Рет қаралды 44
EMOTIONAL VALIDATION | NEVER Tell Others How They Should Feel!
I want to give you some advice.
When somebody shares with you that they feel low, that they are going through challenges,
there's something within that is struggling; it doesn't matter how small that is. Don't say to them that they should be grateful for the positive in their lives, or to appreciate what they have,
or that that's nothing and there are people that go through much worse!
By devaluing the other person's experience, you make them feel even more hurt. Emotions are temporary states that we need to acknowledge so we can navigate through them.
When somebody tells us that it's not okay to feel how we feel, it hurts; it means not feeling that we are entitled to our feelings and emotions. How many times our parents have said to us that we shouldn't feel this way or we should feel in a different way.
Allowing that internal experience to play out facilitates change because if I feel validated by you if I feel that you are actively listening without trying to change me, I'll change myself. It just happens automatically. Sometimes just that acknowledgement, care, love, understanding and appreciation and not wanting the other to change or give advice helps.
Perhaps we never felt that before, and just by feeling that, something shifts inside sometimes; we just need a good ear that listens.
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