Are we creating a generation of self-absorbed bullies? || Motherhood In Progress

[@Dafoodmaster]

"We're gen alpha influencers, of course we are obsessed with skincare" is the most dystopian sentence i've ever heard.

[@CementCakeisboss101]

How dramatic

[@enigmaticallis3110]

Sounds like the most crass and disgustingly superficial thing I've ever heard in my life!!! I don't want my kid anywhere near them tbf

[@ki5met.495]

its a joke lol, its a reference to the “we’re costco guys” meme that was floating around not too long ago.

[@enigmaticallis3110]

@ki5met.495 "welcome to Costco, I love you "...😂😂😂

[@YourLordAnon]

@@ki5met.495 "Hahah guys I'm only pretending to be an idiot, it's a reference hahaha"

[@sativadiva2389]

People still saying "let the kids have their fun" even though they're damaging their skin barriers and developing massive body image and behavioral issues. We just watched a BABY use a $45 peptide serum and $34 exfoliating toner.

[@doggwater]

Reality is starting to feel like a weird simulation

[@mykittenisaferociousnugget]

Finally somebody gets it. The worst issue isn't just the "weirdness" of it, or how self-absorbed they are (which they'll probably grow out of), it's the fact that their mental and physical health will FOREVER be impacted. Giving toddlers full access to the internet is traumatizing for the child, quite literally.

[@user-rx7pd1xv4k]

That shocked me lol, I didn't even know until I was a teenager that people put lotion on their face.

[@LuciMorningstar_666]

I recommend Sukin, Dermaveen and brands safe first kids

[@OtherMother.0]

@@LuciMorningstar_666 I recommend normal sunscreen! Maybe like, some Vaseline? Why do children need anything for their skin, other than protection? Their skin will literally never be healthier than the years before teenage acne starts. It's a saying about babies, for a reason. Even a dermatologist would tell you that their skin is already hyper-exfoliating, so to add more exfoliants??

[@martaferreirapires8656]

You can't show/see the kind, smart, well cared for and well behaved gen alpha kids because THEY ARE NOT ON THE INTERNET.

[@Kalani_Saiko]

Exactly. Hell, some of these kids DO have internet access, however they're not documented like the ones that do act out.

[@lydia21936]

@@martaferreirapires8656 Some of them are and I've seen some of them post. People will only cover the bad, not the good.

[@martaferreirapires8656]

@lydia21936 whatever gets the most views, right!

[@youtubetrash3196]

Yeah, my cousin is Gen Alpha and he is very kind and smart.

[@TheSpiderInUrWalls]

@@youtubetrash3196 Exactly, it’s all in how they’re raised. Some gen alpha kids are fine, perfectly functional humans who don’t need internet to live.

[@USER_S4V4NT]

i saw someone say “your not giving your child access to the internet, your giving the internet access to them”

[@slytherindork8459]

Exactly, there are so many creeps out there, how can parents know that and still out their kids out there? I feel like that’s something that CPS should take into account honestly

[@emre.gry01]

@@slytherindork8459 I don't even care about creeps anymore. Look how agressive they became when having internet access. They have little to no patience, they don't have any respect to their parents. I saw it with my own eyes. My nephew (5y.o) literally slapped a 40 year old man. They don't have basic manners.

[@elisabethw.9465]

Neither of which is a good thing

[@mixedmediaartgirl300]

​@@emre.gry01you should care about the creeps. They get on gaming platforms and blackmail children to send them horrible things and then some. They scared them into doing all sorts of things. I can imagine how I grew up and thank God I didn't have the internet because I can easily see how because I was in an abusive chaotic home how someone could scare me from my "parents finding out" this or that I did online, into doing things I didn't want to.

[@SuperMiIk]

​@@emre.gry01I'm sorry but "I don't care about the creeps anymore" is a crazy thing to say. No child deserves to be preyed upon, no matter how much they misbehave

[@chipskylark7249]

My sister was born in 2012. She’s normal. Her friends are normal. They go outside and play. They sprawl their Pokémon cards out on the sidewalk and scream and laugh and giggle while they battle, even though they don’t know the rules. Their favorite things to talk about are just Pokémon and Mario and Minecraft. They like the same books series and read them together. They fight and then they makeup. They have sleepovers and watch Disney movies in their pajamas. Don’t lose hope. You only ever see the ones who use social media bc the normal ones are too busy living life. The difference between a happy healthy child and a literal socially stunted psychopath is as simple as keeping a phone/social media out of their hands until they’re old enough.

[@e1nnui]

thats so cute omg

[@iriswaldenburger2315]

I think the problem is - for now - a VERY USA thing. Non English speaking countries don’t have this issue YET because the kids simply don’t understand the content yet

[@chipskylark7249]

@@iriswaldenburger2315 I agree wholeheartedly. But also America is just not a kid friendly place. Children existing in any public space is considered annoying or even offensive. Their existence is not nurtured or supported anywhere. They have nowhere to go but home in front of a screen. I went to Three European countries this summer and was baffled by kids walking safely home, going to museums, and having small child spaces in every restaurant or store. They just don’t care about children like that here. Everyone expects kids to be silent with a screen in front of them at all times. It takes a lot of extra work from the parent to keep them smart, happy, and healthy. It’s definitely better in other places.

[@More13Feen]

I have a son like that. But he is the only one in his class and has no friends cuz all the other boys allready have phones and mess around with stuff thats not for theyr age. He is going to middelschool avter the summer break and I hooe he findes some lther kid who is into WOW and Mangas and Pokemon... I feel sorry for him, but I know if we give him a phone it just opens up an other dore for bullying online as well as in school.

[@eeveelyn4]

I was a camp counselor last summer and so many of the kids were so intelligent and curious about nature and making friends! Normal kids still exist and I’m so thankful. You could tell which kids had been given an iPad.

[@leopromissio]

Teacher here. This. It. Is. Exhausting. Children will downright state that their parents will back them up, and they do! The administrators are scared to do anything to the child so they come down on the teacher for setting expectations. We don’t even have detentions anymore. There is no space to send students when they attack us or other students. No consequences. Not at school or at home.

[@worm4165]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with such unruly behavior and no way to help or even discipline them. That's just some insane BS. I'm still a student but I'm at my later years. It's genuinely baffling to me how uneducated some of the other students are and how much they have no respect for authority. I can't comprehend how people can badly treat faculty that are doing a service to their community. I hope that things change for the children and for their caretakers. You are doing an amazing job dealing with them and I hope they learn to appreciate that!

[@Hellzangel115]

Ah yes the parents right movement. No schools have no power

[@yomommasofatthanoshadtosna3479]

Hi, as a high school student I wanted to say thanks to you and all the teachers who are trying to do something about this but struggling due to how idiotic the parents of these children are. There are things you learn at home before you go to school, such as the basics on how to behave, how to properly speak to a teacher/ person of authority, how to talk to other kids and to show respect to others. I think it's stupid to put every kid in the same category, but at the same time, they are young and impressionable, therefore their parents need a long damn talk on how to do their job: BE THEIR PARENTS. And be there for them to actually guide them through, not spoil them and defend them when they're in the wrong. This way they're raising a bunch of brats. And it's not just gen alpha, Gen Z has this problem too. The school system in America is extremely faulty and guilty as well, I'm sorry for anyone who's a victim of it.

[@lazysylph3312]

Paraprofessional here… hold strong cousin

[@mobstercrow7515]

In elementary school my teachers hated me because I stood up for myself and my friends. When there was a fight, I broke it up and I was the only one that got into trouble. I spent most of elementary school in detention of at home due to suspension. My dad always had my back and my teachers started to hate me for it. I was forced to eat alone on the floor during lunch time and they made me sit inside of the dark classroom during recess. I never started a fight. When someone hit me or someone else, I grabbed them and pinned the bully to the ground. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I wanted everyone to stop fighting. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone or join the class during parties. The teachers always talked shit about me. I dropped out in 6th grade because I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't learn anything in school because the teachers hated me. When I dropped out I started teaching myself daily, I'm 18 and I just passed the HISET last week. I will be going to college with my service dog next year because I am physically and mentally disabled. I want to get my PhD in geology and zoology so I can help save animals and the world.

[@ashleymarie6585]

It’s actually fuckin crazy that we’re making it sound like there is something wrong with the CHILDREN and NOT the idiots who are raising them?! We best be blaming our own generation. Not the literal babies. If their parents knew HOW to discipline them or communicate with them or set boundaries with them we wouldn’t have this problem.

[@cakeissweet8185]

Right fr

[@he4rt5]

that's literally what this video is doing..?? or do you mean everyone outside of this video?

[@ashleymarie6585]

@@he4rt5 yes just every one who genuinely blames the children and acts like it’s just something in the water and not how they’re being raised! I get the point of the video lol

[@albedougnut]

Honestly, I do not think the parents or the kids are ultimately to blame for this new cultural shift. Social media is deliberately manufactured to be addictive, as it is profitable to corporations. Many parents themselves have this same addiction for the same reasons. Furthermore, many parents will use ipads to entertain kids because many of them genuinely do not have enough time to look after their kids due to excessive work hours, which are often necessary just to make ends meet. Daycare is extremely expensive, and only wealthier families can typically afford it. A lot of these problems are the end result of late-stage capitalism. That is not to say that there are not bad parents -- there are -- but a lot of the time parents are blamed for a systemic failure of our economy. Economic failures can have pervasive effects on people's lives in fairly insidious ways.

[@daniellegarcia4098]

I personally think it’s because we live in a society where it’s cheaper to buy your kids iPads than to get them proper child care. Then these kids grow up to have behavioral issues, and it’s still cheaper to get them the newest piece of tech than it would be to get them therapy. The kids are being set up to fail, but so are the parents.

[@Miao_MixMiao_Mix]

If my generation is already one of the highest with depression rates and suicidal rates, then I’m afraid of what we’re going to start seeing as soon as gen alpha gets older

[@mydogeatspuke]

Highly narcissistic people are unlikely to harm themselves as they have such an inflated sense of value and superiority. I wouldn't worry about them.

[@johnnyparatrooper1326]

20% increase. I’m 38 years old and I have lost 7-8 friends to suicide. It’s hard to believe the next generation will have double those rates… It’s sad.

[@deviilchan]

@@johnnyparatrooper1326 Yeah, I feel like with every generation the numbers just get fucking worse.

[@momosannn3958]

As an 14-15 yr old gen Z, I relate.

[@jordonlongley6576]

How do you think all of the ancient civilizations of the world collapsed? Like this of course.

[@carolinaazevedo2088]

Honestly the internet f***s up everyone. It is just worst when they are exposed so young, during their formative years.

[@Khaegch-favh]

No. It's just now the few of us who are sane can call out the 80% who aren't. We use to be spread out so if we called anything out we would all be gaslight and bullied by the masses. Narcissistic have always run the show because everyone else LOOOVES them. The internet just let's the Narcs have a more accessible platform and the Narc-simps indulge in their desperation to feel close to the cool kids.

[@robinfox4440]

Internet addiction has documented effects on your brain. It's bad enough to have it as an adult. Kids are far too impressionable and have no way to self-regulate or get themselves out of it once the iPad addiction sets in - and it will set in faster for them than for a grown person.

[@FrankieChicken]

i showed my mom this video (2k9) and this really helped her. ive showed her the two australian girls with these subjects before but this was so nice and she rlly liked it! X)

[@lynnboartsdye1943]

I had access to the internet as a teen and it fucked me up! These kids need help not mockery

[@theflyingspaget]

Counterpoint, I had unsupervised access to the Internet as a toddler and I was fine, the Internet itself is not at fault, it's what the Internet has become. We're all on just the same few addictive social media sites and they're breaking the brains of everyone who uses them, not just the kids. If you kept kids off of every major site and let them free on the rest of the Internet, they'd flourish. Maybe... It also might be possible all the good sites are gone by now.

[@sarahmcdonald6980]

I’m so grateful I got to be bored as a child

[@missy2375]

Im pretty sure there was a study before before saying that boredom is a very important part of a chikds development as it encourages them to be imaginative and creative. Kids don't sit there thinking of new fantastical worlds anymore or draw strange things that are sorta creepy. They just...find a new youtuber to watch. Even worse, they're never really monitored. The amount of kids I've seen that have already adopted harmful rhetorics from people on the internet is absolutely insane.

[@6lu5ky86]

And quiet, man I miss the quiet but I'm getting back by making myself read books again. No more video games for me, I'm burnt out from over-stimulation. Cheers!

[@Odd-Vegan-Singing-TFOL]

I'm not. I have severe ADHD and it's horrible.

[@SleepyHollowKnight]

I hate being bored honestly

[@jordangann7438]

​@@Odd-Vegan-Singing-TFOLi also have adhd but I'm almost 30 now, climbing trees like i used to is definitely not safe for me anymore. lol 😂

[@emmaloorose]

trust me, it’s the parents. half the parents i’ve met or worked for don’t want or regret having their kids so they just don’t try and let the internet raise them. they treat their kids like shit so the kids adopt that since it’s all they know. it’s rly sad and disheartening. i really hope their generation has a shift and becomes aware at some point bc their parents don’t seem to be doing it for them :/ ps i have met some good kids. the family i babysit for right now is a diamond in the rut and they have two little angels. some good families still exist!!

[@trustedroot]

diamond in the rough 😂

[@TheCarlinCoop]

Perfectly stated

[@felix-xd4mx]

it's so nasty bcs our generation blamed boomers for our trauma (deserved) but here we are our generation traumatizing their own children? maybe not physically abusing them but at least our parents cared about us. in their traumatized, fcked up way they knew how. not just neglecting us.

[@juligriffin6115]

Angels until adolescence and you aren't a parent, so don't be so quick to judge until the actual job is yours. And it is diamond in the rough, not rut.

[@girlwholikesmovies]

Honestly, I feel like the fact that people are trying to make abortions less accessible is part of all this. Someone is forced to give birth against their will and the person doesn't want the kids, so they have no motivation to try and raise them.

[@kayladawn3640]

i saw this woman on tiktok this morning and she had bought her two kids a beautiful handmade wooden dollhouse, and they had absolutely destroyed it. and in the comments she was like “it’s my fault” “that’s just the way kids are” and it’s just so astonishing to me because i would have NEVER done that to my toys, i STILL have my dollhouse that came from 2 or 3 gens before me. these kids have ZERO empathy or compassion for the people or things around them.

[@palemeadows]

lmfao? its a doll, kids have always ripped them apart.

[@murufufufufuuu8209]

​@@palemeadowsthe dolls yes, but the house??

[@clueless_cutie]

I work as an IT technician in a public school and the lack of care for breaking things has easily quadrupled. I have the unique experience of working as a 30 something in the same district I attended k-12. I remember our computer labs having some mileage and funky keys or taped together junk equipment. But I NEVER would have anticipated the casual acceptance of kids smashing devices *regularly.* Lab equipment is broken more often and more severely than it ever was before, and take home devices are shredded by kids. I remember book socks being a big deal, but holy hell the rate kids break iPads (something that should easily demand more care than a textbook) far exceeds the way they used to ruin textbooks. There's still old PCs from when I was in school and the same Library books I used to checkout over 25 years ago. The iPads and Chromebooks? We average a 3 year life expectancy. Not from software but damage. And we have a really good district with mostly great kids. I can't fathom how poorer and less well rounded schools are handling technology. The kids literally just don't care. They don't understand why they should care about not breaking things. I remember my mom freaking out when she had to buy me a calculator in 6th grade and said this is the only one you're getting until you graduate. You break it and you're buying the next one. iPads? Things 8 times more expensive than my calculator? First broken one is free. The next is $45 My non-graphing Cassio calculator in 2003 was $99. Do you see where things just ARE NOT ADDING UP? Could you imagine the outcry if parents had to pay for iPads? I honestly don't think middle school kids school get iPads. I love tech but I don't see how it's helping them. I see HS kids who can't sign their name. They don't understand what a signature is and can't sign their own name. I'm not entirely against Chromebooks on carts in each classroom because the teachers can elect to incorporate them into lessons. Or send them home for flexible school days. But the iPads 24/7 is a terrible idea imo

[@Tactless_Kaizen]

@@palemeadowswhen have you ever seen a kid break their dollhouse 💀💀💀

[@TarkTheWild]

@@palemeadows Its not just dollhouses i have seen these runts in 2nd grade just DESTORY a laptop.

[@MarthVaderxvida]

I've worked with families for a few decades and I've noticed the shift in kids behavior from around 2012 onward. It's been astounding to see how violent children get when you take away their tablets/smartphones. The meltdown is huge and unsettling, and it's not the same as when you take away a kid's toy. It's magnified when it comes to tech. Also, when did hugging your kids when they are upset become something to make fun of? We forget what it's like to be a kid and forget that kids are not little adults.

[@bruisedstar]

I've seen the violence from getting tech taken away from my younger brother before. He's 15 now and still can be very rude sometimes. If you talk about something and it isn't something he likes, agrees to, or think is the most best way of doing something. He'll make sure to berate you about it, he does it to my mom. And she just sits there and takes it. So now I tell him off anytime I see him do it and she thanks me sometimes for it..

[@dynamitewolft4194]

its because most companies engineer their platform to be as addicting as possible.

[@Me-hf4ii]

Gen Alpha wasn’t even born in 2012… so you’re talking about younger zoomers. Alpha is 11 and younger.

[@saltymarshmallows316]

@@Me-hf4iigen alpha started in 2010, though some argue it to be 2012. either way, gen alphas can definitely have been born in 2012

[@anzaia2164]

It's not like taking a kid's toy, it's like taking an addicts stash. Because it is. Their brain chemistry is so fucking dependent on the instant gratification of the content previous generations produce specifically for them. And it's by design.

[@Lucien234-i2z]

"Gotta keep those wrinkles away" 😮😮😮😮 I can't believe that came out a small child's mouth! Children should not be worried about aging.

[@dalmajikkot90]

ikr, I'm 33 and I don't give a damn about wrinkles, you're gonna get them with or without all these products anyway 😂

[@BeanSidhe1985]

I'm very much positive that this isn't something she actually believes, but more something her mom told her to say.

[@ForeverForty]

"They got this moisturizer for me. Ugh, it's been a rough day guys!" - what rough day? From playing with dirt and stuff? 😂😂 Jeez, they're all really just mimicking

[@LLLadySSS]

Can't believe a fetus is talking about wrinkles...

[@hailee1001]

@@dalmajikkot90 i’d rather be a beautiful old lady with happy smile lines than wrinkled from worrying about aging😂

[@danicamargarit6832]

There is not a chance in hell that I'd let my 9 or 11 year old be an "influencer". Absolutely sickening.

[@slidaverage6]

I had to wait for 13 (still waited till 14) to stream on twitch with MASSIVE restrictions, but I try to work hard and be willing to make up for my being online, chores come first and take priority (though I do stay up too late watching stuff) My brother was allowed when he was 10 ish, streams everyday, just starts without conversations about "hey, all my chores are done etc", and tries to make communal spaces in our house into his own "gaming office" and put it on such a pedestal that he is passive aggressive about being asked to do anything ("can you put away the dishes?" "Huuuhhhh I guuueeeesss"), super lazy, and now my 8 yo sister is demanding to stream as well, barely able to put her tablet down for more than 10 minutes and thinks it's impressive she was off for 5 and everything has to go her way Sorry for the rant, a lot of it is pent-up emotion because it really pisses me off

[@mr.foxasmg]

I actually started making vids at 10 or maybe 11 I mostly posted things I loved doing or found funny Really it depends on how the kids were raised or what their mindset on making videos are on ig Idk but I do know it's different for everyone but you should still definitely watch what your kids posts to make sure they're safe and if their videos obeys guidelines Just to also make sure, tell them to not show their faces when they first make their channel and post their videos to be safe And make sure they're responsible and work hard to get their free time

[@EpikBirb]

@@mr.foxasmg I had a lot of old videos (now deleted), nowadays I just make whatever I like Most of my old videos were just me goofing off and whatnot

[@lapinajustleft]

100%, if I ever had kids. I would never let them on the internet as a child. Maybe some monitored access with me around for like an hour, but until they turn about 14, they won’t get their own device. And even at 14, their access will still be limited and I’ll never let my children into a Sephora. They don’t need bronzer drops, a simple soap and moisturizer will do and if there’s acne, then we’ll go to a Shoppers Drug Mart and find something. Don’t even get me started on posting on KZbin, I don’t care if their classmates are doing it. They will not be allowed to post on accounts unless I see it because the internet is a horrible place. I know that from experience and they are not following in my footsteps and Twitch/Tiktok will be banned until around 16-17, though Twitch I feel would be allowed before Tiktok. I may come off as strict or overbearing, but let’s face it, being a doormat to your child is not helping them. Gentle parenting doesn’t work and you need to put your foot down. I’m a lot more open to things not related to the internet, but this is what I think I’d do. Though if I found out my children didn’t listen to me, I wouldn’t yell or hit them, I’d just sit them down and talk, and if they continuously do it, I’d take away their devices/ground them/give them more chores.

[@Dfaye9lovespoob]

I started doing KZbin at 11, but influencers are a whole different breed. I do stuff for fun no matter how ‘cringe’ the younger generation says it. I was really close t being gen alpha, and i do admit I had a phone at 11. Of course my mom monitored it, I wasn’t taking in weird ‘influencer’ stuff, the only influencer I followed was a body-positive influencer who doesn’t cover her bumps and facial hair. i admit, i do Have an interest in makeup, however only as a form of art, as I still am a child. If I ever have a kid, the only skincare they will have is soap and water. I’d let my kid have KZbin, however I would make sure there was no NSFW or content farms. Don’t let your kid have a channel where they show their face, and monitor what they are producing. If your kiddo is just doing silly drawings and post in it, that’s different. But if parents allow their kids to be influencers, that is so much worse. My mom always made sure to keep my comments off until I was more emotionally mature, which is what you should do.

[@noemiditella]

What’s the purpose of blurring her face ( 0:01 ) when you put it in the video’s cover without blurring it?

[@iqramohamed.]

Omg rightt

[@sophiarhoads1196]

the usernames of these kids' accounts aren't censored at all as well. which seems just as important as censoring their faces.

[@Blueleaf11]

I'm a Paraprofessional at a Middle School and work with Gen Alpha. The narcissism and lack of empathy from a lot of these kids is real. You try to talk to them about how their behavior is affecting others and they just look at you blankly, like they never thought of anyone else's feelings before. Their parents made their entire worlds revolve around them, so it's hard for them to understand that the real world does not. It's actually pretty sad.

[@animangle]

Gonna be honest, i think that's typical middle school behavior. I don't mean to look down upon middle schoolers, but when I was in middle school there was so much bullying/insane behavior.

[@leadpencil-223]

@@animangle middle school is when most children are learning these things, like what boundaries are and how to respect them. You don't just know these things you learn them.

[@edorasmarauder5761]

They're going to have a rude awakening when they get older.

[@Blueleaf11]

@@animangle Oh absolutely some of it is, but speaking with teachers that have been doing this for many years, the behavior is getting worse. The bullying is awful at our school but when any of us try to do anything about it, the parents just say "not my kid, my kid would never." Even if we have the kid on video doing something. They'll deny their precious angel did anything wrong. How can we correct the behavior if the parents refuse to? It's very sad because you can see what kind of people these kids will grow into.

[@theflyingspaget]

​@@animangleI think there's a difference though, because when we were being little shits, we kinda knew we were being evil? Like I feel like the bullies knew they were bullies, and they kinda enjoyed the cruelty, y'know, typical rebellious kid things. But Gen Alpha, since they were raised on the internet where everyone acts like a bully constantly, that's just normal to them.

[@ebrothen]

My teen complains about how hard it is to get his friends to go do things with him. They'd rather stay home on a screen than meet up with a friend.

[@gottago33]

my son is 17 and same.....

[@alaynajordan8459]

I have an issue with that as an adult! Said friends are clearly on social media and gaming platforms because they're green lit available 🙄

[@mooglecious7620]

Gen z but even though I like to spend some time on my games, I like to balance it out by at least going out here and there and getting exercise. I would much rather be out eating with friends but it seems as though barely anybody around my age is out and about or if they are they are very introverted or shy etc. And I have bad social anxiety myself and partly due to society but also many other factors. But I still try to communicate when needed, I genuinely wish I had irl friends but I don't. The "easy' way to make friends is online but you can't even guarantee the safety of online people or even being able to keep contact or actually care. To me, getting to know is much better when met in person and more meaningful. And despite how hard it is I still try to keep going out for that chance. I am tired of being in my room constantly. I hope more people who are chronically online will be more healthy in the things they do. Life shouldn't be wasted online all the time. We literally lose ourselves in negativity and forget how to communicate properly and mannerly because of it.

[@egale1873]

I think it’s worth taking into consideration how much harder it is for teens to be able to go out nowadays, with the combination of decreased availability of public spaces and public transit, the increased prices of social activities and events, and the decreased social acceptance of children travelling and going places by themselves (somewhat due to either an increase in danger or how much more aware people are of danger than before) combined with many parent’s lack of willingness to take children and teens who can’t drive places because they’re busy and overworked. Social media is just one factor in a society that’s becoming fundamentally asocial.

[@mooglecious7620]

@@egale1873 another good point made

[@jaimeerindy4573]

I'm an elite volleyball coach, my age group this year was 15 year olds, and let me tell you -- I was STUNNED with the lack of respect for me as an authority figure and the extreme entitlement not just from the kids, but from the parents as well. Whatever the cause is, it's horrible to work with these kids & their families now

[@randomshorts6862]

I apologize try to stay in it they are kids after all with idoit parents it's not theirs or your fault the best and most beautiful gift you can give them is no matter how hard it is stay in it someone's gotta teach the younger crowds and the idiot parents and it might as well be you plz dont leave like the other idoit teachers in my Mililanils generation we need you more than you cloud ever know we gotta try working with all age groups otherwise we're all doomed 😅 and Gen X knows this very well I got my advice on this from them 😅

[@Onyrooliver]

I'm begging you to use punctuation.​@@randomshorts6862

[@TrevorHamberger]

Let me guess they think they're the greatest volleyball players to ever exist. And they're probably the worst team you've ever coached

[@gabro4069]

I'm sorry for this, we are not all the same. being around the same age i can tell you than when my coach told my mom i was misbehaving with him then i got punishments at home

[@casc7937]

@@Me-hf4ii goddess forbid people learn empathy and to think of how their actions could and will impact others. 😮 🫢

[@amiwrong_1]

I’m 15, and therefore on the younger side of Gen Z. While Gen Alpha has in worse in terms of media, I also grew up in the digital age. I was exposed to pornography at a very young age (not without lack of trying from my parents to protect me from it), in literature and on video. Now that I’m old enough to recognize the effects this had on me, I can tell you that my childhood was extremely damaged. My exposure to themes such as incest, left me distrusting of my family members. By the age of 8, I stopped wanting any physical affection from my parents as I began to view it as inherently romantic/sexual in nature. Oftentimes I will try to seek out what I lost in romantic or platonic relationships leaving me very codependent on some people. Please protect your children, I fear what I experienced is just the tip of the iceberg.

[@Stephni_]

This.

[@herdustisverypretty]

Wow that's really sad :( I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm a younger millennial and I definitely witnessed parts of the internet I shouldn't have because my parents just didn't understand it, but it was nothing like what it is now. I'm deeply worried for what kids are being exposed to and how it's affecting them.

[@findingagain]

Mature themes are so slippery... Exposure to them in literature when I was a kid was a massive key to understanding what was happening to me and a "safe" solo space like books allowed me to reckon with myself. But for kids who absolutely have no foundation for any of those themes, especially in such a "safe" space for them, learning about them absolutely can be very traumatizing and disorienting!! It's so hard to strike a balance between autonomy of choice, what some kids need, and what really hurts some kids.

[@cheryltamelcoff2557]

Mr. Rogers had it right…. No advertising to kids. He would be so sad to see how kids are used to sell Products

[@pambuchanan6358]

Mr. Rogers had a lot right, down to the tone of his voice. As a kid, every time he came on I was always a bit disappointed, but never changed the channel, always watched the whole episode, and felt good by the end. Side note, I can't remember where I saw it, but a mom posted how much different their kids behaved after switching over to 90's kids shows. I bet adults behave better also watching stuff

[@aalmondmilk]

⁠@@pambuchanan6358everything we watch online makes us upset because that’s what keeps us engaged the longest. i’m an adult but damn this stuff is designed to be addictive and it’s hard to remove myself from it. it has to be sooooo much more difficult for the children to do

[@NiaLaLa_V]

@@pambuchanan6358 You experiencing ASMR isn't about Mr Rogers, that's your sensory processing.

[@pambuchanan6358]

@@NiaLaLa_V would you agree that sensory processing applies to everything, not just ASMR, Mr. Rogers, or advertising?

[@theunscriptedsuccessstory8898]

I'm a parent of 2 and I've stopped posting my kids pictures on social media. I have even stopped posting my kids' pics on WhatsApp statuses. My kids (5 and 9) don't have phones and have limited screen time on their tablets. Their schools do not allow cell phones and if you bring it in it's kept in the admin office until you go home. I do not constantly entertain my kids, they entertain themselves sometimes, which means...lots of playing outside and using their imagination. They have limited toys out at any given time. It takes conscious effort to have an impact and raise these kids in a healthy way.

[@TheOpy83]

It's a blessing that their school does not allow phones. It's a tremendous idea. However, I Wonder how many students tried (and succeeded) to "smuggle" phones in the classroom.

[@killuaxkillua2384]

I remember seeing a post about how a mom posting an innocent picture of her son led to it being posted on a page filled with shirtless young boys and there was nothing she could do to get it removed.. I haven’t posted my children online since just after my oldest’s first birthday because it scared me so bad. My oldest has limited screen time and no phone and no access to social media and I’m very careful with the content he is allowed to consume. Like you I also don’t constantly try to fill in the gaps to entertain my kids I just give them the opportunity to entertain themselves. We also homeschool so my sons are around other kids who are usually not glued to a screen and who value actually in person interactions and my oldest is really thriving. It’s only ever apparent that he doesn’t live connected to a screen when he interacts with kids who are often online. Like when kids try to talk about Minecraft or Roblox.

[@randomshorts6862]

Your doing a great job they are very blessed 🙌 😇 🙏 to have you 😊

[@Iquey]

Thank God you took your children's privacy seriously. Every child should be taught stranger danger for the internet, not just meat space. And the categories of strangers need to include: pervs, corporations, scammers + lifestyle influencers , online gambling, peer bullying, online hate groups, and feds/government.

[@folkloreswiftie13]

It’s very important to let kids be kids and keep them away from something as harmful as the internet or even just online games. However, it’s still fine to play with your kids, like board games and sports. You don’t have to be with them 24/7, but not playing with them at all tends to be sort of neglectful

[@Yah_Artist_ARI]

In the beginning, how is the little girl WHO HASN’T EVEN FINISHED GROWING TEETH, already has skin care?!!! As a teenager, I don’t even do skin care.

[@trustedroot]

everyone should have some basic level of skin care- face washing, a moisturizer with SPF, stuff like that. but children using anti-wrinkle serum is horrifying

[@4ngels444]

no cause fr, I didn't start skincare until I was like 14 lmao and all I use is a basic acne treatment, moisturizer, and a face wash lmao also sunscreen

[@jaxonanderson7220]

The only skincare I’ve ever done is eczema lotion when I was a kid and currently witch hazel for blackheads and little bit of acne

[@katie_vee]

The sad thing is, stuff like retinol will actually damage their skin more. It's more sensitive because it's about 30% thinner than adults' skin, so putting on a retinoid then going outside? Even with sunscreen, it will cause more sun damage, causing the opposite effect. They're going to look 30 at 20 😢 not to mention the other things likes like alpha hydroxy acids and so on. How could parents not do research first? Ffs and then these companies shamelessly send the PR to promote to other literal babies knowing it is harmful. As a teenager I just washed and moisturized my face with something that had spf once a day. No need to worry about anti aging until 30, if you even want to worry about it at all. Aging is natural and beautiful. I've known so many ppl that look timeless and they wash their face with freaking dial lol

[@dirtyoldbroad7583]

I’m almost 40 (and female). To me “skin care” is showering daily/every other day.

[@jocelynnelson]

I’m so glad that there are companies that still make “dumb phones” and new ones are coming out. I want my kids to be able to have a way to contact me without having access to the Internet. Me and my husband’s rule is simple. No social media until you’re 18 and no smart phone until you can buy one yourself. We refuse to have our kids sucked into the same trap that other kids are in.

[@Raven.Mad.Hatter]

Yeah my 5 year old nephew just got a smart watch type thing that will show him the time and let him call a select number of people, that's it. My friend has also said that when her kids get phones they are going to be like the "old nokia brick" style where you can just call or message the people you have the number off.

[@BriannaNorum]

👏🏼👏🏼

[@ingridaguero6460]

I got my first smart phone at 15. Before that I had flip phones. I think I was more happy with that than the smart phone. My favorite show, Power Rangers had flip phones to morph, so I copied what they did.

[@laufov]

I almost feel that Gen Alpha is learning "love" as a concept through tech. They aren't learning from humans about what love means. So when you take the tech away, it seems to signal "you're taking a parent away from me". I also have a theory that the kids who act out more are showing signs the parent isn't present with them because of their own addiction. And when these kids get to adulthood and things aren't always going to be about what they want to happen, you're setting them up for highly unrealistic expectations and pain.

[@3mwa]

You make an excellent point. It's two-fold - the time they are online is not just toxic exposure, it's time they AREN'T spending doing other things like socializing, moving, creative hobbies, etc.

[@theflyingspaget]

​@@3mwa but is this a problem because of the Internet or just a problem with bad parents? Or both?

[@disgustof-riley8338]

​@@theflyingspaget The internet is not a substitute for every other life experience and interpersonal relationship. That's the problem

[@xoxnataiie]

yeah this was me. i was addicted to technology from a very early age and now im doing other shit

[@mkultrasurvivor99]

I’m a preschool teacher and it was extremely disturbing to me when one of my 3 year olds got hurt and scraped his knee and started crying “I want my mommy! I want my iPad!” I couldn’t believe it. This is legit

[@LenaVoices]

I taught gen alpha (I am gen z myself) kids in summer camps and while there is a conversation to be had and major concerns as addressed- but there are some gen alphas that are so smart and have the power to learn. I feel like putting them in a box of "iPad kids" does them a huge disservice, because if we dehumanize them as spoiled iPad kids, then we loose the empathy we need to be able to help them.

[@shiina29]

It’s about societal trends and how we’re raising kids. It’s not about saying all of them are stupid.

[@coralburriss3546]

Who said gen alpha is stupid? That is not what this conversation is about. Mental health issues does not make a person stupid.

[@miceeater69420]

as a gen z liaison for a computer science and robotics competition filled with generation alpha i can confirm this is true

[@TheJoker137]

Your camp kids could also be bit of a skewed sample. If their parents have the money to send them to a summer camp they may be representative of a much higher and more stable socio-economic category.

[@janosmerc667]

Yes but as someone who was a summer camp director- these kids are largely a different breed. Their parents have raised a lot of emotionally unregulated children who know WAY too much for their age, and who are also very spoiled. There is definitely a large issue with a lot of these kids. I almost was never able to get through a single activity without kids catching nasty attitudes or fighting with each other or asking to use their iPads/Phones instead.

[@MizziProductions]

Unfortunately, they’re just imitating what they’re seeing adults do. We’re raising a generation of children who believe that being held accountable doesn’t matter if it hurts their feelings, a generation of children who can’t read or think critically, and a generation of children who are chronically online. I hate smartphones and social media are deeply problematic. I sincerely hope that this is just a blip and eventually we’ll move away from social media and streaming, and live a more analogue existence. It really bothers me. It’s dumbing us down.

[@minimushrooom]

I think you're partly right, but this implies other generations can read and think critically which, both online and offline, is so vastly untrue. Bring up AI, vaccines, global warming, immigration, trans rights, or literally anything slightly complicated and requiring nuance to an average 30/40/50 year old and you'll quickly see their reasoning, logic, and emotional regulation skills are poor. I'm not denying social media can have negative effects on children's behaviour (and in fact all our behaviour), but older generations really are giving themselves too much credit with these sorts of arguments. It becomes an echo chamber that helps people feel better about themselves by comparison. "I'm worried about the kids.". Then people should do something to help the kids. There are accessible youth groups and outdoor spaces that need developing, education systems that need fixing, healthcare systems that need to be reformed, government policies that need to be implemented to benefit future generations, and a whole planet we've knowingly destroyed to be ecologically fixed (the accountability for actions is ironic with this one).

[@Evelyn-rb1zj]

@@minimushrooom I mean I agree and I am worried about the kids but I also find kids horribly irritating as a general rule (and I felt the same as a kid too ironically)

[@bobtheball5384]

​@@minimushrooom Agreed. Adults engaging in critical thinking is becoming rare as well, especially when being driven by reactive behaviors.

[@Window4503]

@@bobtheball5384And basic reading comprehension. The number of times I’ve seen someone fly off the handle because they couldn’t understand context and didn’t bother to reread…

[@starbaby_383]

Something I've noticed lately are accounts of young boys becoming radicalised in the space of months. Going from sweet young lads to women haters with a few clicks. This social media life is brainrotting in ways more than we think.

[@paigeeldridge5769]

“Gotta keep the wrinkles away 😄” is so so sad because it perpetuates the continuous sexist pressure women endure to look “youthful” therefore “beautiful”, and to think she doesn’t understand the extent of what she’s saying is heartbreaking. And the smile the mom has looking into the camera tells me she doesn’t care about exploiting, she cares about money, sadly her children will grow up with the same body issues girls had 20 years ago.

[@gandalf-big-naturals]

the whiplash I got when the video went from talking about negative self-image to being a sponsored message for laser hair removal

[@qt_stacy]

yeah. my first time watching her video & the last first sure bcuz of how irresponsible that sponsorship feels

[@ellkabellka]

I respect you for noticing and bringing that up

[@JimJamTheAdmin]

Yup, the complete and total lack of awareness. Get that bag but not from me, girlie.

[@ashlyndavis1219]

Most women do not want or like having hair and it’s a completely fine sponsor. There are less people that don’t shave and are ok with it and how it looks compared to people that are the complete opposite. You can’t be mad at something that everyone sees as normal (removing body hair and talking about it or methods and products related to it) just bc you may be a part of the smaller group of people. Having that sponsor doesn’t have anything to do with having a negative self image and I would argue if you have the hundreds of dollars to buy that then it would make hair removal much easier and improve your self image bc most people do not like being hairy and look down upon it or look at it as something gross.

[@samanthazhu8019]

@@ashlyndavis1219 what different is that from "improving your self image" by being obsessed with skincare and anti-aging, like what this video is about? Lets not ignore the fact that having zero body hair is still the beauty standard, which is why "everyone sees it as normal" nowadays

[@BasicallyMindy]

“We’re Gen Alpha, of course we don’t have toys.” 😢 That is so sad. My kiddos are 7 & 5 and they love their stuffed animals, Barbies, legos, monster trucks, magnatiles, marble run, play games and board games. They only get toys on birthdays and Christmas. And we thrift a lot of fun things. Give your kids a normal childhood!

[@Bushwhack-lmao_xD]

i miss when toys were a thing i wanted to play legos and dinosaurs with my brother he screamed at me and went to watch his weird toilet or whatever it was

[@what-hq1gl]

im 15 and i collect legos and transformers figures as my hobby 😭😭

[@RojinDrawsStuff]

Thankfully my lil Gen Alpha siblings also love legos, stuffed toys, etc

[@girlwholikesmovies]

I think a part of my soul died when I heard that in the video😥

[@CRUSH__05]

I’m 14 and have a big stuffed dog that I can barely carry 😢 I have tons of stuffies I’m emotionally attached to.

[@Kbethany516]

My take now: my child is not my property therefore they should not be my content. Imagine growing up knowing your most embarrassing life events were on display for all to see. If you wouldn’t like that don’t post it.

[@matrixfan58]

Yeah some of my friends think our other friend is strange for censoring their baby's face on sm posts. I think it's cool, when her son is older he can decide how to represent himself and not have 13-18 years of himself online with no control over it.

[@x1rocore]

7:50 i can do that at 13 and im so so grateful. couldnt do it a month ago, and why? because i had tiktok. to anyone who is reading this, uninstall that app it only harms you.

[@brandy4530]

I have three kids. I just want to know how these parents can afford iPhones for their kids. Why in the world would a parent spend that kind of money on something that their child is going immediately drop on the pavement, or leave on a playground somewhere. I know how scatterbrained kids under 11 actually are, and there is no way these kids are not destroying and losing these iPhones.

[@randomshorts6862]

Stay in teaching plz 🙏 😢 if you don't, we all lose. I know it sucks but we were those very same kids once too 😅 wink 😉

[@LightShadowButterfly]

They can't afford them. They're in debt.

[@casualamber]

@@randomshorts6862she never said that she's a teacher. She's a MOTHER.

[@sonicpsycho13]

Providers give away 3-year old phones for free. Also, if you don't trade your phone in every 2 years, then you just have an old one that you can give to your kid, because after a phone is 3-4 years old providers won't let you trade it to them. An old smartphone can be deactivated, but it can still be a wifi-only device. Wifi-only can still do internet, streaming, VoIP, etc.

[@theflyingspaget]

I got an iPhone when I was six... By the process of getting a hand-me-down. My mom gave me her iPhone 4 when she upgraded and that's how I got most of my phones up until recently, hand-me-downs from my parents or cousins. But I guess that doesn't work in the US with the nuclear family if you have more than two kids.

[@tangerinetundraag1014]

I think the biggest issue with gen alpha is a lack of play. Play serves a very important role in child development: it's how we learn right from wrong, what's socially acceptable and what's not, how to interact with others, develop emotional intelligence, and learn empathy and resilience. Gen Alpha, instead of spending their time on play, are spending it on the Internet, skincare, and entertainment. I'm curious to see how they will structure their lives and parent their own kids without those crucial skills.

[@what-hq1gl]

real tho ‼️ i used to play a lot when i was younger (lego, barbies in kindergarten etc.) and i still do play sometimes like recording stupid videos with my legos and such (im 15)

[@TiffanyPittenger]

.. so true. I used to always play outside, played with barbies, Legos, etc. Whe i was younger Lol

[@meowmeow-b5o]

1:21 Do not rope us in with these people 😭 I swear I've met NOBODY born in 2010-2012 that act like this

[@6Snake6Eyes666]

Real, but the fact stands that Gen alpha is from 2010-2025

[@colinbowden4663]

Lol I'm just gonna assume this is a joke

[@jessclark9725]

Hey there, I’m a 30-year-old from the “Raised by the TV era”. My parents didn’t have TV until I was almost 7, and as soon as I had access I was hooked. It plummeted my grades and attention span, and I had temper tantrums about them putting up limits. Then in my tweens, because I wasn’t as stick thin as the girls on nick and Disney shows, I got a huge self esteem complex and developed an eating disorder. I seldom see this addressed, though it was a huge talking point until about 2010 (anecdotally). We’ve been doing this to kids for a long time, but because of the progress of media technology it happens harder and faster every generation.

[@AA-iy4gm]

She didn't fully compare them as much as she tried to highlight that poor and absent parenting has been happening for a while now. I agree, whether its TVs or phones, there is a lack of decent parenting and its not just due to "being busy", its a lack of interest. So many people have kids and fit in with society just for the bare minimum fact that they gave birth and got kids, but many haven't really considered whether they truly wanted them and how to properly raise them. When parents open up and rant sometimes its not uncommon to hear so many complaints about having to deal with their kids and spouse...

[@Pjbanana8]

Parenting is really key! There was a technology gap like this when cars first came out and teens (later known as Boomers) were like cya later! Leaning on your fancy car in front of a drive-in expecting attention WAS the selfie of 1960.

[@chasewainscott8739]

It’s a theory of mine that the human mind literally is not built to experience so many people in a lifetime. People got their start in small groups of maybe 20-30 people who lived their entire lives together-young people being exposed to tens of thousands of people before they’re even in their teens will erode away their sense of identity due to the lack of clear principles and morals.

[@NightmareRex6]

i hated that i would get limits of 3 hours TV and only 1 hours video games and i kept trying to explain the TV is worse than the video games (unless its tablet phone games)

[@hannajung7512]

and befor that it was the "raised on magacines" generation, the "raised on romance novles" generation and so on. Complains on how new technology messes up the new generation is documented for literal millenia.

[@masc_pigeon]

I work at a summer camp for kids 3-12 and it has been a nightmare. The kids have no respect for you and they will constantly laugh and roll their eyes at us if we even dare to say that they can’t do something and their actions will have consequences. The older kids around 9-11 have been especially disrespectful with what I brought up earlier but the younger children 3-8 have been almost worse because they have no respect and don’t respect peoples boundaries and the fact that they have to wait in line for food just like everyone else, or they can’t just take another kid’s things. A lot of kids I work with have so little empathy that they are willing to hit, scratch, and spit at their peers just to get what they want. There is one child in particular that has been awful. He beat up one of my coworkers and threw a metal water bottle at me and my coworker and has spit at me. These kids have been so disrespectful that i want to quit and i haven’t even been there for 2 weeks. It is also the adult’s lack of consequences that have made it even worse. They let kids do whatever the hell they want as long as they don’t break anything. It has been genuinely awful seeing no repercussions for these kids actions until they start breaking things the camp owns

[@belajadevotchka2]

Can you describe the kids? Are they a mix? Rich? Poor? Suburban kids? City kids? Are Asian children better behaved?

[@rosetea6590]

It's all children across the board ​@@belajadevotchka2

[@echitester]

I taught a summer camp last week with mostly rural kids who have limited or supervised tech access. it seems like a community wide attitude. and these kiddos, man, they act completely different from the kids I taught when I lived in a big urban area. and I don't think it's necessarily the city, but the fact that all the parents in the community collectively are opting out of giving their little ones smart tech is probably easier to do in a rural area than a city. it did give me hope though. we can figure out healthy relationships with tech and we need to. the difference in kids that are tech saturated versus those that aren't is really obvious at this point.

[@jalapeno1119]

Been there. The last daycare I worked at was a nightmare because the adults were not consistent in their reinforcement, had empty threats, and overall didn't do anything when a child was misbehaving. Like another grown teacher just let a kid kick me and punch me without intervention.

[@briancows8368]

DUDE SAME. I've been working at a summer camp the last 3 summers and I have the exact same experience. I have so many kids who are always talking back and don't listen unless you have to get physically involved and separate them. And that sucks too cause you'd need a camp counselor to sit with them or hold them down to make sure they don't go anywhere cause you can't trust the kid to stay on time out since they don't listen and will run off somewhere. There are some kids who are good, but the loud majority is what ruins it for the rest of them. For me tho, honestly a lot of the younger kids (around 4-8 y/o) are more well behaved than the kids ages 9-12. Could just be because they're more intimidated by authority than the older kids. Then there's the few older kids 13-14 who are mature enough to behave. It's mostly boys for me who are disruptive and I just chalk it up to them being in their rowdy "middle-school boy" phase, but sometimes it really does push the boundaries of just "boys being boys". Last year there was a kid who spat on his own cousin cause of some dumb little dispute. It's only week 2 and we've already had to have silent lunches and some recess time taken away, yet they still misbehave. It makes me feel worse for the few kids who are good, It's so funny cause it seems like an easy job, just watch over some kids and get paid. And honestly yeah in general it is a pretty lay back job, but after the days over you just feel so exhausted and it makes me dread having to do this for the next 3 weeks of my summer.

[@Iquey]

I feel like if aliens were watching us from space they would say "oh no. The primates got addicted to OLED screens as entertainment and diet connection."

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

Probably more like "Thank for. The primates got a more healthy addiction than moral 😇fanaticism. One step closer to them being tolerable to be around."

[@Fallofthenights]

"lets bring back bullying" How about no, how about instead of bullying the kid we turn are attention on the GROWN ADULT allowing this behaviour

[@wisteriafrog]

As a gen z college student, im so so glad i was raised with respect, and to respect others.

[@justanotherpotato5523]

Same

[@LGrian]

It’s too bad gen z to young millennial are having this fewest kids of any gen because I think we would actually raise empathetic and sensitive individuals with a sense of responsibility to society. Problem is our conscientiousness is exactly why we’re having so few kids.

[@user-zu5do6ri6r]

We no longer have a responsibility to this society. This society has lied to us, stolen from us, and murdered numerous of our friends. Generation Alpha has every right to take up arms against this society. It has no obligation to help this society.

[@Faith.M22]

With boundaries too.

[@jaxonanderson7220]

I’m a gen z high schooler and I can say the same too.

[@d33ps3a_3ntity]

I feel like, as a later Gen Z, that I hit a sweet spot. Technology in my life as a child was usually used to bolster my social relations in real life. I remember spending long afternoons playing Minecraft or Animal Crossing with my friends, or filming KZbin videos of our stuffed animals (that we never even posted.) It hurts to see that technology is isolating for children instead of bringing them together.

[@Demonetization_Symbol]

I agree. This is what technology was and should be about!

[@hipeople9856]

Me too- I'm 18 and so many of my best childhood memories are playing minecraft with my brother and my friends. But I also still know the time and place to just be with my friends and family in person, no social media or video games

[@Mark3nd]

21 and bruh, I even recorded of my friends and never posted them. Nah those are memories I will not erase. Because those are my memories to remember before covid

[@immortes]

Minecraft with friends were the days....

[@ashleykathryn9038]

Right! It improved my childhood, to be far I did grow up on a farm and spent a good amount of time outside as well though. Not trapped in an apartment all day.

[@karenbishop9421]

My kids don't have smart phones or social media. It can be done. There's a growing movement against it. I'm currently reading a book called "Opt-out Family" that addresses these problems and gives tips on how to opt-out. My kids are happy and more engaged in the real world.

[@hannahhensley8497]

Yup, I have no intentions of giving my kids smart phones and they even have super limited access to tablets. I’m thinking about finding a landline eventually 🤣

[@KhinJohnson]

@@hannahhensley8497 Landline is a great idea! I want to "break up" with my phone too but I have to keep it around in case someone calls me.

[@alexacarrillo4339]

My kids are now young adults and I was late to get them a cell phone but during Atlanta’s snowpocalpse they were trapped on the bus and didn’t try to call me with their friend’s cell phone because “we knew you would find us” changed my mind about kids and cell phones but I don’t know what I would do today because even my 80yr old dad has been stuck getting a smart phone. My kid’s first phone is nothing like what they have now. By the way I did prove my kids right and found them on a stuck bus at which point I took the kids I was allowed to off the bus and we hiked home in a snowstorm that paralyzed the area. I know we can live without technology but it definitely requires a skill set people haven’t necessarily developed. I grew up in a rural area without much of any support during crisis times which is why I hunted down a bus in a snowstorm and my friends in unwalkable suburbia whose kids I hadn’t been approved to get waited for the bus and kept calling the school. Those kids got home after midnight mine plus the ones I had permission to take were home by 2-3 pm after being stuck on the bus for several hours and a miserable 5 mile walk home. If you stay unplugged learn the skills you will need in a crisis when things go sideways.

[@omegabat39]

Well if the real world Is becoming more digital. Which it is. Wouldn't this just make them left out and isolated as well?

[@karenbishop9421]

@@omegabat39 It is true this is a collective action problem, like Jonathan Heidt, author of "The Anxious Generation," says. It's going to take a group of parents willing to be the first to stand up and say no to smart phones and social media, and others will join us and are joining us. There are also solutions that are outside the box. My high school students have a Gabb phone. It can call, text, and take pictures. No internet. They spend plenty of time communicating with friends. They have a school-issued Chromebook for schoolwork. My younger kids are homeschooled and for fun they just play outside with the neighborhood kids like we used to do in the 80's.

[@suxix7312]

I remember in the 1990s growing up and not having phones. I went out on my bike all day and came home by dark. No one called and bothered. No one constantly needed to know where I was. It was a simpler time. I was a child and I was allowed to live like a child. Thankgod!

[@ThEDyLnCaLi]

As parents, we must be Authoritative, not Authoritarian. Authoritative is not "do as I say or else", nor is it, "Okay sweetie, you can have what ever you want just don't beat me", It's about establishing a relationship of mutual respect, in validating ones emotions, as well as setting consequences that are proportionate to the behaviour.

[@Bushwhack-lmao_xD]

my mom just said "listen to me, i birthed you"

[@thefantommemes8039]

yeah this exactly my mom talks to me about my feelings and when I'm upset but that also means I've learned to listen when shes upset, i am gen alpha, my mom is an actual authority there are rules and i cant do whatever i want but she also listens to my concerns and i think that's important

[@gwenpicchi5719]

See, this is the problem with humans like us. We talk logic and common sense. It's turning that talk into action that we struggle with. I absolutely agree with you, I'm just not sure how to make being a good parent like what you describe a requirement. Parenting classes/licenses?

[@tenderlands]

Well said.

[@bijoumarie8817]

I have a 2 year old, this convinced me even more that she’s not getting a smart phone until high school. And no phones at school EVER. Teachers should be allowed to collect all phones at the beginning of class. Any parent who argues this is delusional

[@sonicpsycho13]

The problem you'll run into is the fact that you'll want the ability to contact your kid. Once you start leaving them at home alone, you'll want to be able to contact them or for them to contact you. Same with them being out of the house. Most of your peers don't have landlines and payphones are extinct.

[@Dupont728]

​@@sonicpsycho13 you don't need a smart phone for that, get a flip phone or phone with no Internet access. That's what we do with our kids

[@bijoumarie8817]

@@sonicpsycho13 I’m gonna get her a flip phone for calls n texts only 😭

[@g.k.2795]

i started biking to school when i was young and i got my moms old phone with no memory and really just the ability to text & call so if anything happened my parents would know. i know some places still sell flip phones too because thats what a few of my friends had. doing that i was able to have a phone without really having the distraction of a phone and my parents knew where i was. i also got my first real phone in highschool as well which, honestly, was probably the best time to get it. at least for me

[@OhsweetOhno]

@@bijoumarie8817at my high school in North Carolina it’s actually enforced that all the teachers have to take up the kid’s phone at the beginning of class. If you’re caught with tour phone in class its taken from you till the end of the day when your parent has to pick it up from the office. You also get a ‘write up’ which stays on your school record

[@SurrealSketches]

As a gen alpha, I’m personally disappointed in my generation. (I’m 13, I was born in 2011.) The most narcissistic person I know also happens to be the most screen addicted person I know. Coincidence? No. I have friends who will invite me to their house, only to start scrolling the moment I get there. I have friends whose screen time is over 8 hours per day. They’re wasting their lives and I know they’ll regret not having any memories from their childhoods. So many kids at school are so phone addicted that they’ll break the rule of no phones, just to scroll on TikTok. They don’t learn any important life skills, they don’t have an attention span, they don’t have a life. The worst part is, so many people my age make fun of me for not knowing the latest trends or popular songs. It’s becoming bad to NOT be phone obsessed. Wtf My parents aren’t perfect, but I’m eternally grateful they didn’t just shove me into the world of social media when I was little.

[@Itzsofiiz]

It might me hard sometimes to “not be like the other kids” but don’t give into it just because the majority of them are doing something you aren’t. It’s the social pressure we all have and had have in one way or another ( now more than ever with these kids being raised by the internet ), and let me tell you despite those moments you wish you were like them, you as an individual have so much more personality and values others might not have yet. This is an amazing trait of yours you don’t have to change!

[@Ermwhattheflip1]

finally a 13 yr old that can actually speak and make a point

[@randomfellow27]

Yeah I'm the only person who doesn't watch tiktok in my year???

[@Poptartsburger]

I agree, especially about schools I think the only time you should use your phone in school if it's a emergency

[@ImAWeirdo666]

Your not gen alpha. Gen alpha starts in 2013.

[@mibirdai]

I hate to admit the fact that I myself was an iPad kid. I got angry when my tech was taken away, I felt entitled when I posted to social media at WAYYY too young of an age. And I felt my brain literally rotting away. Thankfully my mum was actually a good parent and punished when I did bad things. I hated her at the time Ofc but seeing this generation now?? Thank fuck she was tough with me. I deleted TikTok when I realised it did more harm than good (haven’t been on it since 2019), I started using my phone less and less when I’m outside and it scares me how addicted we all are, whether we realise or not. I sit at school with my friends and we talk and laugh. Then I turn around and the large group of boys behind us aren’t talking. Their all staring at their phones and they look so small. The biggest is when I’m in the waiting room at the doctors. I look around at the posters and the people and the old wooden toys I used to adore playing with as a child. And I see a kid sitting right next to them, eyes stuck to her phone. I’m not saying I’m better than everyone, my screen time is still atrocious when I’m home. But I know when to put the screen down. The moment I step out that door, my phone stays in my pocket. Only coming out if I need music or maps. It’s nice being able to see the world again.

[@Emj2679]

"Never would have guessed giving kids everything they want with zero repercussion would make a narcissist"

[@birdiewolf3497]

That's not the full story tbh. What people forget is the neglect. It’s giving them whatever they want so the parents don’t have to deal with them. That’s the main issue. Because if you are a parent that actually spends time with your kids and engage with them, they probably wouldn’t be narcissists just because you give them whatever they want. Now they will have a distorted worldview for sure. But narcissism? Probably not.

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 who knew?

[@jordonlongley6576]

In a society of narcissists, not being one is a fatal move. It’s moloch worship. A race to the bottom. This is how all civilizations collapse.

[@w0ah._ariii]

as a gen z, i'm so glad my parents didn't give me a normal ipad or phone right away. i had a leapfrog, nintendo ds, wii, kindle, etc. plus, i wanted to go outside. i'm so glad my parents were in my life and not gluing me to a screen. it scares me sm that ppl aren't going outside as much or not learning how to be a decent human. this is actually just insane obviously not every kid bc i know kids that still go outside but the way that some kids are so against it scares me a bit😭

[@StarbitDevil]

As a Gen alpha on the brink of gen Z, I look at stuff like this and realize it probably was for the better

[@heatherz6341]

gen z was honestly the last generation to have a normal upbringing pretty much, and i’m grateful for that.

[@lukebytes5366]

Kind of shocked how close that catalogue of devices represented mine as a kid.

[@Bushwhack-lmao_xD]

my parents glued me to a screen- i came out as an introvert bc i spent my whole life indoors bc NOBODY LET ME GO OUTSIDE AT ALL GROWING UP :/ so now i dont like going outside -_-

[@pigeonriot1011]

only we can change that. as gen z i was the same, i grew up outdoors playing with friends, but i see the opposite from my ipad baby niece. she spends every moment she can with a screen in her face. until we went on a trip to the beach where i got to show her beach roaches, and how clams rebury themselves to hunt, and other beach facts. just through that trip i got her into collecting shells, rocks, or bones. kids still want to go outside, but with the constant stimuli from a screen they see no reason too, outsides boring compared to 17 roblox lobbies each with 500 other kids and a collection of games to play. now its up to us to show them the outdoors and how to entertain themselves with nature and their natural curiosity, cause their millennial parents obviously aren't doing it.

[@jordangann7438]

That video was an example of permissive parenting, gentle parenting enforces boundaries without yelling or spanking, permissive parenting has zero boundaries.

[@aries_8197]

Thank god someone else pointed it out, I agree with the rest of the video but that part just made my eyes roll that people are still misunderstanding and mislabeling gentle parenting. That wasn’t an example of “accidental permissive parenting” it is permissive parenting

[@JohnathanFallSeasonGuy]

The problem is that real Gentle Parenting is hard, Permissive Parenting is easy, it’s neglect by any other name.

[@bleakaf]

Say it again louder for the people in the back. I think we are at a really difficult time in history where a lot of teachers (due to training, establishment culture, budget cuts, time pressures, having to pick up where parents for whatever reason have dropped the ball) are actually quite hardline about punishment and discipline. They see gentle parenting as an affront to their authority and moan about how it's ruining everything. But I see gentle parenting as different to authoritarianism AND to permissive parenting. There is a difference between calling a child spoiled or self-entitled and them having autonomy. If we only value compliance, fo you know where that leads? Abuse, often. Children unable to stand up for their own selves because they have been taught they do not matter.

[@nielskorpel8860]

"BuT kIdS nEeD tO ReSpEcT mY aUtHoRiTy. aNd ThEy NeEd To Do So As WiLlINgLy As If It DoEsN't NeEd tO bE eArNeD."

[@Bushwhack-lmao_xD]

my parents feed my sibling whatever he wants bc if he doesnt "he'll starve" let him starve >:/ he will LEARN to eat properly >>:L

[@AddilynLuck]

Dude I’m gen alpha (2013) I’m almost 12 AND EVEN I DONT HAVE SKIN CARE why do these 4 year olds have skin care, I’m genuinely concerned.

[@grizwastheshizz]

My darling, at almost 12 you’re still way too young to be worried about this. Just keep clean, hydrated and happy

[@moonknight2865]

Why are you here? Go outside and play.

[@pinkfruitrcta]

Tutor here. I tutor a lot of Gen Alpha students, primarily 10-12. They are HORRIFIC. This one student I had would not get off her phone for ANYTHING. When I told her mom, she told me that it was her phone and I couldn't do anything. Then blamed me when I didn't wanna tutor her because it was just an hour of arguing about her phone.

[@LLLadySSS]

The real issue I'm seeing here is the PARENTS. THEY ARE IDIOTIC

[@vectoon3739]

In your clause or contract, you should put something along the lines of "If the student brings their phone to tutoring, you will not tutor them"

[@thefantommemes8039]

hey gen alpha here i have a nokia and very good grades, I'm 12 almost 13 born in 2011, i had very good parents they had boundaries and rules, i just wanna say those kids are menaces and you should stand your ground and not give in to those awful parents, i wouldn't wanna tutor those kids either

[@Av3ry3200]

​@@thefantommemes8039Twins lol same with me!! I do have trouble being on youtube too long or rhythm games, but if other kids the same age as me can hardly even read ans have a breakdown when their device is taken, i always remind myself that makes me not as bad and atleast im not THAT chronically online

[@Cel-xq6pp]

I used to tutor and I eventually quit because I was so tired of arguing with parents about their kids not focusing. Our parents were right, it really is those damn phones!

[@orangemc9358]

If there was EVER a perfect time to raise your voice, it is when your child is bolting for the street. For the love of god, gentle parenting is devolving into "don't stress our children in the slightest, even if it's necessary for their growth of survival."

[@DieGurkenfresser]

Or grabbing their hands If they refuse to respect the "dont pet dogs without asking". So many Kids get injured because they do. Yes the Kid might cry, but only because it got surprised. Better than having it cry Out of pain for hours.

[@The-one-and-only-Fruitcake]

There’s a couple parents on KZbin that i absolutely love, one being Torii Phantom Recently i saw a video where they were explaining why they yelled at their child. The child mistook an alcohol wipe for a tissue and almost wiped her eye with it. Tori, of course, yelled to not do that because that’s the fastest way to get the kid to stop before she hurts herself After the fact, tori apologized for scaring the daughter, but said that they’re not sorry for yelling because they didn’t want the kid to get hurt I love Tori

[@bellathomas7286]

Yes as a nanny and former preschool teacher with a certification in Montessori, we do yell in safety situations! It shouldn't be as hard as that mom is making it out to be. The point is if you mess up or yell or snap, you come back later and say "Hey, I wanted to apologize for yelling at you this morning. I was already feeling really overwhelmed and when you kept asking for cookies I couldn't keep it together anymore. No one should be yelling at you, and I'm sorry I did that." Then you can have a conversation about being respectful and asking for things nicely. It's a lot of work, yes, but it shouldn't be taking "40 minutes of brainpower".

[@SigFigNewton]

@@The-one-and-only-Fruitcakeyelling is a super useful tool. Especially when rarely used

[@DanniBby]

I think you mean “permissive parenting” because the term gentle parenting doesn’t mean to be gentle.

[@lukewignall4490]

The guy talking around the 14-minute mark hits the nail on the head. The peacefulness that millennials could experience growing up has now gone. These quiet moments throughout the day when there was no-one around and where you could just relax your mind were priceless.

[@justaname999]

Do you never go hiking? Running or swimming? Or just write or draw something, or play an instrument? Even my kids who are 3 and 5 will very often just sit quietly and look at or read books or make up stories for themselves or us that they reenact with their toys. They are allowed to have screen time as well, just not excessive and not anything they want. But that doesn't render them incapable of touching grass and connecting with people or of sitting quietly doing something by themselves. How much of this loss of peace is a choice? Nobody is making us be online.

[@TheYoungKilljoy]

​@@justaname999You're so right about this. On the other hand, many jobs, schools, and stores require us to check emails every single day, watch instructional videos, scan qr codes for absolutely everything. God, where I live you can no longer go to the reception, you have to make doctor appointments on a website. A great part of this is imposed onto people, because so many institutions and companies decided they were going to move all of their procedures to online spaces. But, another part is definitely a personal choice. For kids, they don't have to do online banking or anything, this is just straight up abuse and neglecting them.

[@Brunette_2005]

Millennials, the parents of Gen Alpha

[@Dinoboots]

How tf can you accept a laser hair removal sponsorship when talking about how disgusting the obsession on looks have become with the youngest generation

[@grravesend]

millennial white woman 🤯 they’re hypocrites!

[@puvaneshahee]

I mean this video isnt geared towards children...the target audience can decide whether or not this is a product they need or want

[@matrixfan58]

How can you enjoy a single malt when you said you think it's a bad idea to give kids liquor?!!!

[@ortamatama5479]

It's ironic that as more people become dependent on their smartphones (including elders) they inadvertently increase children's screen time. I've noticed that grandparents, unable to be without their phones -- often lend them to their grandkids, despite parents setting boundaries. They feel sorry for the children who appear "bored while waiting." This cycle of increasing screen dependency is concerning ://.

[@dragoncat3499]

To quote my friend, "giving smartphones to the elderly was like introducing smallpox to the native americans"

[@br3achbirth]

My mother in law won't watch her grandkids unless they bring our tablets. And they don't like going over there because Grandma is "boring" because she just sits there watches CNN all day. Every generation is stuck to their own screens.

[@swifteye1]

It’s definitely odd to me that people talk so much about young people’s dependence on screens without speaking of their parents and grandparents and how they interact with screens. I’ve known lots of older adults get smart phones late in life and suddenly spend every waking minute on the device. It’s not just the kids - these devices are addictive for everyone.

[@cake_train]

People don’t realize that being bored isn’t always bad thing. It forces people to become more creative and use their imaginations. Plus there are going to be times in your life where you’re just going to have to be bored. Learning to entertain yourself or keep your mind busy is such an important skill I’m seeing less and less of

[@adriennethiery5432]

@@cake_trainyes! I’ve noticed in American culture there’s an obsession with keeping children entertained. In the long run it does more damage because the child doesn’t know how to be still with their thoughts and is always looking for a dopamine fix

[@kairosyf]

I am 17 and my big brother is 19, we both find internet really addicting and often joke about the internet memes or shit, but from back we both feel really bad for the little kids that consume the same content as us, we find it addicting and somehow stop outselves but little kids dont have the "stop myself" ability. We really feel bad, genuinely

[@belajadevotchka2]

Addictive. The word is addictive. Not addicting.

[@kairosyf]

@@belajadevotchka2 oh sorry for not being a native english speaker and doing a highschooler who learn english only in school mistake.

[@belajadevotchka2]

@@kairosyf Whatever your reason, now you know. I appreciate when someone kindly points something out to me that could help me in improving myself.

[@kairosyf]

@@belajadevotchka2 yea I might have reacted badly, sorry for that. Just the dot's youve putten and the serious tone of yours made me anxious and wanted to counterattack, not knowing your kind intentions. Sorry again :(

[@belajadevotchka2]

@@kairosyf I'm sorry if I came across mean. I'm old. Lol. I figured if I didn't call you a name or insult you, you wouldn't be upset. Sometimes young people are too soft, but sometimes old people can be mean, too.

[@GabrielRodriguez-l9w]

If you EVER decide to get your child a tablet/phone make sure you time it. Don't let the device raise you kid for you, that's alot of parent's mistake. Instead balance it with also pushing them to go outside and not lose their imagination. The other important thing is to ALWAYS MONITOR WHAT YOUR CHILD IS WATCHING. Tablets/phones break the imaginary transition a kid has from being an adolescent-> teen-> adult if they have full control

[@Kalani_Saiko]

THIS

[@alexj-t2331]

As a millennial I remember that the only accessible computer I could use would be facing the living room which helped to keep me from googling things out of curiosity because of embarrassment

[@whossoul]

You can time it but telling them the time can backfire. Having a set time makes it feel like a precious resource that they shouldn't waste and then they feel like they should use up that time. I never had a set amount of time for my kids, if I felt like it had been long enough I'd tell them to hop off, and some days I allowed more time than others. I especially never stated any limits. I've never had any issues with them using it too much, and they will frequently not even touch their technology all day cause they're choosing to play outside or with toys.

[@aalmondmilk]

seeing the spider-man else content from a few years ago makes me terrified for what the no restrictions kids are seeing online

[@just_a_silly_weenie008]

Amen. I feel like cutting off everything completely can make kids feel left out, but too much is bad. Parenting is so scary nowadays, I have no clue how my mother does it😭

[@tigerscott2966]

Thanks to social media sites, EVERYONE has Become their OWN reality show.

[@septanine5936]

I think the difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting is boundaries. trying to respect your kid and acknowledge their feelings is good, but when they never hear no for fear of causing negative emotions (which are good and healthy in moderation) the power dynamics flip and the parent becomes a doormat.

[@BH-2023]

Hi! Psychotherapist here! Just a reminder that gentle parenting is permissive parenting

[@septanine5936]

@@BH-2023 Ok, then I'm curious to know what the correct term is for when a parent doesn't put boundaries in place for the child, and they're unrestricted.

[@moore7897]

another reason why parenting is hard is bc weve forgotten that its not supposed to be a 1-2 person job. children are supposed to be raised by their community, not just their parents/guardians

[@alexj-t2331]

Needing more than two incomes to support a family makes even basic parenting hard

[@moore7897]

@@alexj-t2331 frfr

[@aalmondmilk]

mhm. we are so disconnected from each other and all struggling. the children are suffering from it 😢

[@paulaegraham]

No children are meant to be raised by their parents with the support of the community

[@moore7897]

@@paulaegraham i cannot tell if you are saying children shouldnt be raised by people or not

[@okok-uc8hi]

This behavior has always been here, it’s just on display for everyone to see and parents aren’t checking their kids. There has always been a “my son would never” parent and if you have been in the real world, it’s apparent

[@yaelfeder9042]

Not in that volume though😮

[@leadpencil-223]

@@yaelfeder9042 it's only "at that volume" because we have social media and cameras on every phone or device. You see it more now because more people are recording and posting things more

[@s.severn]

​@@leadpencil-223 it seems like from what teachers and ppl who have worked with kids for decades are saying, it *is* getting worse. Maybe we are also more aware of it due to social media posts but it is also actually getting worse. It makes sense with huge changes in society (like tech being used more and more) that we would see it affect people and kids development more. And now we are seeing the aftermath of these changes in culrure/society

[@leadpencil-223]

@@s.severn people said the same thing when children were just reading books. They were convinced that books were causing children to become more ill-mannered, and they were "worried for future generations". It's been happening forever, some of the older generation are always unhappy with how the new generation is acting. And it really is more noticeable because of social media, we didn't have places like tiktok and Instagram to post these videos like we do now, of course we're going to see it more because you can literally go to a dedicated hashtag for it now. Before you just heard it from your neighbor or maybe reading the papers.

[@yaelfeder9042]

@@leadpencil-223 I work in retail and see it a lot.

[@namebrandkids2558]

Time flies by SO fast when your online. I realized it's what is making life feel shorter and it's going to make people feel like they never lived their life when they're older. We're wasting away our lives

[@luisa146]

I've never wanted kids but watching these videos, and watching how people not much older than me deal with their kids, it honestly makes me even more convinced I'm not cut to be a mother. I wouldn't know how to raise a child in this world. The way I deal with social media: I just don't use them. It's easy for me. But how do I explain a 10 year old, whose peers all have phones and ipads with internet connection, maybe they were even raised with them since before they started walking, that they can't have them for their own good? No it's just not a challenge I will ever be ready to take on. I admire every young parent who tries to raise their children with healthy boundaries regarding the internet and social media.

[@wolfsmaid6815]

the best route to take is one of modeling the behaviours that you would want to see in your children. I don't own a smartphone, I rarely watch TV and our children follow my example. They are convinced that "only dumb people need smart phones". lol

[@lana-jg4ho]

@@wolfsmaid6815 exactly lol its not actuuaaaaaalllllyyy hard if you dont already use social media

[@animangle]

@@lana-jg4ho yes lmaoo, i'm a teenager and my daily average phone time is 1hr 30m. i get so annoyed when i see parents acting like they're not just as glued to their phones (if not more) than their kids. But an actual additional response is just EXPLAIN why social media is bad. My teacher, always talks to us about how it can affect our mental health and why it creates bad habits and anxiety. As well as what we can do to break these habits. She talks about it consistently for a few minutes every time she sees us, and guess what our whole class is on board with it. Being told "no" is just confusing and upsetting, being told why you can't have something helps you make sense of it and can even change your mind on wanting to have it. I've heard "the anxious generation" is a really good book.

[@TrevorHamberger]

You home school them

[@Kalani_Saiko]

@@wolfsmaid6815 Not even. Yes modelling the behaviour is good BUT making people who don't model that behaviour (like having a smart phone) out to be dumb or terrible isn't the right way to go about it either. The best option is balance. Don't go buying your kids smartphones and tablets but maybe allow them limited monitored time on a desktop computer every once in awhile. I'm Gen Z and my parents raised me similar up until the time I hit highschool (by then I could somewhat manage myself, although I was monitored). I had basic knowledge of how to use a computer for school tasks (which do definitely rely more on the internet in this day and age) AND can use outside sources such as library books. Yes, teach your kids good habits by example. No, don't teach them that people who don't do things exactly the way you do are dumb.

[@gemmaryan5095]

Thank you for differentiating Gen Z and Gen Alpha. As a Gen Z I’m SICK of hearing people conflate us. We have our own issues that have come with growing up with technology, watching our parents struggle through the 2008 recession, social media taking over our adolescence, and coming of age during the 2016-2024 elections and of course, the pandemic. But we are now learning how to navigate young adulthood. Gen Alpha are being set up for even more struggles and there is still time to nip it in the bud and help them learn to regulate emotions, develop relationships, and prepare better for adult life.

[@pckrichards7980]

Yeah. We got the slowly growing stream of tech over the course of our childhood. They’re getting the firehose right out of the gate.

[@viky_is_here]

My child is in the cusp and would rather be considered gen z 😅 but yeah, the pandemic really hit hard with no socializing or going to school.

[@KookiesNolly]

for real! i still hear people in 2024 call young middle schoolers Gen Z. I think it's mostly because as you get old you lose track of time and it can be wild to say out loud " a 13 year-old today was born in 2011".

[@_ReginaGORGE]

Black Millennial parent here, gentle parenting for so many of us is more so we not whooping them out of frustration and stress. Breaking generational traumas and cycles of abuse but also being mindful that your child is not a tool to heal yourself. Idk I feel like millennial parents get a lot of heat because of the parenting style being portrayed and the influencers portraying it. I feel like what people are seeing is performance and not really parenting, you are still an authoritative figure in their life .

[@lou-cidmire3065]

Yeah honestly I prefer to call the bad parenting "permissive parenting" (as in just letting the kid do whatever they want.) As for gentle parenting, there are still gentle & kind ways to say "no" to a kid. They need boundaries but there's also no reason to be disrespectful to them and we can at least do them the honor of explaining the reasons why. They're human beings. At age 30 I still remember the deep frustration of being a child and only ever hearing "because I SAID SO" and not the solid logical reasons for "why not" (ex. "no you can't have a cookie because dinner is in 20 minutes")

[@_ReginaGORGE]

@@lou-cidmire3065 crazy how we have a shared childhood experience but as adults and parents people will still question anything new and different but also expect us to change the narrative without changing ourselves or society.

[@MJDahl]

Millennials can’t complain cuz they are the ones raising these kids. Our parents as gen z is gen x. They are having kids in the age of the internet and it’s not their fault but they obviously don’t have many boundaries when it comes to the internet with themselves and their kids

[@Maokei]

I remember when I was camping with my mom and we were talking about make up and stuff since I had recently gotten into the stuff and she said “when you get makeup don’t put too much on, especially if it’s low quality every once a while is fine” and when talking about skincare “your still young and you skin is still good, when putting on skin care don’t truly worry about it until your 20s and just stick to moisturizer, and don’t put on things like chemicals masks, acids etc, unless it’s given by a doctor or until your 25” so glad she didn’t just buy me a shit ton of products and actually told me what to do instead of slapping on drunk elephant in my face

[@KB-si5fx]

My skin routine involves soap, water, and moisturizer. 💯

[@claraf.6833]

As a teen I had cleansers for my acne (which didn't really help tbh because the cause was hormonal), and I started wearing makeup at 13 to cover it up. We didn't have the skin care these kids have now. Serums, retinol creams, ice globes, face rollers etc were not really a thing.

[@A5H_01]

I’ve always had dry skin so I had to moisturise in teens. It’s really a case by case kind of thing. You don’t need £50 cleansers or serums to keep your skin healthy. A face mask every week or two, and a good daily cleanser and SPF moisturiser (costs me about £8) is all I’ve ever needed and it took me too long to figure that out 😂.

[@happyscavenger8940]

I don't understand why time-outs aren't considered gentle (as a recipient of them when i was little) ?! All i had to do was sit in a corner for 5-15 minutes, and it was very effective without being overly harsh. Did i misunderstand or do people really have problems with that?

[@erikabearika3249]

I see a more gentler parenting idea of giving them a break. Not viewing a break as a punishment or time out but an opportunity to regulate themselves in a calm/safe space so they can rejoin the environment

[@abigailloar956]

​@erikabearika3249 when we become adults, there are, in fact, consequences. Heavy consequences, and it is important that children understand that actions have consequences. Constantly softening everything, even something as mild as a timeout, isn't helping them. We see people pulled over by the police that get shot by them because the won't just stay in their car or do what the police officer said. Having respect for authority and an acknowledgment of consequences keeps them alive and a celebrated member of society.

[@and-oh]

sometimes a parent will see "oh, good, they're quiet, that must mean they're not upset anymore/they learned to calm down" when really the kid learned how to suppress their emotions and appear "behaved enough" to get what they want. (obviously, this depends on the parents' involvement in general, too, not just this isolated example; some kids can figure it out with context clues & what they've already learned, while others would need it spelled out more in depth -- it sounds like your parents were on top of things, so it was a simple and effective lesson for you, personally) the "gentle" view, imo, isn't saying other parenting methods are necessarily violent or non-gentle, but more that the focus should be paying attention to the kid and making sure they actually comprehend all the different life lessons they're being taught, instead of losing patience and resorting to isolating/ignoring them in timeout (without teaching them how to self-soothe first), or causing them pain (slapping/spanking/etc), or whatever other method parents might use which doesn't actually explain anything to the kid

[@alexj-t2331]

Depends on how it is done. My dad would scream at me and shove my head in the corner without giving me a time limit so I wouldn’t say that was gentle but to him since he was beaten his whole life I would say it was comparatively gentle

[@whossoul]

The main focus of gentle parenting is helping kids learn to do better. Sitting alone by a wall doesn't teach them how to handle the situation better next time. Isolating them also sends some bad messages. "Time Ins" are a newer approach to the time out. It's removing the child from the situation but instead of isolating them they take a break with the parent. You talk about what went wrong. How they were feeling leading up to it, how can they identify that feeling starting to grow before it gets so big they don't handle it well (ie "You were getting mad huh? How did that feel? Did your cheeks start to feel warm? Did you start breathing faster?") Validating the feeling but not how they handled it ("They took that toy without asking and that made you mad. It makes sense that you were mad, what they did was wrong and it's fair to be mad! Yelling at them cause they took the toy wasn't an appropriate way to show them you were mad though). Talking about how to handle it next time (You could have gotten an adult, told them to give it back, walked away till you feel calm enough to use nicer words). The major source of children (and honestly adults) rule breaking isn't a lack of understanding the rules, it's a lack of emotional regulation. Every kid knows you don't throw things or hit people. The issue isn't knowing the rule or not, and all a time out does is reminds them what the rule is. The reason kids don't follow those rules is because they can't regulate their big emotions (anger, frustration, jealousy, a sense of being wronged....) and their big emotions overrule knowing what a rule is.

[@Asteroidea111]

I always feel there will come a time when this will be watched as giving 4 year olds heroin. People will look back in shock and nobody will be able to explain it. “Those were just different times”

[@kissessaywhat]

the things i saw on the internet as a kid were traumatizing

[@NightmareRex6]

the scum tech elite do NOT allowe kids phones or tablets untill they are around 16!, but they want little billy boy there to have an apple ipad and how to ONLY work an apple ipad, now poor 1k a month parrents need to buy a 3000$ device becuase school taught them ONLY how use ipad and dont know android computer regular read and write eta.

[@whitneyd6827]

I'm a new school psychologist and im SO glad she mentioned us. People largely have no clue we exist but we're the forerunners, along with teachers, with seeing this shift. The cognitive differences in these kids are actually astounding and I'm scared for them, let alone the kids they have someday. I'm about to rant, read if you want. I haven't had many cases of my own yet (that will drastically change in a month), but I've worked with enough SPs and teachers to have heard horror stories and how things have changed. This is no joke people. This isn't just affecting behavior, it's affecting educational outcomes and even educational standards. In the US, all states are lowering their testing standards to make sure kids pass to the next grade. Ironically, if they don't they'll lose a good portion of federal funding. The standards don't actually matter for funding, only passing rates. Kids aren't getting the educational rigor they need to succeed in life and it's only feeding into their narcissistic traits because they'll always pass without trying. In every aspect of a lot of these kids' lives they're never at fault and get positive reinforcement for not putting in effort and being entitled. The rates of behavioral educational diagnoses are through the roof and teachers can't keep up with all the accommodations because they're understaffed because of behavioral issues.... For the love of god I hope this changes with the next gen raised by gen z. I'm a member of it ('99) and I have some hope. We tend to be more introspective than we're given credit for.

[@vi_raah]

Another topic adding to the reason most children don’t see their friends in person is the lack of accessibility. Kids don’t really have anywhere to meet up anymore out of school and it’s sad

[@DieGurkenfresser]

Back in my day we met at each Others Holmes, Parks and playgrounds. Everything is still around 😊

[@starliko]

@@DieGurkenfressera lot of parks and playgrounds have been torn down or are in disrepair, or teenagers are shunned by parents with small children because for some reason they think they want anything to do with them. cities / towns are becoming less walkable all the time. previous spaces for kids, tweens, and teens are being turned into different things for older age groups, and many parents don't want kids and teenagers in their house because they don't want to clean up the mess. no one is joking or lying when they say that places for gen alpha and gen z (kids and teens) are disappearing, and i really wish people would believe us when we say it, there's enough coverage and research on this that i actually was able to write a fact / quote based essay for one of my classes last year

[@johnathancactus]

@@DieGurkenfresserpersonally, i don’t feel like it’s an option, at least in my life… if i wnat to see my friends i have to drive half an hour, and there’s no places besides our houses where we can hang out… the only place near my house that i can walk to is a museum that we’d have to pay to hang out at (which dont get me wrong, it’s nice, but a museum isn’t really someplace i can hang out with friends, yknow?)

[@EpikBirb]

@@DieGurkenfresser Not if you're older than what, 10. The old park I used to go to (for the playground) is clearly made for much younger people

[@butterdog5766]

Yea and I’ve seen quite a few parents that also limit how much ppl can meet up with their friends, and also some places like malls impose restrictions that ban children without and adult from hanging out there

[@abigaelrarts2257]

i'm 31 and got a phone when i was 14, and the main reason was bc i was going to high school soon would not be supervised and my parents could get a hold of me. i think that's a good timeline for our kids, we are having our first this year. maaayyyyybe a flip phone before then but no apps. i want to keep them off of social media as long as possible. hopefully there will be enough other parents who agree so the kids dont feel like the only one without

[@abigaelrarts2257]

also t first phone was a flip phone, apps weren't a thing yet

[@er6730]

I'm 42, and I got a flip phone when I was 18ish. My first smart phone wasn't until 2012 or so. I'm in that group where the internet started being a thing when I was in high school (we had classes "here is how to look for information on the internet. Type this long string of letters and numbers in this box. You can also use a "search engine" like Ask Jeeves 😅) but my childhood was completely free of computers. I have three kids, and I have been extremely reluctant to expose them to this scene. I don't mean not putting their photos on Facebook, I'm not too bothered about that, possibly I'm wrong. But extremely strong screentime limits. My 14year old got a phone for grade 9. I both regret it, because now he's on it so much instead of making trouble around the house with his siblings, and I think it was necessary for safety and social reasons. He was one of the very last to get a phone in his age group. He wasn't thrilled but understood and even appreciated my reasons. I'm not sure what kind of boundaries to set up. Especially when my husband is addicted to his phone. I hated it before, but now I don't know how to protect against my children getting addicted. It's so difficult to say "leave your phone in the basket when you're home" when Dad refuses to. I'd encourage you to make some strong rules ahead of time, to demonstrate healthy behaviour around screens. I made the commitment that my preschool kids would never see me on the computer or phone unless I was narrating what I was doing, like "I'm looking up the weather forecast, hmm, look at this, a storm is coming" I think it was good for them. (I also enforced an hour of nap/rest every afternoon where everyone was in separate rooms, and early bedtimes, so it wasn't like I never got a chance.) I think it was very good for me and for the children. For my younger kids, it's difficult because their friends don't have a home phone. (We do) So there's so much more parental involvement necessary to arrange play dates. I find it aggravating, but maybe I'm just entering into my "get off my lawn/people these days have no sense" phase

[@amandaford8730]

I'm 35 and I got my first phone when I was 16. Fancy flip phones were out and about but they got me the basic Nokia brick phone of time and if I wanted a newer model I'd have to buy it myself. It was a responsibility. But props to me because I still have the same phone number from my first phone and everyone I meet is super shocked that I've never lost a phone (or have never needed to change my number). 😁

[@randomshorts6862]

Your doing it right try a track phone too I know they are a pain but hey let them have the pain we did it can only serve to help them be better 😊

[@nola528]

​@amandaford8730 I'm 37 and still have my same phone number too! My first phone was at 17 (2004) I believe- my senior year of high school- basic Nokia brick phone. Played lots of snake!! Lol I'm so glad to have been raised before social media and phone obsession. I plan to keep my kids from them as long as possible. My step kids are iPad kids, both had iPads way too young thanks to their mom and are now obsessed with their iPhones. She's always upgrading them to the latest phone too, it's bonkers to me. So many parents are not teaching responsibility and repect.. give your kid a basic phone where they can get in touch with you when needed. If they eventually want a smartphone, make them work to buy it themselves. How are parents even affording all these phones? They're like 1000 bucks now. I remember when we could get them for under 200 or through a free upgrade with our phone plans.

[@Vinnvinndsa]

0:11 "disciplining my toddler after physical confrontation" ive seen this before. I havent watched this video yet, and im unsure if that short is supposed to be seen as negative, but the mother actually handled in very well in the video. Being soft and kind, but stern and making sure her kid understands what he did, why he was punished, and why its not good.

[@slushdog1012]

Its positive

[@mollylarsen9812]

Hi! Im apart of gen alpha. And I'd like to tell my story of childhood so far. I was given a smartphone two grade levels for contact and such things, but Im barely on it. (I'm on my computer, and still take breaks) Im going into middle school, and my 5th grade year was very toturous. There are no Sephora's in my area, I don't care about the latest trends, and I am very smart and humble. To the videos of the children that have gone through the disrespect, it is real and I've been in the students position. I had no friends due to the fact that I do not fit in with the other children. I do not want to be an internet influencer, just something with art is what I'm aiming at. I've watched the kindest person in my school have a mental breakdown over the fact that my classmates cannot stop talking, teachers NEED to have justice in the classroom. To all the Sephora employees, teachers, and everyone who has been disrespected by my generation - I am so sorry. I cannot stress how much I am enraged by the other kids in our generation who are the sour apples. Sadly, no parents will see these videos most likely and nothing will change. But the small corner of us kids that are kind, smart, and humble in gen alpha, we exist. So please, do not give up hope on gen alpha. Thank you for reading, I apreciate it.

[@grizwastheshizz]

You sound like a lovely kid. Keep dreaming and developing your skills in art. That’s where the true joy is.

[@SM-bg2or]

I’m rooting for kids like you, and so are so many other people. I’m 22 and remember elementary/middle school vividly. The difference between kids then and now is astounding and horrifying.

[@peytoncollins3962]

6:35 I honestly think kids under 17 shouldn't be on social media at all. There are studies on this and I wish people would also focus on high schoolers on social media. The effects are still just as harmful

[@TheSpiderInUrWalls]

I’m so glad the only social media I have is YT and WhatsApp. And I didn’t have my own phone until I started high school. Social media can make you start to compare your life to others, and ruin your self esteem or body image.

[@shab_nak]

Tell me you weren't on social media as a high schooler. If you really weren't, then ok, but i still doubt that's the answer. Social media provide a chance for kids to be creative: for example, my students at school (I'm a teacher, 22) draw and write some fanfiction. Blaming Internet is the same as blaming videogames for violence; however, it's more the parents, who didn't taught their kids any basic morality rules, who are to blame. I started noticing it when I worked at the summer camp: I usually have many problems with parents, who were teens in 90s and 2000s. Maybe it's a generalization, but they're, I don't know, just effing irritating sometimes.

[@Demonetization_Symbol]

I started at 11 and I turned out fine.

[@firstlast9855]

I was online since I was 9 and I completely agree

[@Window4503]

⁠@@shab_nakI’m older Gen Z and I wasn’t on social media. I was/am into art and never found not being on social media a hindrance to my creativity. You know, it’s possible to make things and share them in person. A large anonymous audience isn’t necessary. In fact, keeping things in-person is how friends are made. I’ve also noticed that unfettered access to the best art often paralyzes learning artists and makes them feel like their work is trash. As soon as that easy comparison is constantly in their faces, that’s how you end up with thousands of social media comments saying “I’m 14, and my art sucks. Should I just give up because it’s too late?” That mindset wasn’t as bad as it is now.

[@redhot654]

I like gentle parenting in some situations but children also require their parents to be strong leaders. From working in childcare I've seen a lot of parents who are too burnt out to discipline their kids. Two income families are exhausted from trying to balance careers with parenthood, and stay at home moms are exhausted and lonely from their lack of a 'village'.

[@BloggerErin]

This! These parents are burning themselves out to make a better living for themselves and their families. There’s little to no support available without a substantial pay wall. I feel bad for the parents too, nine times out of ten I see tired and defeated parents with kids acting out like this. Of course there are some who are turning their own kids into little influencers but I feel like the majority are just trying to find their way in a very lonely sea. 😔

[@luisapaza317]

"village" and community

[@coralfrisch]

Honestly, you cannot allow your child to dictate your life so much that you’re burnt out as a parent. Gentle parenting is great but sometimes you need to give a firm ‘no’. Nobody is perfect and trying to be perfect to your children by always avoiding fighting or harsh words is what’s raising these kids to be this way. I’m all for gentle parenting when it’s permissible, but we cannot always protect our children from yelling, negative feelings, or harsh words. This is absolutely an unrealistic way to parent for both the parents and the children.

[@Demonetization_Symbol]

Discipline is abuse

[@mondaysocks]

Some people may be confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting. With gentle parenting you can day a firm no and stick to boundaries, you also help the child label and manage their emotions e.g. I can see you are angry you can't have the tablet right now, would you like a hug or do you need 5? Permissive parenting is the parenting with lack of boundaries, lack of no, letting children always get their way etc.

[@elise2892]

Is anyone else here not a parent but still finds her advice very valuable?

[@rosetea6590]

99 percent of people will have a young person they care about in their life I have my cousins and my boyfriend's nephew who are all very young and so being aware of this stuff can help us be better and more effective mentors

[@Mew_Kyuu]

As a minor, yep! Also explains the behavior of my classmates who regularly post themselves on TikTok (for the record, I don't have it and am quite glad I don't)

[@elise2892]

@@Mew_Kyuu Also a minor without TikTok, and I definitely agree

[@angela_tarantulas]

Me! I‘m 40yo and have no kids.

[@Desperado070]

What?!? did we not already do that with the last generation? 😂 I thought my memory was bad until I talked with someone of around 25. They unable to keep their mind on one topic and if they not enjoying the topic they can't even pay attention at all. That was the first generation that grew up with computers, laptops and mobile phones. What do you think this next generation will be? We better off setting the gold fish free and just put them in the bowl instead.

[@megancox9549]

Interesting analysis, I do think every generation worries about the next one as children. But this change is so much more than prior childhoods…it’s important to be cognizant of this and try to have a balance of keeping the kids in the modern world while allowing them to be kids like we were.

[@somethingsomething9479]

I am an adult and I was gentle parented; when I fucked up as a kid, my parents would sit me down and *explain* in (honestly gruesome, sometimes) detail what effect my actions could have on other people. For as long as I can remember, I've known not to be mean to people because I was taught empathy (if someone did this to you, you'd probably feel X, and it would be... so don't do it to others, you don't want to make others feel like that, do you?) from the moment I was old enough to have object permanence. Never a mean word from my parents, but sometimes angry or sad words because well... that was the consequences of my actions. I made dad upset by giving him the finger, do you understand what it means that you did that? You won't do it again, right? No, that's good. Sometimes they probably overdid it in the details and scenarios they spun for me but oh well. Perfect parenting doesn't exist

[@LittleSparklingStars]

For me, completely the opposite. Talking about feelings is rare in this household. I’ve been punished by being locked up in a cold dark room. Very boomer style raised.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

“Gentle parenting” is just a buzzword to refer to normal parenting, because everything needs a buzzword these days. The concept of getting off your phone and talking to your kids is apparently a novelty now but when I was a kid in the 90’s it was just called parenting

[@RedwingBB]

Once when I was really little, my parents were burning rubbish in the backyard (I'm old; people did that back then) and I thought it would be funny to yell FIRE!! They explained in very much detail what would happen if the FD came to our house for no reason while another family had a real fire and no help. Scared straight 😢

[@rachelesmith3342]

What’s weird is millennials complaining about new generations of kids as if they aren’t the parents and grandparents of these kids 💀💀

[@randomshorts6862]

Some of us Mililanils especially Childless ones like me do apologize but we're not exempt from having idiots 😂 in our generation too we're human as well lol I have to use spell check to even talk sometimes did you notice we're are running to Gen X for help look at all, your andsestors its the best course to show you how to go into the future lol we try but as Generations before us we fail at being parents too we're on the same platform trying to make money 💰 like you becuase we are older you lol 😅 you'll be here too one day with Gen Alpha and below let the world 🌎 burn 🔥 stay a kid stay off the tech unless in spare time or needed for education 🔧 🔨 🗜 🧰 🔍 🔎 ⏲️ be a child as long as you possibly can 😊

[@allison5487]

Parents and grandparents?! How old do you think millennials are? Most millennials don't even have kids yet. I'm 41 and in the first couple years of millennials. My oldest kid is 10.

[@nicoler5713]

I mean... a lot of us aren't? Of everyone I know, I know maybe... 2 or 3 people who have kids, and I am solidly millennial and everyone I know is solidly millennial.

[@Epatt95]

Grandparents???? I’m 28 😭

[@rachelesmith3342]

Okay I guess we can all play dumb then and act like the kids from Gen Alpha just randomly got dropped off on earth by aliens on something. Millenials are the primary sets of parent groups in the U.S followed by Boomers. Am I missing something

[@juratory8876]

Honestly, Millennial parents are to blame atp. Maybe don't turn your kid into an influencer just to live vicariously through them and actually let them go outside and play.

[@AM-uk7jv]

Millennial parents going full circle by creating the next generation of future boomers. As much as we millennials hate boomers, a lot of us sure are creating offspring that will have the same narcissistic, self serving traits boomers have.

[@GhostofTheUchiha22]

I am a 08 baby who is younger gen z. Even though i have used the internet since i was 6 and it raised me in a way, it was instilled into my very being to respect others and be a nice person. A ton of other teenagers my age don't know how to respect a teacher and do the bare minimum to pass the class. Those teachers aren't paid enough to deal with their antics and although they aren't gen alpha, they are still bad.

[@baileyisobelle]

I'm an 07 and I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of social media addiction, ignorance of other people's experiences, and even lack of simple knowledge of basic grammar and spelling is disheartening at the least. I am one of maybe 10-15 students at my school (grades 9-12 and around 250 students) who knows "you're vs your", "there vs their vs they're", etc. I used the word "melancholy" in my English class and only the teacher knew what it meant. And every person in my school has immature mindsets that are perpetuated by tiktok (extreme jealousy, disloyalty to romantic partners, disrespect to others for "humour") and it seems as though most of them believe that being self centred, mentally ill, or just downright hateful are all personality traits to be aspired towards. Our generation and the one after us are- for lack of a better term- completely fucked. I'm still holding out hope that there will be some sort of social media ban/ restriction for people our age and younger to really show the youth what life can be like if we just disconnected for once. I say this as someone who was formerly addicted to social media and after 2 years of therapy, i finally realized it was ruining my life.

[@Miriam_And_OtherThings]

Im an 09 baby, and I feel the exact same way, my parents were so strict with the internet for me, I was still allowed to play flags games etc but no social media aleyas watching things that are appropriate, and got my first phone at the start of Covid, and even then it was fairly old, when I look at the difference between my classmates and I, I feel so sad because genuinely all of them constantly have their phones on their desks at all times, thankfully it is getting better as we’re getting into exam year but still it’s concerning

[@Gyarukeir]

also an 08 and absoulety agree i also grew up on the internet and damn those kids our ages be rude asf

[@sorryimsunny]

Hi! Late gen Z (born in 2009, I'll be 15 in a month and a half) here. I wanted to give my own perspective on things as someone who's experienced both ends of the spectrum (violent parenting vs permissive parenting), and as someone who has been given a screen to use since I was very young, around 3 or 4 or so. I think it's important to get out of the way first that my own views will be slightly skewed due to trauma (that isn't mentioned in this post) and this will definitely not be everyones experience, and that I'm terrible with boundaries so I apologize if I overshare or anything. Edit: I'm also physically disabled and have a birth deformity, so like I said my experience will be different from others. I've been on social media pretty actively since around 9, but I've been watching youtube since around 6 or 7. Being on social media that young (especially without restricted internet access) can definitely mess you up, and I've already seen things I can very likely assume I should not be seeing at this age. It's definitely affected my development in some way, and it's very hard to undo now. My doctors already want to test me to see if I have any personality disorders, despite me only being 14. That being said, they do mostly want to look at cluster C (specifically AVPD and DPD), not anything like NPD, but I've looked at the diagnostic criteria NPD (I have an interest in psychology) and I fit around 7 of the 9 criteria, so I'm definitely not exempt from this narcissism epidemic or whatever it is. Though, I have found many of my interests through the internet, like classic books (my favourites are Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, 1984, and The Picture of Dorian Gray :3) and music for example, as well as meeting many friends on there. I should also mention that my mom thinks I'm autistic, though I've been tested twice for it and it's came back negative both times so we aren't really sure. 🤷 The different parenting styles thing is also something I should go more in depth on. For context, I currently live with my mom and stepdad, and my mom and dad divorced when I was around 3 or so. I'm also my parent's first and only child. My mom is a permissive parent, and I could argue possibly even neglectful, as I'm not being taught any skills by her. Like, _nothing._ I don't know how to set up my own bath, I didn't know how to actually bathe properly until yesterday (I had to ask for help from an online friend), I don't know how to take showers, don't know how to cook, clean, or anything else I should at least know the basics of at this age. She shows permissive behaviour, as I never really see my mom putting her foot down with me. On the other end of the spectrum, my dad was fairly violent with me as he's had a couple of CPS reports on him, and my own violent behaviour is likely attributable to him. Sorry if that isn't a lot nor doesn't give you enough insight to my own perspective I'm just trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't share lol ;-;

[@lizs4924]

Find new doctors. Any doctor considering diagnosing a personality disorder in an adolescent, is part of the problem in mental health. Your brain is still developing, and the hormones with puberty can look a lot like problem areas, but give it time to see if you improve into adulthood.

[@randomshorts6862]

Your going to be OK in my opinion you seem to be able despite your many handicaps and tramras be capable of cognitive fuction continue what you've been doing go to thd doctors undo what lil of the cycle you can and no worries there is plenty of time to learn everything you do not know how to do like laundry cooking and dishes some of us Mililanils who are only 30yrs old still have a hard time figuring out ourselves ask someone like your friend did before to teach you and only id you absolutely have to in your spare internet time ⏲️ look up on basic KZbin how to do these things its learn able no matter age or ability trust me we all need to have a lil more trust it will go a long way 😊 take my advice unless needed try to learn from your very own ancestors and not just the tech its a convinceance and a luxury and if utilized right can also be a beneficial tool please go lookup everything you can about the past for that is your very best tool as to how to live in the future your still young there is hope there is time It's not Mililanils time yet it will be someday just as the younger crowds will get there time as well but wr cannot abandon all our ancestors to do that if we do we are very indeed as they said to us as kids in the wrong. VOTE at 18 that's the best you can help out with for a min. I recommend democrats but that's only a suggestion and opinion not a fact I won't make the mistakes my parents did and tell you how to vote I will only give you advice at best its all I can do as a community educator on this platform I take that title and wear it pride because my parents allowed it to happen I can't wait to see your own proudly held title in the future 😉 USA 🇺🇲 🇺🇸 🕊

[@Hmclaughs]

Just want to say you seem very intelligent and well spoken, and we have a lot in common, I am disabled, born w a birth defect, have trauma and mental illness & i like the same books etc. I'm 28 but have been using a computer since I was 3 & got my first flip phone in middle school so I did get to experience somewhat of a screen free childhood. I have extremely permissive Buddhist parents but for a while I lived w my sister and she raised me with more structure. God do I wish I had more discipline growing up now that I'm an adult and am still learning how to function like one! I empathize a lot with that I know you're still learning and growing and I think your curiosity is so important. Your desire to know yourself is really powerful and you are still developing who you are so right now finding labels for yourself might not be easy as you will go thru sooooo many changes, especially in the next decade. Being inquisitive like you has helped me overcome a lot of stuff just purely based on the desire to learn and understand myseld and others. (My psych team also questions if I am on the autism spectrum but due to my genetic disorder that causes hypersensitivity they're hesitant to diagnose) like i said, I see a lot of myself in what you wrote and that's not necessarily all that bad 😅 I think the fact you are working to be more self aware and to better yourself and you actually care about these things are a good sign that you're not necessarily narcissistic but actually just hypervigilant and yearning to understand. I hope I don't come across as some older person trying to be patronizing as ik I'm giving unsolicited advice rn but I'm just trying to convey what i wish somebody told me, that, basically, don't get too hung up on attaching labels to yourself right now, although it does help to compartmentalize and better understand yourself in the short term that doesn't mean it's a life sentence. Everyone is capable of change and everything you're doing, the tools and resources you're acquiring now, will all influence you on your journey thru life!! Ty so much for sharing! I enjoyed reading your experience (not the trauma parts, my heart hurts for you there) but it's reassuring to see someone young & bright that I can relate to bc it gives me hope!! I apologize if any of this comes off as rude or unwarranted I just want you to know I think you're doing great and im proud of you and support you on your search to know yourself

[@Hmclaughs]

​@@lizs4924I second this as well!! Which is why I said don't get too hung up on labels for now. I've been diagnosed with everything in the book and had to do a lot of work to get undiagnosed and find out what actually was going on. I also developed an addiction due to narcotic medications given to me in ELEMENTARY school believe it or not (now almost 4 years sober) so always advocate for yourself at the Doctor and remember that YOU know yourself and while, it may be comforting to find a label and community you relate to, that doesn't necessarily mean a diagnosis is right for you if that makes any sense?

[@TheMerFree]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. This is very important! I hope you continue to reach out to others for support, and that a whole New World of learning is open to you. You’ll be learning how to do all kinds of things for yourself, even if mom won’t teach you, make use of those KZbin tutorials if you’re on there anyway! You can do so much more than you ever imagined. ❤

[@mvsicl0ver]

As a 2010 I'm often called an "old soul" or "special" etc, just because I'm not addicted to social media or my phone, and I'm polite to strangers and my elders. I grew up with a Gen Z childhood and I didn't get a phone until 11 (still young but I was the last girl in my class to get one) and I didn't have an iPad until 9! I'm often seeing kids in my class flexing bad grades or being seen as "brave" or "cool" for not respecting teachers, and I'm seeing kids flexing losing their v-card at 12, 13, 14 and on. So many kids are fucked up this generation and I honestly hate being grouped up with these kids. Along with that my brother, 5 years old, has a tantrum everytime he can't have his iPad, or doesn't get his way. I have no clue how this generation is going to be when they're older but I know it won't be good.

[@Jemilylover]

Same with me, except I got an IPad at 12 and a phone at 11

[@Jemilylover]

I don’t understand why the fuck people my age want to lose their V-Card

[@Mygloriouskingcarti08]

@@Jemilyloverthere’s always been a generation where younger people want to be considered older or more mature

[@theflyingspaget]

​@@Jemilyloverthey always have, the pressure starts when you're like 12 and just gets worse from there. Good news, half of your classmates are lying about it anyways.

[@characterblub2.0]

As an older person (holy crap I graduated when you were 6???), unfortunately the virginity loss brags aren't new. But also. I was heavily pressured into doing it when I was 13 by a 16 year old, and the only way I could cope with what happened there was to try to brag about it like everyone else did, because not having the power to say no was for some reason more humiliating. I don't know what kind of disrespect happens now, but it's definitely always been there. Most of those kids grew up to be criminals or strung out though. Really unfortunate.

[@miamarks2925]

Kids need to be taught that their feelings and needs DO matter by their thoughts feelings and needs aren't the only ones that matter and they're not always right

[@kikiuniki3406]

It's not the internet; it's the complete lack of discipline and basic parenting. Too many of my generation jumped on the gentle parenting bandwagon but missed the part where discipline and boundaries are neccessary for proper social development. I have three kids, and they aren't lawless little jackasses; because we discipline them. Bad behavior has consequences, and it's better that they learn it from me now than the judicial system later. We can love our kids and emotionally connect with them, while still maintaining the role of parent. Good morals aren't inherent- they're taught.

[@Kalani_Saiko]

Discipline and gentle parenting aren't mutually exclusive.

[@Sandy-of6gq]

I agree with this. So many people take gentle parenting minus the boundaries and it ends up being neglectful parenting that creates maladjusted tech addicted kids

[@lottiereads]

exactly!!

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

@@Sandy-of6gq exactly

[@alexj-t2331]

My Gen X mom was abused and overparented by her parents and so she was pretty permissible and didn’t believe in “grounding” her kids but to take stuff away if they got in trouble. Problem was she never was consistent on this and never fully committed to the full amount of punishment that she threatened and was easy to soften on her stances. However she was also a single mom receiving no child support and was a nursing student who also worked a couple jobs at the time so she never stood a chance.

[@erinnadia0409]

I'm so tired of gentle parenting, this week my client's kid punched me and the mum just said "aw honey would you like a sticker?" 😂 then the stickers ended up all over my office floor, I had to stay back after work with a spatula to remove the stickers. As someone who had Catholic Slavic boomer parents. I would have been so dead if I ever behaved like that as a child. I remember going to appointments and having to sit quietly with my teddy and just cuddle my toy as I wait.

[@FullmoonPhantom-dn2sr]

Agreed. My brother and his family are the same way about gentle parenting. (They love it, I mean.) I’m so tired of it as well. They also are the type to think adults should be playmates to their children. Adults should teeter totter on a playground with the child as though they are little children as well. Instead of kids playing together without the need of adult playmates. It’s so frustrating visiting and having them act like it’s a play date and you’re one of the children. It also just doesn’t make sense in some scenarios like teeter tottering. Love my nephew and my new soon to be niece, but sometimes I just don’t get my brother. I don’t get these types of parents. Edit: I understand wanting to take a softer approach to parenting since I know boomer parents were a lot at times, but this is just too much. Too far in the overly permissive direction. At least with my brother and some other parents like this I’ve seen.

[@starryeyes999]

gentle parenting is not letting your kids punch and claw people, thats a neglectful/permissive parent

[@Demonetization_Symbol]

I feel so bad for you.

[@Demonetization_Symbol]

​@@starryeyes999I agree

[@iamjackspyramidshapedhelmet]

That’s not gentle parenting

[@viccn]

with all due respect to the time and research in this video (im sure its just not smtn u thought to add!) there is SO much missing from this conversation.. nothing mentioned at all abt how work is influencing parenting, how poverty and other stress factors SIGNIFICANTLY influence the quality of parenting ppl are capable of providing and the fact that IT TAKES A VILLAGE!!!! everyone loves to say this when its time to celebrate teachers and aunties but there is much less conversation highlighting how hyper-individualized and anti-community western (colonial) cultures are and how this impacts our development. 'gentle parenting' is not possible alone and most parents have little to NO support networks at all. so many are single parents or nuclear families with no extended family in the home or within 5, 10, 20, even 30 minutes away. NO PARENT - no matter how intelligent, compassionate, educated, financially stable, kind and loving - is capable of effectively parenting alone. it is so easy to blame 'lazy' parents, uneducated parents, even nasty parents that dont accept help (the parents that are unkind to educators etc.. the external pressure they feel to do it perfectly alone is also valid - though yelling at u is not) but the reality is that we have only gotten this far through community and collaboration, and it is the only way we will move forward. i only hope that a few ppl will see this comment and reflect a bit on how we collectively approach this conversation. i havent seen many videos from this creator - maybe she touches on it elsewhere! and if shes reading this i hope its received as constructive :-)

[@LindaCornell3069]

I'm childfree. I see my nieces and nephews, most Gen Alpha, disrespecting us older people. It's horrifying that these kids are our future.

[@organsmarket]

The issue isn’t the kids bro. It’s the millennials shoving iPads in these kids faces as toddlers

[@LindaCornell3069]

@organsmarket my sister-in-law did that with her two kids. Only time will tell how they turn out.

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

One to another.

[@kafei-creme]

I'm really scared because it felt like gen Z finally became this self conscious generation fighting for mental health, wanting to break toxic patterns and wanting respect at our jobs (okay to be fair we may also be somewhat lazy and have common issues with gen alpha, as well as being a bit fragile), and after that we have these kids lacking any kind of empathy, being bossed around by their parents and throwing a tantrum at the slightest amount of authority. The cohabitation will be wild.

[@codysataandagi]

Due to a scheduling mix up at my school, I had to take my art and theatre classes alongside the kids a grade younger than me. It was like night and day. So much disrespect, so much drama, so little awareness on how their actions affect others. They were constantly on their phones or iPads and always were fighting with each other. It was hell on earth, and while I still love art, I’m never taking another theatre class ever again.

[@adhdlorde]

I’m 20 and I’m already seeing people my age falling into the hate the younger generation pattern. I think instead we should show the kindness the younger generation so clearly lacks growing up online. They’re just imitating what gen z is doing online right now, as the older generation we should all set a good example for them.

[@Blue71974]

As another 20 something, I have to say we should treat with kindness but if a kid is a consistent bully and constantly trying to get their way then just being nice to them isn’t going to prepare them for the real world they need to be humbled in a way. It really takes a village and we can’t just always be kind, not mean but just maintain sternness and boundaries whether that’s as a grocery store employee telling a kid to not run in the store or in the classroom maintaining boundaries. I remember being scolded by adults other than my parents and most times it was warranted. But of course they shouldn’t be hated because it’s not their fault they are the way that they are.

[@popdogfool]

The never ending cycle of complaining about the generation before and after.

[@adhdlorde]

@@Blue71974 good point, I do agree with discipline! I meant that many gen alpha are doing what gen z do online, which is often time us being less than kind to eachother, obsessing over our appearance, or violating eachothers privacy. I’ve also seen people my age being pretty cruel to gen alpha, like making fun of them for not knowing how to read properly or not knowing what a record player is. I’ve seen very extreme things targeted at these kids. Sorry if that wasn’t communicated in my comment well. ^^

[@petitmains]

I'm an old Milenneal - and TBH...Gen Z isn't that much different from younger Milenneals in terms of college behavior. For instance you, a Gen Z aged person are showing more grace and kindness in this comment than...most people I know in any "Older than them" age demographic. And my partner teaches, Gen Z and Alpha don't...have as many differences among like actual people than media analysis would like to pretend. I've had superstar undergrads of Gen Z who are out there taking over the world. You know what I did for them? Vetted the hell out of their post grad candidate labs... Because these kids are too bright and intelligent to be dimmed by academic brutality. I also had spectacular young Milenneal students. Kickass returning to work Gen Xers. I've worked with amazing Boomers too. We just had a STEM demo night for 2-5th graders...a massive range of ethnicities... And it was a freaking blast. The kids were so fun and so into it, my Gen Z aged presenters and station helpers were absolutely amazing - like I had 5 angels working with me. The kids were amazing! Have we had extra dumb students from those age demographics? Yep. But...they're the minority. Being kind and sweet with the kids is the way. Some of em... Don't seem like a good investment kindness wise but if *someone* doesn't model "Do no harm take no shit, be a fuckin person" how are they gonna know?

[@EpikBirb]

@@adhdlorde Why would people make fun of young babies not knowing what old technology is, kind of absurd to me

[@yesiwillstealurwig6589]

as an gen z who had their first ipad at age 3 and had unrestricted youtube access at age 8, it truly is so bad for kids. As a kid with opinions i would post them online, bad grammar and typos and all, and of course there would be ppl who disagreed with me and most were not kind, most of their retorts i wouldn't even understand what they meant. i stumbled upon so many disturbing and downright innappropriate videos, ended up being in an online groupchat with older hormonal kids who would send innappropriate memes to the chat, at around age 11 or 12 even started being what i would consider "chronically online" and obsessed with made-up issues and found my ability to socialise severely worsened. At 13 i started reducing my screentime with the help of finding other interests and just maturing in general, people I know nickname me "grandpa" because my screentime is very low and i'm considered not very tech-smart. As a kid one of the most traumatic things that could happen to me was my mum posting a video of me crying online as a "punishment".

[@abigailloar956]

Yeah that is not right, I am so sorry

[@disgustof-riley8338]

They call you grandpa but I'm sure they don't know what a file folder is

[@Moonbunny55]

I’m a behavioral therapist and work with children with mental disabilities, mostly those who have to learn to manage a diagnosis of autism. What’s becoming a trend is we’re seeing children who have not been diagnosed with a mental disability but those who haven’t had appropriate parental guidance mostly, the ones whose parents are dismissive. Like in the video, the roles flipped and the children end up running the show. Now, you can imagine how awful this is for families. If you have to pay someone to re-organize and re-shape behavior you know it has to be hell for everyone in the family -on the daily! The good news is that families can and do shift ❤. It only takes about 6 months to fully recover from bad habits and families that work together as a unit with the therapist can see positive, permanent changes in how they relate with each other. The love, peace and harmony is restored and it’s very rewarding to be a part of that. Although I find it rewarding, I can’t help but feel sad that this has even become a reality. Not every person from every generation had issues raising balanced children but we are seeing the pendulum swing from authoritarian style parenting to dismissive. Hopefully the pendulum lands in the middle but in order to do that resources need to be more available starting with understanding solutions and minus any blame and condemnation. I’m afraid that if we don’t come together society is going to become brutal where people only care about themselves and violence is the norm. 😢 IMO starting with minimizing technology is a good idea. It’s influencing. Actually, it’s DICTATING how society treats each other and DICTATES who you should be. It’s so scary to see human minds and behavior being shaped by companies that sell products. That’s all it is. 👹

[@brennahkulwicki2194]

My brother shows CLEAR signs of being on the spectrum and is already diagnosed with ADHD. I've brought it up to my dad and he refuses to get him tested and instead is dismissive, I've been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum but am higher functioning. Whenever I bring it up my dad says I was "misdiagnosed" and denies my diagnosis, he doesn't believe in mental-health and rather than getting his son the help he needs just ignores the fact that he has clear autism signs.

[@brennahkulwicki2194]

My brother also completely RUNS THE SHOW, and because of his bad behavior my sister never gets any attention. Parents need to take away technology because that's a large part of the problem besides lack of discipline and laziness on the parent's part.

[@Moonbunny55]

@@brennahkulwicki2194 I’m sorry that you are in that situation. I imagine that’s very frustrating wanting to help your brother but feel powerless to do so. You might consider reaching out to other family members or trusted friends for support. Finding local support groups or resources for families with autistic members could also be helpful. Additionally, looking into educational materials or advocacy organizations might provide guidance on how to approach your father or navigate the situation. Journaling your thoughts and feelings could also help you process everything. Sending love your way…….💕

[@viajourney]

10 years ago I came to USA as 18 years old girl. I was an aupair in an American family and I was shocked. The kids in US were so different from what I knew in Poland. It was the first time I saw kids with tablets in their hands and they were so addicted to them!Everytime they had some free time they chose tablet instead of playing outside. It was something new to me and shocking how early kids are getting addicted to social media.

[@minecraftdarby1905]

im a 2011 kid, and yes they are bullies. im autsitic, and chubby which just seems to make them think im a roach or somthing. its really bad

[@crispy7499]

Cruel behaviour is weirdly idolized Im 22, i was in your boat. Dont let their behaviour make YOU a worse person.

[@Rosie82333]

That’s always been a thing….

[@halcyon.x]

@@Rosie82333The point is that bullying has gotten worse

[@ba3725]

Focus on school, they won't be bullying you when you own a successful company or you're a lawyer earning loads of money with a house. Don't care about them, you can it ❤

[@what-hq1gl]

just remember you're good enough just like you are, dont let the bullies beat you down 🙏 we cant do anything about the fact that we're autistic nor anything else, so remember to accept yourself for who you are

[@KhinJohnson]

I live in South Australia and phones are banned in all public schools. Honestly, it is such a massive relief because my daughter is starting school next year. We are not going to give her a smart device until at least she is in high school. I feel like that will be so much easier to do now because she wouldn't be surrounded by other kids with phones while she's in school.

[@Kalani_Saiko]

I'm from Victoria, phones are also banned in all public schools here (started in about 2018). My parents took a similar approaches to devices and even then, they made sure to monitor what I did on them. Having the device helped me complete homework (which is seemingly becoming more and more reliant on technology, especially after the pandemic).

[@sentimentaltrash]

Aaa also from SA I was wondering if it was just my school but so happy it’s still a thing haha

[@oldeuropemyhome76]

I'm from Germany. Our regional governments and headmasters are still two steps back - they are forcing "digitalisation" on the children because " we need to catch up with other countries and the Future of the Kids will be the Internet". They refuse to evaluate the experiences that other countries have already made. For example, they no longer use calculators but children must bring their phones for maths. Parents are strongly encouraged to make their children use i-pads instead of school books. My ten year old is entering middle school and we we're told that we must make her check mails twice a day because homework will be made known this way - and we are not to Check for them because " they must get used to checking their mails and using the devices regularly". Guess what... I will do that for her. She is not a ten year old secretary. I also wonder why teachers are no longer able to figure out what the homework will be by the end of the lesson.

[@Krispykreme15]

I’m from nsw, I don’t go to a public school but phones aren’t banned where I go to. Most people at my school are respectful, but like in any generation of kids there are a few rotten apples

[@AndrasBuzas1908]

Does it actually change anything?

[@TianaPotato]

As part of gen alpha(2013) I'm disappointed with *some* of my people. My parents luckily raised me right! and Its honestly sad how things for gen alpha are getting so bad we get stereotyped!

[@Genesisramseyy]

I’m gen z (im 22) and realized I gained an electronic addiction over years like I have to be on something whether my iPhone , Mac , iPad whatever it’s like I have to be on it and I could imagine what this new generation will /are addicted to it as well

[@TrevorHamberger]

Yeah and to break an addiction you throw it in the trash

[@theflyingspaget]

​@@TrevorHambergerthat's certainly an approach, but you could also think about why you're so addicted? I find there's two categories of people with social media addictions, those who have been brainwashed by the platform that are designed to keep you coming back, and those who are using it to hide from the real issues in their lives. Just tossing it out does nothing for people in the latter camp, and it usually gets replaced with something worse.

[@TrevorHamberger]

@@theflyingspaget yeah well in both cases you have to stop doing what everybody else does if you want to fix that situation. So for anybody on social media addicted to it because of their own pathetic life being pathetic the only way to change that is to get off. I did it like 10 years ago.

[@Kalani_Saiko]

Also Gen Z (19). A lot of parents encourage this behaviour by relying on screens as a babysitter for their kids. These parents are usually (not always, there are ALWAYS exceptions) complaining about a hell they created and instead of correcting this behaviour, they just give up on these kids. The oldest of Gen Alpha is 14. It is not too late.