spent a significant amount of time these past few years better understanding myself and my patterns, I wanted to mention that it is also important to not simply tackle overthinking in a hyperrational and analytical way. It may be beneficial for you to explore ways to regulate your nervous system and incorporate more favorable beliefs about yourself that are not solely at a mental level. Again, your progress and introspection is remarkable, and I admire your commitment to improving yourself, but there are things you can do to streamline this process and reap many more additional benefits.

[@dicedrice7216]

This may be one of the weirder compliments you ever get. I really appreciate that you speak somewhat quickly. I hadn't noticed it until this video, but most videos in which someone is trying to explain something, they have a tendency to speak rather slowly. Presumably this is to make it easier to understand all the important information. But I realized that that technique often makes me feel like I'm in kindergarten and not able to absorb and process complicated topics. Your manner of speaking is very engaging and empowering! Thank you so very much for all the hard work you've put into this video and your other videos. You've helped me, and so many other people, immensely! There are not enough words in English language for me to properly express how grateful I am to you. Thank you so very much!

[@lizettedayana]

hi i’m just a 21 year old trying to get their life together and i have a very similar personality and brain as you, so watching this was really helpful. i just gave this video my first watch to get the general idea but i will keep coming back to this video throughout this week to really capture everything. also this is the second video i’ve seen from your channel and i just subscribed! i absolutely LOVE your content and it is so meaningful to me ❤❤❤ thank you for this !! :●)

[@lizettedayana]

I’m back! In step two (Consider), the part about differentiation reminds me of the book *The Four Agreements* by Don Miguel Ruiz. He reminds us of the power of our word (our beliefs & thoughts). We manifest our life through the agreements we have in our minds. And like Liz explained in the video, unless we work on analyzing and changing our beliefs, the trajectory of our life is significantly more likely to be a repeat of negative family cycles. The second agreement Ruiz teaches us is to not take anything personally because everyone is living in their own mind. I can’t put it as eloquently as Ruiz but if anyone who was watching Liz’s video @13:15 and would like a book that would help them differentiate their feelings from reality, I highly highly recommend *The Four Agreements*. Also Ruiz explains later on in the book, but I want to clarify here that the point is not to suppress emotions. It is to acknowledge them, give space to them, and then allow yourself to momentarily pull away from from your emotions to get a bird’s eye view of reality-then, once your reality is not tainted or confined by your emotions, you can choose to act on your feelings or not. The power to shape your life is yours. And I strongly agree with Liz that differentiation is an invaluable tool for the betterment of our mental health. (I also recommended the Daily Stoic on KZbin; I’ve heard that his books *The Obstacle is the Way* and *The Ego is the Enemy* are really helpful as well. I actually have a copy of *The Obstacle is the Way* and I’m reading it!)

[@abdullahsulaymaan9085]

This is acc the longest video ive committed to watching, every sentence was meaningful and i definitely benefitted from. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Youre a genuine person and i belive you deserve all the goodness that life has to offer. Bless u. and dont believe everything you think. Thanks for being alive

[@hold.on9]

benefitted

[@blardyhell3095]

Hi Elizabeth. I just want to say that you are doing such a good job and you bring such new things to the table - things that I've just simply not considered or seen on youtube, ever. Your mode of thinking about how to improve one's life is something new that hasn't been really explored in other productivity circles; I really appreciate your videos.

[@PamelaZKemper]

Just wanted to say thank you! This is the first time I'm discovering your channel, and I can't adaquetly express how grateful I am. I've spent years seeking self-help and never came across anything that puts all the pieces together in such a digestible and relatable way. For the first time in a long time, I feel really hopeful that change is possible. THANK YOU! It doesn't feel like enough to express how grateful I feel right now, but I hope you feel my appreciation. 💕💕💕💕

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you so much for your comment Pamela, hope it's helpful!

[@yasmine4501]

Your hard work and desire to simply just help people is so evident regularly and this is no exception, if I were you I would be very proud ❤ thank you so so so much for this

[@megamegathom]

Nearly cried at the end! I really needed to hear your best wishes. You're an incredibly caring and thoughtful person. Thank you for what you do- you're making lives better.

[@elizabethfilips]

Thank you Thom, sending you the best!

[@hold.on9]

sending u the light that u NEED

[@Vrinda-wk1ft]

Idk how much of this will I really be able to apply while dealing with untreated adhd, toxic family, s******* parents and an absolutely messed up career at 26.......but I will try and give my best. Because honestly I am so done with living like this. This is not who I am or want to be.

[@jahnvipatel471]

I'm in the same situation 😣

[@diipsr]

Really great content! I think this should be a 2 volume book. Volume 1- the process and theory. Volume 2- the tools and workbook. Also, I had to watch at .75x speed, normal was too fast for me. I think Elizabeth and Ali are very intelligent people and I just need more time to absorb it. Great work, do consider publishing.

[@electricarchaic]

I think its sped up at least 10%

[@Bethany.Loveday]

Thank you!!! This video was AMAZING!!! I took so many notes and rewatched parts several times. I’m about to get the template and do a massive journaling session. Thank you kindly, this is the best Christmas gift 🥰💕🎁 (Also, I hope this comment contributes to the data to show you that your long videos are amazing, highly appreciated and enjoyed to help ease that anxiety 💕)

[@elizabethfilips]

thank you Bethany!

[@nataliawrozek3867]

It was a really good material and insipred me a lot, thank you. I've been attending therapy, but I never felt like it made any significant change. Yet somehow this video spoke to me and I finally think I know what needs to be done. Thank you once again for putting yourself out there

[@noellenns]

New to your channel here; I’m finding that I relate to you so much! I think often & enjoy learning lots of varying topics, but struggle on/off with the life basics in the realm of “atomic habits” motivation expectations (what you call Type 1 success stories we see everywhere, selfhelp books, etc.). I look forward to hearing more from you in the future! 😊

[@Othique]

I've truly thought I would never hear any other person on earth voice these same frustrations regarding people's refusal to work on themselves, our tendency to distract ourselves with "meaningless" bullshit, and a want to scrub their own brain clean and hit the restart button.... and now I'm watching this on the edge of tears. Just wish more people like you existed in the world so that you weren't so hard to come by. It often feels lonely around here.

[@demireyes]

Watched the whole video! So inspiring and full of useful and helpful information! I can see how much effort you put into creating content that can help other people like myself also struggling with similar issues. Thank you so much, Elizabeth

[@larkfly9273]

Elizabeth, I just wanted to give you some words of encouragement: my mother is a social worker and a psychotherapist and has worked with children, teenagers and adults her whole life and has done so much for me the way I am and grew up. She completely broke how she was brought up and the bad relationship with her own mother and created a really loving and understanding relationship with me. I feel so good and hopeful about you having children in the future - all your work WILL pay off and your children WILL harvest the effects of that

[@beanscolly8905]

I just journaled along this video and it made me feel really better with myself and the negative emotions I have wallowed in the beginning of this year. This was very educational and helpful.

[@jennerzlistens1522]

AHHH! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! And how you comprehensively AND concisely presented everything 😍 It was exciting and easy watch this “long” video 😊 So impressive, informative and interesting! Thank you Elizabeth! Saved to my playlist and sharing with others 💞 (The aliterations weren’t really intentional 😂)

[@aishwarya2016]

Happy new year,Miss Elizabeth Fillips. I watched the whole video today and i am sure this year is going to be the one of the best for me because of you! I am so grateful to you for this video 🥰😇. Keep up the great work! 🤗 with lots of love and support ❤❣❤!

[@andiefisher5646]

I love your channel so so so much! I pour over so many similar topics, but I feel that the way that you synthesize things is always *exactly* the way my brain needs to hear it for it to make sense and I'm so grateful for the effort you put into your content

[@ghulehanon2730]

This video made me cry. When you said feeling negative and unloved was not normal if kind of broke me. I grew up in a really difficult household so your words helped free me a little bit. I’m trying to find solutions to my unhappiness, and this really helped.