Embodiment and Autistic Trauma

TW: Abuse and Trauma
Trauma work should be done with a licensed medical professional. Taylor Heaton is not a licensed medical professional. Please seek professional support when working through traumatic experiences.
Unfortunately, autistic people are more likely to experience abuse and trauma. Trauma responses (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) have significant impacts on our bodies, and as we learn to integrate those experiences in a safe environment, we gain more control over our lives. This video explores the role of embodiment in healing autistic trauma.
Scroll down for timestamps. ⬇️
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⏱ Timestamps
(1:32) Empathetic people-pleasers
(2:56) Trauma and people-pleasing
(3:33) Trauma defined
(5:14) 4 Trauma Responses
(7:28) Result of trauma responses
(10:05) Embodiment
(10:43) Embodiment practices
(15:27) Autistic Benefits of Embodiment
DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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[@whitneymason406]

Growing up I walked on eggshells to please my parents and caregivers. I'm still working through it, but therapy has helped a lot. Great video Taylor! 💞

[@MomontheSpectrum]

walking on eggshells to appease other people is a really hard pattern to grow out of. So proud of you for doing some really hard work!!

[@keykejdn]

Yes, I remember walking on eggshells.

[@Brittney1986]

I’m a psychology student, I’m training to be a trauma therapist. Everything you’ve explained here is spot on. :) I’ve realized I fawn A LOT. I’m just so scared of upsetting someone because of how much it hurts me. So I do everything I can to build them up and make them happy. It seems the only way to stay safe most of the time. Thank you so much for uploading, this is all so helpful for me right now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I’m so glad it’s helpful to you Brittney. Thanks for sharing!

[@TaraFinlay]

Yay Brittney, we need more trauma informed, neurodivergent informed therapists!

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

All this. ❤🙏🏼

[@matthewcruz1709]

As a survivor of multiple narcissists, both in personal and professional relationships, fawning became my default. It was only once I was pushed to an absolute limit and couldn't run away (because my housing was tied up with my employment) that I broke and realised I am autistic. I've since become more aware of what my emotions feel like and how my trauma responses affect my relationship with my wife. It's rough.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Sounds like you’ve been through a lot, Matthew. I know it’s a lot of work. Narcissistic abuse can make you feel crazy and has long term consequences. I’m glad you’ve been able to make some personal progress. I know it’s so so hard.

[@kariannefimland1475]

Because trama is our emotional reaction to the situation. There can be trauma, without it being abuse by the other person. Especially if you have lived life undiagnosed. And that is sometimes hard too. the other person doesn't understand how traumatizing the situation is/has been.

[@cindyh303]

Had never heard of fawning before and now I've learned it's the exact definition of my entire life. I'm shook.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yeah it was pretty mind blowing for me too.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I think I tend to freeze most of the time in stressful situations but fawning definitely sounds like me, too. I am still at a point where I don't exactly know what my past traumas are. I am fortunate in that I've never been physically or sexually abused in my life. Bullied, yes. Also, emotional neglect from having grown up with two undiagnosed autistic parents is likely in my case. I'm saying that because I've heard of emotional neglect before but I struggle to know what it means. I know I've dealt with a lot of intense emotions all my life and was mostly left to handle them alone. But I'm also bad at being able to identify, never mind communicate my emotions so I don't have a clear picture of what was supposed to happen when I was struggling emotionally. This is definitely heavy stuff.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes, you're right, definitely heavy stuff, but so important to have these conversations. Community helps the healing process so much, and also just TALKING about stuff, when it feels comfortable and safe. Someone once told me, "If you can't talk about it, it owns you." I try to live by that advice, and it seems to help me feel empowered.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Mom on the spectrum... serious question: who do you decide to talk to? I am a chronic oversharer and compulsive talker (you’d never guess, LOL!) and my one size fits all solution is to talk about the elephant in the room. Endlessly, especially now that my mental health is my special interest. But it doesn’t feel like it’s actually healthy and it drives people away. So...is it the being ABLE to talk about it that’s the important part? Or how you talk about it, or to whom? Or (gulp) learning to keep it down to 5 million words or less?

[@PinkFaline]

I have never encountered anyone else who has had the same lived experience as me in the exact way that you described it…. I… thank you. and i’m sorry 🫂

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@PinkFaline 😊

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

Yes I am one of those people and I love that you speak "nero-spicy"

[@divinelotus19]

I give it to God. He is my rock. He is my everything. This world is hard. He can handle it more than I can. 🙏🏼 God Bless Everyone.

[@jesusfollower5588]

I also give it to God many nights and go to sleep but now with Meds. God made Doctors. I do go to Jesus but he is with me in my storms. ❤

[@laurenpatterson4681]

You're such a kind and gifted communicator!! Enjoying learning from you.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much Lauren

[@bacchira1251]

I am crying. Resonating deeply with the negative side of stress responses and with the positive ones of healing. I am at stage one: recognizing the so long suppressed body signs. It feels right, but sometimes it scares me. It hurts, but also frees me. Very weird. I am excited and looking into a positive future, but also being afraid of the path of healing I have to pass. Thanks for the video. It came at the perfect time. By the way: I am successful because I analyse everybody, custom the information on meetings for each one and also consider their possible emotional state. So yes, fawn and people pleasing are my most used copying strategies.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

The first step is a hard step, but you’re right self awareness can also be freeing. Take it at your own pace and know this is a lifelong journey, but being more at home in your body is always worth moving towards!

[@kellyely9113]

I've always gravitated towards mindfulness through meditative breathing and started doing yoga about 8 years ago regularly and it did help to calm my nervous system and I am able to handle stress much better now without resorting to unhealthy coping strategies as often. It is a continual process because so much of just being in the world is so much more intense than those who are not neurodivergent and don't have highly sensitive nervous systems. It can be really hard to ask for what you need when you're around a lot of people because it's so overwhelming most of the time and you're just trying to assimilate to your surroundings but everything is too loud and intense and you really just want to be elsewhere were it is safe and quiet. I used to dissociate all the time as a kid to find my "happy place" where I could hide and decompress which is why I think my imagination is so vivid and can actually induce strong emotional expressions which can be odd to someone who is observing you. I found the best way for me to stay emotionally regulated in large groups is to be an observer and remain objective about the information I'm getting so I can make clear and educated decisions when in social settings.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I really resonate with what you said about being an objective observer in social settings so you can make educated decisions. I do that too.

[@TrinityMorningstar]

I remember you making a video talking about how you arnt a savant. I disagree. You are a healer. You have helped so many and that in itself is magical. Thank you for your channel. As for you were the beginning of my autism journey.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

😭 thank you. 💞

[@kuibeiguahua]

@@MomontheSpectrum I have a post-it behind my computer that says "I am a teacher and a healer, and I serve Life" and that has been my overarching goal, and I have found this video today that talked about my whole life, and now I realize I will be able to learn sooooooo many things through your channel! I am so tremendously excited! You are a role model for teachers and healers everywhere!

[@Fred-ff6bv]

it’s not possible for me to be more self aware. i physically feel every square inch of my body all the time.

[@skillit32]

This video has so much valuable information! Definitely deserves a second or third watch to get it all. 😊

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glad it is helpful, Matt!

[@TaraFinlay]

I just stumbled upon your channel the other night, the one with your husband and his top 10 list. I sent it to my husband. I was diagnosed with adhd combined type, and autism, at age 51. It was first suggested when I was 49. Highly empathic people pleaser after a lifetime of trying to read every situation to blend in and to try to avoid social "mistakes" by people pleasing. That antenna idea is something I remember trying to explain in my early 20s. I had no idea why I did it. I am going to share this video with my therapist. ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi Tara. Thanks for your comment. Welcome to the community. 💓

[@zulfiqarnaqvi5487]

Hy beautiful girl

[@mytimetoshine]

Thank you so much for this video. I was diagnosed this Monday just gone with autism. I am 43years old. From the age of 4 years old until I was 12 I was sexually abused by my step father. This still lingers for me and dreams can really set me back when they show up. Smells can trigger me. Hoping therapy will help but still on a waiting list. But love watching and learning from your videos. 😇

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So sorry to hear about what has happened to you. Thank you for your vulnerability. I know it will help others here. Glad you are seeking support for yourself, and I wish there was no waitlist. Also glad that this video is helpful to you in the meantime!

[@OldTimer1970]

I know, others always first. Fawning hit me hard.

[@dawnhughes9942]

Thank you for the content. I went from fawn to flight in some dramatic ways. I have backpacked across the wilderness solo. I've pushed everything and everyone away just to feel safe. I think getting out of fawn is messy and painful. It took me 15 years to understand I was human trafficked and I finally reported it the police. Please do more on how to rebuild after tearing everything down to heal. 💚

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for your honesty, Dawn. I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through, but glad to hear you're taking steps to heal.

[@Mikeyboi699]

Thanks for the video. It was helpful, especially realising that fawning is a stress response.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes, fawning was so eye opening to me. I don’t run away from problems (flight) or get aggressive and go towards them (fight), but I definitely definitely pretend things are ok when they aren’t.

[@mattfleming86]

I'm... currently trapped in a fawning state. My wife of over 16 years (who I honestly love dearly) cheated on me and left. Instead of talking about her frustrations with me.. she took the easy way out. Unexpectedly. So if course I apologized to her. I forgave her. I went through every possible thing I could have done wrong and tried to make amends. I still lay awake at night wishing for her return- although logically there is no way that I could ever trust her again. I'm stuck in a loop of blaming myself for everything and trying to fix it by "being the better human" I 100% recognize it is illogical. It makes no sense to me. But i'm 4 weeks into this meltdown and still in the same place. Your video gave me a lot to think about. As always, it is much appreciated. Thanks for providing a safe place to vent.

[@0blivvy8]

I only recently learned about copy & paste behaviors and am glad I can put a name to it. I was a "very shy and sensitive" child and know that I studied how people behaved & reacted from a young age; I remember doing it in daycare at 5. I have to be careful because I could even mimic speaking patterns and accents, which could be inappropriate. I'm extremely empathetic, to the point I can often feel what other people are feeling. When you talked about the antenna, that is spot on! It's like everything is amplified, every noise, feeling, and sense. It's very overwhelming and trying to understand my sensory processing issues is how I came to learn more about autism.

[@esabin-simpson1520]

This resonates with me. I was only recently diagnosed as autistic at age 62, and I'm working back through my entire life, reinterpreting it in light of the new information. I was ALWAYS fawning until I got to about the age of 28 when I finally realised how I was enabling others to use and manipulate me. I would sit listening to someone relate their problem or need with my brain RACING to think of some way I could help them. There would be a momentary relief when I realised I COULD help in some way, but then distress as I realised that I'd dropped myself into some inconvenience or issue of my own. [Like offering to look after someone else's kids when I already had my own young family, and then being totally exhausted by having all six kids running around needing to be fed.] Not good

[@neuroticnation144]

Aww geez, I remember my parents fighting since I was like three? I felt it necessary to become a referee… as a toddler! To keep me safe from their wrath, I set out to please them, always trying to keep the peace, by reading body language, nuances in tone, intervening before anger broke out. I became really good at it. As an adult I was able to serve my massage clients well, predicting their needs before they spoke. Now image walking into a room of people with this people sensitive radar going, mass internal chaos! Thanks for adding FAWN to the mix. I still do that with everyone around me, and it’s exhausting. Now I know.

[@melrosemaps2937]

I've been thinking alot about these things lately. Thanks for the video!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome.

[@johnzimpelman9018]

So I am and continue to be a "people pleaser" and unfortunately because of the lack of any true friendship or healthy relationship, these so called connections are very transactional. The people only reach out to me for help and advice and never really reach out for a simple conversation. I have been helping my 89 year old neighbor as I have finally accepted that she has dementia even though she is in denial. Several evenings ago she was argumentative and have paranoia, she is under the impression that I am controlling and also argumentative even though I use tact in dealing with her. The end results was I went into "meltdown mode" when I arrived home. Fortunately I saw my wonderful holistic therapist and she reminded me that I hadn't had a meltdown in some time and being on the Autistic Spectrum I need to take time to decompress and refocus on myself. I am tired of such transactional so called connections aa people become so NEEDY! It's great to be part of this and the Autistic Community!

[@aka.roryyy]

i've been working on embodiment for a while now. i've always been a mind person, and every meditation teacher i listen to says it's important to be present and embodied. i'm working on grounding and centering and getting ahold of my fear. it really helps me, once i notice i'm tense, first i relax the shoulder & belly and slow my breathing, then i reassure myself that I am safe, nothing is happening to me rn, there's nothing i _need_ to do rn. mindfulness meditation finally clicked for me and it's exactly this. brilliant. thank you 🙏🏻💕🌟

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're very welcome. thanks for your comment Lorelei

[@tracirex]

Taylor, this is the best video ever. I watched it twice. thank you for pulling all this information together. very important topics. I hope there is more to come on un-masking and embodiment. brilliant job.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glad it was helpful!

[@imogenoliver]

I feel like a whole other difficulty level is added to this when, like me, you have alexithymia, just my personal thought anyway

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes absolutely. It’s a complex, long term process.

[@kuibeiguahua]

This is monumentally significant, Mom on the Spectrum! Thank you!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re very welcome!

[@oliviaknight1123]

Oh my goodness yes! Overwhelming sensory experiences. Every. Single. Day. I love to go for coffee, but I feel like I hear every conversation of every voice, every clink of metal, bang of coffee machine, spoon on cup, etc.... and it's exhausting. I feel understood and explained. Thank you Taylor, thank you. ❤ I feel like I understand myself better and the reasons I've reacted to situations. I feel like I understand the reason that I have PTSD too, but that's a whole other thing! I feel like I need to rewatch this again to really take it all in. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, I can't tell you how much I appreciate finding you and your channel.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re very welcome. Thanks for your comment Olivia.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Thanks for the trigger warning, it reminded me that I probably should wait on this one. Given that I have hypervigilance, which prevailing medical opinion seems to think can only come from trauma, I’ve been struggling with anger about how trauma is now being represented (not by you, but by the therapeutic community.) So it’s a trigger word for me right now. This was an opportunity to write a 2,000 word essay as to why I feel this way, which I am mercifully not posting here! (Spoiler: I did not exonerate the current use of trauma, but I clarified my problems with it.) Thank you for helping me work through some of that, if indirectly! 😄

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It is encouraging to me that you are able to listen to your body's cues that now might not be the best time for this video. Sounds like a supportive decision for yourself.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Thanks...honestly I am probably set a little high on the interoception scale, it’s made things like mindfulness tricky (“wait, I’m supposed to be MORE aware of how my body is feeling?”). The hard part is not acting on impulse. Your warning was the type of support I need, because while interoceptive, I have a weird blind spot related to the space between having trouble motivating and impulsive action. My father was the same. So more and more I say I need a vocal prompt.

[@tracirex]

I'm another highly interoceptive person. I feel, see and hear the insides of my body too much. it's annoying and distracting. for example, I can see veins and cells inside my eye balls, I can feel my pulse all over my body. I've heard that internally focused meditation is not beneficial for highly interoceptive people. we need less tuning in. we can do externally focused exercises instead. focus on what is going on outside of our bodies. glad to hear I'm not the only one. thanks for posting.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@@tracirex Yes, I knew there were people like us from reading about it, but I hadn't talked to anyone else. Glad to hear from you! I have indeed found at this point that those things that are not me are the most grounding. I loved the solar system and the universe as a kid, and the awareness that I am only a tiny part of it all is actually comforting. My therapist found me a guided visualization that started way up above the earth, but then zoomed in and in until I was in my room. I was like, uh, no, let's stay in space! It's curious how my interoception compares to my proprioception. The latter isn't really terrible, but I have never had much of a sense how to make my body parts do certain things. I'm a slow learner at Physical Therapy..."you mean tighten THIS muscle?" "Uh, no..." :)

[@MrDaydreamer1584]

I think this mirroring of others is a huge part of being autistic. Can definitely be a problem. You're absolutely right about emodiment. Thanks for this video!

[@lisabmpls]

Amazing video! The Fawn response is new to me yet COMPLETELY fits with so much of my life experience. Thank you for this important topic. And thank you for reminding us to be compassionate with ourselves on this journey of self-discovery! Also, in my humble experience, doing this hard stuff with a therapist has been crucial for my sense of well being. You are a gift to this community!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for your comment and perspective! Absolutely right, community and sometimes professional help are a vital part of this process.

[@bryanmerton5153]

Thanks for this Taylor! I am going to have to watch this several times! I am a people pleaser and to realize it can be a trauma response is eye opening as is fawning. I have been trying as of late to be more present as I tend to live in the future. I am a worrier. Being in touch with my body is something I haven’t considered as well. Lots to unpack! You are awesome. Thanks!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome Bryan! These concepts are definitely something that have been eye opening to me as well. I thought I was being kind by “putting others first” but through lots of therapy and personal reflection I’m realize that comes at the expense of knowing my true self. It for sure is a lot to unpack.

[@lisarucker1832]

As you’re speaking on trauma and I feel all the places my body is tense due to the fact that I am recognizing that I have sometimes several trauma responses in one single moment.

[@vincentadler6486]

Saving this vid for later when I might need it, this was a great watch! Thank you for being a force of good, spreading as much news and information as you can manage to, it goes a very, very long way. ❤️

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks Vincent 💓

[@lauradeneault3525]

OMG! I just stop the video at 6:18 because wow something clicked inside me!! The way you describe fawn trauma really hit me in the face because it resonates so much to how I see my masking ... 😲

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes it can be quite a big realization. Please take things slowly and process as you have the capacity to do so. 💓

[@katiewynn3926]

I think that is why I had to move away from ppl from art college. I do enjoy being independent and on my own especially when I was hanging out with ppl who made me feel like i didn’t belong like they had more of the same interests than what i did and so I was always pushed over to the side. And I just sat there and let it happen they were high-fiving each other and saying how they would never live alone basically trying to make me feel bad for what I was wanting, so that is where I knew I had a ppl pleasing problem but I just had to keep to myself and let time fly by, so I could remove myself from the situation. I feel so much free and less room for more mistreatment because I’m not around that energy and I’m not into the same things as they are. I wish I could find new friends but idk how to I always end up having other obsessions that are in the self improvement genres, philosophy, anything smart related, some movies and tv shows, and not entertainment like anime, video games, magic cards, etc. 😢 I could but I rather not. Like they are good ppl but they also were not very nice and they could probably say the same thing about me or it me always trying to put others first and helping ppl to make healthy good decisions. Not my responsibility to fix anyone even though I think I had those tendencies. 😢

[@nataliesirota2611]

Thanks so very much for discussing this difficult topic. In my doctor's appointment, when I finally receive my diagnosis, this is exactly what I mentioned needing the most help with. After all the years of trauma responses, I need help unpacking all the coping and get back to being in and listening to my own body.

[@lidu6363]

This reminds me of one psychoterapeutic method I tried, which was simply called "focusing." In retrospect, it has helped me immensely.

[@anniewho4655]

Newly self-diagnosed in middle age, and have been absorbing all of your channel I can make time for! The videos are so helpful and encouraging. I appreciate you!!

[@arianerobitaille158]

Hi Taylor! Thanks again for a great video. I was speaking with my social worker this week and I was telling her that I need to analyse intellectually everything before I can process it in my body. What you said about embodiment makes a lot of sense. I’m slowly realizing too that I neglect my body a lot of times. When there is something obviously wrong, I tend to it, but in the small everyday things, I don’t really care and those can make a difference at the end. Your video is giving me food for thought. Bye and take care!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Absolutely! I have realized very similar things about myself. I intellectualize everything even when my body is speaking loud and clear. It’s been difficult to make changes but I’m so glad I’m learning.

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

This is so, so good, Taylor. You are very gifted in communicating clearly things that can be hard to communicate or have understood. It can feel a lot less overwhelming and easier to integrate bc of how well you conceptualize emotionally intense realities. It helps me get my brain around it better, is validating, helpful, and empowering. Thank you 🙏🏼💕

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This comment means so much to me. Thank you very much for taking the time to share this with me.

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

@@MomontheSpectrum 😘😘

[@marypreston9791]

Also I have can go back and forth between all 3 of these behaviors depending on the situation. Thanks for speaking about this in a super clear way

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome! Thanks for your comment, Mary.

[@nnylasoR]

@5:57 - Oh, [bleep]. 🤯🥺😭

[@marthamurphy7940]

This is an excellent video! Thank you! I just had an inkling of a realization about fawning and some situations in which I've done that. It wasn't until this past spring that I realized that I've been through a considerable amount of trauma, mostly because I was taught in childhood and in my marriage that my feelings weren't important.

[@lulumoon6942]

Learning about Fawning really put important pieces together for me, and is a clue I'm going off the rails. Thanks! 👍

[@MomontheSpectrum]

learning about fawning was a HUGE lightbulb moment for me. I went from thinking "I'm not THAT stressed" to thinking... have I ever NOT been stressed?? Totally changed the way I view my reactions and coping strategies. I hope it adds value to your life like it has mine.

[@jgoodwin977]

This was so good, thank you ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome Jenna thanks for your comment

[@andreahull405]

i had to rewatch and rewind half a dozen times on this video. wonderful wonderful stuff and i already read 'when the body says no' (fantastic book) so it wasn't new but still, the way it was presented and from a specific autistic awareness .. so so very helpful! i remember at some point realizing that i was tensing my entire body all day and i would only feel it at night when i had to consciously make even my feet and toes relax. made me feel like i was so screwed up and uptight or something. now i am understanding better. 🥰 thank you so much for your video!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! Thanks for your comment. I can really relate to that feeling of only recognizing you’ve been tense all day once it’s nighttime and then having to consciously find ways to relax. It’s tough.

[@the-helpful-stranger1154]

I think for some of us, the empathy is a biproduct of thinking in feelings. If I am watching a movie or listening to someone's issue, my brain immediately starts putting myself in their place to see how I would feel.. since I am feeling the emotion to understand it, I find it impossible to not be overwhelmed with empathy. I know because I very specifically think in feelings to translate to word, feeling all the situations I think about has a weight that cannot be ignored. I wonder if I had the ability to see pictures and images in my head, if it would be harder to deal with. The extra sensory input being felt being just a little too much.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

[@the-helpful-stranger1154]

@@MomontheSpectrum Of course. I think the more WE, the people who have to live this way, define OURSELVES, in a way others can understand... we will fare much better than we could have imagined (for those who can).

[@bethwishitwereviolet5938]

I’m so thankful for you Taylor. The things you are teaching us are important. Your explanations are easy to understand, and grasp. Always sending lots of love and hugs your way dear one. 💕

[@drakovis798]

Thank you Taylor. Thank you very much.

[@LisaAnnOberbrunner]

Thank you very much for addressing this.

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Relate so much 💞💙👊

[@littlefroggie]

thank you so much for this video, that's uncovered some thoughts i haven't had before in regards to a lot of things about myself and i really appreciate the wording you used throughout the video. i found this to be incredibly informative and impactful, especially around the 6 minute point when you were referring to the 'fawn' response. so thanks for providing this!

[@Fer-De-Lance]

Thanks.

[@JanneGlass]

I found your channel just yesterday, while I have been watching lots of videos on autism for a while now. Happy I found you because what I’ve seen from you so far resonates with me a lot! I actually just found a therapist a few weeks ago with whom I’m going to work on exactly this - embodiment and trauma. I worked on this before I got told I’m autistic and didn’t get very far then. I hope that knowing I’m autistic - and together with a therapist who seems to understand me way better than the previous one - will help me to get more out of it this time.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Sounds like you’re doing a lot of important work for yourself!

[@chimifuckingchanga7386]

The fawning defenition hit hard 🤯

[@marasmithson6218]

After having a conflict moment in my childhood family setup (christmas yay) and first disconnecting and then leaving to another room to cry (so a combination of FAWN and FLIGHT), I told my mom and sister a few hours later about how I felt completely alert, uncomfortable, and had those stress responses to that situation. Anyways when I confronted them I was told that they didn't want me to have situations that made me feel that bad, but they couldn't do anything about it since they didn't 'feel bad' in that situation and I couldn't pinpoint what they did wrong. I explained that it was the overall situation, tone, passive-agressiveness but basically the their answer stayed Any tips from other similar struggles? EDIT: I'm (with my therapist)working on embodiment and putting a finger on detecting underlying feelings in self checkins when I'm with myself - I did that in the time alone in the other room and was/am super proud for even realizing and not just staying in that other room silent and alone for a couple days and still having that stress linger in my body forever, like I usually would've done as a child.

[@HH-ig3ck]

Hugely resonant. Thank you. Xxx

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome. thanks for your comment.

[@janinetaylor233]

Fantastic video, thank you

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome.

[@mxinwei]

My long-time friend suggested I might be on the spectrum...it seemed more obvious to her, much less to me. I once begged her to come with me on a dinner get-together to meet a guy (and his friend) who had been messaging me for weeks, but I wasn't interested at all (nor thought he was interested in me) so I never looked nor spoke to him. It never dawned on me that it was extremely rude of me spending the entire evening doodling 😂And I was 18 that time! Of course, over the years I've picked up patterns to pretend, but sometimes I slip up. Other times I'm too exhausted to pretend. I've been through a lot big and small traumas. I felt so seen when my therapist acknowledged it. That being said, I tried so many things and found weight lifting and massage therapy to be the most calming. Kayaking and cycling are great as well but nothing beats a massage therapist you click with.

[@IllyDragonfly]

Oh gosh, so far I only dealt with the first three... but I just realized I used the Fawn strategy with my former boss who scared the hell out of me. I don't think she was a bad person, but she was very strict, stern and had a way of talking which was very aggressive like 'you are either with me or against me' kind of behaviour which I hated because I hate confrontations. She kept using microaggressions like saying my clothes drew the attention of male colleagues, implying I didn't want to work when I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes when I felt overstimulated (she didn't know I am autistic) but I couldn't confront her, I couldn't just leave and freezing just made her more frustrated with me. So... I used the fawn strategy, even if I didn't realize it back then 0.o I still cannot talk in an informal way with my new boss because I feel very wary of anybody taking that position, I automatically assume I will be mistreated by that figure because the previous boss seemed hating me.

[@yogaetxean1701]

great video!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks!

[@bringiton5282]

Trauma means wound from Greek.

[@zulfiqarnaqvi5487]

This is very beautiful girl.that is speaking.i love 💕 her.

[@marypreston9791]

I was wondering what do u think of people with non verbal learning disability who have similar issues as high functioning autistics. What type of therapy can work and treating alcohol addiction. I just got out of detox last week that was also a mental health place but the group therapy and other stuff was too draining or didn't make sense to me or I overloaded or the topics were too broad and not specific enough. I have the label of ptsd. I might have borderline personality disorder along with bipolar or just one of those. Last time I saw a expert awhile ago they were thinking I might have both

[@anxen]

Trauma is a psychic injury, ie emotional/psychological/mental rupture that is difficult to heal and creates misaligned functioning of body/mind.

[@davidhill5684]

Im cringing already at the idea of having to be in touch with this body. Find it hard to even call it "mine". Yes i know im not at all grounded, nor do i really want to be. And yes, it clearly has caused me huge problems. I live in a curious fantasy world. But I'm hurting so much from "real" life i don't want to be a part of it.

[@jess98914]

I’m literally 3 minutes in and I’m relating to everything. Literally everything. And that autistic people are often empaths, so true for me. Do you find that autistic people are often introverts as well? What autistic people being human design type reflectors ?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Many autistic people are introverted but not all!

[@asmongoldsmouth9839]

Might I suggest you get a low cost microphone like an BLUE Snowball or something that will isolate your voice. It's $39. The echo and distant audio is hard to listen to.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Trying to figure it out. I have a blue yeti and I used it on this video. I keep playing with the mic settings but nothing sounds as clear as I want it to be.

[@remiscott7759]

fight, flight, freind, flop, foul

[@BCSchmerker]

+MomontheSpectrum *As a son o' the victim of an abusive first marriage by a second wife who survived the War Relocation of 1942-45, who was diagnosed with Kanner's syndrome as an infant, I's basically a test case for ’üpothümía (Hel. ᾿υποθυμία "insufficient soul").* MAJOR emotional disabilities, including inability to read others' faces or body language. From teenagerdom to young adulthood, I chased down materials from the Adult Child Movement, which eventually led to a dead end. When surprised with an unexpected demand, I freeze. Shut down. Haven't developed a sense of/for emotional safety, which I understand to be a prerequisite for trust. Frustratingly, most of the lessons learned in the most recent studies of the neurodivergency spectrum aren't backported to the senior end. Only in 2022 have I discovered applicable resources for the aged end's predicament: (I) The Regents of the University of California (Berkeley, CA, USA), who operate several Channels at KZbin℠, including four for the College of Medicine at Los Ángeles (CA, USA) (e.g. UCLA CART, UCLA PEERS), and two for the College of Medicine at Davis (CA, USA). Frustratingly, none of the studies that tested the Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills (trademarked as PEERS® by the Regents of the University of California in behalf of the College of Medicine at Los Ángeles) were for the fifty-plus-year age bracket. (II) The Personal Development School® (Concord, ON, CAN), which have their own Channel at KZbin℠ and their own Page (and two Groups) on facebook®. Gibson Sensei stresses relationships of all grades on the Channel cited. Uncertain whether the Fearful Avoidant and Dismissive Avoidant materials are neurodivergency-informed. (III) The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning™ (Chicago, IL, USA), who have their own Channel at KZbin℠ and a Page on facebook®. Probably aimed at the neurotypical; I cannot count on neurodivergency-informed materials this vendor. (IV) Goal-Oriented Academic & Learning Services™ (Cupertino, CA, USA), who own a Page on facebook®. Cannot guarantee that their materials are neurodivergency-informed. (V) The Simons Foundation Inc. (New York, NY, USA) dba Simons Powering Autism Research for Knowledge (SPARK for Autism®), who owns a Page on facebook®. Neurodivergency-informed by definition, but no materials on evidence-based workarounds. But the most promising lead on a _proper_ mitigation for autism is _right in your back yard:_ Gutstein, Sheely & Associates PC (Houston, TX, USA) dba The Connection Center®. Steven E. Gutstein Ph.D. and Rachelle K. Sheely Ph.D. developed an apparently effective intervention under the RDIconnect® brand. In addition to your Recommendation, viz., Lindsay C. Gibson Psy.D., _Who You Were Meant To Be: A Guide to Finding or Rediscovering Your Life's Purpose_ (New York, NY, USA: New Horizon Press, 2000), I've activated my wishlist entry for Steven E. Gutstein Ph.D. and Rachelle K. Sheely Ph.D., _Relationship Development Intervention with Children, Adolescents and Adults: Social and Emotional Development Activities for Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, PDD and NLD_ (London, GBR: Jessica Kingsley Pub., 2002).